Happy Days (1974–1984): Season 3, Episode 19 - Fonzie the Superstar - full transcript

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend
comes, my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Happy and free ♪
♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Share them with me ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray
sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can
hold me when I hold you ♪



♪ It feels so right,
it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and
rolling all week long ♪

(saxophone solo plays
over rhythmic handclaps)

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Share them with me ♪
♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Happy and free ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are
yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪



♪ Movin' and a-groovin',
rockin' and a rollin'... ♪

Happy Days is filmed
before a live audience.

Okay, where's Potsie?

We have to rehearse.

He was supposed to be
here a half an hour ago.

Hey.

Cunningham, I've
been looking for you.

Listen, I'm going out of
town a few days, you know?

If you see some girls
hanging around my door,

get their number, tell
them to wait by that phone.

All right. Where
you going, Fonz?

Huh? Where you going?

I'm going to the
Powder Puff Derby.

(laughs): You in the
Powder Puff Derby?

Yeah. That's for girls.

Oh, it's for guys, too, huh?

That's right.

Yeah, Pinky Tuscadero is racing.

I'm going to be in her pit crew.

You're going to
change her tires, Fonz?

I'm going to spark
her plugs, Ralph.

Sit down. All right.

Hey, are you going to be
able to make it back in time

to see our band
play at the dance?

Would I miss that for the world?

Am I not your biggest fan, huh?

Yeah. Yeah. Have
you seen Pots around?

Oh, yeah, he's in the
parking lot doing weird things.

Weird things?

Yeah, he's walking in circles,

mumbling to himself.

What's he mumbling about?

How should I know?

I don't listen to him
when he talks normal.

All right, and as for
me, Pinky awaits, huh?

I'll catch you guys later.

All right, Fonz.
All right, Fonz.

Ah, see you, Fonz.

Whoa!

Now that is what
I call decoration.

Potsie mumbling?

Of course. He's got
something bad to tell us,

and he's afraid to come in.

Why do you always
jump to conclusions?

Because you can't
count on him for anything.

He's such a Potsie.

See, look at him. Watch...
he's got a sore throat

and won't be able
to sing. You'll see.

Hi, guys. Yeah, hey, Pots.
Are you ready to rehearse?

Oh sure, I'm ready to rehearse.

Yeah, good. You see?
But I got a problem.

Look out! What did I tell
you? You can't count on him.

I can't help it. It's
my rich uncle Wilbur.

He wants me to go to his
alma mater, Notre Dame,

and my dad doesn't
want to offend him,

so they're dragging me up
to the campus this weekend.

What are we going to do?

We have to play the
dance Saturday night,

and we have no singer!

Yeah, well, don't
tell Arnold about it.

I don't want to lose this, job.

I'm counting on my
share of the money.

I already spent my share.

Shame on you, Potsie.

What do you mean,
"Shame on you, Potsie?"

(all arguing at once)

Hold it!

Okay. Why, uh... Why
don't no rehearsing?

Arnold's should be alive
with the sound of music.

Where's the singing?

(all talking at once)

Okay, now hold it!

You boys up to something?

(all voicing dissent)

Come on now,
hold it, hold it, v...!

Now, Arnold not born yesterday.

I counting on you
for Saturday night.

I give you that
advance, remember?

Arnold, have we
ever let you down?

I not dumb enough to ever
give you the chance before.

♪ Ooh, ooh, wah-ooh,
ooh, wah, wah, wah, wah. ♪

RICHIE: Isn't anybody
going to help me think

of a new singer for my group?

You want me to
lose all that money?

How about Bertha
Brodski? Oh, Marion.

The lady who sings
in the church choir?

Mom, we don't do
very many hymns.

Hey, I could do my
impression of Frankie Laine.

♪ Mule train, ha!
Mule train, ha! ♪

♪ Clippity clop.
Clippity clop... ♪

Marion! She started it.

Well, I'm stopping it.

Come on. Let's go to the movies.

Well, Richard, are you sure
that you don't want to come?

No, no, Mom. I'm
going to stay here

and try and think of something.

Suit yourself. Okay.

Come on. You know,
they won't let us be seated

once the picture starts.

Oh, hi, Ralph. How you doing?

Oh, we're fine.

Look, we're in kind of a rush.
We're going to the movies.

Oh? What are you going to see?

Psycho.

Wow! What an ending!

Tony Perkins is his own mother!

Well, I guess we can just
see Mister Roberts instead.

Oh, you'll love it.

I cried when he died.

What do you say
we go for a ride, huh?

We're going for a ride, Ralph.

Did you see that?

What's with Howie?

Rich, you're not going to
believe what just happened.

What happened?

Arnold found out
about Potsie not singing.

He's trying to
hire another group.

We're blowing this job!

You're kidding. That's great.

The situation looks pretty
desperate, doesn't it?

Yeah. Yeah.

Well, it's Ralphie
to the rescue.

I got another
singer. It's a biggie.

Who? Who did you get?

I'll tell you on the
way to Arnold's.

We've got to get there
before he hires another group.

Well, I was going to stay here

and watch Double
Indemnity on TV.

Forget it.

Fred MacMurray gets
shot and dies in the hallway.

Hey, wait, Ralph.

What about Cinderella?

The shoe fits.

No, I don't want Irving
and the Inner Tubes.

I want the Everly Brothers.

Who? Bob Dylan?

I never heard of him.

You get me a big name. A star!

Arnold! Arnold!

Arnold, get off the phone.

We've got big news!

Oh, don't bother me now.

I'm trying to get a new group.

No. Wait. Don't do
anything hasty, Arnold.

Arnold, we've got an
idea for another singer.

Who you got that
anybody want to hear?

You got nobody.

Oh, yeah? Nobody?

Picture this on the sign:

"Senior Dance, featuring

as Special Guest
Vocalist, Arthur Fonzarelli!"

ARNOLD: Fonzie going to sing?

Fonzie is going to sing?

That'll be great!

No, wait. It's not
set yet. It's not...

Where can we buy the tickets?

I don't need
anybody. I got Fonzie.

Can you believe that?
Fonzie's going to sing!

(girls yelling excitedly)

♪ Ba, ba, ba ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Whoo... yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo. ♪

Where are they?

They should have
been here by now.

Richie was supposed to
pick Fonzie up 20 minutes ago.

Maybe the train was late.

I sure hope we can
talk him into singing.

I mean, we're
really out on a limb.

They're going to kill us
if Fonzie doesn't sing.

I hope he gets here soon,

so I can give him some
lessons, you know?

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la la... ♪

Hey, what are you
guys doing here?

Looking for leftover girls?

Where's Richie?

I give up. Where's Richie?

He's picking you up
at the train station.

I didn't take the train.
Pinky gave me a ride.

Now, if you'll excuse
me, I need some sleep.

Oh, well, how did you do, Fonz?

Hey, we won.

And we had an exhausting
victory party, if you get my drift.

Yeah.

Yeah, we get it, Fonz,

but we got to ask you something.

Yeah? Well, you got
to ask me a little later

because I need my sleep.

Now, get out of here.

Oh, but it's a big
surprise, Fonz.

Yeah? What surprise?

Well, look, Fonz.

Huh?

This is a very becoming
picture, but what is this,

some kind of prank?

No, Fonz, no.

You see, it's not a prank.

Potsie can't sing with us

because he's going
to be out of town,

and we thought you
would like to sing with us.

Come on, Fonz. It'll be great.

Arnold's selling
tickets to everyone.

(wry chuckle) I
knew he'd love it!

So you're going to
sing. Right, Fonz?

Of course he'll sing.

The Fonz and I are on
the same wavelength.

Yeah.

Should I take this
as a no? (door slams)

RALPH: Fonzie, you got to sing.

Hey, I don't got to do nothing!

Yeah, but, you see, we already
told everyone that you would sing.

Well, then, just un-tell them.

You see how easy
problems are solved?

But why won't you
sing with us, Fonz?

No, I don't think
that's the question.

The question is, why would I?

Well, I'll tell you why, Fonz.

Yeah. Because... because...

you'll become a star. So?

Well, look at this, Fonz.

There are stars
all over the world

who aren't as cool as you are.

Look at Frankie Avalon.

Is he as cool as you? No.

How about Fabian? No.

Is Elvis as cool?

Elvis is close.

Okay, Fonz, just
imagine this: Yeah.

It's opening night.

The Fonz at Carnegie Hall.

A chauffeured limousine
pulls up to the curb.

Yeah. A Rolls-Royce.

A white Rolls-Royce.

Hey, hey, hey. Silver, silver.

Silver. Right. Yeah.

The police hold back the crowd,

you get out, the fans go crazy.

Yeah. Wait a minute.
What am I wearing?

What am I wearing?

White tie and tails.

Oh, yeah? I can handle
that. First class all the way.

Okay. For the Fonz,
they roll out the red carpet.

Yeah. Nothing but the
best. Here he comes.

Stars come by to wish you luck.

Yeah. Who's there, Ralph?

Marilyn Monroe, Yeah.

Elvis, Sinatra.

Hey, Frankie, baby! Whoa!

Then the houselights go down.

The mood is perfect.

You can hear a pin drop.

"Ladies and gentlemen,

Carnegie Hall is proud
to present The Fonz!"

A spotlight hits
you on center stage!

The fans go crazy!

All right, all right,
all right, all right!

Hey, I can handle that.

Then it's settled.

I'll teach you how to sing.

I can't handle that!

Get out of here.

Wait a minute, Fonz.

You don't understand.

I didn't explain the
whole thing to you.

Are you crazy?

I didn't mean it. I
didn't mean it, Fonz.

Okay, let me just ask
you something, Fonz.

Fonz, would you want to
deprive the world of your talent?

No. That would be mean.

Oh, come on, Fonz.
Come on. You'll do it, right?

All right, what the heck, Ralph?

It's another world to conquer.

Great. We'll start
with breathing lessons.

Hey, tomorrow you start
with breathing lessons.

Tonight, I get some
sleep. Now, excuse me.

Great. Thanks,
Fonz. That's terrific.

I got to brush my teeth.

The Fonz don't sleep
unless his breath is sweet.

Okay, Fonz, this is a chart
showing how your mouth is formed

when you make certain sounds.

Oh, yeah? I think I know her.

Okay, let's try this one here.

Now, watch me. Aaahhh!

Aaayyh!

That's what it says,
man, "Aaayyh."

Yeah. We'd better try
another sound, huh?

Yeah. Okay.

Fonz, we'll try this
one here now, okay?

Now, watch me. Yeah.

Ohhhh!

Ehhhh!

No, no, little more
now. Come on.

A little more. Don't
touch my mouth.

No one touches the Fonz's mouth.

But you got to learn
how to enunciate.

You can bet no one ever
touched Elvis's mouth.

Ralph! He won't
touch you anymore.

He'll give you lessons
from a distance.

Hey, I don't care if he
teaches me from Pikes Peak!

It didn't take me seven years
to learn how to fix my bike.

It didn't take me seven
years to learn how to fix cars.

And, as for girls, hey, ho!

Okay, the Fonz is right.

Fonzie has natural
talent at everything.

Why should this
be any different?

We'll just play something,

and the Fonz will jump
in when he wants to.

Now, that is
reasonable. All right.

Hey, Shirley,
Laverne, get in here!

(all exchanging greetings)

So, what's the
big surprise, Fonz?

It'd better be good.

We've been standing
outside for a long while.

This is your big surprise.

I'm singing, you're harmonizing.

Now, get up here.
Be my background.

Look. Wait a minute, Fonz.

Why do we need...?
Why do we need them?

I mean, we sing background.

Oh, no, man. See, girls are
very important to my image.

They loom large in my mystique.

Hey, Fonz, singing backup for
a senior dance isn't a big thrill.

Hey, let, me tell you
something, Vernie.

Singing here at Arnold's
is just a short step

all the way to Carnegie Hall.

Wow! And is that a classy place.

They don't even
serve beer there.

Come on, Fonz. You
said a big surprise.

When are we going to go out

on that great date that
you've been promising me?

All right, I'll put
a night aside.

When? Soon.

How soon? Friday.

Where we gonna go?

Wherever I say.

Now, get up here.

Maestro, hit it!

Ready.

(piano plays intro)

♪ Doo... wop, wop ♪

♪ Doo... wop, wop ♪

Doo... wop, wop ♪

♪ Doo... wop. ♪

Everything okay, Fonz?

Oh yeah, yeah,
everything's all right.

I just need a little
more warm-up, that's all.

♪ Mi-mi-mi. ♪

Doo-wops were great, girls.

Thank you. Thank you.

All right, let's hit it one
more time. Let's go.

(piano plays intro)

♪ Doo... wop, wop ♪

♪ Doo... wop, wop ♪

Doo... wop, wop ♪

♪ Doo... wop. ♪

Uh, I think those doo-wops
need more rehearsal, that's all.

Hey, Fonz, what's wrong?
Hey, nothing is wrong.

But the dance is tonight.

I know the dance is tonight.
I don't want to over-rehearse.

I'll be here for my debut.
Girls, let's get out of here.

You were flat. I was not.

♪ You were flat. ♪

♪ I was not. ♪

You're telling me about singing?

I was the one in the glee club.

You were a mouther.

(wild cheering)

This is so exciting, huh?

All those people... They
come to see the Fonz,

come to eat my food.

Okay, my food
here, where's Fonzie?

Don't worry, Arnold,
he'll be here any second.

Oh, boy, I hope so.
They getting restless.

(girls screaming)

Stay back.

Oh, we had to come in the back
way, it was so jammed out there.

Fonz, hurry up and
get into your costume.

Yeah, I'll tell you
something, Arnold,

I didn't know your place
held so many people.

There are a lot of
people out there.

Oh yeah, see, I
put a loudspeaker

in the parking lot to
handle the overflow.

Oh, but you pack
them in, Fonzie.

They all come here to see you.

I'm amazed you're
not more nervous.

Yeah... Yeah, boy,

If I was in your shoes,
I'd be scared stiff.

Arnold, don't, don't you have something
to do in the kitchen or something?

Oh, yeah, yeah,
in the kitchen, yeah.

Boy, I so busy, I got
to send out for food.

(laughing)

You girls eat later.

(girls screaming)

You'd better go ahead
and get dressed, Fonz.

Hey, I want to talk
to you in my office.

Okay, we can talk while
you're getting dressed.

This is pretty exciting, huh?

Oh, yeah, it's
real exciting, yeah.

Hey, Fonz...

What is it, Fonz?

You want to go over the order
of the songs you're going to sing?

I'm not singing any songs. What?

Oh, come on, let's face it
Cunningham, who's kidding who?

I'm not a singer!

Singing's a specialty; it might
take weeks before I'm great.

Big deal. I mean, so
you're not the greatest.

We're not that
terrific either, Fonz.

Yeah, but I am the Fonz.

You can be, eh...
Your whole life is, eh...

Who cares?

I've got a reputation to uphold.

But what am I going to tell
all those people out there?

All right, all right, tell
them that I can't sing

'cause of, uh, doctor's orders.

Doctor's orders?

That's right, tell them
my throat is scratchy.

Oh, come on,
Fonz. I got laryngitis.

Laryngitis? Yeah.

Oh, man, I never
thought I'd see the day

that the Fonz chickened out.

Hey! Hey, watch it, Fonzie,
you'll strain your throat.

Right.

All right, I'm going
to go out there

and I'm going to tell those people that
the Fonz can't sing because he's a chicken!

(crowd chanting): We want
Fonzie! We want Fonzie!

Why didn't I kill him?
CROWD: We want Fonzie!

I'm not chicken. We want Fonzie!

I'm just shy, that's
all. We want Fonzie!

We want Fonzie! We want Fonzie!

CROWD: We want
Fonzie! We want Fonzie!

(crowd booing)

May I have your
attention, please.

(crowd groaning)

I'm afraid I have some bad news.

Fonzie...

slipped in the bathroom
and hit his head on the sink.

There goes my Friday night.

(crowd shouting) Wait,
don't panic, don't panic.

Please return to your seats.

Fonzie is going to be okay.

It's just that he won't
be able to sing tonight.

(crowd groaning)
To you, this is okay?

So, instead we
have... Ralph Malph.

(crowd booing)

Don't worry, He's
good. You'll like him.

He's pretty good.

Uh, he's going to do his
famous impression of Al Jolson!

But I didn't bring my blackface.

Want me to mouth the words?

Well, come on, Laverne,
they don't need us.

Hey, hey, hey,
hold, hold it, hold it!

Nobody leave!

I can't give back all the money!

Who's going to sing?

Who? I. What?

Uh, uh, "By the Light
of the Silvery Moon."

You got that, guys?
You going to play.

What key?

Uh, Asia Minor, I don't care.

The girls going to sing backup,

and we're going
to knock 'em dead.

You go ahead and
introduce us. Okay.

RICHIE: Uh, ladies
and gentlemen,

we have a, uh, a very
special attraction...

straight from the kitchen...
Uh... our very own Arnold!

(crowd boos)

And direct from the
bottle-capping department

of the Shotz's Brewery,

we have Laverne DeFazio
and Shirley Feeney.

Arnold, and the Arnoldettes!

(crowd booing)
Thank you, thank you.

Thank you very much.

(band plays intro)

♪ By the light ♪

♪ Of the silvery moon ♪

♪ Not the sun, but the moon ♪

♪ I want to spoon ♪

♪ Not a fork, but a spoon ♪

♪ With my honey, I'll croon... ♪

♪ Love's tune... ♪

(crowd screaming)

Hold it, hold it, hold it.

(screaming continues)

All right, listen, that's nice.

Uh, I recovered.

(shrieking)

I'm going to take
a shot at this, huh?

If I make a fool out of
myself, it's on your head.

All right.

Introduce me.

Ladies and gentlemen,
I'm very proud to introduce

a courageous man,
a quick healer...

and a unique song stylist,
the one, the only... the Fonz!

(cheering and applauding wildly)

Uh, listen, I'm going to
sing, uh, somebody's favorite.

I hope it's your
favorite; it ain't mine.

All right, maestro,
hit it, one, two...

(piano intro plays)

(talking): Uh, Since
my baby left me,

Uh, I found a
new place to dwell,

Uh, it's down at the
end of Lonely Street

Uh, it's called
Heartbreak Hotel.

(screaming)

I-I-I feel so lonely, baby,

I feel so lonely,

Yeah, uh... listen, the
place is always crowded,

uh, but you can
always find some room.

(girls screaming)

Yeah, to cry there,
and tear there

with you uh broken-hearted tune.

Oh, yeah!

Oh, I feel so lonely, baby,

I feel so lonely, I could die.

Yeah.

All right, now the bellhop...

His tears are flowing... whoa

I want to tell you
that the desk clerk

he's dressed in black... whoa!

Yeah, I want to tell you that
they've been there so long

They ain't never
coming back... whoa!

(crowd shrieking)

Heartbreak Hotel, baby.

Oh, I feel so lonesome, baby.

Oh, I feel so lonely, baby,

My heart, my heart
is an open book.

There's a big draft
going through it... whoa!

Knock yourselves out,
girls, knock yourselves out.

(screaming)

Whoo!

♪ Well, since I left my baby ♪

♪ I found a new place to dwell ♪

♪ It's down at the
end of Lonely Street ♪

♪ Called Heartbreak Hotel ♪

♪ Oh, baby, I got to
tell you something ♪

♪ Oh, my heart is
so lonely, baby ♪

♪ Oh, my heart is
so lonely, baby ♪

♪ My heart is so lonely,
baby, I could die... whoa. ♪

(raucous cheering)

The coast is clear, Fonz.

They tore all my fringes off.

This is the first
time in history

I couldn't control girls.

Yeah, well, don't worry,
you really helped us out,

and next week Potsie's going
to be back to sing with us.

Here, Fonz, we saved
you some fringes.

Laverne, give him your fringes.

No.

Laverne, give him your fringes.

These are valuable.

We could make big
money off of these.

Uh, excuse me, Fonz.

Could I have them fringes back?

Hey, sure, Shirley.

Thank you. Yeah.

Good night, Fonz. We'll
see you Friday, okay? Yeah.

Thanks.

About how much do you think
we can get for these fringes?

See? Now it's we, now it's we.

Hey, Fonz, do you
think I could leave now?

I made a date when they
were ripping you apart.

I told them I was your manager.

Yeah? What did you
tell them, Cunningham?

Nothing.

You see? That's
why you're, uh...

All right, yeah, take
off, have a good time.

Thanks, Fonz.

I promised her a fringe.

Oh, here you go.

All right, thanks a lot.

Knock yourself out.

Patty, here I come,
I got some fringes!

Listen, Cunningham,
you got to do me a favor.

Oh sure, Fonz.

I've got to get out of
here, right? All right.

Take off your cardigan,
all right? Oh, okay.

Here, put on my jacket. Okay.

I want you to stand
here just like that... Yeah?

And pretend you're me,
they'll look at you, right?

Oh, okay.

Hey, what about my hair?

Right here, wear the
helmet. Oh, all right.

Look at what I'm reduced to.

It's all right, for an
evening, I'll be you.

Oh, golly, oh, gee-whiz.

Well, see you,
Richie. Golly, gee-whiz.

Hey, thanks.

GIRL: It's the Fonz.
He waved to us!

(girls screaming)

Oh, they really
think I'm the Fonz.

If I went out there,
I'd be in big trouble.

They'd chase me,
they'd knock me down...

a hundred girls
would jump on me.

(laughs giddily)

♪ These days are ours ♪

(girls screaming)
♪ Happy and free ♪

♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These happy days are
yours and mine, Happy Days. ♪

♪ Good-bye gray
sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can
hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right,
it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rockin' and
rollin' all week long ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Happy and free ♪
♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Share them with me ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are
yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪