I Dream of Jeannie (1965–1970): Season 5, Episode 11 - The Wedding - full transcript
The big day has finally arrived and Tony and Jeannie look forward to finally getting married and it promises to become a huge media event. However, there is one problem, because genies can't be photographed the couple are afraid that the wedding will get publicity for all the wrong reasons. In fact, Jeannie panics and almost calls off the wedding and considers eloping instead. However, she comes up with an interesting solution when she decides to use a mannequin to pose as her and be photographed until it comes time for the vows. Can the happy couple pull it off or will it be a disaster?
[♪]
Oh, master.
I cannot believe
that we are really
going to be married.
It is like a dream.
No, it's not a dream, Jeannie.
It's really happening.
Mm-hm.
Would you do something for me?
Yeah, sure. What?
Would you say
"Mrs. Anthony Nelson"?
Mrs. Anthony Nelson.
Ooh.
[GIGGLES]
Oh, that is so beautiful
I cannot stand it.
Yeah. Hey, listen,
you gotta change.
We don't wanna be late
for the rehearsal.
Oh. Oh. Ah.
Are you all right?
I... I will hurry.
[♪]
BELLOWS:
Did you order any more azaleas?
[PEOPLE CHATTERING]
MAN:
Please. Please, everybody.
We must get started
with this rehearsal.
Now, I've got a baptism at 11
and a funeral at noon.
Everything's gonna be
all right, Reverend.
Well, now, is everybody here?
Well...
The bride,
the groom, the best man...
Oh. Where is
Major Healey, Anthony?
Well, he knew this thing
was gonna be at 10:00.
Well, uh, keep calm,
everyone. Don't worry.
I'll find him. Oh, excuse me.
Matron of honor?
Oh yes, that's me. I'm here.
The father of the bride?
Oh, uh, Dr. Bellows
is gonna give
the bride away, sir.
Well, is he here then?
Oh, well, he just went
to get the best man.
Major Nelson, babies get cold
if they're kept waiting.
All national magazines, major?
Well, that's marvelous.
We're all here now, Reverend.
Finally. Now, then,
Major Healey is the best man.
Uh, Major Healey.
I can't figure this out.
You know, I took this picture
about an hour ago.
Yeah.
Well, it's supposed to be
of the bride and groom,
but, uh...
Well, the bride didn't come out.
Uh, let me see that.
That's peculiar.
We... The purse is there,
but no Jeannie.
Uh, may I see that, sir?
Oh, yes.
JEANNIE [QUIETLY]:
Genies cannot be photographed.
[LAUGHING] Well...
Major Nelson.
What are you doing?
It wasn't a very
good liking, sir.
[♪]
[♪]
No pictures? What are you
gonna show your grandchildren?
Shh. Roger.
She doesn't photograph.
She doesn't photograph?
You mean she's not photogenic?
That's a heck of a thing
to say at your wedding.
No. She just
doesn't come out.
You saw that picture.
That is right, Major Healey.
It is one of the few
disadvantages of being a genie.
Oh, what am I gonna tell
the reporters and photographers?
You're not telling 'em.
I'm gonna tell 'em.
No photographers and that's it.
Now, let's get
this rehearsal over with.
Oh. Hi.
Uh, Major Healey.
No pictures, no pictures.
No pictures?
Well, you can take one of me
later in my uniform.
[STAMMERS]
[♪]
And now, folks,
if I may have your...
Dr. Bellows.
Why are you shouting?
We're the only ones here.
Oh, yes.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Uh, the Reverend Weems, uh,
asked me to tell you
that he had to leave
to perform the baptism.
And he asked me, uh, to
take over the rehearsal.
Uh, now. Amanda,
you just stand
right where you are.
'Course I'll stay right here.
This is where
he told me to stand.
Amanda, what's the matter?
[SNIFFLES]
Nothing's the matter with me?
I always cry at weddings.
But this isn't the wedding.
It's only a rehearsal.
May... Maybe she's
rehearsing her crying.
But, it's rather ridiculous...
Well, there you are.
You can have all the rehearsal
shots you could want.
Oh, uh... Uh, sir.
The photographers...
Hold it just like that.
[SCREAMING]
Major Nelson. It's a
camera, not a shotgun.
These gentlemen are from
the national magazines.
No, no, no.
Why can't we have a little...?
Please, no one...
[SCREAMS]
Uh. Could I have that, please?
Thank you.
Can I speak to you, sir?
No, no. No... No photograph.
But I insist on it.
Yes.
Sir. Uh, uh...
No photographers, please.
Please, no photographers.
We... We made an agreement.
Major Nelson, Jeannie,
you're both obviously upset.
Now, l-let's have it.
It's the photographers, sir.
We don't want any.
We don't want any pictures
taken at all.
No. That is right,
general. I...
I-I am camera shy.
Yeah.
Oh, Jeannie, I... I understand
how you feel. Believe me.
You'd like a simple,
intimate wedding.
But an astronaut
is a public figure,
and the press is entitled
to cover this marriage.
Sir, I'm afraid
I'm gonna have to insist.
It's a personal matter.
Major. It's out of
my hands.
Major Healey cleared
these people with the Pentagon,
and they'd scream blue murder
if I tried to throw them out.
I'm sorry, but you'll have to
make the best of it.
Oh, sorry.
No pictures.
[LAUGHS]
Oh, master, what
are we going to do?
I'd like to elope.
That is an excellent idea.
Honey, wait a minute.
[CHATTER]
[♪]
Uh. Jeannie.
What are you doing?
We're eloping, master,
just as you said.
It will only take me
a minute to pack.
Wait a minute. I said
I might like to elope.
I... I... We can't.
It's too late.
But everyone is so busy.
[SOBBING] And they
are all nervous.
And you're worried
about photographers.
And this is all wrong.
Hey, hey. Wait.
Wait a minute. No sense
in crying about it. Come here.
What's all this?
You don't have to cry.
Yes, I do.
Oh, look, I know
exactly how you feel.
You do?
Of course I do.
Uh, you've got what they call,
um, pre-wedding jitters.
That's all. Ev...
It's indigenous to brides.
It's kind of a tradition.
But...
I wanted our wedding to be
so... beautiful...
and simple.
Beautiful? Oh, sure.
But simple, darling, never.
You see, the trouble
with weddings is,
the... The bride
and groom don't count.
Well... then it's
why we should elope.
So we can go someplace
where we can be alone.
Aw. We're gonna have the rest
of our lives alone together.
Now, let's just figure today,
that's for everybody else.
All our friends and relations
will come and wish us luck.
Give us their congratulations
and their confidence.
And after all, how would Roger,
and Dr. and Mrs. Bellows feel
if we just ran off?
[♪]
[GASPS]
Oh, that is exactly
what we have done.
They must be looking
all over for us.
Let 'em look a little longer.
It won't hurt 'em.
This is much more
important. You see,
I don't care where I marry you.
A parachute.
Madison Square Garden.
Or Westminster Abby.
Because I love you.
You believe that?
Oh, yes, master, I do.
Mm. Don't call me master.
Call me Tony.
Yes, An... Anthony.
I... I do.
All right. You remember that
"I do" for the ceremony.
It'll really come in handy.
Shall we get on
with the wedding?
[GIDDILY]
Oh, yes. Darling, yes.
Yes.
[CHUCKLES]
You know, you were right.
It could've been a lot worse.
Yeah? How?
Well...
my mother could've
decided to come.
Oh.
Master.
What?
What about the photographers?
You'll just have to
blink the cameras.
Blink the cameras.
I can't find them anywhere.
We'll have to go along
without them.
Amanda, can't you look over...
Sir, uh, can we get along
with the rehearsal?
Uh, Jeannie's...
Oh, there you are.
Yes. I think we'd try
to muddle our way through.
Major Nelson, would you
kindly go over there
and stand next to Major Healey.
Uh... Uh, Jeannie,
you and I have to march down
the center aisle over here.
Now, try not to be nervous, sir.
That was so beautiful.
Mrs. Bellows, will you
please stop crying?
[SOBBING] Oh...
Give me my handkerchief back.
All right, folks.
Let's continue.
Amanda. You're first.
Over here.
Oh, uh, Jeannie,
you come along with me.
Now, uh, let's see.
Here, Alfred?
Right there, yes.
You ready, dear?
Yes, I'm fine.
Mm-hm.
♪ Dum, dum, da-dum ♪
♪ Dum, dum, da-dum ♪
♪ Dum, dum, da-dum ♪
Where'd you go?
Jeannie's bottle.
Yeah, well, you should've
stayed there.
Boy, this is getting to be
weird around here.
Now, Jeannie.
Left?
Yes, left.
Left.
♪ Dum, dum, da-dum ♪
♪ Dum, dum, da-dum ♪
♪ Dum, da-dum ♪
My camera.
What happened to my camera?
BELLOWS: Shh.
What happened to my camera?
♪ Dum, dum, da-dum ♪
♪ Da, da-da ♪
Well, there you are, gentlemen.
♪ Dum, dum, da-dum ♪
♪ Dum, dum, da-dum ♪
Ooh!
♪ Dum... ♪
Oh.
What the...?
MAN:
What's going on here?
[PEOPLE CHATTERING]
MAN 2: What happened?
MAN 3: I don't know.
BELLOWS: Well, fellas, can't
you fix it while we...
Well, let's
start again. Now, wait...
I don't think it's gonna work.
I was never so frightened.
I just don't think
it's gonna work.
An anti-photo phaser
that destroys
cameras automatically?
[♪]
Oh, well. Uh,
after all, gentlemen, uh,
this room is normally used
for top-secret conferences.
You couldn't expect NASA to...
To have any unauthorized
photographs taken in here,
could you, general?
Uh, yes. Yes, of course.
We're very careful
about security here.
Why wasn't I told about this?
I'll square it with you later.
You'd better.
Yeah, that's just swell.
But how are we supposed to
take pictures of a wedding
when our cameras keep exploding?
A good question.
I'm glad you asked.
We don't have time
for this rehearsal.
I'm sorry. See, the wedding
is in three hours,
I have to do Jeannie's hair.
Darling, I'm sorry.
All right, Amanda.
Oh, uh, excuse me, gentlemen.
Did I miss anything?
Uh, yes. The anti-photo
phaser
kept, uh, exploding the cameras.
Will you go turn it off, please?
Yes, sir.
Oh, uh, where is it, sir?
Oh, Major Nelson will show you.
Oh. Well, Tony,
let's go and turn it off.
Now, don't worry, gentlemen.
NASA will make full restitution
for your cameras.
You can have all
the pictures you want.
Oh, uh... let's say
back here at 2:30.
Sounds good.
That's all right.
You know, general, really...
It seems to me that...
[DOORBELL RINGING]
[♪]
Oh, hello,
Mrs. Bellows.
I'd like to speak to
Jeannie in private.
Absolutely not.
Absolutely not.
Bad luck for the groom to see
the bride before the ceremony.
It might be worse luck
if he doesn't.
Fellas... She's gonna see you
at the altar, not before.
I'm very sorry.
Excuse me.
Ma'am.
Terribly sorry about that.
Oh.
[DOORBELL RINGING]
Oh, well, he doesn't
give up easily, does he?
Well, perhaps
if I explained to him.
No, you don't, my dear.
You are going to go
in the kitchen and wait,
and I will...
But...
Go ahead.
Major Nelson, really,
if you keep interrupting...
Oh. Whoa. Whoa.
What is it?
Oh, what is it? What is it?
Yeah.
Oh, well, uh...
Uh... Uh, Tony...
Tony's in the car.
He, uh...
I, uh... Oh, forgot
the studs for his shirt.
For heaven's sake,
come in and get them.
The way things are going,
I'll never get Jeannie ready.
Mrs. Bellows!
What?
Oh, Mrs. Bellows.
Uh, the, uh...
They're... They're
The studs are in the bedroom.
What, do you want me
to help you get them?
For heaven's sake.
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
Jeannie.
[♪]
That's a closet.
Yeah. That's a closet.
Too... Too small
for a bedroom. Ha-ha.
Huh. Studs weren't
there anyway.
Major, you have been in
this house a thousand times.
Now, I am losing my patience.
The bedroom is right behind us.
Fine, fine.
Both brown doors.
Oh. Don't worry,
Jeannie.
It was only...
It was only Major Healey.
See, your fiancé
forgot his studs.
Oh, listen, I haven't told you.
I-I... I want to thank you
very much
for letting me be
your matron of honor.
I've been a bridesmaid many
times, never a matron of honor.
I guess, always a bridesmaid,
never a matron of honor, huh?
[BOTH LAUGHING]
Oh, you know,
your fiancé is
really a wonderful man,
and I'm sure you're both going
to be very happy together.
But I tell you, I really
hate to say this...
Tell you what. I'm
gonna put this cushion here.
It'll be easier for me to work.
Would you sit
against the cushion?
Now, let's see what
we can do with that.
Well, getting back to Alfred,
I mean, there are worse things
than being stuffy
and conservative.
Yes, Mrs. Bellows.
That is true.
There must be something.
Some potion you can drink,
some incantation.
There is nothing.
Genies simply cannot
be photographed.
Oh, that's great. I'll explain
that to the photographers.
ROGER:
Oh, hi, Jeannie.
Hey, you look great. Little...
Little too much pancake.
Major Healey, she's
a little uptight right now.
Yes, she does look
a little stiff.
Oh, I found the, uh...
Found the studs.
They were in
the closet after all.
Master. I have it.
Watch.
Look.
[♪]
I don't get it.
I can make the dummy
look exactly like me.
It can be photographed.
You can marry it.
Forget it.
I can't marry a dummy.
It wouldn't be legal.
Oh. I did not think of that.
That's it.
I'll insist on no photographs
during the actual ceremony.
Oh, master, you are brilliant.
Jeannie, blink me out of here.
Yes, master.
[KISSES]
Well, uh...
nice talking to you.
Uh, come on, Roge.
We're gonna be late.
Yeah! Coming.
Got your studs.
That was nice.
The studs were in your closet.
[♪]
Uh, Major Healey.
Oh, Major Healey.
Listen.
How about getting me
a good place to stand?
I don't want to have to compete
with those national magazines.
Well, maybe I can find you
a place behind the flowers,
but, uh, no... No taking
pictures during the ceremony.
Oh, I don't even have my camera.
Yeah? Well, what's that?
Oh, this is my typewriter.
Well, no typing
during the ceremony.
[♪]
[WAGNER'S "BRIDAL CHORUS"
PLAYING]
I'll bet you're proud
of your son today,
Mr. and Mrs. Nelson.
Oh, yes.
Oh, Jeannie's a beautiful girl.
Poor child.
She's absolutely rigid.
Oh.
I am watching my own wedding,
and it is beautiful.
[SIGHS]
[♪]
[CROWD MURMURING]
Jeannie, what's the matter?
Ooh.
Relax, Jeannie.
It's going beautifully.
Join hands, please.
Dearly beloved,
we are gathered here
to join this man and
this woman in holy wedlock.
If there is anyone
who knows of any reason
this marriage
should not take place,
let him speak now
or forever hold his peace.
Uh, the ring.
Uh, the ring.
We don't have the ring.
We don't... Roger,
give me the ring. Uh...
[TONY CLEARS
THROAT]
[CROWD MURMURING]
What ring?
Ahem. Not that ring.
No. The...
[WHISPERS] Jeannie, Jeannie.
Get Jeannie.
J... What are you talking about?
Jeannie's right next to you.
Roger, Jeannie is
behind the flowers
in the back of the room.
Get her.
[CHUCKLES]
Yeah, yeah. Get her.
Yeah, I get it now.
I get it. Get her. Yeah.
I knew something would
happen. I Just knew it.
Oh. Oh.
I-It's all right.
It's all right.
[♪]
ROGER: Je... Jeannie. What's...?
Snap out of it.
Jeannie, J...
Jeannie. Psst.
[SNAPPING FINGERS] Jeannie,
will you sn... Snap out of it?
Yes?
This is the moment you've been
waiting for all your life.
Now, will you get up there?
Yes.
Yes.
Oh. I forgot.
Yeah.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh. We're ready now, Reverend.
All set.
[MOUTHING]
Oh. Thank you, dear.
I can hardly believe it.
Do you, Anthony Nelson,
take this woman to be
your lawfully wedded wife?
I do.
I do.
[♪]
[MOUTHING] Oh, yes.
I do.
I do.
Do you promise to be true
and a faithful husband,
to care for her
in sickness and in health,
adversity and prosperity,
and forsaking all others,
keep yourself only for her
as long as you live?
I do.
Do you, Jeannie,
take this man to be
your lawfully wedded husband?
Oh. I do.
[♪]
[MOUTHING]
Oh, yes. Of course I do.
I do, I do.
REVEREND: Do you promise to
be a true and faithful wife?
[MOUTHING] I do.
To care for him in sickness
and in health,
prosperity and adversity,
and forsaking all others,
keep yourself only for him
as long as you live?
Oh, yes, I do.
You may place the ring
on her finger.
[♪]
[MOUTHING] Oh.
Oh.
REVEREND: Then by the power vested
in me by the laws of this state,
I now pronounce you
man and wife.
[SNIFFLES] Oh.
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
You may kiss the bride.
[♪]
[UPBEAT WEDDING MARCH PLAYING]
There's a photographer
taking pictures.
Oh. How nice.
[BOTH GIGGLING]
[MENDELSSOHN'S
"WEDDING MARCH" PLAYING]
[CROWD MURMURING]
[♪]
[JEANNIE GIGGLING]
Ha.
Oh, master.
I mean, husband.
It is too funny.
[GIGGLES]
Yes. Heh.
It wouldn't be
if Dr. Bellows had seen it.
Hm.
[LAUGHS]
[♪]
Alfred, what is that?
What is that?
I thought we were gonna see
Major Nelson's wedding.
What is that?
It's the most peculiar...
I... I don't understand it.
I had that film
developed myself.
Let me see. Major Nelson
and Major Healey came by,
we talked for
a few minutes, and then...
You talked for a few
minutes, and then
you took the wrong film home.
Oh, Alfred, you're brilliant.
Just brilliant.
I'm going to bed.
I am exhausted.
I have had a day.
But, it couldn't have been.
I'll be right in.
Now, let me see.
REVEREND:
You may kiss the bride.
There's a photographer
taking pictures.
JEANNIE:
Oh, how nice.
Yeah. Isn't it?
I... I guess we didn't get
married after all.
I mean, there's nobody there.
Oh, yes we did. And I have
the ring to prove it.
[♪]
[♪]
Oh, master.
I cannot believe
that we are really
going to be married.
It is like a dream.
No, it's not a dream, Jeannie.
It's really happening.
Mm-hm.
Would you do something for me?
Yeah, sure. What?
Would you say
"Mrs. Anthony Nelson"?
Mrs. Anthony Nelson.
Ooh.
[GIGGLES]
Oh, that is so beautiful
I cannot stand it.
Yeah. Hey, listen,
you gotta change.
We don't wanna be late
for the rehearsal.
Oh. Oh. Ah.
Are you all right?
I... I will hurry.
[♪]
BELLOWS:
Did you order any more azaleas?
[PEOPLE CHATTERING]
MAN:
Please. Please, everybody.
We must get started
with this rehearsal.
Now, I've got a baptism at 11
and a funeral at noon.
Everything's gonna be
all right, Reverend.
Well, now, is everybody here?
Well...
The bride,
the groom, the best man...
Oh. Where is
Major Healey, Anthony?
Well, he knew this thing
was gonna be at 10:00.
Well, uh, keep calm,
everyone. Don't worry.
I'll find him. Oh, excuse me.
Matron of honor?
Oh yes, that's me. I'm here.
The father of the bride?
Oh, uh, Dr. Bellows
is gonna give
the bride away, sir.
Well, is he here then?
Oh, well, he just went
to get the best man.
Major Nelson, babies get cold
if they're kept waiting.
All national magazines, major?
Well, that's marvelous.
We're all here now, Reverend.
Finally. Now, then,
Major Healey is the best man.
Uh, Major Healey.
I can't figure this out.
You know, I took this picture
about an hour ago.
Yeah.
Well, it's supposed to be
of the bride and groom,
but, uh...
Well, the bride didn't come out.
Uh, let me see that.
That's peculiar.
We... The purse is there,
but no Jeannie.
Uh, may I see that, sir?
Oh, yes.
JEANNIE [QUIETLY]:
Genies cannot be photographed.
[LAUGHING] Well...
Major Nelson.
What are you doing?
It wasn't a very
good liking, sir.
[♪]
[♪]
No pictures? What are you
gonna show your grandchildren?
Shh. Roger.
She doesn't photograph.
She doesn't photograph?
You mean she's not photogenic?
That's a heck of a thing
to say at your wedding.
No. She just
doesn't come out.
You saw that picture.
That is right, Major Healey.
It is one of the few
disadvantages of being a genie.
Oh, what am I gonna tell
the reporters and photographers?
You're not telling 'em.
I'm gonna tell 'em.
No photographers and that's it.
Now, let's get
this rehearsal over with.
Oh. Hi.
Uh, Major Healey.
No pictures, no pictures.
No pictures?
Well, you can take one of me
later in my uniform.
[STAMMERS]
[♪]
And now, folks,
if I may have your...
Dr. Bellows.
Why are you shouting?
We're the only ones here.
Oh, yes.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Uh, the Reverend Weems, uh,
asked me to tell you
that he had to leave
to perform the baptism.
And he asked me, uh, to
take over the rehearsal.
Uh, now. Amanda,
you just stand
right where you are.
'Course I'll stay right here.
This is where
he told me to stand.
Amanda, what's the matter?
[SNIFFLES]
Nothing's the matter with me?
I always cry at weddings.
But this isn't the wedding.
It's only a rehearsal.
May... Maybe she's
rehearsing her crying.
But, it's rather ridiculous...
Well, there you are.
You can have all the rehearsal
shots you could want.
Oh, uh... Uh, sir.
The photographers...
Hold it just like that.
[SCREAMING]
Major Nelson. It's a
camera, not a shotgun.
These gentlemen are from
the national magazines.
No, no, no.
Why can't we have a little...?
Please, no one...
[SCREAMS]
Uh. Could I have that, please?
Thank you.
Can I speak to you, sir?
No, no. No... No photograph.
But I insist on it.
Yes.
Sir. Uh, uh...
No photographers, please.
Please, no photographers.
We... We made an agreement.
Major Nelson, Jeannie,
you're both obviously upset.
Now, l-let's have it.
It's the photographers, sir.
We don't want any.
We don't want any pictures
taken at all.
No. That is right,
general. I...
I-I am camera shy.
Yeah.
Oh, Jeannie, I... I understand
how you feel. Believe me.
You'd like a simple,
intimate wedding.
But an astronaut
is a public figure,
and the press is entitled
to cover this marriage.
Sir, I'm afraid
I'm gonna have to insist.
It's a personal matter.
Major. It's out of
my hands.
Major Healey cleared
these people with the Pentagon,
and they'd scream blue murder
if I tried to throw them out.
I'm sorry, but you'll have to
make the best of it.
Oh, sorry.
No pictures.
[LAUGHS]
Oh, master, what
are we going to do?
I'd like to elope.
That is an excellent idea.
Honey, wait a minute.
[CHATTER]
[♪]
Uh. Jeannie.
What are you doing?
We're eloping, master,
just as you said.
It will only take me
a minute to pack.
Wait a minute. I said
I might like to elope.
I... I... We can't.
It's too late.
But everyone is so busy.
[SOBBING] And they
are all nervous.
And you're worried
about photographers.
And this is all wrong.
Hey, hey. Wait.
Wait a minute. No sense
in crying about it. Come here.
What's all this?
You don't have to cry.
Yes, I do.
Oh, look, I know
exactly how you feel.
You do?
Of course I do.
Uh, you've got what they call,
um, pre-wedding jitters.
That's all. Ev...
It's indigenous to brides.
It's kind of a tradition.
But...
I wanted our wedding to be
so... beautiful...
and simple.
Beautiful? Oh, sure.
But simple, darling, never.
You see, the trouble
with weddings is,
the... The bride
and groom don't count.
Well... then it's
why we should elope.
So we can go someplace
where we can be alone.
Aw. We're gonna have the rest
of our lives alone together.
Now, let's just figure today,
that's for everybody else.
All our friends and relations
will come and wish us luck.
Give us their congratulations
and their confidence.
And after all, how would Roger,
and Dr. and Mrs. Bellows feel
if we just ran off?
[♪]
[GASPS]
Oh, that is exactly
what we have done.
They must be looking
all over for us.
Let 'em look a little longer.
It won't hurt 'em.
This is much more
important. You see,
I don't care where I marry you.
A parachute.
Madison Square Garden.
Or Westminster Abby.
Because I love you.
You believe that?
Oh, yes, master, I do.
Mm. Don't call me master.
Call me Tony.
Yes, An... Anthony.
I... I do.
All right. You remember that
"I do" for the ceremony.
It'll really come in handy.
Shall we get on
with the wedding?
[GIDDILY]
Oh, yes. Darling, yes.
Yes.
[CHUCKLES]
You know, you were right.
It could've been a lot worse.
Yeah? How?
Well...
my mother could've
decided to come.
Oh.
Master.
What?
What about the photographers?
You'll just have to
blink the cameras.
Blink the cameras.
I can't find them anywhere.
We'll have to go along
without them.
Amanda, can't you look over...
Sir, uh, can we get along
with the rehearsal?
Uh, Jeannie's...
Oh, there you are.
Yes. I think we'd try
to muddle our way through.
Major Nelson, would you
kindly go over there
and stand next to Major Healey.
Uh... Uh, Jeannie,
you and I have to march down
the center aisle over here.
Now, try not to be nervous, sir.
That was so beautiful.
Mrs. Bellows, will you
please stop crying?
[SOBBING] Oh...
Give me my handkerchief back.
All right, folks.
Let's continue.
Amanda. You're first.
Over here.
Oh, uh, Jeannie,
you come along with me.
Now, uh, let's see.
Here, Alfred?
Right there, yes.
You ready, dear?
Yes, I'm fine.
Mm-hm.
♪ Dum, dum, da-dum ♪
♪ Dum, dum, da-dum ♪
♪ Dum, dum, da-dum ♪
Where'd you go?
Jeannie's bottle.
Yeah, well, you should've
stayed there.
Boy, this is getting to be
weird around here.
Now, Jeannie.
Left?
Yes, left.
Left.
♪ Dum, dum, da-dum ♪
♪ Dum, dum, da-dum ♪
♪ Dum, da-dum ♪
My camera.
What happened to my camera?
BELLOWS: Shh.
What happened to my camera?
♪ Dum, dum, da-dum ♪
♪ Da, da-da ♪
Well, there you are, gentlemen.
♪ Dum, dum, da-dum ♪
♪ Dum, dum, da-dum ♪
Ooh!
♪ Dum... ♪
Oh.
What the...?
MAN:
What's going on here?
[PEOPLE CHATTERING]
MAN 2: What happened?
MAN 3: I don't know.
BELLOWS: Well, fellas, can't
you fix it while we...
Well, let's
start again. Now, wait...
I don't think it's gonna work.
I was never so frightened.
I just don't think
it's gonna work.
An anti-photo phaser
that destroys
cameras automatically?
[♪]
Oh, well. Uh,
after all, gentlemen, uh,
this room is normally used
for top-secret conferences.
You couldn't expect NASA to...
To have any unauthorized
photographs taken in here,
could you, general?
Uh, yes. Yes, of course.
We're very careful
about security here.
Why wasn't I told about this?
I'll square it with you later.
You'd better.
Yeah, that's just swell.
But how are we supposed to
take pictures of a wedding
when our cameras keep exploding?
A good question.
I'm glad you asked.
We don't have time
for this rehearsal.
I'm sorry. See, the wedding
is in three hours,
I have to do Jeannie's hair.
Darling, I'm sorry.
All right, Amanda.
Oh, uh, excuse me, gentlemen.
Did I miss anything?
Uh, yes. The anti-photo
phaser
kept, uh, exploding the cameras.
Will you go turn it off, please?
Yes, sir.
Oh, uh, where is it, sir?
Oh, Major Nelson will show you.
Oh. Well, Tony,
let's go and turn it off.
Now, don't worry, gentlemen.
NASA will make full restitution
for your cameras.
You can have all
the pictures you want.
Oh, uh... let's say
back here at 2:30.
Sounds good.
That's all right.
You know, general, really...
It seems to me that...
[DOORBELL RINGING]
[♪]
Oh, hello,
Mrs. Bellows.
I'd like to speak to
Jeannie in private.
Absolutely not.
Absolutely not.
Bad luck for the groom to see
the bride before the ceremony.
It might be worse luck
if he doesn't.
Fellas... She's gonna see you
at the altar, not before.
I'm very sorry.
Excuse me.
Ma'am.
Terribly sorry about that.
Oh.
[DOORBELL RINGING]
Oh, well, he doesn't
give up easily, does he?
Well, perhaps
if I explained to him.
No, you don't, my dear.
You are going to go
in the kitchen and wait,
and I will...
But...
Go ahead.
Major Nelson, really,
if you keep interrupting...
Oh. Whoa. Whoa.
What is it?
Oh, what is it? What is it?
Yeah.
Oh, well, uh...
Uh... Uh, Tony...
Tony's in the car.
He, uh...
I, uh... Oh, forgot
the studs for his shirt.
For heaven's sake,
come in and get them.
The way things are going,
I'll never get Jeannie ready.
Mrs. Bellows!
What?
Oh, Mrs. Bellows.
Uh, the, uh...
They're... They're
The studs are in the bedroom.
What, do you want me
to help you get them?
For heaven's sake.
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
Jeannie.
[♪]
That's a closet.
Yeah. That's a closet.
Too... Too small
for a bedroom. Ha-ha.
Huh. Studs weren't
there anyway.
Major, you have been in
this house a thousand times.
Now, I am losing my patience.
The bedroom is right behind us.
Fine, fine.
Both brown doors.
Oh. Don't worry,
Jeannie.
It was only...
It was only Major Healey.
See, your fiancé
forgot his studs.
Oh, listen, I haven't told you.
I-I... I want to thank you
very much
for letting me be
your matron of honor.
I've been a bridesmaid many
times, never a matron of honor.
I guess, always a bridesmaid,
never a matron of honor, huh?
[BOTH LAUGHING]
Oh, you know,
your fiancé is
really a wonderful man,
and I'm sure you're both going
to be very happy together.
But I tell you, I really
hate to say this...
Tell you what. I'm
gonna put this cushion here.
It'll be easier for me to work.
Would you sit
against the cushion?
Now, let's see what
we can do with that.
Well, getting back to Alfred,
I mean, there are worse things
than being stuffy
and conservative.
Yes, Mrs. Bellows.
That is true.
There must be something.
Some potion you can drink,
some incantation.
There is nothing.
Genies simply cannot
be photographed.
Oh, that's great. I'll explain
that to the photographers.
ROGER:
Oh, hi, Jeannie.
Hey, you look great. Little...
Little too much pancake.
Major Healey, she's
a little uptight right now.
Yes, she does look
a little stiff.
Oh, I found the, uh...
Found the studs.
They were in
the closet after all.
Master. I have it.
Watch.
Look.
[♪]
I don't get it.
I can make the dummy
look exactly like me.
It can be photographed.
You can marry it.
Forget it.
I can't marry a dummy.
It wouldn't be legal.
Oh. I did not think of that.
That's it.
I'll insist on no photographs
during the actual ceremony.
Oh, master, you are brilliant.
Jeannie, blink me out of here.
Yes, master.
[KISSES]
Well, uh...
nice talking to you.
Uh, come on, Roge.
We're gonna be late.
Yeah! Coming.
Got your studs.
That was nice.
The studs were in your closet.
[♪]
Uh, Major Healey.
Oh, Major Healey.
Listen.
How about getting me
a good place to stand?
I don't want to have to compete
with those national magazines.
Well, maybe I can find you
a place behind the flowers,
but, uh, no... No taking
pictures during the ceremony.
Oh, I don't even have my camera.
Yeah? Well, what's that?
Oh, this is my typewriter.
Well, no typing
during the ceremony.
[♪]
[WAGNER'S "BRIDAL CHORUS"
PLAYING]
I'll bet you're proud
of your son today,
Mr. and Mrs. Nelson.
Oh, yes.
Oh, Jeannie's a beautiful girl.
Poor child.
She's absolutely rigid.
Oh.
I am watching my own wedding,
and it is beautiful.
[SIGHS]
[♪]
[CROWD MURMURING]
Jeannie, what's the matter?
Ooh.
Relax, Jeannie.
It's going beautifully.
Join hands, please.
Dearly beloved,
we are gathered here
to join this man and
this woman in holy wedlock.
If there is anyone
who knows of any reason
this marriage
should not take place,
let him speak now
or forever hold his peace.
Uh, the ring.
Uh, the ring.
We don't have the ring.
We don't... Roger,
give me the ring. Uh...
[TONY CLEARS
THROAT]
[CROWD MURMURING]
What ring?
Ahem. Not that ring.
No. The...
[WHISPERS] Jeannie, Jeannie.
Get Jeannie.
J... What are you talking about?
Jeannie's right next to you.
Roger, Jeannie is
behind the flowers
in the back of the room.
Get her.
[CHUCKLES]
Yeah, yeah. Get her.
Yeah, I get it now.
I get it. Get her. Yeah.
I knew something would
happen. I Just knew it.
Oh. Oh.
I-It's all right.
It's all right.
[♪]
ROGER: Je... Jeannie. What's...?
Snap out of it.
Jeannie, J...
Jeannie. Psst.
[SNAPPING FINGERS] Jeannie,
will you sn... Snap out of it?
Yes?
This is the moment you've been
waiting for all your life.
Now, will you get up there?
Yes.
Yes.
Oh. I forgot.
Yeah.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh. We're ready now, Reverend.
All set.
[MOUTHING]
Oh. Thank you, dear.
I can hardly believe it.
Do you, Anthony Nelson,
take this woman to be
your lawfully wedded wife?
I do.
I do.
[♪]
[MOUTHING] Oh, yes.
I do.
I do.
Do you promise to be true
and a faithful husband,
to care for her
in sickness and in health,
adversity and prosperity,
and forsaking all others,
keep yourself only for her
as long as you live?
I do.
Do you, Jeannie,
take this man to be
your lawfully wedded husband?
Oh. I do.
[♪]
[MOUTHING]
Oh, yes. Of course I do.
I do, I do.
REVEREND: Do you promise to
be a true and faithful wife?
[MOUTHING] I do.
To care for him in sickness
and in health,
prosperity and adversity,
and forsaking all others,
keep yourself only for him
as long as you live?
Oh, yes, I do.
You may place the ring
on her finger.
[♪]
[MOUTHING] Oh.
Oh.
REVEREND: Then by the power vested
in me by the laws of this state,
I now pronounce you
man and wife.
[SNIFFLES] Oh.
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
You may kiss the bride.
[♪]
[UPBEAT WEDDING MARCH PLAYING]
There's a photographer
taking pictures.
Oh. How nice.
[BOTH GIGGLING]
[MENDELSSOHN'S
"WEDDING MARCH" PLAYING]
[CROWD MURMURING]
[♪]
[JEANNIE GIGGLING]
Ha.
Oh, master.
I mean, husband.
It is too funny.
[GIGGLES]
Yes. Heh.
It wouldn't be
if Dr. Bellows had seen it.
Hm.
[LAUGHS]
[♪]
Alfred, what is that?
What is that?
I thought we were gonna see
Major Nelson's wedding.
What is that?
It's the most peculiar...
I... I don't understand it.
I had that film
developed myself.
Let me see. Major Nelson
and Major Healey came by,
we talked for
a few minutes, and then...
You talked for a few
minutes, and then
you took the wrong film home.
Oh, Alfred, you're brilliant.
Just brilliant.
I'm going to bed.
I am exhausted.
I have had a day.
But, it couldn't have been.
I'll be right in.
Now, let me see.
REVEREND:
You may kiss the bride.
There's a photographer
taking pictures.
JEANNIE:
Oh, how nice.
Yeah. Isn't it?
I... I guess we didn't get
married after all.
I mean, there's nobody there.
Oh, yes we did. And I have
the ring to prove it.
[♪]
[♪]