Hercules (1998–1999): Season 1, Episode 46 - Hercules and the Romans - full transcript
♪ Who put the
"glad" in gladiator? ♪
♪ Hercules ♪
♪ Whose daring deeds
are great theater? ♪
♪ Hercules ♪
♪ Is he bold? ♪
♪ No one braver ♪
♪ Is he sweet? ♪
♪ Our favorite
flavor, Hercules ♪
- ♪ What a guy ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Ask his friends ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
♪ Honey, they won't lie ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Ahh, Hercules ♪
♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Come on ♪
- ♪ No one's fool ♪
♪ Now, the boy's in school ♪
♪ He's in trainin' ♪
♪ Sun is shinin' ♪
♪ And the nicest guy ♪
♪ No complainin' ♪
♪ He was a no one ♪
♪ Zero, zero, give
him a quick deed ♪
♪ He's our hero ♪
♪ He's the most
likely to succeed ♪
♪ From zero to hero ♪
♪ Herc is a hero ♪
♪ He'll be a hero ♪
Wait and see!
And, finally, my model city
would include a
pantheon of heroes.
Ooh! Oh!
Perfect. Another city
destroyed by Mr. Hercules.
Well, flunkards, so far,
I'm very disappointed.
In your pitiful excuses
for model cities.
Mr. Adonis and his
so-called "Adonisville."
Not enough statues of me?
And, Miss Cassandra, with
her ridiculous city of the future.
And that brings
us to Mr. Icarus.
I trust you won't disappoint me.
Well, trust away, Mr. Herodotus.
OK. Uh, the time has
come to unveil my model city.
Prepare to be amazed
because it's really,
really, really good.
Oh, darn it!
Now I won't get to show off
my magnificent handiwork.
Well, see ya!
Mr. Icarus, I expect to
be amazed by your project
first thing Monday morning.
Yeah, well, it'll be
amazing, all right.
Humpf!
Whoo!
Oh, no, Icarus. That
rock crushed your model.
Actually, right now,
that rock is my model.
But yesterday you told
me all you had to do
was put on the
finishing touches.
You're gonna fail.
I will not!
My project may be a little late,
I may not know diddly
about planning a city,
but I'll do what generations of
students before me have done
when faced with
this same situation...
Go to the library
and copy some stuff.
Copy? Y... You're
not supposed to...
Why do you have
to fly to the library?
It's not just any library, pal.
Oh, no, indeed.
Icarus was flying to
the greatest library
in the history of humanity...
The library of Alexandria
in faraway Egypt...
A legendary institution
boasting scrolls on
every subject imaginable.
"City Planning Made Easy,"
"Hey, Let's Build A City."
"The Seven Habits Of
Highly Effective City Planners",
"How To Fly While Carrying
A Stack Of Heavy Scrolls."
Uh, yeah. You know what?
On second thought, I really
don't need that last one.
D'oh! That... might...
have... been a mistake.
Now, where am I?
Ah! Hmm.
Sparta, no. Ithaca, no.
Athens, no. Troy, no.
Hmm. I'm stumped.
Icarus did not realize it,
but he was flying over Rome,
the fabled city founded
by Romulus and Remus,
and the birthplace of the most
highly developed civilization
of the ancient world.
You're just gonna have
to trust me on this one.
Romulus, what am I
gonna do with you?
What?
What do you mean "what?"
Look at this!
"Up-and-coming city needs
god or gods for divine guidance.
500 years minimum experience
preferred. Self-starters a must."
Looks all right to me, Remus.
Hey! There's no zip
code! They all came back!
You know what that
means, you shtewnod?
No gods, zilcho, bupkis!
OK, I'm flying over... Si-beria.
Well, that's a start.
Hmm. Starting to rain.
Hey, there's the sun!
The sun!
Oh, man! Not again!
Aaaaahhh!
Not one single god is
coming to Rome, you bazoom!
So sue me!
I can't make a god
just drop out of the sky!
Aaaaaahhhhh!
- Holy...
- Duh...
Oof!
Sorry to just drop in like this.
Are you here for...
No, no, I can
explain everything.
Funny story, true story...
You see, I got
this thing from...
Hey, one of my
fliers got through!
♪ We got a god, we got a god ♪
- Beg pardon?
- Oh, Great God,
you have answered our
call and come to rule us.
From this day hence, your
every need will be fulfilled,
every wish granted,
as we build our
city in your image.
Capisce?
So, let me get this straight.
I'm your god.
- That's right.
- And I get anything I want.
You better believe it.
OK!
That clears it up for me!
There's really
nothing I can do, son.
Father, he hasn't
been seen all weekend.
I think he might be in trouble.
Well...
I suppose I could get you
some help from Nemesis.
The demigoddess of vengeance?
Yes, Nemesis.
Um, are you making that noise?
Don't you worry about
her. She's a great tracker.
A little intense,
but a nice kid once
you get to know her.
Ha! I'm sure she'll be happy
to help you any way she can.
Hercules, I'll be happy to
help you in any way I can.
Really?
What do you think?
Huh?
All right. Let's get this
chump-change job over
before I smite you.
Hey, this is fun!
Hey, sweetie, give me
another bite of that tomato pie,
would ya?
Ah, that is so good. There
is no place like Rome.
Oh, Great God
Icarus, are you happy?
We've carried out
your designs for Rome.
Yeah. Couldn't be happier!
Love the waterslide.
Love the ballpark.
You are so great a god,
that we are gonna throw
you a big, swingin' festival.
In honor of your greatness!
A festival?
Man! This god is gonna
get funky with his godly self
and make some noise, huh?
Yes, he was here. He
checked out several scrolls,
though, not our
newest arrival...
"1,000 Insults
For All Occasions."
It's available for circulation.
Someone has drawn a
mustache on this volume.
I will mete out a deadly
vengeance on whoever did this,
after I find this Icarus and
smite him for his crimes.
Um, I don't know
what my father told you,
but this job is really
more about tracking
and less about smiting, per se.
Well, how much
smiting will there be?
Uh, roughly... none.
What? No smiting? No smiting?
Oh, you are, you are so stupid,
you think a Minotaur
is short vacation.
Aaah!
I drop everything to
do your old man a favor,
and there's no
vengeance to wreak,
no retribution to be wrought?
Uh, well, uh,
m... maybe you can get in
some wreaking and wroughting
on your own time.
Oh, you will be sorry for this!
By the very gods
of Olympus, I shall...
Shhhh! Hush!
Can I smite him?
Great God Icarus, as the
day of your festival dawns,
we proclaim that from now on,
all Romans will dress
themselves just like you.
Great God Icarus!
Great God Icarus!
Wow! This is all mine!
Mine, as far as the eye can see.
And I can see... No!
Ah-ha. I found another one
of these melted-wax feathers.
I should smite this
Icarus for littering.
Like I said earlier, no
beating up on Icarus.
Poor guy must have flown
too close to the sun again.
Well, I shall smite... Apollo!
Look... Can't you get it
through your armored head?
No smiting!
- None?
- None!
Not just a little love smite?
Aaaagh! No! None!
No smiting!
I... If you see a crime,
like someone defaces a
temple, or aggrieves the gods,
or, or pretends to be a
god, then pound away!
Go ahead, but that's
it. Nowhere else!
This is a no-smiting zone!
Well, you don't have to yell.
Hercules!
Oh, my gosh! It's Icarus!
Herc! Hercaburger!
Up here, buddy!
They've got him imprisoned!
Hang on, buddy. I'm coming!
Great. Can I go home now?
Hang on, Icarus,
I'll rescue you!
Herc, if you rescue
me from this,
I will never forgive you.
What is going on here?
Well, they made me a god, Herc.
Rome is my town.
I came, I saw... I par-tayed!
It's, it's unbelievable.
Believe it, baby! Check it out!
These guys just
fan me all day long!
They do whatever I say. Look!
Your god commands
you to act like chickens.
There! You see? And
everyone's a chicken.
My every stupid wish
is their stupid command.
Aren't enough hours in the day.
Hey, fat guy, dance
like a monkey!
Oh, man, Icarus, I was
so worried about you.
I thought you were
lost or in some kind of...
Trouble! We have to get
you out of here right now!
What? Have you
lost your astragaly?
I'm just getting warmed up!
Icarus, someone came
with me to find you.
She's here in loam.
Rome.
Whatever! She's the demigoddess
of vengeance... Nemesis!
Aaahh!
Right, but is she a nice
demigoddess of vengeance?
She can transform her
arms into deadly weapons,
and her specialty
is smiting false gods!
D'oh, man!
We gotta get out of here
before she sees any of this!
- Ahh!
- Before I see any of what?
Hi!
Demigoddess of
vengeance, I presume?
Oh, yes! Ha ha ha ha!
Before I see what?
Before... you... see
what a fright my hair is today!
Hello! You must be
Nemesis. I must be Icarus.
And we must be going.
Your festival is about to start,
O Great God Icarus.
And a great job you're
doing, too, Remus!
Forget about it!
See, here in Rome,
we believe in the
power of positive feeling,
so whenever we see one
another, we say, "great job," see?
Great job, Hercules.
And you're doing a
great job, too, Icarus.
Did that man say god?
Oh ho ho! No!
That can't be because, uh,
the Romans don't have a god.
They worship, uh... Corn.
Corn! They worship corn.
And who doesn't,
in their own little way,
worship corn?
Then what is he doing?
Hey, look, pal, I told you
you lost your lucky
coin out in the hall!
All hail Great God...
They're helping him look.
My smiting sense is tingling.
Something smells like
false god around here.
Oh, I'll tell you what smells.
I'll tell ya what smells!
You and your
so-called suspicions!
To think that you would
suspect me of being a false god!
Well, we don't have to
put up with this witch hunt.
We're leaving, and the next
time you wanna frame me,
I suggest you call my lawyer,
and I will see you in court!
All hail Great God Icarus!
No, I think I'll be seeing
both of you right now!
Ah ah! OK, now, Nemesis,
let's, let's not be hasty.
- Uh...
- Oh, don't worry.
This is going to
be long and slow.
Ha, may I say just one word?
What is it?
- Jump!
- Jump!
- Aaaaaah!
- Aaaaah!
Aaaiiyi-yi-yi!
- Whoa!
- Whoa!
Oh! That was awesome!
Let's go again!
I don't think so!
Ah, yes, the thrill of the hunt.
I should do errands
for Zeus more often.
I think we lost her.
Think again.
Alas, poor me!
I knew me well.
Uh, we have bigger problems!
I've got you now!
Curses!
Whoa! That was scary!
You're telling me.
Ah! Yes! Fooled ya, Nemesis!
Our wits are 100
times more powerful
than your stupid smiting senses.
Uh, she also has
superhuman hearing.
Oh, well, now you tell me!
Oh, no, we're trapped!
Ah! We gotta find
a way out of here!
Oh ho ho ho! I'll
take care of that.
Hasta la vista, false god.
Wait a minute. Have a heart.
Sure, Icarus is a false god,
but, but what harm has he done?
He gave these people
a vision of a new city.
OK, it was a weird
vision, but I... it's a vision.
When you get to the underworld,
tell Hades he owes me money.
Not so fast!
Well, all right.
My people have
come to rescue me!
You lied to us, you lousy phony!
We want revenge!
Well, I called that one wrong.
Take a numeral, boys. He's mine!
Ungh!
Hey! She's out cold!
That's not necessarily
a good thing.
I am Ra, Sun God of Egypt!
We have come in
answer to your call.
Hey, what do ya know?
One of your fliers
did get through.
All hail our new gods!
Well, everybody's happy
now, no harm done.
I guess that takes little
false god off the hoo...
Aaahh!
Before we rule
as your true gods,
we must destroy all
traces of the false god.
Uh, you can't...
Aaaahhh!
And that means all traces.
So, now as we
extend our dominion
to include the city
of Rome, let us...
Wait a minute, huh?
Boy, that really
bugs me after a while.
It's OK for a big
entrance and all,
you know what I mean?
But then it's a real pain.
Now, then, let's get
down to business.
Ooh ooh ooh! First the destruction
of this false god over here!
Whoa! You guys are bloodthirsty!
Tell you what. I'll take care
of the imposter and his buddy
right after we get started on a
little construction around here.
Construction?
I'm thinking, uh, we
put these people to work,
dig up the town square,
knock this bandbox down,
then put some pyramids
up, uh, right about here.
Destroy the colosseum?
I think I may have a plan.
Well, if it's better
than crying like a baby
and pleading for mercy,
then, hey, I'm all for it!
So, uh, let's get
this going, OK?
You guys handle the pyramid thing,
and I'll destroy the bogus god here.
Are you gonna
let them do this...
Tear down the city you
worked so hard to create?
Uh-huh. Heh. Just for that,
wise guy, I'll do you first.
Oh, well, this plan is
slightly better than mine.
You leave him alone! He's
right! You can't do this to us!
Oh, boy, listen,
people, people, people,
you wanted gods, you got
'em. This is how it works.
We say it, you do it.
If we sort of talk it over,
then we're really not
doing our job, are we?
Rome can be a great
city! Don't let them take it!
Yeah! We like
Rome the way it is!
OK, I've had enough.
We're gonna need to
level this whole place
and start from scratch...
Right after I waste
the false god here.
You mean when I waste him!
Shove off, featherhead!
This is my collar.
And just who in Aunt Pearl's
Pantheon are you, little mortal?
For your information,
I am a demigoddess.
Uh-huh, and
you're starting to be
a demi-pain-in-the-ankh, sister.
So, go shine your
helmet somewhere
before I lose my
temper and smite ya.
What did you say?
Get ready to run.
I was born ready.
I said, I'm gonna smite ya!
I have been waiting all
week for a good smite.
Mister, you just opened
a big can of trouble!
Aaaiiiyy-yi-yi-yi-yi!
OK, Rome, you want raffle?
You've got it.
Gods, attack!
Aaahhh!
Let's see how you do without
your little toy, sunny boy.
Jeez! Where's the giant dog-headed
god when you really need him?
Hang on, Icarus!
Now!
Well, sweetie,
I'm about to show you how
we do it down in the delta!
Say your prayers.
Whew! Thank you.
Don't mention it.
Rome is ours again,
thanks to Hercules and Nemesis!
You can be our new new gods.
Oh, no, please, I...
I can't be your god.
Actually, I'm already on
the god track back home.
And I'm just a
demigoddess of vengeance
who's still got
a little job to do.
Oh, come on!
We saved your life just now!
So? You still must pay
because you aggrieved the
gods with your transgressions!
Oh, Nemesis, lighten
up for once, will ya?
- Father!
- Oh... ahh!
Out of my way.
Dad, what are you doing here?
We got this ad about
a city needing gods.
Would have got it last week, but it
was addressed to "Mt. Olympert."
Uh, excuse me, you
great big hairy-faced one,
you don't want to
level our city, do ya?
Why would I want to
do a fool thing like that?
All hail our new gods.
Well, then, I guess we
should introduce ourselves.
I'm Zeus, father of the gods.
This is Hermes, Messenger God.
Uh, Dad, uh, I
hate to interrupt,
but the Romans are
a very patriotic people,
and they're wondering
if you wouldn't mind
using special Roman
names for yourselves?
Well, "When in
Rome..." and all that. Ha!
What kind of names
you got for us?
You've named
everything else we like.
Why not our gods?
Oh, I would be honored.
Hmm. Let me see.
I think "Jupiter" is a
good name for you, sir.
Jupiter? What
kind of a... I like it!
You... "Mercury." I
like "Mars" for you.
"Vulcan's" a good one.
"Venus"... that's
kind of catchy.
"Larry" for you...
Larry... No, no,
no, no. Not Larry...
And so, though Icarus
didn't finish his model city,
his teacher was impressed
with the real city he did create,
along with a set of Roman
names for the Pantheon of gods
that pleased everyone.
What?
Well... almost everyone.
They want to name me "Pluto"?
What kind of name is that?
"Pluto"... That's a name
for a god? What is that?
I wouldn't name my dog "Pluto."
"glad" in gladiator? ♪
♪ Hercules ♪
♪ Whose daring deeds
are great theater? ♪
♪ Hercules ♪
♪ Is he bold? ♪
♪ No one braver ♪
♪ Is he sweet? ♪
♪ Our favorite
flavor, Hercules ♪
- ♪ What a guy ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Ask his friends ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
♪ Honey, they won't lie ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Ahh, Hercules ♪
♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Come on ♪
- ♪ No one's fool ♪
♪ Now, the boy's in school ♪
♪ He's in trainin' ♪
♪ Sun is shinin' ♪
♪ And the nicest guy ♪
♪ No complainin' ♪
♪ He was a no one ♪
♪ Zero, zero, give
him a quick deed ♪
♪ He's our hero ♪
♪ He's the most
likely to succeed ♪
♪ From zero to hero ♪
♪ Herc is a hero ♪
♪ He'll be a hero ♪
Wait and see!
And, finally, my model city
would include a
pantheon of heroes.
Ooh! Oh!
Perfect. Another city
destroyed by Mr. Hercules.
Well, flunkards, so far,
I'm very disappointed.
In your pitiful excuses
for model cities.
Mr. Adonis and his
so-called "Adonisville."
Not enough statues of me?
And, Miss Cassandra, with
her ridiculous city of the future.
And that brings
us to Mr. Icarus.
I trust you won't disappoint me.
Well, trust away, Mr. Herodotus.
OK. Uh, the time has
come to unveil my model city.
Prepare to be amazed
because it's really,
really, really good.
Oh, darn it!
Now I won't get to show off
my magnificent handiwork.
Well, see ya!
Mr. Icarus, I expect to
be amazed by your project
first thing Monday morning.
Yeah, well, it'll be
amazing, all right.
Humpf!
Whoo!
Oh, no, Icarus. That
rock crushed your model.
Actually, right now,
that rock is my model.
But yesterday you told
me all you had to do
was put on the
finishing touches.
You're gonna fail.
I will not!
My project may be a little late,
I may not know diddly
about planning a city,
but I'll do what generations of
students before me have done
when faced with
this same situation...
Go to the library
and copy some stuff.
Copy? Y... You're
not supposed to...
Why do you have
to fly to the library?
It's not just any library, pal.
Oh, no, indeed.
Icarus was flying to
the greatest library
in the history of humanity...
The library of Alexandria
in faraway Egypt...
A legendary institution
boasting scrolls on
every subject imaginable.
"City Planning Made Easy,"
"Hey, Let's Build A City."
"The Seven Habits Of
Highly Effective City Planners",
"How To Fly While Carrying
A Stack Of Heavy Scrolls."
Uh, yeah. You know what?
On second thought, I really
don't need that last one.
D'oh! That... might...
have... been a mistake.
Now, where am I?
Ah! Hmm.
Sparta, no. Ithaca, no.
Athens, no. Troy, no.
Hmm. I'm stumped.
Icarus did not realize it,
but he was flying over Rome,
the fabled city founded
by Romulus and Remus,
and the birthplace of the most
highly developed civilization
of the ancient world.
You're just gonna have
to trust me on this one.
Romulus, what am I
gonna do with you?
What?
What do you mean "what?"
Look at this!
"Up-and-coming city needs
god or gods for divine guidance.
500 years minimum experience
preferred. Self-starters a must."
Looks all right to me, Remus.
Hey! There's no zip
code! They all came back!
You know what that
means, you shtewnod?
No gods, zilcho, bupkis!
OK, I'm flying over... Si-beria.
Well, that's a start.
Hmm. Starting to rain.
Hey, there's the sun!
The sun!
Oh, man! Not again!
Aaaaahhh!
Not one single god is
coming to Rome, you bazoom!
So sue me!
I can't make a god
just drop out of the sky!
Aaaaaahhhhh!
- Holy...
- Duh...
Oof!
Sorry to just drop in like this.
Are you here for...
No, no, I can
explain everything.
Funny story, true story...
You see, I got
this thing from...
Hey, one of my
fliers got through!
♪ We got a god, we got a god ♪
- Beg pardon?
- Oh, Great God,
you have answered our
call and come to rule us.
From this day hence, your
every need will be fulfilled,
every wish granted,
as we build our
city in your image.
Capisce?
So, let me get this straight.
I'm your god.
- That's right.
- And I get anything I want.
You better believe it.
OK!
That clears it up for me!
There's really
nothing I can do, son.
Father, he hasn't
been seen all weekend.
I think he might be in trouble.
Well...
I suppose I could get you
some help from Nemesis.
The demigoddess of vengeance?
Yes, Nemesis.
Um, are you making that noise?
Don't you worry about
her. She's a great tracker.
A little intense,
but a nice kid once
you get to know her.
Ha! I'm sure she'll be happy
to help you any way she can.
Hercules, I'll be happy to
help you in any way I can.
Really?
What do you think?
Huh?
All right. Let's get this
chump-change job over
before I smite you.
Hey, this is fun!
Hey, sweetie, give me
another bite of that tomato pie,
would ya?
Ah, that is so good. There
is no place like Rome.
Oh, Great God
Icarus, are you happy?
We've carried out
your designs for Rome.
Yeah. Couldn't be happier!
Love the waterslide.
Love the ballpark.
You are so great a god,
that we are gonna throw
you a big, swingin' festival.
In honor of your greatness!
A festival?
Man! This god is gonna
get funky with his godly self
and make some noise, huh?
Yes, he was here. He
checked out several scrolls,
though, not our
newest arrival...
"1,000 Insults
For All Occasions."
It's available for circulation.
Someone has drawn a
mustache on this volume.
I will mete out a deadly
vengeance on whoever did this,
after I find this Icarus and
smite him for his crimes.
Um, I don't know
what my father told you,
but this job is really
more about tracking
and less about smiting, per se.
Well, how much
smiting will there be?
Uh, roughly... none.
What? No smiting? No smiting?
Oh, you are, you are so stupid,
you think a Minotaur
is short vacation.
Aaah!
I drop everything to
do your old man a favor,
and there's no
vengeance to wreak,
no retribution to be wrought?
Uh, well, uh,
m... maybe you can get in
some wreaking and wroughting
on your own time.
Oh, you will be sorry for this!
By the very gods
of Olympus, I shall...
Shhhh! Hush!
Can I smite him?
Great God Icarus, as the
day of your festival dawns,
we proclaim that from now on,
all Romans will dress
themselves just like you.
Great God Icarus!
Great God Icarus!
Wow! This is all mine!
Mine, as far as the eye can see.
And I can see... No!
Ah-ha. I found another one
of these melted-wax feathers.
I should smite this
Icarus for littering.
Like I said earlier, no
beating up on Icarus.
Poor guy must have flown
too close to the sun again.
Well, I shall smite... Apollo!
Look... Can't you get it
through your armored head?
No smiting!
- None?
- None!
Not just a little love smite?
Aaaagh! No! None!
No smiting!
I... If you see a crime,
like someone defaces a
temple, or aggrieves the gods,
or, or pretends to be a
god, then pound away!
Go ahead, but that's
it. Nowhere else!
This is a no-smiting zone!
Well, you don't have to yell.
Hercules!
Oh, my gosh! It's Icarus!
Herc! Hercaburger!
Up here, buddy!
They've got him imprisoned!
Hang on, buddy. I'm coming!
Great. Can I go home now?
Hang on, Icarus,
I'll rescue you!
Herc, if you rescue
me from this,
I will never forgive you.
What is going on here?
Well, they made me a god, Herc.
Rome is my town.
I came, I saw... I par-tayed!
It's, it's unbelievable.
Believe it, baby! Check it out!
These guys just
fan me all day long!
They do whatever I say. Look!
Your god commands
you to act like chickens.
There! You see? And
everyone's a chicken.
My every stupid wish
is their stupid command.
Aren't enough hours in the day.
Hey, fat guy, dance
like a monkey!
Oh, man, Icarus, I was
so worried about you.
I thought you were
lost or in some kind of...
Trouble! We have to get
you out of here right now!
What? Have you
lost your astragaly?
I'm just getting warmed up!
Icarus, someone came
with me to find you.
She's here in loam.
Rome.
Whatever! She's the demigoddess
of vengeance... Nemesis!
Aaahh!
Right, but is she a nice
demigoddess of vengeance?
She can transform her
arms into deadly weapons,
and her specialty
is smiting false gods!
D'oh, man!
We gotta get out of here
before she sees any of this!
- Ahh!
- Before I see any of what?
Hi!
Demigoddess of
vengeance, I presume?
Oh, yes! Ha ha ha ha!
Before I see what?
Before... you... see
what a fright my hair is today!
Hello! You must be
Nemesis. I must be Icarus.
And we must be going.
Your festival is about to start,
O Great God Icarus.
And a great job you're
doing, too, Remus!
Forget about it!
See, here in Rome,
we believe in the
power of positive feeling,
so whenever we see one
another, we say, "great job," see?
Great job, Hercules.
And you're doing a
great job, too, Icarus.
Did that man say god?
Oh ho ho! No!
That can't be because, uh,
the Romans don't have a god.
They worship, uh... Corn.
Corn! They worship corn.
And who doesn't,
in their own little way,
worship corn?
Then what is he doing?
Hey, look, pal, I told you
you lost your lucky
coin out in the hall!
All hail Great God...
They're helping him look.
My smiting sense is tingling.
Something smells like
false god around here.
Oh, I'll tell you what smells.
I'll tell ya what smells!
You and your
so-called suspicions!
To think that you would
suspect me of being a false god!
Well, we don't have to
put up with this witch hunt.
We're leaving, and the next
time you wanna frame me,
I suggest you call my lawyer,
and I will see you in court!
All hail Great God Icarus!
No, I think I'll be seeing
both of you right now!
Ah ah! OK, now, Nemesis,
let's, let's not be hasty.
- Uh...
- Oh, don't worry.
This is going to
be long and slow.
Ha, may I say just one word?
What is it?
- Jump!
- Jump!
- Aaaaaah!
- Aaaaah!
Aaaiiyi-yi-yi!
- Whoa!
- Whoa!
Oh! That was awesome!
Let's go again!
I don't think so!
Ah, yes, the thrill of the hunt.
I should do errands
for Zeus more often.
I think we lost her.
Think again.
Alas, poor me!
I knew me well.
Uh, we have bigger problems!
I've got you now!
Curses!
Whoa! That was scary!
You're telling me.
Ah! Yes! Fooled ya, Nemesis!
Our wits are 100
times more powerful
than your stupid smiting senses.
Uh, she also has
superhuman hearing.
Oh, well, now you tell me!
Oh, no, we're trapped!
Ah! We gotta find
a way out of here!
Oh ho ho ho! I'll
take care of that.
Hasta la vista, false god.
Wait a minute. Have a heart.
Sure, Icarus is a false god,
but, but what harm has he done?
He gave these people
a vision of a new city.
OK, it was a weird
vision, but I... it's a vision.
When you get to the underworld,
tell Hades he owes me money.
Not so fast!
Well, all right.
My people have
come to rescue me!
You lied to us, you lousy phony!
We want revenge!
Well, I called that one wrong.
Take a numeral, boys. He's mine!
Ungh!
Hey! She's out cold!
That's not necessarily
a good thing.
I am Ra, Sun God of Egypt!
We have come in
answer to your call.
Hey, what do ya know?
One of your fliers
did get through.
All hail our new gods!
Well, everybody's happy
now, no harm done.
I guess that takes little
false god off the hoo...
Aaahh!
Before we rule
as your true gods,
we must destroy all
traces of the false god.
Uh, you can't...
Aaaahhh!
And that means all traces.
So, now as we
extend our dominion
to include the city
of Rome, let us...
Wait a minute, huh?
Boy, that really
bugs me after a while.
It's OK for a big
entrance and all,
you know what I mean?
But then it's a real pain.
Now, then, let's get
down to business.
Ooh ooh ooh! First the destruction
of this false god over here!
Whoa! You guys are bloodthirsty!
Tell you what. I'll take care
of the imposter and his buddy
right after we get started on a
little construction around here.
Construction?
I'm thinking, uh, we
put these people to work,
dig up the town square,
knock this bandbox down,
then put some pyramids
up, uh, right about here.
Destroy the colosseum?
I think I may have a plan.
Well, if it's better
than crying like a baby
and pleading for mercy,
then, hey, I'm all for it!
So, uh, let's get
this going, OK?
You guys handle the pyramid thing,
and I'll destroy the bogus god here.
Are you gonna
let them do this...
Tear down the city you
worked so hard to create?
Uh-huh. Heh. Just for that,
wise guy, I'll do you first.
Oh, well, this plan is
slightly better than mine.
You leave him alone! He's
right! You can't do this to us!
Oh, boy, listen,
people, people, people,
you wanted gods, you got
'em. This is how it works.
We say it, you do it.
If we sort of talk it over,
then we're really not
doing our job, are we?
Rome can be a great
city! Don't let them take it!
Yeah! We like
Rome the way it is!
OK, I've had enough.
We're gonna need to
level this whole place
and start from scratch...
Right after I waste
the false god here.
You mean when I waste him!
Shove off, featherhead!
This is my collar.
And just who in Aunt Pearl's
Pantheon are you, little mortal?
For your information,
I am a demigoddess.
Uh-huh, and
you're starting to be
a demi-pain-in-the-ankh, sister.
So, go shine your
helmet somewhere
before I lose my
temper and smite ya.
What did you say?
Get ready to run.
I was born ready.
I said, I'm gonna smite ya!
I have been waiting all
week for a good smite.
Mister, you just opened
a big can of trouble!
Aaaiiiyy-yi-yi-yi-yi!
OK, Rome, you want raffle?
You've got it.
Gods, attack!
Aaahhh!
Let's see how you do without
your little toy, sunny boy.
Jeez! Where's the giant dog-headed
god when you really need him?
Hang on, Icarus!
Now!
Well, sweetie,
I'm about to show you how
we do it down in the delta!
Say your prayers.
Whew! Thank you.
Don't mention it.
Rome is ours again,
thanks to Hercules and Nemesis!
You can be our new new gods.
Oh, no, please, I...
I can't be your god.
Actually, I'm already on
the god track back home.
And I'm just a
demigoddess of vengeance
who's still got
a little job to do.
Oh, come on!
We saved your life just now!
So? You still must pay
because you aggrieved the
gods with your transgressions!
Oh, Nemesis, lighten
up for once, will ya?
- Father!
- Oh... ahh!
Out of my way.
Dad, what are you doing here?
We got this ad about
a city needing gods.
Would have got it last week, but it
was addressed to "Mt. Olympert."
Uh, excuse me, you
great big hairy-faced one,
you don't want to
level our city, do ya?
Why would I want to
do a fool thing like that?
All hail our new gods.
Well, then, I guess we
should introduce ourselves.
I'm Zeus, father of the gods.
This is Hermes, Messenger God.
Uh, Dad, uh, I
hate to interrupt,
but the Romans are
a very patriotic people,
and they're wondering
if you wouldn't mind
using special Roman
names for yourselves?
Well, "When in
Rome..." and all that. Ha!
What kind of names
you got for us?
You've named
everything else we like.
Why not our gods?
Oh, I would be honored.
Hmm. Let me see.
I think "Jupiter" is a
good name for you, sir.
Jupiter? What
kind of a... I like it!
You... "Mercury." I
like "Mars" for you.
"Vulcan's" a good one.
"Venus"... that's
kind of catchy.
"Larry" for you...
Larry... No, no,
no, no. Not Larry...
And so, though Icarus
didn't finish his model city,
his teacher was impressed
with the real city he did create,
along with a set of Roman
names for the Pantheon of gods
that pleased everyone.
What?
Well... almost everyone.
They want to name me "Pluto"?
What kind of name is that?
"Pluto"... That's a name
for a god? What is that?
I wouldn't name my dog "Pluto."