Hart of Dixie (2011–2015): Season 1, Episode 8 - Homecoming & Coming Home - full transcript

Hey. You're the one who ruined
our parade, aren't you?

I haven't started off well
in BlueBell,

with sabotaging the parade

and making an archenemy
of your fiancée.

You know how difficult
this is for me.

Difficult never stopped me.

I'm so sorry that I
don't know what I want.

We got to figure out a way
to get along.

- You're right.
- So maybe we can be friends.

- I'd like that.
- Yeah.

Sure are taking your time
with that bandage, Doc.



I don't understand.

There must be some single guys
in BlueBell.

Well, there's always Wade.
You did nearly hook up

- with him. - Yeah, and that was
a mistake, mistake, mistake.

I didn't give Judson a chance.

- Can I buy you a drink?
- Yeah. - Great.

Guess it turns out

we can be friends.

I don't think we can.

Why not?

Because I still love you.

Ready! Okay!

Oh, look.

It's my favorite guy.



And you, Judson.
How are you?

Doing well.

Is Bo feeling okay?

- Oh, he's much better.
- Right.

So you're just walking him
'cause he

makes you such a ladies' magnet

- or...?
- It's homecoming.

Got to watch team mascot
over the weekend,

make sure the rival team
doesn't get any funny ideas.

All right.

Come on, Bo.

Bye, Bo.

Big Blue! Big Blue!
Big Blue!

Big Blue! Big Blue!

Big Blue! Big Blue!

♪ ♪

What's wrong now, Happy?

Another bullfrog in your bed?

Too many grits,
not enough patients?

No. This whole
homecoming thing

is bringing me down, Lavon.

Oh, come on, now.

It's football
and family and friends.

What's not to love?

Nothing.

Homecoming is awesome...

if you're from the town
everyone is coming home to.

If you just moved to that town,

it's just another reminder
that you don't fit in

and nobody knows you,
blah, blah, blah.

Hey, hold on.

I might be able
to help you out with this.

See, every year,
Lavon Hayes hosts

the Thursday night
pregame party.

Folks just love my crab dip,

my mix CDs,

my apple martinis.

Thing is, I'm a little
overextended at the moment.

You know, coach's mama took ill,
he had to leave town,

asked me to take over for him.

Is there an assistant coach
for that kind of stuff?

Assistant coaches don't always
win homecoming games.

NFL champions,
on the other hand...

That's right...
you're very special.

I get it.

How is this helping me?

You can host the party.

Give you a chance to, uh,

participate
in the town festivities.

I've never thrown anything

this big by myself before.

You know what?

I have a friend in New York...

she's a professional
party planner.

I'll call her
and ask for advice.

Yeah.

Uh, no, you don't need
a professional.

It's pretty much just, uh,
chips and salsa,

whatever beer is on sale
at the local Dixie Stop.

Look, here's, um,
my usual shopping list

if you want to use it
for a jumping-off point.

Thanks, Big Z.

Well... thank you.

We need to talk.

I'm meeting some friends
for breakfast.

It's rude to be late.

Lemon, I told you I loved you.

Now, you-you can't
just ignore me.

...right into Kimmy's garage door.

I mean, we all know
she likes to sing in the car

with her eyes closed,
so that's crazy.

Oh.

So what are y'all
talking about?

Sophomore year.

Homecoming weekend.

Wasn't that the most fun?

Suppose I don't remember.

Don't remember?

You almost burned down
the football stadium.

That was a long time ago.

Might as well have been
a different person.

So... what time is everyone

going over to Lavon's
tomorrow night?

Well, I'm afraid
that George and I

won't be attending the party.

My poor fiancé is still
hobbling around on crutches

thanks to that terrible
crossbow incident,

and I just don't feel right
leaving him all by himself.

You are such
a good person, Lemon.

Well, I try.

I do.

Mimosa.

Not a waiter, Lemon;
bartender.

Thank you.

Yeah!

What's happening, man?

Good to see you.

What's going on, man?

No way.

Hey, Wade.

Don't tell me you need
another divorce already.

Guess who just walked
into the Rammer Jammer.

Jimmy Praboo.

Jimmy Praboo?
Well, get out of town.

- Are you sure it's him?
- Oh, 100%.

I could smell the stench of evil
a mile away.

Guess you know what this means,
don't you?

Don't tell me
you still have the list.

Waiting in my drawer

the last ten years.

Nobody...but nobody...

puts heat rub
in George Tucker's jock

and gets away with it.

Yeah, that was a, uh...
that was an unfortunate week.

So you in?

Hell, yeah.

But I'll tell you what...
why don't you come over

to Lemon's instead?
'Cause she's cooking.

There's always
way too much food.

How's 7:30 sound for you?

I'll see you then, Mighty Mouse.

Later on, Donkey Kong.

Hello, darling.

I'm having sex
with Ryan Gosling right now.

He says hi.

Oh, should I call back, or..?

Never. Even if I were

having sex with Ryan Gosling,
I would

kick him out of bed
just to talk to you.

That is how much I love you.

Now, tell me everything.

What has become of my poor,
sweet, exiled little waif?

Have you succumbed to a life

of hayrides
and chicken-fried steaks?

No. And it's not that bad.

I'm surviving.

Actually, the reason
I called you

is because I'm throwing
a party tomorrow night,

and I need your advice
on something.

Ask away, darling.

Okay, let's say

you were in the market
for a Jell-O mold.

Is there a certain flavor
that's better than the others,

or do all molds
pretty much taste the same?

I'm sorry.
I think the connection's bad.

Did you just say Jell-O mold?

Zoe, you have a minute?

I'm going to call you back,
okay?

Bye.

This is, uh, Colby Slaughter,

starting quarterback
for the BlueBell Blue.

He just puked on the field.

Bummer.
How do you feel now, Colby?

Not too good.

Your eyes are pretty watery.

Have they been
bothering you all day?

Since yesterday.

I thought it was just a cold,
but then my stomach

started hurting
this morning and...

It sounds like you
just caught a bad flu.

Like a 24-hour
kind of flu?

Maybe... but you shouldn't
practice anymore today.

You don't want
to overexert yourself.

But I have to practice.

The game is only two days away.

Now, now, Colby.

It's just a game.

Your health is more important
than football.

He'll be okay by Friday, right?
Two whole days off.

I'll have Addy run a blood test,
make sure there's no infection.

But just to be safe,

you'd better prep your
other quarterback.

But Joey sucks.

Yeah, he does, Colby.

Yeah, he does.

Lemon.

Another beer.

You snap those fingers at me
one more time, Wade,

I swear to God I will chop them

off that dainty
little hand of yours.

Hey, come on, now, y'all.

Let's... let's
try and remember

who the real enemy is here.

Not my enemy.

I don't even remember
a Jimmy Praboo.

He was three years ahead of us

when Wade and I
joined the football team,

and he took it upon himself

to make our lives miserable.

I mean, he would steal our
jerseys, he would make us...

make us late to practice,
and he would put

shaving cream in our helmets.

Tell her about the heat rub.

Let's just say that he deserves

what is coming to him.

But who cares?

- It was a million years ago.
- Hey.

I care.

Yes, of course you care, Wade,

'cause you're still a child.

But, George, honey, it's...
it's beneath you.

It is.

A little bit.

You're right.

But there is a sense of justice
being done here,

and I am a lawyer,

and, Lemon, you
do not understand

the pain that was...

There was a...
there was a burning.

It was... it was just a...
it was a burning.

Which is why I still say
we go with number four.

Can't even read this.
This says, uh, uh...

"Fill his locker
with tarantulas"?

And you realize...

he doesn't have
a locker anymore.

So we fill his car
with tarantulas!

Though I guess that would take
twice the amount of tarantulas.

I know a guy who can
get them on the cheap.

Okay. What
else we got?

I still think
number six is doable.

All we need's a helicopter
and a tiny monkey.

Oh, for heaven's sake.

Lemon... help us.

- What? Excuse me?
- What?

You are a natural at this,
sweetheart, and you know that.

And nobody ever pulled off a
prank quite like Lemon Breeland.

I-I still don't know
how you got that cow

into Mrs. Gleason's
office,

but watching her try to lure
that thing down the stairs...

that was amazing.

Okay, for the record,

Mrs. Gleason was being
terribly unfair

about allowing me
to retake the vocabulary test.

She had it coming.

So does Jimmy Praboo.

No.

No.

Gigi!

You said
Jell-O mold,

I heard nervous breakdown.

I can't believe you're here.

The flight was only two hours.

Pierre let me borrow his plane,
so it was easy-peasy.

Oh, before I forget...

Zabar's?

I figured BlueBell
doesn't do bagels.

There's kosher salami
in there, too.

That's your favorite, right?

Can I kiss you?
Would that be weird?

So I want to hear about you

and BlueBell

and this amazing party
you're throwing.

I don't know how amazing
it's going to be.

It's basically just
a football thing.

The town's gearing up for a big

homecoming game this weekend.

Homecoming. Adorable.

It's... it's like
Friday Night Lights,

but without all
the depressing parts.

Wow.

So, then, your party

is, like, a big deal.

I hereby offer you my official
party planning services,

free of charge.

You're welcome.

You wanting to help
is so sweet,

but I don't know if BlueBell
is ready for a full-scale

Gigi Godfrey event.
I'm still trying to fit in here.

So we'll do it just right.

Just wait. By this
time tomorrow night,

Zoe Hart is going

to own BlueBell.

Cheers!

Oh. Omelet or scramble?

I've gotten pretty
good at both,

although the soft boil
still eludes me.

Why are your shoes green?

I have no idea.
I'm not even awake.

Sorry about that.
It's my bad.

I had the lawn greened up
for the party tonight.

You know, wanted the place
to look nice.

I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you,

what with the crazy football
uniform you're wearing.

I'm going to practice.

Yeah, I thought this might
help inspire the kids.

Lord knows,
they're gonna need it.

You're inspiring me right now.

Lavon, this is my friend Gigi.

She's helping me with the party.

Gigi, this is Lavon.

Your shopping list was
so helpful, Lavon.

Thanks for the great tips.

My pleasure.

Oh, another word to the wise.

Double up on the crab dip.
It's a crowd pleaser.

Good to know.

Have fun, you two.

I still don't see why you had

to bring Lemon in on this.

Why are you making such a
big deal out of this, huh?

I mean, the three of
us used to hang out

all the time back
in high school.

Yeah, back when she was fun.

She still is fun.

She is just stressed out,
all right?

She's got the holidays
coming up and, you know,

she's got all the
wedding plans.

Look, this is a chance for her

to blow off some steam
and have a good time.

She doesn't know how to have
a good time anymore, man.

She's-she's-she's stiffer
than a...

Do not finish that thought.

Afternoon, gentlemen.

Hey.

Who wants tuna fish
and who wants turkey?

Oh, baby, you didn't have to go
through all this trouble.

Turkey's got cheese,
though, right?

Of course, sweetheart.

Hey, this is supposed

to be a strategizing
session, not a pic...

a picnic.

What's this?

That is the official
BlueBell itinerary

for homecoming weekend.

If you flip to page
three, you will see

that Jimmy Praboo
is officiating

the coin toss
at the game this Friday night.

Now, that is where

- we want to get him.
- Hey, Lemon?

We don't need a location
for the prank. We need a prank.

And the key to pulling off a
perfect prank is specificity.

I cannot practice proper

psychological warfare
until I understand

the psyche of who
I'm dealing with.

Now, she's just making up words.

If you want my help

in destroying Jimmy Praboo,

I need to know
his Achilles Heel.

His fatal flaw, if you will.

Jimmy's real vain.

He's a real

pretty boy type.
He never left

the locker room without making
sure every hair was just so.

He used a lot of mousse.

Oh... that is perfect.

What is perfect?

Boys, I'm gonna need
some Fun Sip...

Blue Raspberry.

That would be fabulous.

I owe you one, Tom.

Ciao, darling.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Tom?

Colicchio.
I'm flying him in,

but only if we like his
menu more than Susan's.

- Take a look.
- Well, I see

you're keeping everything
under control.

Just read the menu and
tell me you're not in love

because I am in love.

And I am going to exercise
my veto power.

- On which one?
- All of it.

Gigi, it's too much.
I know these people.

Seared octopus is not going to

appeal to their palates.

Maybe you're
underestimating them.

Trust me, I'm not.

Fine. Then it's your

responsibility to help them.

Show them what they've been
missing all their lives.

Let your New York flag fly!

They don't like
my New York flag.

They don't even like my shorts.

Sweetie, can I be honest?

From what you've told me,

you've spent a lot of time and
effort trying to fit in here,

but it hasn't
worked; you've got

one friend,
and you pay him rent.

There's also Shelley...

rapidly becoming
a legitimate acquaintance.

Maybe it's time

to show this town the real you,

the amazing you,

and let them fall in
love with that person...

the way I did...

the way the best city on the
entire freaking planet did.

New York loves Zoe Hart!

New York really did love me,
didn't it? We totally hung out.

Damn straight!
You rocked that city,

and you could do
the same here, but not

if you're afraid to give people

your best stuff.
Do you trust me?

I do...

Excellent.
Now, let's discuss cocktails.

Okay.

Hey, Zoe.

Care to share?

Nothing to tell.

He's the local veterinarian;
we almost went out on a date,

but then we didn't, because...

Because he's gay?

- What?! No!
- Oh, honey,

please!

What, what are you doing?

- Hi, I'm Zoe's friend, Gigi.
- Hi.

We're throwing a party tonight
at Vaughn's house,

and we would love
for you to come.

That does sound like fun.

Unfortunately,
I got to watch a pig tonight.

The more the merrier!
See you at 8:00.

See? Gay.

You're insane.

Oh! How could this
possibly happen?!

My backup quarterback is out,
too!

Flus are contagious.
Viruses spread.

And these boys are literally on
top of each other all day long.

It's unfortunate,
but not that surprising.

Is there some kind
of mysterious

quarterback flu
I don't know about?

Like swine flu or bird flu?

None that are

registered with the CDC,
but I can double-check.

Please do!

Because Lavon Hayes
does not accept defeat!

Unless he doesn't have
any quarterbacks to play,

in which case,
Lavon Hayes is screwed.

Well, Colby's lab work came back
negative for group A strep.

I can run more tests,
do a culture for pertussis,

see if I missed anything.

If only Colby were here...

Oh, look at that.
Colby's here.

For the record, I didn't let him
on the field.

Colby, I told you to stay in bed

and get some rest.

I'm just watching.
In case I feel

better tomorrow,
I want to be ready.

Yeah, well, in the meantime,

you could be infecting
the entire team

with whatever it is
that you have.

Colby, go home!

Joey, go home.

Everyone else,
you're all getting a physical.

Who's first?

- Get out of the way!
- Me first!

Hey, hey, one at a time.

Out of the way!

- Look out, Bob!
- No, no, no, no. Me first.

Oh, no.

Yay! You're home!

I got the best hookup for
cater waiters in Mobile.

Those two were dancers in that
movie with Cher and Christina.

So much dirt.

- Gigi, I have just had the longest day.
- I know.

I expected you home forever ago.
But don't worry,

I've got it under control.

Although the fact that
you haven't even mentioned

my dress yet
is deeply upsetting.

I'm sorry. It's great.

I knew you'd love it.

Still finishing up my face.

Wait until you see
what you're wearing.

Uh, but I don't, I don't,
I haven't thought about...

Ta-dah!

I saw it at Bergdorf's
yesterday and had

to get it for you.

Doesn't it remind you

of that dress you wore
at Zach's party?

Zach's party. Um...

This is going to beat it.
The people here

are going to die when
they see you in this.

They're going to erect
a statue in your honor.

Talk to me.

Okay, these are all
sugar-free just like you asked.

Okay.
And you got the wrench?

You know, I'm a little sick
and tired of being treated

like an underling
in this operation.

You'll won't even know
Jimmy was in town if it wasn't for me.

As of yet, I don't have
any reason to believe, Lemon,

that your ideas are
any better than, say mi...

Whoa!

Cool!

Oh, that is more than cool.
It's effective.

If I were to turn that hose
on you right now, it'd stain

your skin bright blue!

You are freaking amazing.

I'll admit it's got style,

but I still don't see how
we're supposed to smuggle

a garden hose into a football
stadium full of people

without getting caught.

Oh, sweet, simple Wade,

your mama must've

dropped you on your
head as a child.

Here's how it's gonna go down,
soldiers.

Tonight, while Jimmy's out
to dinner with his Nana Betsy,

we are going to break
into his hotel room

and fill the showerhead
with the powder.

After dinner,
he'll come back to change.

He's a pretty boy, right?

There's no way that he'll go
straight from dinner with Nana

to Lavon's party
without a quick shower.

Two seconds under that spray,

and he will be blue as a Smurf
for the whole weekend!

And he'll stay home.

- Game over.
- Oh, he will

opt out of Lavon's for sure.

But he can't miss the game.

After all, he is officiating
the coin toss.

He has to be there.

She's back, ladies
and gentlemen!

Wait!
Wait a second.

Okay, all right,
all right. Oh, baby!

Quick, quick, put me down!

Oh, my God!

♪ ♪

Welcome everyone!

Enjoy our signature cocktail.

A blue moon for the fabulous
people of BlueBell.

Why is it purple?

Blue is so blah, and purple
just pops, don't you think?!

It's the crème de violette

that gives it the color.

It tastes good.

I promise.

Hm-mm.

Good Lord!

It's like a bordello threw up
in the mayor's house.

We went
with a bold color palette.

I think it looks pretty.

Lavon's gonna love it.

You mean, he hasn't seen it yet?

No. He's still
at practice.

Oh...

Zoe! This party is

capital F for fabulous.

Molecular gastronomy
in BlueBell!

I'm gonna give it
a rave in my blog.

Then again, I'm probably
the only one in this town

who appreciates
a good truffle foam.

I don't understand this food.

It's foamy!

Foamy faux hoagies?

It-It's just not right.

- Hi.
- Judson!

Hey, you came.

Yeah. A purple drink!
This is fancy.

Where's Bo?

I thought he was your
responsibility all weekend.

My cousin is watching him
this weekend.

Were those guys in Burlesque?

Love that movie.

Jimmy Praboo.
Twelve o'clock.

Wait. There's the shower.

Next comes the scream.

That can't be good.

Seared doesn't mean hot.

I just want chicken fingers.

I hear you have
a new friend in town.

No big deal. I thought
we were friends, but...

whatever.

You can have two.

However, your lack
of chicken fingers?

That's unforgiveable.

Is that a fanny pack?

I needed a place to
store my cell phone,

and I like to use
two hands when I dance.

You don't wear that thing
in public; it's rude.

Rudimentary...
in its convenience.

Nice to see you, Wanda.

I can't believe you actually
defended that thing.

My eyes are still
recovering from the sight.

Come on.
She's really nice.

We need to talk.

What on earth were
you thinking, girl?

This party is... whew.

- There are no words.
- I'm so, so sorry.

I was just trying to take
BlueBell to the next level.

But instead I made it bad
and wrong, and I'm pretty sure

one of the cater waiters
flashed the minister,

so I think I'm actually
going to hell.

- What should I do?
- I don't, I don't know, Zoe.

Uh, I gotta come up with
a game plan for tomorrow.

Look, maybe you should just
consider this a life lesson

and shut it down.

Shutting it down.
Done and done.

That is the best idea ever.

What was the best idea?

My idea.
Where the party ends.

- Now.
- What are you talking about?

- It's not even 10:00.
- Gigi...

the party didn't work.

Excuse me?

This party totally works.

It's these people
who don't work.

Gigi.

Look, I'll have you know that
these are the finest people

- this side of Alabama, now.
- Oh, so we're grading on a curve?

I know you did not
just say that.

All right, you two, just stop,
all right? Calm down.

- My party is amazing.
- I think you mean my party.

I think you both mean my party.

- Zoe.
- What?

- Shutting down.
- Right now.

You must be kidding me.

You...

What are you doing?

I need your help.

I can't. I promised Lavon

that I would shut
down this party.

What the hell are you doing?

It's a medical emergency, Doc.

Lemon might've killed someone.

See? This is what happens
when you unleash Crazy Lemon.

Oh, my God, I'm going
to prison, George.

Do you know what they do
to girls like me in prison?

I do.

Oh, shut up, Wade. This is all
your fault in the first place.

- Okay, let's just all try and
calm down, here. - This is my fault?

All I wanted to do was
pants a dude at a party.

Then suddenly, you're on board,
and we're breaking and entering,

and, and murdering people.

He's not dead.

Thank goodness.

He is, however, blue.

That part was intentional.

Yeah. Does he have a concussion?
Anything like that?

Just a gnarly bump on his head.

But other than that, he's fine.

Except that he is blue,
and that is still problematic.

That part, Dr. Hart, is frankly
none of your business.

I'm not the one who's asking.

Then I saw myself in the mirror,
and I was all... all...

- Blue. - Blue.
- Yeah.

That was freaky.

So I tried to rush out of there.

Guess I must have slipped.

Headfirst. Right through
the shower curtain.

Jimmy? Um...

We can't apologize enough.

All right? It was supposed to
be a harmless little prank.

After all the stuff you
did to us in high school.

- But obviously...
- Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

I know you guys!

Wade Kinsella and George Tucker.

Man, I ain't even
recognize y'all.

Probably 'cause you weren't
swirling our heads around

- in a toilet bowl.
- Shh.

What? He started it.

You guys are ridiculous.

You could have caused
some serious damage.

I can call the sheriff for you.

- I'd be happy to do so.
- No, I get it now.

This is payback
for that heat rub thing, right?

Huh?

Nice! You boys come a long way!

Look at.... You got
me good. Boom!

I'm blue!

- Yep. You sure are.
- I'm blue.

Yeah.
Blue's blue.

All right, then. What say
we all go over to Lavon's?

- No!
- No!

How could you even consider
going to a party right now?

I mean, how insensitive
can you be?

It doesn't matter anyway,
because the party is over.

How do I know the party's over?

Because I'm going back
to end it right now.

I'd go for some flapjacks.

Yeah.

I could. I could.

I'm down.

♪ ♪

Where the hell did you go?

I am so sorry.

I was called to
a medical emergency.

Well, I don't need
this right now.

I got the, the coach
on the phone upstairs.

You were supposed to
help me tonight, Zoe,

not make things harder for me.

Everybody out!

Go!

Good-bye.

Thanks for coming.

Nice blue colors.

This is the worst

homecoming party this
town has ever seen,

and the one in '92
was hit by a tornado.

Well, I will just make sure
that everybody remembers

who hosted this travesty.

Don't forget your party favor.

Where the hell is Gigi?

Oh.

Zoe.

Hey.

Good news!
He's not gay!

You get my messages last night?

Lemon.

All right, just so you know?

I didn't come over because it
felt like you want to be alone.

It wasn't because I was more
interested the flapjacks.

Okay, fine. I really,
really wanted flapjacks.

But...

I'm not mad at you, George.

Are you sure?
'Cause you seem mad.

I'm mad at myself.

I shouldn't have gotten involved

in that stupid prank
in the first place.

I knew it was
a bad idea, and then...

to have Zoe Hart,
of all people, call me an idiot

and have she be right.

Zoe doesn't know
anything about it.

We were just having fun.

But I don't want to have that
kind of fun anymore, George.

I'm over it.

Now look, I just...

I just thought you missed it.

I mean, being a free spirit,
and-and-and rebelling and all.

I just...

You just seemed so much
happier back then.

Well, of course I was happy.

I was 16 years old.

It's easy to be footloose
and fancy-free when you have

no responsibilities,
but that does not mean

that I'm not happy now.

Listen, I like

clipping recipes
and making dinners,

and I'm excited about this
new chapter in our lives.

And so am I.

I just thought that...

Listen, you just
thought... that...

I could be everything,
all the time, forever.

I... can't be a wild child
and a mature woman,

and I don't want to be.

I-I don't want to be reckless.

Believe me.

It never ends well.

What the hell is wrong with you?

Is it 100% necessary
to be yelling right now?

You destroyed my friend's house,

and you abandoned
your own party.

I thought it was your party.

Then you slept with my vet.

I didn't mean to sleep with him.

I was doing a little recon to
confirm his sexual orientation...

for your benefit,
I might add...

and things got
a little out of control,

which shouldn't be a big deal,

considering you've never
even been out with the guy.

- You're acting like...
- Like what?

A morally stable individual,

who knows the difference
between right and wrong?

Yeah. Super judgy.

Like all those jerks
who came over last night.

Just because the people
didn't like your party,

doesn't make them jerks.

Attacking someone for matching
their sweater to their shoes,

- on the other hand...
- Oh, please.

How is that any different from
the time that you made fun of

that girl for wearing
rhinestone cowboy boots?

What girl?
What are you talking about?

Last year.
Angie's party at Tenjune.

Don't act like
you don't remember,

because I can find it
on YouTube....

Oh. Where's the bathroom?

That's one classy lady
right there.

I don't know
how to apologize to you.

Ah, forget about it.

I got bigger fish
to fry right now.

With my QB still sick,

may have to forfeit the game.

God. It's like

a thousand degrees in here.

Don't you people have A/C?

What, do you have a cold
or something?

I think I'm just hungover.
But it doesn't make any sense,

considering I didn't
even drink last night.

What's going on there?

I have no idea.

Oh. It must be from the grass.

What were you doing rolling
around in the grass?

Oh, my God.

Did you have sex
with the vet outside?

What vet?

What, you mean your vet?

We started outside.

Then we moved inside.
It was a whole thing.

She slept with your vet?

I can't believe
I'm asking this,

but is it possible

that you ingested some
of the grass while you were...?

Oh, yeah, I guess
it's possible.

I mean, position-wise...

No, no, no,

no.

Lavon, the people
who greened your lawn

for the party,
did they also green the field

for the big game?

They sure did.
That's where I got the idea.

Organophosphate poisoning.

The chemicals on the field
are what made you sick.

General exposure won't
cause you any harm,

but you guys are quarterbacks,

so you're probably always
licking your fingers

to get a better grip
on the ball, right?

Which means they've been
basically eating the poison.

Over and over again.

I'm going to give you guys
an atropine injection.

- Should make you feel better.
- Good enough to play tonight?

It might take a few hours
for the atropine to kick in,

but you should be fine.

Whoo!

Lavon Hayes is back
on track, baby!

Gigi?

Come to wish me luck?

How dare you tell me
that you love me.

- Excuse me?
- We are not children, Lavon.

We can't just go around saying
everything that's on our mind,

doing whatever we want,
acting reckless.

I was just being honest.

Don't be honest.
Be a grown-up.

What constitutes
being a grown-up

- in your opinion?
- It's easy.

You keep your feelings inside.
You control your urges.

You do what's right even
though it feels wrong.

So you admit
that it feels wrong.

I am not getting sucked down
this rabbit hole with you, Lavon.

Just promise me you're gonna
stop acting crazy, okay?

No more outbursts.
Just promise me, Lavon.

Promise me.

We can keep our feelings
inside as long as you want to.

Doesn't mean they don't exist.

I still can't believe

you dyed your skin
our school colors.

I mean, talk about team spirit.

Oh, yeah, that's right.

There you are.

I was too sick to go home.

But don't worry, I've checked

into the Whippoorwill
Blossom Bed and Breakfast.

The owner has six cats...

which as you know
I'm allergic to.

So, now I'm nauseas,
green and sneezing.

Atropine. Should help
with your stomach problem,

although you're going to have to
find another solution for the cats.

Is this hysterical to you?

No. You just remind me of
me when I first got here.

But now you love
BlueBell, right?

You want to marry it and have
its little redneck babies.

I wouldn't say that,

but I definitely don't
hate it as much as I used to.

I guess I've changed,

which is why this whole thing
isn't completely your fault.

Do you think?

You were right.

I used to love
going out with you.

Getting dressed up,
the trendy food,

the occasional mocking of the
fashion challenged individuals.

It was the best.

But, I don't know, last
night it just didn't...

it didn't feel like me anymore.

You defended a fanny pack.

I know. That was weird.

The truth is, I don't...
I don't think I fit in here,

but I'm not sure that I fit
in New York anymore either.

I'm kind of nowhere
at the moment,

which is really scary,
but not your fault.

I'm sorry I yelled at you.

All is forgiven,
my little ladybug.

And I'm sorry
I slept with your vet.

That's really not okay.

But I forgive you, too.

Thanks for these.

I'm going to check out, collect
my complimentary needlepoint

and get on the next flight

back to New York.

Call me when you come back home.

You gonna bring
your pom-poms tonight?

Well, got to show my
school spirit, George.

After all, I was
head cheerleader.

Oh, you don't have
to remind me of that.

First time I saw you
in that lile outfit,

I knew I had to marry you.

You were always a sucker
for a short skirt.

Look, I want you
to know that you...

you don't have
to be everything for me.

We don't need to talk
about it anymore.

I may not ever be good enough
to deserve you, George Tucker,

but I'm going to spend
my life trying.

That's a promise.

Hey, you, uh, going to the game?

I can't. I've got some stuff
I have to do.

Besides, I'm pretty wiped out.

Must have been some party.

Did, uh,

Judson show up?

He did.

Y'all hook up?

What? It's just a question.

Not that it's any of your
business, but no, we did not.

I don't think Judson
and I were meant to be.

Well, it's probably
for the best.

I always thought
that guy was gay.

Hello?

What... Is all this for me?

I thought you could
invite some friends over

to celebrate the big win.

Congratulations, by the way.

Thank you.
Thank you very much.

Oh.

Is that crab dip?

I bought extra.
It is a crowd pleaser,

- after all.
- You didn't have to do all this.

I know, but I wanted to.

You are a good friend, Lavon.

You're probably my best friend

in the whole world
at the moment. No pressure.

Well, as long as I don't
have to go shoe shopping,

that's fine with me.

Wow.

Hey.

- Hmm?
- Do you have any more

of those Zabar's garlic
toasty thingamajigs, would you?

I'm sure I do. Why?

Oh... Now imagine how good they
would taste with my crab dip.

- Ah, yeah!
- Ah, yeah!

Oh...

- Mmm.
- That is good.

- That's pretty good.
- That's quite tasty right there.

You gotta try some of the crab
dip that you love so much.

I think so. Should we
go green, or what?

Wait, let me see if I
can get this up there.

Here we go.

Oh! Passed to the fridge.

- Oh!
- Oh!

Yeah!