Hercules: The Legendary Journeys (1995–1999): Season 1, Episode 9 - The Warrior Princess - full transcript

It sure is a beauty.

It's all yours, Iolaus.

What are you talking about?
We both worked on it.

Nah. I'll get the next one
we make.

- How's that sound?
- Well, to tell you the truth...,

it's the best idea
you ever had.

That was... pretty good.

Thanks. You know...,

all it takes is a little practice,
nerves of steel...,

and a knife
so perfectly forged...

What in the name of Hades
do you think you're doing?!



- Serena?
- Iolaus?

- Did you do that?
- Yeah,

I was, uh, practicing with
my new knife. Hercules and I...

- This is my house.
- Your house?

I thought it was abandoned.

- We moved in yesterday.
- We?

You haven't heard?
I'm married now.

Oh.., great.
Who's the lucky guy?

Tremulous.

Serena!
Are you gonna help me or not?!

I gotta go.

He's so cute when he needs me.
Bye, Iolaus.

Just... take it easy on my house,
okay?

Maybe I should use this knife
to slit my wrists.



Come on.
Haven't you heard the old saying?

There's plenty of fish in the sea.

- Yeah.
- Somewhere,

the perfect woman
is waiting for you.

There she is.

That's her.

Let's go, let's do it.

Pathetic!

If you can't learn to fight
better than that,

then you're never gonna
defeat Hercules.

And I want him dead.

This is the history
of a time long ago,

a time of myth and legend,

when the ancient gods
were petty and cruel

and they plagued mankind
with suffering.

Only one man dared
to challenge their power:

Hercules.

Hercules possessed a strength
the world had never seen,

a strength surpassed only
by the power of his heart.

He journeyed the Earth
battling the minions

of his wicked stepmother, Hera,
the all-powerful queen of the gods.

But wherever there was evil,
wherever an innocent would suffer,

there would be... Hercules!

HERCULES: THE LEGENDARY JOURNEYS

Hercules!

Hercules,
you're working too hard!

Mother, I've got to do something

to make up
for never being around here.

Well, how about stopping
long enough for a picnic?

I'd rather have your company than
this wall you want to build.

Well, what if I... give you both?

Oh, you certainly know
how to make your mother happy.

I really do think you spend
too much time worrying about me.

- I mean, the wall...
- If it keeps you from being hurt

or robbed just once, it's worth
every drop of sweat I put into it.

I still don't think the world
is that bad a place, Hercules.

Besides, Iolaus looks in on me
whenever he can.

Well, he is a good man.

- But a lonely one, I'm afraid.
- Hmm..., you see it too?

It's his eyes
that touch my heart.

- There's... no joy in them.
- So you think he needs

- a woman in his life?
- Do you disagree?

- With you?
- Hmm?

No. I'm too smart for that.

I won't be far away, Xena.

Do you doubt
that I can take care of myself?

No, of course not.
But what if...

You'll know when I need you,
Theodorus.

I don't want to see you
before then.

Very well.

There, there; it's not so bad.
You'll be okay.

Need any help?

Stay away.

Hey, take it easy.

- Give me a reason to.
- Come on.

Do I look dangerous?

Looks can be very deceiving.

If you want to stay here

and threaten every good Samaritan
who comes along,

be my guest. But I'll be glad
to help you get to the village.

Are you sure that's
what you really wanna do?

Put down the knife,
and I'll be glad to.

Oh.

Sorry.

What's the matter, Hercules?
Running out of monsters to slay?

- Not if my mother's wall counts.
- Is it tougher than the Nemean Lion?

Well, the blisters on my hands...
say it is.

Yeah, thanks a lot.
All right.

Here you go.

Say, how about a toast to fate
for bringing us together, huh?

Excuse me.

Look what the cat dragged in.

I thought you were gonna help me
with my mother's wall today.

- Oh, yeah.
- Uh-huh.

I'm sorry, I forgot.
Something came up.

I'm sure it did.

I'm Xena.

Hello, Xena. I'm...

This... is my best friend
in all the world, that's who he is.

But does he have a name?

What? Oh, yeah, yeah.
This is Hercules.

Is everyone you know
so famous?

Famous? Him?
What are you talking about?

Iolaus,
you're such a comedian.

He certainly is. Until it's time
to get down to business,

and then I wouldn't want
anyone else on my side.

I had a feeling
he was like that.

My horse had gone lame out
in the countryside

when Iolaus found me...,
and he made sure

I got here without anyone else
bothering me.

Uh-huh.
He never lets you down.

I'll have to remember that.

Don't worry,
he won't let you forget.

Hey!

So, uh, if he is gonna talk
about himself all night...,

should we do it over a nice dinner?
Are you interested?

Yeah.

Oh, I think I'd be better off, trying
to look for a soft, warm bed.

Think you could help me
one last time?

Well, yeah. Uh...
I think that can be arranged.

- See ya.
- Uh-huh.

The last time I saw him,
he was... walking out of the inn

with a big dumb smile
on his face.

That was a week ago.

What's he doing anyway?

Hercules,
you fathered three children.

You shouldn't have to ask.

Mother, that's not
what I'm talking about.

It's just that I don't get to see
much of Iolaus, except...

when we're...
in life-and-death situations.

I was hoping we could do
something more normal this time,

you know? Like...,
I don't know, hunt, fish...,

whatever, talk.

I know how much you enjoy
spending time with Iolaus,

but where love and humans
are involved,

you never know
what to expect.

But... Iolaus doesn't know anything
about this Xena.

I mean, what if she's got
a jealous husband?

What if she's the best possible cure
for his loneliness?

I think...,
until you find out otherwise,

you should just be happy
for him.

Okay, okay.
You're right... again.

I'll just be here,
filling the wall... by myself.

What's wrong?

I don't want you
to fall in love with me.

It may be too late.
Have you thought about that?

I was hoping I'd be the only one
to go away from this

- with a broken heart.
- You don't have to go away.

- I want you here.
- I know you do.

And I'd stay... if it didn't mean
I was letting somebody else down.

You never spoke
about another man.

Not one man, many of them.
And women and children too.

They're under siege
by a warlord named Petracus.

He's trying to drive them out
of the Arcadian Highlands.

I'm building an army
to defend them.

That's why you were traveling
with so many weapons.

- You're a warrior.
- I used to think I was.

But now I know that
no matter how hard I fight,

I can't beat Petracus by myself.

I need help.

You came to get Hercules,
didn't you?

Yes.

But I found you.

Then I should be the one
you ask for help.

- I can't do that.
- Why?

'Cause Hercules is better
than me, is that it?

He's the warrior and I'm
some meaningless jester?

No. It's because it wouldn't
turn my life upside down

if he got hurt...
or even killed.

But if something
happened to you?

Nothing is gonna happen to me.

You're not gonna take "no"
for an answer, are you?

No. I'm afraid
you're stuck with me.

I like it like that.

Enough.

- But it's been so long.
- Better to go without

than to have to share a bed
with Hercules' best friend.

I'll kill any man
who touches you.

No, Theodorus.
Kill Hercules.

- You'd let me have that honor?
- If you think you're worthy.

You know I am.

Then take this.

It'll make you strong in battle
and return you safely back to me.

- Xena...
- Go. Make me proud.

I will. I swear it.

Hey, looking good.

I wish it was looking finished.
Where are you going?

We're going to rid my people
of the warlord Petracus.

- I've never heard of him.
- Well, from what Xena says,

you and the whole world will
if he isn't stopped in Arcadia.

- Is there anything I can do?
- No.

I'm just offering my help.

Iolaus is all the help I need.

Well, you know how I feel about him.
He's the best.

That's why he's with me.

Yah!

If it turns out that you do need me,
I'll be there for you.

Yeah, I know you will.

But, uh..., listen, I don't want you
to get the wrong idea about Xena.

She's worth whatever risk it takes.

Then you're lucky
she's in your life.

Come on, Iolaus!

Hmm.
Come on. Come on. Yah!

Good luck, my friend.

You know..., a true warrior
attacks from the front.

My commander says
you attack

from whatever side
suits your purpose.

So... he's a coward too.

Uh... You better try
something else.

With pleasure.

Me and my big mouth.

Enjoy this while you can.

I'm still enjoying it, Hercules.
Disappointed?

As a matter of fact, yes.

Why did you attack me?

- Love.
- Whose love?

Xena.

I'm sorry I failed you.

Xena?

I don't understand
why you think it's her.

There must be lots of other Xenas
in the world.

I'd agree with you
if the warrior who attacked me

hadn't been wearing
Xena's medallion.

That still doesn't explain him
trying to kill you, Hercules.

He loved her...,
and he wanted to prove it.

Are you sure
that's why he died?

He didn't just die, Mother. Xena
sent him on a suicide mission.

- But there's no reason for that.
- Yes, there is.

He was the bait.

Now Xena expects me
to go after Iolaus

and walk... right into whatever trap
she's laying.

And that's what
you're going to do, isn't it?

- I have to.
- Iolaus will think you're coming

to steal his glory. This woman
will make sure of that.

You'll destroy your friendship
with Iolaus.

Saving his life
is more important.

Promise me
you'll come back in one piece?

In one piece.

And with Iolaus.

In case you're still
wondering...,

I really would rather
go into battle with you.

You don't have
to make me feel good.

You don't have to treat me
like I'm a hypocrite.

Believe it or not, I don't give a fig
for Hercules or his reputation.

Then you're the only one, Xena.

Maybe you and the rest
of his adoring legions

should take a closer look
at him.

What's Hercules really fighting for?

Go ahead, Iolaus, tell me.

He fights to help people;
I thought everybody knew that.

He wants to stop slavery
and injustice.

No, stop.

You're a grown man.

You're an honored warrior.
And yet you're still taken in

by the same lies that school
children cling to.

They're not lies. I've seen
the good that Hercules can do.

I've been there with him.

Then you should know
better than anybody

that all Hercules is fighting for

is to prove that he can succeed
without Zeus.

And to get revenge on Hera
for killing his family.

He's selfish, Iolaus,
he's selfish right to the bone.

- I don't need to hear this.
- And I don't need to hear

that Hercules should be here
instead of you.

Fact is...,

I think you're a better man
that he will ever be.

Or...

Come on.

This is beautiful country.

I can see why you're fighting
to keep it.

You're gonna do more
than see.

There. They're part
of Petracus' legion.

What do you want to do?

I want to wipe them off
the face of the Earth.

Yah! Yah!

I can't sit this one out.

It's that murdering warrior, Xena!

Watch out!

Xena! Let's go!

Quickly!

Is this the best you've got?!

Bring it on!

Boy, you know
how to show a guy a good time.

- Don't talk; fight!
- Okay.

- Don't let him get away!
- Ah, it's over, Xena. Let him go.

- What do you think you're doing?!
- No.

We won.
He's not coming back.

Yeah, I guess not.

You were great.

No, better than that;
you were amazing.

- You don't have to say that.
- But it's true.

The only warrior I've seen
who is as magnificent as you are,

is Hercules.

- I'm honored.
- You deserve to be.

Well, if you mean that...,

you won't try to stop me
burning the wagon.

That's it, swing harder.

No, no. Drive forward
when you strike!

Watch this, come in low.

It's Xena!

- We were worried!
- Give us some room.

We thought
something had happened.

- Act like warriors.
- All right.

Who's this?

This is the man who gives us
the power to defeat Petracus.

I'm Iolaus.

He's Hercules' best friend,
Estrogon.

I've never seen a man
better with a sword.

I want you to show me
that move you used

when you knocked the sword out
of that soldier's hand.

Even though I didn't kill him
with it?

I can fix that.
So can you.

You've all got things to do.

We'll never defeat Petracus
if you just stand around!

- All right, back to work.
- As for you...,

come with me.

I wasn't expecting this from somebody
whose warriors treat her like a hero.

You deserve what you get.
I deserve what I get.

I'm not gonna argue with you.

I saw the way you handled yourself
in that fight.

- Did I impress you?
- Well...,

when a woman asks me for help,
I don't expect her to be so...

...independent? Violent?

Yeah. And fearless too.

Hard times
breed hard people, Iolaus.

There's no avoiding that.

My father was killed in battle, and
so were all three of my brothers.

I won't be.

I admire your goal.

But somewhere out there,
there's a warlord

who waits for an ocean of blood
to keep you from achieving it.

If not Petracus, then
the next one who comes along.

You sound like you're
worried about me.

Well, I am.
It's not every day

I meet a beautiful woman
that wants to wash my back.

I will do more for you
than that, Iolaus.

Much more.

- You do this for all your warriors?
- Only special ones.

Oh. I hope there aren't
too many of those.

Right now, there's just you.

Come back later.

But Hercules is here!

Hercules?

- He must've followed us.
- Why would he do that?

Perhaps he doesn't trust me
with you.

He shouldn't.

Or maybe he doesn't think
you're man enough to help me.

I better go see
what he wants.

You're a long way
from home, Hercules.

Hello, Iolaus.

I didn't expect to see you
here, Hercules.

- I didn't expect to come.
- Well, you didn't have to.

I thought we agreed
on that.

Well, that was before your warrior
princess sent someone to kill me.

I don't like the way
you're talking about a brave woman.

Since when
is there anything brave

about sneak attacks
or the people behind them?

I think you better turn around
and go home now, Hercules.

- I was hoping you'd go with me.
- No.

Even though
she wants me dead?

- Where's your proof?
- My words should be enough for you.

It isn't.

I guess that means
friendship doesn't count?

Not when you poison it
by coming here.

Iolaus,
what are you talking about?!

You've got it all wrong!

Just get out of here, Hercules.
We're through talking.

Why? Are you afraid
of what you'll hear?

Get out of here!

You haven't answered
my question.

I think you lost this.

Goodbye, Iolaus.

It's him, I tell you.
I can tell from behind.

Why don't you go ask him?

Go on.
What are you afraid of?

Ask him.

Have you, uh...,
taken care of her yet?

I don't know
who you're talking about.

Xena, the Warrior Princess,
who else?

She just wants to write her name
across history in big bloody letters.

She won't rest until
she's wiped out everybody and...

everything that's stopping her
from conquering Arcadia.

If we don't give her all our crops
and our wares,

she kills every man
in sight.

We're ordinary people, farmers
and millhands, not warriors.

You have to help us, Hercules.

- Come on. What do you say?
- Please, Hercules.

- Help us, Hercules.
- Don't go.

- We need your help.
- I'm... sorry.

- I...
- Stay, Hercules.

just don't have the strength right now.
Excuse me.

Don't desert us, Hercules.

- Hercules, wait!
- Look,

there's nothing more
to talk about.

Oh, yes there is.

Why don't we start
with whatever it is you lost?

- You want to tell me what it was?
- It wasn't a "what".

It was a "who".

Best friend I ever had.

Xena got him to...
fall in love with her

and now she's turned him
against me.

If your friend took the trouble
to look into her past,

he'd know that she was using him
to get you here.

Once she has your head
hanging on her wall,

she doesn't expect anybody
to stand in her way.

Well, somebody else
will have to be her trophy.

I'm going home.

I see.

A night's rest
would do you good.

I-I could put you up at my place,
if you like.

- You sure it's no trouble?
- If it was,

I wouldn't have invited you.
The name's Petracus.

The warlord?

Take a closer look at me, son.
Do I look like a warlord to you?

- No, you don't.
- No, of course not.

I'm a farmer...,
and an old one at that.

Xena doesn't care anything
for the truth

when she's trying to get someone
into her clutches.

She takes my name and...

applies it to some imaginary madman
who rose from Hades,

robbing shrines and...
murdering innocent people.

It sounds like she'll do anything
to get what she wants.

And she wants everything.

And if she kills you...,
there'll be nothing to stop her.

If he was really your friend,

he wouldn't have come here
and tried to interfere.

Well, I guess you're right,
Xena.

It's just...

I've never been on a different
side to Hercules before.

You didn't let that stop you
from standing up to him.

You were a true warrior.

If I was anything less,
you wouldn't want me here.

You've turned out to be everything
I thought Hercules would be.

But Hercules...

I can be fierce and violent,
Iolaus - you've seen that for yourself.

But to hear Hercules say
what he said...,

it was like having a dagger
plunged through my heart.

I've ended my friendship
with him.

Then you must be
in pain too.

Not as long as I'm with you.

Come to bed when you're finished
with your sword.

I'll be waiting.

He turns into a whimpering dog
every time I mention Hercules.

- Then he must die.
- Not by your hand, Estrogon.

And not by mine.

- It's Hercules who must kill him.
- But Hercules is gone.

Then it's our job
to bring him back.

That is, if you think you're
brave enough to ride with me.

You know I am.
But... your strategy, I...

A true warrior
would understand

that you demoralize
and weaken before you destroy.

When Hercules realizes
that he's killed his best friend...,

he'll be ripe for slaughter.

- When do we go after him?
- At dawn.

- And until then?
- Save your strength.

The most painful thing a parent
can do is bury a child.

My only son
lies in that grave.

He was barely 20 when he died
at the hands of a Spartan.

But it was really Xena
who killed him.

You mean he fell
into the same trap my friend is in?

I warned him.

Begged, pleaded..., argued.

I even ran down the road after him
the day he road off, begging him...

The one thing I didn't do
was give up.

Is that what you think I'm doing,
Petracus? Giving up?

- You tell me.
- Your son was a very young man.

Iolaus is an adult...,

capable of living his own life,
making his own decisions.

And it's all right
if those decisions kill him?!

You know it's not.

Then why are you letting him stay
with that murdering harlot?

She's a monster...,
just like the Hydra,

and the Nemean Lion
and the Stymphalian Bird.

You didn't walk away
from fighting them, Hercules.

And you can't walk away
from fighting her.

You're right. I can't.

Thank you.

Xena?

All right, Estrogon.
Let's mount up!

Open the gates!

- Yah!
- Yah! Yah!

- There he is.
- Shh. Get back.

Who's there?

If you don't show your face,
I'm coming in there after you.

That won't be necessary.

Did your warrior princess
have a previous engagement?

Even the mighty Hercules...

should show more respect
than that.

For what? A murderer?
A crazy woman

whose only purpose in life
is to kill and conquer?

- You're dead.
- Not yet.

No more.

What did you say?

I said I surrender.

Please don't kill me.

I'm not going to kill you.
Stand up.

What are you gonna do to me?

Estrogon!

Is this what you do
to all your warriors, Xena?!

Only those who don't follow
my code.

It's Xena!
What's happened to her?!

Are you all right?

Xena! What happened?

He killed Estrogon
and he tried to kill me.

- Who did?
- Hercules!

He caught us by surprise,
Iolaus.

I thought I was going to die.

Ambushing people,
attacking women...

That's not the Hercules
I know.

He must have gone crazy
or something.

You'd know that he had if
you saw what he did to Estrogon.

Estrogon shouldn't have been there
with you. I should have.

But then Hercules
would have killed you.

- You expect me to run away?
- Other men would.

Other men couldn't love you
the way I do.

Do you mean that?

Can you really put me
in your life before Hercules?

I did once.

I'm not gonna back down,
Xena.

But this time is different,
you've got to know that.

Yeah, I know.

If Hercules comes for you...,

I may have to...
kill him.

- Can you do that?
- Only for you.

Iolaus...,

I know you can defeat
Hercules.

I know it in my soul.

You know the way Hercules fights.

You know all his moves.

You know... all of his tricks.

You know all of his weaknesses.

The only one to do battle with Hercules
when he arrives is Iolaus.

D'you understand?

I don't care
how quickly my little man dies,

and I don't care
how painfully he does it.

No one is to be out there...

until Iolaus is dead...
and Hercules is standing...,

staggered by the weight of what
he's done to his best friend.

Then, and only then do we move in
to rid the world of the son of Zeus.

Do I make myself clear?

Good.

And not a word about this
to Iolaus.

If he knew what a sacrifice
he was going to make,

he might have second thoughts.

He's here.

I can't believe
you'd show your face here!

Stay out of this, Iolaus.
My fight's with Xena, not you.

Don't push me aside!

You're the one that attacked Xena
and killed the warrior with her.

- Is that what she told you?!
- Get a weapon, Hercules.

- She's using you to get to me!
- Quit talking and get a weapon!

I'm giving you the chance
you never gave Xena.

- And what if I don't want it?
- You don't get off that easy.

- What are you doing?!
- Come on!

Fight, damn it! Quit acting
like you're too good for me!

I have never been
too good for you!

I'm just trying to stay alive
long enough

for you to come to your senses!

Yes, kill him, Iolaus.

Xena!
Keep your goons out of this!

Are you going to use it?

No.

This knife wasn't meant
to draw your blood.

Come on...,
let's get it over with.

- I'm not going to kill you.
- I was gonna kill you.

- Were you?
- Get them.

- We'll talk about this later.
- Sure.

I want them both dead.

Hercules, behind you!

Let's get out of here!

Hercules! Hercules!

Let's go!
Let's get out of here!

Aren't you even gonna say goodbye?!

Ha! You haven't heard
the last of me, Hercules!

Yah!

You know...,
you could've caught her.

If you hadn't saved me.

You're a little more important
than she is.

I don't know which hurts worse.

My head or...
knowing how stupid I was.

It always helps to know what you're
fighting for before you start fighting.

Is this where the lecture starts?

It could be.

But it won't.

You know..., if you really want
to lecture me...,

it should be about the kind of woman
I'm attracted to.

After Xena, you'd be better off
falling in love with a black widow.

Maybe I'll just give up women
altogether. What do you think?

- I think it would be a good idea.
- Yeah.

Wait a minute.

Iolaus,

it seems like an awful lot
for a red-blooded man like you

- to be walking away from.
- Yeah, you're right.

Only next time, give me a woman
who wants to kill me with kisses.

Subtitles: @marlonrock1986 (^^V^^)