Hamster & Gretel (2022–…): Season 1, Episode 3 - Superhero Sibling Rivalry/Close Shave - full transcript
Gretel battles twin villains on her own/Gretel's "hero punch" gets her into trouble.
♪ Who's the improbable
duo that you heard about?
♪ Faster than a scooter
stronger than metal
♪ Who's the little girl and
her domesticated rodent?
♪ Who's still standing when
you see the dust settle?
♪ It's Hamster
Hamster, Hamster
♪ Hamster and Gretel
♪ If they can't do
it then nobody can
♪ Hamster, Hamster, Hamster
♪ Hamster and Gretel
♪ There's also Kevin
in the minivan ♪
Kevin, we have a problem.
Is it you? Sometimes
you're a problem.
Worse. Family dinner night.
(SIGHS) I already made plans.
What plans?
Well...
So basically the same thing
you do during the day,
but with more snacks.
Oh, yeah. Things get
pretty wild around here.
Well, I was gonna
go to Bailey's.
I don't want to stay
here and be bored.
I want to be bored
at Bailey's house.
We gotta stop this.
Um, Mom...
Oh, no. You are not getting
out of family dinner night.
My abuela had
family dinner night.
And her abuela had
family dinner night.
And I'm pretty sure
our caveman ancestors
had family dinner night.
So cancel your plans.
How'd you know we had plans?
You said, "Um, Mom"...
Um, honey...
Cancel your plans.
Oh, I have to go to the market
to pick up a few things.
My special ropa
vieja needs to cook
in the oven for two hours.
You have to watch
it while I'm gone.
We have to watch an
oven for two hours?
Family tradition.
So cancel your plans.
GRETEL: Two hours!
Why is it called
"ropa vieja" anyway?
That's just "old clothes."
'Cause it's stringy, I guess.
Wait, what are you doing?
I can cook it faster
with my heat vision.
Don't! Gretel, wait.
(SIZZLING)
(BOTH SCREAM)
Okay. Don't panic.
Do not panic.
We can get a replacement
before Mom gets back.
MOM: I'm back.
(BOTH SCREAM)
MOM: Why are you screaming?
I just forgot my shopping list.
I'll be right in there.
I just need to unlock the door.
Here it is.
You find some ropa
vieja. I'll stall Mom.
MOM: Here we go! Unlocking.
Mom. You know what I miss?
Mom and Kevin quality time.
Like when you used to
drag me to the supermarket
when I was a little kid.
Ah, you were so cute.
You were afraid of
the conveyor belt.
You thought it was
going to eat you.
(SCREAMING)
Um, yeah.
Let's go make some more
memories like that.
Ay, mi amore!
(SNIFFING) Do I smell smoke?
No, no. That's me.
Sometimes I smell like burning.
It's a puberty thing.
Ay, ask your father.
We need some ropa
vieja on the double.
Sorry. We don't serve rodents.
Indoor or patio?
Mmm...
It doesn't taste like Mom's.
Thanks anyway.
Sorry about the roof.
All I got is $5.
Hamster, got any money?
Keep the change, ma'am.
I quit.
And this is why we
don't serve rodents.
Looks like we're all done.
What! So fast?
You, you said we had
so much stuff to buy.
Yes, but with my little helper,
we got done in half the time.
Uh...
Honey, can you help me put stuff
on the conveyor belt?
SCARY VOICE: Kevin.
Kevin.
Kevin.
GRETEL: Kevin. The
armadillo is in the blender.
Repeat, the armadillo
is in the blender.
Does that mean you have
it or you don't have it?
GRETEL: Don't have
it. Obviously.
Um... Hey, Mom.
You know, I'm enjoying this
mother-son time so much,
maybe we could do
something else.
Ay, mi amore. That
makes me so happy.
I know just the thing
we could do together.
(CAMERA SHUTTER
CLICKS) (KEVIN LAUGHS)
Just like when you were young.
Yay!
This is so great.
(KIDDIE RIDE MUSIC PLAYING)
Have you guys found it yet?
Negative. The buffalo
is in the dishwasher.
What?
I changed the code.
Well, can you hurry up?
We're going as fast as we can.
Sorry. We don't
make ropa vieja.
Then, we'll just get
some chips and guac.
Oh, and a lump of
coal if you have it.
Uh, Kevin? Hiromi?
Ay! You're one of
Kevin's friends?
Get in the picture.
(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)
Mmm. Too salty.
Too spicy. Too ropa.
Too vieja. This
actually is old clothes.
In our defense, this
is a laundromat.
Hamster, what are
we going to do?
We haven't found
any good ropa vieja
and we're almost out of time.
Have you tried the Casa
Ropa Vieja on Green Street?
Casa Ropa Vieja?
We should have
looked there first.
Thanks, mister.
Hey, that mouse ate my pants.
I quit.
You used to love this
park when you were little.
It is kind of nice to be here.
Oh, look, the balloon man.
GRETEL: Still don't have it.
Uh, can you, slowly,
get me a balloon?
For old time's sake.
Of course, mi corazon.
Excuse me, sir.
Can we get...
Even slower than that.
Um, okay.
(SLOWLY) Excuse me, sir.
This is perfect!
Well, we only have
one order left.
We'll take it. I'll take it.
(MAN READING)
Yeah, Mom, I don't think
we need to document this moment.
(LAUGHS) Uh, Kevin...
Hi, Hiromi.
What are you doing here?
I'm here with my entire
photography class.
(CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING) Oh, good.
Now I have to move to another continent.
(MAN READING)
Is it done? Si.
This ropa vieja is mine.
For my family dinner.
Oh, 'cause I'm a
"super villain,"
I don't have a family or dinner?
I'm only gonna ask once
nicely. (CRACKS KNUCKLES)
Well, I'm not going
to ask at all,
meanly.
Oh, it is so on.
(LATIN MUSIC PLAYING)
KEVIN: Well, well, well.
Balloon man-child is
trending on the Internet,
so that feels good.
Mom, you posted this.
Well, I wasn't going to let
that photo club scoop me.
Oh, look, that's the old
farm we used to go to.
The place with the pony rides?
Why not?
Ah, it went out of business.
What?
I really used to like
this place, didn't I?
You loved it. We used to
come here all the time.
Wow. I feel inexplicably sad.
You kids are all about
the latest thing.
What's trending, what
cool party should I go to.
I don't get invited.
When you live that
way, you lose the raiz,
your roots. When
you live that way,
you lose your sense of...
Family traditions.
Yes, like family dinner night.
Ay. I know it doesn't
always go smoothly.
Sometimes we get into
fights or spill stuff,
but we still make food
from our family recipes.
And that keeps us connected
to our culture
and to each other.
Mom, I... I need to
go to the bathroom.
Can you wait right here?
Why does that speech
always make people
want to go to the bathroom?
Gretel! Gretel, where are you?
Veronica Hill here on the
scene at Casa Ropa Vieja,
where Hamster and Gretel are
fighting a Luchador-themed
supervillain, over a plate
of what my translation app
tells me is "old clothes."
Gretel, wait.
You don't need to fight anymore.
I don't?
KEVIN: I just realized family
dinner night isn't special
because we're eating ropa vieja.
It's special because we're
eating Mom's ropa vieja.
Of course, we shouldn't
buy it from a restaurant,
we should make it
from Mom's recipe
because that's our
family tradition.
We only have 20 minutes.
We can do it!
Well, there you have it.
Superhero Gretel has decided
to make her family recipe.
And although the
comedic violence
never rose to the
level of mayhem,
this story comes
to an annoyingly
heartfelt conclusion.
Up next,
who is the mysterious
balloon man-child
who is blowing up the Internet?
(YELPS)
♪ It's not the ropa vieja
that brings us together
♪ It's not just the meal
♪ It's not about
what's on the steak
♪ Or the onions,
paprika or peppers
♪ It's about how we feel
♪ And the memories
that we create
♪ Like when Dada wants to
kaka all over the kitchen
♪ And Tia Melissa
exploded the chicken
♪ Or I dropped that plate
full of hot empanadas
♪ And made a Jackson
Pollock on Mom's terracotta
♪ Through all these disasters
we've not been persuaded
♪ To lose the traditions
that we celebrated!
♪ Tradition
♪ It's a time
spent with family
♪ And that's what we've
learned, that tradition
♪ Can be linked to calamity
♪ Just like when we
burned the ropa vieja
♪ That brings us together
♪ It's the time
spent with family
♪ And that's what we've
learned, that tradition
♪ Can be linked to calamity
♪ Just like when we
burned the ropa vieja ♪
What took you so long?
Oh, uh, you know that
adolescent burning smell
I was telling you about?
Ay, ask your father.
And now for the final touch.
Is it ready? Mom's
right behind me.
Perfect. Now
we'll just... Ahh!
No, no, no, no, no! (GASPS)
(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)
Madre mia.
What is this?
We burned your ropa
vieja. And we worked
so hard to make a new one.
And then I dropped it.
You burned my ropa vieja?
What are you talking about?
It looks perfect.
Wait. The ropa vieja
was in the top oven?
Then, what's this?
That's your abuela's
special dirt cake.
Dirt cake?
It's cake that looks like dirt.
You know, so obnoxious neighbors
won't come over and eat it.
Oh! We thought that
was burned ropa vieja.
And so you made another
one from our family recipe.
That makes me so happy.
I guess you care about
family traditions after all.
We'll let your
father eat this one.
He won't know the difference.
♪ The ropa vieja ♪
duo that you heard about?
♪ Faster than a scooter
stronger than metal
♪ Who's the little girl and
her domesticated rodent?
♪ Who's still standing when
you see the dust settle?
♪ It's Hamster
Hamster, Hamster
♪ Hamster and Gretel
♪ If they can't do
it then nobody can
♪ Hamster, Hamster, Hamster
♪ Hamster and Gretel
♪ There's also Kevin
in the minivan ♪
Kevin, we have a problem.
Is it you? Sometimes
you're a problem.
Worse. Family dinner night.
(SIGHS) I already made plans.
What plans?
Well...
So basically the same thing
you do during the day,
but with more snacks.
Oh, yeah. Things get
pretty wild around here.
Well, I was gonna
go to Bailey's.
I don't want to stay
here and be bored.
I want to be bored
at Bailey's house.
We gotta stop this.
Um, Mom...
Oh, no. You are not getting
out of family dinner night.
My abuela had
family dinner night.
And her abuela had
family dinner night.
And I'm pretty sure
our caveman ancestors
had family dinner night.
So cancel your plans.
How'd you know we had plans?
You said, "Um, Mom"...
Um, honey...
Cancel your plans.
Oh, I have to go to the market
to pick up a few things.
My special ropa
vieja needs to cook
in the oven for two hours.
You have to watch
it while I'm gone.
We have to watch an
oven for two hours?
Family tradition.
So cancel your plans.
GRETEL: Two hours!
Why is it called
"ropa vieja" anyway?
That's just "old clothes."
'Cause it's stringy, I guess.
Wait, what are you doing?
I can cook it faster
with my heat vision.
Don't! Gretel, wait.
(SIZZLING)
(BOTH SCREAM)
Okay. Don't panic.
Do not panic.
We can get a replacement
before Mom gets back.
MOM: I'm back.
(BOTH SCREAM)
MOM: Why are you screaming?
I just forgot my shopping list.
I'll be right in there.
I just need to unlock the door.
Here it is.
You find some ropa
vieja. I'll stall Mom.
MOM: Here we go! Unlocking.
Mom. You know what I miss?
Mom and Kevin quality time.
Like when you used to
drag me to the supermarket
when I was a little kid.
Ah, you were so cute.
You were afraid of
the conveyor belt.
You thought it was
going to eat you.
(SCREAMING)
Um, yeah.
Let's go make some more
memories like that.
Ay, mi amore!
(SNIFFING) Do I smell smoke?
No, no. That's me.
Sometimes I smell like burning.
It's a puberty thing.
Ay, ask your father.
We need some ropa
vieja on the double.
Sorry. We don't serve rodents.
Indoor or patio?
Mmm...
It doesn't taste like Mom's.
Thanks anyway.
Sorry about the roof.
All I got is $5.
Hamster, got any money?
Keep the change, ma'am.
I quit.
And this is why we
don't serve rodents.
Looks like we're all done.
What! So fast?
You, you said we had
so much stuff to buy.
Yes, but with my little helper,
we got done in half the time.
Uh...
Honey, can you help me put stuff
on the conveyor belt?
SCARY VOICE: Kevin.
Kevin.
Kevin.
GRETEL: Kevin. The
armadillo is in the blender.
Repeat, the armadillo
is in the blender.
Does that mean you have
it or you don't have it?
GRETEL: Don't have
it. Obviously.
Um... Hey, Mom.
You know, I'm enjoying this
mother-son time so much,
maybe we could do
something else.
Ay, mi amore. That
makes me so happy.
I know just the thing
we could do together.
(CAMERA SHUTTER
CLICKS) (KEVIN LAUGHS)
Just like when you were young.
Yay!
This is so great.
(KIDDIE RIDE MUSIC PLAYING)
Have you guys found it yet?
Negative. The buffalo
is in the dishwasher.
What?
I changed the code.
Well, can you hurry up?
We're going as fast as we can.
Sorry. We don't
make ropa vieja.
Then, we'll just get
some chips and guac.
Oh, and a lump of
coal if you have it.
Uh, Kevin? Hiromi?
Ay! You're one of
Kevin's friends?
Get in the picture.
(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)
Mmm. Too salty.
Too spicy. Too ropa.
Too vieja. This
actually is old clothes.
In our defense, this
is a laundromat.
Hamster, what are
we going to do?
We haven't found
any good ropa vieja
and we're almost out of time.
Have you tried the Casa
Ropa Vieja on Green Street?
Casa Ropa Vieja?
We should have
looked there first.
Thanks, mister.
Hey, that mouse ate my pants.
I quit.
You used to love this
park when you were little.
It is kind of nice to be here.
Oh, look, the balloon man.
GRETEL: Still don't have it.
Uh, can you, slowly,
get me a balloon?
For old time's sake.
Of course, mi corazon.
Excuse me, sir.
Can we get...
Even slower than that.
Um, okay.
(SLOWLY) Excuse me, sir.
This is perfect!
Well, we only have
one order left.
We'll take it. I'll take it.
(MAN READING)
Yeah, Mom, I don't think
we need to document this moment.
(LAUGHS) Uh, Kevin...
Hi, Hiromi.
What are you doing here?
I'm here with my entire
photography class.
(CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING) Oh, good.
Now I have to move to another continent.
(MAN READING)
Is it done? Si.
This ropa vieja is mine.
For my family dinner.
Oh, 'cause I'm a
"super villain,"
I don't have a family or dinner?
I'm only gonna ask once
nicely. (CRACKS KNUCKLES)
Well, I'm not going
to ask at all,
meanly.
Oh, it is so on.
(LATIN MUSIC PLAYING)
KEVIN: Well, well, well.
Balloon man-child is
trending on the Internet,
so that feels good.
Mom, you posted this.
Well, I wasn't going to let
that photo club scoop me.
Oh, look, that's the old
farm we used to go to.
The place with the pony rides?
Why not?
Ah, it went out of business.
What?
I really used to like
this place, didn't I?
You loved it. We used to
come here all the time.
Wow. I feel inexplicably sad.
You kids are all about
the latest thing.
What's trending, what
cool party should I go to.
I don't get invited.
When you live that
way, you lose the raiz,
your roots. When
you live that way,
you lose your sense of...
Family traditions.
Yes, like family dinner night.
Ay. I know it doesn't
always go smoothly.
Sometimes we get into
fights or spill stuff,
but we still make food
from our family recipes.
And that keeps us connected
to our culture
and to each other.
Mom, I... I need to
go to the bathroom.
Can you wait right here?
Why does that speech
always make people
want to go to the bathroom?
Gretel! Gretel, where are you?
Veronica Hill here on the
scene at Casa Ropa Vieja,
where Hamster and Gretel are
fighting a Luchador-themed
supervillain, over a plate
of what my translation app
tells me is "old clothes."
Gretel, wait.
You don't need to fight anymore.
I don't?
KEVIN: I just realized family
dinner night isn't special
because we're eating ropa vieja.
It's special because we're
eating Mom's ropa vieja.
Of course, we shouldn't
buy it from a restaurant,
we should make it
from Mom's recipe
because that's our
family tradition.
We only have 20 minutes.
We can do it!
Well, there you have it.
Superhero Gretel has decided
to make her family recipe.
And although the
comedic violence
never rose to the
level of mayhem,
this story comes
to an annoyingly
heartfelt conclusion.
Up next,
who is the mysterious
balloon man-child
who is blowing up the Internet?
(YELPS)
♪ It's not the ropa vieja
that brings us together
♪ It's not just the meal
♪ It's not about
what's on the steak
♪ Or the onions,
paprika or peppers
♪ It's about how we feel
♪ And the memories
that we create
♪ Like when Dada wants to
kaka all over the kitchen
♪ And Tia Melissa
exploded the chicken
♪ Or I dropped that plate
full of hot empanadas
♪ And made a Jackson
Pollock on Mom's terracotta
♪ Through all these disasters
we've not been persuaded
♪ To lose the traditions
that we celebrated!
♪ Tradition
♪ It's a time
spent with family
♪ And that's what we've
learned, that tradition
♪ Can be linked to calamity
♪ Just like when we
burned the ropa vieja
♪ That brings us together
♪ It's the time
spent with family
♪ And that's what we've
learned, that tradition
♪ Can be linked to calamity
♪ Just like when we
burned the ropa vieja ♪
What took you so long?
Oh, uh, you know that
adolescent burning smell
I was telling you about?
Ay, ask your father.
And now for the final touch.
Is it ready? Mom's
right behind me.
Perfect. Now
we'll just... Ahh!
No, no, no, no, no! (GASPS)
(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)
Madre mia.
What is this?
We burned your ropa
vieja. And we worked
so hard to make a new one.
And then I dropped it.
You burned my ropa vieja?
What are you talking about?
It looks perfect.
Wait. The ropa vieja
was in the top oven?
Then, what's this?
That's your abuela's
special dirt cake.
Dirt cake?
It's cake that looks like dirt.
You know, so obnoxious neighbors
won't come over and eat it.
Oh! We thought that
was burned ropa vieja.
And so you made another
one from our family recipe.
That makes me so happy.
I guess you care about
family traditions after all.
We'll let your
father eat this one.
He won't know the difference.
♪ The ropa vieja ♪