Growing Pains (1985–1992): Season 2, Episode 13 - Some Enchanted Evening - full transcript
Carol is eager for Bobby to invite her to the Dewey High winter formal, but he doesn't seem interested. Meanwhile, Mike has three girls courting him to be their date for the dance.
I had a great time
tonight, Bobby.
Yeah, me too.
I could like anything
if I went with you.
- Even the ballet?
- Sure.
Why? You got tickets?
No.
- Um...
- Yes?
- I was gonna ask if you wanted...
- I'd love to go.
- Go where?
- Well, wherever you were gonna suggest.
No, I was gonna ask if you
wanted to study tomorrow night.
Oh, sure.
- Well...
- Uh-huh.
Boy, isn't this school
year just flying by?
I mean, well, first, it was
summer and then it was fall...
and pretty soon it'll be time for
the Dewey High Winter Dance.
Yeah, the winter dance. I...
I gotta go. Good night, Carol.
- Hey, Bobby.
- Hey, Mark.
Mike.
Nice timing, Mike.
That was just my surly
sister. Don't mind her.
Whoa, whoa.
Uh, Andrea, I wanna thank you for driving
me home while my car was in the shop.
- My pleasure.
- Whoa, hey, hold on a minute, hold...
You're acting like I owe you a
kiss because you paid for the gas...
and the movie and the food.
- You don't wanna kiss me?
- Of course I wanna kiss you.
It's just that...
Well, I got my
reputation to think about.
Okay, I'm done thinking.
So did Bobby ask you
to the dance last night?
Well, not exactly.
- No?
- No.
I could die.
Did he even mention
the winter formal?
- Uh, no.
- No?
I brought up the dance.
- You didn't.
- I did.
I could die.
Carol, this is not a good thing.
- Why?
- Why?
Men don't like women
who usurp their masculinity.
I didn't usurp, okay?
Carol, where have you been?
Men like women who let them be in
charge even if you have to act dumb.
Which I'm fully prepared to do.
Look, I didn't ask Bobby to the
winter formal, I just sort of hinted.
Carol, football players do not
take their tutors to the prom.
They take blond
girls in pleated skirts...
who can turn their bodies
into letters of the alphabet.
What's up, Chris?
Don't turn around, okay?
It's Bobby Winnet.
He's coming this way.
- Thanks, Shelley.
- Run.
No, no, no, now
don't be ridiculous.
If you run away, he'll know
that we're talking about him.
So just walk away very cool...
and very, very calmly, okay?
- Hi.
- Hi.
Carol, about studying
together tomorrow night...
Oh, yeah, is, uh, 5 too early?
Uh, no. I can't make it.
- You can't?
- No, no, something came up.
But I'd like to call you
and talk to you about it.
I mean, well, if
you're gonna be home.
I might be.
Ring, ring.
- Hi.
- Shh.
Pick up that phone and you'll
never use that hand again.
Oh, big talk.
Uh, hey, Samantha, um,
thanks for the ride home today.
My pleasure.
Oh, and, uh, thanks for waiting that
extra hour until I got out of detention.
- Oh, here are your books.
- Thanks.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Oh, I love this time of year,
right before the winter formal.
Girls get so desperate.
- You're a pig.
- Thank you.
Ben, if you can't make
the phone ring, leave.
- Okay. Ahem.
- Okay.
Aah! It's a miracle. I am the
total master of a new power.
- Mike, the phone is ringing.
- So answer it.
No, no. All right, all right.
Pick up the phone, very calmly, say hello
and call for me like I'm not in the room.
- Okay?
- Okay.
Hello? Just a minute.
Carol!
Yes?
It's for Mike!
What?
- It's Eddie.
- Well, hang it up.
Carol...
Carol, you can't just hang up on
every phone call that's not for you.
I did it again.
Hello?
No, I'm sorry, Ben's dead.
Hey!
- What are you doing?
- I'm calling Eddie back.
- No.
- Yes.
No.
That's the last
call. I'm bushed.
Hello?
Hey.
Hey, I'm using the phone!
Ow! Ow!
Hey, that hurt.
Hello? Oh, hi, Bobby,
lucky you caught me.
I was just heading out the door.
- Hi, honey.
- Hi.
- So, what's for dinner?
- So, what's for dinner?
Oh.
You know, you guys should know
that your daughter just brutalized me.
That's my girl.
Mike, somebody
named Andrea called.
She said, "Winter
is in the air."
Also, Samantha called to quote:
"Formalize what she should
bring you for lunch tomorrow."
And Sheena called
just to say, "Hey."
What, what, only three messages?
Michael, I think it's very unfair
of you to lead these girls on.
Lead them on?
Mom, look...
fact: the enrollment at
Dewey High is 3-to-1 female.
Fact: the dance of
the year is coming up.
And fact: even Boner
has women calling him.
Good Lord.
Out of my way, armpit.
There, there, see, see, did I do
anything to provoke that vicious attack?
That wasn't very nice.
What did Mike do?
- Nothing.
- Nothing is right.
He's just slime, like every other male
that's ever walked the face of the Earth.
Maybe you'd better
handle this one.
Carol, you don't mean all men.
Yes, I do.
But that's very
insulting to your father.
I don't think of Dad as a man.
Is it the shirt?
You know what I mean. I'm
talking about hot, good-looking guys.
I sense a trend here.
Oh, I get it.
Bobby invited somebody else
to this winter fling thing, huh?
Typical of men who use
women and then discard them...
like so much garbage.
You know, that
really hurts, Carol.
It hurts that you see me as a
guy who treats girls very crummily.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I
have to return some calls...
and brighten the day of
some very lucky young ladies.
So do you want to explain
men to Carol or women to Mike?
I'd like someone to
explain women to me.
Just kidding, just one of those
charming, whimsical little remarks.
Oh, Mike.
Oh, Carol, I'm so sorry that
Bobby asked someone else to the...
I don't know that he
asked someone else.
I don't know what his plans are.
Well, honey, you know that
Bobby's always been a little shy.
Oh, yeah? He wasn't so
shy the other night when...
Never mind.
- What other night?
- That's not the point.
The point is, the dance is
only a week and a half away...
and he hasn't asked me yet.
Maybe you should ask him.
The only kind of women
who ask men to dances...
are the kind who
don't shave their legs.
Carol, there is absolutely nothing wrong
with a woman asking a man out on a date...
and it is extremely easy to do.
Oh, sure.
It's true. Watch.
Oh, Jason? JASON: Yeah?
Would you like to go to
the movies on Friday night?
- Sure.
- See?
- What do you wanna see?
- Oh, nothing.
We're not really going. We
already have plans on Friday.
Oh.
Where was I?
Um, you were telling me that I was
wrong to think that women don't make sense.
I'm just saying it's a major mistake
to follow your mother's advice.
Yeah, if I followed my
mother's advice, I'd be a Quaker.
Bye.
- Hi, Bobby.
- Carol.
Listen, we've been going
out for, what now, two months?
- Yeah.
- Right.
And in that time, we've
gotten to be good friends.
Yeah.
Uh-huh.
So we're comfortable around each
other and we don't have to put up any act.
- Yeah.
- Great.
So if I were gonna ask you to take
me to the winter formal, you'd say...?
- No.
- Great.
Oh.
I can't.
Well, that's great. I'm
glad we got that cleared up.
Oh, gee, look at the time, um...
I gotta go, bye.
Carol.
I...
That's my football.
"For that zesty combination
of herbs and spices...
always remember to shake
vigorously before opening."
Okay.
What are you doing?
I'm, uh, cooking.
What does it look like?
Oh, yeah.
- Hi, Mike.
- Hey, Mom.
You know, Dad, this winter formal
thing is gonna be the death of me.
All right, if you had to choose between a
blond, a redhead and a brunette beauty...
who would you pick?
Well, Mike, there's much more to
a woman than the color of her hair.
There's also the
size of her intellect.
Hi, Carol, how was your day?
Everything's fine now. I don't
know what's been the matter with me.
I mean, new clothes,
makeup, contact lenses.
Thinking someone would
wanna take me to a dance.
Please, I mean, it's just not me. I
mean, what am I trying to change?
I was just fine working
hard and studying.
I was just fine without
trying to be silly and popular.
I mean, who needs
all these risks?
Well, not me.
I guess that means she
didn't have a good day.
Mom, I want to donate
all my makeup to the poor.
Oh, Carol, what happened?
Nothing.
Nothing important. I just...
asked Bobby to
the prom and he...
turned me down.
- Oh, honey.
- Oh, pumpkin, that's a shame.
It's a decision I gotta make.
I don't need to see this.
I'm way ahead of you.
Oh, honey, what did Bobby say?
"No." How many times
do I have to repeat it?
Well, honey, maybe you
just asked him too late.
Honey, there has
to be some reason.
Yeah, me. I mean, he just
doesn't want to take me.
Well, then he's out of his mind.
And that's a professional opinion.
Yes, you're right.
I mean, after all, I've
learned from my pain.
I mean, who needs a social life
when you have an IQ of 144, right?
I want five minutes with that football
player without his protective equipment.
Don't you get irrational too.
But, Jason, it would be a nice
gesture for you to get a little irrational.
Okay, if you want to
vent, go ahead and vent.
Vent, one of us
has to remain calm.
One of us has to do
thinking and observing and...
What are you babbling about?
Well, I'm gonna call that little
slime bag sucker right now.
Carol, we wanna leave in about
five minutes. Are you ready?
No, I am not.
I do not want to go to some stupid
place to take my mind off the fact...
that there's some stupid dance
tonight that I don't even care about.
Six minutes will be fine.
If you're looking for enthusiasm, it
might help to tell where we're going.
Well, I don't think we can expect
much enthusiasm out of Carol tonight.
I was talking about me.
Ben, why are you eating? I told
you we were going out to dinner.
No, we aren't. Where we're
going, they don't have dinner.
Shh.
You tell our 10-year-old son where
we're going, but you won't tell me?
Don't take it personally, Mom.
No woman can keep a secret.
Ha. Where would he get
such a ridiculous idea?
Not from you, Dad.
Oh, wow, Mike,
you look fabulous.
What, this old thing?
Let me get my camera.
Hey, so who's the lucky date?
Well, it was a
tough decision, Dad.
And I've given it a lot of
thought, and I mean a lot.
Who's kidding who, Dad?
I've lost sleep over this.
And there was only one decision
that seemed to make any sense.
Excuse me.
Hello, Mike.
- Hello.
- How do you do?
Hey.
Mom, Dad, this is the stunning
Samantha, lovely Andrea...
and the legendary
Sheena Berkowitz.
Well, you look lovely.
The whole crowd of you.
Cheese.
We'll see you
guys a little bit later.
Oh, and, uh, there's
no need to wait up.
So who wants to drive? - Me.
I get to sit in the
back with Mike.
Who says?
Well? Say something.
That's my boy.
Oh, look at Carol.
Doesn't she look beautiful?
Oh, honey, you are perfectly
dressed for a wonderful evening of...
Something or other.
I hate this whole entire
gross disgusting idea.
You're going to have fun than
you've had since you were 6 years old.
Come on.
I'm gonna puke.
Wow, it is gonna be a fun night.
Oh, please, God, make it stop.
It's okay, Ben, get up.
My, my, here it is, the
Empire State Building.
Spectacular.
Oh, souvenirs. What a view.
Can we go now?
Jason, it is very late.
Pish tosh. The night is young.
Pish tosh?
When are we getting to
the surprise destination?
- This is it.
- You're kidding.
No, he isn't. Surprise.
Don't you remember when you
were 6 years old we came here...
and you looked through
that very telescope...
and you said, "Daddy,
there must be magic up here.
Even New Jersey looks pretty."
Dad, I'm not 6 anymore.
Well, I know, but I just thought maybe
you could use a little magic tonight...
and maybe your old
dad could help out.
- Okay, who wants a King Kong souvenir?
- Me, me, me.
How did I know that?
Well, it really is
beautiful up here.
Look at all those little
cars. They look like little...
Ants. I know, Mom, please.
Carol, your father meant well.
I know he did...
but thinking that the
Empire State Building...
would make me forget
that I was totally humiliated...
just makes Dad
seem kind of... Lame.
- No.
- Yes, I heard you.
No, no, no, honey,
even if I thought that I
would never, ever,
ever call your father...
- Lame.
- Don't say it again.
Okay, but it is lame.
Well...
yes, but we never
had this conversation.
What conversation?
Thank you.
Why is your father
talking to that janitor?
Oh, that's just Bobby Winnet.
Bobby Winnet?
Oh, Lord, forgive me for what I said
about Jason, and don't ever let him know.
Mom, Dad's bringing
him over here.
Well, what a co-inki-dink.
Look who I found.
- Um, hi.
- Hi.
Your old ma...
Your father promised me he
wouldn't tell nobody I was working here.
I didn't tell a soul.
- He told you that?
- When he called me.
- You called him?
- Yeah, yelling.
This job is why you couldn't
take me to the dance?
Why else wouldn't I take you?
Well, I don't know.
I thought maybe...
If this is gonna get
mushy, I'm gonna jump.
Bye, Ben.
Um, Dr. Seaver...
if it's okay, can I
drive Carol home?
I mean, I get off work at 11:00.
- Oh, gee, Bobby, I don't know...
- Dad.
Don't be too late, sweetheart.
- We won't.
- Bye, Bobby.
- Bye.
Thanks, Dad.
Oh, honey, I'm sorry I ever
thought your whole idea was...
- Lame?
- Oh, I never thought that.
Yeah, you thought that.
Well, why didn't you just
tell me you had to work?
I didn't want anybody to
know that Bobby Winnet...
captain of the football
team, had a job doing this.
Especially you.
Well, I don't mind.
It's disgusting.
Don't worry, I'm
used to disgusting.
Remember, I have two brothers?
Carol, I really wanted
to take you to that dance.
And I really wanted
to go with you.
Hey, wait here.
I know this isn't
gonna be too clear.
May I have this dance?
Sure.
Wait.
Okay, I'm ready now.
I had a lousy time.
Yeah, well, I had
a lousy time too.
Who needs you, any of you?
You're a total pig.
It was the worst
night of my life.
Women.
You said it.
tonight, Bobby.
Yeah, me too.
I could like anything
if I went with you.
- Even the ballet?
- Sure.
Why? You got tickets?
No.
- Um...
- Yes?
- I was gonna ask if you wanted...
- I'd love to go.
- Go where?
- Well, wherever you were gonna suggest.
No, I was gonna ask if you
wanted to study tomorrow night.
Oh, sure.
- Well...
- Uh-huh.
Boy, isn't this school
year just flying by?
I mean, well, first, it was
summer and then it was fall...
and pretty soon it'll be time for
the Dewey High Winter Dance.
Yeah, the winter dance. I...
I gotta go. Good night, Carol.
- Hey, Bobby.
- Hey, Mark.
Mike.
Nice timing, Mike.
That was just my surly
sister. Don't mind her.
Whoa, whoa.
Uh, Andrea, I wanna thank you for driving
me home while my car was in the shop.
- My pleasure.
- Whoa, hey, hold on a minute, hold...
You're acting like I owe you a
kiss because you paid for the gas...
and the movie and the food.
- You don't wanna kiss me?
- Of course I wanna kiss you.
It's just that...
Well, I got my
reputation to think about.
Okay, I'm done thinking.
So did Bobby ask you
to the dance last night?
Well, not exactly.
- No?
- No.
I could die.
Did he even mention
the winter formal?
- Uh, no.
- No?
I brought up the dance.
- You didn't.
- I did.
I could die.
Carol, this is not a good thing.
- Why?
- Why?
Men don't like women
who usurp their masculinity.
I didn't usurp, okay?
Carol, where have you been?
Men like women who let them be in
charge even if you have to act dumb.
Which I'm fully prepared to do.
Look, I didn't ask Bobby to the
winter formal, I just sort of hinted.
Carol, football players do not
take their tutors to the prom.
They take blond
girls in pleated skirts...
who can turn their bodies
into letters of the alphabet.
What's up, Chris?
Don't turn around, okay?
It's Bobby Winnet.
He's coming this way.
- Thanks, Shelley.
- Run.
No, no, no, now
don't be ridiculous.
If you run away, he'll know
that we're talking about him.
So just walk away very cool...
and very, very calmly, okay?
- Hi.
- Hi.
Carol, about studying
together tomorrow night...
Oh, yeah, is, uh, 5 too early?
Uh, no. I can't make it.
- You can't?
- No, no, something came up.
But I'd like to call you
and talk to you about it.
I mean, well, if
you're gonna be home.
I might be.
Ring, ring.
- Hi.
- Shh.
Pick up that phone and you'll
never use that hand again.
Oh, big talk.
Uh, hey, Samantha, um,
thanks for the ride home today.
My pleasure.
Oh, and, uh, thanks for waiting that
extra hour until I got out of detention.
- Oh, here are your books.
- Thanks.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Oh, I love this time of year,
right before the winter formal.
Girls get so desperate.
- You're a pig.
- Thank you.
Ben, if you can't make
the phone ring, leave.
- Okay. Ahem.
- Okay.
Aah! It's a miracle. I am the
total master of a new power.
- Mike, the phone is ringing.
- So answer it.
No, no. All right, all right.
Pick up the phone, very calmly, say hello
and call for me like I'm not in the room.
- Okay?
- Okay.
Hello? Just a minute.
Carol!
Yes?
It's for Mike!
What?
- It's Eddie.
- Well, hang it up.
Carol...
Carol, you can't just hang up on
every phone call that's not for you.
I did it again.
Hello?
No, I'm sorry, Ben's dead.
Hey!
- What are you doing?
- I'm calling Eddie back.
- No.
- Yes.
No.
That's the last
call. I'm bushed.
Hello?
Hey.
Hey, I'm using the phone!
Ow! Ow!
Hey, that hurt.
Hello? Oh, hi, Bobby,
lucky you caught me.
I was just heading out the door.
- Hi, honey.
- Hi.
- So, what's for dinner?
- So, what's for dinner?
Oh.
You know, you guys should know
that your daughter just brutalized me.
That's my girl.
Mike, somebody
named Andrea called.
She said, "Winter
is in the air."
Also, Samantha called to quote:
"Formalize what she should
bring you for lunch tomorrow."
And Sheena called
just to say, "Hey."
What, what, only three messages?
Michael, I think it's very unfair
of you to lead these girls on.
Lead them on?
Mom, look...
fact: the enrollment at
Dewey High is 3-to-1 female.
Fact: the dance of
the year is coming up.
And fact: even Boner
has women calling him.
Good Lord.
Out of my way, armpit.
There, there, see, see, did I do
anything to provoke that vicious attack?
That wasn't very nice.
What did Mike do?
- Nothing.
- Nothing is right.
He's just slime, like every other male
that's ever walked the face of the Earth.
Maybe you'd better
handle this one.
Carol, you don't mean all men.
Yes, I do.
But that's very
insulting to your father.
I don't think of Dad as a man.
Is it the shirt?
You know what I mean. I'm
talking about hot, good-looking guys.
I sense a trend here.
Oh, I get it.
Bobby invited somebody else
to this winter fling thing, huh?
Typical of men who use
women and then discard them...
like so much garbage.
You know, that
really hurts, Carol.
It hurts that you see me as a
guy who treats girls very crummily.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I
have to return some calls...
and brighten the day of
some very lucky young ladies.
So do you want to explain
men to Carol or women to Mike?
I'd like someone to
explain women to me.
Just kidding, just one of those
charming, whimsical little remarks.
Oh, Mike.
Oh, Carol, I'm so sorry that
Bobby asked someone else to the...
I don't know that he
asked someone else.
I don't know what his plans are.
Well, honey, you know that
Bobby's always been a little shy.
Oh, yeah? He wasn't so
shy the other night when...
Never mind.
- What other night?
- That's not the point.
The point is, the dance is
only a week and a half away...
and he hasn't asked me yet.
Maybe you should ask him.
The only kind of women
who ask men to dances...
are the kind who
don't shave their legs.
Carol, there is absolutely nothing wrong
with a woman asking a man out on a date...
and it is extremely easy to do.
Oh, sure.
It's true. Watch.
Oh, Jason? JASON: Yeah?
Would you like to go to
the movies on Friday night?
- Sure.
- See?
- What do you wanna see?
- Oh, nothing.
We're not really going. We
already have plans on Friday.
Oh.
Where was I?
Um, you were telling me that I was
wrong to think that women don't make sense.
I'm just saying it's a major mistake
to follow your mother's advice.
Yeah, if I followed my
mother's advice, I'd be a Quaker.
Bye.
- Hi, Bobby.
- Carol.
Listen, we've been going
out for, what now, two months?
- Yeah.
- Right.
And in that time, we've
gotten to be good friends.
Yeah.
Uh-huh.
So we're comfortable around each
other and we don't have to put up any act.
- Yeah.
- Great.
So if I were gonna ask you to take
me to the winter formal, you'd say...?
- No.
- Great.
Oh.
I can't.
Well, that's great. I'm
glad we got that cleared up.
Oh, gee, look at the time, um...
I gotta go, bye.
Carol.
I...
That's my football.
"For that zesty combination
of herbs and spices...
always remember to shake
vigorously before opening."
Okay.
What are you doing?
I'm, uh, cooking.
What does it look like?
Oh, yeah.
- Hi, Mike.
- Hey, Mom.
You know, Dad, this winter formal
thing is gonna be the death of me.
All right, if you had to choose between a
blond, a redhead and a brunette beauty...
who would you pick?
Well, Mike, there's much more to
a woman than the color of her hair.
There's also the
size of her intellect.
Hi, Carol, how was your day?
Everything's fine now. I don't
know what's been the matter with me.
I mean, new clothes,
makeup, contact lenses.
Thinking someone would
wanna take me to a dance.
Please, I mean, it's just not me. I
mean, what am I trying to change?
I was just fine working
hard and studying.
I was just fine without
trying to be silly and popular.
I mean, who needs
all these risks?
Well, not me.
I guess that means she
didn't have a good day.
Mom, I want to donate
all my makeup to the poor.
Oh, Carol, what happened?
Nothing.
Nothing important. I just...
asked Bobby to
the prom and he...
turned me down.
- Oh, honey.
- Oh, pumpkin, that's a shame.
It's a decision I gotta make.
I don't need to see this.
I'm way ahead of you.
Oh, honey, what did Bobby say?
"No." How many times
do I have to repeat it?
Well, honey, maybe you
just asked him too late.
Honey, there has
to be some reason.
Yeah, me. I mean, he just
doesn't want to take me.
Well, then he's out of his mind.
And that's a professional opinion.
Yes, you're right.
I mean, after all, I've
learned from my pain.
I mean, who needs a social life
when you have an IQ of 144, right?
I want five minutes with that football
player without his protective equipment.
Don't you get irrational too.
But, Jason, it would be a nice
gesture for you to get a little irrational.
Okay, if you want to
vent, go ahead and vent.
Vent, one of us
has to remain calm.
One of us has to do
thinking and observing and...
What are you babbling about?
Well, I'm gonna call that little
slime bag sucker right now.
Carol, we wanna leave in about
five minutes. Are you ready?
No, I am not.
I do not want to go to some stupid
place to take my mind off the fact...
that there's some stupid dance
tonight that I don't even care about.
Six minutes will be fine.
If you're looking for enthusiasm, it
might help to tell where we're going.
Well, I don't think we can expect
much enthusiasm out of Carol tonight.
I was talking about me.
Ben, why are you eating? I told
you we were going out to dinner.
No, we aren't. Where we're
going, they don't have dinner.
Shh.
You tell our 10-year-old son where
we're going, but you won't tell me?
Don't take it personally, Mom.
No woman can keep a secret.
Ha. Where would he get
such a ridiculous idea?
Not from you, Dad.
Oh, wow, Mike,
you look fabulous.
What, this old thing?
Let me get my camera.
Hey, so who's the lucky date?
Well, it was a
tough decision, Dad.
And I've given it a lot of
thought, and I mean a lot.
Who's kidding who, Dad?
I've lost sleep over this.
And there was only one decision
that seemed to make any sense.
Excuse me.
Hello, Mike.
- Hello.
- How do you do?
Hey.
Mom, Dad, this is the stunning
Samantha, lovely Andrea...
and the legendary
Sheena Berkowitz.
Well, you look lovely.
The whole crowd of you.
Cheese.
We'll see you
guys a little bit later.
Oh, and, uh, there's
no need to wait up.
So who wants to drive? - Me.
I get to sit in the
back with Mike.
Who says?
Well? Say something.
That's my boy.
Oh, look at Carol.
Doesn't she look beautiful?
Oh, honey, you are perfectly
dressed for a wonderful evening of...
Something or other.
I hate this whole entire
gross disgusting idea.
You're going to have fun than
you've had since you were 6 years old.
Come on.
I'm gonna puke.
Wow, it is gonna be a fun night.
Oh, please, God, make it stop.
It's okay, Ben, get up.
My, my, here it is, the
Empire State Building.
Spectacular.
Oh, souvenirs. What a view.
Can we go now?
Jason, it is very late.
Pish tosh. The night is young.
Pish tosh?
When are we getting to
the surprise destination?
- This is it.
- You're kidding.
No, he isn't. Surprise.
Don't you remember when you
were 6 years old we came here...
and you looked through
that very telescope...
and you said, "Daddy,
there must be magic up here.
Even New Jersey looks pretty."
Dad, I'm not 6 anymore.
Well, I know, but I just thought maybe
you could use a little magic tonight...
and maybe your old
dad could help out.
- Okay, who wants a King Kong souvenir?
- Me, me, me.
How did I know that?
Well, it really is
beautiful up here.
Look at all those little
cars. They look like little...
Ants. I know, Mom, please.
Carol, your father meant well.
I know he did...
but thinking that the
Empire State Building...
would make me forget
that I was totally humiliated...
just makes Dad
seem kind of... Lame.
- No.
- Yes, I heard you.
No, no, no, honey,
even if I thought that I
would never, ever,
ever call your father...
- Lame.
- Don't say it again.
Okay, but it is lame.
Well...
yes, but we never
had this conversation.
What conversation?
Thank you.
Why is your father
talking to that janitor?
Oh, that's just Bobby Winnet.
Bobby Winnet?
Oh, Lord, forgive me for what I said
about Jason, and don't ever let him know.
Mom, Dad's bringing
him over here.
Well, what a co-inki-dink.
Look who I found.
- Um, hi.
- Hi.
Your old ma...
Your father promised me he
wouldn't tell nobody I was working here.
I didn't tell a soul.
- He told you that?
- When he called me.
- You called him?
- Yeah, yelling.
This job is why you couldn't
take me to the dance?
Why else wouldn't I take you?
Well, I don't know.
I thought maybe...
If this is gonna get
mushy, I'm gonna jump.
Bye, Ben.
Um, Dr. Seaver...
if it's okay, can I
drive Carol home?
I mean, I get off work at 11:00.
- Oh, gee, Bobby, I don't know...
- Dad.
Don't be too late, sweetheart.
- We won't.
- Bye, Bobby.
- Bye.
Thanks, Dad.
Oh, honey, I'm sorry I ever
thought your whole idea was...
- Lame?
- Oh, I never thought that.
Yeah, you thought that.
Well, why didn't you just
tell me you had to work?
I didn't want anybody to
know that Bobby Winnet...
captain of the football
team, had a job doing this.
Especially you.
Well, I don't mind.
It's disgusting.
Don't worry, I'm
used to disgusting.
Remember, I have two brothers?
Carol, I really wanted
to take you to that dance.
And I really wanted
to go with you.
Hey, wait here.
I know this isn't
gonna be too clear.
May I have this dance?
Sure.
Wait.
Okay, I'm ready now.
I had a lousy time.
Yeah, well, I had
a lousy time too.
Who needs you, any of you?
You're a total pig.
It was the worst
night of my life.
Women.
You said it.