Hercules (1998–1999): Season 1, Episode 25 - Hercules and the Song of Circe - full transcript
While on Spring Break, everyone is enjoying themselves - with the exception of Cassandra - who is content on reading despite Icarus' determined efforts to get her attention. When she finally vents her frustration, he sobs in Hercules' arms and is charmed by the mysterious Circe.
♪ Who put the
"glad" in gladiator? ♪
♪ Hercules ♪
♪ Whose daring deeds
are great theater? ♪
♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Is he bold? ♪
- ♪ No one braver ♪
- ♪ Is he sweet? ♪
- ♪ Our favorite flavor, Hercules ♪
- ♪ What a guy ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Ask his friends ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
♪ Honey, they won't lie ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Ahh, Hercules ♪
♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Come on ♪
- ♪ No one's fool ♪
♪ Now, the boy's in school ♪
♪ He's in trainin' ♪
♪ Smart and shy ♪
♪ And the nicest guy ♪
♪ No complainin' ♪
♪ He was a no
one, a zero, zero ♪
♪ He'll never quit
till he's a hero ♪
♪ He's the most
likely to succeed ♪
♪ From zero to hero ♪
♪ Herc is a hero ♪
♪ He'll be a hero ♪
Wait and see.
Winter clutches the
Prometheus Academy
in its frosty grip.
But as sure as
night turns to day,
icy winter must give way
to the glory that is spring.
Spring, the season
of love and friendship.
Throughout the campus,
students bustle with
newfound energy...
Hey, where is everyone?
Come on, Bob, didn't you
ever hear of Spring Break?
S-Spring Break?
I think that's a no.
Honey, you could use a vacation.
Why don't you come with us?
Here, Bobby boy, have a ball.
Oh, sweetie pie,
you are a Sun God.
You missed a spot.
Ow!
Oops.
Watch it, Thunder Boy!
You might be on vacation,
But some people are still
on the clock down here!
Hey, Cassandra, why don't
you come hang with the gang?
No thanks.
I'm hanging with my gang,
Aristotle and Plato.
Ah, Cassandra!
Target acquired!
Ooh, Icarus, I think
she wants to be alone.
But, Herc, the conditions
here are perfect.
The sun, the sea, the sand.
Forecast calls for 100%
chance of love, baby!
All right, Icarus,
find out for yourself.
It is an inarguable truth
that all human endeavor
points toward one ultimate goal,
perfection.
He-e-e-y, my Cassandy-wandy!
So much for inarguable truth.
Ha ha!
I don't know what that means.
If you'll excuse
me, I'm reading.
Ooooh! Whatcha got?
Some of that mindless
beach readin'?
Ooooh!
"Aristotle's
Nicomachean Ethics."
And the critics weigh in,
"I couldn't put it
down!" Proclaims Atlas.
Ha ha ha!
See? Atlas, uh...
Uh, also can't put
down the, uh, sky,
which he, uh, holds
on his shoulders.
I'd like to be left
alone. Please?
And hold this big heavy
scroll all by yourself?
No. I don't think
so. I'll read it to you.
Go away!
No, no. Tut-tut. I insist.
Leave me alone.
I insist.
Well, now it's a
multivolume set.
That does it!
Go away and never come back!
Ha! That's my Sassy Cassie!
I'm not your sassy Cassie!
I'm not your Cassie Lassie!
I'm not your anything
and anything else
that stupidly rhymes
with the first thing!
But Cassie, I'm your boyfriend.
You're not my boyfriend!
Oh! Uh... Significant other?
No!
Right. There are no
words for what we have.
How 'bout "goodbye"?
What are you getting at?
You on that side.
Me... Now let's
keep it this way!
Stay out of my life!
OK! You big kidder!
Ha! Ha!
Well, I better go
back to my room.
I, uh, got some
sand in my eye...
and my nose.
Hey, you were kind of
rough on him, weren't you?
He's such a... A freak!
Borderline, sure...
But he's still a good friend.
Don't forget that.
Friend.
Friends. That's us. All right.
Friends. Buddies.
Amigos. Confrères.
Buddies... did I
say buddies yet?
Look, Icarus, you don't have to
pretend you're over Cassandra.
Well, I am. I've
forgotten all about her.
One Sisyphus meatballs
and one Trojan tater tots.
Trojan tater tots!
Tater tots remind
me of Cassandra!
Tots remind me of kids,
which remind me of goats,
who have horns, and
that reminds me of music,
which reminds me of dance,
which rhymes with trance,
which leads me to
the love-induced trance
of Cassandra!
Um, I'll just bring
you a twisty loaf.
Twisty loaf? Oh, man!
Icarus, pull yourself together.
It's not the end of the world.
Yes, it is!
There isn't a woman alive
who could take Cassandra's
place in my heart!
Not one single... Who?
Hubba!
- Oh, baby!
- Mama!
Who is that?
Who is that?
Whoa. Hello.
Homina-homina-homina!
Who is that?
Adonis? Hello?
Who is that?
Who indeed.
This was none other
than Circe the enchantress,
known for her beauty but
feared for her ruthless quest
to capture the perfect man.
Mysterious, dangerous,
cunning, evil...
gorgeous, lovely, beautiful...
Uh, Bobby? You OK? I
never seen you like this now.
Of course, I've
never seen you at all.
Hi, boys. I'm new in town.
I just drifted in on my big,
floating Island of Love...
Sounds normal to me.
And I'm looking for the
best man around to be my...
My new boyfriend.
Anyone interested?
Uh, well...
I thought so.
♪ I been so lonely lately ♪
♪ Feeling down and so low ♪
♪ Bored stiff with
how I'm living ♪
♪ My love life's
moving too slow ♪
♪ But two strong
hands can hold me ♪
♪ And bring me up to speed ♪
♪ One good man ♪
♪ Is all that I need ♪
♪ So come a little closer ♪
♪ There's no need to be shy ♪
♪ Just show me
what you're made of ♪
♪ You might be my kind of guy ♪
♪ Someone whose
squeeze could please me ♪
♪ Could apply a little TLC ♪
♪ One good man ♪
♪ Is all that I need ♪
♪ The smoothest, the smartest ♪
♪ The best, a brooding artist ♪
♪ The handsomest hero hunk ♪
♪ The moment I choose ♪
♪ The rest of you lose ♪
♪ Now show me a little spunk ♪
♪ Chump ♪
♪ My search could end
with ten boyfriends ♪
♪ But I don't go for greed ♪
♪ Somebody give me
one little good man ♪
♪ That's all that I need ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
Looks like I found
my new boyfriend.
Oh, yes!
I may already be a winner!
You picked Ic... But
I'm so very beautiful.
Take another look.
Oh, but I'm so tired of
sculpted, chiseled hunks.
Icarus is different.
He's such a... Oh,
he's such a freak!
It's adorable.
To each her own.
My Island of Love
awaits... Sweet stuff.
Oh, I'm super freaky!
♪ Ye-ow ♪
Oh, I'm so sorry, Cassandra.
I can only imagine how tough
it must be to lose a boyfriend.
He's not my boyfriend!
If Circe wants him,
she can have him.
Oh, Cassandra, I can't
help but feel that your anger
is really just a way to
mask your true hurt feelings.
And I can't help but
feel you're oblivious.
Adonis was ready
to dump you for Circe.
Very clever, Cassandra,
trying to change the subject.
But this isn't about me.
It's about you and
your feelings for Icarus.
You want to know
what I'm feeling?
Elation. I'm glad he's gone!
Delighted! Ecstatic!
Oh. OK. Whatever you say.
Trust me. Before that boat
reaches her island, Circe will realize
that Icarus is nothing
but an annoying little freak.
Ah! You annoying little freak!
I had no idea boat
decks were so slippery!
But goodness, I don't
trip nearly as often on land.
The stain will come out.
Oh, sorry about the duck.
Seize him!
Oh, that's my
little Circe-worsey.
Hmm. No, that's no good.
Oh, how about
Circe-bursey? Circe-mercy!
Just stop me when you
hear a pet name you like.
Try "curse me."
Huh. Circe-curse-me.
You got it, baby.
OK! That's a good one!
Circe-curse-me.
Ooh! Ooh, ooh, ooh!
I should've seen
that one coming.
A platypus?
Aah!
I had to try a
different kind of guy.
Ugh. What a mistake.
Oh, but I was super freaky!
♪ Ye-ow ♪
Like it was a good thing!
Yeah.
Welcome to Suckersville, pal!
Get a load of this guy.
What a loser!
Oh, don't listen to the hyena.
We're all in the same boat.
Circe does this to
all her ex-boyfriends.
Oh, yeah.
She's crazy about you
till it turns out you're not
some kind of superman.
Then she gets
ticked off and zappo...
You're in the zoo.
So tell me, how
long did you last?
Four, five weeks?
Uh, well, actually,
it was, uh...
more like, uh, five... minutes.
Five minutes?
That's a new world record!
Five minutes! Whoo-hoo!
Laugh it up!
They were the best
five minutes of my life.
Icarus, better than me? Ha!
Maybe when the Underworld
goes up in smoke and fire.
Adonis, the Underworld is...
Come off your winged high horse,
Hercules. You're as disappointed as I am.
No, no, no. I-I'm
happy for Icarus.
He deserves to win for once.
So what if I'm 1,000
times stronger than him?
I'm 2,000 times better-looking.
Maybe she didn't get a
good enough look at me.
Why, the poor
girl. I'm going to...
I-I'm going with you.
Ha! I knew you were
as shallow as me.
No, I-I'm not.
I'm, I'm worried
about my friend Icarus.
He might get his
feelings hurt out there.
Whatever you
want to tell yourself.
No, really.
I am. I'm concerned
about him, really.
I'm very, very... concerned
about his welfare.
Mmm. That's why you came?
I was hoping a chiseled
hunk of a man like you
wanted to see me.
See, see you?
Well, uh... yeah.
I mean, of course.
I mean, as long as
I'm here, n-no sense...
Don't listen to this Doric.
Maybe you didn't see
me from my good side.
Behold.
How do you like me now?
Mmm. Not bad.
Not bad at all.
And as an added
bonus, I'm a prince!
Oh, really?
I like princes.
Well, I'm a demigod.
Oh.
I'm the son of Zeus,
and I'm destined to be
the greatest hero the
world has ever known.
Mmm. Impressive. But I
thought you came for your friend.
Who?
Oh! Uh, right. Yeah. Of course.
Yeah, I did, b-but I thought
maybe if it didn't work out
between you two... It didn't.
So go on, dazzle me
with your brilliance.
Well, first of all,
look at this tan.
Have you ever seen
a sight so beautiful?
Yes, as a matter of
fact, on Mount Olympus.
That's my home, you know.
Or it will be when I
achieve my fullest potential.
Yes, of course,
and you'll live there
with all your cute little elf and
pixie friends, Right, Hercules?
How fun! He's crazy!
Ugh.
Ah, I can finally read in peace.
I may actually have to smile.
Chapter eight, friendship.
Of all things on Earth,
friendship is
indispensable to life.
There is nothing without it.
And everything with it!
You can say that again, sister!
For we praise those
who love their friends.
Love, baby.
OK, it's no big deal.
Icarus is gone, and you have
nothing to feel guilty about.
Read your scroll.
For we define a friend
as one who wishes
and does what is good
for the sake of a friend.
Hey, good-lookin'!
Aah!
Hey, where are you going?
Can I get you anything?
And then I came to the most
terrible realization of my life.
I actually missed him...
Missed his freakishness.
I-I don't get it.
You said he got
annoying after five minutes.
I'm not saying it's healthy.
I'm just saying I miss the guy.
Beware... I see
danger on the horizon...
Danger and evil sorcery.
Be afraid. Be very afraid.
Let's talk about happy things.
Ooh, what do you think about
the new spring caftan designs?
Helen, Icarus, Adonis, and
Hercules are in big trouble.
We have to rescue them.
Ooh, an outing!
Nifty!
Yes, he can roll his tongue,
but I can wiggle my ears.
Surely that makes
me your new boyfriend.
I can flare my
nostrils to music!
Ugh.
OK, this is getting really old.
Let's just say
you're both winners.
Both winners?
Shh. I think I hear
them over this way.
Is this some sort
of time-share deal?
I'll have to see the
breakdown on that.
I get her Monday
through Wednesday.
Mental note...
No more Prometheus
Academy students.
Hey! What's happening to us?
W-What am I?
A lemur.
A what? What's that?
Oh, just another addition to
my collection of dumb animals.
Collection?
You evil enchantress!
Look what you've done
to my beautiful body!
Ah, though I do have lovely
plumage, don't you think?
Hey, watch the feathers,
you porcine brute!
These have to
last me a lifetime!
Oh, come on! This
is all a huge mistake!
I was only here to
check up on my friend!
Herc! Adonis! Yoo-hoo!
Hey! This is just
like a class reunion,
Only, you know, we're animals.
This is terrible.
Yeah, but Adonis does
have lovely plumage.
You go bust the
boys out of their cage.
I'm going after Circe.
So...
I hear you only lasted
five minutes. Loser!
Back off, pretty boy!
I have poisonous spurs, and
I am not afraid to lose them!
Now, you'll excuse me. I
have some eggs to bury.
Well, at least I'm the property
of the most gorgeous
woman I've ever seen.
Is that so?
Helen, darling! Peachy one!
I put on my best makeup to rescue
you, and this is the thanks I get?
But, cuddle cub, you
didn't let me finish.
I was going to say, "property
of the most gorgeous woman
I've ever seen...
next to Helen."
Good recovery, no?
Cassandra was right! I am
through being your doormat!
Hey, what's going
on? What's going on?
We're all doomed.
Whoa! Hey, Herc, look! You
still have your demigod strength!
Hey, make that
demi-lemur strength.
What are you doing here?
Helen, get down!
Aah!
Oh, way to go, buddy!
I don't care what
species you are.
You are the bee's knees, baby!
Thanks, Icarus.
Now let's get out of here.
Hey!
Ya-a-a-a-hoo!
I know the way to
freedom. Follow me.
The throne room, Adonis?
Sorry. I am a prince.
It's like a homing instinct.
Well, I liked
having a menagerie,
but I suppose a girl can
always use a fur coat or two.
Aaah!
Haven't you heard, Circe?
Fur is dead.
Ugh!
Does anybody here
have an opposable thumb?
Ohh! Give it!
Not a chance!
You're risking your
life to save these jerks?
Yeah, I know.
Cassie, lassie, you
came to rescue me!
Oh, what a great girlfriend!
He's your boyfriend?
For the last time,
he's not my boyfriend!
Ooh!
Aah!
Whoa. Heard that.
But he is my friend...
my good friend.
OK! Close enough for me.
I'm your friend,
and I'm a boy...
At least I think I still am.
Ah, yeah! Thank you!
Oh! I am back, and I
am better than ever, baby!
You know, I kind
of miss the tail.
Uh-oh. It's not working.
We're just talking pigs, ma'am.
Uh, you mind if we go
root around in the mud?
Knock yourselves out.
Here's your magic thing back.
Wait, one last thing. Ugh!
Oh, great.
How do I break
up with a guy now?
I know of at least 50 ways
that don't require a veterinarian.
Look, nobody's perfect, Circe.
The house of love is built on
a foundation of compromise.
Hello. Is it safe?
Then again, why settle?
What? What could it be?
What's everyone looking at?
Is my plumage askew? Oh, it is.
All right, all right.
Maybe I was a
little too harsh, OK?
But there is a way
to change him back.
First...
Why don't you just
whisper it to me?
So the memorable
spring break concludes.
The students set off for home,
forever changed
by the experience.
Cassandra, I'm turning
over a new leaf...
No more obnoxious
behavior from old Icarus.
No, sirree, Bob.
No more pestering,
not from this fellow.
I've learned my lesson. I'll
never look at another girl again.
Well, that's a start.
Yes, and I think a good one.
Hey, want to watch where
you stick those feathers?
Oh, you're just
loving this, aren't you?
Ha ha ha. I've had worse times.
"glad" in gladiator? ♪
♪ Hercules ♪
♪ Whose daring deeds
are great theater? ♪
♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Is he bold? ♪
- ♪ No one braver ♪
- ♪ Is he sweet? ♪
- ♪ Our favorite flavor, Hercules ♪
- ♪ What a guy ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Ask his friends ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
♪ Honey, they won't lie ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Ahh, Hercules ♪
♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Come on ♪
- ♪ No one's fool ♪
♪ Now, the boy's in school ♪
♪ He's in trainin' ♪
♪ Smart and shy ♪
♪ And the nicest guy ♪
♪ No complainin' ♪
♪ He was a no
one, a zero, zero ♪
♪ He'll never quit
till he's a hero ♪
♪ He's the most
likely to succeed ♪
♪ From zero to hero ♪
♪ Herc is a hero ♪
♪ He'll be a hero ♪
Wait and see.
Winter clutches the
Prometheus Academy
in its frosty grip.
But as sure as
night turns to day,
icy winter must give way
to the glory that is spring.
Spring, the season
of love and friendship.
Throughout the campus,
students bustle with
newfound energy...
Hey, where is everyone?
Come on, Bob, didn't you
ever hear of Spring Break?
S-Spring Break?
I think that's a no.
Honey, you could use a vacation.
Why don't you come with us?
Here, Bobby boy, have a ball.
Oh, sweetie pie,
you are a Sun God.
You missed a spot.
Ow!
Oops.
Watch it, Thunder Boy!
You might be on vacation,
But some people are still
on the clock down here!
Hey, Cassandra, why don't
you come hang with the gang?
No thanks.
I'm hanging with my gang,
Aristotle and Plato.
Ah, Cassandra!
Target acquired!
Ooh, Icarus, I think
she wants to be alone.
But, Herc, the conditions
here are perfect.
The sun, the sea, the sand.
Forecast calls for 100%
chance of love, baby!
All right, Icarus,
find out for yourself.
It is an inarguable truth
that all human endeavor
points toward one ultimate goal,
perfection.
He-e-e-y, my Cassandy-wandy!
So much for inarguable truth.
Ha ha!
I don't know what that means.
If you'll excuse
me, I'm reading.
Ooooh! Whatcha got?
Some of that mindless
beach readin'?
Ooooh!
"Aristotle's
Nicomachean Ethics."
And the critics weigh in,
"I couldn't put it
down!" Proclaims Atlas.
Ha ha ha!
See? Atlas, uh...
Uh, also can't put
down the, uh, sky,
which he, uh, holds
on his shoulders.
I'd like to be left
alone. Please?
And hold this big heavy
scroll all by yourself?
No. I don't think
so. I'll read it to you.
Go away!
No, no. Tut-tut. I insist.
Leave me alone.
I insist.
Well, now it's a
multivolume set.
That does it!
Go away and never come back!
Ha! That's my Sassy Cassie!
I'm not your sassy Cassie!
I'm not your Cassie Lassie!
I'm not your anything
and anything else
that stupidly rhymes
with the first thing!
But Cassie, I'm your boyfriend.
You're not my boyfriend!
Oh! Uh... Significant other?
No!
Right. There are no
words for what we have.
How 'bout "goodbye"?
What are you getting at?
You on that side.
Me... Now let's
keep it this way!
Stay out of my life!
OK! You big kidder!
Ha! Ha!
Well, I better go
back to my room.
I, uh, got some
sand in my eye...
and my nose.
Hey, you were kind of
rough on him, weren't you?
He's such a... A freak!
Borderline, sure...
But he's still a good friend.
Don't forget that.
Friend.
Friends. That's us. All right.
Friends. Buddies.
Amigos. Confrères.
Buddies... did I
say buddies yet?
Look, Icarus, you don't have to
pretend you're over Cassandra.
Well, I am. I've
forgotten all about her.
One Sisyphus meatballs
and one Trojan tater tots.
Trojan tater tots!
Tater tots remind
me of Cassandra!
Tots remind me of kids,
which remind me of goats,
who have horns, and
that reminds me of music,
which reminds me of dance,
which rhymes with trance,
which leads me to
the love-induced trance
of Cassandra!
Um, I'll just bring
you a twisty loaf.
Twisty loaf? Oh, man!
Icarus, pull yourself together.
It's not the end of the world.
Yes, it is!
There isn't a woman alive
who could take Cassandra's
place in my heart!
Not one single... Who?
Hubba!
- Oh, baby!
- Mama!
Who is that?
Who is that?
Whoa. Hello.
Homina-homina-homina!
Who is that?
Adonis? Hello?
Who is that?
Who indeed.
This was none other
than Circe the enchantress,
known for her beauty but
feared for her ruthless quest
to capture the perfect man.
Mysterious, dangerous,
cunning, evil...
gorgeous, lovely, beautiful...
Uh, Bobby? You OK? I
never seen you like this now.
Of course, I've
never seen you at all.
Hi, boys. I'm new in town.
I just drifted in on my big,
floating Island of Love...
Sounds normal to me.
And I'm looking for the
best man around to be my...
My new boyfriend.
Anyone interested?
Uh, well...
I thought so.
♪ I been so lonely lately ♪
♪ Feeling down and so low ♪
♪ Bored stiff with
how I'm living ♪
♪ My love life's
moving too slow ♪
♪ But two strong
hands can hold me ♪
♪ And bring me up to speed ♪
♪ One good man ♪
♪ Is all that I need ♪
♪ So come a little closer ♪
♪ There's no need to be shy ♪
♪ Just show me
what you're made of ♪
♪ You might be my kind of guy ♪
♪ Someone whose
squeeze could please me ♪
♪ Could apply a little TLC ♪
♪ One good man ♪
♪ Is all that I need ♪
♪ The smoothest, the smartest ♪
♪ The best, a brooding artist ♪
♪ The handsomest hero hunk ♪
♪ The moment I choose ♪
♪ The rest of you lose ♪
♪ Now show me a little spunk ♪
♪ Chump ♪
♪ My search could end
with ten boyfriends ♪
♪ But I don't go for greed ♪
♪ Somebody give me
one little good man ♪
♪ That's all that I need ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
Looks like I found
my new boyfriend.
Oh, yes!
I may already be a winner!
You picked Ic... But
I'm so very beautiful.
Take another look.
Oh, but I'm so tired of
sculpted, chiseled hunks.
Icarus is different.
He's such a... Oh,
he's such a freak!
It's adorable.
To each her own.
My Island of Love
awaits... Sweet stuff.
Oh, I'm super freaky!
♪ Ye-ow ♪
Oh, I'm so sorry, Cassandra.
I can only imagine how tough
it must be to lose a boyfriend.
He's not my boyfriend!
If Circe wants him,
she can have him.
Oh, Cassandra, I can't
help but feel that your anger
is really just a way to
mask your true hurt feelings.
And I can't help but
feel you're oblivious.
Adonis was ready
to dump you for Circe.
Very clever, Cassandra,
trying to change the subject.
But this isn't about me.
It's about you and
your feelings for Icarus.
You want to know
what I'm feeling?
Elation. I'm glad he's gone!
Delighted! Ecstatic!
Oh. OK. Whatever you say.
Trust me. Before that boat
reaches her island, Circe will realize
that Icarus is nothing
but an annoying little freak.
Ah! You annoying little freak!
I had no idea boat
decks were so slippery!
But goodness, I don't
trip nearly as often on land.
The stain will come out.
Oh, sorry about the duck.
Seize him!
Oh, that's my
little Circe-worsey.
Hmm. No, that's no good.
Oh, how about
Circe-bursey? Circe-mercy!
Just stop me when you
hear a pet name you like.
Try "curse me."
Huh. Circe-curse-me.
You got it, baby.
OK! That's a good one!
Circe-curse-me.
Ooh! Ooh, ooh, ooh!
I should've seen
that one coming.
A platypus?
Aah!
I had to try a
different kind of guy.
Ugh. What a mistake.
Oh, but I was super freaky!
♪ Ye-ow ♪
Like it was a good thing!
Yeah.
Welcome to Suckersville, pal!
Get a load of this guy.
What a loser!
Oh, don't listen to the hyena.
We're all in the same boat.
Circe does this to
all her ex-boyfriends.
Oh, yeah.
She's crazy about you
till it turns out you're not
some kind of superman.
Then she gets
ticked off and zappo...
You're in the zoo.
So tell me, how
long did you last?
Four, five weeks?
Uh, well, actually,
it was, uh...
more like, uh, five... minutes.
Five minutes?
That's a new world record!
Five minutes! Whoo-hoo!
Laugh it up!
They were the best
five minutes of my life.
Icarus, better than me? Ha!
Maybe when the Underworld
goes up in smoke and fire.
Adonis, the Underworld is...
Come off your winged high horse,
Hercules. You're as disappointed as I am.
No, no, no. I-I'm
happy for Icarus.
He deserves to win for once.
So what if I'm 1,000
times stronger than him?
I'm 2,000 times better-looking.
Maybe she didn't get a
good enough look at me.
Why, the poor
girl. I'm going to...
I-I'm going with you.
Ha! I knew you were
as shallow as me.
No, I-I'm not.
I'm, I'm worried
about my friend Icarus.
He might get his
feelings hurt out there.
Whatever you
want to tell yourself.
No, really.
I am. I'm concerned
about him, really.
I'm very, very... concerned
about his welfare.
Mmm. That's why you came?
I was hoping a chiseled
hunk of a man like you
wanted to see me.
See, see you?
Well, uh... yeah.
I mean, of course.
I mean, as long as
I'm here, n-no sense...
Don't listen to this Doric.
Maybe you didn't see
me from my good side.
Behold.
How do you like me now?
Mmm. Not bad.
Not bad at all.
And as an added
bonus, I'm a prince!
Oh, really?
I like princes.
Well, I'm a demigod.
Oh.
I'm the son of Zeus,
and I'm destined to be
the greatest hero the
world has ever known.
Mmm. Impressive. But I
thought you came for your friend.
Who?
Oh! Uh, right. Yeah. Of course.
Yeah, I did, b-but I thought
maybe if it didn't work out
between you two... It didn't.
So go on, dazzle me
with your brilliance.
Well, first of all,
look at this tan.
Have you ever seen
a sight so beautiful?
Yes, as a matter of
fact, on Mount Olympus.
That's my home, you know.
Or it will be when I
achieve my fullest potential.
Yes, of course,
and you'll live there
with all your cute little elf and
pixie friends, Right, Hercules?
How fun! He's crazy!
Ugh.
Ah, I can finally read in peace.
I may actually have to smile.
Chapter eight, friendship.
Of all things on Earth,
friendship is
indispensable to life.
There is nothing without it.
And everything with it!
You can say that again, sister!
For we praise those
who love their friends.
Love, baby.
OK, it's no big deal.
Icarus is gone, and you have
nothing to feel guilty about.
Read your scroll.
For we define a friend
as one who wishes
and does what is good
for the sake of a friend.
Hey, good-lookin'!
Aah!
Hey, where are you going?
Can I get you anything?
And then I came to the most
terrible realization of my life.
I actually missed him...
Missed his freakishness.
I-I don't get it.
You said he got
annoying after five minutes.
I'm not saying it's healthy.
I'm just saying I miss the guy.
Beware... I see
danger on the horizon...
Danger and evil sorcery.
Be afraid. Be very afraid.
Let's talk about happy things.
Ooh, what do you think about
the new spring caftan designs?
Helen, Icarus, Adonis, and
Hercules are in big trouble.
We have to rescue them.
Ooh, an outing!
Nifty!
Yes, he can roll his tongue,
but I can wiggle my ears.
Surely that makes
me your new boyfriend.
I can flare my
nostrils to music!
Ugh.
OK, this is getting really old.
Let's just say
you're both winners.
Both winners?
Shh. I think I hear
them over this way.
Is this some sort
of time-share deal?
I'll have to see the
breakdown on that.
I get her Monday
through Wednesday.
Mental note...
No more Prometheus
Academy students.
Hey! What's happening to us?
W-What am I?
A lemur.
A what? What's that?
Oh, just another addition to
my collection of dumb animals.
Collection?
You evil enchantress!
Look what you've done
to my beautiful body!
Ah, though I do have lovely
plumage, don't you think?
Hey, watch the feathers,
you porcine brute!
These have to
last me a lifetime!
Oh, come on! This
is all a huge mistake!
I was only here to
check up on my friend!
Herc! Adonis! Yoo-hoo!
Hey! This is just
like a class reunion,
Only, you know, we're animals.
This is terrible.
Yeah, but Adonis does
have lovely plumage.
You go bust the
boys out of their cage.
I'm going after Circe.
So...
I hear you only lasted
five minutes. Loser!
Back off, pretty boy!
I have poisonous spurs, and
I am not afraid to lose them!
Now, you'll excuse me. I
have some eggs to bury.
Well, at least I'm the property
of the most gorgeous
woman I've ever seen.
Is that so?
Helen, darling! Peachy one!
I put on my best makeup to rescue
you, and this is the thanks I get?
But, cuddle cub, you
didn't let me finish.
I was going to say, "property
of the most gorgeous woman
I've ever seen...
next to Helen."
Good recovery, no?
Cassandra was right! I am
through being your doormat!
Hey, what's going
on? What's going on?
We're all doomed.
Whoa! Hey, Herc, look! You
still have your demigod strength!
Hey, make that
demi-lemur strength.
What are you doing here?
Helen, get down!
Aah!
Oh, way to go, buddy!
I don't care what
species you are.
You are the bee's knees, baby!
Thanks, Icarus.
Now let's get out of here.
Hey!
Ya-a-a-a-hoo!
I know the way to
freedom. Follow me.
The throne room, Adonis?
Sorry. I am a prince.
It's like a homing instinct.
Well, I liked
having a menagerie,
but I suppose a girl can
always use a fur coat or two.
Aaah!
Haven't you heard, Circe?
Fur is dead.
Ugh!
Does anybody here
have an opposable thumb?
Ohh! Give it!
Not a chance!
You're risking your
life to save these jerks?
Yeah, I know.
Cassie, lassie, you
came to rescue me!
Oh, what a great girlfriend!
He's your boyfriend?
For the last time,
he's not my boyfriend!
Ooh!
Aah!
Whoa. Heard that.
But he is my friend...
my good friend.
OK! Close enough for me.
I'm your friend,
and I'm a boy...
At least I think I still am.
Ah, yeah! Thank you!
Oh! I am back, and I
am better than ever, baby!
You know, I kind
of miss the tail.
Uh-oh. It's not working.
We're just talking pigs, ma'am.
Uh, you mind if we go
root around in the mud?
Knock yourselves out.
Here's your magic thing back.
Wait, one last thing. Ugh!
Oh, great.
How do I break
up with a guy now?
I know of at least 50 ways
that don't require a veterinarian.
Look, nobody's perfect, Circe.
The house of love is built on
a foundation of compromise.
Hello. Is it safe?
Then again, why settle?
What? What could it be?
What's everyone looking at?
Is my plumage askew? Oh, it is.
All right, all right.
Maybe I was a
little too harsh, OK?
But there is a way
to change him back.
First...
Why don't you just
whisper it to me?
So the memorable
spring break concludes.
The students set off for home,
forever changed
by the experience.
Cassandra, I'm turning
over a new leaf...
No more obnoxious
behavior from old Icarus.
No, sirree, Bob.
No more pestering,
not from this fellow.
I've learned my lesson. I'll
never look at another girl again.
Well, that's a start.
Yes, and I think a good one.
Hey, want to watch where
you stick those feathers?
Oh, you're just
loving this, aren't you?
Ha ha ha. I've had worse times.