Hercules (1998–1999): Season 1, Episode 29 - Hercules and the Jilt Trip - full transcript
♪ Who put the
"glad" in gladiator? ♪
♪ Hercules ♪
♪ Whose daring deeds
are great theater? ♪
♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Is he bold? ♪
- ♪ No one braver ♪
- ♪ Is he sweet? ♪
- ♪ Our favorite flavor, Hercules ♪
- ♪ What a guy ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Ask his friends ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
♪ Honey, they won't lie ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Ahh, Hercules ♪
♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Come on ♪
- ♪ No one's fool ♪
♪ Now the boy's in school ♪
♪ He's in trainin' ♪
♪ Smart and shy ♪
- ♪ And the nicest guy ♪
- ♪ No complainin' ♪
♪ He was a no one ♪
♪ Zero, zero ♪
♪ Give him a quick deed ♪
♪ He's our hero ♪
♪ He's the most
likely to succeed ♪
♪ From zero to hero ♪
♪ Herc is a hero ♪
♪ He'll be a hero ♪
Wait and see!
I don't know who I pity more.
You or moth boy over there.
Oh, man!
Herc, I did it again!
Hurry! I don't wanna
be late for lunch.
It's Frog Leg Friday.
I'll meet you guys
in the cafeteria.
I gotta wait for
my... girlfriend.
Ha ha ha!
Ahh! I just love saying that.
My girlfriend, my girlfriend,
my girl... Anaxerete!
Hi! Uh... Ready for lunch?
Uh, Hercules, we have to talk.
Here.
I have to give this back.
Wha... But I conquered
that cyclops for you!
And I'll never forget it.
But I can't go
on living this lie.
Oh, I wouldn't lie about
something like that.
I mean, yeah, sure, some heroes
may exaggerate their exploits.
Oh, Herc, the last thing
I want to do is hurt you,
but you deserve the truth.
Um, and the truth is?
I wanna break up.
- Break up?
- Uh-huh.
And then... and then she said
it was really as painful for her
as it is for me.
Can you believe that?
Actually, I foresaw it.
You knew?
I wanted to tell you,
but you looked so happy,
it gave me the creeps.
I was happy.
I thought we both were.
Oh, Herc!
Hercy, perky, perky,
perky, perky poo.
For a relationship to work,
you gotta read the signs.
The unspoken clues.
The teensy, tiny, subtle hints
that speak volumes. Ah!
You follow what I'm saying?
OK. We're going for quick,
evasive maneuvers here.
I recommend dodging.
Ducking works, too.
Hmm.
Uh, not to pry, but
you seem... down.
So Anaxerete gave
you the ax, huh?
Yeah.
Kid, just 'cause
you're a hero in training
doesn't mean you have
to act like it doesn't hurt.
Open up. Let it all out.
Just don't cry or anything.
Oh, Phil, my heart
has been ripped out
and my world has no meaning.
Whoa! I had no idea
how serious you two were.
You must've been an
item for some time now.
Yeah! Three days!
Days? Uh, maybe
it was for the best.
Nothing this painful
could ever be for the best.
I know it hurts, but take it
from someone who knows.
The best way to get
over your old girlfriend
is to get yourself a new one.
Ohh!
Come on! When you
fall off your winged horse,
you gotta dust yourself off
and get right back on again.
But she was my world!
How can I go on
without that quirky smile?
Those laughing freckles,
and the way her eyes
kind of sparkled and...
Get over it, already!
Puh-lease!
You know what you need?
- A towel?
- Adventure!
Real life or death
heroic escapades!
And I've got just the thing.
"Hero wanted. Guts a must."
That's you.
You got monsters?
Hercules here is the
hero for you, King Tivius.
Well... Geryon is
no ordinary monster.
Your Majesty, Herc
has fought 'em all.
Your minotaurs,
your sea serpents,
cyclops, you name it.
Isn't that right, Herc?
I guess.
Aw!
I don't know.
Oh, Father, hire him.
He's so cute!
But, darling, Livinia,
cute is not a
reasonable criteria.
My daughter is a
hopeless romantic.
Do tell.
I need brute force.
Only the strongest
hero will be able to...
Ohh!
Huh, huh?
Oh, my!
He's hired.
Ahh!
Wah-hoo!
Out of my way!
The king was right.
He isn't ordinary.
I'm mad!
Me, too!
Me, three!
Aah!
There you go. Easy, girl.
Well, guess it's time for
some real life or death heroics.
It's the "or death"
part I'm worried about.
Kid, you could get hurt here.
Ugh! No monster could hurt
me worse than that breakup did.
OK. You see, that's what
we satyrs call crazy talk.
Hey!
Did you hear me?
I'm mad!
Oh, yeah? Well, it's
your turn to listen, Geryon.
You're done
terrorizing this island,
so I suggest you leave or
you'll have to answer to me.
You?
A fight to the finish, Geryon.
I've got nothin' to lose.
Except for a couple
arms and legs.
Me, I can spare a few.
Grrraah!
Oh... my...
Here, take the club.
Aah!
OK. Just a little off your game.
Concentrate.
Take the sword.
Come on, kid, focus!
Here! Take, uh... This!
Aah!
Herc, forget the
girl and get him!
I can't forget Anaxerete,
and this heroic stuff
isn't helping one bit.
Aah!
You are so dead.
But then, I could give this
heroic stuff another shot.
Unh!
Me, six fists.
You, one face.
Do the math.
Huh? Aah!
Huh?
Oh! Aah!
I am fueled by anger!
I can do this all day.
Whoa!
I hate to tell you this, Geryon,
but you caught me
on a really bad day.
Accept defeat... like a man...
And... and... and
I'll let you... live!
Where's my hero? Hercules!
Attaboy, Herc!
You did it! You scared him off!
Ah! What a strong,
courageous hero!
Well... what do
you think did it?
My savage strength,
my... my nerves of steel?
Oh! I bet it was my "I'm a hero,
so don't mess with me" look.
That did the trick.
And that look
can't be taught, kid.
Maybe you're right about
this heroic stuff, Phil.
I'm feeling better already.
Well, I hope you feel hungry.
I'm throwing a royal
feast in your honor.
Oh, say you'll come.
Please?
Of course he'll come, princess.
Come on, Herc. Out with
the old, in with the new.
Eh? Eh?
Get out! No!
You're in high school, too?
What a coincidence!
So is Hercules.
Wow. Philoctetes was right.
We do have a lot in common.
Heh heh. Herc's a
little shy with the ladies.
He needs someone who's
not afraid to, you know,
take the initiative.
He likes you,
though, I can tell.
You gotta read
between the... ribs.
Uh, pardon me. Could
you please pass the squid?
See?
L-o-v-e.
You know, I like squid, too.
It's, like, magical
how similar we are.
Mm-hmm. Mmrgh.
Forgive me for
taking the initiative,
but, Hercules, you and
I were made for ea...
- Aah!
- Oh, no!
Geryon is rearranging
the mountains again.
Don't worry, Your Highness.
I'll put that monster
in his place.
Oh, yeah. This one's a keeper.
I am so...
Not happy!
Put the mountain down, Geryon.
Oh, you again!
I could take you with five
hands tied behind my backs!
Aah! Aah! Aah!
Ha ha ha!
Doesn't look like our triple
threat's gonna run this time.
Neither am I.
Face it, Geryon! You can't win!
I'll take my chances.
Huh? Whoo!
Had enough?
Now have you had enough?
Yes.
The locket! My love!
No!
Kid, watch out!
Aah!
Go ahead. Do
what you have to do.
It doesn't matter anyway.
My hearts have been ripped out.
My world has no meaning. Ohh!
You heard the
triple-header, Herc.
Do what you have to do.
So, how long were
you two an item?
Four days!
Ohh! Whoa!
And I thought I knew heartache.
Oy!
The princess and I,
we had something so... special.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.
You and the... princess?
Yeah. That's why I
ran away before, OK?
I saw her standing there.
A rose among thorns.
I have so much baggage!
So it wasn't my "I'm a hero,
so don't mess with me" look
that scared you off?
No. When I see the princess...
my heads swim.
I can barely breathe. I...
I keep thinking
about what we had.
It was so beautiful.
Ha ha ha!
I know. I know.
You're probably gonna
say it was for the best.
No, man. Hey, I've been there.
You have? You have?
Oh, yeah. I know it hurts.
I know, I know. And just
because you're a monster,
it doesn't mean that you
gotta act like it doesn't.
Open up, man.
Let it out. Let it all out.
How could she dump me?
I'm three times the guy...
her last boyfriend was.
I know, I know, man.
Anybody could see that.
Oh, please! Get
over it, already!
You are a hero.
You are a monster.
You should be fighting,
not blubbering like a
couple of sob sisters!
Oh, what's the use? Fighting
won't... unbreak my heart.
Yeah, and let's face it.
Trashing the
island won't, either.
I know.
It's just... I had
no one to talk to.
Without an appropriate
outlet for my emotions, I...
resorted to
destructive behavior,
Yeah.
Talk to me, man. Talk to me.
Aurora, Goddess of the Dawn,
comes through again.
You're right, man.
A bright new day.
It's kind of a promise.
A promise of something better.
Yeah. You ready
to go to the palace?
What? Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
What does tri-tip here
need to go to the palace for?
If Geryon's gonna
get on with his life,
he's gotta apologize to
the king and the princess
for demolishing the island.
I need closure.
But the princess
and you... I mean, I...
Phil, let him do this, brother.
- Let him do this.
- OK.
Geryon, admitting
you have a problem
is the first step.
I forgive you.
OK. Hard part.
Do you, princess...
Can you forgive... me?
Of course, you big lug.
No hard feelings. I'll even
invite you to the wedding.
Who's... What? Getting married?
Why, Hercules and I, of course.
What? You!
All that talk
about letting go...
when you were holding onto
my beloved... the whole time!
No, no, no! Believe me!
I'm just as surprised
about this are you are!
Oh, Hercules, come on.
The fates themselves
arranged our meeting.
- It was a want ad!
- But Phil said...
Ah, one triple-scoop sundae,
and you'll forget all this.
I'll forget when
Hercules is a memory!
Geryon, please! You
know as well as I do
that I'm still mending
my own broken heart,
and working through my
own emotional vulnerability.
It's way too soon for me to get involved
in... in... in a serious relationship.
Oh! So my princess...
is just a fling?
No, no! That's not it!
- Aah!
- Go get him, fiancé!
You can do it!
I am not your fiancé!
Geryon, listen.
You can work through this,
but first you gotta
beating yourself up.
Oh, I'm done with myself.
It's your turn.
OK, unless you channel this
anger in a more constructive manner,
I'm going to have
to hurt you... whoa!
Aah!
Geryon, please!
If you have the tiniest bit of
love for me in one of your hearts,
have mercy on Hercules.
All three of my
hearts are broken.
So you break his spinal column?
- That helps.
- Whoa!
Ohh... what happened?
You conquered that evil monster,
and we're going to
live happily ever after.
I'll go get you some tea.
What... what really happened?
Three card monte wiped
the island with your rear,
and somehow the princess
still wants to marry you.
Oh, no! What am I gonna do?
I can't marry the princess.
So you don't want a big wedding?
I don't want any wedding!
Oh, I find you a nice girlfriend
to help you get over the last one,
- and this is the thanks I get.
- Girlfriend?
Try fiancé!
Whatever. Hey, I'm no Aphrodite,
but I think you two
make a cute couple.
Phil, she's just not my type.
All right, but
you better tell her
before she's hired a caterer.
Oh, I don't wanna
hurt her feelings.
You have to tell her!
I know, I know!
I just didn't know
it'd be this hard.
There you are, my fiancé.
Ahh!
Fiancé.
Fiancé.
I just love saying that.
Uh, princess... we have to talk.
Princess!
Hey, you...
Believe me, this is as
painful for me as it is for you.
Did I just say that?
You... don't... understand.
Our romance was so
wonderful, so unique.
Ha ha ha!
Uh, princess, we
never did those things.
But we could have!
Ugh! Maybe it's for the best.
Nothing this painful
could ever be for the best!
Princess, that's
exactly how Geryon felt
when you broke up with him.
Really? I had no idea his
feelings for me were so strong.
Are you kidding me?
He is a great guy.
Oh, come on! Six
arms to hold ya?
He's a monster hugger.
That's what he is.
Hmm... maybe I should
give him a second chance.
Oy. Dames.
OK, whatever you do,
don't talk about
the big breakup.
I think Herc is still
hurtin' inside, poor sap.
Hey, guys.
Gadzooks! You look awful!
Man! Breakin' up with Anaxerete,
that must be eatin' you alive.
Ooh! The pain!
The acid of love gone sour
just tearin' your insides
out! Ohh! Oh, man!
Actually, I'm... I'm OK.
I know Anaxerete
didn't wanna hurt me.
She just wanted to break
up, and I'm fine with that.
So you're fine with the fact
that she just walked in
holding hands with Ajax?
What?
Oh, Ajax.
My heart has just
been ripped out!
My world has no meaning!
Ohh!
"glad" in gladiator? ♪
♪ Hercules ♪
♪ Whose daring deeds
are great theater? ♪
♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Is he bold? ♪
- ♪ No one braver ♪
- ♪ Is he sweet? ♪
- ♪ Our favorite flavor, Hercules ♪
- ♪ What a guy ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Ask his friends ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
♪ Honey, they won't lie ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Ahh, Hercules ♪
♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Come on ♪
- ♪ No one's fool ♪
♪ Now the boy's in school ♪
♪ He's in trainin' ♪
♪ Smart and shy ♪
- ♪ And the nicest guy ♪
- ♪ No complainin' ♪
♪ He was a no one ♪
♪ Zero, zero ♪
♪ Give him a quick deed ♪
♪ He's our hero ♪
♪ He's the most
likely to succeed ♪
♪ From zero to hero ♪
♪ Herc is a hero ♪
♪ He'll be a hero ♪
Wait and see!
I don't know who I pity more.
You or moth boy over there.
Oh, man!
Herc, I did it again!
Hurry! I don't wanna
be late for lunch.
It's Frog Leg Friday.
I'll meet you guys
in the cafeteria.
I gotta wait for
my... girlfriend.
Ha ha ha!
Ahh! I just love saying that.
My girlfriend, my girlfriend,
my girl... Anaxerete!
Hi! Uh... Ready for lunch?
Uh, Hercules, we have to talk.
Here.
I have to give this back.
Wha... But I conquered
that cyclops for you!
And I'll never forget it.
But I can't go
on living this lie.
Oh, I wouldn't lie about
something like that.
I mean, yeah, sure, some heroes
may exaggerate their exploits.
Oh, Herc, the last thing
I want to do is hurt you,
but you deserve the truth.
Um, and the truth is?
I wanna break up.
- Break up?
- Uh-huh.
And then... and then she said
it was really as painful for her
as it is for me.
Can you believe that?
Actually, I foresaw it.
You knew?
I wanted to tell you,
but you looked so happy,
it gave me the creeps.
I was happy.
I thought we both were.
Oh, Herc!
Hercy, perky, perky,
perky, perky poo.
For a relationship to work,
you gotta read the signs.
The unspoken clues.
The teensy, tiny, subtle hints
that speak volumes. Ah!
You follow what I'm saying?
OK. We're going for quick,
evasive maneuvers here.
I recommend dodging.
Ducking works, too.
Hmm.
Uh, not to pry, but
you seem... down.
So Anaxerete gave
you the ax, huh?
Yeah.
Kid, just 'cause
you're a hero in training
doesn't mean you have
to act like it doesn't hurt.
Open up. Let it all out.
Just don't cry or anything.
Oh, Phil, my heart
has been ripped out
and my world has no meaning.
Whoa! I had no idea
how serious you two were.
You must've been an
item for some time now.
Yeah! Three days!
Days? Uh, maybe
it was for the best.
Nothing this painful
could ever be for the best.
I know it hurts, but take it
from someone who knows.
The best way to get
over your old girlfriend
is to get yourself a new one.
Ohh!
Come on! When you
fall off your winged horse,
you gotta dust yourself off
and get right back on again.
But she was my world!
How can I go on
without that quirky smile?
Those laughing freckles,
and the way her eyes
kind of sparkled and...
Get over it, already!
Puh-lease!
You know what you need?
- A towel?
- Adventure!
Real life or death
heroic escapades!
And I've got just the thing.
"Hero wanted. Guts a must."
That's you.
You got monsters?
Hercules here is the
hero for you, King Tivius.
Well... Geryon is
no ordinary monster.
Your Majesty, Herc
has fought 'em all.
Your minotaurs,
your sea serpents,
cyclops, you name it.
Isn't that right, Herc?
I guess.
Aw!
I don't know.
Oh, Father, hire him.
He's so cute!
But, darling, Livinia,
cute is not a
reasonable criteria.
My daughter is a
hopeless romantic.
Do tell.
I need brute force.
Only the strongest
hero will be able to...
Ohh!
Huh, huh?
Oh, my!
He's hired.
Ahh!
Wah-hoo!
Out of my way!
The king was right.
He isn't ordinary.
I'm mad!
Me, too!
Me, three!
Aah!
There you go. Easy, girl.
Well, guess it's time for
some real life or death heroics.
It's the "or death"
part I'm worried about.
Kid, you could get hurt here.
Ugh! No monster could hurt
me worse than that breakup did.
OK. You see, that's what
we satyrs call crazy talk.
Hey!
Did you hear me?
I'm mad!
Oh, yeah? Well, it's
your turn to listen, Geryon.
You're done
terrorizing this island,
so I suggest you leave or
you'll have to answer to me.
You?
A fight to the finish, Geryon.
I've got nothin' to lose.
Except for a couple
arms and legs.
Me, I can spare a few.
Grrraah!
Oh... my...
Here, take the club.
Aah!
OK. Just a little off your game.
Concentrate.
Take the sword.
Come on, kid, focus!
Here! Take, uh... This!
Aah!
Herc, forget the
girl and get him!
I can't forget Anaxerete,
and this heroic stuff
isn't helping one bit.
Aah!
You are so dead.
But then, I could give this
heroic stuff another shot.
Unh!
Me, six fists.
You, one face.
Do the math.
Huh? Aah!
Huh?
Oh! Aah!
I am fueled by anger!
I can do this all day.
Whoa!
I hate to tell you this, Geryon,
but you caught me
on a really bad day.
Accept defeat... like a man...
And... and... and
I'll let you... live!
Where's my hero? Hercules!
Attaboy, Herc!
You did it! You scared him off!
Ah! What a strong,
courageous hero!
Well... what do
you think did it?
My savage strength,
my... my nerves of steel?
Oh! I bet it was my "I'm a hero,
so don't mess with me" look.
That did the trick.
And that look
can't be taught, kid.
Maybe you're right about
this heroic stuff, Phil.
I'm feeling better already.
Well, I hope you feel hungry.
I'm throwing a royal
feast in your honor.
Oh, say you'll come.
Please?
Of course he'll come, princess.
Come on, Herc. Out with
the old, in with the new.
Eh? Eh?
Get out! No!
You're in high school, too?
What a coincidence!
So is Hercules.
Wow. Philoctetes was right.
We do have a lot in common.
Heh heh. Herc's a
little shy with the ladies.
He needs someone who's
not afraid to, you know,
take the initiative.
He likes you,
though, I can tell.
You gotta read
between the... ribs.
Uh, pardon me. Could
you please pass the squid?
See?
L-o-v-e.
You know, I like squid, too.
It's, like, magical
how similar we are.
Mm-hmm. Mmrgh.
Forgive me for
taking the initiative,
but, Hercules, you and
I were made for ea...
- Aah!
- Oh, no!
Geryon is rearranging
the mountains again.
Don't worry, Your Highness.
I'll put that monster
in his place.
Oh, yeah. This one's a keeper.
I am so...
Not happy!
Put the mountain down, Geryon.
Oh, you again!
I could take you with five
hands tied behind my backs!
Aah! Aah! Aah!
Ha ha ha!
Doesn't look like our triple
threat's gonna run this time.
Neither am I.
Face it, Geryon! You can't win!
I'll take my chances.
Huh? Whoo!
Had enough?
Now have you had enough?
Yes.
The locket! My love!
No!
Kid, watch out!
Aah!
Go ahead. Do
what you have to do.
It doesn't matter anyway.
My hearts have been ripped out.
My world has no meaning. Ohh!
You heard the
triple-header, Herc.
Do what you have to do.
So, how long were
you two an item?
Four days!
Ohh! Whoa!
And I thought I knew heartache.
Oy!
The princess and I,
we had something so... special.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.
You and the... princess?
Yeah. That's why I
ran away before, OK?
I saw her standing there.
A rose among thorns.
I have so much baggage!
So it wasn't my "I'm a hero,
so don't mess with me" look
that scared you off?
No. When I see the princess...
my heads swim.
I can barely breathe. I...
I keep thinking
about what we had.
It was so beautiful.
Ha ha ha!
I know. I know.
You're probably gonna
say it was for the best.
No, man. Hey, I've been there.
You have? You have?
Oh, yeah. I know it hurts.
I know, I know. And just
because you're a monster,
it doesn't mean that you
gotta act like it doesn't.
Open up, man.
Let it out. Let it all out.
How could she dump me?
I'm three times the guy...
her last boyfriend was.
I know, I know, man.
Anybody could see that.
Oh, please! Get
over it, already!
You are a hero.
You are a monster.
You should be fighting,
not blubbering like a
couple of sob sisters!
Oh, what's the use? Fighting
won't... unbreak my heart.
Yeah, and let's face it.
Trashing the
island won't, either.
I know.
It's just... I had
no one to talk to.
Without an appropriate
outlet for my emotions, I...
resorted to
destructive behavior,
Yeah.
Talk to me, man. Talk to me.
Aurora, Goddess of the Dawn,
comes through again.
You're right, man.
A bright new day.
It's kind of a promise.
A promise of something better.
Yeah. You ready
to go to the palace?
What? Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
What does tri-tip here
need to go to the palace for?
If Geryon's gonna
get on with his life,
he's gotta apologize to
the king and the princess
for demolishing the island.
I need closure.
But the princess
and you... I mean, I...
Phil, let him do this, brother.
- Let him do this.
- OK.
Geryon, admitting
you have a problem
is the first step.
I forgive you.
OK. Hard part.
Do you, princess...
Can you forgive... me?
Of course, you big lug.
No hard feelings. I'll even
invite you to the wedding.
Who's... What? Getting married?
Why, Hercules and I, of course.
What? You!
All that talk
about letting go...
when you were holding onto
my beloved... the whole time!
No, no, no! Believe me!
I'm just as surprised
about this are you are!
Oh, Hercules, come on.
The fates themselves
arranged our meeting.
- It was a want ad!
- But Phil said...
Ah, one triple-scoop sundae,
and you'll forget all this.
I'll forget when
Hercules is a memory!
Geryon, please! You
know as well as I do
that I'm still mending
my own broken heart,
and working through my
own emotional vulnerability.
It's way too soon for me to get involved
in... in... in a serious relationship.
Oh! So my princess...
is just a fling?
No, no! That's not it!
- Aah!
- Go get him, fiancé!
You can do it!
I am not your fiancé!
Geryon, listen.
You can work through this,
but first you gotta
beating yourself up.
Oh, I'm done with myself.
It's your turn.
OK, unless you channel this
anger in a more constructive manner,
I'm going to have
to hurt you... whoa!
Aah!
Geryon, please!
If you have the tiniest bit of
love for me in one of your hearts,
have mercy on Hercules.
All three of my
hearts are broken.
So you break his spinal column?
- That helps.
- Whoa!
Ohh... what happened?
You conquered that evil monster,
and we're going to
live happily ever after.
I'll go get you some tea.
What... what really happened?
Three card monte wiped
the island with your rear,
and somehow the princess
still wants to marry you.
Oh, no! What am I gonna do?
I can't marry the princess.
So you don't want a big wedding?
I don't want any wedding!
Oh, I find you a nice girlfriend
to help you get over the last one,
- and this is the thanks I get.
- Girlfriend?
Try fiancé!
Whatever. Hey, I'm no Aphrodite,
but I think you two
make a cute couple.
Phil, she's just not my type.
All right, but
you better tell her
before she's hired a caterer.
Oh, I don't wanna
hurt her feelings.
You have to tell her!
I know, I know!
I just didn't know
it'd be this hard.
There you are, my fiancé.
Ahh!
Fiancé.
Fiancé.
I just love saying that.
Uh, princess... we have to talk.
Princess!
Hey, you...
Believe me, this is as
painful for me as it is for you.
Did I just say that?
You... don't... understand.
Our romance was so
wonderful, so unique.
Ha ha ha!
Uh, princess, we
never did those things.
But we could have!
Ugh! Maybe it's for the best.
Nothing this painful
could ever be for the best!
Princess, that's
exactly how Geryon felt
when you broke up with him.
Really? I had no idea his
feelings for me were so strong.
Are you kidding me?
He is a great guy.
Oh, come on! Six
arms to hold ya?
He's a monster hugger.
That's what he is.
Hmm... maybe I should
give him a second chance.
Oy. Dames.
OK, whatever you do,
don't talk about
the big breakup.
I think Herc is still
hurtin' inside, poor sap.
Hey, guys.
Gadzooks! You look awful!
Man! Breakin' up with Anaxerete,
that must be eatin' you alive.
Ooh! The pain!
The acid of love gone sour
just tearin' your insides
out! Ohh! Oh, man!
Actually, I'm... I'm OK.
I know Anaxerete
didn't wanna hurt me.
She just wanted to break
up, and I'm fine with that.
So you're fine with the fact
that she just walked in
holding hands with Ajax?
What?
Oh, Ajax.
My heart has just
been ripped out!
My world has no meaning!
Ohh!