Hercules (1998–1999): Season 2, Episode 10 - Hercules and the Muse of Dance - full transcript

♪ Who put the
"glad" in gladiator? ♪

♪ Hercules ♪

♪ Whose daring deeds
are great theater? ♪

♪ Hercules ♪

- ♪ Is he bold? ♪
- ♪ No one braver ♪

- ♪ Is he sweet? ♪
- ♪ Our favorite flavor, Hercules ♪

- ♪ What a guy ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪

- ♪ Ask his friends ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪

♪ Honey, they won't lie ♪

- ♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Ahh, Hercules ♪

♪ Hercules ♪



- ♪ Come on ♪
- ♪ No one's fool ♪

♪ Now, the boy's in school ♪

♪ He's in trainin' ♪

♪ Smart and shy ♪

♪ And the nicest guy ♪

♪ No complainin' ♪

♪ He was a no
one, a zero, zero ♪

♪ He'll never quit
till he's a hero ♪

♪ He's the most
likely to succeed ♪

♪ From zero to hero ♪

♪ Herc is a hero ♪

♪ He'll be a hero ♪

Wait and see.

And... go!



Oof! Oof!

Ack! Oh! Ow!

Whoa!

Blech.

How'd I do?

Eh, kid, the object
of an obstacle course

is to go over, under,
or around the obstacles,

Not through them.

I know. It's just that sometimes my
feet don't exactly go where I aim them.

- Whoa!
- I've noticed.

We'll double up on
agility drills tonight.

Whoa! You got to get to school.

Hurry. You'll miss the barge.

Whoa!

Morning!

Oops! Sorry!

Syrinx, ooh, my darling nymph.

Don't you look, uh, delicious.

Upside-down cake. Ooh, my fave.

Oh, poor Hercules.

That boy is less coordinated
than a two-headed monkey.

Hey, he was like a three-headed
monkey when I took him on.

Of course, I'm not going
to teach him all my moves.

Oh, Philly, you are such a rake.

Wow, something
must be bothering you.

You kind of remind me of... me.

Phil says I just need
to "train smarter."

But I don't know,

I feel like I was born
with two left feet.

Oh, really? Whoa! Supercool!

Come on, take off your sandals.

Come on, give us a peek.

It's an expression.

Well, call it what you want,

but it's probably the reason
that Herc's so clumsy.

Oh, thanks.

Oh, come on. Cheer up.

You know what they say...

clumsiness is next to godliness.

Uh, I think it's
cleanliness, actually.

Clumsiness is
next to cleanliness?

Aah! Guess so.

Sorry I'm late,
coach Phys Oed...

Miss Thespis?

OK, people. Settle.

Now, coach Phys
Oedipus has taken...

an extended leave of absence,

which has nothing to do.

With the incident involving
Hercules and the shot put.

Six months in traction
and no solid foods.

It was an accident.

Well, you'd be the expert there.

Hmm. So with no gym coach,

somebody thought, "Miss
Thespis is the drama coach.

Close enough."

Oh, yes, this is perfect.

You know, I've always
viewed gym class as a combo

of comedy and tragedy.

Yeah, right, than-thanks
for sharing, Icarus.

OK, I've decided to make some
changes in the athletic program.

Finally, repeated proposals that
my servants run laps in my stead

have fallen on deaf ears.

Very creative,
Adonis, but uh-uh.

I have an even better idea.

Five, six, seven, eight.

We're all gonna dance!

What? Dance?

- No way!
- You're kidding?

Oh, no, no, no, no.

Girls and boys.

I have got a whole forest
of cute woodland animals

to cast for our
annual dance recital.

Whoo! Animals!
Well, I'll audition.

Gazelle, an interpretation.

Aah! Hamstring! I'm out.

Someone up there does like me.

Oh, Miss Thespis,

I believe we have
another volunteer...

Over here.

Hercules... uh, OK. Yeah, sure.

We'll just get these
shot puts out of your way.

And you're on.

Uh, I... I had this
big lunch, and, uh...

I'm feeling kinda
bloated. You know.

Yeah, who isn't, sunshine?

All right, and you're on!

Come on.

Try not to level the place.

All right, warm-up time.

One, two, three, four,

shake that shyness out the door.

Our boy Hercules is in trouble.

Yeah, you sing it, girl.

Time out.

I beg your pardon?

This is where we sing.

Musical enhancement
of the storytelling.

No! It's an inspiration
emergency.

We muses do more
than sing about the story.

You got that right, baby.

We also got to look
gorgeous 24-7, honey.

We inspire artistic greatness.

I will make this
boy bust a move!

Hmm. That's the only
thing he hasn't busted.

OK, Hercules. Show
us what you got.

Wait... OK.

Oh, man. Where's a fire
drill when you need one?

Honey, forget the fire drill.

You've got me.

Wha... who are you?

Terpsichore.

I'm your muse.

I have a muse? Ha! Cool!

Well, not just your muse.

I help anyone who needs it,

and, honey, you need it.

Hey, guys, I have a muse!

Whoa.

Don't worry. It's not permanent.

Whoa. Whoa! Wait!

And just where do
you think you're going?

I did not put everyone on
ice so you could run away.

But if I don't run now, I'm...
I'm... I'm gonna have to dance.

And that's exactly
what you're gonna do.

You don't understand. I'll
bring the house down... Literally.

You can do it. You can dance.

Did you know that I was
actually born with two left feet?

Hmm. I heard you were
born the son of Zeus,

So I figure you've got
the strength and courage

to do just about anything.

Heh. Even dance?

Don't worry.

I'll be with you every
two-step of the way.

Wait!

Oh, enough waiting!

Dance, Hercules! Dance!

Come on. Just
listen to the music.

But there isn't any music!

Music. He needs music.

Don't just stand there.

Twinkle toes needs music.

This ought to be rich.

- Shh.
- Shh.

♪ First let your
left foot wiggle ♪

♪ To the sound of a
shimmy shimmy shoup ♪

♪ Shimmy, shimmy ♪

- ♪ Shoup, shoup ♪
- ♪ oh, yeah ♪

♪ Then make your
right one wiggle ♪

♪ Like you're stirring
up a steamy soup ♪

♪ Stir it up ♪

- ♪ Soup soup ♪
- ♪ Honey ♪

♪ Now put a double
dose dip in your hip ♪

♪ And slip into
Terpsichore's trip ♪

♪ You gotta go where
the music moves you ♪

♪ Every hero's got
to take a chance ♪

♪ Do what the
rhythm tells you to do ♪

♪ Because, baby ♪

♪ You were born to dance ♪

♪ Ohh ♪

♪ You gotta trust your soul ♪

♪ Roll with the flow Of
a ballet or a bunny hop ♪

♪ Once you start to
sway In your natural way ♪

♪ You may find it hard to stop ♪

♪ You gotta go where
the music moves you ♪

♪ Every hero's got
to take a chance ♪

♪ Do what the
rhythm tells you to do ♪

♪ Because, baby ♪

♪ You were born to dance ♪

Glorious. Hercules,
I was inspired.

Yeah, so was I.

You must dance the
climactic grand jeté

of the Cerynean Hind!

Oh, really?

W-W-What... what...
what's a Cerynean Hind?

It's a deer, dear.

I shall be the Hind!

Oh, may I audition
for the recital, too?

- Me, too!
- I wanna be the muskrat.

I just wanna dance!

Whoa! What got into you?

Ah, the muse of
dance inspired me.

Ah! Listen to that!

He's even talking
like an artsy-smartsy.

I can foresee it
now. Thanks to you,

Every hero will be
required to wear tights.

Oh, great. I was hoping
my big success as a hero

would be a slaying of a
Hydra or conquering Titans,

not prancing around
in stretchy legwear.

Well, if you ask me, your big
success is what you didn't do.

Huh?

You didn't trip.
You didn't crash.

You didn't cause
structural damage.

Yeah, and for a guy
born with two left feet,

come on, you were
actually kind of graceful.

Hey, you guys are right.

For once, I feel like I can
get through sixth period

without any major
catastrophic consequences.

So how'd I do?

Unbelievable.

I knew my tips would get
you over your klutz problem.

Which was it? "Work
harder" or "train smarter"?

It's dancing.

Dancing?

I started dancing at school.

It's incredible.

I'm not clumsy anymore,

And I... I even get to be a hind

in the school dance recital.

Be a hind?

Ooh, I gotta run.
See ya, Philly.

Congratulations,
cutie. That's great.

Uh, I don't know if "great"

is the exact word I'd use.

Eh, don't get me wrong.

Dancing's a beautiful artistic
form of expression and all,

just, uh, not for
a hero-in-training.

Well, why not?

You see, uh, heroes don't dance.

It's not, uh, manly,

it's not dignified, and, well...

Uh, it's just plain...
Embarrassing.

My little girl is
datin' a goat-man?

I mean, a goat, fine.

A man, well, OK,

But an itty-bitty goat-man?

That's not done.

With all due respect,
Ephialtes, sir,

He's a satyr.

Who's a satyr, softwood?

The itty-bitty goat-man...

He's actually a satyr.

I don't care if he's
a fried potater.

I want him mashed!

Daddy! I'm sweet on Phil,

and there's nothing
you can do about it.

Oh, can't I now, little girl?

Daddy, please.

Would you just let me grow up?

Phil...

We're gonna whack
this weed, boys.

So I guess dancing the
role of the Cerynean Hind

just doesn't fit my
trainer's image of macho.

But wait! Oh, no, no, no.

Look. I already
made the costume.

Look at these antlers...
an eight-pointer.

How macho can you get?

I-I'm really sorry.

Bup... fiddup! No.
Don't utter another word.

Just go.

But maybe somebody else could...

Blipup. Blipupup.

So how'd it go?

Oh, I think she
took it pretty well.

You let Adonis shame
you into quitting?

It wasn't Adonis.

Well, if it isn't
Mr. Twinkle toes,

Fancy pants, tutu tights.

Give it up, Adonis.

I already quit the recital.

Oh, now what do I
do with my afternoon?

It's... it's Phil.

He thinks dancing will ruin
my chances to become a hero.

Some hero.

How could you drop out?

I... This would have been
our best dance recital ever.

Don't take this the
wrong way, Hercules,

But you've ruined everything.

But, Helen...

Why won't you let Hercules
dance in that recital?

Ooh, fescue.

What was the question?

You are being so
stubborn and hardheaded.

You remind me of my daddy,

stubborn old stick-in-the-mud.

Hmm. Sounds like my kind of guy.

Hey!

You know, if you
let Herc dance...

I love when you do that.

I could be your
date for the recital.

Maybe I was a bit rash.

Maybe?

You little nymph.

Come back here.

Whoa!

Ugh.

Oh, don't you "ugh" me.

Terpsichore.

Honey, last time I saw you,

you were dazzling the stage.

Now you're
wallowing in a mud pit.

Ugh. Where did I go wrong?

No offense, but I need
the muse of heroic fighting.

And... and action,
not the muse of dance.

There's a difference?

Don't heroes need strength?

Don't heroes need agility?

Don't heroes need
perfect timing?

It doesn't matter if
you're twirling in a tutu,

or trouncing a Titan.

Dancing makes you stronger,

faster, more confident,
and less clumsy.

But how do I tell Phil that?

You know what to say.

I do?

OK. I'm here.

I'll help.

Phil, honey, you listen,
and you listen good.

Huh?

Phil! Oh, hey.

Uh, uh, got a minute?

Kid, I know I've been
a bit thickheaded

about the whole dance thing...

Phil, if I wanna dance,

I'm gonna... hey, wait. Really?

Oh, that's great!

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What say I check
out your next...

Rehearsal.

Pathetic! You trees
make me sycamore!

Well, sir, we almost got him,

but for an itty-bitty
goat-man, I tell you what.

He is a hard target.

Mmm, what he said.

Stand down, sapling!

Just tell me where he is now.

Oh, I can't take it anymore.

Miss Thespis, the Cerynean
Hind is scaring Helen again.

Oh, Helen, come...

Ew, I know. He scares me, too.

Hey, this wasn't
my idea, all right?

I was happy to be peat moss
to my beloved Cassandra's rock.

If only I could
crawl under myself.

I don't care if you
want to be pond scum.

You're the hind,

Now, dance, you
little fool, dance.

Miss Thespis!

OK, OK, we'll try it again.

Places everyone.

Oh, Hercules!

Hercules!

Hercules?

My hero.

Oh, Phil, I'm so glad we came.

Aren't you?

Yeah. Whoa.

Are you seeing what I'm seeing?

Ewww.

I think he looks adorable.

Work it, honey.
You are the hind.

Oh, bravo!

Awesome, young buck. Oh, bravo.

Um, I am still the
understudy, right?

Icarus, you just be
the best darn peat moss

you can be.

Oh, Hercules.

I've never seen
such pretty prancing.

Have you?

Stop! Enough!

That's it, kid. Your days
as dancing doe are done.

But, Phil... If I told you once,

I told you a thousand times,

Heroes don't dance.

Now, you may not
like it, but trust me...

It's for your own good.

Now let's get outta here.

Huh? Yikes!

You're not going
anywhere, sitter.

Uh, that's "satyr," sir.

- Ooh, he's gonna be sadder, all right.
- Not what I said.

I'll protect you, my darling!

No!

I'd rather... aah!

Whoa!

Whoa, there must
be some mistake here.

I'll say. Don't worry, Phil.

I'll take care of this!

Aah! Don't worry, Phil.

Uh, Pegasus will
take care of this!

Well, I guess I can worry now.

Right now, you're
probably asking yourself,

"Is his bark worse
than his bite?"

Well, mister, it's right deadly.

Daddy!

Daddy?

Go home, Syrinx.

This is between me and
the itty-bitty goat-man.

Itty-bitty goat-man?

Unbranch him, Daddy.

If I've told you once, I've
told you a thousand times,

forest nymphs do not
date sayter... satur...

Itty-bitty goat-men!

Now, you may not like it, but
trust me. It's for your own good.

Hmm, something
sounds familiar here.

Listen!

If Syrinx wants to date
an itty-bitty goat-man...

Ow!

Again with the itty-bitty.

It's up to her!

- Aah!
- Yeah!

And if I wanna dance,
well, it's up to me!

Hey, hey, whoa,
now. Wait a minute.

And if my boys want
to grind you to mulch,

well, that's up to them.

Whoa!

Oh, my, my, my.

I'm afraid that poor boy
may never dance again.

Oh, yeah?

It's just you and me
now... One on one...

mano a... what are you, anyway?

Hercules!

I'm rooting for you, Phil!

I'm coming.

Just as soon as I... Aah!

Can't I leave you
for five minutes?

Terpsichore!

Can you get me out?

I'm the muse of dance, honey,

not the jaws of life.

Well, what should I do?

Feel the music.

What music?

- Huh? What?
- Huh?

You go, girl!

That is beautiful, yet morose,

haunting and
downright bone-chilling,

like a sad little bird.

I, too, find it sappy,

especially at this moment,

right when I'm about
to whoop your hide!

Now to burn this pile of
kindling once and for all.

Phil!

Hoo!

Phil!

Give it up, ballerina boy.

That's it, kid!

Dance! Dance like
my life depends on it.

That was beautiful, kid.

I never knew dancing
could be so heroic.

Does that mean you'll
let me dance in the recital?

Syrinx!

Oh, somebody save my baby!

Get down, dude. Feel the music.

Well, I reckon I'm stumped.

Anyone who'd risk their life

for my little girl is OK by me.

Mmm. Honey, if you
wanna date an itty-bit...

Um, Phil, you have
my oak, er, I mean, OK.

Thanks, Daddy,

and, Daddy, could you
do one more thing for me?

What's that, my
little sugar maple?

No more tree puns.
I'd be ever so grateful.

Ah, since it saved
my life and all,

I gotta admit, I was
wrong about dancing,

and I must say, you're
surprisingly graceful.

So I can dance in the recital?

We'll be sitting in
the front row, champ.