Hart of Dixie (2011–2015): Season 1, Episode 7 - The Crush & the Crossbow - full transcript

Harley Wilkes was your father.
He left you his practice.

Taking your time with that bandage.

If there's anything I can do to repay
the favor, you know where to find me.

- I'm just not that kind of girl.
That why you stopped our little frolic?

You got googly eyes
for golden-boy George?

Hello there, Dr. Hart.

- Wanna be seen talking to me?
- I'll take my chances.

Zoe Hart has flipped
some New York switch in you...

...and you are not the same person anymore.

- You know how difficult this is for me.
Difficult never stopped me.

I don't know what I want.



I can't believe you gone this long
without tasting Agnes' sweet tea.

- It's a Southern staple.
- I'm not really into sugary things.

It's not that sugary.

Well, not if you compare it
to her grape lemonade...

...or a cup of sugar.

Shep, how's it going?

How do you think it's going?

Ever since you started
that steak-of-the-month club...

...I spend every fourth Tuesday
being chased by gators.

I'm pretty attached to my legs.
I'd like to stay that way.

I got a package for you, Dr. Hart.
It's from your mom.

Nice note.

Seems like she had a good time
down here.

Glad you two made up.



Shep.

- Huh?
- We'll see you around. Okay?

Hmm. Yeah, well...
- Ha, ha.

- Ooh. Cashmere. That's nice.
- My mother doesn't do nice.

She doesn't send a package
without an agenda.

There's obviously- Aha.

- An agenda.
- One of your friends got married?

- My college roommate.
- Yeah, so your mama was being nice.

Lavon, you so don't understand
New York mothers.

She sent this to imply
that my life is at a standstill...

...while everyone in New York is moving on.

Look at Sophie.
She's married, in private practice...

...while you're doing nothing.
Thought I would enjoy this? My ass.

Big Z, no offense, but it's not like
you're working on a social life here.

A, it is impossible
to have a social life in BlueBell.

- Who am I gonna date, crazy Earl?
- That-

And B, it doesn't matter,
because I am only here for work.

And it just so happens
that I find my work very rewarding.

A pig? You want me to stitch up a pig?

The vet's all the way in Mobile.

Please, ma'am, he's our mascot.

So you single?

- Miss Breeland, I'm sorry. I can't.
- The Junior League was counting on you.

I'm sure, but I'm afraid I'm double booked.

NASCAR and I work
for the Make a Wish Foundation...

...and there's a lot of kids in Birmingham-

Okay, let me tell you something,
Mr. Brian Vickers.

You think you take your life in your hands
every time you take the wheel...

...but you have not known true fear
until now.

I am siccing the entire BlueBell chapter
of the Alabama Junior League on you.

And we will be watching and waiting
until the time is right...

...to strike.

Take care. It was a pleasure to meet you.
Say hello to the children for me.

It was nice meeting you as well.

Hey, Brian.

Hey, you-? You okay, man?

Man, tell her I'm sorry. I'm terribly sorry.

- Let me guess, he cancelled?
- The day before the event.

I promised I could deliver
a major NASCAR driver.

What am I supposed to tell Delia Ann
and the Junior League?

That he cancelled?

George, the turtle race raises money
for ecological purposes.

It's a very important cause.

The cause is great,
but, I mean, the race... Heh.

I mean, you gotta admit,
it's a little silly.

Oh, honey. It's okay.
No one expects you to come.

What are you saying?

Everybody knows you're afraid of reptiles.

I'm not afraid of reptiles, okay?

I'm practically poker buddies
with Burt Reynolds the alligator.

- Mm-hm. Mm-hm.
- Uh-huh.

Just those racing turtles are a little-
Well, they're a little unpredictable.

- Mm-hm.
- Margaret Mitchell got me in the arm last year.

Dearest, it's okay.

Tomorrow night you can just go off
and do whatever you want.

Have a good time.

Baby...

I'm serious. She bit me. They bite.

Okay. And how long have you
been experiencing the symptoms?

- The headache and the hangnail.
- Couple weeks, few days, don't know.

- Is it true you're from New York?
- Yes.

- How long you been in town?
- Couple months.

- Is the pain all over your head?
- You dating anyone?

It just so happens
that I'm taking a year off from dating.

Hmm.

I'm supposed to be asking the questions.

Wow, look at that, headache's gone.
You are a great doctor.

Wait, what?

I'll just take my lollipop and skedaddle.

I'm sorry.

I didn't see the sock on the door
of my medical practice.

What's eating you?

All my friends in New York are evolving.

Going to openings and parties,
first-run movies.

Getting married in the New York Times.

When I get back, I'm gonna be
like those astronauts from Avatar...

...who were shoved into sleeping pods
and wake up...

...with a year of their life gone,
while not advancing their social life.

So start dating.

I mean, you might meet somebody
wonderful here. I know I did.

Oh, honey.

Bill, you are absolutely right.

He is?

Mm-hm.

I may only be here a year...

...but I need to evolve too. I should date.

I don't expect to meet my match
in BlueBell, I'm not banana balls.

But it's time to get out
of that sleep-pod thingy.

Put a little life experience under my belt.

Yeah, I'm gonna date.

I don't understand.
There must be some single guys in BlueBell.

Of course there are.
- Well, I do gut my own fish.

And a good fish gutter is so hard to find.

Tom, I've told you before,
you're just too young for me.

Well, Shelley, thank you for the grub.
Keep the change. And you...

...I heard that you stitched up our Bo.
Bet that's the first time...

- ... you had to do anything like that.
- What?

No, I did a farm rotation in med school.
Mm-hm.

Udder bypasses, beak-ectomies,
goat-o-suction.

Right. Ha, ha.

Well, you have a nice day. Thank you.

We like to crank it up loud

And get the whole dang crowd

Oh, no. Oh, honey, don't tell me.

George Tucker is the opposite of single.
Which means he's-

Taken. I know. I don't like George.

There's gotta be some other guy
in this town.

Someone like George but single.

There's Wade. You did nearly hook up
with him a couple weeks ago.

Yeah, and that was a mistake,
mistake, mistake.

Why don't you just give him a chance?

- Then tell me all about it.
- Ha, ha.

Hey, doc. Shelley, two beers.

- And two more for my wife.
Yeah.

- Anyway, so he's drunk.
Yeah.

And the other one happened to him.

Brian Vickers bowed out?

It's not a problem. I'll just find
somebody else to co-host with me.

I'll just call that agent in Mobile...

...and we'll drum up
some other sports celebrity.

But why?

We've got our own local legend
right in town, Mayor Hayes.

Oh, no.

- We can do much better than that.
- I disagree.

- Excuse me?
I am not a fan of the man.

But it's time for this league
to face the fact...

...that the man is astoundingly popular.

It's settled. Ask him this afternoon.

- But-
- I'm sure I didn't hear a "but. "

- No.
- Of course you didn't. Ha, ha.

It's such a great idea.

Wade is married?
How could I not know this?

- We didn't know they were still married.
- But how? Who? Huh?

About four years ago Tansy and Wade
were messing around for a few weeks.

Then one night, they get rip-roaring drunk
and come back married.

Just like a bad sitcom,
except instead of Vegas...

...it was a shrimp boat
in international waters.

Only lasted about four months
because they fought all the time.

Thought they were divorced,
but apparently-

There are no single men in BlueBell.

Excuse me. Hi. Dr. Hart?

I'm Dr. Judson Lyons.
I'm a vet up in Mobile.

Uh, hi, Dr. Lyons.

I wanted to thank you
for that wonderful job you did on Bo.

I've never seen subcuticular sutures
on a pig before.

Oh. It was nothing.

May I ask you to dinner as a thank-you?

You're kidding?

And by that she means, "Hell, yes. "

Say ooh-la-la, la la la, la la

Ooh-la-la, la la la, la la

Yeah, it's nice.

I don't want nice. I wanna knock him dead.

I want va-va-voom. Is it va-va-voomy?

Z, isn't there a girl around you could ask?

Come on, Lavon. I'm so excited.
The vet, Judson, that's his name-

Oh. We love Jud. He treats Burt Reynolds.

Not many vets make house calls
for alligators.

- Yeah, he seems kind of awesome.
- Ha, ha.

We didn't talk for long,
but he is handsome...

...he loves animals, and he's a doctor too.

And guess what.

- What?
- We're going to an actual restaurant.

I've never been on a first date
in a restaurant.

I'm sorry, what?

I should mention
I haven't been on a date in eight years.

Eight years?

How is that possible?

My ex-boyfriend and I
were together for six years.

And that was just a hookup
that turned into six years.

Oh, wow.

Hello.

Oh, my. What a nice dress.

Goodness. So sorry for your loss.
I presume you're off to a funeral.

Ahem. Mayor Hayes, we have a favor to ask.

- We all know you're busy.
- As are we.

So why don't we get this over with
so you can say no?

I like to hear a request before I refuse it.

Request is, will you do us the honor...

...of co-hosting the Junior League
Turtle Derby with Lemon?

Again, we know you have many civic
obligations and couldn't possibly, so...

It's an important town event for charity...

...and co-hosting with Lemon Breeland?

That sounds delightful.

My idea.

Dr. Hart.

Dr. Hart, hi. Well, hello there.

Hey, Tansy. How's that hangnail?

Oh. We both know
there was nothing wrong with me.

Just came by to check out this
electricity-hogging New York princess...

...Wade's been complaining about.
He is my husband, you know.

Yeah, so I've heard. Mazel tov.

Wade's a great guy.

Well, heh, ta-ta. My husband and I
have somewhere we need to be.

Hey, baby.
Hi.

- Ba-bam.
- Mwah.

We gonna do this or what? Ha, ha.
Yeah. Ha, ha.

We're getting a divorce.
Tucker, give us the papers.

Well, hello, Wade.

- Hey, Tansy.
Hey.

Let me just grab them real quick.

All right.

I'm assuming not much has changed
since I drew these up four years ago.

- Uh, still no children? Still no-?
- Money. Right.

Which is why we were hoping
you were working on commission.

Right, we'll just add it to your tab.

Can't believe we never got around
to signing it.

I did try like four times.
But you had that thing with your mom...

...and then vacation in Branson, so...

I've been swamped. But come on,
it hasn't been hard being married to me.

As far as wives go, I've been undemanding.

You have been pretty easy
on that whole fidelity thing.

Okay, so, um...

Before you sign the divorce papers...

...there's a question
I always ask my clients.

Are you sure that you have done
everything in your power...

...to save your marriage?

Well, I ain't seen her in a year,
we haven't slept together in three...

...so it's hard to say.

What do you think? One more roll in the hay
to make Tucker feel better?

- That's not necessary.
- Heh. I'm afraid my fianc?...

...might take issue with that.

Oh, right.
- Wait, did you-?

- Did she-? You're engaged?
- Yeah.

So trying to work things out now
would be awkward.

All right, then. I think it's time
the two of you sign those papers.

And for that you're gonna
charge us 100 bucks?

Come on, man.

Ooh, look, there's a Woody Allen Festival
in Mobile.

- Judson and I could go after dinner.
- Hate to break it to you...

...but people outside of L.A.
and New York don't really do Woody Allen.

Really? That's interesting.
I think I'll add it to my flash cards.

Why don't you like Woody Allen?

You gotta be kidding me.

What?

I make a list of potential date chitchat.
You don't do that?

"If you were on death row,
what would your last meal be?

Also, why are you on death row?"
You can't be serious.

How else am I to have
an interesting conversation?

If it's the right person,
conversation will flow.

I'm not really a flowy kind of person.

Of course you are.

I know you don't like to talk
about your boyfriend in New York...

Who dumped me in the lobby of a hospital
a week before I moved here?

- No, I do not.
- And I get that. I get that.

But let's just try and remember,
just for a second...

...what it felt like in those first days
of falling in love, so full of possibility.

- Yeah.
- I love Bill, but...

...sometimes I'd give anything
to have a magical first date again.

Sharing secrets, sharing dreams,
finding someone to share your soul.

All right. Divorced.

Finally.

Hey, just so you know,
you're the best wife I ever had.

- Ha, ha.
- Ha, ha. We did have some good times.

Remember that night
we made our own moonshine?

Oh.

I do recall we found some
pleasant ways to occupy our time.

Thanks for being such a good sport
about everything, Wade.

I have met a great guy.
And this time, no shrimp boat.

I'm gonna have the whole white veil,
garter, cake in the face, everything.

And this time,
I think it might actually stick.

Can't wait to meet him.

Um, yeah, about that.
Colt's a little jealous.

So I think you two
should probably not interact.

- Seriously?
- Thank you. You are the best.

Hey, baby.
Yeah.

Dang, you're a sexy creature.

Say it again.

Oh, hell no.

Hey. Remember when we were playing
Daphne High, I broke a rib...

...blocking that guy
who was about to put you in a wheelchair?

- I guess so?
- Good. You still owe me a favor.

- Where are those papers?
- Why?

Wade, I mean, what-?
What exactly is going-? Oh, okay.

I'm not getting divorced, that's what.

Thank you.

"Do you like your name, Judson?

Can I call you Jud?

Team Jacob or Team Edward?

Do you think it's okay
for doctors to wear shorts?"

- Hello?
- Judson. It's Zoe.

I've been thinking.
I don't feel well. I think I'm sick.

I'm a doctor. Actually, I know I'm sick.

I'm so sorry. I can't make it tonight.

Okay. Well, I hope you feel better.

Okay. Thank you.

I don't get it. I mean, I knew you were
nervous, but I thought you were excited.

You said he seemed awesome.

What part of "I don't wanna talk
about it" do you not understand?

I feel terrible. There's nothing I can do
about it now. Can we please forget it?

Okay, okay.

Hmm.

Poor Judson.

It's just plain mean.

It's just plain stupid.
She's not getting any younger.

Her child-bearing years are dwindling.

Zoe Hart, what is wrong with you?

The only good single man
in four counties and you stand him up?

Why? Why would you do that?

You know,
I probably should be getting to work.

Okay, so usually
we set up the track at the bar.

Yeah, well, usually
Lavon Hayes isn't the co-host.

I say we shake things up a bit.

- Okay.
- Okay?

Okay.

Wait, you're not gonna argue with me?

I wanna get through this meeting
as fast as possible.

I can't even believe you agreed
to co-host with me.

Lemon, come on.
I knew it was gonna bother you.

I just thought maybe you could see
that we could have some fun together.

I'm engaged.

I realize that.

And I also realize
that you and I are long over.

But we both live
in the same small town. We-

Afternoon, Mayor Hayes.

We gotta figure out a way to get along.

- You're right.
- So maybe we can be friends.

- I'd like that.
Yeah.

And what better way to start a friendship
than with a turtle race?

Oh, wait. You can be the first to meet...

...Slow Bob.

- You have a turtle?
Yeah.

Caught him running from Burt Reynolds.
He can really fly.

- I'm gonna put him in the race.
- Oh, no. No. Delia Ann's turtle...

...Margaret Mitchell,
has won for the last 18 years.

Because everybody throws the race for her.

Delia Ann is powerful.
She gets what she wants.

Well, I am Mayor Lavon Hayes.

And Slow Bob here is scrappy.

You can't discount scrappy. Ha, ha.

Tonight, things change.

Yeah, well, we'll see.

I'm gonna call it a day.

Well, you can't just go home and wallow.

And I won't.

My mother had a point.
I need to make a life here.

And maybe it needs to be a life
by myself right now.

So I'm gonna take myself on a date,
as an independent, self-reliant woman.

- Well, good for you.
- Mm-hm.

As soon as you give me a lift
to the bus stop.

Wade Kinsella,
have you gone certifiable?

- I take it you got my message.
- Yeah, I got your message.

You ripped up our divorce papers?
What is wrong with you?

You didn't tell me
that Colt was Todd Gainey Jr.

- You know him?
- Yeah.

His daddy and mine used to work
on the same fishing boat.

My daddy may be a drunk...

...but those Gainey boys
never let up making fun of him.

Todd was a bully then,
and I bet you he's bully now.

You can do better, that's all I'm saying.

That's why you did this?
Because I can do better?

I don't want you to be mad, Tans.
It's just...

I can't let you marry him.

You're such an idiot.

Hi, one ticket, please.

That's right, one. I'm here by myself.

Don't give me that pitying look.

Well, well, well.

Looks like BlueBell's fish out of water
decided to swim upstream to Mobile.

George. Um, what are you doing here?

Well, looks like we are the only
two Woody Allen fans...

...on the entire Eastern Shore. One, please.

Wow. Yeah. What a coincidence, huh?

Enjoy your movie. See you in BlueBell.

Oh. Or we could, uh, you know...

We could go in together. Ha, ha.

Yeah. Right, right.

Why not?

Okay. Ha, ha.

Yes, thank you.
My husband gave these to me, yes.

Ha, ha. Well, actually,
they've been in the family for 50 years.

Oh, you just go bye-bye
with that stuff. Hello.

Hello, everyone. I'm Lemon Breeland.

And I'm Mayor Lavon Hayes.

And welcome to the 20th annual
Junior League Black-Tie Turtle Derby.

Where the going gets slow
and the slow get going.

And I would like to offer
a special welcome to Delia Ann Lee...

...who dreamed up this beautiful event
over 20 years ago...

...and, in so doing, has preserved
the local turtle population.

- Now our mayor will explain the rules.
- We have four preliminary heats.

Winners move on
to race for the championship...

...and immortality
in the field of reptile athletics.

Now, a gentle reminder,
this is an honorable event.

Cheating will not be tolerated here.

May the best turtle win.

Wow.

I forgot how much that movie
is such a love letter to New York.

- Yeah.
- You must miss it a lot, huh?

Oh, my God. Every day. Do you?

No, I miss it sometimes.

But you don't get nights like this
in New York.

You don't get sky or stars.

You definitely don't get 75-degree heat
in October.

I can't believe I ran into you here. Alone.

Yeah, well, Lemon is not a fan
of Woody Allen, she's-

Especially not Manhattan, because
she's not a fan of the actual Manhattan.

Or Brooklyn. Or Queens.
Or anything to do with New York, really.

She's kind of anti-Statue of Liberty
on principle.

Well, she's definitely anti-this New Yorker.

- Heh. Yeah. I wish I could disagree.
- Mm-hm.

Anyway, she has the big turtle race tonight.

- What? Ha, ha.
- What?

You say things like that like it's normal.

I mean, why aren't you
at this fabulous reptile derby?

Let's just say I'm not a big fan of turtles.

Oh, so you two aren't
as perfectly matched as you seem?

- We have our differences.
- You know, you hardly know me.

- You don't have to tell me anything.
- No, no, no. It's all right.

We had a rough couple years
when I was in New York.

I kept on thinking she'd join me...

...and she kept thinking I'd come back.
At the end of the day, who was I kidding?

Because can you imagine
Lemon Breeland in New York City?

Uh- No. A few months ago,
I couldn't imagine Zoe Hart in Alabama.

I thought I was ready
to meet someone here, but-

Mm. Instead you called to cancel
while he sat alone in Fancie's.

- Good grief.
- What?

I panicked, okay?

- It doesn't make me a terrible person, does it?
- Eh.

- Man.
- Can I buy you a cup of coffee?

I'm sorry, did you say tall glass of wine?

Yes, please.

- Yeah. Go, Margaret Mitchell.
And number six...

...Snappy, looks to be making
a dramatic move on the outside rail.

Oh, whoops.
Snappy seems to have taken quite a tumble.

Snappy's on his back, struggling.

Come on, Snappy. Snappy?

Oh, he's back up.
Play through the pain, little dude. Ha, ha.

Go, Margaret Mitchell.
Go, Margaret Mitchell.

Oh, come on, Mitchell. Come on.

M.M., don't choke.

Don't choke, baby.
Remember what I told you.

I'm just gonna help her a little bit.

- Oh, yeah.
- Go.

In her jaunty red number 11...

...Delia Ann's Margaret Mitchell looks
as chic as she does speedy this evening.

Go, Margaret Mitchell, go!

Oh, wait, wait, what do we have here?

Number 17, Shelly Long,
seems to be overtaking Margaret Mitchell.

- Aw, come on, now. That's clearly-
- Within the rules.

A racing coach may correct
their racer's trajectory so long as...

...they don't push them
toward the finish line.

Go, Margaret. She's gonna do it.
There she is!

Margaret finished first!

Wow, what do you know?
Margaret Mitchell wins again.

Oh, just let it go, okay?

All right. Next up, we have Turtlelini,
Prince Caspian...

...and my very own Slow Bob. Ha, ha.

I was just so excited
for my date with Judson.

It was only supposed to be fun,
a new life experience.

But then Addy started talking to me
about what it's like to fall in love...

...and sharing your souls.

That's what it's supposed
to be about, right?

So then I saw Judson
through the window...

...and he looked so nice and so sweet,
like he could be a real thing.

Then I thought, why bother?

Why go on a first date when I don't know
how to be in a relationship?

Oh, come on, now.
I hardly believe that is true.

It is.

When my boyfriend broke up with me,
I didn't even really cry.

And we were together for six years.

- Six years?
- Mm-hm.

Wow. That's a long time.

Especially because...

...I'm not sure
that I ever even actually loved him.

Seriously?

I thought I did.

But we never had one night...

...like Diane Keaton and Woody Allen
in that movie.

One night when we magically connected,
bared our souls.

Six years...

...and I never really let him in.

I'm nearly 30 years old...

...and I have never been
in a real relationship.

Something is just wrong with me.

Zoe.

Zoe, you know, everyone is afraid
to make themselves vulnerable.

You know?

It's about baby steps, though.

And I'll tell you what...

...you did a pretty good job
of letting me in just now.

Maybe there's hope for you yet.

Hey, Tans. What are you doing here?

I think I know why you really
ripped up those divorce papers.

Because your fianc? is a Grade-D douche?

Or maybe you are not ready
to see me with someone else.

Maybe that's why we've both
put off the divorce so long.

Uh, I didn't put it off. You did.

Wade, look inside yourself,
look at your behavior.

Seems to me
you wanna give us another chance.

We were only together four months.

Because all we did was fight.
You hated my guts.

I loved you, you goon.

I was just never sure if you felt the same.

- Tans-
- But now...

...that I've seen the way you reacted
to me and Colt, well...

...I think I know how you feel.

Tansy, I think you misunderstood. I'm-

You and me,
we have always been electric together.

We just need to give in to the passion.

Get your hands off my fianc?e.

- Todd Gainey Jr.
Colt, honey, calm down.

I suggest you go back
where you came from, boy.

I don't think you're in any position
to make suggestions.

What you gonna do about it?

Thanks for taking me home.
It was much better than the bus.

It was my pleasure.

I had a really great time tonight.

- Me too.
Let's see, son of a bitch.

- What the hell was that?
Come on, Gainey.

What is going on?
- Hey, guys.

Uh, sorry,
now's not a real good time to hang.

This gentleman...

...claims he's gonna kill me now.

- We weren't doing nothing.
- Colt, let's just be reasonable here.

- What is that?
- A crossbow. What planet are you from?

Go ahead, Todd.
Go ahead, shoot me, I dare you.

- Are you insane?
- Wade, shut up. He will.

- Colt, I need you to think here.
- His name ain't Colt. It's Todd Gainey Jr.

If you need proof he's a degenerate,
look at him.

Do not listen to him. Look at me.

Colt.

Look at me. I'm a lawyer.

And I can tell you that what you are
about to do is commit a serious felony.

And I'm talking major jail time.

Now, whatever it is
that you think Wade has done...

- ... even if he did it-
- Which I didn't.

Shut up.
He's not worth it. It's not worth all that.

So why don't you just give me that thing?
Come on, Colt.

Just hand it over.

Hey, Tansy, don't be mad.

- I only did it because I love you.
- This guy.

- Next time try flowers.
- Seriously, you're joking now?

You're lucky you didn't shoot someone,
you lunatic.

George, the safety!

Gainey, you son of a bitch!

Oh, my God. Oh, it's in there.

Oh, my God.

- He's driving away.
- There's a thing in my leg.

There's an arrow in my-

In the final race, Boxy the box turtle
is still stuck in the wall.

Tortoise D'Force is walking backwards.

So Margaret Mitchell and my very own
Slow Bob are in a slow race to the finish.

- Go, Slow!
- Your turtle is moving too fast.

- Oh, he is scrappy, ain't he?
- Do something about it.

What? Are you asking me
to throw the race for you?

You know very well this is my event. I win.

And if the people help me, so be it.

- I won't do it.
Heh. Yes, you will.

You can't come here and change the way
this race has been going on for 20 years.

I should never have let those ladies
talk me into allowing you to host.

What?

Your arrogance and sanctimonious
attitude has no place here.

And if you aren't gonna do anything
about that turtle of yours, I will.

I am Delia Ann Lee, and I will win.

Oh.

Whoops.

Thank you.

Yeah, I haven't seen fire in you
like that in a long time.

So, folks, it's turtle neck to turtle neck.

- Go, Slow Bob, Go!
Go, Margaret Mitchell!

- No, no, no.
- No.

- Go, Slow Bob!
- Go, Slow Bob! Go!

Go! Come on.

Slow Bob! Yes, Slow Bob!

Yes! Yes!

- Addy, thanks for meeting me.
How's he doing?

Come on. Here we go.

Here, come on.
- Okay.

I'm just gonna lay down here
on this thing.

I cannot believe I shot myself
with a crossbow.

- I know how to handle a crossbow.
- Arrow missed his ego, good sign.

Give him the morphine. At least this time
it wasn't my fault you got injured.

Yeah, just a little warning
before any indescribable pain this time!

Whoops. It's easier when you don't know.

- Maybe we should call Brick.
- I can handle this mess.

Of course you'd be married to a psycho
with a crossbow-wielding fianc?.

It's not my fault
she got engaged to a lunatic.

He is not a lunatic, he's just jealous.

You were canoodling
with another man's girl.

- You don't know what you're talking about.
Shh!

I have an arrow in my leg.

All right, you two, out. Out.

As soon as I find Colt,
I'm gonna tell him about us.

Whoa, uh, Tans.
I think things got a little out of control.

What are you saying?

Were you about to kiss me or not?

Well, I was. But I shouldn't have been.

What's that supposed to mean?

Well, it just- It means...
Tansy, I don't feel the same way.

But doesn't mean
you should marry that psychopath.

He's a bully and a drunk...

...and if tonight doesn't prove that,
I don't know what to say.

You have no right to tell me
who I can and cannot marry.

Sure, Colt's not perfect. But he loves me.
He loves me enough to try to kill you.

At least I know that.

You know, I had fun tonight.

Me too. Heh.

Guess it turns out we can be friends.

Actually, Lemon, um...

...I don't think we can.

Why not?

Because I still love you.

Hello? Addy?

What?

Okay, thank you.

George is hurt.

I gotta go.

You're all set.

That's what you get for being
a knight in shining armor all the time.

Yeah, really.

Kind of seems to me that you're the one
always coming to my rescue.

I had a very nice time tonight.

You reminded me of a lot of things.

George. George, sweetheart.

- Are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm okay. I'm-

Honey, I'm fine.

Oh, my gosh.

I'm fine.

I'm okay. Hey.

I'm... I'm just fine.

Nice work.
- Thanks.

You okay?

Addy, you were right.

With the right person, it does just flow.

You can tell me now. I'm reasonably sober.

- I don't think I will, Rick.
- Why not?

After all, I got stuck with a railway
ticket. I think I'm entitled to know.

Last night,
I saw what has happened to you.

- The Rick I knew in Paris...
- You been here all night?

The one who looked at me
with such hatred...

- What you watching?
- Casablanca.

It's so sad.

Why is it that the ones we want
are always the ones we can't have?

I don't know.

All I know is we can't give up.

Love is worth fighting for.

Yeah.

Hey.

- Hi.
Glad you're here.

Listen, uh...

I didn't mean to lead you on.

Not last night
and not when we were together.

I care about you, Tans.

You can do way better than me.

Certainly do way better than Todd Gainey Jr.

- Colt is kind of a douche.
- Yeah.

I told him it's over.

You're gonna find someone amazing,
you know?

And you're gonna have the big wedding
and the cake, everything.

You deserve to be happy.

I'll have George redraw the papers.

But, Wade, you deserve to be happy too.

- Move on from Zoe Hart.
- Heh.

A girl like that is never ever
gonna end up with someone like you.

It's her loss, but it's the truth.

I don't know what you're talking about.
Zoe Hart drives me crazy.

Yeah, you used to drive me crazy too.

How you feeling, sweetheart?

Heh. Well, uh...

...kind of stupid, actually.

I mean, I still can't believe I got shot
in the leg by a dropped crossbow.

It's not even a tough story.

How'd you even end up at Wade's
in the first place?

I, uh, was driving home from the movies
and I heard someone screaming.

Well, they were lucky to have you.

I don't know about that. Heh.

- How were the turtle races?
- Oh.

Ahh, believe me, honey...

...you would've hated it.

So how's the marriage going?

Heh. Yeah, we're divorced now.

Gotta say, seems like that's for the best.

Ooh, you might wanna sneak out the back.

No. I freaked out.
I didn't give Judson a chance.

But he's here and he's single
and a real possibility.

He could be awesome. Baby steps.

Hi.

Hi.

I wanted to apologize again
for the other night.

I panicked. I was nervous.

I'm usually not that crazy.

Can I buy you a drink to make up for it?

It's 10 a. m.

Right. Right, right.

Yeah. A cup of coffee?
Oh. We could go to the bakery.

Have you had Agnes' sweet tea?
I hear it's a real Southern staple.

You know what?

I'd love to.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Great.
- Let's go.

Okay.

Oh, after you.
Oh, thank you.