Hercules (1998–1999): Season 2, Episode 9 - Hercules and the Poseidon's Cup Adventure - full transcript
♪ Who put the
"glad" in gladiator? ♪
♪ Hercules ♪
♪ Whose daring deeds
are great theater? ♪
♪ Hercules ♪
♪ Is he bold? ♪
♪ No one braver ♪
♪ Is he sweet? ♪
♪ Our favorite
flavor, Hercules ♪
- ♪ What a guy ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Ask his friends ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
♪ Honey, they won't lie ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Ahh, Hercules ♪
♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Come on ♪
- ♪ No one's fool ♪
♪ Now, the boy's in school ♪
♪ He's in trainin' ♪
♪ Sun is shinin' ♪
♪ And the nicest guy ♪
♪ No complainin' ♪
♪ He was a no one ♪
♪ Zero, zero, give
him a quick deed ♪
♪ He's our hero ♪
♪ He's the most
likely to succeed ♪
♪ From zero to hero ♪
♪ Herc is a hero ♪
♪ He'll be a hero ♪
Wait and see!
Hah-hah! That's it.
Ha! Get 'em with a
left... Go on. Jab! Jab!
Knock 'em in the air bladder!
What? What?
That was not below the dorsal!
Uh-oh.
Elmer! Here, boy! Calamari.
Yum yum yum yum yum.
98... 99... Poseidon,
honey, I'm home!
100.
Oh, hey, cutie, I didn't
even hear you coming.
Whew, what a workout.
I earned a break.
Did you get the paper?
Not until you do your
post-workout stretch.
Besides, the Greekly World News
is nothing but gossip anyway.
Hey!
Good boy, Elmer.
Uh...
Come on, Amphitrite,
I always get a kick
out of the "Where are
they now?" column.
It's always some chump
drying out in the
Bellerophon clinic,
or some poor slob too fat to...
"Where is Poseidon now?"
You're scaring Elmer, honey.
Where am I? Ha!
Maybe a nice flash
flood will remind them.
Now, dear, this will not
help your public image.
Why don't you have a festival?
All the gods are
doing it these days,
Bacchus, Aphrodite...
Oh, I'd rather flood something!
Think about it. A whole
day devoted to you
and nobody else but you.
And so the God of the Sea
decreed the first annual
Poseidon's Cup Regatta.
Translation,
the big ol' fish decided to
throw a big ol' boat race.
Every sea-faring Greek...
And that's just about
all of 'em, honey.
Was soon catching
Poseidon's cup fever.
Oh, and, darling, even
Hercules was not about to miss
the hottest ticket
of the season.
Ow! Hey!
Oh! Sorry.
I just had a vision
that I was going
to sleep in line,
in a public square,
so I could buy tickets
for the Poseidon's Cup Regatta.
That was no vision. You did it.
OK, first thing after school,
I'm getting a life.
This is what separates
the hard-core Poseidon fans
from the wannabes.
Hey, the line's moving.
Three student
tickets for... Ohh!
Oh, poor baby.
I suppose your servants waited
in line for your tickets, Adonis.
Ticket? Ha! I'm racing.
I shall claim victory
for Team Thrace
in my father's
yacht, The Insipid.
Oh, yeah? Talk to
the hand, Adonis.
I mean, talk to this hand.
Oh, you stand behind
your convictions.
Cassandra, I set 'em up,
Herc knocks 'em down.
Oh... yeah?
Now, see, I never would
have thought of that pause
between "Oh" and "Yeah."
That's what makes
us a great team.
I'll show the winner's trophy
and tell about my
triumph in class.
Show and tell, hmm...
That could catch on.
I better copyright that quickly.
I'll give ya show and tell!
Don't tell me, Prim-Adonis?
I paint 'em up. Herc
punches 'em down.
It's therapeutic.
I'd do anything to wipe
that smug smile off his face.
Ooh! Try turpentine.
Herc, instead of
demolishin' the joint,
why don't you just win the
Poseidon's cup yourself?
It'll look great on
your hero resume,
and you'll get to rub
it in princy boy's face.
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
Except... We don't have a boat.
Granted, it ain't much,
but if it weren't
for this little tub,
Jason would still be stuffing
pimentos at the olive works.
Thanks anyway, Phil, but I
don't think I'd have a chance
against a racing
yacht like The Insipid.
Well, not with that
attitude, you don't.
So it's a fixer-upper.
With me as your helmsman,
you could row a
bucket and win, baby.
Together, we're unsink...
It couldn't hurt to get Poseidon
on your good side either.
You know, make an
offering, sacrifice something.
I'm not a strong swimmer!
Him, for example.
Help me!
♪ There's just a
couple days left ♪
♪ But the prize is still
Within your reach ♪
♪ Get to it, you
know you can do it ♪
♪ If you put your
heads together ♪
♪ And apply a
little elbow grease ♪
♪ Get to it, you
know you can do it ♪
♪ Come on, boys,
it's not too late ♪
♪ To whip this
sorry ship in shape ♪
♪ You can do it ♪
♪ It's not unthinkable ♪
♪ You can do it ♪
♪ You'll be unsinkable ♪
♪ Give it all you've got ♪
♪ And if that's not enough ♪
♪ It wouldn't hurt to drop ♪
♪ A drachma in Poseidon's cup ♪
Oh, ho ho! Check this out, huh?
Thanks to the race, every
Greek and his brother
is dishing up offerings.
Where is Poseidon
now, eh? Ha ha.
He's right here, baby.
Aww... you have
to read this, dear.
- Oh, yeah? What did they give me?
- Just read it, it's sweet.
"Dear Poseidon,
you are my very,
very, very favorite god.
Because without you,
we wouldn't have water,
and we really,
really need water.
But since we're on the subject,
"why all the
salt? I don't get it."
Well, who wrote this?
Oh, hey, it's the kid who
flew too close to the sun.
Ha ha ha. Loser!
But, honey, this is
what it's all about.
This boy appreciates you.
Amphitrite, my dear,
this is what it's
all about! Heh heh!
Ha ha ha!
Ho! That's it, partner.
We are now official participants
in the Poseidon Cup Regatta.
But, Icarus, I don't
think our boat...
Oh, ho, look, a fellow mariner.
Pardon me while I fraternize.
Yar! Ahoy, matey!
Uh, batten down the
poop deck, me hearties.
Yo-ho! Yo, thar, swabby?
Eh, I'm Ted,
activities director.
On the Deucalion
magic cruise line.
Deck chair?
OK! That is one salty sea dog!
Hang on... I'm getting a vision.
A boat... A boat sinking.
Oh! Oh! Thanks for
reminding me, hon.
We still need a good luck
charm for our boat. Come on.
Ooh. Bleh. Aye!
Ooh! Bleh! Wow.
Amphitrite.
Beauty.
Herc. Herc...
- Herc!
- Can we get out of here
before disaster strikes?
Wait. Is that who I think it is?
It's Hilas, Greece's
bad boy of rowing.
Now can we get out of here?
Whoa! Check out his chariot.
Now, Hilas, you've
broken every rowing record
and won every regatta.
What will keep you motivated
for the Poseidon's cup?
Homer, it's simple.
I'll be getting one obscene
boatload of drachma
to row The Insipid.
Soon the Poseidon's cup
will belong to Team Thrace.
Oh, I can taste victory.
Can you taste it, son? Can you?
Mm-hmm.
Delicious.
We've got the
winning combination,
the fastest ship in the islands,
every commercial
sponsor in Greece,
and the most powerful rower.
Ah, here he is now.
Hilas!
Whoo, ooh, ooh, ooh!
Whaa!
Ooh!
Aah!
Ooh! I'm telling
you, it winked at me.
Aah!
Ooh! Aah!
Aah!
Oof!
Whoa... whoa... whoa!
Whaa!
Aah!
Ooh!
My arms, I can't move my arms!
Now who's going to row The Insipid?
Adonis, if I lose the Poseidon's cup
because of this... your
servants are grounded.
No, Daddums! I'll
get you another rower.
Pick anyone. I'll get him.
He's a classmate
of yours, isn't he?
I want him!
Hercules? Daddums, no!
Yes! I want Hercules.
Ho! Check out the
Amphitrite's Wink.
The ship that's hip. The
trireme that's extreme.
The yacht that's not.
So, what is your angle?
What is your edge?
What is your, um,
um, modus operandi?
Worry not, Daedalus,
Hercules is on our team.
Ah... and he is
strong, abnormally so.
Herc, my friend.
- Friend?
- Oh, come on, we're buds.
Uh, yeah. Excuse
me, but I'm late.
Of course you are. You don't
even have a decent sun dial.
The Atlantis, it's the diver's
choice, waterproof to 500 feet...
And how do you expect to get
anywhere in sandals like that?
Imported from marathon,
designed by the
goddess of victory herself.
Ooh, do you feel that chill?
Here, dad made extras.
Adonis, you shouldn't.
Nonsense. Friends give.
In fact, I convinced daddums
that he should give you a chance to
row The Insipid in the Poseidon's cup.
Row for you? But I... I...
You'd be replacing Hilas.
Hilas, the bad boy of rowing?
Just picture the headlines:
Bye-bye, bad boy, hello, Herc.
You'd be famous.
You'd be admired.
You'd be, dare I say it, a hero.
Wow.
You're gonna what?
Icarus, Team Thrace needs me.
Well, what about team us?
I thought we were gonna wipe
the smug smile off Adonis' face?
Sure, at first,
but it... it turns out
Adonis isn't so bad after all.
I don't even know you.
Look, Team Thrace has a yacht.
It's... it's state-of-the-art
and everything.
Well, what's wrong
with Amphitrite's Wink?
I'm in this to win, and... and
Cassandra already called it,
the Wink is gonna sink.
Gah! Oh, is that right?
Well, I'd rather
sink in the Wink
then race for Thrace.
Then why don't you row her?
Well, maybe I will.
- Fine!
- Fine!
This time I set myself up,
and Herc knocked me down.
Your friend has just
strayed off course.
He'll find his way back.
Oh, easy for you... aah!
Hey! You talked!
Daedalus! Daedalus.
Stop it, stop it, stop it.
I know you lost your
abnormally strong partner.
It doesn't matter. We're
going to improvise.
And they worked into the night.
While the fancy
shmancy yacht club
had a real nice clambake. Mmm.
Wait a minute.
Aah... uhh.
What's our boy doing down there?
Where have you been, girl?
Hercules is the guest of honor.
Team Thrace
welcomes... Hercules!
This is weird. I mean, I
haven't even won anything yet,
and everyone's
treating me like a hero.
You are what you wear.
Hmph! Hercules.
He may have saved my life,
but he'll never take
my place, right, ladies?
- Did you say Hercules?
- Oh! The good boy of rowing?
But... but I'm...
I'm the bad boy.
Hey, look. I've... I've
got a risqué tattoo.
- Ah, Mr. Hercules?
- Hercules?
We'll take a question
from... Homer.
Hercules, is Team Thrace
ready for tomorrow's competition?
Ha ha. Well, Homer, I...
With myself at the helm
and my dear chum
Hercules at the oars,
our greatness shall
overshadow Poseidon himself!
- Right, partner?
- Team Thrace rules!
Are you saying you're
bigger than Poseidon?
Homer, heh heh, you
can quote me on that.
Mmm... Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm.
Guess there's nothing like
hob-nobbing with royalty
to make our boy feel a
little high and mighty himself.
It is a stunningly
handsome vessel.
The best money can buy.
Are you ready, son?
Ready to quit being
buddy-buddy with jerk...
Hercules, buddy! Ready to win?
Team Thrace rules.
You've got to be kidding me.
Ah, ha... Daedalus, I'm, uh...
getting wax wing
flashbacks here.
Nonsense. Pull the lever!
Just keep your hands on the helm
and my auto-oar will do the rest.
Extra ticket? Anyone
have an extra ticket?
Take it. Stupid regatta.
Oh, I knew it!
Oh, Herc, I knew you'd be back.
- This is gonna be great...
- Icarus, wait.
I just came by to wish you luck.
Oh!
Well, thanks,
but maybe I don't
need your good luck.
Well, then maybe I take it back.
- Fine!
- Fine!
It's not fine, guys.
My vision? Disaster?
Remember?
Too late. It already happened.
Oarsmen, helmsmen,
take your places!
As always, thanks for listening.
Welcome, mortals.
You have helped make my
Cup Regatta even more popular
than Bacchus'
taste of Caledonia.
- All right, Poseidon!
- All right!
Poseidon is back!
Enjoy the race, everyone.
But before we start,
who is Team Thrace?
- Right here!
- That's me!
Bigger than Poseidon, eh?
- He... he said it.
- Well... well, technically,
I'm really not on the team.
Let the race begin!
Heave ho, heave ho!
Keep going, we've got the lead!
- Whoa!
- Whoa!
Whoa!
Adonis, are you OK?
Just row,
and don't make Poseidon any
angrier than you already have.
Hey, I wasn't the
one who... Just row!
Aah!
Here comes Mr. Big Mouth.
I'll show them a big
mouth. Oh, Charybdis!
Hungry?
Thanks to you,
Poseidon is gonna sink us!
You're no hero, Hercules,
you're just a hired oar,
and that's all you'll ever be.
Team Thrace stinks.
What did you say? Aah!
Aah!
Uhh! Hold on!
We can still win.
Row, Hercules, row!
Slow down, skipper, slow down!
Oh, Herc!
Oh, you came back!
Come on, Icarus, jump!
No! A captain does
not abandon his ship.
Eew!
You did it! We're alive!
There.
Now my fans can see
me in all of my glory.
Here I go again.
Hercules! Help!
I'm too beautiful to die!
Uhh!
My son!
My yacht! No!
We have a winner. Ha ha ha.
And the Poseidon's
cup goes to...
Icarus?
Come on, honey.
You know he's the only
one who truly deserves it.
That's not true.
Yes, it is. Icarus earned this.
Earned? Ha ha ha.
What a ridiculous concept.
Hello, lady?
She was alive, I tell ya.
Congratulations, Icarus.
And, uh...
FYI, the salt brings out the
flavor in our favorite foods.
Winning is not everything,
but I am nevertheless
intensely happy.
Wow. Ho!
I really didn't have a speech,
but I'd like to thank
Poseidon and his missus.
Daedalus, couldn't have
done it without you, man.
And of course, my
lovely Cassandra.
And finally, a very
special whoopee
for my once and future
best friend, Hercules.
This time, he set me up... Mine!
So you could knock him down.
"glad" in gladiator? ♪
♪ Hercules ♪
♪ Whose daring deeds
are great theater? ♪
♪ Hercules ♪
♪ Is he bold? ♪
♪ No one braver ♪
♪ Is he sweet? ♪
♪ Our favorite
flavor, Hercules ♪
- ♪ What a guy ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Ask his friends ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
♪ Honey, they won't lie ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Ahh, Hercules ♪
♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Come on ♪
- ♪ No one's fool ♪
♪ Now, the boy's in school ♪
♪ He's in trainin' ♪
♪ Sun is shinin' ♪
♪ And the nicest guy ♪
♪ No complainin' ♪
♪ He was a no one ♪
♪ Zero, zero, give
him a quick deed ♪
♪ He's our hero ♪
♪ He's the most
likely to succeed ♪
♪ From zero to hero ♪
♪ Herc is a hero ♪
♪ He'll be a hero ♪
Wait and see!
Hah-hah! That's it.
Ha! Get 'em with a
left... Go on. Jab! Jab!
Knock 'em in the air bladder!
What? What?
That was not below the dorsal!
Uh-oh.
Elmer! Here, boy! Calamari.
Yum yum yum yum yum.
98... 99... Poseidon,
honey, I'm home!
100.
Oh, hey, cutie, I didn't
even hear you coming.
Whew, what a workout.
I earned a break.
Did you get the paper?
Not until you do your
post-workout stretch.
Besides, the Greekly World News
is nothing but gossip anyway.
Hey!
Good boy, Elmer.
Uh...
Come on, Amphitrite,
I always get a kick
out of the "Where are
they now?" column.
It's always some chump
drying out in the
Bellerophon clinic,
or some poor slob too fat to...
"Where is Poseidon now?"
You're scaring Elmer, honey.
Where am I? Ha!
Maybe a nice flash
flood will remind them.
Now, dear, this will not
help your public image.
Why don't you have a festival?
All the gods are
doing it these days,
Bacchus, Aphrodite...
Oh, I'd rather flood something!
Think about it. A whole
day devoted to you
and nobody else but you.
And so the God of the Sea
decreed the first annual
Poseidon's Cup Regatta.
Translation,
the big ol' fish decided to
throw a big ol' boat race.
Every sea-faring Greek...
And that's just about
all of 'em, honey.
Was soon catching
Poseidon's cup fever.
Oh, and, darling, even
Hercules was not about to miss
the hottest ticket
of the season.
Ow! Hey!
Oh! Sorry.
I just had a vision
that I was going
to sleep in line,
in a public square,
so I could buy tickets
for the Poseidon's Cup Regatta.
That was no vision. You did it.
OK, first thing after school,
I'm getting a life.
This is what separates
the hard-core Poseidon fans
from the wannabes.
Hey, the line's moving.
Three student
tickets for... Ohh!
Oh, poor baby.
I suppose your servants waited
in line for your tickets, Adonis.
Ticket? Ha! I'm racing.
I shall claim victory
for Team Thrace
in my father's
yacht, The Insipid.
Oh, yeah? Talk to
the hand, Adonis.
I mean, talk to this hand.
Oh, you stand behind
your convictions.
Cassandra, I set 'em up,
Herc knocks 'em down.
Oh... yeah?
Now, see, I never would
have thought of that pause
between "Oh" and "Yeah."
That's what makes
us a great team.
I'll show the winner's trophy
and tell about my
triumph in class.
Show and tell, hmm...
That could catch on.
I better copyright that quickly.
I'll give ya show and tell!
Don't tell me, Prim-Adonis?
I paint 'em up. Herc
punches 'em down.
It's therapeutic.
I'd do anything to wipe
that smug smile off his face.
Ooh! Try turpentine.
Herc, instead of
demolishin' the joint,
why don't you just win the
Poseidon's cup yourself?
It'll look great on
your hero resume,
and you'll get to rub
it in princy boy's face.
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
Except... We don't have a boat.
Granted, it ain't much,
but if it weren't
for this little tub,
Jason would still be stuffing
pimentos at the olive works.
Thanks anyway, Phil, but I
don't think I'd have a chance
against a racing
yacht like The Insipid.
Well, not with that
attitude, you don't.
So it's a fixer-upper.
With me as your helmsman,
you could row a
bucket and win, baby.
Together, we're unsink...
It couldn't hurt to get Poseidon
on your good side either.
You know, make an
offering, sacrifice something.
I'm not a strong swimmer!
Him, for example.
Help me!
♪ There's just a
couple days left ♪
♪ But the prize is still
Within your reach ♪
♪ Get to it, you
know you can do it ♪
♪ If you put your
heads together ♪
♪ And apply a
little elbow grease ♪
♪ Get to it, you
know you can do it ♪
♪ Come on, boys,
it's not too late ♪
♪ To whip this
sorry ship in shape ♪
♪ You can do it ♪
♪ It's not unthinkable ♪
♪ You can do it ♪
♪ You'll be unsinkable ♪
♪ Give it all you've got ♪
♪ And if that's not enough ♪
♪ It wouldn't hurt to drop ♪
♪ A drachma in Poseidon's cup ♪
Oh, ho ho! Check this out, huh?
Thanks to the race, every
Greek and his brother
is dishing up offerings.
Where is Poseidon
now, eh? Ha ha.
He's right here, baby.
Aww... you have
to read this, dear.
- Oh, yeah? What did they give me?
- Just read it, it's sweet.
"Dear Poseidon,
you are my very,
very, very favorite god.
Because without you,
we wouldn't have water,
and we really,
really need water.
But since we're on the subject,
"why all the
salt? I don't get it."
Well, who wrote this?
Oh, hey, it's the kid who
flew too close to the sun.
Ha ha ha. Loser!
But, honey, this is
what it's all about.
This boy appreciates you.
Amphitrite, my dear,
this is what it's
all about! Heh heh!
Ha ha ha!
Ho! That's it, partner.
We are now official participants
in the Poseidon Cup Regatta.
But, Icarus, I don't
think our boat...
Oh, ho, look, a fellow mariner.
Pardon me while I fraternize.
Yar! Ahoy, matey!
Uh, batten down the
poop deck, me hearties.
Yo-ho! Yo, thar, swabby?
Eh, I'm Ted,
activities director.
On the Deucalion
magic cruise line.
Deck chair?
OK! That is one salty sea dog!
Hang on... I'm getting a vision.
A boat... A boat sinking.
Oh! Oh! Thanks for
reminding me, hon.
We still need a good luck
charm for our boat. Come on.
Ooh. Bleh. Aye!
Ooh! Bleh! Wow.
Amphitrite.
Beauty.
Herc. Herc...
- Herc!
- Can we get out of here
before disaster strikes?
Wait. Is that who I think it is?
It's Hilas, Greece's
bad boy of rowing.
Now can we get out of here?
Whoa! Check out his chariot.
Now, Hilas, you've
broken every rowing record
and won every regatta.
What will keep you motivated
for the Poseidon's cup?
Homer, it's simple.
I'll be getting one obscene
boatload of drachma
to row The Insipid.
Soon the Poseidon's cup
will belong to Team Thrace.
Oh, I can taste victory.
Can you taste it, son? Can you?
Mm-hmm.
Delicious.
We've got the
winning combination,
the fastest ship in the islands,
every commercial
sponsor in Greece,
and the most powerful rower.
Ah, here he is now.
Hilas!
Whoo, ooh, ooh, ooh!
Whaa!
Ooh!
Aah!
Ooh! I'm telling
you, it winked at me.
Aah!
Ooh! Aah!
Aah!
Oof!
Whoa... whoa... whoa!
Whaa!
Aah!
Ooh!
My arms, I can't move my arms!
Now who's going to row The Insipid?
Adonis, if I lose the Poseidon's cup
because of this... your
servants are grounded.
No, Daddums! I'll
get you another rower.
Pick anyone. I'll get him.
He's a classmate
of yours, isn't he?
I want him!
Hercules? Daddums, no!
Yes! I want Hercules.
Ho! Check out the
Amphitrite's Wink.
The ship that's hip. The
trireme that's extreme.
The yacht that's not.
So, what is your angle?
What is your edge?
What is your, um,
um, modus operandi?
Worry not, Daedalus,
Hercules is on our team.
Ah... and he is
strong, abnormally so.
Herc, my friend.
- Friend?
- Oh, come on, we're buds.
Uh, yeah. Excuse
me, but I'm late.
Of course you are. You don't
even have a decent sun dial.
The Atlantis, it's the diver's
choice, waterproof to 500 feet...
And how do you expect to get
anywhere in sandals like that?
Imported from marathon,
designed by the
goddess of victory herself.
Ooh, do you feel that chill?
Here, dad made extras.
Adonis, you shouldn't.
Nonsense. Friends give.
In fact, I convinced daddums
that he should give you a chance to
row The Insipid in the Poseidon's cup.
Row for you? But I... I...
You'd be replacing Hilas.
Hilas, the bad boy of rowing?
Just picture the headlines:
Bye-bye, bad boy, hello, Herc.
You'd be famous.
You'd be admired.
You'd be, dare I say it, a hero.
Wow.
You're gonna what?
Icarus, Team Thrace needs me.
Well, what about team us?
I thought we were gonna wipe
the smug smile off Adonis' face?
Sure, at first,
but it... it turns out
Adonis isn't so bad after all.
I don't even know you.
Look, Team Thrace has a yacht.
It's... it's state-of-the-art
and everything.
Well, what's wrong
with Amphitrite's Wink?
I'm in this to win, and... and
Cassandra already called it,
the Wink is gonna sink.
Gah! Oh, is that right?
Well, I'd rather
sink in the Wink
then race for Thrace.
Then why don't you row her?
Well, maybe I will.
- Fine!
- Fine!
This time I set myself up,
and Herc knocked me down.
Your friend has just
strayed off course.
He'll find his way back.
Oh, easy for you... aah!
Hey! You talked!
Daedalus! Daedalus.
Stop it, stop it, stop it.
I know you lost your
abnormally strong partner.
It doesn't matter. We're
going to improvise.
And they worked into the night.
While the fancy
shmancy yacht club
had a real nice clambake. Mmm.
Wait a minute.
Aah... uhh.
What's our boy doing down there?
Where have you been, girl?
Hercules is the guest of honor.
Team Thrace
welcomes... Hercules!
This is weird. I mean, I
haven't even won anything yet,
and everyone's
treating me like a hero.
You are what you wear.
Hmph! Hercules.
He may have saved my life,
but he'll never take
my place, right, ladies?
- Did you say Hercules?
- Oh! The good boy of rowing?
But... but I'm...
I'm the bad boy.
Hey, look. I've... I've
got a risqué tattoo.
- Ah, Mr. Hercules?
- Hercules?
We'll take a question
from... Homer.
Hercules, is Team Thrace
ready for tomorrow's competition?
Ha ha. Well, Homer, I...
With myself at the helm
and my dear chum
Hercules at the oars,
our greatness shall
overshadow Poseidon himself!
- Right, partner?
- Team Thrace rules!
Are you saying you're
bigger than Poseidon?
Homer, heh heh, you
can quote me on that.
Mmm... Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm.
Guess there's nothing like
hob-nobbing with royalty
to make our boy feel a
little high and mighty himself.
It is a stunningly
handsome vessel.
The best money can buy.
Are you ready, son?
Ready to quit being
buddy-buddy with jerk...
Hercules, buddy! Ready to win?
Team Thrace rules.
You've got to be kidding me.
Ah, ha... Daedalus, I'm, uh...
getting wax wing
flashbacks here.
Nonsense. Pull the lever!
Just keep your hands on the helm
and my auto-oar will do the rest.
Extra ticket? Anyone
have an extra ticket?
Take it. Stupid regatta.
Oh, I knew it!
Oh, Herc, I knew you'd be back.
- This is gonna be great...
- Icarus, wait.
I just came by to wish you luck.
Oh!
Well, thanks,
but maybe I don't
need your good luck.
Well, then maybe I take it back.
- Fine!
- Fine!
It's not fine, guys.
My vision? Disaster?
Remember?
Too late. It already happened.
Oarsmen, helmsmen,
take your places!
As always, thanks for listening.
Welcome, mortals.
You have helped make my
Cup Regatta even more popular
than Bacchus'
taste of Caledonia.
- All right, Poseidon!
- All right!
Poseidon is back!
Enjoy the race, everyone.
But before we start,
who is Team Thrace?
- Right here!
- That's me!
Bigger than Poseidon, eh?
- He... he said it.
- Well... well, technically,
I'm really not on the team.
Let the race begin!
Heave ho, heave ho!
Keep going, we've got the lead!
- Whoa!
- Whoa!
Whoa!
Adonis, are you OK?
Just row,
and don't make Poseidon any
angrier than you already have.
Hey, I wasn't the
one who... Just row!
Aah!
Here comes Mr. Big Mouth.
I'll show them a big
mouth. Oh, Charybdis!
Hungry?
Thanks to you,
Poseidon is gonna sink us!
You're no hero, Hercules,
you're just a hired oar,
and that's all you'll ever be.
Team Thrace stinks.
What did you say? Aah!
Aah!
Uhh! Hold on!
We can still win.
Row, Hercules, row!
Slow down, skipper, slow down!
Oh, Herc!
Oh, you came back!
Come on, Icarus, jump!
No! A captain does
not abandon his ship.
Eew!
You did it! We're alive!
There.
Now my fans can see
me in all of my glory.
Here I go again.
Hercules! Help!
I'm too beautiful to die!
Uhh!
My son!
My yacht! No!
We have a winner. Ha ha ha.
And the Poseidon's
cup goes to...
Icarus?
Come on, honey.
You know he's the only
one who truly deserves it.
That's not true.
Yes, it is. Icarus earned this.
Earned? Ha ha ha.
What a ridiculous concept.
Hello, lady?
She was alive, I tell ya.
Congratulations, Icarus.
And, uh...
FYI, the salt brings out the
flavor in our favorite foods.
Winning is not everything,
but I am nevertheless
intensely happy.
Wow. Ho!
I really didn't have a speech,
but I'd like to thank
Poseidon and his missus.
Daedalus, couldn't have
done it without you, man.
And of course, my
lovely Cassandra.
And finally, a very
special whoopee
for my once and future
best friend, Hercules.
This time, he set me up... Mine!
So you could knock him down.