Hercules (1998–1999): Season 2, Episode 2 - Hercules and the Visit from Zeus - full transcript
♪ Who put the
"glad" in gladiator? ♪
♪ Hercules ♪
♪ Whose daring deeds
are great theater? ♪
♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Is he bold? ♪
- ♪ No one braver ♪
- ♪ Is he sweet? ♪
- ♪ Our favorite flavor, Hercules ♪
- ♪ What a guy ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Ask his friends ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
♪ Honey, they won't lie ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Ahh, Hercules ♪
♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Come on ♪
- ♪ No one's fool ♪
♪ Now, the boy's in school ♪
♪ He's in trainin' ♪
♪ Smart and shy ♪
♪ And the nicest guy ♪
♪ No complainin' ♪
♪ He was a no
one, a zero, zero ♪
♪ He'll never quit
till he's a hero ♪
♪ He's the most
likely to succeed ♪
♪ From zero to hero ♪
♪ Herc is a hero ♪
♪ He'll be a hero ♪
Wait and see.
Amazing! Fantastic!
Now, that's what I call
a geography project.
What is it?
A map of the world.
Careful.
Watch out!
I spent several
excruciatingly tedious minutes
hiring a professional
to construct that model.
Your geography
projects are all lovely.
I will begin the grading
with Prince Adonis'
model volcano.
Miss Cassiopeia, if
I may demonstrate,
it's a working model.
Oh!
Aah!
Surf's up. OK.
Inspirational,
Adonis. Alpha-plus.
What's not to lava?
Ha ha ha... lava.
Now, then, Mr. Hercules.
Hmm. This is rather
unconventional.
It's a map of the world.
Well, it was.
Oh, dear.
Well, I'll give you
an incomplete.
Perhaps you could aspire
to something more
like Adonis' fine effort.
You did that on purpose.
So the traveling salesman
asks, "What do you think?"
And the farmer's wife,
she says, "I don't know.
It's all Greek to me."
Ha ha ha!
"Greek to me." get it? Ha ha ha.
Oh... oh, yeah. That's
a good one, Father.
Is something wrong, son?
I wouldn't want to bore you.
That's what these
father-son chats are for.
Am I right, Hermes?
Zeus, babe, they
don't come any righter.
OK, there's this creep
at school named Adonis.
Now we're getting somewhere.
- Is he a Titan?
- No.
- Monster?
- Unh-unh.
A demigod?
He's mortal.
Obnoxious, but mortal.
Oh. Well, you...
You just have to
show him who's boss.
How? I mean, sure, sometimes I
feel like thrashing him, and I could,
but that wouldn't
be very heroic.
Oh, but you're my boy.
It's not that simple.
He's a prince, and I'm...
A son of Zeus.
Start acting like it.
That's great on Mt. Olympus,
but where I live, it's
another story, Dad.
Up there, down here...
Put him in his place.
End of story!
You don't know what it's like.
You wouldn't last 24
hours as a human teenager.
Hermes, does he
seem peevish to you?
With all due respect, large
guy, cut him some slack.
I mean, you
banished your father.
That was different. He
tried to swallow me whole.
- Oh, here we go.
- Ha! Watch this.
Aah!
Whoops. Back in a flash.
I feel like a kid again, Hermes.
It's you, sir.
Ha!
OK, bottom line, I'm
stuck way down here,
Cold, damp, lots
of, brrr, dead people.
Zeus, on the other
hand, is way up there
at the all-you-can-eat
ambrosia buffet.
Objective, reverse positions.
Hey!
Cerberus, drop it.
Come on now, drop it.
Lousy mutt. We're
living in bones "R" us,
And he's got to use
my stuff for a chew toy.
Hey, hey, listen up!
Look, me master, you
obedient pup, got it?
Ugh.
Ugh. Pain! Panic!
Present and accounted
for, your churlishness.
- Nice doggies.
- Uh, good doggies.
When you two were
whining about getting a puppy,
what did I say?
"You have to walk it.
You have to feed it."
Did I not?
- I guess I'm really more of a cat person.
- Aah!
- Whoa!
Down, boys. Nice doggies.
Help! Ow!
Oy, I could have had a
nice three-headed goldfish.
Prepare yourself, Icarus.
Today is the day I beat Adonis.
Ha! At dodge ball? Yeah, right.
Shh, here comes Phys. Oedipus.
OK, you all know the rules.
Throw the ball as
hard as you can
at anything that moves.
You may not run.
You may not hide.
Last one standing wins,
and, people, please,
please remember,
we're here to have fun, OK?
Ready, set...
OK, go get 'em, pal.
I'll be cowering
right behind you.
Uh-oh.
Hey, what's with that kid?
He's not cowering.
This time I've got him.
Gee, that was close.
Huh? I can't be out. I had him.
Hey, remember,
as one door closes,
another one opens.
Ow. Whoa.
Think of this as a
learning experience, OK?
Aah!
Who is that new guy?
You mean Mr. "I
cower for no man"?
Who is that guy?
Oh. Oh.
He cheated. The
sun was in my eyes.
Aw, come on now. You
just got to pick yourself up,
Dust yourself off, and,
well, you know the rest.
Oh, that was so great!
I'm Hercules. Call me Herc.
I'm Zeu... Ach!
Eh, Zach. The name's Zach.
That person is about to discover
that I can be a very royal pain.
Hermes.
How goes the second childhood,
your splendidness?
Aces. I showed Hercules.
Uh, technically, sir,
with all due respect,
You didn't really satisfy
the Herc challenge.
Come again?
Well, the gig was to be a
mortal teenager for 24 hours,
and you used your Godly powers.
OK. Fine.
There... I'm mortal!
Oh, sir, I didn't mean...
Now, let's go home.
I've got that
deep-down nectar thirst.
Uh, well, remember
Olympus' immigration policy...
Uh, no mortals allowed?
See, you've got that
mortal thing happening now.
Uh, why not try a
bed and breakfast?
I hear they're fabulous.
But this is ludicrous, absurd...
I-i-it's unfair!
Welcome to your teens.
Whoa! Hey, slow down!
Come on, heel! Heel! Come on!
Find a tree or
something already.
You know what I'm
saying? A little... hey!
Bad puppy!
Come on, put that down!
Hades, have you no control
over that fleabag of yours?
Ladies, forgive me. I'm sorry.
He's a bit... how shall
I say? Rambunctious.
Drop it already!
What is it? Come here.
What is this? It's a... yuck.
It's... it's an eyeball. OK...
There... I'm mortal!
Oops! Ha ha ha.
You weren't
supposed to see that.
Right, understood.
Just out of curiosity,
That kid with
Hermes, who was that?
There was something kind
of vaguely familiar about him.
No, absolutely not!
Yeah, all right...
unless, of course...
Sister... You'll keep
that beast locked up.
H-he's... sit, sit.
He's in the doghouse
for, like, ever.
OK? Boom, done, gone.
Well... all right.
That boy is Zeus.
Zeus! Right, of course.
Voice, it should have
been a dead giveaway that,
Zeus? You mean,
the biggest cheese
in the universe is mortal,
As in no longer immortal,
as in susceptible to
becoming, you know,
my province, deceased?
Yes.
Yes!
Sharpen those scissors, ladies.
We've got a
thread of life to cut.
You should have seen
the look on Adonis' face
when that ball hit him
in the gut, wham! Ha ha.
He was laid out
flat. It was beautiful.
Interesting. We haven't
seen your petty side before.
I like it.
Of course, I take no pleasure
in the suffering of others.
I just expect that Adonis
will be a better person.
For the experience.
Uh-huh.
Hey, great to see
you again, zach.
I'd like you to meet Cassandra.
Charmed, I'm sure.
Anyone who can humiliate
Adonis is a friend of mine.
Zach, you're, you're amazing.
You're the kind of guy who
can really shake things up.
No, no. No, no, no, and no.
Come on, don't you see?
There's a natural order to
life which cannot be upset.
I mean, the last person dumb
enough to challenge Adonis
on his first day of
school was, uh...
Well, actually,
it was you, Herc.
Looks like we have
a lot in common, pal.
More than you think.
Target sighted.
Poor Zeus.
He had a lot to learn
about teenage cruelty.
And what better
teacher than Adonis?
Honey, it's a Greek tragedy.
Objective, humiliation.
♪ There's repercussions
From the choice he chose ♪
♪ You got to watch your
back And stay on your toes ♪
♪ You should have listened
To your young son's woes ♪
♪ Now you know what
every teenager knows ♪
♪ It's hard as Hades, honey ♪
♪ When you can't use
the power of Zeus ♪
♪ You got the screamin'
Grecian teenage ♪
♪ Awkward in-between age blues ♪
♪ You're used to doing
Anything you please ♪
♪ But as a mortal,
you're no big cheese ♪
♪ Here on Earth ♪
♪ You're just another
target to tease ♪
♪ You're having
second thoughts ♪
♪ Now that you're
feeling the squeeze ♪
♪ You don't need
the Oracle of Delphi ♪
♪ To give you the news ♪
♪ Oh, no, no, no ♪
♪ You got those screamin'
Grecian teenage ♪
♪ Uup the hatch and mean age ♪
♪ Awkward in-between age blues ♪
Hermes. Hermes, get down here.
Yeah, I've only got a minute.
Hephaestus is
after Athena again.
Waste of time if you ask me,
which nobody ever does,
thank you very much.
I give up. Hercules was right.
I can't cut it as a mortal.
Get me out of here.
I feel your pain, honest I do.
But you made the rules.
You just have to wait it out.
Nobody knows what
it's like to be me, man!
Yeah, sorry. Got to jet.
But, sir, that was
authentically adolescent.
All right, one more time.
You go on the
paper, you don't eat it.
You got the concept?
Ooh! Now we're talking.
There's only one
God in the universe
who can fill out
a chiton like this.
My patience is
starting to wear...
It's out, OK?
Come on, it's gone.
Boom, no more patience.
I'm trying to find
Zeus, and you are...
Hmm.
Marauding bloodhound,
Mortal Zeus.
Dog that destroys
everything in its path,
enemy that needs
to be destroyed.
Perfecto!
Ha!
You want the toy? Come on.
You want the toy?
It's OK. Let's go get it.
Come on, sniff it out.
Like this. Where is it? Come
on, come on you can do it.
Come on. Come on, already!
Jeez! You got a nose
the size of a barn.
Three of them, you got three
big, wet, sloppy, come on.
Atta baby. You want
him? Go get him!
Go! Fetch! Seize!
Mangle! Shred!
Right. Go right.
There you go. Get him.
I know that look.
Adonis.
Buck up. You just have
to show him who's boss.
That is quite possibly the
lamest advice I ever heard.
Yeah, I know. My
dad said it to me.
I thought maybe you'd
find it more inspiring.
Well, sorry. I'm
kind of late for class.
Hang in there, Zach!
Whoa!
Oh, my gosh!
Hades.
Hmm, Zach. You know,
it's hard not to gloat here,
so I'm just going
to go with it, OK?
♪ Zeus is going to get eaten ♪
♪ I'm taking over ♪
♪ Ha na-na-na-na ♪
You'll never get
away with this, Hades!
Uh, wrong. OK! Hey!
There's a new tough
God in town, people,
And his name is Hades,
large and in charge.
Hades, this will
not go unpunished.
By whom, mortal you?
Forgive me if I fail to tremble.
Go ahead. Knock yourself out.
Go, chomp!
Leave my friend alone...
Please?
This is so great on,
like, so many levels.
Hades? When my father finds out
that you're meddling
in mortal affairs...
Well, I got news
for you, junior.
Daddy's standing
right next to you,
And when it comes
to mortal affairs,
he's right in the
thick of things.
Isn't that right, Zeus?
Huh?
Like father, like
son. Like, ciao.
- Aah!
- Aah!
Let me just make
sure I got this straight.
You turned yourself
into a teenager?
I wanted to prove you wrong.
It didn't exactly work.
Well, fine. Just change back.
I love this part. He can't.
He actually made
himself mortal. You get it?
Why would you do that?
My boyish impetuosity?
Fetch!
Good thinking, son!
OK, let's try this again.
Fetch!
Ah, tenacious beast.
Tell me about it.
Get it, boy!
Uh... boys.
Hello!
The idea is to fetch them.
Back here!
Man, what I wouldn't
give for a thunderbolt.
Sorry, Father. Us mortals have to
find other solutions to our problems.
Come on, son.
Is it my imagination,
or is he slowing down?
Hey, he's a puppy.
You played with
him, you fed him...
Maybe it's nap time.
They say that music
soothes the savage beast.
♪ Close your eyes ♪
♪ Until the new day ♪
♪ Let the magic of Morpheus ♪
♪ Whisk you away ♪
♪ To the stars in the heavens ♪
♪ Where dreams all come true ♪
♪ High atop Mt. Olympus ♪
♪ Zeus is watching over you ♪
But how could you
know that song?
My mom... my mortal mom...
Used to sing that song
to me as I fell asleep.
And I listened every night.
Just because you were living on
Earth didn't mean I stopped caring.
Oh. I, uh, I owe you
a big apology, Father.
I shot my mouth
off without thinking.
Nonsense. It's
been an education.
I've gained a great deal
of respect for you, son.
This is so touching.
It's so moving.
I get a lump in my
throat the size of Crete.
He is actually kind of cute.
Hey... ahem... remember me?
Little old Lord of
the Underworld,
which is, incidentally,
where you're headed, Zeus.
You'll have to fry
me first, Hades.
I can deal with that.
Out of the way, son.
This is between me
and my
gloom-from-the-tomb brother.
I hate to see
families in conflict.
I'll tell you what,
I'm kind of a softy.
I'll torture you both
at once. How's that?
Going down!
Mighty one, your 24
hours of mortalhood is up.
OK, great.
Somebody might have
mentioned a pertinent tidbit
of information
like a time limit.
We did tell Hades about
that time limit, didn't we?
Ha ha. He'll figure it out.
OK, hey, I don't want to
intrude on your tender moment.
You know, it's like a tender...
Besides, I think we all learned
a little lesson here today.
The kid finds out that you care,
you find out being
human is, hey, no picnic,
And me... I learned
that, you know,
fry first and gloat
later, so, uh...
Hyah-ha!
Have a nice trip.
See you next fall.
Oy!
I still can't believe you
became mortal just for me.
- Thanks.
- Oh, posh.
You're my boy, my boy.
Well, forget about Adonis.
I'll figure out a way
to deal with him.
Very mature of you, son.
There's no point in wasting
your energy on a creep like him.
Bow and step to the side.
Commoners to the left,
nobodies to the right.
All make way for the royal me.
Then again, that kid
is practically wearing
a "smite me" sign.
Aah!
What?
"glad" in gladiator? ♪
♪ Hercules ♪
♪ Whose daring deeds
are great theater? ♪
♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Is he bold? ♪
- ♪ No one braver ♪
- ♪ Is he sweet? ♪
- ♪ Our favorite flavor, Hercules ♪
- ♪ What a guy ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Ask his friends ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
♪ Honey, they won't lie ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Ahh, Hercules ♪
♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Come on ♪
- ♪ No one's fool ♪
♪ Now, the boy's in school ♪
♪ He's in trainin' ♪
♪ Smart and shy ♪
♪ And the nicest guy ♪
♪ No complainin' ♪
♪ He was a no
one, a zero, zero ♪
♪ He'll never quit
till he's a hero ♪
♪ He's the most
likely to succeed ♪
♪ From zero to hero ♪
♪ Herc is a hero ♪
♪ He'll be a hero ♪
Wait and see.
Amazing! Fantastic!
Now, that's what I call
a geography project.
What is it?
A map of the world.
Careful.
Watch out!
I spent several
excruciatingly tedious minutes
hiring a professional
to construct that model.
Your geography
projects are all lovely.
I will begin the grading
with Prince Adonis'
model volcano.
Miss Cassiopeia, if
I may demonstrate,
it's a working model.
Oh!
Aah!
Surf's up. OK.
Inspirational,
Adonis. Alpha-plus.
What's not to lava?
Ha ha ha... lava.
Now, then, Mr. Hercules.
Hmm. This is rather
unconventional.
It's a map of the world.
Well, it was.
Oh, dear.
Well, I'll give you
an incomplete.
Perhaps you could aspire
to something more
like Adonis' fine effort.
You did that on purpose.
So the traveling salesman
asks, "What do you think?"
And the farmer's wife,
she says, "I don't know.
It's all Greek to me."
Ha ha ha!
"Greek to me." get it? Ha ha ha.
Oh... oh, yeah. That's
a good one, Father.
Is something wrong, son?
I wouldn't want to bore you.
That's what these
father-son chats are for.
Am I right, Hermes?
Zeus, babe, they
don't come any righter.
OK, there's this creep
at school named Adonis.
Now we're getting somewhere.
- Is he a Titan?
- No.
- Monster?
- Unh-unh.
A demigod?
He's mortal.
Obnoxious, but mortal.
Oh. Well, you...
You just have to
show him who's boss.
How? I mean, sure, sometimes I
feel like thrashing him, and I could,
but that wouldn't
be very heroic.
Oh, but you're my boy.
It's not that simple.
He's a prince, and I'm...
A son of Zeus.
Start acting like it.
That's great on Mt. Olympus,
but where I live, it's
another story, Dad.
Up there, down here...
Put him in his place.
End of story!
You don't know what it's like.
You wouldn't last 24
hours as a human teenager.
Hermes, does he
seem peevish to you?
With all due respect, large
guy, cut him some slack.
I mean, you
banished your father.
That was different. He
tried to swallow me whole.
- Oh, here we go.
- Ha! Watch this.
Aah!
Whoops. Back in a flash.
I feel like a kid again, Hermes.
It's you, sir.
Ha!
OK, bottom line, I'm
stuck way down here,
Cold, damp, lots
of, brrr, dead people.
Zeus, on the other
hand, is way up there
at the all-you-can-eat
ambrosia buffet.
Objective, reverse positions.
Hey!
Cerberus, drop it.
Come on now, drop it.
Lousy mutt. We're
living in bones "R" us,
And he's got to use
my stuff for a chew toy.
Hey, hey, listen up!
Look, me master, you
obedient pup, got it?
Ugh.
Ugh. Pain! Panic!
Present and accounted
for, your churlishness.
- Nice doggies.
- Uh, good doggies.
When you two were
whining about getting a puppy,
what did I say?
"You have to walk it.
You have to feed it."
Did I not?
- I guess I'm really more of a cat person.
- Aah!
- Whoa!
Down, boys. Nice doggies.
Help! Ow!
Oy, I could have had a
nice three-headed goldfish.
Prepare yourself, Icarus.
Today is the day I beat Adonis.
Ha! At dodge ball? Yeah, right.
Shh, here comes Phys. Oedipus.
OK, you all know the rules.
Throw the ball as
hard as you can
at anything that moves.
You may not run.
You may not hide.
Last one standing wins,
and, people, please,
please remember,
we're here to have fun, OK?
Ready, set...
OK, go get 'em, pal.
I'll be cowering
right behind you.
Uh-oh.
Hey, what's with that kid?
He's not cowering.
This time I've got him.
Gee, that was close.
Huh? I can't be out. I had him.
Hey, remember,
as one door closes,
another one opens.
Ow. Whoa.
Think of this as a
learning experience, OK?
Aah!
Who is that new guy?
You mean Mr. "I
cower for no man"?
Who is that guy?
Oh. Oh.
He cheated. The
sun was in my eyes.
Aw, come on now. You
just got to pick yourself up,
Dust yourself off, and,
well, you know the rest.
Oh, that was so great!
I'm Hercules. Call me Herc.
I'm Zeu... Ach!
Eh, Zach. The name's Zach.
That person is about to discover
that I can be a very royal pain.
Hermes.
How goes the second childhood,
your splendidness?
Aces. I showed Hercules.
Uh, technically, sir,
with all due respect,
You didn't really satisfy
the Herc challenge.
Come again?
Well, the gig was to be a
mortal teenager for 24 hours,
and you used your Godly powers.
OK. Fine.
There... I'm mortal!
Oh, sir, I didn't mean...
Now, let's go home.
I've got that
deep-down nectar thirst.
Uh, well, remember
Olympus' immigration policy...
Uh, no mortals allowed?
See, you've got that
mortal thing happening now.
Uh, why not try a
bed and breakfast?
I hear they're fabulous.
But this is ludicrous, absurd...
I-i-it's unfair!
Welcome to your teens.
Whoa! Hey, slow down!
Come on, heel! Heel! Come on!
Find a tree or
something already.
You know what I'm
saying? A little... hey!
Bad puppy!
Come on, put that down!
Hades, have you no control
over that fleabag of yours?
Ladies, forgive me. I'm sorry.
He's a bit... how shall
I say? Rambunctious.
Drop it already!
What is it? Come here.
What is this? It's a... yuck.
It's... it's an eyeball. OK...
There... I'm mortal!
Oops! Ha ha ha.
You weren't
supposed to see that.
Right, understood.
Just out of curiosity,
That kid with
Hermes, who was that?
There was something kind
of vaguely familiar about him.
No, absolutely not!
Yeah, all right...
unless, of course...
Sister... You'll keep
that beast locked up.
H-he's... sit, sit.
He's in the doghouse
for, like, ever.
OK? Boom, done, gone.
Well... all right.
That boy is Zeus.
Zeus! Right, of course.
Voice, it should have
been a dead giveaway that,
Zeus? You mean,
the biggest cheese
in the universe is mortal,
As in no longer immortal,
as in susceptible to
becoming, you know,
my province, deceased?
Yes.
Yes!
Sharpen those scissors, ladies.
We've got a
thread of life to cut.
You should have seen
the look on Adonis' face
when that ball hit him
in the gut, wham! Ha ha.
He was laid out
flat. It was beautiful.
Interesting. We haven't
seen your petty side before.
I like it.
Of course, I take no pleasure
in the suffering of others.
I just expect that Adonis
will be a better person.
For the experience.
Uh-huh.
Hey, great to see
you again, zach.
I'd like you to meet Cassandra.
Charmed, I'm sure.
Anyone who can humiliate
Adonis is a friend of mine.
Zach, you're, you're amazing.
You're the kind of guy who
can really shake things up.
No, no. No, no, no, and no.
Come on, don't you see?
There's a natural order to
life which cannot be upset.
I mean, the last person dumb
enough to challenge Adonis
on his first day of
school was, uh...
Well, actually,
it was you, Herc.
Looks like we have
a lot in common, pal.
More than you think.
Target sighted.
Poor Zeus.
He had a lot to learn
about teenage cruelty.
And what better
teacher than Adonis?
Honey, it's a Greek tragedy.
Objective, humiliation.
♪ There's repercussions
From the choice he chose ♪
♪ You got to watch your
back And stay on your toes ♪
♪ You should have listened
To your young son's woes ♪
♪ Now you know what
every teenager knows ♪
♪ It's hard as Hades, honey ♪
♪ When you can't use
the power of Zeus ♪
♪ You got the screamin'
Grecian teenage ♪
♪ Awkward in-between age blues ♪
♪ You're used to doing
Anything you please ♪
♪ But as a mortal,
you're no big cheese ♪
♪ Here on Earth ♪
♪ You're just another
target to tease ♪
♪ You're having
second thoughts ♪
♪ Now that you're
feeling the squeeze ♪
♪ You don't need
the Oracle of Delphi ♪
♪ To give you the news ♪
♪ Oh, no, no, no ♪
♪ You got those screamin'
Grecian teenage ♪
♪ Uup the hatch and mean age ♪
♪ Awkward in-between age blues ♪
Hermes. Hermes, get down here.
Yeah, I've only got a minute.
Hephaestus is
after Athena again.
Waste of time if you ask me,
which nobody ever does,
thank you very much.
I give up. Hercules was right.
I can't cut it as a mortal.
Get me out of here.
I feel your pain, honest I do.
But you made the rules.
You just have to wait it out.
Nobody knows what
it's like to be me, man!
Yeah, sorry. Got to jet.
But, sir, that was
authentically adolescent.
All right, one more time.
You go on the
paper, you don't eat it.
You got the concept?
Ooh! Now we're talking.
There's only one
God in the universe
who can fill out
a chiton like this.
My patience is
starting to wear...
It's out, OK?
Come on, it's gone.
Boom, no more patience.
I'm trying to find
Zeus, and you are...
Hmm.
Marauding bloodhound,
Mortal Zeus.
Dog that destroys
everything in its path,
enemy that needs
to be destroyed.
Perfecto!
Ha!
You want the toy? Come on.
You want the toy?
It's OK. Let's go get it.
Come on, sniff it out.
Like this. Where is it? Come
on, come on you can do it.
Come on. Come on, already!
Jeez! You got a nose
the size of a barn.
Three of them, you got three
big, wet, sloppy, come on.
Atta baby. You want
him? Go get him!
Go! Fetch! Seize!
Mangle! Shred!
Right. Go right.
There you go. Get him.
I know that look.
Adonis.
Buck up. You just have
to show him who's boss.
That is quite possibly the
lamest advice I ever heard.
Yeah, I know. My
dad said it to me.
I thought maybe you'd
find it more inspiring.
Well, sorry. I'm
kind of late for class.
Hang in there, Zach!
Whoa!
Oh, my gosh!
Hades.
Hmm, Zach. You know,
it's hard not to gloat here,
so I'm just going
to go with it, OK?
♪ Zeus is going to get eaten ♪
♪ I'm taking over ♪
♪ Ha na-na-na-na ♪
You'll never get
away with this, Hades!
Uh, wrong. OK! Hey!
There's a new tough
God in town, people,
And his name is Hades,
large and in charge.
Hades, this will
not go unpunished.
By whom, mortal you?
Forgive me if I fail to tremble.
Go ahead. Knock yourself out.
Go, chomp!
Leave my friend alone...
Please?
This is so great on,
like, so many levels.
Hades? When my father finds out
that you're meddling
in mortal affairs...
Well, I got news
for you, junior.
Daddy's standing
right next to you,
And when it comes
to mortal affairs,
he's right in the
thick of things.
Isn't that right, Zeus?
Huh?
Like father, like
son. Like, ciao.
- Aah!
- Aah!
Let me just make
sure I got this straight.
You turned yourself
into a teenager?
I wanted to prove you wrong.
It didn't exactly work.
Well, fine. Just change back.
I love this part. He can't.
He actually made
himself mortal. You get it?
Why would you do that?
My boyish impetuosity?
Fetch!
Good thinking, son!
OK, let's try this again.
Fetch!
Ah, tenacious beast.
Tell me about it.
Get it, boy!
Uh... boys.
Hello!
The idea is to fetch them.
Back here!
Man, what I wouldn't
give for a thunderbolt.
Sorry, Father. Us mortals have to
find other solutions to our problems.
Come on, son.
Is it my imagination,
or is he slowing down?
Hey, he's a puppy.
You played with
him, you fed him...
Maybe it's nap time.
They say that music
soothes the savage beast.
♪ Close your eyes ♪
♪ Until the new day ♪
♪ Let the magic of Morpheus ♪
♪ Whisk you away ♪
♪ To the stars in the heavens ♪
♪ Where dreams all come true ♪
♪ High atop Mt. Olympus ♪
♪ Zeus is watching over you ♪
But how could you
know that song?
My mom... my mortal mom...
Used to sing that song
to me as I fell asleep.
And I listened every night.
Just because you were living on
Earth didn't mean I stopped caring.
Oh. I, uh, I owe you
a big apology, Father.
I shot my mouth
off without thinking.
Nonsense. It's
been an education.
I've gained a great deal
of respect for you, son.
This is so touching.
It's so moving.
I get a lump in my
throat the size of Crete.
He is actually kind of cute.
Hey... ahem... remember me?
Little old Lord of
the Underworld,
which is, incidentally,
where you're headed, Zeus.
You'll have to fry
me first, Hades.
I can deal with that.
Out of the way, son.
This is between me
and my
gloom-from-the-tomb brother.
I hate to see
families in conflict.
I'll tell you what,
I'm kind of a softy.
I'll torture you both
at once. How's that?
Going down!
Mighty one, your 24
hours of mortalhood is up.
OK, great.
Somebody might have
mentioned a pertinent tidbit
of information
like a time limit.
We did tell Hades about
that time limit, didn't we?
Ha ha. He'll figure it out.
OK, hey, I don't want to
intrude on your tender moment.
You know, it's like a tender...
Besides, I think we all learned
a little lesson here today.
The kid finds out that you care,
you find out being
human is, hey, no picnic,
And me... I learned
that, you know,
fry first and gloat
later, so, uh...
Hyah-ha!
Have a nice trip.
See you next fall.
Oy!
I still can't believe you
became mortal just for me.
- Thanks.
- Oh, posh.
You're my boy, my boy.
Well, forget about Adonis.
I'll figure out a way
to deal with him.
Very mature of you, son.
There's no point in wasting
your energy on a creep like him.
Bow and step to the side.
Commoners to the left,
nobodies to the right.
All make way for the royal me.
Then again, that kid
is practically wearing
a "smite me" sign.
Aah!
What?