Hogan's Heroes (1965–1971): Season 3, Episode 15 - The Hostage - full transcript

Wow, so that's what
they're building, Colonel.

Yep, that's it.

But why just a few hundred
yards outside of the camp?

It's easy. The Germans
figure it won't be bombed there.

Yeah. No, not from the
air, they're right there.

All we need is a
long match, really.

What could be nicer to blow
up than a rocket fuel depot?

It may not be that easy.

They'll have
guards, lots of them.

They may even use prison guards.

Oh, that's gonna be rough, sir.



I mean, getting past
a man like Schultz?

Ooh, almost impossible.

How are we going
to handle it, Colonel?

I don't know yet.
It's a little soon.

As a personal favor, Colonel,

could we blow it
on Bastille Day?

You know, you can say
what you like about the Nazis,

but anybody that'd put a
rocket fuel depot in our reach

can't be all bad.

But, General von Heiner,

you want to make
it easy for them

to blow up the
rocket fuel depot?

No.

Of course not. Right, General.



I want it to appear easy.

Aha.

That's very clever,
General von Heiner.

Make it appear easy.

We're setting a trap, Klink.

Do you know why?

Of course, sir. Why?

Because there's been much
too much sabotage in this area.

Because they've been
blowing up everything.

And because you
have been sitting

right in the middle of it,
Klink, and doing nothing.

If I could just
point out, sir...

Absolutely nothing.

Yes, sir, absolutely nothing.

Berlin has been forced

to send someone with
brains into this situation.

A clever mind heads this
band of saboteurs, Klink.

It'll take one far more
clever to trap them. You see?

Oh, my compliments to
Berlin for their choice, sir.

We will be at Stalag 13
tomorrow to review your guards.

Have them ready.

Extreme readiness,
extreme readiness.

The depot will be
ready in three days.

After the trap is
baited, we wait...

for the fox.

He has no chance, sir.

No chance at all.

Dismissed, Klink.

Thank you, General von Heiner.

One moment.

Uh, yes, Frau von Heiner?

Fraulein, and not von Heiner.

Of course, of course, of course.

Tell me...

at, uh, Stalag 13,

you are still holding
a, uh, Colonel Hogan?

Oh, yes. Colonel Hogan, he is

the senior officer of
the prisoners of war.

Mm-hmm.

You know this
Colonel Hogan, Marya?

But of course.

Then I'm jealous.

Oh... But not in the
way I know you, Bobo.

Not in the way I know you.

Well, until tomorrow.

Now, General von Heiner,

you will notice our
perfect security.

You take away their
hope for escape,

you take away
their will to escape.

They are docile, sir.

Completely cowed.

From every other prison
camp, they fly away like birds.

But here, not one escape, sir.

Not one escape.

Oh, I do hope when you
have an opportunity, sir,

you will mention this in Berlin.

Klink, I'm not interested

in the keeper of the jail.

She is here, Colonel. Marya.

She has come to see me.

Marya?

Do you think she has come
to see me? Who's with her?

Some General. A German General?

It means nothing
to her. I can tell.

The important
thing is she is here.

I don't like it.

You mean the White
Russian, Colonel? From Paris?

I don't trust her.

Even if she is married
to him, I trust her.

Kinch, go tune
in to Klink's office.

I want to hear what
this is all about. Right.

Colonel Hogan.

Uh, later, Schultz.
I'm busy right now.

Colonel Hogan, you
are wanted immediately

in Commandant Klink's office.

Can't make it. Look...

Not only Commandant
Klink wants you...

Also General
Frederick von Heiner.

Why does he want me?

No one asked for me?

Why should they?

Hey, Schultz, do me a
favor. Wait over there.

I'll be right with
you. No, no, no, no!

My orders are specific.

Okay, I'll let you
in on our plans.

I'll wait over there.

Now, listen. This
is for everybody.

There's a very good chance
that we have been sold out

by somebody who knows
all about our operation here.

Never.

A very good chance.

I want you to listen
in to Klink's office.

If we've been sold
out, don't wait for me.

Everybody down the
tunnel and out. Everybody.

And that's an order.

So long.

Very nice lady friend
you got there, I must say.

She is with us completely.

Then what's she doing
with a Nazi general?

Slumming?

Come in. Come in.

Colonel Hogan reporting
as requested, Commandant.

At ease.

General von Heiner,
Colonel Hogan.

Delighted.

And Marya, I believe,
you already know.

Well?

It's possible.

You meet so many
women in a place like this.

You see, Bobo, I told you.

He's a fun person.

I see.

Always laughing and singing,

but thoroughly cowed,
sir. Thoroughly cowed.

Colonel Hogan, would
you come here, please?

What would you say this is?

Looks like a map, sir.

Most amusing.

This is Stalag 13.

And this?

You tell me.

This is a rocket fuel
depot, newly constructed.

You certainly can
read a map, sir.

Colonel Hogan, let
us play a little game.

You are in contact
with a band of saboteurs

operating in this area.

Now, General von
Heiner, I can assure you...

Your name is Hogan?

Oh, no, sir. Klink.
Wilhelm Klink.

Remember that.

Yes, I shall
remember that. Klink.

A rocket fuel depot would
offer a most attractive target.

Would it not?

May I ask the General

why you're asking
me these questions?

Oh, certainly.

Marya has hinted that, though
you may be in seclusion here,

you are not exactly
in retirement.

He forced it from me, darling.

But, General von Heiner,

I can state categorically...

that my name is
Klink. Yes, sir. Klink.

I shall remember.

Now, you are curious
as to what I intend to do?

Not if it's top secret, sir.

Oh, not at all.

The waiting game.

It is the tempting target.

Might also prove a trap.

One brain against another.

Could it be yours?

And, while we are
waiting, we shall have fun.

Bobo, darling, I'm planning
a champagne supper tonight

at the hotel in
Hammelburg, second floor.

Marya, you know I shall
be at the fuel depot tonight.

I know.

Well, if there's
nothing more, General.

One minute, Hogan.

Klink...

this belongs to you?

W-W-What's that, sir?

A listening device.

Someone is hearing every
word said in this office.

That's impossible.

We shall have it traced.

Have it traced, General.

That's a marvelous idea.

Sergeant Schultz!

And, if it leads where
I suspect it will lead,

the waiting game is over.

Such a pity.

Such a fun person.

All right, pull! And fast!

You still see it, Schultz?

Definitely, Herr Kommandant.

It goes under the boardwalk,
and now here it comes out,

and goes up the pole...

Which is very fortunate

because, for a man
of my age and size...

Never mind, Schultz.

Just follow the wire.

Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.

As you can plainly see,

it goes up the pole,

to a point where it... ends?

How could it end?

How could it end, Schultz?

Just that. It ends.

Gestapo job, sir.

Did you say Gestapo?

Remember that time they were
checking out your loyalty, sir?

Which time?

Never mind.

It's a Gestapo job,
General von Heiner.

Perhaps.

Am I still under arrest, sir?

No. You may go, Hogan.

But, uh, I'm not... repeat,
not... Finished with you yet.

And neither am I, Bobo.

Neither am I.

Well?

Well, what do you think?

Clark Gable.

Carter.

I know Clark Gable.

I've seen every picture.

To you, he's Clark Gable,

but what's he gonna be
to General von Heiner?

I'm gambling that he's not going
to be there. Just the Russian.

And she is definitely
on our side. I feel it.

LeBeau, I've been meaning

to have a little talk
to you about girls.

Things your mum and dad
should have told you at home.

I would stake my life on her.

But what about mine?

And mine?

It's kind of a
disturbing thought.

Yeah, you think just because she
gave you a smile... Oh, come on!

All right, hold it.

This little visit's
a calculated risk.

Got to find out how much
the Russian's told von Heiner.

Nothing.

Oh, come on.

What about the French?
What are you talking about?

All right, hold it, fellas.

If she's told him
everything she knows,

we're apt to end up in
front of a firing squad.

Don't think she's done it
yet, but we've got to find out.

One thing more... I
appreciated the fact

that you didn't bail
out this morning

when von Heiner found
the bug in Klink's office.

But, this time, if we're
not back by midnight,

evacuate the camp.

That's an order.

Forget about appearances.

She's with us, I know.

Yes?

We're here to fix the sink.

Huh?

Clark Gable Hogan, come in.

Shh! You alone?

Of course.

Where have you
been, Hogan, darling?

I've been waiting and waiting.

I'm here, too.

And my small one, more
handsome than ever.

How can I keep
my hands off of you?

Oh, do not try.

Let's get down to business.

LeBeau, look out.

Now?

I'll make it up to you later.

I believe you.

Will you open the
champagne, Hogan, darling?

I didn't come to
drink champagne.

I came to find out

how much you told von
Heiner about Stalag 13.

Or how much you
intend to tell him.

Of course, Hogan, darling.

We will discuss everything
after the champagne.

Champagne, LeBeau.

Ah, oui. Excuse me.

A toast.

To victory.

Victory for who?

Look, let's stop kidding around.

Whose side are you on?

You don't trust me?

No.

I don't know why. We worked
so well together in Paris.

I didn't trust you there either.

You're jealous of Bobo.

I couldn't care less.

Now, look, are we
going to talk or not?

Of course.

How are you going to blow
up the rocket fuel depot?

I don't know yet.

And, if I did, I don't
think I'd tell you.

Aha! You will tunnel under it?

Is that what you're
going to tell von Heiner?

Tell me, Hogan, darling,
why are you so suspicious?

Von Heiner.

Tell him I'm a plumber.

He would never believe that
I would be kissing a plumber.

What?

I'll tell him you're my brother.

It is my brother!

I believe you.

But General von Heiner
has just arrived at the curb.

Oh, let's get out of here.

Just trust me.

I do.

You deserve each other.

Gor blimey!

Take ahold of it, will you?

Shh! Hey, Carter,
do you have it?

Be careful.

Okay. Okay, that's good.

All right. Set the
timer for 2000 hours.

2000 hours. Right.

That'll be during
evening roll call.

I want everyone in plain
sight when that bomb blows.

That the alibi, Colonel?

Hardly. Von Heiner might decide
to shoot all of us on suspicion.

It's all set, Colonel.

Now, I figure
we're about five feet

under the main rocket fuel tank.

So, when this thing explodes,

the explosion is going to go...

All right. Good.

Everybody grab these shovels.

Let's backfill this tunnel.

Why do that, Colonel?

The explosion will do a
better job than we can.

Two reasons: von Heiner
may be looking for tunnels.

The Russian guessed
we'd work that way.

She would never, in the
entire world, do such a...

Would you be quiet?

The second reason: Whatever
happens if they grab me...

And that's very possible...
That bomb goes as scheduled.

And that's an order.

This is one order

I want to make
sure is carried out.

If no one can get to the bomb,

nobody's going to be tempted.

Sounds like you're
expecting bad news.

I am.

Now, let's lean
on those shovels.

War party coming, Colonel!

Von Heiner, Klink,
the girl and guards!

Okay. Everything out of sight?

Everything shipshape, sir.

All right, just relax.

Don't do anything,
don't say anything,

whatever happens.

Achtung!

At ease.

Colonel Hogan,

how nice to find you at home.

I've been meaning
to have you over, sir.

It seems we never see the
people we really want to see.

That's very good.

Hey!

Have you any idea what
they're doing, Hogan?

I think we can rule
out maid service.

We can.

These men are experts

at finding escape tunnels,
radios, secret transmitters.

General von Heiner,

we have never even had an
escape from Stalag 13. Not one!

No. Perhaps, if we find
what we're looking for,

you may be the first.

Beyond tearing up our
dream house, General,

what do you have in mind?

Marya has made a most
interesting suggestion.

Somehow, Colonel Hogan,
General von Heiner has the idea

that you're connected
with an assault

on the rocket fuel depot.

Really?

Mysterious informant.

But, since he has
these unfair suspicions,

I suggested you would be glad
to serve as a hostage at the depot.

Hmm?

And, uh, just when do I
become a hostage, General?

At 1800 hours,
which is, uh, right now.

Take him away, Klink.

Take him away, Schultz.

Guards!

You will stay here
until you find something.

If you please, Colonel Hogan.

Thanks for thinking of me.

Oh, it was nothing.

What time is it, Schultz?

7:30, which is to say it
is 1900 and 30 hours.

I think.

Let me ask you a
hypothetical question, Schultz.

No, because it has to do

with you wanting to get
out, and you cannot get out.

I cannot get out. Colonel Hogan,

there are soldiers out there.

Real soldiers.

For me, it is just a job.

And they have orders
to shoot both of us

if we leave this room.

So my answer is no.

It wasn't a question, Schultz.

No?

No.

Question of philosophy.

Oh, philosophy.

Let's assume you
were going to die.

Soon, or not so soon?

Within the next half hour.

Colonel Hogan, please.

Would you want
to be told or not?

I do not want to talk
about the whole question.

Okay, just asking.

Colonel Hogan, you're
planning something.

Wish I wasn't.

Within the next half hour?

You don't want to talk about it.

Colonel Hogan!

Hogan, darling.

I can think of a lot of people
I'd like to see right now,

but you're not one of them.

Fight me as long as you
can, darling, I adore you for it.

Please, I hate to interrupt,

but I have a rather pressing
problem of a personal nature.

You are free to leave.

Oh, how can I thank you enough?

With Hogan.

They will shoot us both.

Not if you get General
von Heiner's permission.

Oh, excellent. A wonderful man.

As a rule, between us,

I do not care too
much for generals,

but General von Heiner... hmm.

Wait a minute, Schultz.

What's the price
for his permission?

Nothing.

Just the time of the
attack or the explosion.

What could be more fair?

No deal.

But Colonel Hogan!

You do not trust me.

Hardly.

Then I shall have
to convince you.

Do that.

But you'd better make it fast.

I guessed that you
would work by tunnel.

By now the explosive
is already planted, no?

And the time is close?

Very close!

Listen. General von Heiner

is waiting outside for
news that you have cracked;

that you are willing to betray
the exact time of the attack.

So tell me now.

Why should I?

Because, if you
do, I will get you out.

Why should I believe you?

Colonel Hogan, could it
hurt you to believe her?

He's right. What
have you to lose?

Okay.

This whole place goes up at 2000 hours...
- 00.

My men haven't had a
chance to get to the bomb,

even if they wanted to.

And there isn't time

for anybody else
to get there either.

It goes.

Just a few minutes?

That should be enough.

Call General von Heiner.

I certainly hope the
general is not tied up.

He is here.

So, Marya, you have had success?

He is willing to sell his
soul for safe conduct back

to his prison before the battle.

Granted.

Now, from where are they
coming, when and how many?

South side... from the woods.

Not too imaginative.

How many?

About 50 partisans,
armed mainly with rifles.

Oh. And when? Tonight?

Yes, sir. In about 15 minutes.

Well, we should be ready.

Marya, you take
cover until it is over.

What about me, sir?

You?

You will stay here where
I can keep an eye on you.

You promised safekeeping.

He's right, begging
the General's pardon.

An informant talks
to me of promises?

Bobo, here he may
be killed by a stray shot.

So?

He is a well out of which

much useful information
may be pumped later.

Yes.

Even a worm has a use, huh?

I should resent
that, but I don't.

I volunteer to see the prisoner
safely back to Stalag 13.

I shall go along.

Best of luck, Bobo.

Oh... Will you be in danger?

A little target shooting.

And, Hogan...

If your information is wrong,
I shall be looking for you.

Yes, sir. You certainly will.

What time is it, Schultz?

Precisely 8:00.

We better join him.

Schultz!

Hogan!

What's going on here?

What are you
doing on the ground?

Beautiful, Hogan.

Oh, you're a fun person.

Why'd you make
it so hard for me?

Why didn't you work with
me instead of against me?

Who cares about rocket fuel?

They're not bombing Moscow

with their rockets...
Just London.

Then what were you after?

We cannot trust Hitler to
shoot all his own generals.

Some we must take
care of ourselves.

Oh. Bobo.

Oh, I am desolate.

Will you kiss me now or later?

I think I'll make it later.

Shy.

Desperately shy.

Herr Kommandant,
Sergeant Schultz reporting.

I want answers, and
I shall have answers!

The Gestapo, the army...
everybody will be investigating

what happened to the
rocket plant within hours!

Right, sir. Wouldn't care

to be in your shoes.

My shoes?!

I definitely saw you and Schultz

on the ground
seconds before the blast

as if you were expecting it.

Now, I shall include
that in my report.

I wasn't expecting
it. Schultz was.

Colonel Hogan!
Herr Kommandant, I...

ESP. Extrasensory perception.

I just found out
about it myself.

The man is remarkable.

Schultz is?

Mm-hmm. You'll have
to lose him now, sir,

They'll want him
right next to Hitler.

Why? Best man in the world

to have around
in case of danger.

You make your
report as you see fit.

ESP, huh? Amazing!

Herr Kommandant, do you think,

if I go to Berlin,

I would be in line
for a promotion?

Schultz, you're not
going anywhere!

We will not mention
this to anyone.

The questioners will
get nothing out of me.

Dismissed!

Command decision.

They could use
you at the front, sir.

You heard something?

Schultz, did you...?

Herr Kommandant...

I will let you know
when it happens.