Happy Days (1974–1984): Season 2, Episode 9 - Big Money - full transcript
The quiz show scandals of the 1950s are the center of this episode, in which Richie is a contestant on a locally produced quiz show named "Big Money." His ethics and conscience are put to the test when, after an early run of success, he realizes he has been given the answer to the grand-prize question.
(coin clinks in slot)
♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪
♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
♪ The weekend
comes, my cycle hums ♪
♪ Ready to race to you ♪
♪ These days are ours ♪
♪ Happy and free ♪
♪ Oh, happy days ♪
♪ These days are ours ♪
♪ Share them with me ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪
♪ Good-bye, gray
sky, hello, blue ♪
♪ There's nothing can
hold me when I hold you ♪
♪ It feels so right,
it can't be wrong ♪
♪ Rocking and
rolling all week long ♪
(saxophone solo plays
over rhythmic handclaps)
♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪
♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
♪ Saturday, what a day ♪
♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪
♪ These days are ours ♪
♪ Share them with me ♪
♪ Oh, happy days ♪
♪ These days are ours ♪
♪ Happy and free ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪
♪ Good-bye, gray
sky, hello, blue ♪
♪ There's nothing can
hold me when I hold you ♪
♪ It feels so right,
it can't be wrong ♪
♪ Rocking and
rolling all week long ♪
♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪
♪ These happy days are
yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪
Hello, everyone.
Welcome to the show that
made Milwaukee famous.
Today, someone from
our studio audience
will be given the opportunity
to win the jackpot of $5,000.
Will today be the lucky day?
Well, we'll soon see because,
once again, it's time for...
Big Money!
(applause)
Welcome, everybody.
I'm Jack Whippett,
the guy with the green,
the man with the moola.
And this is the show
with a heart, Big Money.
We'll meet our current
champion right after this message.
$5,000!
Boy, I'd like a shot like that.
Who wouldn't?
You guys haven't got a chance.
I'm gonna be the
next contestant.
Yeah, well, rotsa ruck, Ralphie.
The whole audience
filled out cards.
Yeah, but I'll be picked.
Before I handed mine
in, I bent the corner.
Yeah, well, I bent mine, too.
Me, too. Everybody
bends the corner.
They do? That's not fair.
And now back to Big Money!
And we start off our show
with Mr. Roger Schneider.
As you may recall, at the
end of last week's show,
Mr. Schneider had reached
the $3,200 plateau.
What suspense!
Can hear me, Mr. Schneider?
(gulps)
Are you ready to try
for the $3,200 question?
(gulps)
All right, listen carefully.
For $3,200 in cash...
can you name the five
major Hawaiian Islands?
(electric organ playing
suspenseful tune)
Time's almost up.
(suspenseful tune continues)
Hawaii... I think...
uh... (buzzer)
Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Schneider...
The correct answer
is Hawaii, Maui,
Kauai, Oahu and Molokai.
But you're not going
home empty-handed.
No, sir, because here's
our Betty with a gift.
A year's supply of
Plasti-Groom Hair Creme.
Plasti-Groom now
contains chlorophyll.
So don't just look groomed...
look Plasti-Groomed!
But I already spent the money.
And now it's time to pick
our next lucky contestant
from the cards filled out
by tonight's studio audience.
Who will be the next person
to try for the Big Money?
This is it.
I should have worn
my Ivy League suit.
And our next lucky
contestant is...
Richard J. Cunningham.
Hey, Richie!
Fink! You bent your card.
And welcome to our show.
Right now, if you follow our
Betty to the isolation booth,
we'll make it even more
wonderful as we play Big Money.
Can you hear me, Richard? Yes.
Okay. Will you look at our
Big Money category board
and pick your Big
Money category?
Well, I'll pick number seven.
Lucky number
seven is... Baseball!
Okay, let's hope you hit
a grand slam $5,000 homer.
All right. Your first question,
for 20 dollars...
How many bases are there
on a baseball diamond?
That's a snap.
It's too easy. It's
a trick question.
Uh... three bases
and home plate.
That is correct!
You just won $20!
All right!
Okay, Richard, you are up
to 320 Big Money Dollars.
(applause, organ
plays jaunty tune)
Now, for $400... (buzzer)
Uh-oh, the old clock on the
wall says we've run out of time.
(audience groaning)
Richard, can you
come back next week?
Yeah, sure!
You got it, Rich!
That's wonderful,
just wonderful.
And until then, this
is Jack Whippett
reminding you that your
dreams can come true
on Big Money!
Good-bye, everybody.
MARION: $5,000...
what are you going to do
with all that money?
Well, I'm gonna put most
of it in the bank for college.
Mm-hmm. I'm gonna
keep some of it for dates.
Mom, how would you like
to have that clothes dryer
that you've always wanted?
Oh, Richard, that's
so thoughtful of you.
And Dad, how would you
like to have your own set
of custom golf clubs?
Oh, Richard, I wouldn't
expect you to use your...
Oh, I'd love 'em;
I'd really love 'em.
They're yours.
Listen, don't you
think you better
get upstairs and start cramming?
I got a big golf
date on Saturday.
Right.
You know, I'd like one
of those English bikes
with hand brakes
and basket on a
rack on the back,
and electric horn.
That's a little expensive.
Okay, forget the horn.
You can have the horn.
I'll get you a bike
with all the trimmings.
Oh, you're the most generous
brother in the whole world!
Joanie, he's not gonna have
anything to be generous with
unless he gets
upstairs to study.
Okay, I'll hug you
again after I get the bike.
Okay.
Oh, Daddy.
She wants two bikes.
Psst!
Psst!
Hey, Fonz.
Meet me in the john.
What?!
He wants you to
meet him in the john.
Hey...
I ain't invitin' the
whole joint, huh?
Somebody in there I
want you to talk to, right?
Hey, Fonz, I was drinking that!
Oh yeah, but I don't think
it's gonna hurt my comb any.
Who could I talk to in there
that I couldn't
talk to out here?
A plumber, huh?
You better hurry up, Rich.
The Fonz doesn't like to
be kept waitin', you know.
Yeah, I guess you're right.
Oh, listen, guys, keep an eye
on my sundae for me, okay?
Oh, sure, Rich.
Hey, Fonz, you wanted
to talk to me about...
Hey, yeah, my friend
wants to meet you.
Now, this is Quincy the Quill,
sometimes known
as Quincy Jensen.
Oh, it's very nice
meeting you...
Hey, hey, hey, can't you
see the man is working?
I'm sorry.
All right, he's done.
Come here, Quincy.
Get in there.
What do you think?
All I see is a dot.
Precisely.
Except that dot is the
smallest dirty poem
ever written on a bathroom wall.
Thank you.
It doesn't rhyme.
It doesn't rhyme?!
Who cares?! It doesn't rhyme!
Fonzie?
Yeah.
Is that why Quincy
wanted to meet me,
so he could show me his poem?
No.
Quincy thinks he can help
you beat that quiz game.
For 10 percent of the take.
Well, listen, I...
I don't think that I
need this kind of help.
Sure you do.
You give him two
cuffs and he'll give you
the entire baseball almanac.
Complete with index
and cross references.
Hmm?
No, no, I think I'll do
pretty well on my own.
All right, five percent.
Hey, I told you
he wouldn't do it.
He's not that kind of guy.
Yeah, well, I have to split.
I got another client
who's taking the police exam.
Thanks, Quincy.
Yeah. It's a shame.
I see it. I see it.
Listen, I'm sorry, Fonzie,
but I just couldn't do it.
Hey, no sweat. I
couldn't do it either.
All I wear is T-shirts.
"And she don't have anymore."
(laughs)
It doesn't rhyme.
(Richie singing
an upbeat melody)
(water stops running)
(continues singing)
Dad.
What was Tinkers
to Evers to Chance?
Oh, Dad.
Richie, you're dripping
all over my new shoes!
Now, come on, what was
Tinkers to Evers to Chance?
Dad, don't I even get a
chance to take a shower?
The show is less
than a week away.
Now, you can take a
shower after you win.
Tinkers to Evers to Chance...
famous double play combination.
Only sometimes it
was Evers to Tinkers,
sometimes it was
Chance to Evers to Tinkers,
and sometimes it was
Chance to Tinkers to Evers.
Get a grip, Rich, come on!
Ralphie, give him
another one. Okay.
Who had the most major
league strikeouts in 1952?
Come on... I don't know.
Sleep. I need sleep.
Come on, Rich, the
show's tomorrow.
Yeah, we got five books
to get through... come on.
I know all about baseball.
Now I want to
know all about sleep.
Don't let me interrupt.
Just some refreshments.
Come on, get some
food. Come on, energy.
It'll be good for you. Come on.
Oh! Ah, thanks, Mom.
Uh-uh-uh-uh!
Now, first, what was Lou
Gehrig's lifetime RBI total?
Oh, Richard, Mom's just joking.
(electric organ playing
suspenseful tune)
Joe DiMaggio.
Correct! You have
just won $3,200!
(cheering)
Now, Richie, you've just
reached the final plateau.
Are you willing to risk
all the money you've won
to go for the Big Money?
(audience shouting
encouragement)
I'll go for the Big Money.
Did you hear that, folks?
Richie is going
for the Big Money!
Did you hear that?
That's my son!
Oh, he doesn't care, Howard.
I'm his mother.
(buzzer)
Well, the old clock says
we're running a little late, folks.
But Richie here'll be
back again to prove
that your dreams can
come true with Big Money!
See ya next week!
(cheering, whistling)
Man, oh, man!
Only one question
away from the Big Money!
WHIPPETT: Ah, and
this must be the family.
Yeah, this is my dad.
I'm his father.
How do you do, Mr. Whippett.
Whatever you do, you
gotta come back next week.
Oh, I won't forget,
Mr. Whippett.
There's something
about an all-American
redhead that TV viewers like.
And the freckles...
Keep the freckles.
Oh, well, I take
them wherever I go.
And when you get
home, take a look at this.
Oh, sure.
You've got a wonderful family.
Oh, well, thank you.
It's nice to meet you.
Thanks a lot! See you next week.
What do you say, Rich,
why don't we all go down
to Arnold's for a
celebration blast?
Yeah, yeah! Would
you like to come?
Oh, no, no, you boys
go and have your blast.
Your father and I'll be fine.
Okay, well, I'll be
back in a while.
RALPH: So long, Mr. and Mrs. C.
POTSIE: Big Money! Yay!
I wanted to go.
GIRL: Richie!
(laughter, excited chatter)
Come on, come on.
Let him through.
Come on!
He's fragile! Come on!
Don't be rowdy here.
There you go, Rich.
WAITRESS: Excuse me, excuse me.
I'll get you the usual, Richie.
Okay.
Out of his way,
girls! Give him room!
Boy, they all saw the show.
Of course. You're
a star now, Rich.
Is that your contract?
No, I don't know what it is.
What's wrong?
It's all about baseball.
What'd they do?
Give you the questions?
(Potsie laughs)
No, the answers.
Well, they're not
really questions...
and they're not
really answers either.
Yeah,
they're more like
questions and answers.
This is gonna be a breeze.
It's gotta be a mistake.
I did fine on the show
tonight without any help.
Why would Mr. Whippett
want me to cheat?
It's only cheating if
you take the answers.
They were given to you.
What's wrong with that?
I gotta go.
I'll see you later.
I don't know what's bugging him.
I mean, the show's called
Big Money, not Big Dummy.
Well, then, these
answers are the answers?
What's in a name?
I don't think that I
should go on the show
if I already know the answers.
Ah... I see your problem.
You just don't understand
the purpose of Big Money.
It's a standard giveaway show.
You give away your
time, we give away prizes,
and for the giveaway questions,
we give away the answers.
It's called entertainment.
You do this for all
the contestants?
No... just for the ones
the audience likes.
Remember last month...
What was her name?
Miss Furman, the 90-year-old
escapee from Hungary?
Oh, yeah, I, I liked her.
Right, and she won.
What about that
mambo-dancing minister?
He got the organ
he always wanted.
You mean, the minister
knew the answers, too?
I-Is this station policy?
Well, not exactly,
but what they don't
know won't hurt 'em,
will it?
(sighs)
Richard, Richard,
everybody does it.
Even President Eisenhower
doesn't go on
television unprepared.
It just looks that way.
I guess there's a lot I
don't know about showbiz.
Ah... it's not all glamour, kid.
Now, I want you to think about
how we're all counting on you.
I want you to think about
how you represent...
the American Dream.
(sighs)
Mr. Whippett says they
do it for all the contestants.
It's called entertainment.
I am very disillusioned.
About what?
About what? About what?
I thought that show
was on the up-and-up.
I believed in that show.
That show took
the Fonz for a ride.
What are you so sore about?
I mean, you're the one
who brought Quincy by here.
That's a whole different story.
See, I'm helping a pal
the best way I know how
and they're cheating everybody
whether you want it or not.
What do you think I
should do about it?
I am really ticked off.
I mean, you can't
trust anybody anymore.
You think I should
use those answers?
You know what a drag this is?
This puts a skid
on my whole day.
Maybe I shouldn't have told you.
I gotta be alone.
Wait a minute.
Fonzie, uh, what about my car?
See, I, I need it tonight.
Hey, you don't
worry about your car.
I'll come back to that after
I get this out of my system.
Boy, I wish the man would
finish fixing our TV set.
MARION: Well, he promised
to get our picture tube back
in seven to ten days.
Yeah, but I'm not
gonna last that long.
I'll go stir crazy.
Do what you did
before we had television.
I sat around wishing I had a TV.
Hi, everybody.
Hi. Hello, dear.
Here's the bike I
want on page 1,475.
Oh, and Mom's, Mom's
dryer's on page 847.
And I got measured
today for the new golf clubs.
Good.
Hey, wait a minute, Rich.
Look, I got these
baseball statistics
from some of my customers.
A few of them are so obscure
I don't believe they
ever happened.
Well, Dad, I...
I don't feel like
being quizzed right now, okay?
Richard, I hope you're not
coming down with something.
Oh, no, I'm fine.
I'm just a little tired.
I'll be up in my room.
Okay.
Howard, do you think
all this excitement
is wearing Richard out?
Oh, I think he's just a
little nervous, Marion.
Hey, did you know that
there's six ways for a batter
to get to first base
without getting a base hit?
Oh, that isn't fair.
(knock on door)
Hi.
Oh, hi, Dad.
Your mother told
me to give you that.
Why?
Well, I guess she couldn't
think of anything else.
She says, "If it's
the flu, it'll help,
and if it's not, it won't hurt."
Dad... I know all the answers.
Oh, well, that's,
that's good, Richard.
When I was your age, I
thought I knew 'em, too.
I've been meaning
to talk to you about it,
but I didn't know
how to bring it up.
I still don't know
how to bring it up,
but I gotta bring it up.
Well, why don't you
bring it up, Richard?
(quietly): Yeah.
Dad, Mr. Whippett
gave this to me.
No matter how I
look at it, it's cheating.
Wait, let me get this straight.
These are the answers to
the Big Money questions?
Yeah, they, they even tell you
which one's gonna
be the $5,000 question.
Where does it say that?
Don't you see the one
that's underlined in red ink
and it-it's got 5,000
next to it and a star?
Oh, yeah.
Wee Willie Keeler, Dazzy
Vance, Rabbit Maranville.
All members of the
Baseball Hall of Fame.
They're practically
giving me the $5,000.
What do you think
I should do, Dad?
Well, did Mr. Whippett
say why he gave you this?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, he gave me this long talk
about entertainment.
He said they do it
for all the contestants.
They do?
You know that little
old lady from Hungary?
She knew the answers.
The old woman with the mustache?
And, and the minister who
knew all about ballroom dancing...
Oh... and he said he
owed it all to prayer.
Mr. Whippett
answered all his prayers.
Gee, Richie, it just
doesn't seem right to me.
And yet they all seem
to go along with it, huh?
Yeah.
I don't know what to do, Dad.
Well, I-I think that, uh, uh...
Well, how do you feel about it?
Well, I know you'd like
to have that set of
custom golf clubs.
Oh, well, sure I would,
but I wouldn't ask
you to do this for me.
Yeah, but I know that Mom
would like to have that dryer
and Joanie'd like
to have the bike
and I-I'd like to
have the $5,000.
I don't blame you for that.
A-And like Mr. Whippett says,
others do do it a-and
it is entertainment.
He made it sound like I'd
be a sucker if I didn't do it.
Yeah.
So what do you think
I should do, Dad?
Well, I don't know, Richard.
I, uh, I think it's up to you.
I think you've got to
make the decision.
Thanks, Dad.
Eh, don't mention it.
Any time.
(door closes)
Hi, everybody, and
welcome back to Big Money,
the show where little
people win big money.
Today is a big dollar day
because Richie
Cunningham is back
and ready to go for it
all: the jackpot... $5,000.
All right, Richie,
you're only one question
away from the Big Money.
Are you ready?
Yes, sir, I studied.
All right, Richie,
for $5,000, Richie.
Listen closely to
the following names:
Wee Willie Keeler, Dazzy Vance,
and Rabbit Maranville.
For $5,000, what do these
baseball players have in common?
I don't know.
That is... what?
(audience members groaning)
I'm sorry, Mr. Whippett,
I don't know the answer.
I, I guess I lose.
(buzzer)
Well, I'm sorry, too, Richie.
I don't understand it,
but I guess you
lose the Big Money.
WHIPPETT: But you do
win something almost as nice.
A year's supply of
Plasti-Sheen Toothpaste!
Plasti-Sheen now
contains chlorophyll,
so cover the yellow with
the green of Plasti-Sheen!
And now it's time to select
a brand-new contestant.
Mr. Quincy Jensen!
Well, hi, Mr. Jensen,
welcome to our show.
Tell us, what do
you do for a living?
Well, I write a little.
RICHIE: You think
Whippett'll keep cheating, Dad?
HOWARD: Well, the station
manager was yelling at him as we left,
and I distinctly
heard the word "fired."
JOANIE: I hope they let
Richie keep his toothpaste.
MARION: Would anybody
like a cup of tea or cocoa?
I do.
Yeah, I'll have some, too.
Why don't you go on in?
I want to talk to
Richard for a minute.
Oh, all right, dear.
(sighs)
What bugs me is, is I
made this noble gesture,
this, this big sacrifice,
and what good does it do?
The show goes on
and I'm out 5,000 bucks.
Richard, I understand
how you feel,
but I don't want you to think
that the whole world is rotten.
People aren't all bad.
They're just weak.
I know.
Including me.
I feel terrible.
I-I got so excited
about you winning
and me getting
those golf clubs that...
well, I just got caught
up in the whole thing
and I couldn't think straight.
I should have said right
off, "No, it's a bad thing,"
but I didn't.
That's all right, Dad.
I mean, if I were Ozzie Nelson,
the minute I heard
the word "cheating,"
I would have said,
"No, don't do it"
without a second's hesitation.
But I didn't do it.
I hedged.
I was wrong.
I'm just human, I guess.
You know, Ozzie never hedges.
Ozzie doesn't have to.
He probably already
has new golf clubs.
♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪
♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪
♪ These happy days. ♪
♪ Hello, sunshine,
good-bye, rain ♪
♪ She's wearing my
school ring on her chain ♪
♪ She's my steady, I'm her man ♪
♪ I'm gonna love her all I can ♪
♪ This day is ours ♪
♪ Won't you be mine? ♪
♪ Oh, happy days ♪
♪ This day is ours ♪
♪ Oh, please be mine ♪
♪ Oh, happy days ♪
♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪
♪ These happy days are
yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪
♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪
♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
♪ The weekend
comes, my cycle hums ♪
♪ Ready to race to you ♪
♪ These days are ours ♪
♪ Happy and free ♪
♪ Oh, happy days ♪
♪ These days are ours ♪
♪ Share them with me ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪
♪ Good-bye, gray
sky, hello, blue ♪
♪ There's nothing can
hold me when I hold you ♪
♪ It feels so right,
it can't be wrong ♪
♪ Rocking and
rolling all week long ♪
(saxophone solo plays
over rhythmic handclaps)
♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪
♪ Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ♪
♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪
♪ Saturday, what a day ♪
♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪
♪ These days are ours ♪
♪ Share them with me ♪
♪ Oh, happy days ♪
♪ These days are ours ♪
♪ Happy and free ♪
♪ Oh, baby ♪
♪ Good-bye, gray
sky, hello, blue ♪
♪ There's nothing can
hold me when I hold you ♪
♪ It feels so right,
it can't be wrong ♪
♪ Rocking and
rolling all week long ♪
♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪
♪ These happy days are
yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪
Hello, everyone.
Welcome to the show that
made Milwaukee famous.
Today, someone from
our studio audience
will be given the opportunity
to win the jackpot of $5,000.
Will today be the lucky day?
Well, we'll soon see because,
once again, it's time for...
Big Money!
(applause)
Welcome, everybody.
I'm Jack Whippett,
the guy with the green,
the man with the moola.
And this is the show
with a heart, Big Money.
We'll meet our current
champion right after this message.
$5,000!
Boy, I'd like a shot like that.
Who wouldn't?
You guys haven't got a chance.
I'm gonna be the
next contestant.
Yeah, well, rotsa ruck, Ralphie.
The whole audience
filled out cards.
Yeah, but I'll be picked.
Before I handed mine
in, I bent the corner.
Yeah, well, I bent mine, too.
Me, too. Everybody
bends the corner.
They do? That's not fair.
And now back to Big Money!
And we start off our show
with Mr. Roger Schneider.
As you may recall, at the
end of last week's show,
Mr. Schneider had reached
the $3,200 plateau.
What suspense!
Can hear me, Mr. Schneider?
(gulps)
Are you ready to try
for the $3,200 question?
(gulps)
All right, listen carefully.
For $3,200 in cash...
can you name the five
major Hawaiian Islands?
(electric organ playing
suspenseful tune)
Time's almost up.
(suspenseful tune continues)
Hawaii... I think...
uh... (buzzer)
Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Schneider...
The correct answer
is Hawaii, Maui,
Kauai, Oahu and Molokai.
But you're not going
home empty-handed.
No, sir, because here's
our Betty with a gift.
A year's supply of
Plasti-Groom Hair Creme.
Plasti-Groom now
contains chlorophyll.
So don't just look groomed...
look Plasti-Groomed!
But I already spent the money.
And now it's time to pick
our next lucky contestant
from the cards filled out
by tonight's studio audience.
Who will be the next person
to try for the Big Money?
This is it.
I should have worn
my Ivy League suit.
And our next lucky
contestant is...
Richard J. Cunningham.
Hey, Richie!
Fink! You bent your card.
And welcome to our show.
Right now, if you follow our
Betty to the isolation booth,
we'll make it even more
wonderful as we play Big Money.
Can you hear me, Richard? Yes.
Okay. Will you look at our
Big Money category board
and pick your Big
Money category?
Well, I'll pick number seven.
Lucky number
seven is... Baseball!
Okay, let's hope you hit
a grand slam $5,000 homer.
All right. Your first question,
for 20 dollars...
How many bases are there
on a baseball diamond?
That's a snap.
It's too easy. It's
a trick question.
Uh... three bases
and home plate.
That is correct!
You just won $20!
All right!
Okay, Richard, you are up
to 320 Big Money Dollars.
(applause, organ
plays jaunty tune)
Now, for $400... (buzzer)
Uh-oh, the old clock on the
wall says we've run out of time.
(audience groaning)
Richard, can you
come back next week?
Yeah, sure!
You got it, Rich!
That's wonderful,
just wonderful.
And until then, this
is Jack Whippett
reminding you that your
dreams can come true
on Big Money!
Good-bye, everybody.
MARION: $5,000...
what are you going to do
with all that money?
Well, I'm gonna put most
of it in the bank for college.
Mm-hmm. I'm gonna
keep some of it for dates.
Mom, how would you like
to have that clothes dryer
that you've always wanted?
Oh, Richard, that's
so thoughtful of you.
And Dad, how would you
like to have your own set
of custom golf clubs?
Oh, Richard, I wouldn't
expect you to use your...
Oh, I'd love 'em;
I'd really love 'em.
They're yours.
Listen, don't you
think you better
get upstairs and start cramming?
I got a big golf
date on Saturday.
Right.
You know, I'd like one
of those English bikes
with hand brakes
and basket on a
rack on the back,
and electric horn.
That's a little expensive.
Okay, forget the horn.
You can have the horn.
I'll get you a bike
with all the trimmings.
Oh, you're the most generous
brother in the whole world!
Joanie, he's not gonna have
anything to be generous with
unless he gets
upstairs to study.
Okay, I'll hug you
again after I get the bike.
Okay.
Oh, Daddy.
She wants two bikes.
Psst!
Psst!
Hey, Fonz.
Meet me in the john.
What?!
He wants you to
meet him in the john.
Hey...
I ain't invitin' the
whole joint, huh?
Somebody in there I
want you to talk to, right?
Hey, Fonz, I was drinking that!
Oh yeah, but I don't think
it's gonna hurt my comb any.
Who could I talk to in there
that I couldn't
talk to out here?
A plumber, huh?
You better hurry up, Rich.
The Fonz doesn't like to
be kept waitin', you know.
Yeah, I guess you're right.
Oh, listen, guys, keep an eye
on my sundae for me, okay?
Oh, sure, Rich.
Hey, Fonz, you wanted
to talk to me about...
Hey, yeah, my friend
wants to meet you.
Now, this is Quincy the Quill,
sometimes known
as Quincy Jensen.
Oh, it's very nice
meeting you...
Hey, hey, hey, can't you
see the man is working?
I'm sorry.
All right, he's done.
Come here, Quincy.
Get in there.
What do you think?
All I see is a dot.
Precisely.
Except that dot is the
smallest dirty poem
ever written on a bathroom wall.
Thank you.
It doesn't rhyme.
It doesn't rhyme?!
Who cares?! It doesn't rhyme!
Fonzie?
Yeah.
Is that why Quincy
wanted to meet me,
so he could show me his poem?
No.
Quincy thinks he can help
you beat that quiz game.
For 10 percent of the take.
Well, listen, I...
I don't think that I
need this kind of help.
Sure you do.
You give him two
cuffs and he'll give you
the entire baseball almanac.
Complete with index
and cross references.
Hmm?
No, no, I think I'll do
pretty well on my own.
All right, five percent.
Hey, I told you
he wouldn't do it.
He's not that kind of guy.
Yeah, well, I have to split.
I got another client
who's taking the police exam.
Thanks, Quincy.
Yeah. It's a shame.
I see it. I see it.
Listen, I'm sorry, Fonzie,
but I just couldn't do it.
Hey, no sweat. I
couldn't do it either.
All I wear is T-shirts.
"And she don't have anymore."
(laughs)
It doesn't rhyme.
(Richie singing
an upbeat melody)
(water stops running)
(continues singing)
Dad.
What was Tinkers
to Evers to Chance?
Oh, Dad.
Richie, you're dripping
all over my new shoes!
Now, come on, what was
Tinkers to Evers to Chance?
Dad, don't I even get a
chance to take a shower?
The show is less
than a week away.
Now, you can take a
shower after you win.
Tinkers to Evers to Chance...
famous double play combination.
Only sometimes it
was Evers to Tinkers,
sometimes it was
Chance to Evers to Tinkers,
and sometimes it was
Chance to Tinkers to Evers.
Get a grip, Rich, come on!
Ralphie, give him
another one. Okay.
Who had the most major
league strikeouts in 1952?
Come on... I don't know.
Sleep. I need sleep.
Come on, Rich, the
show's tomorrow.
Yeah, we got five books
to get through... come on.
I know all about baseball.
Now I want to
know all about sleep.
Don't let me interrupt.
Just some refreshments.
Come on, get some
food. Come on, energy.
It'll be good for you. Come on.
Oh! Ah, thanks, Mom.
Uh-uh-uh-uh!
Now, first, what was Lou
Gehrig's lifetime RBI total?
Oh, Richard, Mom's just joking.
(electric organ playing
suspenseful tune)
Joe DiMaggio.
Correct! You have
just won $3,200!
(cheering)
Now, Richie, you've just
reached the final plateau.
Are you willing to risk
all the money you've won
to go for the Big Money?
(audience shouting
encouragement)
I'll go for the Big Money.
Did you hear that, folks?
Richie is going
for the Big Money!
Did you hear that?
That's my son!
Oh, he doesn't care, Howard.
I'm his mother.
(buzzer)
Well, the old clock says
we're running a little late, folks.
But Richie here'll be
back again to prove
that your dreams can
come true with Big Money!
See ya next week!
(cheering, whistling)
Man, oh, man!
Only one question
away from the Big Money!
WHIPPETT: Ah, and
this must be the family.
Yeah, this is my dad.
I'm his father.
How do you do, Mr. Whippett.
Whatever you do, you
gotta come back next week.
Oh, I won't forget,
Mr. Whippett.
There's something
about an all-American
redhead that TV viewers like.
And the freckles...
Keep the freckles.
Oh, well, I take
them wherever I go.
And when you get
home, take a look at this.
Oh, sure.
You've got a wonderful family.
Oh, well, thank you.
It's nice to meet you.
Thanks a lot! See you next week.
What do you say, Rich,
why don't we all go down
to Arnold's for a
celebration blast?
Yeah, yeah! Would
you like to come?
Oh, no, no, you boys
go and have your blast.
Your father and I'll be fine.
Okay, well, I'll be
back in a while.
RALPH: So long, Mr. and Mrs. C.
POTSIE: Big Money! Yay!
I wanted to go.
GIRL: Richie!
(laughter, excited chatter)
Come on, come on.
Let him through.
Come on!
He's fragile! Come on!
Don't be rowdy here.
There you go, Rich.
WAITRESS: Excuse me, excuse me.
I'll get you the usual, Richie.
Okay.
Out of his way,
girls! Give him room!
Boy, they all saw the show.
Of course. You're
a star now, Rich.
Is that your contract?
No, I don't know what it is.
What's wrong?
It's all about baseball.
What'd they do?
Give you the questions?
(Potsie laughs)
No, the answers.
Well, they're not
really questions...
and they're not
really answers either.
Yeah,
they're more like
questions and answers.
This is gonna be a breeze.
It's gotta be a mistake.
I did fine on the show
tonight without any help.
Why would Mr. Whippett
want me to cheat?
It's only cheating if
you take the answers.
They were given to you.
What's wrong with that?
I gotta go.
I'll see you later.
I don't know what's bugging him.
I mean, the show's called
Big Money, not Big Dummy.
Well, then, these
answers are the answers?
What's in a name?
I don't think that I
should go on the show
if I already know the answers.
Ah... I see your problem.
You just don't understand
the purpose of Big Money.
It's a standard giveaway show.
You give away your
time, we give away prizes,
and for the giveaway questions,
we give away the answers.
It's called entertainment.
You do this for all
the contestants?
No... just for the ones
the audience likes.
Remember last month...
What was her name?
Miss Furman, the 90-year-old
escapee from Hungary?
Oh, yeah, I, I liked her.
Right, and she won.
What about that
mambo-dancing minister?
He got the organ
he always wanted.
You mean, the minister
knew the answers, too?
I-Is this station policy?
Well, not exactly,
but what they don't
know won't hurt 'em,
will it?
(sighs)
Richard, Richard,
everybody does it.
Even President Eisenhower
doesn't go on
television unprepared.
It just looks that way.
I guess there's a lot I
don't know about showbiz.
Ah... it's not all glamour, kid.
Now, I want you to think about
how we're all counting on you.
I want you to think about
how you represent...
the American Dream.
(sighs)
Mr. Whippett says they
do it for all the contestants.
It's called entertainment.
I am very disillusioned.
About what?
About what? About what?
I thought that show
was on the up-and-up.
I believed in that show.
That show took
the Fonz for a ride.
What are you so sore about?
I mean, you're the one
who brought Quincy by here.
That's a whole different story.
See, I'm helping a pal
the best way I know how
and they're cheating everybody
whether you want it or not.
What do you think I
should do about it?
I am really ticked off.
I mean, you can't
trust anybody anymore.
You think I should
use those answers?
You know what a drag this is?
This puts a skid
on my whole day.
Maybe I shouldn't have told you.
I gotta be alone.
Wait a minute.
Fonzie, uh, what about my car?
See, I, I need it tonight.
Hey, you don't
worry about your car.
I'll come back to that after
I get this out of my system.
Boy, I wish the man would
finish fixing our TV set.
MARION: Well, he promised
to get our picture tube back
in seven to ten days.
Yeah, but I'm not
gonna last that long.
I'll go stir crazy.
Do what you did
before we had television.
I sat around wishing I had a TV.
Hi, everybody.
Hi. Hello, dear.
Here's the bike I
want on page 1,475.
Oh, and Mom's, Mom's
dryer's on page 847.
And I got measured
today for the new golf clubs.
Good.
Hey, wait a minute, Rich.
Look, I got these
baseball statistics
from some of my customers.
A few of them are so obscure
I don't believe they
ever happened.
Well, Dad, I...
I don't feel like
being quizzed right now, okay?
Richard, I hope you're not
coming down with something.
Oh, no, I'm fine.
I'm just a little tired.
I'll be up in my room.
Okay.
Howard, do you think
all this excitement
is wearing Richard out?
Oh, I think he's just a
little nervous, Marion.
Hey, did you know that
there's six ways for a batter
to get to first base
without getting a base hit?
Oh, that isn't fair.
(knock on door)
Hi.
Oh, hi, Dad.
Your mother told
me to give you that.
Why?
Well, I guess she couldn't
think of anything else.
She says, "If it's
the flu, it'll help,
and if it's not, it won't hurt."
Dad... I know all the answers.
Oh, well, that's,
that's good, Richard.
When I was your age, I
thought I knew 'em, too.
I've been meaning
to talk to you about it,
but I didn't know
how to bring it up.
I still don't know
how to bring it up,
but I gotta bring it up.
Well, why don't you
bring it up, Richard?
(quietly): Yeah.
Dad, Mr. Whippett
gave this to me.
No matter how I
look at it, it's cheating.
Wait, let me get this straight.
These are the answers to
the Big Money questions?
Yeah, they, they even tell you
which one's gonna
be the $5,000 question.
Where does it say that?
Don't you see the one
that's underlined in red ink
and it-it's got 5,000
next to it and a star?
Oh, yeah.
Wee Willie Keeler, Dazzy
Vance, Rabbit Maranville.
All members of the
Baseball Hall of Fame.
They're practically
giving me the $5,000.
What do you think
I should do, Dad?
Well, did Mr. Whippett
say why he gave you this?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, he gave me this long talk
about entertainment.
He said they do it
for all the contestants.
They do?
You know that little
old lady from Hungary?
She knew the answers.
The old woman with the mustache?
And, and the minister who
knew all about ballroom dancing...
Oh... and he said he
owed it all to prayer.
Mr. Whippett
answered all his prayers.
Gee, Richie, it just
doesn't seem right to me.
And yet they all seem
to go along with it, huh?
Yeah.
I don't know what to do, Dad.
Well, I-I think that, uh, uh...
Well, how do you feel about it?
Well, I know you'd like
to have that set of
custom golf clubs.
Oh, well, sure I would,
but I wouldn't ask
you to do this for me.
Yeah, but I know that Mom
would like to have that dryer
and Joanie'd like
to have the bike
and I-I'd like to
have the $5,000.
I don't blame you for that.
A-And like Mr. Whippett says,
others do do it a-and
it is entertainment.
He made it sound like I'd
be a sucker if I didn't do it.
Yeah.
So what do you think
I should do, Dad?
Well, I don't know, Richard.
I, uh, I think it's up to you.
I think you've got to
make the decision.
Thanks, Dad.
Eh, don't mention it.
Any time.
(door closes)
Hi, everybody, and
welcome back to Big Money,
the show where little
people win big money.
Today is a big dollar day
because Richie
Cunningham is back
and ready to go for it
all: the jackpot... $5,000.
All right, Richie,
you're only one question
away from the Big Money.
Are you ready?
Yes, sir, I studied.
All right, Richie,
for $5,000, Richie.
Listen closely to
the following names:
Wee Willie Keeler, Dazzy Vance,
and Rabbit Maranville.
For $5,000, what do these
baseball players have in common?
I don't know.
That is... what?
(audience members groaning)
I'm sorry, Mr. Whippett,
I don't know the answer.
I, I guess I lose.
(buzzer)
Well, I'm sorry, too, Richie.
I don't understand it,
but I guess you
lose the Big Money.
WHIPPETT: But you do
win something almost as nice.
A year's supply of
Plasti-Sheen Toothpaste!
Plasti-Sheen now
contains chlorophyll,
so cover the yellow with
the green of Plasti-Sheen!
And now it's time to select
a brand-new contestant.
Mr. Quincy Jensen!
Well, hi, Mr. Jensen,
welcome to our show.
Tell us, what do
you do for a living?
Well, I write a little.
RICHIE: You think
Whippett'll keep cheating, Dad?
HOWARD: Well, the station
manager was yelling at him as we left,
and I distinctly
heard the word "fired."
JOANIE: I hope they let
Richie keep his toothpaste.
MARION: Would anybody
like a cup of tea or cocoa?
I do.
Yeah, I'll have some, too.
Why don't you go on in?
I want to talk to
Richard for a minute.
Oh, all right, dear.
(sighs)
What bugs me is, is I
made this noble gesture,
this, this big sacrifice,
and what good does it do?
The show goes on
and I'm out 5,000 bucks.
Richard, I understand
how you feel,
but I don't want you to think
that the whole world is rotten.
People aren't all bad.
They're just weak.
I know.
Including me.
I feel terrible.
I-I got so excited
about you winning
and me getting
those golf clubs that...
well, I just got caught
up in the whole thing
and I couldn't think straight.
I should have said right
off, "No, it's a bad thing,"
but I didn't.
That's all right, Dad.
I mean, if I were Ozzie Nelson,
the minute I heard
the word "cheating,"
I would have said,
"No, don't do it"
without a second's hesitation.
But I didn't do it.
I hedged.
I was wrong.
I'm just human, I guess.
You know, Ozzie never hedges.
Ozzie doesn't have to.
He probably already
has new golf clubs.
♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪
♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪
♪ These happy days. ♪
♪ Hello, sunshine,
good-bye, rain ♪
♪ She's wearing my
school ring on her chain ♪
♪ She's my steady, I'm her man ♪
♪ I'm gonna love her all I can ♪
♪ This day is ours ♪
♪ Won't you be mine? ♪
♪ Oh, happy days ♪
♪ This day is ours ♪
♪ Oh, please be mine ♪
♪ Oh, happy days ♪
♪ These happy days
are yours and mine ♪
♪ These happy days are
yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪