Hart of Dixie (2011–2015): Season 3, Episode 13 - Act Naturally - full transcript

You broke up with Scooter?
You were right. He's a jerk.

Sometimes I think
I never should have let you go.

We should go out sometime.

We're renting a house!
No, we're not. We're buying a house.

It's just a few days' work,
right?

No, we're looking
at a top-to-bottomer here.

We need to talk about
where we're gonna live 'cause

Duke said that the remodel
is going to take two months.

You thought I was
gonna propose?

I told him I was fine
with waiting.

So, you're not?



You are the love of my life.

Do you know for sure
if I am the love of your life?

(sighs)

Hey, good morning.

Ugh! It was for half a second.

Then I opened my eyes
and remembered that I'm back

in Lavon's carriage house.

Lavon's rent-free
carriage house.

You agreed it makes sense.

And all the money we
save on the B and B,

we invest in our house
and our future. Besides,

you wanted to be here for
Lavon in his time of need.

That was nice of me.

Just, being back here
feels so lame,



like moving in with your mother

after you graduate college.

Hey! That happens, all right?

It's not easy for
a 22-year-old to earn a living

with a degree
in comparative literature.

Anyway, I know something
that might distract you.

Oh! Uh-uh! Nope.

- Come on, please? Come on.
Your birthday's in two days! - No!

You really don't want a party?

Well, what gave you that clue?

The 47 times I vetoed it
last week?

No, I told you,
every birthday...

"Only brings you that much
closer to death." I know.

I know.
Yes. And as a doctor, I oppose all things...

that bring anyone
closer to death.

Besides, all my birthdays
have been disasters.

They've been less about
what I want

and more about what my mother
wants for me.

Think of all the things
you have to celebrate:

a new house, a newfound family,

amazing boyfriend

who has to be a world-class
thrower of birthday parties.

I promise you'll have
a great time. Please? Please?

Please...?

Oh, fine!

But no trick candles
that don't blow out.

Deal.

Mm.
(door opens)

WADE: All right, all
right, break it up!

Get a room.
(laughs)

This is our room!

Lavon sent us to get y'all
for breakfast.

Next time, we'll knock.

Oh.

(door closes)
(sighs, groans)

I really hope those renovations
are done fast.

Oh, thank you so much
for my breakup pie!

It's exactly what I need
to get on my feet.

Oh, no! I totally forgot
to make you a breakup pie!

No, Crickett, it's fine.

I'm up to my ears in meringue.

Well, let me just say
how great you look.

Everyone is in awe

of how you are handling this.

You are a shining example
of how to conduct oneself

when a relationship crumbles.

(chuckles wryly):
What do you need?

Could you maybe come to the
Belle meeting tomorrow?

You do recall
I'm no longer a Belle?

Rejoin. I'll fast-track you.

Please?!

Ever since
I almost bankrupted them,

those ladies are out for blood.

I need an ally!

You need a distraction!

Win-win.

I'm sorry, Crickett.

I'm just not in a social,
or a Belle...

or a helping-out kind of place
right now.

Please understand.

Fine.

But promise me,

when you see my head rolling
through town square,

you will return it to Stanley.

Mm-hmm.

Well, this is cozy.

You know, there really aren't
enough seats for all of us.

So Joel and I will just go
to the Rammer Jammer.

I actually own the Rammer
Jammer, so we'll go.

Nobody leaves!
I need my friends.

Time of need?
And look at all this food.

It is a lot of food,
even for you.

I figured you'd be hungry.

I cooked a lot, too,
when my husband and I separated.

It's good. It's good to stay
busy when you're, you know...

Lonely, sad, pathetic?

Lavon, just know that time
heals all wounds...

and rebound sex.

And that's my boyfriend, folks.

Mm-hmm. Come here.

As much as I'd like to stay
and watch my ex stick

his tongue down my
newly-found cousin's throat,

I have to get to work.

Call me if you need anything.

Bye.
Bye.Mwah!

Okay, people, attention.

We are at DEFCON 1
for birthday planning.

Zoe finally agreed

to have a party!
Zoe hates birthdays.

Zoe's not a fan of birthdays.
I know,

but I'm very persuasive.
All right, now, Lavon,

I hate to ask
on such short notice, but...

You want to know if you
could have it here.

I'm not gonna be the most jovial
host, but, yeah, sure.

Yes!
What can I do?

Uh, decorations, playlist,

and invite the Wilkes.

Maybe not that judgey
Aunt Winifred, but all the rest.

All right!
I gotta go do the invites!

Okay.

Hey, maybe you could invite
your dad to the party.

I'd love to meet him.

Oh, uh... yeah.

Well, you know,
he's-he's busy that night.

Working.

He's, uh, working

a lot of nights.

Oh, yeah, he's a hard worker.

Sometimes he passes out
from working so hard.

WADE:
Yeah.

Okay.

Splash of two-percent
like you said,

Mr. Tucker, Esquire, sir.

(chuckles) "George" will work
just fine, Tom.

I'm not sure it expresses my
gratitude for the opportunity.

You see, you saved me
from a super demeaning career

that involved
my removing clothes

and accepting dollar bills
as payment, which was...

Right. Let's just, let's just

try and start
our day of business.

Yeah, okay.
Okay.

Breakfast delivery!

A Ms. Truitt is here
for you, sir!

Little late on that, Tom,
but we'll work on it.

Hey.
Hey.

To what do I owe this surprise?

I have been thinking
about that kiss

that we had,
that very excellent kiss.

And I know afterward,
I said I wanted to take it slow,

but I'm thinking maybe it's time
we moved this thing along.

So I would like
to ask you to dinner...

and dessert.

Are you sure?

This really something
you want to argue about?

No, ma'am.
How's Saturday night sound?

You're on.
Okay.

Hey, A.B.!

How are you doing?

Great!

Oh, you have some
powdered sugar...

Oh. Right here?
Uh-huh, uh-huh.

Did I get it?
Yep.

Ah, yeah, we just had waffles
this morning at Lavon... Sorry.

We just live there now, so we, Joel
and I, went by there before...

Zoe, you don't have to apologize
for seeing Lavon

or eating at Lavon's.
(text alert sounds)

Or having your birthday party
at Lavon's.

Just got the invitation.

That's weird for you.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Just that you've been handling
all of this so well.

We figured
that it would be fine.

But I'm just gonna have
Joel change it. It's no problem.

No, no, it's fine.
I can handle it.

Okay.

Crickett, you're right.

I could use a distraction.

I'll see you at the meeting.

Oh, what is going on in here?

Okay, okay, get off!
Who is it?

Scooter McGreevy?

Greetings and peace, George!

Okay, yeah, that's
enough of that.

Scooter, what the hell
is going on?

And what the hell
is with this getup?

George, I've had an epiphany.

I just got back
from a walkabout in Bhutan.

Three weeks, the Himalayas,
no shoes,

and I discovered
that I have been

an absolute ogre
of a human being.

I could have saved you
that entire trip.

I hear your anger, bro,
and I get it.

But I am changing,

metamorphosing, if you will.

Trying to heal the world.

I quit my job with Mayor Gainey.

I took a gig with GreenWorld
International in Mobile.

Oh. You?
Defending the environment?

It's not gonna defend itself,
now, is it?

Okay, you'll understand me
when I say that this sounds

like a truckload
of complete crap.

I get it, Tucker.
Change is hard to accept.

Just do me a favor.

Don't tell Tansy you saw me.

I'm not ready to face her yet.

I want to be full butterfly
before we re-meet.

Yeah, don't worry
about that at all.

I'm gonna, I'm gonna do my best
to forget all of this, okay?

Good feelings and harmony, man.

Yeah.

Hey! Great news!

Everybody's coming
to the party.

Half the town,
the entire Wilkes family.

I have to admit,
I'm looking forward to it.

I promise you, this is a birthday
that you'll never forget.

CANDACE:
Hello?! Anyone home?

Holy crap.

Hell no. Joel, tell me
you didn't invite my...

Mom!

Hi!
Hello.

I can't believe this!
What are you doing here?

Well, I waited for an invitation
to Thanksgiving,

Hanukkah, Christmas--
never came.

So I figured I wouldn't
let a lack of invitation

keep me from
my only child's birthday.

Joel, the South seems
to be treating you well.

Yep.

Except, no, you can't get away
with not shaving.

Good note.
I'm guessing

that Zoe steamrolled you

into ignoring her big day,
am I right?

Actually, no,
I was just planning...

On ignoring it!
Like I said.

No, I am taking
the two of you to dinner.

Don't worry, small, no fuss.

No candles
that don't blow out. Fun?

Fun!

Great. I'm gonna go
check into the B and B,

and I'll be right
back to catch up!

What is happening?

Why didn't you
tell her about the party?

Because you're canceling it!

What?! Why?

My mother and I just managed
to put the past

behind us, okay?
To build a relationship

out of trust and honesty.

You haven't told her
about the Wilkes.

Yep.
Oy.

Yep.

(car horn honks)

(seagulls calling)

Did you cancel it?

Uh, the Internet is spotty
here, and I didn't want

to leave a message for Lavon
last night.

You mean that you were hoping
I'd change my mind overnight.

Yes! You can't keep this
a secret forever.

Yes, I can.
I purposely live

2,000 miles away from my mother.

A distance at which
painful truths,

like replacing her
with my biological family,

need never be spoken.

It's very complicated
being you.

Thank you for noticing.

Now, will you please cancel
the party?

Mom!

Morning.
Hi.

Well, I hope
that you got some rest.

We have lots of things
to do today.

Thought we'd, uh,
kick things off

by taking a tour of the house.

The house that you both bought.

Of course. No,
I'd love to see it.

Well, I'll see you ladies later.

I have some fun to dismantle.

(clears throat)
Is he okay?

Oh, you know writers,
always cranky about something.

Huh.

WADE:
Hey, there, Mrs. Doc.

I didn't know you were in town.

Oh, Mom, you remember Wade.

(grunts)

Yeah, I, uh,

I think she remembers.

Ooh.

(laughter)

Oh, you guys, this is too much.

Just a token of our appreciation
for your return.

Okay, who's ready

to start the meeting?

ELODIE: We are thrilled
to have you back.

You were missed.

Terribly so.

ANNABETH:
Oh, oh, my goodness.

(gavel banging)
Okay, thank you.

Okay, ladies, I believe someone

who looks a lot like me
said the meeting was starting.

We have priorities.

Priorities?

You mean like
not bankrupting us?

SADIE:
Or moving up Belle events

to pay our charter?

ELODIE:
Or being unorganized?

Or having terrible people skills?
ANNABETH: Ladies,

you know what?

Let's focus
on the important things.

I mean, have you heard
that the Mobile Marigolds

have stolen our idea

for a pink tea for
breast cancer awareness?

Then how are we
gonna retaliate?

A blue tea for prostate cancer.

Yes.

Yes!

(mouthing)

Okay, go double
on the peppered prawns

and-and the sweet potato tarts.

Yeah, all right,
thank you, thank you.

(phone beeps)
Oh, there he is! Ha.

The man that brought me
back to life.

Wow, you, uh, you really...

You really went all out here.

(chuckles) Yeah.
Um...

But we should talk, because,

um, see, Zoe's mom...

Well, it's the least
I could do.

I mean, truth is,

this is exactly
the kick in the pants I needed.

You know, I mean,
this time yesterday,

my house felt like a tomb,

but today, look around.

(chuckles)
It is filled with joy, Joel.

Joy!

(chuckles)
A-And streamers.

Oh, yeah.

Uh, what was it you wanted
to talk about?

(sighs, laughs)

So, this will be
the living room,

dining room,

games room, home gym.

Plans are still in progress.

Hey, you just missed
the po'boy truck.

Earl, you're working
on my house?

CANDACE:
Your insurance

will not cover that.

I drop by every now
and then to consult.

Make sure my future
daughter-in-law

is getting her money's worth.

How's it going, sister wife?

Earl, you know that Wade and I
are no longer together, right?

CANDACE:
And that even if they were,

it wouldn't make me
your sister wife.

I don't understand what
either one of you is saying.

Although you look
real pretty saying it.

I bought this house with
Joel, my new boyfriend.

Been together a while.

You've probably seen us
walking around town.

You mean the-the guy
with the glasses?

He carries that man purse?

I thought he was your brother.

We hold hands. We kiss.

Well, I figured you were
real close.

Wade must be crushed.

Wade is fine, I assure you.

I think I better be
getting home.

(sighs)

I think this po'boy
is kicking back on me.

GEORGE: Wait a minute,
wait a minute, wait a minute.

You-you watch that show, too?
Are you kidding me?

I have seen every episode

of Don Todd's
Monster Golf Safari twice.

The one in the Sahara
where he sinks the putt...

Oh, when he's surrounded
by all those scorpions.

Yeah.
I-I think that's my favorite episode.

Absolutely, actually.

I... Oh, God.

(George sighs)
Scott?

Is that you?

Tansy, I wasn't ready
for you to see me yet.

Really?
That's why you're standing

in the middle of town with
a giant white sign on you.

Do you know the conditions

that these poor animals
suffer for our whims?

I had to come

when I realized.

Since when do you care
about animals?

Since you, Tansy.

Your compassion for animals,
for the environment,

for humans in need,
it must have sunk in.

When I lost you,

I took a hard look at my life.

I've made a lot of
mistakes and now

I'm trying to right them.

Okay, she's not falling
for any of this nonsense,

(clears throat) okay, Scooter?

We got to get moving, so...

Of course, but, Tansy,

I hope that one day
you can forgive me

and know that I
am trying so hard

to be a better man.

(groans)

Please tell me you're not
buying into that phony.

I mean, it's-it's
Scooter McGreevy.

(chuckles) Right.

It's just... Right.

(sighs) Do you mind
if we call it a night?

I've got this bit of a headache.

Sure, sure, sure.

I-I'll take you home.

(chuckles)

ZOE:
I have already found

some very promising tips online

on how to get rid of that smell
in the garage.

You hate the house, don't you?

No, no, I...

I love the house.

Okay, so then why are you all like...
(sighs)

The house, Joel,

forgotten holiday invites.

You're setting down roots here,

building a future,
and I can't help but feel

that there isn't
a place for me in it.

You're shutting me out.

What? No.

No shutting out.

We're celebrating
my birthday together, right?

JOEL: Candace, did
you enjoy your day?

The house is great, isn't it?

Zoe, quick sidebar.

I'm so sorry.
Sure.

Why not just shut me
out of the conversation, too?

Okay.
Please tell me

you cancelled the party?
Uh, no.

I'm sorry. I tried
to pull the plug,

but Lavon has gone
all out on that party.

(groaning) He told me it is
literally the only thing

bringing him joy right now.

If we cancel, I swear
he's gonna feed himself

to Burt Reynolds.

Well, my mother
is having a meltdown

about not being
a part of my life, okay?

It'll wreck her.
Yeah, well...

(chuckles)

Well, someone's gonna have to

get wrecked, okay?

Because you have a birthday
party and a birthday dinner,

and you can't be in
two places at once.

You're not Mrs. Doubtfire.

I love that movie. (gasps)

No, please. No...
no crazy ideas, please.

All I wanted for my birthday

was for no one's feelings
to get hurt, okay?

(sighs)
Is that too much to ask?

It's gonna be fine.
Trust me.

I hate it when you say that.

Oh. (chuckles)

(country music playing
over phone)

JOEL:
Breakfast in bed

for the birthday girl!

And now, as an additional gift,
I will not sing.

(laughs) Waffles?

Fruit? (gasps)

What's this?

(gasps)
Those earrings I was ogling

at the vintage pop-up shop
in Mobile?

I love you.

Mwah. But you're still not getting
out of that plan tonight.

(sighing):
Oh, come on. Please.

It's a really complicated plan.

It's not. It's simple.

You go to dinner with Candace
because I get called away

for a medical emergency,

only I'll really be
at the party with Lavon

until I have to make up
an excuse about you,

that "Joel's got
those headaches again,"

and I'm back at the restaurant
in time for the cake

with the candle.
It makes total sense.

If you're Lucille Ball, yes.

Look, please,

please don't make me do this.

Your mother
is very intimidating,

and I get very nervous.
All you have to do

is keep her occupied.

Talk about her favorite subject,

herself.

Compliment her, easy peasy.

(knocking)

Oh, Tansy.

Hey.
Hey, George.

Have a minute?
Uh, yeah.

Of course.
I thought it only right

to let you know that after
we ran into him last night,

I called Scott.

Uh, what? No. Tansy, no.

He asked if we could go
to dinner and talk some more.

I said yes.

Tansy, it's all an act.

You don't know Scott like I do.

I saw how working for Gainey
was eating him alive,

and maybe he really is
trying to change.

I think I owe him the courtesy

of at least listening
to what he has to say.

I'm sorry, George.

I'll call you later.

Yeah, of course.

(chuckling)

(clears throat)

Hey, y'all.
What are you doing here?

Please don't say pies.

AnnaBeth,
the SS Belle is sailing

straight over a waterfall
thanks to Captain Crickett.

Oh, come on, y'all.
Crickett's not that bad.

She makes Judy Prescott cry
every day.

Judy Prescott, winner of

"The Happiest Girl in BlueBell"
six years running.

The point is we
are voting Crickett

off the throne,

and we want you to go up
in her place.

What? No.

SADIE:
AnnaBeth, what better way

to get over your breakup

than to pour yourself
into fixing the Belles?

Can't say
it's not tempting, but...

Please, just think about it.

All right, ladies,

quietly now,

reverse and disperse.

Okay.

EARL:
I can't believe

you didn't tell me

that you and that pretty doctor
broke up.

I thought you knew.

It was pretty public.

For a few months there,
wasn't a day went by

that I didn't get slapped
as a result of it.

I could've been there for you.

Seen you through your heartache.

Thank you, Dad,

but I'm fine.

And I happen to be in a
great new relationship.

Really?

When am I gonna meet her?

Oh, I reckon
I could pencil you in

for sometime early 2016.

(chuckles) You embarrassed
of me or something?

I love you, Pop, but remember

when you had those
business cards printed up,

and it said "Crazy Earl"
right there in black and white?

I figured that's how
people know me.

Exactly.

I'll talk to you later, Dad.

(groaning)

Scooter's doing tai chi
in town square.

I had to avert my eyes.

It's practically
public indecency.

That phony,
no-good, fake phony.

I just don't get how Tansy

can't see he's lying.

As your new assistant,
I will investigate,

find out what's really
going on with him,

Mr. George Tucker, sir.

That's not really
in your job description, Tom.

But do it anyway.

(laughing)

Hey, guys.

Joel, you really do have
a tardiness problem.

So...

who's ready
for their birthday dinner?

Me!
I am.

Well, not my...
I know... (chuckles)

It's her birthday.
I'm just gonna be

coming along to it also.

Um...

Wow, your teeth
look bright today, Candace.

Thank you.

(Zoe clears throat)
Uh, yeah, uh...

(phone ringing)
Oh.

Sorry, I have to get this.

(beeps)

Hey, Shula.

What's up?

Stomach pain?

Oh, how bad?

Yeah, it's probably
your gallstone.

But I'm in the middle
of something, and I...

Honey...
One second.

Oh, sorry, I'll be off soon.

If you have to see a patient...

Uh... no!

I-I don't.
We have plans.

It sounds like she needs you.

Well, Shula just doesn't
like change, is all.

Listen,

you go take care of Shula,

Joel and I will get settled
at the restaurant.

Are you sure?

Mm-hmm.

Shula, hey, you're in luck.

I'm on my way.

Okay.

I will be as fast as I can.

Joel, you know what
to order for me, right?

If I don't,
I will make something up.

Joel, are you all right?

You look clammy.

(laughs nervously)

No, no, I'm-I'm fine.

Um... but you,
however,

you just look...

Have I mentioned your teeth?

Uh, you did, yeah.

I'll be quick!
I promise.

(quietly):
Move on from the teeth!

(people talking, laughing)

Just try to hold it together.

It hasn't even been that long.

It feels like hours.

If judgment had a face,
it would be your mother's.

That is so true.

Look, I'm gonna try
to speed things up, okay?

But just try to keep
steering the conversation

towards her favorite subject:
herself.

Bye.

(sighs)

(humming nervously)

Lavon!

Hey!

This is so amazing.

I can't believe you
did all this for me.

But can we keep
the momentum going?

Maybe we could do the cake now?

Are you sure?

It's still early.

Where's Joel?

Poor guy. He's sick.

He's missing all the fun.

Plus, Brando and his buddies,

they have to leave
for their charity game.

Horseshoes for heart disease
or something.

And Grandpa Brando,
he loves his cake, so...

You're the birthday girl, huh?
Cake!

Yes, I am.

A.B.!

You came!

Oh, I am so, so,
so glad to see you.

Uh, are you okay being here?

I'm great.

Of course I'm here.

I mean, I wouldn't
miss all this.

Oh, no.

Earl is six

king-sized sheets
to the wind.

Shoot.

Will you excuse me one second?

Mm-hmm.

My, my, my.

You and Lavon here
at the same party

just one week after your
soul-crushing split.

Inspiring.

If that was me, I'd be
lying on the rail tracks.

But seriously, you are the most

mature person I've ever met.

How do you do it?

Just, you know,

finding various
civil-minded distractions.

Rejoint.

Oh.
And...

where is the bar?

Is it... bup... oh!

Yes.

Oh, uh...

Earl...

How ya been, what you doing?

Do you know where you are?

I'm here to introduce myself

to Wade's new girlfriend.

(sniffs, laughs)

He doesn't want me to meet her,

but I think it's
a real good idea.

Don't you?

Um...
Will you just... just

point me in the right
direction and push?

Oh. Here?
Mm-hmm.

How's Shula?

Zoe's patient.

Complications.

Nothing
life-threatening,

but just
time-consuming

and just very complicated
complications.

Um... you know what,

though, it's a bunch
of medical mumbo-jumbo.

I never understand
what she's saying anyway.

But she's... she's gonna
be here very soon.

You know, Joel, I have to say

I am very disappointed
with what's going on here.

And I can't believe you
allowed it to happen.

I allowed it to happen?

How did this become my fault?

This is not...
This was Zoe's i...

Wait.

I'm sorry, what do you
think I allowed?

You allowed her
to move to BlueBell,

to buy a house,

to set down roots
1,000 miles from me.

I had a very happy summer

in New York with my daughter.

Even happier when she found

a New York boyfriend.

Yet somehow, we're back here.

I blame you.

This is fun, though, huh?

Isn't it?

Just a real chance for us

to get to know each other.

♪

TOM: Are you sure you want
me to tell you everything?

Because once I say it,
it can't be unheard.

GEORGE:
Tom...

Okay, I verified
with Gainey's people.

McGreevy did give his notice.
Really?

However, as of
at least noon today,

there is no associate
named Scott McGreevy

at GreenWorld in Mobile.

See, I knew he didn't develop
a passion for the environment.

What is he up to?

Well, I did find
a law firm in Mobile

that does have an associate
named S. McGreevy.

It's called
Bannister & Grigsby.

Of course.
Of course!

Bannister & Grigsby!

Tom, you are a rock star.

Thank you.

"Rock star."

Can we add that
to my official title?

No?

Okay, but... uh...
think about it.

Take your time.

Get back to me.

What do you say you and me
have a quick celebration

of our own over at my place?
Mm.

We could be there and back
before anyone even notices.

Well, that's tempting.

But we cannot leave.

(laughs)

Oh, hey, great idea.
Hall closet.

What do you say?

Hey, buddy.

The host is asking for you.

Something about getting
rid of an armadillo

that wandered into the party.

Ugh, yuck.

No, you're on your own.

Hmm-mm.
All right.

If you and Wade
were still together,

I bet you'd make sure

he'd let me meet
his new girlfriend.

Sure, yes.

Absolutely.
I...

You know, I would have
preferred an actual armadillo.

Oh, there you are.

Hey, Dad.
Oh...

I wanna meet this new
girlfriend of yours.

People love me.

Hey, come on, Daddy,
you're in no shape

to be making new friends,
all right?

I'm in the best
shape of my life.

Hit me in the gut.

Go on. Go on.
WADE: All right.

Time to say good night.
Come on, let's go home.

No, no, forget it.

Changed my mind.me.

I don't wanna meet
your new girlfriend.

I already don't like her.

She'll never measure
up to this one.

Never.
Earl...

It's a father's duty
to tell the truth.

And the truth is

you two made a big mistake

letting each other go.

I knew that.
It's a...

tragedy, is what it is.

It's like Romeo and...

Mrs. Romeo.

All right.

Time to say good night.
Come on.

Upsy-daisy,
let's go, Dad.

WADE:
Uh...

Tell Viv I'll be right back,
all right?

And...
thank you.

Come on.

Pay attention
to walking, all right?

Come on.
What's this thing?

(guests cheering)

AnnaBeth.

Lavon!
Hey. Hi.

I'm... I'm glad
you made it.

You know, I wasn't
sure you'd be here.

Of course I'm here.
Celebrating Zoe. Yay!

Where'd you think I'd be,

sitting at home,
feeling sorry for myself?

No. No, I didn't
expect you to be.

Why not?
What?

Why shouldn't I be sitting at
home feeling sorry for myself?

I-I didn't say that.
You know what

I keep hearing?
How civilized this breakup is,

how great I'm doing.

Well, it's all poppycock.

AnnaBeth, you sound
a little angry.

I am angry. And sad.

And it's all your fault.
And you should

know that because
I gave you my heart

and you used it like a dishrag.
And truth is,

you probably would've been happy
just stringing me along forever.

No, that's not true. I'm...

Look, th-this is not the place.

You know what? One day,
I'm gonna meet someone else,

someone who will love me
the way I deserve

to be loved,
and you will realize

how stupid you were
to let me go

because I am the best thing
that ever happened to you.

But in the meantime,
I am done being civil

and polite and quiet!

(others stop talking)

God.

(glass clinking)

(talking resumes)

Her fish is cold,

her gazpacho's warm...
I know it may seem like

we're dining with Godot here...
(chuckles)

It's just--

a little Beckett reference--
um, but I'm sure

that Zoe will be finished
with Shula at any second now.

SHULA:
What's that, dear?

I heard my name.

What you want?

Uh...

I said "hula."

"Hula." D...

Don't mind us. Okay.

I was really hoping

this wasn't another
of my daughter's crazy schemes.

Joel.

Tell me

what is going on.

You're a very intimidating kind
of person, did you know that?

Oh. Bye. Thank you for coming.

Zoe Hart,

you're not leaving already,
are you?

Oh, yeah. I
have to bail.

I'm so sorry,
but it's been amazing.

Joel isn't feeling well, so...

You want me
to bring over some soup?

I got a spicy chicken noodle
knock the cold off an Eskimo.

Oh, no. I could not risk
getting you sick.

That would be
one bad birthday memory.

(chuckles) Okay. Bye-bye.
Ciao for now.

Oh, Lavon. Hey.

Thank you for everything.
I got to go.

What... Is something wrong?

No.

Okay.

Zoe.
Huh?

Uh, I-I know Joel is
sick, but I got to know...

why do I hurt everybody
I care about?

I mean, please,

don't leave. I-I need to
know why I'm broken.

You're my best friend.

You're a doctor.

Diagnose me.

(phone rings)

Hang in there, sweetie.

It's gonna be
a little while longer.

(clears throat)

(sighs)

(footsteps approaching)

(chuckles)
Rough night?

Yep. I lost it.

I got so sick of everyone
telling me

how great
I'm handling everything.

Being a beacon of
responsibility can be hard.

Believe me, I know
all too well.

I think the Belles are
gonna vote me out tomorrow.

I think so, too.

Well, thanks for at least
trying to help out.

I know we haven't been
that close lately.

But you and Lemon are my
oldest and dearest friends.

And I know you always
have my back.

So if there's anything
you want me

to do to Lavon, I will.

My mom has this great recipe

for chocolate chip cookies
that induce the runs.

Oh!

(laughing)

Thank you, Crickett.

But stand down.

All right.

You meet the perfect person and
your problems go away, right?

That's how it's
supposed to work?

What if I'm the problem?

What if there's
something wrong with me?

No, Lavon, there's
nothing wrong with you.

Well, A.B. is amazing.

In every way.

I love her.

But something
just pulled me back.

I can't give her what she wants.

And-and what if that's
the biggest mistake of my life?

No. The biggest mistake
of your life

would be proposing
or marrying someone

you're not 110% sure is the one.

Lavon, I know you hated
hurting AnnaBeth.

But eventually,

all that lying, it would've
blown up in your face.

You're right.

Thank you.

Well, I guess you should
go find Joel now.

Actually, right now, I think

I have to go infuriate
my mother.

(laughter)

Yeah, kind of.
Isn't that true?

Oh, I-I mean...

Tansy, can I talk
to you for a second?

Uh...
Hey.

How's it going, buddy?

George, maybe now's
not the right time.

No, now is the right time.

Maybe the best time.

You're gonna want to hear this.

Do you want to man up and tell
her what's really going on here?

Or are you gonna make me do it?

George, I do not know to
what you are referring.

That's how you're
gonna play this?

Okay.

Scooter's lying
about his big life change.

His new environmental job.

Yeah, he's going
to Mobile to work

for a big, dirty,
earth-pillaging,

animal-hating, money-grubbing,

giant, evil corporate law firm.

Boom! G-Tuck dropping
truth hammers.

Scott, is that true?

And is there such a place?

No to the first.

And, sadly, yes to the second.

Bannister & Grigsby.

I used to worship that firm.

(chuckles)
Used to? Used to.

Liar. Tell me this.

Why do the good people at
GreenWorld not have you listed

on their roster
as a new associate?

Probably because I'm not.

They hired me as a partner.

Okay, and what
about Bannister & Grigsby?

- Mr. Tucker? Sir? - You expect me
to believe that it's just a coincidence

- George? G-Tuck? - that they have a
S. McGreevy working for them right now?

I'm sorry...
What, Tom?!

I am on a roll here.
I just called the number listed

for S. McGreevy because
I was gonna leave

this mean voice mail like,

"Oh, we got you,
Sleezeball McGreedy"

but then a woman picked up,
said her name was Sara.

"S" for Sara.

Said she's Scooter's cousin.

That she is.

I've been trying to get her
to quit that awful job.

"McGreedy."
(chuckles)

That's funny.

And it's very effective.

Kudos.

I see how this could
look very bad on me.

(laughs)

Enjoy your meal.

And your evening.

(laughs nervously)
It's...

ZOE:
Joel, thank God you picked up.

Zoe, listen.

No, you don't have to say it.

You were right about everything.

I have to tell my mom
about the Wilkes.

The longer I hide the truth,

the bigger it's gonna
blow up in my face.

Bring my mother to the party.

I'm so glad
to hear you say that.

Just means you're more likely
to forgive me later.

Happy birthday, sweetheart.

This is going better
than we ever expected.

She's not even upset.

It's just as likely that that's

a very lifelike Candace robot.

VIVIAN: Zoey,

I cannot believe you did not

tell us your mother was coming.

This is a great surprise!

Well, what's a birthday
without a surprise?

You got a special girl,
Mrs. Hart.

I do.
We love your daughter.

Meeting her has been
a complete godsend.

And we want to get
to know you, too.

Come on.

Meet the rest of the family.

Oh, there's more of you.

Bring them on.

(sighs)

Come on,
that's got to feel good.

Yes, it does.

So why can't I stop looking
for the other shoe to drop?

Oh, it's NPO.

Naturally pessimistic outlook.

But don't worry, we're
gonna work on that.

(gavel bangs)

Time to call this
meeting to order.

When the gavel goes up,
the mouth goes shut.

Okay, new business.

I move for an immediate
emergency recall vote,

removing you, Crickett,

as Head Belle.

You're controlling and mean.

You let the power
go to your head.

So, I nominate AnnaBeth Nass
to take your place.

I accept. (laughs)

I am so grateful
to be given this chance.

From now on, Belles are
gonna stictogeer,

through thick and thin,

so I'm gonna nominate
a co-leader...

Crickett Watts.

I won't do it without her.

Fine.
(clears throat)

All in favor?

You know, it means a lot
to me that your dad made time

in his schedule to meet me.

Uh, full disclosure...

Earl might have a little more
free time than I let on.

I kind of had a feeling.

The problem's mine,
not his, okay?

Guess I wasn't keen
on an introduction

because, on occasion,

Earl can get
a little... odd.

And drunk.

And for whatever reason,

I didn't want anything
to change what you think of me.

Was that so hard to say?

Nothing's gonna change
what I think of you.

For whatever reason.

(leaves rustling)

Oh, my goodness,
what do we have here?

Either Sunday
came early this week,

or my dad dressed up
to meet you.

Step on over here, you two.

Let me get a good look at you.

My, my, aren't you
a handsome couple.

Vivian, I want you
to meet my dad.

It's a real pleasure
to meet you.

Oh, it's great to meet you.

(chuckles)
People call me Earl.

Hey, Tansy.

If this is another attempt
to discredit Scott...

I'm sorry.

I came here to say I'm sorry.

For all of it.

It's been a roller coaster.

Yeah, the kind where
you're upside down,

loop after loop, strapped
in only by your feet.

I love those kind.

So, you and
Scooter? You, uh...

Giving it another shot.

George, you know
how I feel about you,

but I have history
with Scott, too.

In spite of myself,
I loved him. I...

I still do, and maybe now he's

actually worthy of it.

He changed for me, and nobody
has ever done that before.

I hope that it
works out for you.

Truly.

Truly, I do.

I'll see you around.

(soft chuckle)
Actually, um...

I promised Scott that I would
quit the Rammer Jammer.

I think he knew
how hard it would be

to see you every day.

But he got me a job in Mobile

at an actual hair salon, so...

So, this is good-bye.

Who knows.

It is us. (chuckles)

And we have the worst
relationship luck

of any two people
I have ever known.

You'd think that would've meant
we're perfect for each other.

(laughs)

All right, then.

Good-bye, Tans.

Bye.

ZOE:
There you are.

Buy you breakfast
on your last day in BlueBell?

Well, I don't know, did you
have a secret first breakfast

with your other family?

Hmm. Okay, I deserved that.

I am sorry that I didn't
tell you about them sooner.

I know, dear.
I was worried you would feel hurt.

But now that it's all
out in the open,

I realized that there was
nothing to worry about

to begin with.

I'm so glad that you
came and met them.

It was a great birthday.

It was, and you're right--

the Wilkes are terrific.

Loyal, caring.
A great family.

Yeah, it's nice to have them here.
I know, and that's why

I can't let them win.

Hmm? Win?

Who win? Win what?
You, Zoe.

If BlueBell is where you're
gonna have your life--

a house, a family,
eventually grandbabies--

well if this is where
it's gonna be, then this

is where I'm gonna be.

I'm staying.

In BlueBell.

Uh, BlueBell, Alabama?

Hey, so...

what'd I miss?

The other shoe.