Hart of Dixie (2011–2015): Season 4, Episode 2 - The Curling Iron - full transcript

- When Lemon comes back, she'll choose me.
- She's gonna choose me, always.

I take it we're not
getting our department?

- Try again next year.
- You're supposed to be on

that cruise for three weeks.

I spent some time with the ship's doctor,

and we fell in love.

I have never been able to resist you.

So does that mean you're not going to?

Yes, yes. But-but keep this
under wraps for two more days.

I love you, Zoe. I want to give this a try.

This is never gonna work
out. It's just too late.



I'm not pregnant,

I have a virus. I saw your test results.

Henry and I haven't even had sex yet.

We're just pretending
to be a couple because

I need the money for Fancie's.
Well, then whose is it?

Oh, my God, oh, my God,
oh, my God, oh, my God.

Okay. This is happening.

This is definitely happening.

How could you let this happen?

You're a doctor.

You... are a doctor.

You talking to yourself now?

What's up, Lavon?

You okay? I heard about the big
ruckus with the fire department.



I'm fine. It's not me I'm worried about.

Something going on with you.

What? No. No.

I haven't seen you for an entire
day. Not even for baked goods.

So spill it.

Nothing to spill.

Everything is good.

Great, in fact. I am
happy and I am healthy.

And I don't have to face the town knowing

that I blew their chance
at a fire department.

So, clearly, I've won the morning.

You're coming for breakfast.

Now. You and me, we're gonna talk.

No, thanks, I'm not hungry.

You want me to take a look,

see what you hid in the drawer there?

Great.

- I made pancakes.
- Mmm.

Let's go.

And I looked that monk straight in the eye,

and I said, “No. Namaste to you”"

I think this is gonna be

my finest blogger profile to date.

Uh, what Henry has

accomplished is nothing
short of astounding.

Yeah, even I am growing
weary of keeping it a secret.

You and me both. You know
how I hate keeping secrets.

Like, I really, really hate it.

Especially from Brick.

Okay, listen, by the end of the day today,

Grandmother will hand over
the final check for Fancie's,

she will head overseas,
Henry will be on his way,

and we'll be done keeping the secret.

Oh, speaking of which...

did you ever find out whose
pregnancy test that was?

No. I mean,

in the chaos, I-I just totally forgot.

I...

Hey, hey. It's showtime, ladies.

Hi. Hey.

It's too much pressure. I need a cruller.

I need a cruller.

You expecting someone?

No, I'm just enjoying my pancake
and hoping there isn't a fire.

Oh, very funny.

Hey, look, Zoe, I'm here for you.

I mean, I know what's going on.

You do?

Zoe, I'm your best friend. I
recognize these things by now.

You had another fight with Wade.

Oh, Lavon, I wish it were that simple.

But I can honestly say that Wade Kinsella

is not the problem on my mind right now.

Uh, morning, Doc.

Good morning, Wade.

Morning, Lavon.

Heard, uh, you and Tucker had

a “my hose is bigger
than your hose” contest

at fire practice yesterday,
wish I'd been there to see that.

It was not my fault.

So what's going on with you?

Oh. Oh, me? You mean, besides the fact

that I-I told Zoe that
I loved her yesterday

and she basically told me to buzz off?

Unless, of course,

I-I misinterpreted

the “door slamming in my face” bit.

Well, you know, much as I...

hate to leave this conversation, um,

I-I got business to attend to.

Yeah, very im-important mayoral business.

Very pressing.

Sorry. So, have-have a good day.

Zoe, just...

just to be clear: you did hear me

yesterday, when I, uh,
asked you out to dinner,

told you that I loved
you, the whole shebang?

'Cause I know it was loud,

with the crickets chirping and the, uh...

doors slamming.

I heard you.

But I meant what I said.

It's too late for us, and
that's just the way it is.

Wow.

I am genuinely confused.

'Cause, you know, last
I heard, you were gonna

fig"for this relationship, and-and I know

it took me a few weeks

to realize the error of my ways,

but I'm... A few weeks?

A few weeks?!

Try eight!

Eight weeks, Wade!

A lot can happen in eight weeks, okay?

A lot!

Shelby, I-I thought we both agreed

to keep our relationship
quiet till my mother is gone.

And I agree that we agree,

but my astrologer,
Madame Minerva, disagrees.

She thinks you underestimate your mother.

Well, you can tell Madame...

w-whatever that it is precisely because

I do not underestimate my mother

that we are keeping this a secret.

If my mother finds out, she will ruin us.

Or... she'll see how
wonderful I am and love me.

Why wouldn't she?

Everybody loves me.

You love me. That...

I cannot deny.

Oh, Ethel, cover your eyes.

Dr. B, I wanted to ask you
about this pregnancy test...

No! Oh!

I didn't see a thing...

certainly not you kissing Shelby,

whom I'm fairly certain you said
good-bye and good riddance to.

Surprise. Oh, now, A.B., please,

you can't breathe a word about
this until Bettie leaves town.

Not to anybody... even Lemon.

Oh, but, Brick, Lemon's my best friend!

And I hate keeping secrets.

I'm sorry for asking, but
it's just-just one day.

Also, would you mind watching Ethel

for a teeny, tiny bit while

Brick and I sneak away for a quickie?

Tea. Tea.

Uh, just a quick...

afternoon tea.

You're gonna stay here with your Aunt A.B.

Bye!

Guess we won't be getting
our own fire department, huh?

Got to be disappointing.

But, in good news, I think
you made the right decision

calling off the
investigation of Henry Dalton.

The man is a hero.

Oh, we know.

Who has scaled the majestic
heights of Everest and beyond.

We know. Healed the thirsty

and impoverished. We know! We know!

And sends his own mother

two dozen red roses

every single day.

Wait, what?

Who sends their mother red roses?

A saint. I ran into Asey,

the florist, last night

at the small business
owners' meeting.

Ashley says it's the most
anyone's ever spent on flowers.

For his mother?

That's what he told Ashley.

You thinking what I'm thinking?

Well, I hate to say it, but I think I am.

We need to find out the
truth about “Saint Henry”"

And his flowers.

Oh, hi, Dr. Hart.

I'm here for my appointment.

You okay?

Delma. Right. Mole removal.

Uh, A.B., can you just
grab... What is that?!

It's a baby. Thought you were a doctor.

Where did it come from?

Uh, it belongs, uh... to a relative.

Of a friend. A-A friend you don't know.

You can't just have a baby
in-in a workplace, AnnaBeth,

because they-they are needy

and they are noisy and they are

so much work, okay?

Y-You can't just drop a
bomb on someone like this.

Because a baby changes everything!

Everything!

Delma, you want that mole removed or not?

So many secrets.

So many, many secrets.

So I gave Delma the
Band-Aids and the Neosporin

and I sent her on her way.

Thank you.

So, now that we're alone,

we should talk, because I'm pretty sure

I know what's going on with you.

I saw this test mixed
into Lemon's folder, and...

I don't know...

What you're talking about.

Nope. I do not.

Zoe, this is a big thing to handle,

and judging by your outburst
earlier, I'm pretty sure

you're not handling it very well.

You should tell...

Delma... whether or not
she should change that bandage.

Hello, Rose. Good afternoon,

my esteemed health care professionals.

What are you doing here?

Zoe agreed to give the health seminar

for my tween youth troop.

Well, can you give us a
minute? Because Zoe and I

are in the middle of an
important conversation...

No, I'm ready to go!

Well, a pleasure spending time with you,

as always, Mrs. Breeland.

Oh, Henry, call me Grandma.

Well, we should be going.

So much to do before
your big bon voyage party.

We're all just so excited for you to leave.

On your wonderful vacation.

So far away.

For five whole months.

But we will miss you.

Oh.

They do look good together.

Why, Crickett Watts.

I heard about your big... reveal.

And I have to say,

you've got a lot of fortitude.

Why, thank you, Mrs. Breeland.

I just feel lucky to start a
whole new chapter in my life.

Just like Lemon.

Landing the perfect man on that boat,

just like you hoped she would.

And just when she needed
the money for Fancie's.

Life's full of surprises, huh?

Yes.

Yes, it is.

All right, now, let me do the talking.

No, no, no. I'll do the talking.

Why do you get to do the talking?

Because I'm a lawyer... makes
me a professional talker.

Knock yourself out.

Well, well, well, look who it is.

Hi... Daisy. Wow.

Uh, when did you start
working here at the florist?

Since right after our last date,

which you would know if
you'd ever asked me out again.

Oh, that's cold.

Yeah. I, uh... you know,

I am so sorry about that, Daisy.

I was going through a very difficult time.

However,

we are here looking for

some information on a Mr. Henry Dalton?

I'm not giving you any details

on Henry Dalton's flower delivery.

May I just say how absolutely
stunning you look today.

Save it. But I just...

But, Daisy, I... Will you please...

Could you please stop...
If you could just stop

ringing that bell, Daisy...

Ah, if I may.

Oh, I would hate for you to betray

the-the sanctity of your client bond.

I mean, you do important work here, Daisy.

You do the work of love, huh?

A-And there is no higher calling,

particularly in BlueBell.

But-but this...

this information that we need
is for official town business.

Mayor Hayes, it is an honor to
have you standing in this shop.

When you made that sack
against Florida State

during the national
championship, I was there.

You even saw my chest
at the victory bonfire.

Oh, you don't say!

For you, Mayor Hayes,

I can make an exception.

You are a hero.

Thank you kindly.

Boom.

Yeah, it was nice to s...

Yep.

Dr. Hart, your shoes look amazing.

Are you still in love with Wade?
Do you ever look in his window?

Have you heard from Joel?

What about George? Is there still a chance?

How does your hair always look so perfect?

You have to tell me where
you got your clothes.

All right, everyone, take your seats.

We're about to get started.

Okay, what topic am I covering exactly?

Uh, nutrition, hygiene,
impeccable fashion choices?

'Cause if I can walk this room
away from pastels in the fall,

then my work here is done.

Actually, uh, the girls were tired of

the same old “abstinence"
only speech from Dr. Breeland,

so I brought you here today to
give them the straight scoop...

on sex.

Sex?

Let me guess.

Zoe Hart?

Your powers of deduction...

they never cease to amaze me, Lemon.

What did you do now?

Me?

I didn't do anything.

Except show up at her door
and ask her to dinner...

tell her I loved her.

Oh, my.

Oh, your what?

I have a lot on my plate
right now, Wade Kinsella,

but because you are my friend,
I'm gonna walk you through this.

A couple of months ago,

Zoe Hart told you that
she loved you, correct?

Correct.

And then you slept with her,

and then the next morning you told her

that you would never
trust her again, correct?

I don't recall telling you that.

You can't just show up after all
that and ask someone to dinner.

Well, it wasn't just dinner,
it was, uh, you... uh...

Uh, a symbol?

Yes. Yes.

But right now, she needs
more than a symbol, okay?

She needs you to apologize.

And then when you're done apologizing,

she needs you to grovel.

And then grovel some more.

And then, and only then,
you come up with a plan,

a plan of how this time
you will make it work.

You're right.

Of course I'm right.

And get a haircut.

You look like a hermit.

Fertilization of the ovum with the sperm

occurs at the Ampullary-Isthmic junction.

Then the zygote

is then implanted into the uterus,

and that is conception.

Thank you for your time.

Okay.

Let's give a hand

for Dr. Hart and her

very thorough overview of
the human reproductive system.

We will now

open the room up to any questions.

Oh, I'm sure no one has any quest...

Is 14 too young to have sex?

My father says you have to be
married first. Is that true?

Is it true you can get pregnant

- from a hot tub?
- What does 59 stand for?

- Dr. Hart, is 14 too young?
- Yes!

So when is it okay?

Personally... I think that you should wait

until you are well over
the age of, let's say, 35.

Come on, there's no way

you waited that long.

Well, I am not a great
example, I promise you.

And you must have had
sex with George Tucker.

And that sexy Wade.

And Joel.

And probably lots of others.

- This is none of your business...
- Come on.

We'll be totally fine
if we use condoms, right?

- Of course we will.
- My sister said.

No!

No! No! No!

Okay?

Condoms... do not always work.

Condoms... they
fail, especially when

you forget to check the
expiration date, which you must!

Because, believe me, an
unplanned pregnancy is

too much for anyone

to deal with, let alone a teenager!

But if you must engage,
it's better to be safe.

Does anybody have a banana?

- Hello. Beautiful day, isn't it?
- Good afternoon.

Is Priscilla Langford in?

Do you have an appointment?

No, ma'am, we don't have an appointment.

But we are here on official town business.

Yeah. Well, maybe you recognize me.

Mayor Hayes.

Mayor Lavon Hayes.

Of BlueBell?

Don't follow politics.

Well, uh,

perhaps you remember a-a certain sack

against Florida State in the champ...

Two Super Bowls?

I prefer baseball.

Oh, who doesn't, really?

Miss...

you and I, we may not have

big fancy jobs like Mayor Hayes here,

but I have a feeling that we both

take huge pride in our work.

Is that correct?

Well, then no, we do not

have an appointment, and yes,

you are well within your
rights to send us packing,

but I am asking you not to do that today.

Because we are here for
a very important reason

that we can only discuss with your boss.

Lives...

and hearts are at stake here.

Right this way.

Boom.

Mrs. Langford isn't
home, but Mr. Langford is.

Oh.

Hey, guys. What can I do for you?

Uh...

So 35, huh?

Was that as bad as I think it was?

Uh, I won't lie... it
was a little out there.

But the banana bits
were very instructional.

I am so sorry, Rose.

I just... I'm not myself today.

What's going on?

I got something unexpected.

In the mail.

What?

A curling iron.

A curling iron?

Yeah, I didn't even order a curling iron.

I wasn't expecting one at all,

but then one just shows up in
the mail out of the blue, bam!

And you don't like curling irons?

I love curling irons.

I always figured that one
day, when my life was settled,

I would have curly hair.

Just not now.

Well, can't you just
return the curling iron?

Oh, yes, I could return the curling iron.

It would be a totally
valid choice, you know.

And I support all people

who decide to return their curling irons.

But I just...

I-I kind of want to keep this one,

because it's the right manufacturer,

and I-I love the manufacturer.

And a curling iron like this

might be hard to come by, later.

You know, I-I don't want to regret...

Besides, you know, I have
room for it in my bathroom.

I see.

So you're gonna keep the curling iron?

Yes.

But I-I feel... I feel a
little overwhelmed, you know,

by-by the idea of having curly hair

for the next 18 years,
and the rest of my life.

That's all.

Hey, I've got an idea.

How about we

get out of here and go see

that new Jonah Hill movie.

Get your mind off curling
irons for a little bit.

Will they have popcorn?

Absolutely.

Zoe, are you okay?

Please call. I mean, I don't
mean to pry or anything.

I just want to make sure
that you're doing okay...

Don't mean to pry into what?

Into...

the secret behind what makes
this cheese so delicious.

I think I'll eat more
and not talk to anyone

because I'll be eating.

Hmm.

Sweetheart, my mother leaves in six hours.

Yeah. So you hang tight at the B&B,

and I will let you know the second...

Uh, Cole, yes.

Uh... Cole,

you just change that,
uh, bandage in the morning

and you come see me in the office.

Yes. Yes.

Okay.

Everything all right, son?

Oh, yes. Um...

Except Cole Maliska has a,
uh, gangrenous infection.

Uh, but other than that...

Yeah, I'm going to the bar.

I have gossip.

No! No more secrets!

What is wrong with you?

Oh, I'm sorry, Crickett.

I'm-I'm just a little
bit more stressed today.

Well, regain your composure.

Uh-huh, uh-huh.

AnnaBeth, are you dying?

No! I'm fine.

Mrs. Breeland, I'm sorry,

you just... surprised me.

Well, I was just watching
you from across the room,

and you seem a little jumpy.

Seems like someone who
has a lot on her mind.

Someone who would like to unburden.

Who, me? No.

No!

I'm fine. So I had the barkeep

whip you up a little something special.

Now, that's a cocktail of my own invention.

It's called The Truth Whisperer.

Mmm.

Uh, that's stiff.

So let's step
away from the buffet.

Shall we have a little chat?

Uh,

does AnnaBeth look like she's
about to spill her guts to you?

Yes. Yes, she does.

Oh, fudge sticks up a fudge tree!

What are you keeping from me?

No, what are you keeping from me?

A-And please, in the name
of everything that's holy,

don't let it be another fake boyfriend.

Isn't that just wonderful?

The mayor of BlueBell and his lawyer

going door-to-door for
the local senior center.

Yeah, well, we-we like to do our part.

Oh.

Certainly do.

We love old people.

Well, if you'll excuse me, I
have some work to attend to...

W-Well, uh, actually,

uh, another question if you don't mind,

Mr. Langford. Um...

Do you happen to know, uh, Henry Dalton?

Of course.

Henry has been my best friend

ever since grade school.

He is a wonderful man.

Yeah.

Yes, he is,

just a wonderful man.

The man is an American... nay...

an international hero.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So why you asking about Henry?

Do you know him?

Aren't you lucky?

Well, the girl that he is dating

is a... she's a very good friend of ours.

Oh.

Well, she's very fortunate to
have found a man like Henry.

The man is quite a catch.

In fact, my wife says he is

a perfect combination
of the Pope, LeBron James

and Ryan Gosling.

Wow.

They must be close.

So close that he sends
her two dozen roses a day?

Excuse me?

What are you implying?

It was funny.

I'm just not so sure I
needed to see so many shots

of Jonah Hill's personal place.

I-I agree.

So are you gonna tell him?

Huh? Tell who what?

Wade. That you're having his baby.

I don't know.

I mean, I know I have to.

These things do become
pretty obvious eventually.

I think that...

I need to figure out how
I want to handle this first

and what I even want from him.

Come up with a plan.

Plans are good.

I mean, because, let's face it,

the man took eight weeks
to even warm up to the idea

of having dinner.

Think about how he's gonna react

when I tell him his life is
gonna be turned upside down.

Well, Wade's a good guy.

I mean, he might surprise you.

Maybe sooner than later.

Can we, uh... can we talk?

Look, Zoe, I just...

I just wanted to say I'm sorry.

When I said I didn't trust
you, I didn't mean it.

I was just... scared and
pushing you away, you know?

Well, it felt pretty real.

Yeah, well, okay, maybe I'm not

100% sure that you wouldn't have hurt me

if we restarted things, but...

I know that I have
never felt about anyone

the way I feel about you.

And...

I guess that...

I realized it's worth the risk.

Things between us have
been like a roller-coaster.

Yeah, yeah.

Like one of the...
upside-down twisty-turny ones.

And I guess it wasn't
fair of me to get upset

when you hesitated to get right back on.

So if I were to ask you to dinner again,

would you slam the door in my face?

Try me.

Zoe Hart, Mm-hmm.

Would you like to go to
dinner with me tonight?

Yes.

Yes! All right, well, we better get going

'cause, uh, got a reservation
in, like, ten minutes.

What? You made a reservation?

Well, Wanda did. But come on. Let's go.

- We're gonna be late.
- Oh, yeah, that's what I thought.

Yeah, whatever.

Thanks.

A mint julep, please.
Oh, make that a double.

Extra mint.

Stanley.

Uh, I was hoping I could come by,

pick up my doll collection later.

You'll have to bring your snorkel gear.

Your dolls are all at
the bottom of Mobile Bay.

What? No!

You wouldn't.

Not Mrs. De Havilland.

Not Rhett.

All of them.

Shelby? That cabaret
singing vexation again?

Another fake boyfriend?

Another perfectly decent
candidate that was all a ruse!

I consider my ability
to smell weakness a gift.

And you smell of weakness.

And a hint of marmalade.

I make jam sometimes.

Look, Lemon, I-I understand
that things are easier

when Shelby is not around,

but-but it is also emptier
and-and a lot less fun.

Oh, Daddy.

Lemon, I know... I know you don't approve,

but, doggone it, Lemon,

I-I just love her.

Everybody in my family's

acting very odd.

Bertram, Lemon.

Oh, someone's keeping something from me.

I know it. And you're not

getting up from here until
you tell me what it is.

Oh...

I'm waiting.

You know what, I'm good

at running a restaurant,
Daddy... excellent, in fact.

After all of these years of drifting,

I have finally found my calling,

and I'm not about to let that evil mother

of yours make me compromise

and settle for some man to just save it.

Tell me what you know, AnnaBeth Nass.

Right this instant!

I'm gonna blow! And if I
tell one secret, so help me,

I will tell them all!

Oh, go ahead!

Purge yourself!

No, no!

AnnaBeth, wait!

Wait! I am so sorry

to put you in this position.

I-I will tell my mother the truth.

Hallelujah.

Mother,

A.B. was-was keeping my secret,

which is...

I have been dating Shelby.

Not the cabaret singer.

Daddy, how could you?

Are you out of your ever-loving mind?

Did you actually come to my house

to accuse my wife of
cheating with my best friend?!

We would never suggest that.

Unless you think it might be true.

I'll have you know that Priscilla's

been in Utah with her mother
for the past two months.

Now, you're gonna be lucky
if I don't get my own lawyer

and sue you for libel

and defamation of character.

Oh, no, no, no. Pl-Please
don't do that. We were wrong.

So, so, so, so wrong.

Good. Now see yourselves out.

Yes, sir. Yeah.

Thank you.

Uh, excuse me, miss.

Uh, can we talk to you for just a second?

Zoe Hart, to opposites.

To opposites.

Mm. Mm.

You okay?

Yeah, it just
went down the wrong pipe.

Um... look.

Wade, there's...

something that I need to tell you.

Me, too. You-you mind if I go first?

Oh. Y-Yeah. No, yeah.

Please, go right ahead.

All right. Uh...

Look, I-I just wanted to say that...

I know we are gonna work this time.

And I know that because

I have crafted a plan.

And it's a... it's a good one.

A plan? Well, plans are good.

Yeah.

Yeah, look, basically...

last time we tried to do this, we just...

we started things off backwards,

you know, with the... with the sex.

And I'm-I'm not knocking the sex.

The sex was...

was real good. Yes, it was.

But-but this time,

we should do things the way
they're supposed to be done.

You know, I want to take you out on dates,

to dinner, to the movies...

even the crappy ones with the subtitles

that you seem to like.

And after the movie, I
want to take you home,

I want to kiss you good night

and wonder if I should call you again.

Th...

That was a joke.

The point is that...

I think it's just... it's gonna work

'cause we're gonna take things slow.

Slow?

Yeah. I mean, what's the rush, right?

We got all the time in the world.

With slow, y-you can build
a solid foundation and...

Wade, I'm sorry, but we
just... we cannot take it slow.

Okay? Slow is...

It's never gonna happen.

I just can't, okay?

Hey, A.B., you seen Lemon?

Oh, she is in there with Bettie and Brick.

Another Breeland scandal.

But I didn't say anything.

To anyone. So I'm celebrating!

You okay?

Yeah. If you see her, just...
just tell her her advice sucks.

See, here's the thing, all right?

I understand women.

Believe me, I understand women.

Like, really,

really... I get the picture.

When it comes to the ways
of Zoe Hart, it's like...

it's like my mind becomes scrambled eggs.

I took her out to dinner tonight, right?

And I'm laying out a plan, how
we're gonna make things work

this time... we're gonna
take it nice and slow...

Seriously?

What?

You told Zoe you're
gonna take it slow? Slow?

Wade, you are so dumb!

What is wrong with the
females in this town?

What hurts the most is that
you would hide this from me,

your own mother.

And me,

your own daughter.

Lemon? Lemon?

Um, we have to go

right this instant.

A.B., can't you see that we are
in the middle of a crisis here?

Oh, uh, yes, so A.B. and I have

some very pressing business to attend to.

We will be back in a jiff.

Bye.

Well, there's only one
thing left for me to do.

- Get to the airport early?
- No.

I'm gonna meet this Shelby,
and I'm gonna do it tonight.

I knew we were right!

I knew we were right about Henry!

Mm, saint, my ass.

Uh, wait till we tell Lemon
he's been having an affair

with the Langford maid for over a year.

And promising to marry her as
soon as he gets his trust fund

from his own grandmother
for being with Lemon.

Poor Lemon.

Poor Lemon.

How are we gonna tell her?

We can't just drop a bomb like this. No.

People always hate the messenger.

We could take the coward's way out.

We could just leak it to the blogger.

What? No, no. Lavon Hayes is not a coward.

Well, neither is George Tucker.

That is a good idea, though.

Yeah.

Done. Message sent.

That was right, right?

We had no choice. Right.

Now... now we just let the
chips fall where they may.

Oh! Oh!

Hey. Hey, Wade.

I need to get drunk right now

if y'all want to come with me.

I really need to be around some people

of the male variety about this time.

Let's do it.

Yeah, hop on in.

Zoe? Honey?

Where is she?

Follow the cookie crumbs.

Zoe, are you okay?

Do I look okay?

No.

I'm not okay.

No. Only thing I want right
now is a good hard drink,

and it's the last thing
I can have at the moment.

Oh, perfect. You're here.

I take it she told you.

I have a secret problem.

Plus, I figured, at a time like
this, a girl needs her friends.

Or anything that resembles one.

Oh, it's fine.

This moment couldn't be any worse anyway.

Go ahead, say what you came to say.

When was the last time you cleaned in here?

Right. So...

We're here because we heard

what Wade said.

And obviously, it was moronic, but I'm sure

that he didn't mean to...

Lemon, please. Please don't defend him.

Okay? Wade and I...

the only thing we can count on is...

for our timing to always be off.

You know, the minute I get on
one page, he's on the other.

So, I realize that if I'm going

to do this, I have to do it on my own.

And I'm gonna do this.

That's why I'm in a bathtub eating cookies.

Oh.

It would be overwhelming to anyone.

I am so scared.

I'm so scared.

You know, what... what if my kid hates me?

What if I raise a serial killer?

I'm probably going to be a terrible mother.

Look at my role model.

Well, you know what?

Your mom was Mary Poppins compared to mine,

and I turned out just perfectly, so...

Listen, Zoe, having a baby is a big deal.

All right, it's not so kind on your figure,

especially with people with your skin tone.

Hilarious.

Regardless of all of that,
I know that you will be

a good mother, Zoe Hart.

A really good mother.

Because you are tough, and you are kind,

and you are smart.

And if you tell anyone that I said that,

I will deny it.

Oh. Zoe, she's right.

I mean, look how you are
with Rose and your patients.

You can do this.

Now give us the cookies.

Nuh-uh-uh.

No.

All right.

I'm pregnant.

Daddy, are you okay?

Delilah said that Grandma
Bettie summoned Shelby here.

Oh, yes. Yes, she did.

Well...

Where is she?

Okay, uh, obviously,
I'm no fan of Shelby's,

but, Daddy, you cannot
leave her alone in there

with Grandma Bettie, because she's probably

eaten Shelby alive by now.

Oh. Oh, you would be surprised.

Holy tarnations!

Yeah. Shelby and my mother love each other.

What?

I cannot believe I'm back here again.

I should've stayed away.

I vowed to stay away.

Why didn't I stay away?

I'm crazier than she is.

I have learned my lesson this time.

I am done.

Done!

Yeah, we've heard that one before.

A few times, actually.

Why don't you shut your
yaps, give me another beer.

Ah...

We're all out.

Well, I guess that only
leaves one thing left to do.

Mayor Hayes, I am going to
raid your liquor cabinet.

Knock yourself out.

Bring back some food.

Yeah.

Pretzels.

Bertram?

Oh, why didn't you tell me

eons ago that Shelby was so divine?

Oh, I'm sure I did.

I knew we'd be besties.

We're like two blonde peas in a pod.

Oh.

Now that my son and my
granddaughter have found love,

I can go forth onto the continent

with my head held high.

Yay!

And here's your check.

Good luck with Fancie's!

Thank you, Grandma.

Oh! Well, now,

don't want to be late for your flight.

Bye-bye!

Oh, thank goodness, you're all okay.

Well, what's going on, Bill?

Well, the story has broken on the blog.

Henry Dalton is a fraud.

No.

Oh, yes.

Turns out he has another
girlfriend over in Mobile.

What?

No, no, uh, uh... that's...

Henry, I...

How could you?

After everything?

Looks like I'm gonna have to take you in

for questioning, Mr. Dalton.

Oh, oh, surely,
you can't be serious.

Oh, I'm serious as a heart attack.

Or a Ponzi scheme.

I've seen The Music
Man, mm-hmm, my friend.

Oh, that's one of my favorites.

All right.

Come on, now.

No, wait, wait, stop.

Henry Dalton is no fraud.

No more than I am.

What are you saying, Lemon?

I'm saying that we...

We were in this together from the start.

I needed the money for Fancie's,

and there was no other way to get it.

And, uh, I needed my family to

think I'd moved on from the
girl they found unacceptable,

so we struck a deal.

A deal?

I'm so sorry, Grandma.

Hmm.

Huh.

Watch out.

No. Watch out, I'm gonna get you.

No.

Don't let me get
you... gotcha!

Hey, you know, um,

today was kind of fun.

Yeah.

Yeah, I agree.

Too bad you love Lemon.

No, it's too bad you love Lemon.

Ain't that the truth?

Boom.

Zoe...

Wade...

I'm sorry that I walked out of dinner,

but you should know the reason why.

I'm having your baby.

It's okay. Really.

Because I'm gonna do this on my own,

and I don't expect anything from you.

This time I got
it, I got it, I got it!

Yah! Oh!

Hey, man. You get the booze?

Uh...

Well, I...

just got some interesting news.

A baby?!

Holy mother of God!