Growing Pains (1985–1992): Season 2, Episode 15 - Thank God It's Friday - full transcript

Hello, Ben Seaver's residence.

Carol, it's your
stupid boyfriend.

Shut up, Ben, just shut up.

Hang up the phone, Ben.

- Ben, is your mom home yet?
- Nope.

I thought I heard her car.

That's Mike. He washed his car.

He's driving it back and forth
on the driveway to air-dry it.

She better hurry or we're
gonna miss the start of that movie.

I don't get why you guys wanna
spend Friday night at a movie...

when you could stay home with
me on the best TV night of the week.



It's like this, Ben.

Every once in a while, your
mom and I like to go out together...

just to celebrate the fact
that we have three great kids.

Sure, Dad.

Besides, Tuesday
night is the best TV night.

And, oh, Ben, this is a new sitter
tonight, so please be kind to her, okay?

I don't need a sitter.

We've been over that.

I just mean the guy taking out
Carol cancelled so she can watch me.

Well, I hope I can
catch the sitter.

I'm on the phone, pea brain.

Hi, honey. Hi, Ben.

TGIF.

Oh, you said it. I just wanna
put my feet up and relax.



- Mom, you forgot the movie.
- What movie?

The one Dad's been
looking forward to all week.

Well, it's okay, Ben. We'll have just as
much fun staying home with you tonight.

And Carol.

What happened to her
date with Bobby Winnet?

He's grounded.

But I didn't do anything.

It's Carol's boyfriend. He got his
third speeding ticket in six months.

Ha-ha. All right, Bobby.

Um... I mean, you know,
somebody should speak to the boy.

Talk about bad news.

Bobby's grounded, the date's
cancelled, you're bummed. We heard.

Now, if you'll excuse
me, I have to go shower.

Big plans tonight?

No, just me and Eddie and
Boner are gonna go hang out.

You're gonna shower
for Eddie and Boner?

Come on, Dad, I'm showering
because I might get lucky.

Define "get lucky."

Um... Well, you know, I might
run into one of my teachers...

and I sure want
to be clean for that.

Ten bucks says he's
going trolling for chicks.

Okay, okay, Ben, here's
your beans and weenies.

And, Carol, you get
the macho meat beef.

And, Jason, here's your
it-sure-tastes-like-chicken chicken.

Hello? Yeah.

Mike, it's Eddie!

Take a message, I'm shaving.

What's he shaving?

Hey, those two chin hairs can
get kind of unruly, you know.

I'll tell him, Eddie. Eddie
says what's keeping you?

There's a thousand vices out
there with your name on them.

Yes, I'll have a talk with him.

Thank you.

Uh, Dad, there's no need
for you to have a talk with me.

After the fine job you and Dad have
done teaching me the proper values...

I don't think there's gonna
be anything to worry about.

I mean, what can you
do, lock me in my room?

- Hmm.
- Hey.

- I'll get it.
- Okay, so I'll see you guys at 1.

And there's no need at all
for you guys to wait up for me.

So whose turn is it to
wait up, yours or mine?

So, like, hi.

Jason, you forgot to
cancel the babysitter?

I thought you did.

Trudy, I'm sorry, we changed
our plans. I'll run you home.

Oh, wow, I'm not allowed.

Excuse me?

My mom and dad are out for the evening
and I'm not allowed to be home alone.

Wait a minute here.

Let me get this straight.
My sitter needs a sitter?

So, what do you guys wanna do?

We could try Bowl Your
Brains Out, 99-cent special.

- Again?
- Then you think of something.

The youth center's having
a teenage mixer and fish fry.

And you're having a breakdown.

Yeah, I got it, I got it. We could park
outside a drive-in and lip-read a movie.

That's good. That's real good.

Come on, man, it's Swedish.

Roland Taylor.

- Roland, man, how you doing?
- I'm good, Seaver.

- Yeah.
- Eddie, Boner, how's it going?

Hey. How's college?

Forget college. How's
the co-ed dorms?

- Ha-ha-ha.
- So, what have you been up to?

Just picking up some pizzas
for a little get-together. You?

Oh, big stuff, big stuff.

Yeah, we got some dates with
some Swedish women tonight.

So the night's
working out for all of us.

It's good to see you guys.
- You too.

What's he got going?

Eight large pizzas.
That's 74.55.

There's 80. You keep the change.

Hey, Roland, about this
little get-together tonight.

It's just your standard young girls, heated
pool, no parents, let's-get-crazy event.

Yo, Rolando.

Roland, Roland, let me
give you a hand here.

Boner, help the man out.

Wait a minute.

Are you guys really so pathetic that you're
practically begging to come to the party?

- Yes.
- Roland, please.

Yes.

Okay.

The food's over there.

The drinks are over
there, and the women...

What the heck,
they're everywhere.

Hey, Roland. Roland, so
whose house is this, anyway?

Beats me.

- Will you look at this place?
- Yeah, I'm looking, man.

- Holy mackerel, Eddie.
- What? What?

Over there by the piano.
Is that Lana from Dewey?

Wait, Lana who?

Lana "My daddy gave me a
Porsche for my birthday" Faraday.

Oh, wow, that could be. I've never
been in the same room with her.

Oh, look, man. And
there's Henry and Peter.

Look, there's John Simpson.

Can you actually believe we're
at the same party with these guys?

- You're right. Come on, we should go.
- No, no.

No, there is no reason why we
cannot run with this crowd, right?

- Yeah.
- Just stay cool, be loose.

Wow, would you guys
take a look at this mama?

Keep it cool,
Bone. Cool it, okay?

Come on, this is a
real classy bunch.

Excuse me.

Gentlemen, start your engines.

I gotta go to the john first.

Hey, hey. Wait your turn, bozo.

Oh, sorry.

Did you guys notice something?

Rich people go to the
bathroom in groups.

Come on, man, didn't
you know that? Come on.

Don't embarrass us in
front of these people, Boner.

Excuse me, that chick wants me.

Get real, huh? She wants me.

Yeah, well, you guys
discuss it, all right?

- Uh, heh. Hi.
- Hi.

Um, I'm sorry, but I just had to tell
you that you look just like a movie star.

Really? Which one?

Which one? Well, you know,
that real sexy movie star.

- Rob Lowe?
- Right.

No, no.

You're cute.

Yeah, well, it's a look.

So would you like to
go to the john with me?

No, no, no, that's okay. You go.

Oh, I'm sorry, you probably
think that I'm after your stash.

Huh?

It's my treat.

You are cool, aren't you?

Um... Cool. Yeah.

Our turn.

- Uh... Listen, I gotta go to the bathroom.
- Right.

I don't mean the
bathroom. The bathroom.

Rhonda, your parents are
on the phone, long distance.

Okay. Don't go away.

Mike Seaver.

- Right?
- Yeah, Lana.

Lana, you have no idea
how nice it is to see you.

Oh, nice to see you too.

Look, Lana, don't freak, but
there is cocaine at this party.

Oh, I should hope so.

You're funny. Don't freak.

That's great. That's
great. Ha-ha-ha.

Guys. Guys, do you have any
idea what kind of a party this is?

- Oh, yeah, it's a great one.
- It's not, man, it's not.

Listen, there's cocaine at this
party, right there in that bathroom.

- Yeah.
- Wow.

So rich people don't necessarily
go to the bathroom together after all.

Come on, guys, we're not really
interested in cocaine, are we?

- No, I'm not.
- Not me.

Let's just get the
hell out of here.

- But I am interested in Lana. Ha-ha-ha.
- Oh, yeah.

Lana? She does cocaine too, man.

I thought she was cool.

Whoa, Mikey, you know, a
lot of cool people use cocaine.

Eddie, that stuff
is killing people.

It's not gonna hurt
us if we use it just this

one time with Lana
and her female friends.

Yeah.

I'm sure that everybody who's
been screwed up by that...

they felt the same
way the first time.

Yeah.

And you're saying
we're that wishy-washy?

Yeah.

Would you look at the man?

I rest my case.
Come on, let's split.

Mike, everyone's gonna
think we're weenies if we go.

They won't, man. Look, none
of these people even know us.

We can just slip out of
here and who will know?

Hey, Seaver.

I found six more Dewey
Hooters here tonight.

- Hi, Mike.
- Hey, Seaver.

Hi.

Oh, good.

Who wants some
fresh-from-the-oven mock apple pie?

Shh!

- Honey, mock apple?
- Sure.

- What did I miss?
- Plenty.

The Colombian cartel has these
mules running a half ton of uncut snow...

into the Miami pipeline.

We're talking a street value
of 16 million big ones here.

Sounds low to me.

Well, I got a great idea.

Why don't we watch a
Disney movie on tape.

- Yeah.
- Mom, not in front of Trudy.

How about Cinderella with
all those cute little mice?

When we had mice last year,
you didn't think they were so cute.

Maggie, exactly
what am I eating here?

This tastes like a soggy
cracker or something.

That's my dad.

Well, Trudy, it's been nice
having you as our guest.

Guest?

Does that mean you're gonna
try to get out of paying me?

Um, um, um... Of
course not. Jason?

Oh, Jason, yeah, right, sure.

Here, Trudy.

Thanks. Anytime you want me to
babysit you guys, just let me know.

Okay.

Now, this was my favorite
movie when I was a little girl.

Oh, boy, am I tired.

Yeah, I'm one
tired little puppy.

Good night, Dad. - Good night.

- Good night, Mom.
- Good night.

Heh. You know, when I was 10, if I
knew half of what Ben knows now...

I'd have been dangerous.

Honey, Ben is dangerous.

- Hi, Mike.
- Hi.

We're dead. We're dead.

- Everyone's gonna think we're weenies.
- Not necessarily. I got an idea.

We don't have to say we
don't wanna try cocaine.

All we have to say is we
have to be home before 10.

What's so funny?

I was thinking how upset
my mom and dad would be...

if they knew I was
having this party.

I'll bet.

Well, see, it's their coke.

Now, where were we?

Um... Uh, look...

- I just wanted to say that...
- That I'm Eddie and that's Boner up there.

Hi. Well, let's make
this a group toot.

- Lana?
- Eddie?

Seav, Seav, you can be cool
or you can be a wimp here, huh?

Rah, rah. The hot tub
is looking pretty good.

It'll look better once
we visit the bathroom.

Don't mind if I do.

Oh, hot-tubbing with Lana
Faraday. I can't stand it.

It's lucky I'm
wearing my trunks.

I ran out of clean underwear.

Shall we?

Don't blow this
for us, Mike, huh?

Is something wrong?

Um...

Look, I'm just not
in the mood, okay?

He's just trying to get all
the drugs out of his system.

Eddie, please.

If you're gonna have a
discussion, could we use the john?

Just wait a minute, okay?
Now, what's going on here?

Um...

Look, I've never
done coke before.

For a second there, I
thought you guys were narcs.

Especially the
strange-looking one.

Thank you.

Look, if it's your first time,
we'll be gentle with you.

- First time here.
- First time, first time.

Hey.

I don't wanna do coke, okay?

Hey, come on,
what's wrong with that?

Um... I'm gonna go
check on the hot tub.

I'll come with you.

Excuse us, boys.

Guys, I feel like a jerk.
Let's get out of here.

Are you guys coming or what?

Oh, Mike, she's
checking on the hot tub.

Eddie, can we go?

Let's put it to a vote, huh?

Look, we came together,
we should leave together.

I thought you guys
were my friends.

All right, you guys can stay
or you can go, but I'm leaving.

I think I wanna stay, Mike.

Boner?

Mike, friends don't make friends
do something they don't want to.

Exactly.

You know...

I never thought Seaver
would wimp out like that.

What?

I'm confused, man. We've been
running with Mikey since the first grade.

We know he's not
a wimp, he's cool.

So are you in or
are you out, boys?

Well, 2:15 a.m.
That's nice, Mike.

- Dad.
- Mike.

It is Mike, isn't it?

No, it couldn't be. My Mike was
supposed to be home at 1 a.m.

- Uh... Dad, I know I missed my curfew.
- Oh.

Well, you admit you
have one. That's progress.

Hey, Dad, isn't tonight the time when we
turn the clocks back for the time change?

No, Mike, that's in October, which is
when you're gonna be grounded till...

unless you give me
a good explanation.

- Okay...
- No, wait, let me get comfortable here.

You know how I
love these stories.

So, what'll it be tonight, Mike?

You were... Oh, you
saved some lives I bet, huh?

Wait, wait.

I bet you ran into those
darn gypsies again. Hmm?

Are you okay?

Dad...

Can I talk to you as a friend and not as
a guy who could make my life miserable?

What's wrong, Mike?

Dad, I gotta know that what I
tell you won't be used against me.

Okay, what is it?

So I have your word that
whatever I say, you're not...

Mike, just say it, okay?

Okay.

Me and Eddie and Boner...

we ended up at a party where
everybody was doing cocaine.

Cocaine? Mike...

Remember, you're not
my dad, you're a friend.

Cocaine?

Really?

Yeah, and if you didn't
do it, you were a wimp.

Cocaine?

Dad, I've never felt so
much pressure in my life.

- And?
- Even from Boner and Eddie.

- And?
- Dad, it was like I didn't have a choice.

- And?
- I didn't do it.

You didn't do it,
as in you did not?

I didn't do the stupid drug.

Well, that's great,
Mike, that's...

That's wonderful.

I always figured you'd
make that right choice...

if you had to face that,
but I'm relieved, Mike.

Dad, Dad, that's not it.

What?

Dad, I've been thinking
about this since the party.

I have been
driving and driving...

Mike, Mike... you
did the right thing.

Yeah, that's what kills me.

I don't understand.

Dad, I know I
did the right thing.

It's just that I feel like...

Like everybody's
gonna laugh at me.

And some of those
people did laugh.

Mike, you're never gonna
be able to please everybody.

Yeah, well, tonight I
didn't please anybody.

Except yourself.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Hey, what you did tonight
took real courage, Mike.

I admire you.

- Thanks.
- You sleep on it.

Good night, Dad.

Good night, Mike.

Thanks, Dad.

Um... Eddie and
Boner called for you.

What?

They said they didn't go to the
bathroom and they don't want to.

Well, what do you know?

What does that mean?

A lot.

What a world.

Hi.

You know, a lot of people
will tell you drugs are cool.

The same people who are saying
that everybody's doing something.

So, what's your problem?

Well, they're wrong.

Everybody's not doing drugs, and
you don't have to try them to be cool.

Look, I'm not trying to tell
you how to live your lives.

But I am telling you that you don't
have to do something you don't want to...

just to keep your friends happy.

I mean, if that's the way that they
feel, then maybe they're not your friends.

And maybe they're not as
cool as you thought they were.

And one last thing.

I'm not being paid to say this.

This is how I feel.

And if you think that
makes me uncool...

then you're wrong.