Hart of Dixie (2011–2015): Season 1, Episode 9 - The Pirate & The Practice - full transcript

Harley Wilkes was your father.
He left you his practice.

You're the mayor?
Lavon Hayes, the linebacker.

You share a generator with Wade.

I don't want you getting any ideas.

- Aah!
- Notice whenever I come around, there's sparks?

How dare you see my patients?

Harley left half of the practice to me.

I'm not gonna share this office.

If one partner doesn't bring in
30 percent of the revenue every quarter...

...the other partner can buy him or her out.

I'm good at what I do.
As soon as this town figures that out...



...it'll be just fine.

Mom, you'll have a car meeting me
at the airport tonight?

Fantastic.

Four whole days in New York.

I am telling you, I have earned it. Yeah.

I finally got my 30 percent
of patients at the practice.

Now I can relax and have Thanksgiving
the way it was intended.

Jean Georges is catering, right?

Thank God. Heh.

I am craving elegance and refinement.

The BlueBellians are probably
reenacting the Pilgrims and Indians...

...corn-trading and giving-thanks crap.

Or not.

Mom, see you tonight. Bye.



I just saw the weirdest thing.

- Shiver me timbers.
- Oh, hey. Hardtack?

I knew this day would come.

You softened me up
with heat waves and blue people.

- But I'm not falling for this.
This is no joke.

This is one of this town's
most revered traditions.

Early settlers were doing
Thanksgiving things.

- Shelling peas, brining turkey...
- Watching football.

No, no.
Getting ready to give thanks and chow down.

- When whoosh.
- Big-ass hurricane.

- Washes everything away.
- Gone.

Crops, houses, stores, all out to sea,
but it washes some pirates in.

- Pirates?
- Yes, pirates.

Instead of pillaging, these pirates saw
the struggling people of BlueBell.

Gave them food and supplies
to get back on their feet.

That's why 200 years later,
instead of folks having turkeys at home...

...we honor those pirates by dressing up...

...and having a big fish fry
in the town square.

Which we call:

- Planksgiving.
- Bam.

That is the single stupidest thing
I've heard since I moved here.

And I hear Wade talking to his dates
every night on his porch.

- Hey.
- I'm sure that your little fish fry...

...is filled with as much adorableness
as it is cholesterol.

But now I am doubly happy
to be flying to New York...

...to eat turkey with my mom.

Wade, enjoy your holiday.

Lavon, see you later.
Change before you take me to the airport.

You didn't tell me
Zoe was going away for the holidays.

- I thought I did.
- You didn't.

Means I can try my new amp out.

She's always complaining how
I'm blowing out the power and all.

Speaking of which, I need a favor.

Bought a new fuse box. Need you
to help me to install it while Zoe's away.

I am sick and tired of hearing y'all
squabble over electricity all the time.

That's a great idea. We need it.

But, uh, you're gonna have to find
somebody else to install it.

- What are you talking about?
- I don't do electrical, you know.

Car engines, carpentry, absolutely...

...but, uh, you know,
electrical just ain't my thing.

I'm sorry, but another time.

All right.
All right, you take it easy, Lavon.

- Avast, fair maiden.
- Oh, God.

Come with me
and we will sail the seven seas.

Honestly, George...

...I don't have time to play pirate.
Your parents are coming.

Oh, but it's Planksgiving.

And I plan on plundering me
some pirate booty.

Mm-hm.

Okay, well, I would gladly let you
pillage me all day, Pirate Tucker...

...but I have to clean
and go to the store...

...because for some reason, your parents
decided to crash our holiday.

Okay. Well, I mean,
you don't gotta dust the outlets.

Is that hat on too tight?
Your mother hates me.

The last time I saw her,
I had a breakdown at Fancie's.

Look, if it makes you feel any better,
my mom also hates Oprah...

...and Reese Witherspoon
and springtime...

- ... and the U.S. women's soccer team.
- Okay, so you admit it, she hates me.

Baby, all that matters is...

...I think you are perfect
just the way you arr.

- Yep, 11.
- Well, now, count them again.

Brick, I already counted three times.
Face it.

Zoe got her 30 percent for this quarter.

That's impossible because on Monday,
she was three patients shy.

True. But then all four MacKenzie brothers
got into a bar fight.

Zoe stitched them up. Afterwards,
they asked Zoe to do their follow-up.

You know the rules. They request Zoe,
she's counted as their doctor.

You're telling me that
the MacKenzie brothers, my patients...

...specifically requested Zoe Hart
to treat them?

Now, why in the hell would they do that?

That explains it.

I am getting a cup of coffee.

I take it he knows about my 30 percent?

Mm. I didn't think you could do it.
You've come a long way, missy.

The quarter's over,
and my father's legacy is intact.

I'm going to New York, where Zoe Hart
can be a fish in her own polluted water.

- Hey, Addy, is Brick in?
- Oh, he just stepped out...

...but I have his partner, Dr. Hart.

Guess you'll have to do. Heh.

Well, isn't that sweet?
What brings you in today?

Caleb has been complaining
of itchiness for the last two days.

Me name be Small Cal No Beard.

Of course it is.

Right this way.

Six more hours.

Six more hours, six more hours...

- Hey, Lemon Meringue Pie.
Hi, Daddy.

Hey, can your old dad
buy you a cup of coffee?

Oh. I'm sorry. I'm running late.

I gotta buy those onions
the Tuckers like in their martinis.

If they don't have their teeny tiny onions,
then the whole Earth...

- ... is gonna spin off its axis.
- Ah, the Tuckers.

Your sister's so scared, she hightailed it
to the Richmans' for the weekend.

At least we only have to put up with them
a couple times a year.

Unlike a certain New York City doctor
who is a thorn on my backside...

- ... on a daily basis.
- I thought you were getting along better.

That girl still does not get
what it is to be a GP.

I mean, what it's like...

...to spend 30 years with a family,
watching them change and grow.

No, she swishes her little hips
and steals my patients.

Oh, Daddy, I just- Oh.
I wish there was a spell...

...that we could use to
just blow Zoe Hart...

- ... right on out of this town.
Yeah.

Maybe she'd take the Tuckers along with her.

Olive? A word, please.

Um, you know, sweetheart, sometimes
I think we gotta make our own spells.

Um, I'll talk to you.

Olive? I just wanted to tell you something.

Seems to be mostly in his legs.

Let's see. Have you changed
laundry detergent?

- Bought new sheets?
- No.

- What have you been up to lately?
Pillaging.

Sailing the seven seas,
looking for treasure.

He really loves Planksgiving.

Well, he's a kid, he probably just
rolled around in some plant life.

Hornswoggle.
There be no plants at sea, wench.

Huh. That's Dr. Wench to you, kid.

He doesn't have a rash
and his vitals are normal.

I don't see any other symptoms.

He's probably just having
a mild allergic reaction to something.

- Antihistamines should take care of it.
- Thanks so much. We appreciate it.

One more patient to add to my pile.

Can you see if I can get an earlier flight?
I don't see why I couldn't make it.

Okay, Tommy, all medical records
transferred back to Dr. Breeland.

Yes, your brothers already called.

All MacKenzies back to Dr. Breeland.
Bye, now.

- MacKenzies? My MacKenzies?
- Oh, no, they're my MacKenzies.

See, I just happened to bump
into Tommy MacKenzie's wife, Olive.

Funny thing is, Olive had never heard
that her husband switched over...

...to the pretty lady doctor
in the short shorts.

Heh. Brick, you've got to be kidding me.

I knew you wouldn't be happy
I got my 30 percent.

I didn't think you'd poach my patients.

- You did it first.
- Oh, I most certainly did-

- Yes, you did.
- Oh, no, I did not.

I treated them because they asked to see me.

I tell you what. You can have them
if you can name all four brothers.

Fine. MacKenzie, comma, Tommy.

MacKenzie, comma, Logan.

MacKenzie...

MacKenzie...
The other two didn't speak that much.

Well, you go on up to New York.
Have a good time.

And I'll just stay here and buy you out.

Oh.

Enjoy your Thanksgiving.

Okay. How many more patients
do I need to make 30 percent?

You got Captain No Beard this morning.
That puts you three shy.

I have a couple hours before my flight.

- You can get three patients by midnight?
- Not playing by the book, no.

I was awfully surprised to see y'all
come down here for Planksgiving.

Thought we'd mix things up.

In fact, we've learned to embrace
a new tradition in Montgomery.

It's called Thanksgiving.

We brought a turkey with all the trimmings.

Lemon, you and I can wake up early
and get started.

I could see how your cooking's
coming along.

Yay. I have always wanted to make
a real Thanksgiving dinner.

From scratch. For hours and hours.

Mom, thank you so much. Very nice of you.

But our tradition is Planksgiving.

George, you can have
your little fish fry next year.

This dinner is our chance to celebrate.

- Celebrate what?
- Your brother Harry...

Is going to run for the state legislature.

Well, that's- I mean, that's great.
- How exciting. Ha, ha.

That's- Yeah, that's great.
- A politician in the family.

That means Harry's gonna have
to resign from the law firm.

Leaving his position open.

Look, Dad, we've talked about this, okay?

I already left once to do corporate law.
It wasn't my thing for many reasons.

I am not leaving BlueBell again. Period.

But that's the best part.

Your father convinced his partners
to let you work from BlueBell.

You'd only be in Montgomery
three days a week.

This firm has housing you can use.

Well, Lemon, that means that
you'll have to join him on those days.

Oh, three days a week? With you?

That's just... Wow.

Okay, a hundred dollars
for the first person...

...to make a doctor's appointment
with me right now.

Come on.

Zoe, I'm sorry, but, um,
Brick is our doctor.

And we are a loyal bunch.

Shelley.

Shell. Shellster.

Shellareno.

I'm sorry, Zoe. I really am.
I think you're great. I really do.

It's just that I saw Brick for a checkup
right before you got here.

- I feel great.
- You had a headache the other day.

It went away with two aspirins.

You know, there was this case
of this guy with a headache.

Turns out he had a whole set of teeth
growing behind his eyeballs.

All right. Meet you at your office
in a couple minutes.

Hey, Tom.

- Tommy.
Oh, no, no, no.

My mom will kill me if I see a doctor
other than Dr. Breeland.

- He delivered me.
Come on, Tom.

I need new patients today.

- If you be my girlfriend for a month.
- Okay.

No. All right.
An ounce of realism, please, Tom.

Show me your boobs?

One boob?

How about you come with me right now...

...and I won't tell your mother
what you just asked me to do?

- Deal.
- Yeah.

I cannot believe that we agreed
to do Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow.

Even if it does get done by 7,
we're gonna miss the plank-walking contest.

Plank-walking? Really, George?

That was your big takeaway from lunch?

Why, Lemon Breeland,
don't you know me at all?

I'm not taking that job.
My dad doesn't even respect me.

The only reason he wants me
is because Harry left.

And he wants to retain voting majority
with his partners. Heh.

No. I have absolutely no intention
whatsoever of giving up my practice.

Oh. Oh, my God.
George, I love you so much right now.

- I was freaking out. Oh.
- I know. Ha, ha.

Okay, you know what? We will just
pretend like we thought about it.

And after their Thanksgiving,
we will just tell them no.

Exactly. And then we can celebrate
this day like it's meant to be.

With a fish fry, ruffled shirts,
and eye patches.

- Arr.
- Arr.

Oh. Oh, there you two are.

Oh, I was just on my way
to buy a few things for tomorrow.

- Lemon, would you like to come?
- Of course.

Shopping with you, Clora,
is there anything better?

Hey-o.

- What are you working on?
- It's my grandmom's.

Trying to fix it so I can give it back
to her for her birthday.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Look, you got your capacitors all wrong here.

Check me out. Okay.

- No polarity.
Mm-hm.

Yes polarity.

See, you put that in wrong,
when you plug it in, it will explode.

No more Grandmama's radio,
no more fingers.

- Gotcha.
- What?

This radio was a Wade trap...

...and you stuck your big paw in it.
Now you're mine.

- I don't know what you're talking about.
- You lied. You can do electrical work.

So?

Maybe I didn't feel like installing
your new fuse box.

- So what?
- Exactly. Question is why?

After all, every time it blows, Zoe comes
stomping over and yells at you.

But you know what
Lavon Hayes figured out?

That only crackpots talk in
the third person.

No. Lavon Hayes figured out
you like Zoe coming over...

...which means you like Zoe.

Look, if by "like" you mean I'd do her?
Sure, you got me. I'd do her.

- But I'm not that picky.
- Mm-mm. Mm-mm.

By "like" I mean you love her. Heh.

Hey.

You are in big trouble.
You know what just I realized?

You made a doctor's appointment.
And then you cancelled it.

At least this guy had the good sense
to need stitches.

I had a sore throat. It went away.
What's the big deal?

Cancelled patients don't count.

Brick is about to take over the practice.
I need patients.

Zoe, I'd like to help you out,
but thing is, there's nothing bothering me.

I don't wanna be unethical.
I'm the mayor of this town.

- Ow.
Ha, ha.

Now something's bothering you.
Just stop in, then we'll go to the airport.

Oh, yeah, Lavon.

Mm. She's a real catch.

That's three patients,
which brings me to 30 percent...

...which also means
"Ha-ha-ha, Brick Breeland. "

If anyone needs me, I'll be at Barney's.

- Lavon, let's go.
- Not so fast.

They just came in
and they specifically asked...

...for someone who was not you.

So I wouldn't head to that airport quite yet.
You're still one shy.

Caleb, are you okay?

Me pirate fingers be aching.

Dr. Hart, your services are not needed here.

- Let me help. Caleb is my patient.
- He was your patient.

Exactly. Allergic reaction, my foot.

He wasn't in pain this morning. That's new.

Let me examine him.

Dr. Hart, you should see me about
having that wax cleaned out of your ears.

He is not your patient anymore. Now go.

Please go.

What are his other symptoms?

Joint pain and itchiness are all we got.

Blood panel including CBC,
chem 7, and tox-screen?

Mm.

- Brick has no idea what Caleb has.
- Nope.

So if I diagnose him first, then maybe
his mother will rename me as his doctor.

You'd also have the satisfaction
of treating a sick kid.

That too.

Shady, I gotta tell you. I am surprised
that you wanna sell the store.

I mean, Nate's Hardware
has been in your family for forever.

And this price, I mean,
I gotta say, no offense...

...but it's a little low, don't you think?

Yeah, but, uh, you know,
it's about a life change, George.

I've been tied to my great-grandpa's store
for way too long now...

...and my family and I,
we're just ready to move on.

- Are you leaving BlueBell?
- Let's face it, George.

There's bigger and better
out there in this world.

And I intend to find it.

Wow.

Well, okay.
I will draw up the paperwork for you.

- And I'll see you, say, this afternoon.
- All right.

- Thank you much, George.
- You're welcome.

How you doing?
Afternoon.

Real estate deals?

A paralegal could handle that.
Hell, a secretary could.

Yeah. Well, I don't mind it.

It's a waste of time that could be used
doing things of value.

That's the beauty of working
with a large firm, resources.

- Yeah.
- Secretary is at the beauty salon.

- Ah.
- It's a standing appointment.

George Tucker.

Okay. Itching and joint pain
could indicate a hundred different things.

- Did Caleb give any other clues?
- Only about marauding and swashbuckling.

Well, the kid's clearly weird.
Maybe there's a clue in that.

He's not weird. He's 10, Zoe.

- This is how 10-year-old boys behave.
- And 10-year-olds are weird.

That's how I nearly failed my peds rotation.

I need more information.
I need eyes and ears in that room.

Hey. This is a great magazine.

Who knew electrophysiologists shop
for bulk toilet paper? Just like us.

- Oh. We need to get to the airport.
- Lavon.

How much do you love me?

Why?

Oh, hey, this isn't the bathroom.

What's up, Captain No Beard? Ha, ha.

There's something very soothing
about shelling peas, isn't there?

Reminds me of a simpler time.

A time when family meant everything.

You know, you and I
are going to be family very soon.

So I think it's time
we had a frank conversation.

Whatever about, Clora?

Lemon, you don't have to pretend.

We both know that things
aren't right between us.

We've gotten off on the wrong foot...

...and I'm big enough to admit
that's all my fault.

I had a practice in BlueBell too, son.

I know that small-town law
can get a little, uh, small.

Yeah. I mean, Lovey Swann
over at the library...

...is having me sue Parker Mason
over an overdue library book.

But, Dad, come on.
You know I love helping out my community.

You could still help them.

With a big firm behind you,
you could make real changes.

Class actions, defense teams.

Lemon, I get it. Why in the world
would you let George take this job?

You don't want him around us
because you don't wanna be around us.

I mean, you have been
a tad bit critical of me.

I've been a judgmental hag.

I know what kind of lawyer you are.

More importantly,
I know what kind of man you are.

Crazy part is, I always wanted a girl.
But instead, just boys.

And here you are,
the daughter I always wanted...

...and instead of embracing you,
I turn my back.

Truth is, your brother doesn't have
half your smarts or half your heart.

I need you at my firm, son.

George, I need you.

Lemon, I know you've missed
having a mother in your life.

And I wanna be that for you.

- Well?
- I heard coughing...

- ... and Caleb said he was dizzy.
- Anything else? Anything at all?

Uh...

He was scratching behind his ear a lot.

Huh.

Maybe he finally does have a rash.
Could you go look at it?

Are you crazy?

The mayor of BlueBell
can't be creeping around exam rooms.

And how many times
can I lose my way to the bathroom?

Oh, for Pete's sake.

- Hey, babe. I was just gonna call you.
Hi.

Listen, I've been thinking.
I know it isn't what we discussed...

...but maybe we should consider
your father's offer.

That's funny, because I was thinking
the exact same thing.

I mean, turns out my dad
really does want me there and-

It's a great career opportunity.

Plus, your mother and I
have had a breakthrough.

Really? Wow.

So we're really doing this?

I think we are, Senior Associate Tucker.

So? Did you see the rash?

No rash. It was just salt residue.
We're back to square one.

Why would Caleb have salt behind his ear?

Like salt water, residue you get
from swimming in the ocean.

So Caleb has been swimming in the bay.

Maybe there's something in that.
Itching, joint pain.

Ocean.

- Zoe, you okay?
- I know what's wrong with Caleb.

Call an ambulance.

- You've been scuba diving?
Are you out of your mind?

Caleb is only 10 years old.
He doesn't even know how to scuba dive.

He said he was sailing the seven seas,
looking for treasure.

Well, he also told me
he made his principal walk the plank.

Maybe we should dredge the bay
for Mr. Babcock.

- Caleb.
- Me name be Captain Cal No Beard.

Fine. Captain No Beard,
you have to tell the truth right now.

If you've been diving,
you're only gonna get sicker.

How dare you scare him? He's just a boy.

You are out of this room.
Out of this practice.

- Me hast been diving.
What do you mean?

- You don't know how to scuba dive.
- Me brother Nate taught me.

Me robbed him of his suit...

...and took to the bay.

Nate has scuba gear
because he's 17 and taken lessons.

- Caleb, what were you thinking?
Becky.

Caleb has decompression sickness.

It's what divers call the bends.
We have an ambulance coming.

He needs to get to a hyperbaric chamber.
I know it sounds scary.

As long as we take care of it quickly,
he'll be fine.

When he comes back,
he'll come in for a follow-up with me.

See, Crickett,
it was all just a big misunderstanding.

Like she was a mama lion
protecting her cub.

Montgomery? But I still can't believe
you're gonna be bicitial.

Ha, ha. Crickett,
that's not even a word, sweetie.

- But BlueBell will always be my home.
- But what about your civic duties?

- How are we gonna get on without you?
- Oh, well, you will just have to forge on.

Oh, if you'll excuse me...

...I have to go help my future in-laws
shop for Thanksgiving.

I can't believe George caved so quickly.
Nice work today.

Well, I knew Lemon was key
to getting him onboard.

Mm-hm.

Of course, I practically had to promise
to breast-feed her...

...to get her over on our side.

Ooh.

You know, Shady, you coming in earlier...

...you sort of inspired me
to make a change too.

Oh, yeah? How's that?

Well, I...
I'm gonna close up shop here...

...and I'm gonna go join a larger firm.

Well, congratulations, George. That's-

- That's great.
- Is everything okay, Shady?

Of course.

Hello?

- I'll be right there.
- Wait, Shady, what-? Shady.

Come on.

Turn around.

Thought you were taking Zoe
to the airport.

She had a last-minute medical emergency.

She got a later flight.
Said she'll call when she's ready.

You know, I've been thinking.
If you did like Zoe-

- I don't. All right?
- Uh-huh.

So my idea?

You take her. Tell her how you feel
right before she gets on the plane.

Now, if she feels the same,
you have yourself...

...a nice, romantic, airport goodbye kiss.

If she doesn't, she gets on the plane.
No one has to talk about it.

I don't like her, okay?

Mm-hm.

Now, if you please.

Flight leaves at 8.

Mm.

There you two are. I made a reservation
for us at Fancie's in a half an hour.

- Harold, a martini?
- Sounds good to me.

Great. Oh, and I got
that Gouda you like, Mama.

It is okay if I call you Mama, right?

- Shady.
- Caleb.

- Are you okay?
- I'm sorry.

Why were you scuba diving?
- I wanted to find the pirate treasure.

What pirate treasure?

From the ship in the Planksgiving story.

Thought if I could find it,
you wouldn't have to sell the store.

We wouldn't have to move in
with Aunt Glenese...

...and you wouldn't have to go away
to look for work. We could stay a family.

- Why?
- I didn't want anyone to know, all right?

Everyone's been buying their supplies
off the Internet lately.

Son, I appreciate what you tried to do,
but there isn't any pirate treasure.

It's just some story
somebody made up a long time ago.

We should go.

Wait.

I don't want it anymore.

If there's no treasure, I can't help them.

I just wanted my family to stay together.

Hey. We going to the airport or what?

A 10-year-old with the bends.

- I can't believe it.
- No, you can't blame yourself.

Me, on the other hand. Shady Hilson
wanting to sell his hardware store?

- I should've known better.
- You never could've known.

- Neither of us could have.
- We have to figure out a way to help them.

I completely agree.

What happened to Lavon?

Uh, yeah, well, I happened to be going
to the airport anyway.

So- I do that sometimes
to visit my buddy...

...the, uh, bag guy.

So it's not a special trip or anything.

Kids. They get so caught up
in stories and fantasies.

You feel like a jerk
when their little hearts get broken.

Really don't know what you're talking about.

So the airport?

Give us a ride to the Breeland house?

We got a lot of work.
Every minute's gonna count.

- Uh, actually, we-
- Yeah, sure. Hop in.

Thanks.

- Watch it.
Sorry.

All right. Thank you. Ah.

- Welcome aboard.
- Okay.

You know, Mama, Dad, I've been thinking.

George and I don't need our own place
in Montgomery.

We can just stay with you.
Won't that be so cozy?

- Of course, dear.
- We can play charades every night.

I just love charades, don't you?

Wait, guess this one:

Sure hope we're not late to the airport.

Somebody's got a plane to catch.

You know, we should call the town council.

They gotta have some jobs for Nate.

You are gonna help Caleb and his family?

You're more than welcome to join us.

No. My mom's expecting me.
I already saved the kid's life.

Got him to the hospital.
What more could I do?

My business card says "doctor"
and George's says "lawyer. "

Those titles don't begin to explain what
people like us mean to the community.

BlueBell counts on us.

What are you gonna do?
Find the Hilsons some Planksgiving treasure?

Heh. You don't get it.
You know, years ago...

...when BlueBell was leveled
by that hurricane...

...people lost everything.
Most of all, they lost hope.

They were talking about moving out,
deserting the town, and starting over.

But the town's founder,
Cyrus Lavinius Jeremiah Jones...

...you know, he got together
with some of the town leaders.

They spent the whole night fishing.

And the next morning,
there was food for everyone.

Yeah. Then when people asked him,
"Where'd it all come from?"

That's when Cyrus made up that story
about friendly pirates.

I knew there weren't pirates.

Yeah, no pirates.
Just neighbor helping neighbor.

That's what got BlueBell
back up on its feet then.

After Katrina, after whatever came
to try and knock her down.

You know what?
Like, the costumes, the pirate stuff?

That's all just meant to be fun.

This holiday is really about community.

Amen.

Dad?
- Mm-hm?

Do you play tennis?
- Why do you ask?

We should join a doubles tennis league.

I don't know how to play.
But I was hoping you could teach me.

Ha, ha. Wouldn't that be a kick?

- Hey, y'all.
Oh, there you two are.

We have reservations
for our celebration dinner in 10 minutes.

I'm sorry to have to do this.
Y'all have to go without us.

Got a client who needs help.

- Client? You're working for me now.
- Did you not hear?

- Someone needs his help.
Look, Dad.

This is really important, okay?
Y'all have to go without us tonight.

We'll see you back here in the morning?
Okay. You okay, babe?

Mm-hm.

Oh, that is just perfect.

More time together.

You better get used to me.
You and I are gonna be inseparable.

So finally.

Here we are.

You and me.

On our way to the airport. Yes, sir.

Mom, hey,
call me when you get this message.

There's been a change of plans. Bye.

Wade, take me to the plantation.

- But the airport.
- I need to talk to Lavon.

George and Brick are helping the business.
I need to help Caleb.

Hey, it's okay. You'll just have to go
to the airport without me.

Last one. Whew.

No sleep, but I think it was worth it.

Yeah. Nice touch with that signet ring.
Ha, ha.

Good morning, Clora, Harold. Come on in.

Ah.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't we
agree to have Thanksgiving today?

- I've prepared a meal.
- I know.

I'm really sorry,
but something important came up.

It turns out that Shady Hilson
was gonna close his hardware shop.

So Brick and I spent the whole night
calling all over town looking for help.

And, well, you see these?

All pledges to buy exclusively
from Nate's Hardware.

Enough to keep them up
and running for a long time.

Lawyers don't beg for money,
especially on behalf of a man...

...too stupid to manage his own finances.

Whoa. I'm not sure you heard.

There are a lot of good folks
struggling these days.

Since when did helping your neighbor
turn into a character flaw?

Well, to be a good lawyer...

...you have to learn to separate
personal from professional.

And my son is occasionally
too softhearted for his own good.

What exactly are you proud
of me for, Dad? Huh?

George, calm down.

It's very hard to take you seriously
when you're in that ridiculous getup.

- Mm.
Oh, there are you are, Mama.

I have an extra costume
picked out just for you.

- We can be mother-daughter pirates.
- I am not wearing a pirate costume.

- And we are eating Thanksgiving dinner.
- Oh, didn't George tell you?

Plans have changed, and you would
look so cute in an eye patch, Mama.

For the love of God, stop calling me that!

How my George came from your loins,
I have no earthly idea.

- How dare you?
- How dare I?

My mother may not be around,
but I am not desperate enough...

...to replace her
with a conniving witch like you.

Using a person's vulnerabilities
to manipulate them.

It's- It's downright unchristian.

- Watch your mouth, young lady.
- And you.

If you can't be proud of George, who is
the most decent and honorable man...

...that I have ever met, then both of you
can go to H-E-double-hockey-sticks.

I should've known that this was
about what the two of you wanted...

...because it always is.

Dad, I officially decline your offer.

Oh, uh...

Happy Planksgiving.

SINGERS
Yeah

Yeah

I like to hold your hand up high
On the Ferris wheel

And how front-porch swingin' with you
Makes me feel

Yeah

Come on, honey, you need to eat something.

I'm not hungry.

Hey, the peg leg race is coming up.
Maybe we should enter?

Can we just go home now?

Sure, buddy. Let's go.

SINGERS
Crankin' up Waylon, Willie and Merle

Avast, ye mateys. Methinks the Hilsons
are trying to make a fast getaway.

- Oh, I think you're right there, captain.
- I'm sorry, folks...

...but Caleb's wanting to go home.

Well, I think we'd like you to stay.

As a matter of fact,
we'd like you to stay permanently.

A contract for the new gym
at the high school.

For the town-hall renovation.

There's more than enough
to make things right.

BlueBell is behind you, Shady,
one hundred percent.

Ahoy!
- Uh, actually, it's avast.

I'm a Jewish pirate. Ahoy!

I'm looking for a pirate
named Captain No Beard.

- Hi, Dr. Hart.
- Oh, hello there.

I found this hidden near my carriage house.

- Thought you could decipher it.
- A treasure map?

One, two, three, four.

But when you pull up in your big old truck

I can't climb up in it fast enough

'Cause I'm a shotgun girl along for the ride

Yeah, dashboard drummer on a Saturday night

Caleb, I guess you were right.

There is treasure right here in BlueBell.

Me name be Small Cal No Beard.

Ha, ha.
- Ooh.

But my friends just call me captain.

Come here, captain.

I've never been more proud of you, George.

- Sure you don't regret saying no to your dad?
- Corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen.

I couldn't help but thinking about BlueBell
and what would happen if I closed shop here.

I mean, these people are more
than my neighbors, you know?

They're my friends.

And I could not leave them if I wanted to.

SINGER
'Cause I'm the rebel child

- Where'd you go last night?
- Where else? The airport.

Still stuffed from all those cinnamon rolls.

SINGER
Yeah, I'm the rebel child

And, baby, I'm just livin' out my dream

Thought you were leaving.

I just want you to know, George,
that I was trying to help you.

Heh.
- Towns like BlueBell are dying off.

Soon, you won't have
any more little guys to help.

Well, you know what?
I think we'll be just fine.

I wouldn't be so sure.

My firm represents
a certain big-chain megastore.

They're securing land outside of town.

I was hoping a man inside BlueBell...

...might help facilitate dealings
with the townspeople.

You were gonna use me?

Face it. The world is changing.
Change with it.

Did you really think
that your little hardware store...

...is gonna be able
to compete with a mega chain?

SINGER
Hey, 'cause I'm a rebel child

Dr. Hart.

You did real good today.

Thank you. It feels good.

Well, enjoy that feeling
because the new quarter starts today.

SINGER
Oh, yeah

Baby, I'm just livin' out my dream