Hogan's Heroes (1965–1971): Season 4, Episode 17 - Operation Hannibal - full transcript

Two years' work, Captain.

Complete in every detail.

I'm proud of it.

A brilliant conception
Herr General,

if I may say so.

Operation Hannibal
assures us ultimate victory

no matter what our
temporary reverses may be.

The Fuhrer will be pleased.

You may tell Hitler I
will bring him the plans

at Bergtesgaden, at his orders.

Coffee, Father? Captain?



Ah! Thank you, my dear.

Danke, Fraulein.

Father.

Now, please,
don't work too hard.

Oh...

My daughter is really in command

of this post, Captain.

So I see.

Your boys are doing a good job.

Yeah, we want your railroads

to look good, Schultz,

when our planes bomb them.

Jolly joker, sir.

Hey, we got company.



Where? What? Who?

The best kind, too.

Back, back, back, back, back!

Please, Fraulein!

It is verboten.

You cannot give the
prisoners anything.

Come on, Schultz, have a heart.

Please, Colonel
Hogan, I have my orders.

It is not allowed for civilians

to associate with prisoners.

Sergeant, I am not
exactly a civilian.

My father is General Von Behler.

General Von Behler?

Oh, that's different.

But it is still the
same, please.

Oh, come on, Schultz,
break the rules.

And Commandant Klink
is going to break me.

With all respect...

I cannot let them
have anything...

but it is not against the rules

to feed the brave,
handsome soldiers

of the Third Reich.

There is enough
for you and for them.

You've never seen him eat.

He's one of the great
vacuum cleaners of our time.

The sandwiches are very fresh.

I just made them,
especially the cheese.

A-ha! Oh...

You disobeyed orders.

You are under arrest!

Give me that!

Come on, Schultz.

What are you
getting so GI about?

I promise you,
there will be trouble.

What can they do,
bloody court-martial him?

It's possible.

Court-martial? Forget it.

There'll never be a trial.

Impossible.

Soon as our backs are
turned, he'll eat the evidence.

And, at approximately 2:30

on the afternoon of the 19th,

while doing roadwork, the
prisoner, Corporal LeBeau,

disobeying the orders
of Sergeant Schultz,

snatched a cheese sandwich
from Fraulein Von Behler.

Thank you, Frau Hilda.

Sergeant Schultz, is
that charge correct?

Yes, Herr Kommandant,

except for one very
important detail...

The sandwich was
on pumpernickel bread.

Toasted or untoasted?

We will get to that in due time.

Now, Corporal LeBeau,

you have heard the
charge against you.

How do you plead?

Guilty or not guilty?

Is there anything
else I could plead?

He pleads not guilty.

Let him speak for himself.

He's to refrain from answering

on grounds it may
incriminate him.

But that's American law.

Get used to it,
Colonel, get used to it.

So he is guilty.

Oh, why don't
you just forget it?

It's such small potatoes.

No, no, no!

It was a cheese sandwich.

Based on this evidence alone,
I could sentence the prisoner...

but I believe in fair play.

I want to hear all
the facts in your favor.

And then you'll sentence him.

Exactly.

Corporal LeBeau,
you can rely on me

to give you every advantage.

Really? I'm all choked up.

Don't give him any ideas.

Silence!

Sergeant Schultz, the evidence.

Let the record show

we're now examining
the evidence.

Let the record also show
you're delaying the war.

Don't put that down.

Colonel Hogan, unwrap it.

A miracle!

Schultz has had it 24
hours and didn't nibble.

It wasn't easy, Colonel.

Exhibit "A" for
the Third Reich...

One cheese sandwich

on pumpernickel with butter.

I like mine with
a little mustard.

Quiet. This sandwich
has not been touched.

I told you, not guilty.

According to the statement
of a reliable witness,

this prisoner has
disobeyed a direct order.

He was pushed from behind,

lost his balance, reached out

and accidentally
grabbed the sandwich.

Do you expect
me to believe that?

That's not bad.

Now, based on
the evidence today,

I find the prisoner,
Corporal LeBeau, guilty,

and sentence him to
five days in the cooler.

He is to be on full rations,

but he must be
confined for five days.

That is the judgment
of this court-martial.

I object! And so do I!

You said it was
going to be a fair trial.

You're prosecutor,
judge and jury.

Is that fair?

It is to me.

I've never lost a case yet.

Schultz!

Easy, Carter.

Don't burn it.

Looks like it was
done with lemon juice.

Boy! Lemons are
expensive in the winter.

Yeah, well, a general's daughter

can afford them. Yeah, I know,

but I'll bet you can
go in town right now,

and you could try to buy lemons,

and I don't know
what it would cost you,

but it would cost
a... Oh, shut up.

All right, come on.

It would cost a
lot. Sure, it would.

You can't even
find them... Shut up.

Here it is, sir.

"Have vital information.
Urgent. Make contact quickly.

"Recognition code:
'I am the Phoenix.'

Answer: 'I rise in flames.'"

Vital information? Mm-hmm.

Her father's on
Hitler's planning staff.

The general's
daughter selling him out.

A man never knows, does he?

She's been feeding
London intelligence

for better than a year...

Always very careful...
High-grade stuff...

But nothing that
could hurt her father.

Anti-Nazi?

There are a few.

A good-looking bird as well.

How do we make the contact?

Sir, I'd like to volunteer
for this mission.

I appreciate that, Newkirk,

but I'd better handle
this one myself.

Yeah, like I said,

she's a good-looking
bird as well.

Hedy Von Behler is a
very important agent.

She needs to be
handled carefully...

by an officer.

Well, I'd do that.

And that's what the
Colonel's afraid of.

Oh, shut up and do
your laundry. Oh, yeah?

Well, that's the last secret
ironing I'll ever do for you.

All right, knock it off.

I need an officer's uniform,

I.D. cards, ration
books... The works.

Luftwaffe?

Yeah, but what unit?

If I meet the general,
he might ask questions,

might even check on me.

I would. I know.

Sir, let me go over there.

I'll get in quickly,
make no noise at all,

and I'll tell her
I'm an officer.

Heck, who'd believe
that, even in wartime?

Newkirk, you're a hard sell.

Blimey! I'm being attacked

on two bloody fronts here.

Hey, why don't you just
say you're Colonel Klink?

No, not Klink.

What about Gruber?

Gruber. Yeah.

He's still on leave.

It'd be marvelous.

You know as much about
this rat hole as he does.

What if the general
calls Klink about Gruber?

Newkirk, set up a switchboard.

Monitor incoming phone calls.

You know what to do.

Right, sir.

Okay, that's it.

I'll go out tomorrow night.

Achtung!

Raus!

Hey, that's marvelous, sir.

Perfect Nazi all the way.

Yeah. You scared me.

Fine way to talk to your
commanding officer.

Captain Gruber?

Can't seem to recall the name.

Perhaps it's my
father you wish to see.

You, definitely.

"I am the Phoenix."

"I rise in flames."

I saw you on the road.

You make a very good sandwich.

Ah! We have a visitor.

I thought I knew all
your young men, Hedy.

Permit me, Herr General.

Felix Gruber,
Adjutant, Stalag 13.

Captain Gruber.

Captain Gruber and I met

a few months ago, Father.

At a party for Winter
Relief in Hammelburg.

I see.

Stalag 13?

Tell me, is that jackass
Klink still in command?

Oh, you know the colonel, sir?

I do indeed.

Very fine officer.

It's a great privilege
to serve under him.

I admire a man who
defends his superiors.

That's not easy with Klink.

Well, I...

I leave you to my
commanding officer.

Thank you, sir.

A great honor to meet you.

Be careful of him, my dear.

I can see he's a charmer.

It will be better
if we talk here.

Even better if we
don't get frostbite.

Oh, it is cold.

Oh, here.

Captain Gruber to the rescue.

Thank you.

Bitte.

You've been a
prisoner a long time.

Whatever gave you that idea?

Please... listen.

The war has been
going badly for us.

Hitler can keep the truth

from the people,

even some of the military men,

but not from my father.

If these reverses continue,

Germany could lose.

And that's a new idea?

No. There are some
of us in Germany

who would prefer to lose
and be finished with Hitler

than win and have to
continue to live under him.

You're the ones
that put him there.

He didn't get the job
by answering a want ad.

Yes, but we must
not let him go on.

Hitler has ordered my father

to develop a plan of
organized guerrilla warfare.

That could extend
the war for years.

Exactly.

Operation Hannibal...
That's its code name...

Could ruin any chance we have

for a negotiated peace.

That's my father's study.

Operation Hannibal
plans are there

in the safe.

Stalag 13, bitte.

Stalag 13.

Guten Abend. Heil Hitler.

I wish to speak
with Colonel Klink.

He cannot be disturbed.

This is General Von Behler.

Oh, I'll disturb
him, Herr General.

Believe me, I'll
really disturb him.

Ah, General Von Behler.

What a great pleasure
to hear from you, sir.

As I had a moment,
I thought I'd call you.

How are things going?

Getting along
fine, Herr General.

Fighting the war
to our full capacity.

Well, I suppose we
have a chance anyway.

Tell me, how is that
young man, your adjutant...?

I forget his name.

Captain Gruber?

He's on leave at the moment.

Oh. Gone home, I suppose?

Actually, I'm not sure.

I've heard rumors he has a
lady friend near Hammelburg,

but one never knows.

Oh, well, it's not important.

Captain Gruber is a fine,
dedicated young Nazi officer:

heart of gold, nerves of
steel, muscles of iron...

I'm not writing his biography.

I asked a simple question.

Thank you. Good night.

He'll be going to bed now.

Pleasant dreams.

Give him an hour,
and I'll try for the plans.

What about the combination?

I have it...

but first you must
agree to do it my way.

Your way?

You do need the combination.

All right, you call the shots.

You must not remove the plans.

Photograph them.

On Saturday, my
father is giving a party

for a friend of his.

There will be people
in the house, strangers.

You could move around freely

without attracting
any attention.

That is when it must be done.

All right, makes sense.

Saturday it is.

In all fairness,

I must warn you...

I will protect my
father at any cost.

If you or your men are caught,

I will order the
guards to shoot.

Do we understand each other?

I get the general idea.

And you agree to my conditions?

Mm-hmm. At least I know
where I stand... or die.

Now, this is the main hall.

This is where the
party's going to be.

This is the stairway
leading to the upper floors.

This is the second floor,
and this is the general's study.

These are the French doors
opening out to the balcony.

That's how you and
LeBeau are going to get in.

And how do we get out, sir?

Carried by two Krauts

with your arms
folded over your chest.

Thank you, Mary Sunshine.

You get out the same way.

The balcony to the terrace
below, back to the car.

We have to climb to the balcony

from here,
Colonel? That's right.

LeBeau gets out of
the cooler tomorrow.

I want you to practice climbing.

I'll give you the
approximate height.

I didn't do very well
in the obstacle course

in basic training, Colonel.

This is your chance
to make a comeback.

Newkirk. Sir?

I want you to stay
on the switchboard.

In case of a rumble,

you may be able to confuse 'em,

and have the darkroom
ready for fast action.

Will do, sir.

All right, I'm not
going to give you

a song and dance how
important this job is.

Operation Hannibal

could extend the
war indefinitely.

We could be in this
dump till we're old men.

That's it, unless I've
forgotten something.

What do we do about the noise

when we blow the safe?

You won't have to blow it.

Hedy gave me the combination.

I want you to
memorize it and eat it.

Memorize it first.

Get in your room.

All right, cockroach, come out.

Voila, le monde!

Sorry you had to take the rap.

Oh, it was nothing, mon Colonel.

I did the time

standing on my head, pal.

Now I need a nice shower

and a sleep in a
real bed for two days.

I hate to tell you this,

but I have another job for you.

Pour moi? Again?

What am I around
here, a one-man army?

A small, delicate,
efficient little army, yes.

Tell me, what's the news
from Berchtesgarden?

The Fuhrer wishes

to meet with you next week.

Ah, wonderful job, my dear.

Thank you, Father.

What's the situation?

A guard has been posted outside

patrolling the terrace,

and there's the
usual one upstairs

guarding my father's room.

No wonder Germany's
losing the war.

Nobody's at the front.

They're all here on guard duty.

All right, it's time.

Where are you going?

With you, Herr Kommandant.

I am your aide.

I walk two steps behind you

and to your left.

Mm-hmm, until you
get to the buffet table,

then I lose you.

Now, stay in the car
and don't fall asleep.

But, Herr Kommandant,
when I follow you,

and they see that
you have an aide,

they will have much
more respect for you.

Respect or sympathy?

Stay here.

I brought you some dinner.

Oh, danke, Fraulein Hedy.

I'll put it over here.

Danke schon.

Mm.

Father, let me do that.

People have been asking for you.

Yes, yes, I know.

I had to have a smoke.

After all, they did
come to see you.

Yes, yes, yes.

Now come along, darling.

Do your duty.

Jawohl, Herr Sergeant.

Oh, allow me.

May I please help you?

Thank you so much.

Isn't it a perfectly
lovely party?

Excuse me.

I think there's someone
there that I know.

Ooh, ooh, General Von Behler,

what a great pleasure
to see you again, sir.

Yes, Herr Colonel...

Klink, Klink, Wilhelm Klink.

Yes, of course. My daughter.

Fraulein, you are as beautiful

as your illustrious
father is talented.

I need a drink.

What are you doing
standing here drinking wine

instead of walking your post?!

Face me when I talk to you!

Jawohl, Herr Captain.

Do you know what the penalty is

for leaving your post?

Jawohl, Herr Captain.

I could have you
court-martialed for this.

General Von Behler
must be protected.

It's your duty.

Jawohl, Herr Captain.

I'll overlook it this time.

I don't want to
embarrass the general.

Return to your post. Carry on.

Jawohl.

What's that?

Danke, Herr Captain.

That's better.

Any trouble with the pictures?

Everything's copacetic, Colonel.

Okay, no sweat.

Right, back to camp.

Colonel Hogan.

The film will be on its
way to London tomorrow.

Oh, we were lucky.

Yeah, thanks.

Will we be seeing
each other again?

I don't know.

I can't go on being
Captain Gruber.

My mother would
never understand.

Oh, excuse me.

Hey, Colonel,

we'd better haul
freight out of here.

Is it possible to
send an American

to the eastern front?

Ah, Gruber, you sly dog...

Telling me you went
to Berlin on your leave.

But I did, Colonel.

I saw you at General
Von Behler's party

with Fraulein Hedy
in the parking lot.

Colonel, I give you my word.

I suppose it's a
little bit too cold

for that kind of work,

but I guess Fraulein
Hedy kept you warm.

Excuse me, Commandant.

Requisition for
medical supplies.

At this hour?

I like to get an early start.

Just a minute, Hogan.

Now, Gruber, I know you
want to be discreet about this...

After all, it is a
general's daughter...

But it would be
nice occasionally

when you go visiting

to bring along your
favorite commander, hmm?

Sir, I don't know the general

or his daughter.

All right, all right, we'll
talk about it tomorrow.

Dismissed. Good-bye.

There goes a man I've
helped in every way.

I would think he could
show a little bit of gratitude.

All I ask for is
that he include me

in some of his social activities

with the general.

You never know about
some people, do you, sir?

True. Very true.

For example, Hogan,
you've been here two years.

Do I actually know you?

Me? What's there to know?

I mean, I have no secrets.

Really?

The minute I hear a
secret, I pass it along.