Hercules (1998–1999): Season 1, Episode 15 - Hercules and the Girdle of Hippolyte - full transcript
Queen Hippolyte kidnaps her daughter, Tempest, and makes her undergo a savage initiation ceremony to regain her status as an Amazonian warrior and to earn the right to wear the Golden ...
♪ Who put the
"glad" in gladiator? ♪
♪ Hercules ♪
♪ Whose daring deeds
are great theater? ♪
♪ Hercules ♪
♪ Is he bold? ♪
♪ No one braver ♪
♪ Is he sweet? ♪
♪ Our favorite
flavor, Hercules ♪
- ♪ What a guy ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Ask his friends ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
♪ Honey, they won't lie ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Ahh, Hercules ♪
♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Come on ♪
- ♪ No one's fool ♪
♪ Now the boy's in school ♪
♪ He's in trainin' ♪
♪ Sun is shinin' ♪
♪ And the nicest guy ♪
♪ No complainin' ♪
♪ He was a no one ♪
♪ Zero, zero, give
him a quick deed ♪
♪ He's our hero ♪
♪ He's the most
likely to succeed ♪
♪ From zero to hero ♪
♪ Herc is a hero ♪
♪ He'll be a hero ♪
Wait and see!
Ooh! Ooh! Oh! Aah!
Oh!
Unh!
Help me!
Aah!
Whoa, whoa whoa!
Help, somebody!
A big strong hero, for example!
I'll save you! Aah!
Ughh!
Help, I say!
I repeat!
Help!
Uh-oh.
Help!
I'm not kidding!
Ooh, thank you,
you big strong hero.
Not the fastest
rescue on record,
but at least you
finally got to...
Uh, Phil, there's something you should
know about this damsel in distress.
What are you... Ahem!
What are you talking about?
She's uh, not quite a damsel.
Yech! This is the last time
I'm ordering from the
Zero To Hero catalog.
Well, the rescue
still counts, right?
I mean, just because
it's a dude in distress
doesn't make a
difference, does it?
Kid, it only makes
all the difference in the world.
Listen, hero rule number
147, dudes save damsels.
Women are delicate,
frail, and helpless.
That's what they do... delicate
stuff, like cooking and cleaning.
But isn't that stuff hard work?
The point is, if you're
gonna be a real hero,
you gotta rescue
damsels, not some dude.
But what about the
time I saved you?
That is totally different.
Really? Ha! How!
Well, it's... I mean...
Hey, would you look at the time?
You better get to school, hero.
Home greconomics.
Ugh, how I dread this class!
Oh, but muffin cakes,
it prepares us for the day when
we're equal domestic partners.
Plus you get to
eat your mistakes!
Ho!
I was being narrow-minded.
It's my life that I dread.
OK. Simmer down, people.
Let's get cooking!
Ha ha ha!
Uh, ahem!
Okey-dokey, artichokies,
Today we'll be making
stuffed olive surprise,
and home-baked pita bread!
Yummy!
Let's all measure
out two cups of flour.
Uh, flour... cup.
You... do it.
Now add just a
pinch of baking soda.
Ha! Very funny. Look,
you're the girl, so you should...
Make you do the
cooking. It's only natural.
Separate the eggs.
Don't fall behind now.
Tempest, come on.
Food preparation
is your department.
I'm a warrior, not a cook.
Well, I never cooked in my life!
And it's time you start!
- Tempest!
- Hercules!
Hey, guys, can I borrow some...
Flour?
Ha ha ha!
Ho, yeah!
Thank you! Huh?
Honey, see what fun
they're having over here?
Oh, come on. You gotta admit,
that was... that was kinda funny.
Perhaps it was
slightly humorous.
What-what's wrong?
If I got caught smiling,
I'd be hauled away
in an instant.
Wh... Aw, come on.
- Who would...
- Aah!
Hut, hut, hut, hut!
Hyah!
- Hyah!
- Hyah!
Aah!
You have brought shame
to your Amazon sisters.
Hey, what's going on here?
Mind your own business!
All right! Move out!
Come on!
Let go of her!
Huh?
Stuffed olive loaf, huh?
Which way did they go?
If I tell you the docks,
will you go racing
off into a situation
you cannot possibly comprehend?
I gotta save Tempest!
Just checking.
Stroke!
Looks like our boy Herc's
about to learn a lesson
in tough from Tempest
and the Amazons.
And, honey, Miss
Tempest is a purring kitten
compared to her mama!
Mm-hmm.
Hey, thanks for
covering for me, ladies.
My yoga class
went a little long.
No problem, bobby, baby.
Oh, now, where were we?
Settin' sail for the
island of the Amazons.
And a date with Queen Hippolyta.
Atten-hut, ladies!
Do you pathetic,
lilly-livered papa's girls
have the nerve to call
yourselves Amazons?
Yes, Queen Hippolyta!
Had that exercise
been actual combat,
our heads would be
skewered on pikes by now.
And we'd deserve it!
Was that a flinch?
Uh, eh, um...
I didn't catch that.
Queen, yes, queen!
Scorpion pit, now.
With pleasure, Your Highness!
Hut, hut, hut!
Are you still here?
Hut, hut, hut!
Out of my way!
Unh! Unh! Unh! Ugh!
Unh! Mother!
What is the meaning
of this outrage?
Well, well.
If it isn't little miss
hearts and flowers.
Meaning what?
Face it, Tempest,
you've lost your edge.
Gone soft, weak. Dainty.
This report on your
activities disgusts me!
I never should've listened to
your father about that school.
You spied on me?
September 16, a
sophomore cuts in front of you
in the lunch line
and survives to tell the tale.
Yes, but he'll never
walk the same.
November 5, shop class.
A nail goes through your thumb
and you let others
see you wince in pain.
I made no audible gasp.
November 8...
Who are you and
what do you want?
Uh... The name's Hercules.
I've come to rescue Tempest?
Ha! To suggest that
an Amazon warrior
needs help from a man is an
insult that will cost you dearly!
Now, take your
punishment like a woman!
I meant it nicely!
Honest!
After him!
Not a bad effort,
for the weaker sex.
March 19, while
competing in a spelling bee,
you faltered on
the word eviscerate.
Oh! You're right, Mother.
I am weak.
I disgust myself!
Everything is mixed up
at that school, Tempest.
And it's turning you to mush.
I've been so blind!
You belong here,
where you can hone your
womanly skills as a warrior
until you're pure lethal weapon.
Only then will you be
worthy of the golden girdle.
Whoa. Hold the phone.
Did she say girdle?
You heard right, baby.
We're talking 18 hours
of 24-karat support.
Yes, the golden girdle.
Gift from ares and lingerie
of the Amazon queen.
But this shiny undergarment
is not a birthright.
Even a princess
must earn the honor
of becoming one of the
few, the proud, the girdled.
I'll do anything, Mother.
I beg for a chance
to prove myself!
Then tonight, I will put
you to the challenge!
This night will seem
like a punishing, grueling,
brain-numbing eternity.
Gut-wrenching pain
will be your only friend.
Hey, princess!
Hi, Dad.
What are you doing
home from school?
Tonight she's
taking the challenge!
Ah, they grow up so fast.
Don't be nervous.
You're gonna be great!
A warrior is never nervous.
I will meet the challenge
or I do not deserve to
live to see another day.
Oh, man, again with
all that warrior garbage.
Don't start with me.
Come on, Hippolyta,
she's our little girl.
Now, now, don't worry your
handsome little head over it.
She'll be fine.
Oh, Mother knows best.
Here. I thought you
might like a little snack.
Mmm! Mmm!
Dynamite ribs, hon. Gotta run.
I'm late for a demonstration
of the new catapult.
Hmm, just a bit more garlic.
Where is Her Highness?
What am I, paté, chopped liver?
Oh, it's a food joke, you know?
Ah, never mind.
Her Highness, my king?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll
give her the message.
Please inform her
that this man was found
trying to infiltrate the island.
He claims to be
here to... get this...
Rescue princess Tempest!
It's true!
I saw her at school... Aah.
I'll take responsibility
for the prisoner.
Send him to the kitchen!
OK, Herc, let's make some eats.
No, first, we're gonna take
some of these young grape leaves
fresh out of my secret garden.
Now just drop them into
some lightly salted boiling water.
Bam! That's what
they call blanchin, Herc.
You let 'em blanch until the
get, like, this darkish green color.
You see?
Hey, kid, come on. Chop chop.
These dolmas won't make
themselves, you know.
No offense, sir, but
I'm a hero in training.
This is woman's work.
Hey, let me tell you, pal.
When the queen
and my little Tempest
come in from a hard day
and enjoy a meal
that I've prepared,
Ha! Guess who's the hero?
You're Tempest's father?
Yeah, behind every good
woman, there's a man.
All right, now.
Let's kick it up a few notches.
But I've come to save Tempest.
Where is she? Is she OK?
Hey, good question.
Let me ask you one.
You ever think
about waiting tables?
Keep stirring.
Hey, come and get it!
I hope you guys are hungry.
Don't worry. I'm star... Oh!
What's wrong, Tempest?
I... just realized,
I should be training
for the challenge!
Come on, sweetie.
You need to eat to
keep up your strength.
I'll have Herc... the servant
make me something to go.
What are you doing here?
I've come to rescue you.
Quiet! Or I'll have to
snip your vocal chords.
- But...
- Listen closely.
The only reason
I'd ever need help
is if my mother knew a
man came to rescue me!
Shee! We never covered
this in damsel distress training.
Move it!
The coast is clear. Go.
But at school, you looked
like you were in bigtime trouble.
That's nothing compared to...
Aah.
It's almost time for the
princess to begin the challenge.
Ha! Hate to be in
her sandals tonight.
Um, we really need to talk.
Let's go!
Huh.
I really need a
vacation... Or a boyfriend.
I swear by the Amazonian sun,
setting you free will
be my absolute last
moment of weakness. Now, go!
Wait. Are you saying that
you don't want me here?
Yes!
But you will be
coming back to school?
So I can turn into a spineless
bleeding heart like you?
I'll never go back.
Does that mean that you're
not going to cook anything
for our home grec project?
Right! Got it.
I must not be late.
So, you're bailing out, huh?
- King Darius!
- Hey, if you want to leave,
I can completely understand.
It's just that I thought you were
kickin' around the word "hero."
Ready for the challenge?
I'm at the pinnacle of
my feminine fighting form.
Good, now you must endure
the entire night in the treachrous.
Amazonian wilderness.
By the light of the moon, you
must find your way to girdle rock.
You will face
woman-eating beasts,
skin-melting vegetation,
and spine-snapping traps.
If dawn finds you alive,
you will be truly worthy of
wearing the golden girdle.
Thanks, Mom.
Girdle?
Um, I don't think Tempest is
going to want my help with that.
Hey, say you're
making pilaki, right?
And you want to kick it up
a notch with some bay leaf.
Most chefs say, "Hey,
it doesn't need bay leaf."
But that doesn't mean that the pilaki
maybe couldn't use a little bay leaf.
You know what I'm saying?
I... think so.
Uh, what's pilaki?
Oh, forget the pilaki.
I'm talkin' about Tempest here.
Come dawn's light,
I shall be golden girdled!
- Tempest.
- Mother?
Fail, and you shame us all.
Ahem! Understood.
Questions.
Will Tempest overcome her
challenge and earn the golden girdle?
Will Hercules help
her or go home?
When will the music start?
Oops, that's my cue.
Ohh!
Whoa... oh... oh... oh!
Whoa!
Whoa!
Fear is weakness. I am not weak.
Therefore, I'm not afraid.
Aah!
Huh?
And you said you
didn't need my help.
I don't need your help,
and for the last time,
I don't want your help!
Ha ha! But that doesn't mean
you couldn't use a little help.
It's like, uh,
bay leaf in pilaki.
Waah!
Oh, thanks, Tempest!
You saved me.
Never say any of those words to me
again or I'll string you up by your uvula.
Now, that's your mother talking.
How did a weak
man-child like you
survive black widows peak?
Oh, your dad knew a shortcut.
I hear the wilderness
here is really nasty.
Get out of here!
Now!
Ow!
This is all your fault!
I was only trying to help.
Your help may have
cost me the golden girdle!
Hey! Hey! Hello!
I'm laughing here!
Wanna know why I feel so up?
I'm gonna crush
you both to a pulp!
Oh, I feel good!
Hoo-hoo! The queen mother
didn't tell you about me, did she?
Oh, no. That girdle
don't come easy, baby,
Uh-uh!
Let me handle this.
Now way! I'm the hero!
Let me handle it!
Ooh, chile, get down!
Tempest, do you
realize that even now,
when we're about to be
crushed, We're arguing?
I think I should
handle the situation.
You think you should.
Wrong. I now I
should. I'm the girl.
That's exactly what I'm talking
about! I said girls should do the cooking.
You said guys should.
You said girls are the
warriors. I said guys,
But you know what?
I've learned that whoever wants
to do something should do it.
Can we at least agree on that?
If I let you handle this,
will you just stop talking?
Absolutely!
OK, hero, handle away.
OK. Uh, got any ideas?
Uh, I've got one.
Start screaming!
Hey, ow!
Let's run!
Hurry!
Take my hand.
My face cracked!
Come on!
We made it!
Girdle rock!
I will never underestimate
a woman again.
Bravo, Tempest!
Look, Your Highness, tempest
has captured our escaped prisoner.
Good work, butch.
Finish him off.
And the golden girdle is yours!
I was just trying to help!
I-I was the bay leaf.
Another word from
you, mister man,
and I'll fillet you myself.
But this is not fair, Mother.
Tempest.
I am sorry, Mother.
I shall not don the girdle.
I cannot skewer a man
simply for trying to help.
You are no daughter of mine.
And you are fillet!
Ha ha! Filet? Ah, you're
pickin' up my kitchen lingo.
I'm all misty-eyed here.
Darius, go home. This
is no place for a man.
Hey, now, that's
a nice brochette.
Darius.
Hippolyta, the
prisoner didn't escape.
I sent him here to help Tempest.
How could you?
Hey, I'm takin' and
old heavy recipe,
and I'm lightenin' it up
for the modern palate.
You know what I mean?
Get back in your kitchen.
No, Hippolyta. It's
time for a change...
for a new kind of
Amazon to wear the gold.
Daddy?
One who knows that
compassion is not a weakness.
Cookin', Darius!
Let it be Tempest.
Mmm-mmm!
Delicious!
Hercules, that is
a mighty tasty dish!
Do I detect a hint
of, uh... Bay leaf?
Well, sometimes it's needed,
if you know what I mean?
Let me taste that.
Mmm, now that's pilaki.
Hey, you know, if this
hero stuff falls through,
you've got a future in
the kitchen, my friend.
King Darius, well, that means...
I'm back! And my parents
wanted a tour of my school!
Well, I can see where.
Tempest gets her coquettish
good looks, Your Highness.
Oy!
And her winning personality.
Hey, now, looks like we're
gonna make us some gravy! Bam!
This man is my husband!
Listen and learn...
Or else.
"glad" in gladiator? ♪
♪ Hercules ♪
♪ Whose daring deeds
are great theater? ♪
♪ Hercules ♪
♪ Is he bold? ♪
♪ No one braver ♪
♪ Is he sweet? ♪
♪ Our favorite
flavor, Hercules ♪
- ♪ What a guy ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Ask his friends ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
♪ Honey, they won't lie ♪
- ♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Ahh, Hercules ♪
♪ Hercules ♪
- ♪ Come on ♪
- ♪ No one's fool ♪
♪ Now the boy's in school ♪
♪ He's in trainin' ♪
♪ Sun is shinin' ♪
♪ And the nicest guy ♪
♪ No complainin' ♪
♪ He was a no one ♪
♪ Zero, zero, give
him a quick deed ♪
♪ He's our hero ♪
♪ He's the most
likely to succeed ♪
♪ From zero to hero ♪
♪ Herc is a hero ♪
♪ He'll be a hero ♪
Wait and see!
Ooh! Ooh! Oh! Aah!
Oh!
Unh!
Help me!
Aah!
Whoa, whoa whoa!
Help, somebody!
A big strong hero, for example!
I'll save you! Aah!
Ughh!
Help, I say!
I repeat!
Help!
Uh-oh.
Help!
I'm not kidding!
Ooh, thank you,
you big strong hero.
Not the fastest
rescue on record,
but at least you
finally got to...
Uh, Phil, there's something you should
know about this damsel in distress.
What are you... Ahem!
What are you talking about?
She's uh, not quite a damsel.
Yech! This is the last time
I'm ordering from the
Zero To Hero catalog.
Well, the rescue
still counts, right?
I mean, just because
it's a dude in distress
doesn't make a
difference, does it?
Kid, it only makes
all the difference in the world.
Listen, hero rule number
147, dudes save damsels.
Women are delicate,
frail, and helpless.
That's what they do... delicate
stuff, like cooking and cleaning.
But isn't that stuff hard work?
The point is, if you're
gonna be a real hero,
you gotta rescue
damsels, not some dude.
But what about the
time I saved you?
That is totally different.
Really? Ha! How!
Well, it's... I mean...
Hey, would you look at the time?
You better get to school, hero.
Home greconomics.
Ugh, how I dread this class!
Oh, but muffin cakes,
it prepares us for the day when
we're equal domestic partners.
Plus you get to
eat your mistakes!
Ho!
I was being narrow-minded.
It's my life that I dread.
OK. Simmer down, people.
Let's get cooking!
Ha ha ha!
Uh, ahem!
Okey-dokey, artichokies,
Today we'll be making
stuffed olive surprise,
and home-baked pita bread!
Yummy!
Let's all measure
out two cups of flour.
Uh, flour... cup.
You... do it.
Now add just a
pinch of baking soda.
Ha! Very funny. Look,
you're the girl, so you should...
Make you do the
cooking. It's only natural.
Separate the eggs.
Don't fall behind now.
Tempest, come on.
Food preparation
is your department.
I'm a warrior, not a cook.
Well, I never cooked in my life!
And it's time you start!
- Tempest!
- Hercules!
Hey, guys, can I borrow some...
Flour?
Ha ha ha!
Ho, yeah!
Thank you! Huh?
Honey, see what fun
they're having over here?
Oh, come on. You gotta admit,
that was... that was kinda funny.
Perhaps it was
slightly humorous.
What-what's wrong?
If I got caught smiling,
I'd be hauled away
in an instant.
Wh... Aw, come on.
- Who would...
- Aah!
Hut, hut, hut, hut!
Hyah!
- Hyah!
- Hyah!
Aah!
You have brought shame
to your Amazon sisters.
Hey, what's going on here?
Mind your own business!
All right! Move out!
Come on!
Let go of her!
Huh?
Stuffed olive loaf, huh?
Which way did they go?
If I tell you the docks,
will you go racing
off into a situation
you cannot possibly comprehend?
I gotta save Tempest!
Just checking.
Stroke!
Looks like our boy Herc's
about to learn a lesson
in tough from Tempest
and the Amazons.
And, honey, Miss
Tempest is a purring kitten
compared to her mama!
Mm-hmm.
Hey, thanks for
covering for me, ladies.
My yoga class
went a little long.
No problem, bobby, baby.
Oh, now, where were we?
Settin' sail for the
island of the Amazons.
And a date with Queen Hippolyta.
Atten-hut, ladies!
Do you pathetic,
lilly-livered papa's girls
have the nerve to call
yourselves Amazons?
Yes, Queen Hippolyta!
Had that exercise
been actual combat,
our heads would be
skewered on pikes by now.
And we'd deserve it!
Was that a flinch?
Uh, eh, um...
I didn't catch that.
Queen, yes, queen!
Scorpion pit, now.
With pleasure, Your Highness!
Hut, hut, hut!
Are you still here?
Hut, hut, hut!
Out of my way!
Unh! Unh! Unh! Ugh!
Unh! Mother!
What is the meaning
of this outrage?
Well, well.
If it isn't little miss
hearts and flowers.
Meaning what?
Face it, Tempest,
you've lost your edge.
Gone soft, weak. Dainty.
This report on your
activities disgusts me!
I never should've listened to
your father about that school.
You spied on me?
September 16, a
sophomore cuts in front of you
in the lunch line
and survives to tell the tale.
Yes, but he'll never
walk the same.
November 5, shop class.
A nail goes through your thumb
and you let others
see you wince in pain.
I made no audible gasp.
November 8...
Who are you and
what do you want?
Uh... The name's Hercules.
I've come to rescue Tempest?
Ha! To suggest that
an Amazon warrior
needs help from a man is an
insult that will cost you dearly!
Now, take your
punishment like a woman!
I meant it nicely!
Honest!
After him!
Not a bad effort,
for the weaker sex.
March 19, while
competing in a spelling bee,
you faltered on
the word eviscerate.
Oh! You're right, Mother.
I am weak.
I disgust myself!
Everything is mixed up
at that school, Tempest.
And it's turning you to mush.
I've been so blind!
You belong here,
where you can hone your
womanly skills as a warrior
until you're pure lethal weapon.
Only then will you be
worthy of the golden girdle.
Whoa. Hold the phone.
Did she say girdle?
You heard right, baby.
We're talking 18 hours
of 24-karat support.
Yes, the golden girdle.
Gift from ares and lingerie
of the Amazon queen.
But this shiny undergarment
is not a birthright.
Even a princess
must earn the honor
of becoming one of the
few, the proud, the girdled.
I'll do anything, Mother.
I beg for a chance
to prove myself!
Then tonight, I will put
you to the challenge!
This night will seem
like a punishing, grueling,
brain-numbing eternity.
Gut-wrenching pain
will be your only friend.
Hey, princess!
Hi, Dad.
What are you doing
home from school?
Tonight she's
taking the challenge!
Ah, they grow up so fast.
Don't be nervous.
You're gonna be great!
A warrior is never nervous.
I will meet the challenge
or I do not deserve to
live to see another day.
Oh, man, again with
all that warrior garbage.
Don't start with me.
Come on, Hippolyta,
she's our little girl.
Now, now, don't worry your
handsome little head over it.
She'll be fine.
Oh, Mother knows best.
Here. I thought you
might like a little snack.
Mmm! Mmm!
Dynamite ribs, hon. Gotta run.
I'm late for a demonstration
of the new catapult.
Hmm, just a bit more garlic.
Where is Her Highness?
What am I, paté, chopped liver?
Oh, it's a food joke, you know?
Ah, never mind.
Her Highness, my king?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll
give her the message.
Please inform her
that this man was found
trying to infiltrate the island.
He claims to be
here to... get this...
Rescue princess Tempest!
It's true!
I saw her at school... Aah.
I'll take responsibility
for the prisoner.
Send him to the kitchen!
OK, Herc, let's make some eats.
No, first, we're gonna take
some of these young grape leaves
fresh out of my secret garden.
Now just drop them into
some lightly salted boiling water.
Bam! That's what
they call blanchin, Herc.
You let 'em blanch until the
get, like, this darkish green color.
You see?
Hey, kid, come on. Chop chop.
These dolmas won't make
themselves, you know.
No offense, sir, but
I'm a hero in training.
This is woman's work.
Hey, let me tell you, pal.
When the queen
and my little Tempest
come in from a hard day
and enjoy a meal
that I've prepared,
Ha! Guess who's the hero?
You're Tempest's father?
Yeah, behind every good
woman, there's a man.
All right, now.
Let's kick it up a few notches.
But I've come to save Tempest.
Where is she? Is she OK?
Hey, good question.
Let me ask you one.
You ever think
about waiting tables?
Keep stirring.
Hey, come and get it!
I hope you guys are hungry.
Don't worry. I'm star... Oh!
What's wrong, Tempest?
I... just realized,
I should be training
for the challenge!
Come on, sweetie.
You need to eat to
keep up your strength.
I'll have Herc... the servant
make me something to go.
What are you doing here?
I've come to rescue you.
Quiet! Or I'll have to
snip your vocal chords.
- But...
- Listen closely.
The only reason
I'd ever need help
is if my mother knew a
man came to rescue me!
Shee! We never covered
this in damsel distress training.
Move it!
The coast is clear. Go.
But at school, you looked
like you were in bigtime trouble.
That's nothing compared to...
Aah.
It's almost time for the
princess to begin the challenge.
Ha! Hate to be in
her sandals tonight.
Um, we really need to talk.
Let's go!
Huh.
I really need a
vacation... Or a boyfriend.
I swear by the Amazonian sun,
setting you free will
be my absolute last
moment of weakness. Now, go!
Wait. Are you saying that
you don't want me here?
Yes!
But you will be
coming back to school?
So I can turn into a spineless
bleeding heart like you?
I'll never go back.
Does that mean that you're
not going to cook anything
for our home grec project?
Right! Got it.
I must not be late.
So, you're bailing out, huh?
- King Darius!
- Hey, if you want to leave,
I can completely understand.
It's just that I thought you were
kickin' around the word "hero."
Ready for the challenge?
I'm at the pinnacle of
my feminine fighting form.
Good, now you must endure
the entire night in the treachrous.
Amazonian wilderness.
By the light of the moon, you
must find your way to girdle rock.
You will face
woman-eating beasts,
skin-melting vegetation,
and spine-snapping traps.
If dawn finds you alive,
you will be truly worthy of
wearing the golden girdle.
Thanks, Mom.
Girdle?
Um, I don't think Tempest is
going to want my help with that.
Hey, say you're
making pilaki, right?
And you want to kick it up
a notch with some bay leaf.
Most chefs say, "Hey,
it doesn't need bay leaf."
But that doesn't mean that the pilaki
maybe couldn't use a little bay leaf.
You know what I'm saying?
I... think so.
Uh, what's pilaki?
Oh, forget the pilaki.
I'm talkin' about Tempest here.
Come dawn's light,
I shall be golden girdled!
- Tempest.
- Mother?
Fail, and you shame us all.
Ahem! Understood.
Questions.
Will Tempest overcome her
challenge and earn the golden girdle?
Will Hercules help
her or go home?
When will the music start?
Oops, that's my cue.
Ohh!
Whoa... oh... oh... oh!
Whoa!
Whoa!
Fear is weakness. I am not weak.
Therefore, I'm not afraid.
Aah!
Huh?
And you said you
didn't need my help.
I don't need your help,
and for the last time,
I don't want your help!
Ha ha! But that doesn't mean
you couldn't use a little help.
It's like, uh,
bay leaf in pilaki.
Waah!
Oh, thanks, Tempest!
You saved me.
Never say any of those words to me
again or I'll string you up by your uvula.
Now, that's your mother talking.
How did a weak
man-child like you
survive black widows peak?
Oh, your dad knew a shortcut.
I hear the wilderness
here is really nasty.
Get out of here!
Now!
Ow!
This is all your fault!
I was only trying to help.
Your help may have
cost me the golden girdle!
Hey! Hey! Hello!
I'm laughing here!
Wanna know why I feel so up?
I'm gonna crush
you both to a pulp!
Oh, I feel good!
Hoo-hoo! The queen mother
didn't tell you about me, did she?
Oh, no. That girdle
don't come easy, baby,
Uh-uh!
Let me handle this.
Now way! I'm the hero!
Let me handle it!
Ooh, chile, get down!
Tempest, do you
realize that even now,
when we're about to be
crushed, We're arguing?
I think I should
handle the situation.
You think you should.
Wrong. I now I
should. I'm the girl.
That's exactly what I'm talking
about! I said girls should do the cooking.
You said guys should.
You said girls are the
warriors. I said guys,
But you know what?
I've learned that whoever wants
to do something should do it.
Can we at least agree on that?
If I let you handle this,
will you just stop talking?
Absolutely!
OK, hero, handle away.
OK. Uh, got any ideas?
Uh, I've got one.
Start screaming!
Hey, ow!
Let's run!
Hurry!
Take my hand.
My face cracked!
Come on!
We made it!
Girdle rock!
I will never underestimate
a woman again.
Bravo, Tempest!
Look, Your Highness, tempest
has captured our escaped prisoner.
Good work, butch.
Finish him off.
And the golden girdle is yours!
I was just trying to help!
I-I was the bay leaf.
Another word from
you, mister man,
and I'll fillet you myself.
But this is not fair, Mother.
Tempest.
I am sorry, Mother.
I shall not don the girdle.
I cannot skewer a man
simply for trying to help.
You are no daughter of mine.
And you are fillet!
Ha ha! Filet? Ah, you're
pickin' up my kitchen lingo.
I'm all misty-eyed here.
Darius, go home. This
is no place for a man.
Hey, now, that's
a nice brochette.
Darius.
Hippolyta, the
prisoner didn't escape.
I sent him here to help Tempest.
How could you?
Hey, I'm takin' and
old heavy recipe,
and I'm lightenin' it up
for the modern palate.
You know what I mean?
Get back in your kitchen.
No, Hippolyta. It's
time for a change...
for a new kind of
Amazon to wear the gold.
Daddy?
One who knows that
compassion is not a weakness.
Cookin', Darius!
Let it be Tempest.
Mmm-mmm!
Delicious!
Hercules, that is
a mighty tasty dish!
Do I detect a hint
of, uh... Bay leaf?
Well, sometimes it's needed,
if you know what I mean?
Let me taste that.
Mmm, now that's pilaki.
Hey, you know, if this
hero stuff falls through,
you've got a future in
the kitchen, my friend.
King Darius, well, that means...
I'm back! And my parents
wanted a tour of my school!
Well, I can see where.
Tempest gets her coquettish
good looks, Your Highness.
Oy!
And her winning personality.
Hey, now, looks like we're
gonna make us some gravy! Bam!
This man is my husband!
Listen and learn...
Or else.