Hercules (1998–1999): Season 1, Episode 24 - Hercules and the All Nighter - full transcript

♪ Who put the
"glad" in gladiator? ♪

♪ Hercules ♪

♪ Whose daring deeds
are great theater? ♪

♪ Hercules ♪

- ♪ Is he bold? ♪
- ♪ No one braver ♪

- ♪ Is he sweet? ♪
- ♪ Our favorite flavor, Hercules ♪

- ♪ What a guy ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪

- ♪ Ask his friends ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪

♪ Honey, they won't lie ♪

- ♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Ahh, Hercules ♪

♪ Hercules ♪



- ♪ Come on ♪
- ♪ No one's fool ♪

♪ Now the boy's in school ♪

♪ He's in trainin' ♪

♪ Smart and shy ♪

- ♪ And the nicest guy ♪
- ♪ No complainin' ♪

♪ He was a no one ♪

♪ Zero, zero ♪

♪ Give him a quick deed ♪

♪ He's our hero ♪

♪ He's the most
likely to succeed ♪

♪ From zero to hero ♪

♪ Herc is a hero ♪

♪ He'll be a hero ♪

Wait and see!



Dusk, the golden hour
when day gives way to night.

As man and beast bid
adieu to another day,

the toil of the God of
Sleep is just beginning.

Every night, Morpheus
throws his blanket of slumber

across the land,

assuring a peaceful night's
repose to all who dwell there...

whether they like it or not.

Come on, champ. Beddy-bye time.

Aah! I'm... I'm
awake! I'm awake.

Ha! Even a hero
needs eight hours, kid.

Phil, it's finals week.

I just don't have
time for sleep.

I'll just study...
for a few more...

Yeah.

Ah! I'm never going to
memorize all these names

in time for the final!

It's easy. You just have
to know a few tricks.

Oh, I got one.

I can blow milk
bubbles with my nose.

Huh? Huh?

Take Arachne.

To remember who she is,

just know the word "whistle."

Wove herself into
spiderhood to live eternally...

W-h-i-s-t-I-e.

"Whistle."

Yeah!

OK. For Alectryon, know
the word "academic."

Alectryon crows at dawn
11 miles into Corinth.

Oh, oh, oh! How 'bout Io...

Woman Hera made a cow.

Whmac? What kind
of word is "whmac"?

You know!

As in whmac beautiful
music together, my sweet!

Ha ha ha.

Ohh, it's useless.

The only way we'd
cram everything in

is if we study day and night.

What are you gonna do,

beseech the God of
Sleep to back off for a week

so you two can have
extra study time?

- Morpheus!
- Morpheus!

Why is it no one takes me
seriously unless I'm joking?

Oh, Morpheus!

Hello-o-o-o-!

Hello, students.

Ah! Morpheus, here's the deal.

We have a final tomorrow,

and the teacher is the
toughest, meanest...

Hard-nosed?

Yeah, thanks.

Hard-nosed...

I respect and admire him so...

Yes, well, I hate
to "bum you out,"

but Morpheus'
cave is sound-proof.

He can only be
beseeched in person,

but no one's ever
"crashed at his pad."

They all fall asleep
on the way there.

Hmm!

I guess if you slackers
were prepared for my exam,

you would know that.

Oh, we are so dead.

You, my friend, are
a hero, and I am...

Well, I'm abnormally energetic.

Come on! If anybody can
stay awake for that journey,

it is we.

Yeah! Let's do it!

I joke and they listen,

but if I foresee a
rain of boiling lead,

nobody even puts on a jacket.

Can't... go... on.

Too tired.

Icarus, come on.

What happened to all
that abnormal energy?

Energy go bye-bye.

Icky sleep now.

Icarus! Wake up!

OK!

Icky hard-of-hearing now.

Ohh.

Aah!

Uh, anybody home?

We knocked, but,
uh... Oh. Oh, my.

You know, I've never
had a visitor before.

You... you would
have to be a demi-god

or at least abnormally
energetic to make it here.

I have some coffee, but
it's been around for a while.

It's pre-Colombian.

Oh, uh, no, thanks.

Actually we, um, kind
of need a small favor.

Favor? You have a favor
you'd like to ask of me?

You know how certain things
in life kind of creep up on you?

Yeah, like birthdays,
underwear...

And finals week, you know?

There I was, spending
the year being a hero,

and... and the son of Zeus...

That's the son of the Zeus.

Let me top you off.

So we were thinkin', you know,

if we don't have to sleep,

we could study
'round the sundial.

Yeah. We'd... we'd
ace our finals...

Graduate with honors...

- Get into laurel league colleges.
- Ha ha ha. So what do you say?

All you have to do is lay
off the sleep thing for a week.

There. Comfortable?

You the sandman.

Hmm.

No. Thanks for
stopping by, though.

What?!

That's it? Just "no"?

I appreciate your situation.

I just can't... I can't... I can't do it.
You have to put yourself in my slippers.

I have got all of Greece and
parts of Persia to take care of.

I... I... I can't keep
everyone waiting

because a few kids are
unprepared for their finals.

Let's segue from shameless
kissing up to pitiful begging.

Please, please,
please, Morpheus?

Come on, pretty please? Oh,
come on, with sugar on top.

Oh, come on! Please?
I'm beggin' you here!

No. And I've decided
I don't like visitors,

present company included.

Did you grow up in a stable?

Shut the door. It
is freezing in here.

Oh, right. Anything you need.
Icarus, get the door. I'll get a blanket.

No, no, no, not that
blanket because th...

I'm outta here.

Icarus!

Oh! That is a cozy blankie.

It's Morpheus' sleep blanket.

Whoa! You put Morpheus to sleep?

It... it was an accident.
I'll wake him up.

Wait, wait, wait. Whoa, whoa.

You know the expression
"let sleeping gods lie."

That's "sleeping dogs lie."

Really?

Hmm. What's the big deal there?

Look, Herc, Morpheus can't
spread sleep if he's sleeping!

You got it, genius?!

Come on. Mission accomplished.

But we can't... Hmm.

He does really look
like he needs a nap.

Well, we'll wake him up
after finals are over, huh?

Who's it gonna hurt?

Here. You're gonna
ruin your eyes.

Oh, thanks, Phil.

You sure you don't want
to catch some zetas?

No, no, no, no, I'm on a
roll. Who needs sleep?

I do, but I can't catch
wink one for some reason.

R-r-really?

Isn't... isn't... isn't
that something?

Students, if you're
ready, we'll begin...

Ah... The rest... I mean test.

I just hope you got
more sleep than I.

For some reason the
sandman dissed me last night.

Uh... uh... uh! Eyes
on your own... paper.

Uh, sir? May I be excused?

Hercules, you will
not leave this room

until your exam is complete.

And that goes
for the rest of you

bohunks and bettys.

When you have answered every
question to the best of your knowledge,

then and only then,
you are free to...

jam on it.

You two were so right
about the sleep thing.

Who needs it?

Snoozers are losers.

Snoring is boring.

Ha ha! Naps are for saps.

Ha ha ha!

I was just going to comment
on your delightful laugh,

but I know how my constant
adoration annoys you.

School! We're going
to be late for school!

Well, I hate to point
out the obvious,

- but we already are at school.
- Oh. Yeah.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Hercules and his friends

weren't the only ones
experiencing strange side effects.

All over Greece and
in parts of Persia,

the sleepless nights
were taking their toll.

And Hades himself was
running the toll booth.

I feel so alive!

Ha-cha-cha-cha-cha! Ha!

Who wants to bet that
today's numbers will be

even better than yesterday's?!

What day is it today? Who
can tell? Who cares? Ha!

♪ Even the graveyard
shift is booming ♪

♪ Boom boom boom
boom boom boom boom ♪

Aah! Oh! Aah!

Eey! Aah! Oh!

Ow!

We have to be honest,
Your Improbable Giddiness.

We think this boom
is suspicious in origin.

♪ Boom boom boom
boom boom boom boom ♪

Why should I listen to you two,

who obviously haven't slept...

Or brushed your
fangs... hooey...

In days?

You're just being
paranoid, you little monkeys.

We're not paranoid!

We just think this
increase in customers...

is part of a multinational,
possibly cosmic, conspiracy!

Oy yi!

Less hearsay, more breath spray.

We're worried about you, boss.

You're being set
up for a big fall.

Boys, boys, look at me.

I'm up to my ears
in chariot accidents,

workplace mishaps, people
collapsing on the street!

Come on. It's a
wonderful afterlife!

Hey, hey!

Welcome!

Ooh, gee, you look
like you need lots of rest.

Why don't you just stay
here for... oh... ever. Ha!

Boys, look, huh?
Lots of dead people.

It's nice. Come on.

If only I'd gotten some shuteye,

I would've looked both ways
before crossing the street.

There you go. You see, huh?

The less sleep they get, hmm,

the more customers I get.

Sweet, huh?

But sooner or later,
people have to sleep.

Ha-cha-cha. Ha ha ha. OK.

Aah! At least that's
what Pain said.

What do you suggest
we do, Mr. Paranoia?

Huh? Tell me. Go ahead.

Follow the money?

The truth is up there.

All right, all right.

Let's find out why no one is sleeping
and make sure we keep it that way.

I want some food!

I want food!

Go away!

Excuse me, but we
came here to, uh... Uh...

Why did we come here again?

We're out of food, OK?

Hear that, people?
There is no more food!

Now, please, just leave!

I want some food!

Whee! Ha ha ha!

Get a hold of yourself, woman!

Something's making people crazy.

Well, perhaps we're
feeling the adverse effects

of sleep deprivation.

Or maybe... maybe we're
feeling the adverse effects

of sleep deprivation.

Ha ha!

He said the same words.

How can you laugh at
Herc's failing memory?

This dearth of Morpheus has
had serious side effects, lady.

Morpheus!

I've got to wake up Morpheus!

Lighten up.

Darken down.

Quick. Where was I going?

Ba-da-bing. Hades,
here. How ya' doin'?

Morpheus, babe! I love what
you've done with the sleep thing.

Come on! Let's schmooze, baby.

Let's talk long term.

Will you look at this? Ho ho.

The God of Sleep...

- Is.
- Under his own blanket.

Hmmm!

If that is him, and if
that is his blanket...

Using a god's own
powers against him...

Almost nothing
can undo that spell.

It's evil genius!

Ha! Why didn't I think of this?

Why, indeed, unless
you really aren't Hades!

Take off the mask!

Are you joking with this?

Are you worried about him?

Uh, a little.

Hey, look, I gotta
get back to work.

I kinda need you two to make
sure Morpheus doesn't wake up.

You think you could handle
that without freakin' out?

OK, boss.

So you'll just stay here

and not take your beady little
blood-shot eyes off him, OK?

- Got it?
- Got it! Got it!

Aah!

Morpheus, come awake!

Morpheus?

Please?

God! Hercules?

What are you doing? Stop!

Pain and Panic?
What have you done?

What have you done?

What have I done?

What have I done?

Oh, shoot! Darn it. I knew
it when I came in here.

Give me... give me a second.

Hey, he didn't wake up.

Ugh!

It's no use. He's a god.
I'm only a demi-god.

Ha! Hades was right!

Nothin's gonna
wake this dude up!

See? Nothin'!

There's got to be something.

Hmm! Look at him go.

Big hero in a big hurry.

Too big of a hurry.

Hades said almost nothing
could wake Morpheus.

Almost means there is something.

If Hercules... If
that was Hercules...

Finds that something...

Morpheus will wake up,

and Hades will blame us!

Aah! Aah!

I'm telling ya, kid,
something's going on!

I'm keeping hours I haven't
kept since I was your age.

I'm awake, alert, alive!

I think I'm getting
my youth back!

Hey, don't be so glum.

I still got time for you.

You wanna race?

Hmm.

Kid, talk to me. What's wrong?

I... I... ahh, I can't remember.

I can't remember anything, Phil.

Ah, you're worried about finals.

Last night, after I painted the bathroom
and repainted the kitchen shelves,

I made flash cards!

Ready? Go. "Ageis...
some goatskin thing."

"Alectryon... Rooster with
the power to wake anyone."

"Atryeus..."

Oh, Phil! What about Alectryon?

Boy, that no-good squawker
was the worst student I ever had.

I don't wanna talk
about it. Too painful.

No, no. You got
to tell me, Phil.

It was such an easy gig...

Sentry, glorified watchdog,

but Alectryon fell
asleep on duty.

I've never been so embarrassed,
except maybe that time

I had a tree nymph and a water
nymph schedule mix-up. Ha ha.

Phil, I really need
to stay on track here.

What about Alectryon?

Turned into a talking rooster.

Now he wakes everyone
at the crack of dawn.

Everyone? Even gods?

Every man, beast, and
god who can hear that crow

will wake up, no matter what.

Ha! That's it!

Alectryon can wake up Morpheus!

Mmm-aah!

Ecch!

Look, can we get back
to academics here?

Not now, Phil. I'm off
to save the, uh... uh...

Day?

Day!

Aah! Aah!

What'd he say? What'd he say?

Aw, just something about a talking
rooster who can wake Morpheus.

Aah, Panic, that's it!

We got to get that rooster!

Look, we know that Hercules
needs a talking rooster,

so all we have to do is
collect every rooster in Greece,

and find the one that talks.

You came up with
that plan just like that?

You're in on it, aren't ya?

OK, Pegasus, I
got to remember...

Alectryon crows at dawn
11 miles into Corinth.

Oh, man, I hope this is it.

86 miles into Crete?

Alectryon?!

Aah!

Umph!

Unh! Ugh!

Take that!

And that! Unh!

Wait. Just a sec, will ya?

Listen, I'll have to take you
out as soon as I catch my breath.

Not if I catch my breath first.

This insomnia's killing me.

I've let 5 heroes
walk this week alone.

Look, I didn't
come here to fight.

I'm just looking for Alectryon.

Alectryon crows at dawn
11 miles into Corinth.

Didn't you go to school?

Oh, Corinth, right!

Thanks. I owe ya one.

Just don't let it out that
I didn't smack you up.

I got a rep to keep.

Oh, yeah. No problem.
Uh, Alectryon crows at...

Without your help, people
may never sleep again.

Good! Now, leave me alone.

How can you say that?

Listen, ever since I got
this rooster thing going,

I'm everybody's worst enemy.

Do you think people enjoy being
woken up at the crack of dawn?

Oh! Whoa, uh, I never
really thought about it.

Believe me.

I've tried to shut
up, but I can't help it.

The sun's up and I'm
crowin' like a big idiot.

Just... just come with me and...

Last couple of
days, I got it easy.

No one's sleepin', no
one's wakin' up at dawn,

no one's blamin' me.

But if you'd just hear me out.

Look, do I have to
spell it out for you?

N-o!

Ow! Aah!

Step right up and dive in!

See Grandma again!

Room for everyone! Here we go!

Coming through! Make way!

Ahem! Hello-o-o.
What are we doing?

We're in search
of a talking rooster

with the power to wake Morpheus.

Un-huh! So, we... we, like,
gathered every foul we could find.

We have ways of making you talk.

Question.

If you're here, who's
watching Morpheus?

Oh!

Now, this sounds like Hades.

Haven't I suffered enough?

Could somebody spare
me a shred of dignity?

Look, I'm sorry, I just need you
to crow and wake up Morpheus.

Morpheus?

Let me at him!

If it wasn't for him and
his stupid sleep blanket,

I'd still be human!

You mean Morpheus was the
reason you fell asleep on watch?

Well, that and the
9-course meal I'd just eaten.

Look, you may hold a
grudge against Morpheus,

but if you don't crow here,

the whole world
is going to suffer.

You put him to sleep
with his own blanket?

Why didn't I think of that?

It was an accident... at first.

I needed more time to study,

and so I left the
blanket on him.

I was selfish and
foolish and... Lazy?

Lazy.

Kind of like you were the
night you fell asleep on watch?

- Touché.
- See? We all make mistakes.

Will you crow?

Forget it, Jerkules. Hello-o-o.

Hades, Lord of the Dead, deal
closer. How ya doin'? Let's talk.

Hades, stay out of this.

Yeah, right.

Look, rooster, you got yourself in
deep cock-doodle-doo here, babe.

You need moi. I can
make you human again.

Arms, legs, the
whole chimichanga.

And in return, you just let Morpheus
continue the big sleep. Huh?

No, don't listen to him!

You don't... you don't
want to be human again.

You're famous as a rooster.

Yeah, that's fun. OK.
Peck your name right here.

Everyone learns
about you in school.

Academic... Alectryon
crows at dawn...

Dawn!

Ha ha. I just
remembered the time.

The dawn!

Must fight idiot
rooster instinct.

Cocka... Oh!

Cocka-doodle-doo!

Oh, why?

Yes! You're awake!

Oh!

Do you... do you know what it's
going to cost me to fix that hole?

Morpheus, so, do you
feel rested or what, huh?

I bet you could use a nice
nap more often, like now.

Ha! See, that way you get more rest, I
rake in more customers. What do you say?

What do you mean,
more customers?

Ah, a few incidents
and accidents.

Don't worry about
it. Come on. Relax.

Hey, Hades, I... I will
need those people back.

Ha ha. Say what?

They just look like
death warmed over.

They need sleep, that's all.

I think you jumped the
gun on this one, you know?

No! That's impossible!

Ahh!

Anybody feel like
a cup of coffee?

Hey, hey, hey, Hades!
What about the chimichanga?

Well, at least it's
made with chicken.

Is there anything I can do to
make up for this mess I've caused?

I tell you what
we're going to do.

We're going to make the
punishment fit the crime.

Well, good night, Greece.

What's good about it?

We still have parts
of Persia to go

before we sleep.