Hart of Dixie (2011–2015): Season 4, Episode 1 - Kablang - full transcript

Fancie's has burned and flooded.

$100,000?

No problem.

What's the catch?
That you get on

that cruise tomorrow
and you don't get off

until you've met the man

with whom you're gonna share
the rest of your life.

Lemon's going on a Belles and
Bachelors cruise for a month.

Claims she's coming back
engaged.

Lemon! Lemon!

George?



No.

No, no, no, no, no!

It's time you knew the truth.
I am gay!

You had the guts

to drive across the state
to tell me,

so today I'm telling you:

I love you.

We tried to make this work

and it just didn't.

I know that you believe
that we don't

have a future together.

I'm not giving up.

Wade! Hello.

Beautiful day, is it not?



Yeah.

Yeah, it's okay.

You, uh... seen Lavon?

Oh, I told him to go
to the Butter Stick,

because we needed
some alone time.

Zoe...

For breakfast.

It's the most important meal
of the day and all.

And...

I made it myself.

You cooked?

Yeah.

I made grits and eggs.

Grits, huh?

Think I'm a little bit afraid.

I can make grits.
I'm a trained surgeon.

Well, thanks
for making breakfast.

The eggs are, uh, edible,
actually.

Well, I am really glad
that you like them.

So,

later I heard

that they are screening RoboCop

at the library

and I've never seen it.
Robots,

cops... robot cops?

I mean, that sounds
pretty great.

Thought we could check it out.

Seriously?

That-That's your move?

RoboCop at the library?

Yes. I told you that
I was going to prove to you

that I was serious
and that we belong together.

And I am.

With RoboCop?

Yes. With RoboCop.

Well, tempting
as that sounds, Doc,

I think I'm gonna have to pass.

And, uh, no offense,

trained surgeon, but...

the grits, uh,
they're just, um... not.

Yes, they are.

By all means.

Nice try, Doc.

Good morning!

Honey, I have to go to work.

Are you gonna be okay?

Absolutely.

I love this couch.

You know, sweetie,

you can't hide here forever.

How can I ever face the town,

my mother, the Belles again?

Because you are the
bravest person I know.

Your coming out was the
most courageous thing

any of us have ever done.

Although, you know,

the timing could've
been a little better.

Poor Stanley.
Poor Stanley.

Together, you and I

will turn over new leaves,

start fresh and
conquer the world!

So come on!

Let's conquer!

Okay?

Um, can we conquer tomorrow?

I have two more

seasons of The L Word to watch.

It has been quite educational.

Tomorrow.

Wade.

Wade, I really have
to talk to you, man.

Again?

You're the only one

who knows what happened, okay?

I have to vent to you...

...because otherwise,
I might implode.

Look, the thing is,
I just can't get over...

...my profound disappointment
in him.

George hasn't shown
anything for Lemon

but disdain in years.

It's outrageous!

Their affair ended ages ago!

I thought
he loved A.B.

He and Lemon had their chance.

Fifteen...

...years. All right?

You don't just give up on that.

She is the...

...one.

The one.

It's Lemon.

It's always been...

Lemon.
Look, G.T.

Lavon's your friend.

George is your friend.

Could you please just...

talk to each other?

No!
No! He's gonna want me

to back down for him.
I'm not gonna back down for him.

Hmm-mm.

Wade, urgent business over here.

Meatball.

Meatball, thank you.

No, thank you.

For letting me
crash at your pad?

Please?

Lily Anne kind of
broke my house.

Yeah, well, I've been there.

Ha!

Thanks!
Okay...

All right.

Grits...

and RoboCop?

Yeah, I don't think anyone

ever realized they
loved someone over grits.

Oh!

Even my unborn child
is disappointed.

Well, what am I supposed to do?

Make a big romantic gesture.

Like in the movies.

Drive up to Wade's house
in a white limo,

climb the fire escape,

and declare your love!

Jump out of a plane!

Run alongside his train
shouting his name

while he ships off
to fight the Kaiser.

Those might
be a little hard

to pull off in BlueBell.

You got any other ideas?

In the wake of
BlueBell's first ever

fire at Fancie's,

it's clear that
we shouldn't have to wait

for those fatsoes over in Daphne

to come to our rescue anymore.

So I have gathered you,

the smartest, bravest,

most in-shape members
of our community,

to come together

to form BlueBell's first
volunteer fire department.

Just point me in the
direction of the fire.

Can't see with my cataracts.

Uh, actually,
that was a mistake.

It... it's an old phone sheet.

So I...
Oh. This is ridiculous.

I...

This is Jaysene Charles.

She is an honest to
goodness firefighter,

and she is here to train us up.

We got eight weeks

to get your sorry asses in shape

and prove to the county

fire supervisor that BlueBell

has what it takes
to receive permanent funding.

You think you can do it?!

Yeah, uh,

will there be a written test?

Will we have to
carry heavy stuff?

How much does volunteering pay?

I don't want
to slide down any poles.

I got concerns about chafing.

You can do it.

Say it with me.

We can do it!

We can do it.

- Again!
- We can do it.

You know, she's scary,
but kind of hot.

Dibs.

Shoot. I was
gonna call that.

Now I'm gonna pair you up.

Your partner is your lifeline.

Okay, you with you:
big guy, little guy.

You two.

No.
Uh-uh.

Uh, we're...
No, that is a bad idea.

Is there a problem?

Oh, uh...
no problem.

They are best friends.

These two are rock solid.

Trust me.

This brigade is on fire!

No, no.

The opposite of that.
I...

I resent being dragged into
your heterosexual tomfoolery.

But singing is cleansing!

And you needed to get
out of the house.

You know what?
Crickett is right.

This is silly.

Hey. Does Wade like
Johnny Cash or not?

I'm not positive.

I think so.
It seems like he would.

Zoe Hart,

this is your epic John Cusack

with the boom box
over your head moment.

Everybody loves that moment.

Yeah. Okay.

You're right.

All right, ladies,
let's do this.

♪ I keep a close watch
on this heart of mine ♪

♪ I keep my eyes wide open
all the time ♪

♪ I keep the end out ♪

♪ For the tie that binds ♪

♪ Because you're mine ♪

♪ I walk the line ♪

♪ As sure as night is dark
and day is light ♪

♪ I keep you ♪

♪ On my mind
both day and night ♪

♪ And happiness I know ♪

♪ Proves that it's right ♪

♪ Because you're mine ♪

♪ I walk the line... ♪

Oh-ho, yeah!

Always knew you had

a thing for me, Dr. Hart.

This is not how it went down
for John Cusack.

Dr. Hart.
Hello.

You know, I just heard a
fascinating tale about you.

Yes, I serenaded Meatball.

Well, you know,
he asked me for my blessing

before he pursued things
further.

He is thoughtful like that.

Uh-huh.
And what did you say?

I told him I hoped you two

would be happy together.

Or, as your people say,
“mazel tov”.

Well, out of curiosity,
if you were home last night,

would the song have
actually worked?

I thought so.

But I'm gonna figure something
out, Wade Kinsella. You'll see.

Because no man is immune
to all of this.

Trust me, Doc,

I have been thoroughly
inoculated.

Dr. Hart is tardy again.

Now, I do realize
she was up late

pledging her love

to Meatball through song,

but I do expect a modicum

of professionalism.

Bertram!

Hey... your mother is leaving
for Europe in two days.

You can handle this.

Yoga breaths, yoga breaths.

Mother!

Well, I didn't see you there.

How are you?

Wonderful.

Now that Lemon
is off on her cruise,

surrounded by nothing
but open ocean

and eligible bachelors,

I can finally focus on
your sinkhole of a social life.

Oh, good news.
Well...

It's time for you to get
back on the horse, Bertram.

And I have just
the woman for you.

Thelma O'Donnell.

Yes, she does have
that awful underbite,

but I'm willing to overlook that

for my son's future.

Thelma O'Donnell?
God, no.

Oh, well...

I'll just have to find
somebody else for you, then.

Even if I have to postpone
my trip a few weeks.

I'll do it.

Oh, you mean Thelma O'Donnell.

Oh, well, of course.

I would... I would love
to have a meal with Thelma.

Oh...

Good.

Now, in a real call,

you need to be in gear
and on the truck

in two and a half minutes.

Lollygagging kills!

Oh. Oh, no!

And coming up

in five...

What?!

...four...

three...
First!

First!
I finished first!

I'm not that competitive
a person,

but I would like it noted

that I did, in fact,
finish first.

...two, one.

Step forward.

Yeah.

Shoes are on the wrong feet.

- What?
- Oh, ho!

And you,

you forgot to
fasten your helmet.

It won't be so funny when
a building falls on your head.

People?

I am very disappointed.

You two, set up the hose!

You try spinning it
counterclockwise?

You try shutting your yap?

Hey!

Just the two guys
I was looking for.

Lavon, George,
I need you to help me

figure out the perfect
gesture to get Wade back.

I've already serenaded him.

But he wasn't home, so...

“Serenaded”?

Like, you sang him a song?

What are you laughing at?

All the girls agreed
that it was romantic.

It might have worked.

'Cause Wade is secretly
Kate Hudson?

Okay, fine.
Well, then, what do men like?

Sex.

“Sex”?

That is so obvious.

I'm looking for something big.

You know, something romantic.

No. Sex is better.
Yeah.

It may not get the man
down the aisle.

But I guarantee
it'll get his attention.

Okay.

Hmm.

What's up, Earl?

You looking for money
or free gin?

Look here, Mr. Smarty Pants.

It just so happens...

I'm almost five and
a half weeks sober.

Got my first date
with Mae tonight.

Well, good for you, Dad.

I'm here because I heard

that the pretty doctor
says she loves you.

Look...

me and Zoe,

we're like a stick of dynamite.

All right?
With one of them long fuses.

Everything's fine,
no trouble here.

All the while...

And then-- kablang!

Hey, Wade.

What are you doing here?

What am I doing here?
It's my house.

What are you doing here?

Just swimming.

The water's great.

Yeah, I can see you're swimming.

You know, it's funny, though,
'cause normally

you're so worried about getting
your hair messed up

and the snakes

and the leeches
and the mucky bottom.

Less worried today.

Oh!

Kablang!

Mother, what are you doing up?

Oh, I couldn't sleep if I tried.

I'm having a strange,
foreboding feeling.

Yeah.

It is a weird night like that.

Must be that full moon.

How was your date with Thelma?

Well...

I have to be honest
with you, Mother.

That-that woman
gives me the creeps.

But-but...

you are absolutely right.

I do need to get on that horse.

Well, I suppose looking
at that underbite forever

would be a challenge.

But just promise me you'll be

more sensible this time?

Oh! Absolutely.

I promise.

One moment.

Shelby... what? Huh?

Guess who rented
a weekend house in town.

Moi.

And if you think
it's 'cause I realized

I'm in love with you
and want you back,

you're right.

Bertram! Everything all right?

Your real name is Bertram?

Shelby, I beg you-- come
back tomorrow. Tomorrow!

Okay.

No problem.
Yeah.

Kisses, my love.

Bye... you...

It's just a Girl Scout!

Eh, Mother, you should pack.

Let me help you.

Hello there.

What's going on here?

I am here, Wade...

...to seduce you.

Uh, you know,

most people don't
announce it first.

I just wanted to make sure
you were aware

of what was happening.

Because this, my friend,
is happening.

This is going
to be hard to resist.

Yeah, well, that's the plan.

Uh, Zoe?

This isn't going to work
the way you think.

Mm-hmm.
Sex doesn't lead

to anything else.

Hmm.

Well...

we'll just have
to see about that.

Just like riding a bicycle, huh?

That was nothing
like riding a bicycle.

No! What I meant was

it was so easy to fall back into it.
Oh.

Because it felt so right.

So connected.

So...

So... stop talking.

Let's do some more connecting.

Wait, I'm hungry.

Maybe we can get
some food first.

We can do that later.

Seriously, I'm starving!

Oh, my God!

Are you serious right now?
Mm-hmm.

All right, we'll go over to
Lavon's, we'll get some grub.

And then we are
coming right back here

and we're finishing
this mess for real.

That, my friend,
is a great idea.

But I should probably
head to work soon.

How about we meet
back here later

for a little replay, you know?

Maybe we can get
some dinner first.

What...? No.

No, Zoe.

No, no. There's no dinner,
no dates, all right?

I told you-- this...
this is just sex.

Nothing more.

“Just sex”?

Right.

Sounds familiar.

Wha...?

What does that mean?

All right, here we go!

Come on, come on, come on!

This is mine!
This is mine!

Hey!

This... may be the worst
volunteer fire department

I've ever had to work with.

Maybe y'all should
just quit now.

No! No, no.
This is BlueBell.

We always pull together
at the last moment.

I guarantee it.

Jaysene!

Looking fine today.

Ow!

Ow!

Salutations, boss.

It is a fantastic day
to do some healing.

Is it not?

What is going on?

If you must know,
Wade and I had sex last night.

Aw, no! I do not
want to know that.

Really, truly amazing.
No!

And I think he's finally seeing
that we belong together.

Dr. Hart, have you
lost your mind?

You are a doctor.
You know there's

no relation between a man's
genitalia and his heart.

Sex can lead to love.

It did for us before.
This is a great step.

Phooey!

The man either
loves you or he doesn't.

Giving away the milk
for free only confuses you.

Belles, our co-leader
Crickett Belinda Watts

is back with us today.

Maybe we should start
with a show of support.

Or questions.

How did it happen?
When did it happen?

What do lesbians eat?

Does this mean
you're vegetarian?

Do you have a girlfriend?
Oh, is it Ellen?

Are you gonna start wearing fleece?
Or watching the news?

Have you always secretly
been in love with me?

Um, honey?

Why don't you just tell
them how you got here?

Uh...

I suppose I've known
since college.

There was this girl Donna Lynn.

For her, it was an experiment,
but for me...

it was life-changing.

Like when I finally realized
I don't look good in yellow.

Mm-hmm.
My parents had

certain expectations,
and then I met Stanley.

I guess I figured we could both
be secretly gay together,

but it turns out,
Stanley isn't even

a little bit homosexual.

What is his obsession
with his Pilates teacher?

And his hair?
And all those cravats?

He loves the ladies.

So, he's available?

As am I.

Ooh! I know a vegetarian.

What is going on with you two?

I mean, how do you expect
the team to work together

if you guys can't?

Work it out because
right now you guys

are about as useful as two
steering wheels on a mule.

He's right.

We do have to find a way
to work together.

I agree. I do.

But you should know

that when Lemon comes back,

I am gonna go after her
with everything I am,

and she will choose me.

Oh, that's hilarious.

She's gonna choose me, always.

Okay. We shall see.

Bertram, stop pestering.

I want to order
a muffin for the plane.

It's a long way to Europe.

I just don't want you
to miss your flight, you know.

Security nowadays just...

My stars. Lemon?

Oh!

Wonderful!
Oh!

Everyone's here!
Hey.

Lemon, what are you doing here?

You're supposed to be on
that cruise for three weeks.

We had a deal.

Well, I got a little seasick,

so I spent some time
with the ship's doctor

and we fell in love!

Everyone,

I want you to meet
my new boyfriend,

Dr. Henry Dalton.

Looks like she went
with door number three.

Ooh... Dr. Henry Dalton

is one of the Greensboro

Daltons.
...Daltons.

Delightful!
Okay.

Let's-let's get going.

Let's chop-chop.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

I'm not gonna let this
one slip off the hook

like so many prize catches have.

I'm postponing my trip.

All right.

Another round?

No.

No more games, okay?

We need to talk.

I know what I know.

What I have known since...

I love you.

And you love me, too.

Will you please just admit it?

Yeah.

Yeah, maybe I do.

Well, then, what's the holdup?

Zoe, the...

the holdup is the last
time we did this,

it damn near killed me.

And I hated myself
for hurting you.

So I tried to be a better man.

To show you that it would
never happen again.

And you still left.

I needed space.

Look, I get it, all right?

Doesn't mean it didn't slay me.

And just when I was
finally coming around

to the idea of you being gone,

of imagining life
without Zoe Hart,

you came back.

With another boyfriend.

That is not fair, okay?

Because you hurt me, too.

You really hurt me.

But I saw that you changed

and I forgave you.

I got over it.

I know it's not fair.

But you wrecked my heart, Zoe.

And I don't...

I just... I can't do this again.

What if I promised
that I wouldn't hurt you?

I guess...

...I don't trust that
you know how to stop yourself.

It's as simple as that.

Okay, then.

Here we go. Move it,
move it, move it, move it.

Let's do it, let's do it,
let's do it, let's do it.

Here we go, here we go,
here we go.

- All right, all right.
- Move it down.

Looking good, everybody,
looking good, looking good.

Yes!

We are really coming
together, people.

Just in time for the fire
inspector's visit tomorrow.

There's that teamwork
I was talking about.

Hey... Doc. Uh...

Haven't seen you in a while.

Hey.

Hi.

I don't have any hot water.

Do-do you think you
could look at it?

Yeah.

Yeah, sure.

I mean, that's it?

I mean, it's been eight weeks.

Can we...

can we talk?

What do you want me
to say, Wade?

You said how you felt.

No matter what I do,

you not trusting me
is kind of insurmountable.

Right?

I'll just fix
your hot water, then.

I swear, I swear that's
exactly the way it happened,

exactly the way it happened.

I can't believe that bozo's
lasted this long.

I know, right?

So what if he's a rich
former Navy SEAL

who's also a doctor
and looks like that?

I mean...

It's not a big deal.
Oh...

Not a big deal?

You risked your entire life

to save that town
from the plague.

It is a very big deal.

As a Doctor Without Borders,

that was just my job.

There are no borders, Lemon.

No borders.

Y-You know,

I have saved many lives

right here in this town.

Bertram, don't be a showoff.

Now, Lemon, Henry,

tell me again
about the night you met.

I could hear that story

100 times.
Oh...

My apologies, but I'm exhausted.

I think I'm gonna
go home and rest.

Oh, darling, you've been
run down for weeks now.

Perhaps you should
have a physical.

Maybe I could run a blood test.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Now, as I recall, you are not

the town doctor,

um, and I will examine
my own daughter,

thank you very much.

Lemon, you come
on by at 3:00.

I-I... I, uh...

Uh, medical emergency!

I... I just remembered.

Uh...

I gotta go. Bye.

He is more odd than ever.

Might be dementia.

It runs in his daddy's
side of the family.

Oh, all this sneaking
around is so hot.

Ooh...

But tonight, I want a real date.

Shelby, we both know
this is going nowhere.

I mean, you live in another town

and my family hates you.

We belong together, Brick.

And I am gonna
prove that, tonight.

At dinner.

Well...
okay, fine.

But my mother leaves tomorrow.

Let's do it then.

No, no.

You have been saying
that for two months.

Yeah.
Tonight, or I'm gonna march myself in there

and I'm gonna tell
them exactly why

you missed breakfast
this morning.

Ooh...

Okay.

Fine.

Tonight.

Let me give you a preview

of what's ahead.

Oh-ho...

Are you ready?

Yes, I am.

You know Henry once saved people

from an avalanche
on Mount Everest?

Carried all the Sherpas

on his back.

Was that before or after
he saved the orphans

from the burning school?

How does he find the time?

Nobody is that perfect.

I'm not buying it.

And the way he has Lemon wrapped
around his little finger...

No, you know what we should do?

We should do some digging.

Prove to her that he is
as phony as we think he is.

No. No, no.

You two will leave Lemon be.

She deserves to be happy
for once.

Anyway, you two
ding-dongs

should be thanking
your lucky stars

old Henry arrived, all right?

Now you got nothing
to compete for.

He saved y'all's friendship.

Shake on it.

Shake on it!

All right. All right,
all right, all right.

My work here is done.

Oh, my gosh!

I have it!

The Belles' list

of women seeking women
in the area.

I'm so scared to open it!

Open it, open it, open it!

Well?
What does it say?

Whoa...
Criminy Jickets.

Come here.

Zoe Hart!

Are you eating takeout
from the Fillmore

- Falafel Hut?
- Yes.

Thanks to stupid Wade,

I can't eat in Lavon's kitchen

or the Rammer Jammer...

You think your life is bad?

I am the only lesbian

in the state
under the age of 40.

My prospects for finding love

have been reduced to my
eighth-grade gym teacher

and your Aunt Winifred.

Baba ganoush?

Will you just come sit with us?

Wade's at the Rammer Jammer.
No need to hide.

Hello, pretty doctor.

Small, small town.

You know, I was thinkin'

maybe we'd all
have dinner sometime.

You and my boy,

and me and my gal.

Gee... thanks, Earl,

but that's never gonna happen.

I'm gonna go.

I can't believe my own
father stood me up.

It's typical.

Well, he has been
pretty distracted lately.

You're not the only patient
that he's skipped out on,

if it makes you feel any better.

Not so much.
Mmm.

So what brings you here?

Oh, Henry's being a worrywart.

I haven't been sleeping so well.

Just tired. Queasy.

Well, there is a virus
going around.

I've been feeling
pretty run-down myself.

Why don't I give you
a blood test

just to make sure
it's nothing else?

Okay.

Okay...

So I, uh,

noticed that you and Wade
are still barely speaking.

Yeah, well... I tried.

I really did.

But... you know,
what can you do?

He just keeps pushing me away.

You know that
he's just scared, right?

Maybe.

But maybe not.

But I-I'm really happy

that you found someone.

I mean, Henry...
he just seems awesome.

I mean, that is amazing,
how he saved those orphans

from that burning building.

Oh, it was just two orphans.

Just... two.

Okay.

Spill.

What is with the whistling?

Well, life is good, A.B.

Life is just mmm-mmm good.

Mmm.
Oh.

Lemon! You're here?

Yes, Daddy.
You told me to come.

And then you missed
our appointment.

Oh. Well...

you're in good hands
with Dr. Hart.

You know, she has really been

throwing herself
into her work lately.

What is going on with him?

Investigate.

Bye.
Good-bye.

I think Brick has
a secret lover.

Wait, what?

But seriously!
I mean, he's spacey.

Singing. Secret phone calls.

He let you examine Lemon.

She's been dizzy and
nauseous for weeks.

He didn't even care!

I mean, she could be
pregnant for all he know...

I'm just gonna go run
a few more tests.

Here you go.
Wade, it's Mae.

Earl fell down his hole again.

Seriously?

Again with the hole?

Earl?

Earl.

Ear...

Where's Earl?

Well, he's not in the hole.

I know he's not
in the damn hole.

I was just at the hole.

Wha...?

What's going on here?

We're sorry we tricked you.

But we didn't know
how else to get you

to sit down and talk
about all this

like two adults.

What is this?

Haven't you seen the movie?

We've been reverse
Parent Trapped.

Earl, Mae, th-this
is all lovely, but...

Ah! No buts!

Sit, relax.

Enjoy each other.

And this crisp white wine

while we go prepare
the amuse-bouche.

Well, they, uh,
really went all out.

At-at least it...

it gives us a chance to talk.

Wade, here's the thing, okay?

I have racked my brain
to try to figure out

how to prove that
you can trust me.

But it-it's impossible if
you don't give me a chance.

I want things to be different.

You know, I want you,
I want you to come

and knock on my door
and-and tell me

that you want this.

That-that you want
to take a chance.

I know, I know that
it's pathetic,

but it's the truth.

I don't,
I don't know what to say.

Who wants crab cakes?

No, I am so sorry.

But I'm actually not hungry.

Hear, hear.
Yes, sir.

Oh, good, you're both here.
I got that information.

I don't know what you're talking about.
Information? What information? I didn't...

I did some digging
and it's all true.

Mount Everest, the orphans.
The vice president of Peru.

Henry Dalton is a hero.

He's perfect in every way.

Except in that you two
don't like him.

You went to Frank?

We had a deal!
Yeah, well, you broke the deal!

No, you broke the deal!
No, you broke...

Who broke the deal first?

No, don't answer that!
Don't answer that!

I know your family hates me

and I live far away.

I know I treated you badly.

I know I'm selfish.

And I wish I could say that I've
changed, but I am trying.

I know I drive you crazy,

and I got a baby
that ain't even yours, but...

I have never loved anybody

like I love you.

Well, you know I-I have never

been able to resist you.

So, does that mean
you're not going to?

We can be a couple?

You'll tell Lemon and Magnolia?

Yes.

Damn it. Damn it, yes!

Yes! But-but...

if my mother finds out,
she will never leave town.

So, please, please,
please, please,

can we just keep
this under wraps

for two more days till
she leaves for Europe?

Uh-huh.
Anything for you.

Aw.

Well, night didn't go

quite like I hoped.

Look, you and everybody
else around here

got to understand that
me and Zoe, we just...

we don't work.

I... I get that you're afraid
of getting hurt.

I get that better than anyone.

After your mother died, I...

I was so afraid of loving,

of feeling again,

I... I hid inside a bottle

for 20 years.

Hiding did nothing for me.

And it'll do nothing for you.

Dad, it...
But I-I'm recovering.

I'm learning to...

live again.

Feel again.
And I'll tell you something.

Even if Mae crushes my heart,

it'll all be worth it.

Take a chance, son.

Don't be like your old man.

Hey, Zoe.

How are you?
Oh.

You know. Peachy.

Okay, well, uh,
Cole Maliska has a sore throat.

He's on his way.

The Alberstat twins
both have pinkeye again.

Oh, and, uh,
Lemon's tests came in.

Oh, cool.
Here.

Oh, my God!

Old Man Jackson was getting
his new wheelchair today.

I said I would be there!

Can you reschedule
all my patients, A.B.?

Of course!

Thank you.
Yeah.

Whoopsies!

Well, butter my biscuit.

It's the big day!

The inspector will be here

any minute.

All right, let's run
the drill one more time.

Hey! Hey, Jaysene!

Uh, now that we're done
with our training,

I was wondering
if you wanted to, uh,

go out some time?

I'm sorry, I've met someone else

I'm interested in.

I see.

Hmm. Why don't you take a
little longer there, Lavon?

Not like we have a fire
to put out or anything.

Hey, we had an understanding!

No, we didn't.

I called dibs!
So, what?

Maybe she just wants someone who

doesn't need a booster seat
at the dinner table.

Okay, okay. You know what?
You shut your fat face!

George, Lavon? Help!

Guys, guys!
Come on, come on, stop!

Stop it!

Look, Big Tom's right.

You-you can't just call
dibs on someone.

Well, why not?

Seems to me there was
an agreement here.

And agreements amongst friends

should stand for something!

Oh, now you're an expert
on friendship?

Oh, I am so sick
of you and your high horse!

Well, likewise!

No, no! Oh, God! Uh...

I guess you're
the fire inspector?

Yeah, I take it we're not
getting our department?

Try again next year, Mr. Long.

Shut it down!
Shut it down!

Oh.

She called me Mr. Long.

Hey, Jaysene!
Hey.

How's the fire training going?

Not well.

Uh, which means I won't be
staying in town much longer.

But I wanted to ask,
would you maybe want

to get dinner with me sometime?

Um...

like a date?

Exactly like that.

I'd love to!

Great.

What are you doing here?

Uh, well...

I thought maybe
we could go to dinner.

Is this a joke?

No.

I-I'm sorry I waited so long.

But you were right.

I love you, Zoe.

And...

I want to give this a try.

No.

You were right.

This is never gonna work out.

I-I'm sorry, Wade, but...

it's just too late.

I know you don't think
I know what I know.

But I do know.

Here is a care package for you.

Ice cream, pickles...
prenatal vitamins!

What on Earth is this?

Congratulations!

What? I'm not pregnant!

I have a virus!

Yes, you are.

I saw your test results.

Uh, I promise you I am not.

Henry and I haven't
even had sex yet, okay?

What? Why?

Oh, God.

It's all a ruse, okay?

We're just pretending
to be a couple, all right?

To-to-to placate
our demanding grandmothers.

Because, as you know,
I need the money for Fancie's.

And-and he's got
his own troubles, so...

Well, I can't say I'm surprised.

You do love
your fake relationships.

But I am confused.

There's no such thing
as a false positive

on a pregnancy test.

Well, I assure you
that test is not mine.

Well, then whose is it?

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!