Hercules (1998–1999): Season 2, Episode 11 - Hercules and the Kids - full transcript
Hercules and a group of kindergarteners go on a field trip, and run into trouble soon afterwards.
♪ Who put the
"glad" in gladiator? ♪
♪ Hercules ♪
♪ Whose daring deeds
are great theater? ♪
♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Is he bold? ♪
- ♪ No one braver ♪
- ♪ Is he sweet? ♪
- ♪ Our favorite flavor, Hercules ♪
- ♪ What a guy ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Ask his friends ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
♪ Honey, they won't lie ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Ahh, Hercules ♪
♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Come on ♪
- ♪ No one's fool ♪
♪ Now, the boy's in school ♪
♪ He's in trainin' ♪
♪ Smart and shy ♪
♪ And the nicest guy ♪
♪ No complainin' ♪
♪ He was a no
one, a zero, zero ♪
♪ He'll never quit
till he's a hero ♪
♪ He's the most
likely to succeed ♪
♪ From zero to hero ♪
♪ Herc is a hero ♪
♪ He'll be a hero ♪
Wait and see.
The Gordian knot,
legend foretold that
whoever could undo it
would unite the world.
That thing? Well, that
don't look so tough.
Whoo!
Like I said, that is
one complicated knot.
So, how did our
boy Herc untie it?
He didn't. Alexander
the Great did.
Uh, Bobby, baby, I don't
want to bust your bubble,
but the name of this
show is Hercules.
The story should have
something to do with him.
Oh, but it does.
Our story begins at the
prestigious Prometheus Academy,
or rather, at the prestigious
Prometheus Jr. Academy.
So the hare ran his fastest,
but that slow and
steady tortoise
beat him to the finish line.
- Yay! Good story!
- That was a great story!
Well, thank you.
And now let's sing our
"Happy Gods" song.
Yay!
♪ Bacchus makes
our parties great ♪
♪ He bakes us happy
birthday cakes ♪
Thank you for coming
in on such short notice.
No problem. I like kids.
♪ In the east to bring
The happy sun to Greece ♪
♪ That's why we're
smiling all day long ♪
♪ And singing out
this happy song ♪
Well, Mr. Aesop
has got to get going,
but I'll be back next
week with more stories.
Yay!
Goodbye, Mr. Aesop!
Well, that was fun, wasn't it?
Now, I know all you
children are excited
about your nature
hike with Mr. Botanus...
Yay!
But unfortunately
he's sick today.
Oh... Mr. Botanus is sick?
What if we get sick, too?
Oh, I feel sick.
Alcides, you'll be fine.
Anyhoo, we have a
special teacher's helper
from the big boys' and
girls' Prometheus Academy.
Hercules is a...
Well, why don't
I let him tell you?
Hello, boys and girls.
I am Hercules,
a hero-in-training.
Uh, who can tell
me what a hero is?
Hero-in-training? Geek.
I want to go on the field trip.
Hey, look... I got
another loose tooth.
I know you're a
little disappointed,
but I'll do my best to...
I want to go on the field trip!
Well, uh, I could take
you on that field trip.
Really?
Are you sure you're up to this?
You know, they can be a handful.
Please. I'm a hero-in-training.
I can handle a few
kids for an afternoon.
It's just a nature hike.
What could go wrong?
Plenty, especially when
two hungry monsters
are out hunting
for their dinner.
Asheron, that one looks good.
He's moving towards the web.
Come on, baby, go for that web.
Just a few inches more.
Move, you little
tiny morsel, you.
Go, you stupid slab of meat!
Ow!
No!
A little help here, Asheron.
Hold still. You're too squirmy.
Didn't I tell you that a
web was a bad idea?
I said, "You can't catch
big game with a web."
You're laying blame again.
Yeah, but I'm hungry!
And screaming is gonna
fill your belly how, Achnus?
Yelling will help in what way?
All I'm asking is a
little less hostility, OK?
A little less sarcasm
if possible, hmm?
Fine. Fine.
Now, can we get hunting, please?
The hunger pangs are killing me.
Uh, OK, if everyone
could just form
a single-file line right here.
Kids?
Mr. Hercules, kiss my
sun-and-fun Aphrodite doll.
Uh, Callista, big
boys don't kiss dollies.
Kiss my dolly now!
Kiss her! Kiss her!
- Kiss her! Kiss her!
- OK! OK, OK.
Mr. Hercules kissed my dolly.
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Alex, have you been
behind me the entire time?
Why aren't you playing
with the other kids?
I don't play with them too much.
Besides, my sandals are untied.
Well, here, let me
help you with that.
Watch. Cross over,
loop, around, and through,
And then pull like a butterfly.
Thanks. I have
trouble with knots.
Alexander the geek
can't tie his own sandals.
Ha!
Not everybody wears
horseshoes, Brutus.
Teasing hurts, huh?
Nah, I'm used to it.
Oh, all right, gang,
Uh... Simmer down!
Now that I have your attention,
form a line, please.
OK, this will be a long hike.
I'm going to need a second-in-command
to keep this rowdy group in order.
Me! Me! Me!
Pick me! Pick me!
Alex, how would you
like to have the job?
Oh, not Alexander the geek. Ugh!
You'll be in charge
of the map, OK?
I'm not too good
with that kind of stuff,
Mr. Hercules.
Come on, Alex. I
have faith in you.
Well... OK, I'll do it.
Oh, unbelievable.
Alex, you're going to be great.
OK, gang, Let's stick together.
We don't want
anyone to get lost.
Lost?
Are there scary
animals out here?
Could they eat us?
Well, as a hero-in-training,
I'm prepared for any...
- Mr. Hercules.
- Unforeseen event.
My tooth came out.
Almost any unforeseen event.
♪ Poseidon fills the happy sea ♪
♪ With lots of fish
for you and me ♪
♪ Iris paints the happy skies ♪
♪ With rainbows
that delight our eyes ♪
♪ Morpheus does magic things ♪
♪ He brings us lots
of happy dreams ♪
♪ That's why we're
smiling all day long ♪
♪ And singing out
this happy song ♪
Ugh!
Whew!
♪ Bacchus makes
our parties great ♪
♪ He bakes us happy
birthday cakes ♪
♪ Cupid's arrows fill the air ♪
♪ With happy love
for all to share ♪
♪ Apollo rises in the east ♪
♪ To bring the happy
sun to Greece ♪
♪ That's why we're
smiling all day long ♪
♪ And singing out
this happy song ♪
Hmm... ♪ Poseidon
fills the happy sea ♪
♪ With lots of fish
for you and me ♪
♪ Iris paints the happy skies ♪
No, please stop
singing! I'm begging you!
Stop singing!
Are you all right, Mr. Hercules?
Is it story time?
Yeah, tell us a story... now!
Yeah, yeah, OK, OK.
Uh, let's see... Hey,
ah, an almond tree.
Do you kids know
the story of Phyllis
and the almond tree?
Is it one of
Mr. Aesop's stories?
Oh, no, no, no,
it's much better.
You see, Phyllis was
a very sad woman
because her husband, Acamas,
went away on a long journey.
And so Athena
took mercy on Phyllis
and turned her
into an almond tree.
Ha ha ha.
You can get turned into
a tree 'cause you're sad?
No, no, there's more...
Is that Phyllis right there?
No, no, I don't think...
Did you just eat one
of Phyllis' eyeballs?
No, no, it's nothing like that.
Do all sad people
get turned into trees?
If that tree is not
Phyllis then who is it?
Guys, it's just... it's a story.
I like Mr. Aesop's
stories better.
Knots.
- I hate knots.
- No, no...
Trouble tying your
sandals, doofus?
I don't think...
- Are all of these trees sad people?
- Uh oh!
Hey, second-in-command,
I got a salute for you.
- Bam!
- Ow!
The map!
- Your fault!
- Your fault!
The maps gone! Are we lost?
Are there monsters out here?
Nothing to worry about.
All we have to do is go
back the way we came.
We'll be home by dinner, OK?
OK, we're lost.
Mr. Hercules, this
tooth came out, too.
Another one?
I want to go home.
We're never going
to get home, are we?
We're going to get
eaten by the monsters,
and we'll never see
our mommies again.
Guys, there aren't any monsters.
We haven't seen any monsters.
We aren't going to see any monsters.
Aah! Monster! Monster!
No, no, no, Callista,
Callista, it's just a little lizard.
See? He's harmless.
Really?
Yeah.
He's as afraid of
you as you are of him.
Uh, Mr. Hercules,
what about those?
Are they afraid of us, too?
You sticking with that no
monster story, big shot?
Monster! Monster! Monster!
Hey, stop it! Don't run so fast!
You get all sweaty, and
then you get too salty.
I'm watching my sodium.
Alex, make sure
the others are safe.
I'll hold off the monsters.
Um, OK.
Whoa. I didn't know there would
be pointed weapons involved.
So, do you surrender?
Not now! Not ever! En garde!
En garde!
Oh, nice move,
Achnus. Excellent parry.
Oh, thank you.
Ow!
Up till the end, you
were doing great.
I'll be right back.
Mr. Hercules, In here!
I miss my mommy.
Hey, we'll make
it back just fine.
You'll see. Try
not to be sad, OK?
Yeah. If we're sad,
we'll get turned
into almond trees!
You're not going to be
turned into an almond tree.
Why did I ever tell that story?
Mr. Hercules, I
lost another tooth.
Ugh... He is not! Take it back!
Make me, dummy head.
Hey, you two, stop it.
He started it.
He said it's your
fault that we got lost
and that you're a dummy head.
We'd be home by now
if you hadn't given the
map to Alexander the geek!
Ow! Hey, your
father's going to hear
about your behavior
when we get back.
If we get back, big shot.
Don't let Brutus get
to you, Mr. Hercules.
I have faith in you.
You do?
Yeah. You're a hero.
Hero-in-training.
I wouldn't mind seeing
my mommy right about now.
Hey, you know what? We should
sing the "Happy Gods" song.
That always makes
me feel better.
Yeah!
Whatever.
Why not? Maybe
we'll stop Alcides
from turning into
an almond tree.
Kidding, I'm so kidding.
All right, everybody.
♪ Bacchus makes
our parties great ♪
♪ He bakes us happy
birthday cakes ♪
♪ Cupid's arrows fill the air ♪
♪ With happy love
for all to share ♪
♪ Apollo rises in the east ♪
♪ To bring the happy
sun to Greece ♪
Wait! Mr. Hercules,
Apollo's chariot
rises in the east.
If you know which way is east,
can't you get us,
like, not un-lost?
Kids, I know the way home.
♪ Aeolus blows a happy breeze ♪
♪ To dance among
the swaying trees ♪
♪ Demeter grows us happy crops ♪
♪ To satisfy our
chomping chops ♪
♪ Zeus is happy,
wise, and just ♪
♪ He's always watching over us ♪
♪ That's why we're
smiling all day long ♪
♪ And singing out
this happy song ♪
♪ Aeolus blows a happy breeze ♪
♪ To dance among
the swaying trees ♪
♪ Demeter grows us happy crops ♪
Callista. Has
anyone seen callista?
Callista dropped her dolly,
and she said she
has to go get it.
Perfect. I'll go get her.
Don't go anywhere.
You're in charge, Alex.
OK. Wait. Me?
There you are.
I've been looking
all over for you.
I'm very mad.
We feel exactly the same way.
Aah!
Ow!
Did the dirt taste good?
'Cause that's all we're going
to eat if you don't catch them!
Ah, temper, Achnus, temper.
My dolly. I dropped my dolly.
Callista, I'm sorry, it's
too dangerous to go back.
I want my dolly!
Give me my dolly!
OK, well, since
you put it that way...
Here. Now, don't drop it again.
Thank you, Mr. Hercules.
Aah!
My leg... it's numb.
Hurry, Mr. Hercules!
Yes! Now we're
getting somewhere.
Careful. There's
nothing more dangerous
than a wounded hero when
he's protecting his young.
Aah!
Aah!
Move your lazy carcass.
Run, Mr. Hercules!
Hurry! Hurry!
Whoa! Aah!
Oops. Too much weightage.
Whoa!
Aah!
Asheron!
Mr. Hercules!
He'll be OK. He'll be OK.
Whoo! We got the big one!
Oh, no!
All righty, it's chow time.
Wait. We eat him now,
and the bite-size treats
are going to get away.
Right. Good point.
You web him up,
and I'll go get them.
OK.
Gone again? What
is it with these kids?
Oh, man, those monsters
are going to eat Mr. Hercules.
Then they'll eat us.
I don't want a
monster to eat me.
I do not want to
be an almond tree.
That's it! Game over,
baby, game over!
Stop it!
Snap out of it, man!
If we're going to
save Mr. Hercules,
we're going to have
to do a little growing up.
I know we're only
kindergärtners,
but today we have to
act like third graders.
Do you understand me?
Oh, we're going to
save Mr. Hercules?
Ha! Anybody who
thinks we can save him
is a dummy head!
Well, then call me a dummy head.
Poor blanky.
Do you want to
save Mr. Hercules?
Do you want to go home?
Yes! Uh, sorry.
How's that doll coming?
Almost done. Want to kiss her?
Yuck! I'm no dolly kisser.
That enough teeth, Alex?
Hmm... can you give me one more?
How's that?
Great! Now let's just, um...
Here. You tie it.
This is still a dummy-head plan.
Everyone is entitled
to an opinion, Brutus,
Except you.
Move out!
You sure this is
where they were?
Yes, I'm sure. They
were right here.
Don't be snippy. How far could
they get on two little stubby legs, huh?
Brutus, you're on!
There they are!
Good job, team!
Let's go, go, go!
Aah!
Close the jaw
and get your lazy
carcass down there!
OK, I'm on it.
Kids, untie me fast.
OK, Mr. Hercules.
Mmm, appetizers
and a main course.
Come on, kids, hurry!
Knots! Why did it
have to be knots?
I hate knots!
I almost got it.
Oh!
Hey, way to go,
Alex. Quick thinking.
It was? Really?
Stand back, kids.
Come on now. A doll?
Yeah. You want to kiss it?
Ow!
Aah!
Oh, I feel kind of wobbly.
Don't you fall on me.
You never listen.
Way to go, Mr. H.
We didn't die.
You're a hero.
No. What saved you guys was
some quick thinking and leadership.
The real hero here is Alex.
For innovative thinking,
courage, and leadership.
Let's hear it for
Alexander the Great!
Yay!
And that is how
Alexander the geek
became Alexander the Great,
for it was he who solved
the puzzle of the Gordian knot
by cutting through what
others could not untie,
all thanks to a lesson
in unorthodox thinking
provided by his mentor Hercules,
coincidentally the
star of our show.
Hercules really helped
that kid become something.
Yes, he did, but don't
be too impressed.
Great as he was, he never
did learn to tie his sandals.
"glad" in gladiator? ♪
♪ Hercules ♪
♪ Whose daring deeds
are great theater? ♪
♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Is he bold? ♪
- ♪ No one braver ♪
- ♪ Is he sweet? ♪
- ♪ Our favorite flavor, Hercules ♪
- ♪ What a guy ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Ask his friends ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
♪ Honey, they won't lie ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Ahh, Hercules ♪
♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Come on ♪
- ♪ No one's fool ♪
♪ Now, the boy's in school ♪
♪ He's in trainin' ♪
♪ Smart and shy ♪
♪ And the nicest guy ♪
♪ No complainin' ♪
♪ He was a no
one, a zero, zero ♪
♪ He'll never quit
till he's a hero ♪
♪ He's the most
likely to succeed ♪
♪ From zero to hero ♪
♪ Herc is a hero ♪
♪ He'll be a hero ♪
Wait and see.
The Gordian knot,
legend foretold that
whoever could undo it
would unite the world.
That thing? Well, that
don't look so tough.
Whoo!
Like I said, that is
one complicated knot.
So, how did our
boy Herc untie it?
He didn't. Alexander
the Great did.
Uh, Bobby, baby, I don't
want to bust your bubble,
but the name of this
show is Hercules.
The story should have
something to do with him.
Oh, but it does.
Our story begins at the
prestigious Prometheus Academy,
or rather, at the prestigious
Prometheus Jr. Academy.
So the hare ran his fastest,
but that slow and
steady tortoise
beat him to the finish line.
- Yay! Good story!
- That was a great story!
Well, thank you.
And now let's sing our
"Happy Gods" song.
Yay!
♪ Bacchus makes
our parties great ♪
♪ He bakes us happy
birthday cakes ♪
Thank you for coming
in on such short notice.
No problem. I like kids.
♪ In the east to bring
The happy sun to Greece ♪
♪ That's why we're
smiling all day long ♪
♪ And singing out
this happy song ♪
Well, Mr. Aesop
has got to get going,
but I'll be back next
week with more stories.
Yay!
Goodbye, Mr. Aesop!
Well, that was fun, wasn't it?
Now, I know all you
children are excited
about your nature
hike with Mr. Botanus...
Yay!
But unfortunately
he's sick today.
Oh... Mr. Botanus is sick?
What if we get sick, too?
Oh, I feel sick.
Alcides, you'll be fine.
Anyhoo, we have a
special teacher's helper
from the big boys' and
girls' Prometheus Academy.
Hercules is a...
Well, why don't
I let him tell you?
Hello, boys and girls.
I am Hercules,
a hero-in-training.
Uh, who can tell
me what a hero is?
Hero-in-training? Geek.
I want to go on the field trip.
Hey, look... I got
another loose tooth.
I know you're a
little disappointed,
but I'll do my best to...
I want to go on the field trip!
Well, uh, I could take
you on that field trip.
Really?
Are you sure you're up to this?
You know, they can be a handful.
Please. I'm a hero-in-training.
I can handle a few
kids for an afternoon.
It's just a nature hike.
What could go wrong?
Plenty, especially when
two hungry monsters
are out hunting
for their dinner.
Asheron, that one looks good.
He's moving towards the web.
Come on, baby, go for that web.
Just a few inches more.
Move, you little
tiny morsel, you.
Go, you stupid slab of meat!
Ow!
No!
A little help here, Asheron.
Hold still. You're too squirmy.
Didn't I tell you that a
web was a bad idea?
I said, "You can't catch
big game with a web."
You're laying blame again.
Yeah, but I'm hungry!
And screaming is gonna
fill your belly how, Achnus?
Yelling will help in what way?
All I'm asking is a
little less hostility, OK?
A little less sarcasm
if possible, hmm?
Fine. Fine.
Now, can we get hunting, please?
The hunger pangs are killing me.
Uh, OK, if everyone
could just form
a single-file line right here.
Kids?
Mr. Hercules, kiss my
sun-and-fun Aphrodite doll.
Uh, Callista, big
boys don't kiss dollies.
Kiss my dolly now!
Kiss her! Kiss her!
- Kiss her! Kiss her!
- OK! OK, OK.
Mr. Hercules kissed my dolly.
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Alex, have you been
behind me the entire time?
Why aren't you playing
with the other kids?
I don't play with them too much.
Besides, my sandals are untied.
Well, here, let me
help you with that.
Watch. Cross over,
loop, around, and through,
And then pull like a butterfly.
Thanks. I have
trouble with knots.
Alexander the geek
can't tie his own sandals.
Ha!
Not everybody wears
horseshoes, Brutus.
Teasing hurts, huh?
Nah, I'm used to it.
Oh, all right, gang,
Uh... Simmer down!
Now that I have your attention,
form a line, please.
OK, this will be a long hike.
I'm going to need a second-in-command
to keep this rowdy group in order.
Me! Me! Me!
Pick me! Pick me!
Alex, how would you
like to have the job?
Oh, not Alexander the geek. Ugh!
You'll be in charge
of the map, OK?
I'm not too good
with that kind of stuff,
Mr. Hercules.
Come on, Alex. I
have faith in you.
Well... OK, I'll do it.
Oh, unbelievable.
Alex, you're going to be great.
OK, gang, Let's stick together.
We don't want
anyone to get lost.
Lost?
Are there scary
animals out here?
Could they eat us?
Well, as a hero-in-training,
I'm prepared for any...
- Mr. Hercules.
- Unforeseen event.
My tooth came out.
Almost any unforeseen event.
♪ Poseidon fills the happy sea ♪
♪ With lots of fish
for you and me ♪
♪ Iris paints the happy skies ♪
♪ With rainbows
that delight our eyes ♪
♪ Morpheus does magic things ♪
♪ He brings us lots
of happy dreams ♪
♪ That's why we're
smiling all day long ♪
♪ And singing out
this happy song ♪
Ugh!
Whew!
♪ Bacchus makes
our parties great ♪
♪ He bakes us happy
birthday cakes ♪
♪ Cupid's arrows fill the air ♪
♪ With happy love
for all to share ♪
♪ Apollo rises in the east ♪
♪ To bring the happy
sun to Greece ♪
♪ That's why we're
smiling all day long ♪
♪ And singing out
this happy song ♪
Hmm... ♪ Poseidon
fills the happy sea ♪
♪ With lots of fish
for you and me ♪
♪ Iris paints the happy skies ♪
No, please stop
singing! I'm begging you!
Stop singing!
Are you all right, Mr. Hercules?
Is it story time?
Yeah, tell us a story... now!
Yeah, yeah, OK, OK.
Uh, let's see... Hey,
ah, an almond tree.
Do you kids know
the story of Phyllis
and the almond tree?
Is it one of
Mr. Aesop's stories?
Oh, no, no, no,
it's much better.
You see, Phyllis was
a very sad woman
because her husband, Acamas,
went away on a long journey.
And so Athena
took mercy on Phyllis
and turned her
into an almond tree.
Ha ha ha.
You can get turned into
a tree 'cause you're sad?
No, no, there's more...
Is that Phyllis right there?
No, no, I don't think...
Did you just eat one
of Phyllis' eyeballs?
No, no, it's nothing like that.
Do all sad people
get turned into trees?
If that tree is not
Phyllis then who is it?
Guys, it's just... it's a story.
I like Mr. Aesop's
stories better.
Knots.
- I hate knots.
- No, no...
Trouble tying your
sandals, doofus?
I don't think...
- Are all of these trees sad people?
- Uh oh!
Hey, second-in-command,
I got a salute for you.
- Bam!
- Ow!
The map!
- Your fault!
- Your fault!
The maps gone! Are we lost?
Are there monsters out here?
Nothing to worry about.
All we have to do is go
back the way we came.
We'll be home by dinner, OK?
OK, we're lost.
Mr. Hercules, this
tooth came out, too.
Another one?
I want to go home.
We're never going
to get home, are we?
We're going to get
eaten by the monsters,
and we'll never see
our mommies again.
Guys, there aren't any monsters.
We haven't seen any monsters.
We aren't going to see any monsters.
Aah! Monster! Monster!
No, no, no, Callista,
Callista, it's just a little lizard.
See? He's harmless.
Really?
Yeah.
He's as afraid of
you as you are of him.
Uh, Mr. Hercules,
what about those?
Are they afraid of us, too?
You sticking with that no
monster story, big shot?
Monster! Monster! Monster!
Hey, stop it! Don't run so fast!
You get all sweaty, and
then you get too salty.
I'm watching my sodium.
Alex, make sure
the others are safe.
I'll hold off the monsters.
Um, OK.
Whoa. I didn't know there would
be pointed weapons involved.
So, do you surrender?
Not now! Not ever! En garde!
En garde!
Oh, nice move,
Achnus. Excellent parry.
Oh, thank you.
Ow!
Up till the end, you
were doing great.
I'll be right back.
Mr. Hercules, In here!
I miss my mommy.
Hey, we'll make
it back just fine.
You'll see. Try
not to be sad, OK?
Yeah. If we're sad,
we'll get turned
into almond trees!
You're not going to be
turned into an almond tree.
Why did I ever tell that story?
Mr. Hercules, I
lost another tooth.
Ugh... He is not! Take it back!
Make me, dummy head.
Hey, you two, stop it.
He started it.
He said it's your
fault that we got lost
and that you're a dummy head.
We'd be home by now
if you hadn't given the
map to Alexander the geek!
Ow! Hey, your
father's going to hear
about your behavior
when we get back.
If we get back, big shot.
Don't let Brutus get
to you, Mr. Hercules.
I have faith in you.
You do?
Yeah. You're a hero.
Hero-in-training.
I wouldn't mind seeing
my mommy right about now.
Hey, you know what? We should
sing the "Happy Gods" song.
That always makes
me feel better.
Yeah!
Whatever.
Why not? Maybe
we'll stop Alcides
from turning into
an almond tree.
Kidding, I'm so kidding.
All right, everybody.
♪ Bacchus makes
our parties great ♪
♪ He bakes us happy
birthday cakes ♪
♪ Cupid's arrows fill the air ♪
♪ With happy love
for all to share ♪
♪ Apollo rises in the east ♪
♪ To bring the happy
sun to Greece ♪
Wait! Mr. Hercules,
Apollo's chariot
rises in the east.
If you know which way is east,
can't you get us,
like, not un-lost?
Kids, I know the way home.
♪ Aeolus blows a happy breeze ♪
♪ To dance among
the swaying trees ♪
♪ Demeter grows us happy crops ♪
♪ To satisfy our
chomping chops ♪
♪ Zeus is happy,
wise, and just ♪
♪ He's always watching over us ♪
♪ That's why we're
smiling all day long ♪
♪ And singing out
this happy song ♪
♪ Aeolus blows a happy breeze ♪
♪ To dance among
the swaying trees ♪
♪ Demeter grows us happy crops ♪
Callista. Has
anyone seen callista?
Callista dropped her dolly,
and she said she
has to go get it.
Perfect. I'll go get her.
Don't go anywhere.
You're in charge, Alex.
OK. Wait. Me?
There you are.
I've been looking
all over for you.
I'm very mad.
We feel exactly the same way.
Aah!
Ow!
Did the dirt taste good?
'Cause that's all we're going
to eat if you don't catch them!
Ah, temper, Achnus, temper.
My dolly. I dropped my dolly.
Callista, I'm sorry, it's
too dangerous to go back.
I want my dolly!
Give me my dolly!
OK, well, since
you put it that way...
Here. Now, don't drop it again.
Thank you, Mr. Hercules.
Aah!
My leg... it's numb.
Hurry, Mr. Hercules!
Yes! Now we're
getting somewhere.
Careful. There's
nothing more dangerous
than a wounded hero when
he's protecting his young.
Aah!
Aah!
Move your lazy carcass.
Run, Mr. Hercules!
Hurry! Hurry!
Whoa! Aah!
Oops. Too much weightage.
Whoa!
Aah!
Asheron!
Mr. Hercules!
He'll be OK. He'll be OK.
Whoo! We got the big one!
Oh, no!
All righty, it's chow time.
Wait. We eat him now,
and the bite-size treats
are going to get away.
Right. Good point.
You web him up,
and I'll go get them.
OK.
Gone again? What
is it with these kids?
Oh, man, those monsters
are going to eat Mr. Hercules.
Then they'll eat us.
I don't want a
monster to eat me.
I do not want to
be an almond tree.
That's it! Game over,
baby, game over!
Stop it!
Snap out of it, man!
If we're going to
save Mr. Hercules,
we're going to have
to do a little growing up.
I know we're only
kindergärtners,
but today we have to
act like third graders.
Do you understand me?
Oh, we're going to
save Mr. Hercules?
Ha! Anybody who
thinks we can save him
is a dummy head!
Well, then call me a dummy head.
Poor blanky.
Do you want to
save Mr. Hercules?
Do you want to go home?
Yes! Uh, sorry.
How's that doll coming?
Almost done. Want to kiss her?
Yuck! I'm no dolly kisser.
That enough teeth, Alex?
Hmm... can you give me one more?
How's that?
Great! Now let's just, um...
Here. You tie it.
This is still a dummy-head plan.
Everyone is entitled
to an opinion, Brutus,
Except you.
Move out!
You sure this is
where they were?
Yes, I'm sure. They
were right here.
Don't be snippy. How far could
they get on two little stubby legs, huh?
Brutus, you're on!
There they are!
Good job, team!
Let's go, go, go!
Aah!
Close the jaw
and get your lazy
carcass down there!
OK, I'm on it.
Kids, untie me fast.
OK, Mr. Hercules.
Mmm, appetizers
and a main course.
Come on, kids, hurry!
Knots! Why did it
have to be knots?
I hate knots!
I almost got it.
Oh!
Hey, way to go,
Alex. Quick thinking.
It was? Really?
Stand back, kids.
Come on now. A doll?
Yeah. You want to kiss it?
Ow!
Aah!
Oh, I feel kind of wobbly.
Don't you fall on me.
You never listen.
Way to go, Mr. H.
We didn't die.
You're a hero.
No. What saved you guys was
some quick thinking and leadership.
The real hero here is Alex.
For innovative thinking,
courage, and leadership.
Let's hear it for
Alexander the Great!
Yay!
And that is how
Alexander the geek
became Alexander the Great,
for it was he who solved
the puzzle of the Gordian knot
by cutting through what
others could not untie,
all thanks to a lesson
in unorthodox thinking
provided by his mentor Hercules,
coincidentally the
star of our show.
Hercules really helped
that kid become something.
Yes, he did, but don't
be too impressed.
Great as he was, he never
did learn to tie his sandals.