Growing Pains (1985–1992): Season 2, Episode 10 - The Breakfast Club - full transcript

Did you hear that?

- What, that kind of scraping sound?
- Yeah.

- From up on the roof?
- Yeah.

No, I didn't.

I didn't hear that one either.

Jason.

Okay, I'll handle it.

- Wait.
- Oh, gosh.

Are you gonna let
me handle this myself?

Jason.

All right!



Um, I was on my way home...

and I figured I had plenty of
time to get home before midnight...

because, as you know, I
wouldn't miss my curfew.

There I was, feeling pretty obedient,
when what do you think I saw?

A spaceship.

Come on, Dad,
don't be ridiculous.

I saw fire.

Yeah, I saw a towering inferno.

Oh, my.

So then I said to myself,
"Mike, you've got two choices.

Either you can turn your head the
other way and make your curfew...

or you can be a measly two hours and
10 minutes late and save a few lives."

- Wow.
- What a kid.

So with no concern for my
personal safety or the time...



- It's 11:30.
- I know.

So with no concern for... What?

It's 11:30 right now, Mike. A whole
half an hour before your curfew.

Boner.

You might say that.

No, no, no, Boner must
have got the time wrong.

Heh. I guess the joke's on
all of us. I'll be back before 12.

Halt.

Okay, okay, so there
was no towering inferno.

No.

So you admit
that you lied to us.

Lie is such an ugly word.

Come on, Maggie,
suitcases are in the car.

We can go just as soon
as your parents get here.

Oh, come on, honey, cheer up.

In two hours, you'll be
cavorting in Atlantic City...

with a group of 5000
conventioning psychiatrists.

Come on, if you're ever gonna have a
breakdown this is the weekend to do it.

Jason, it's not that Mike lies,
it's that he does it so often.

Well, at least he
doesn't do it well.

I'm serious.

Oh, come on, Maggie, he's 16.

I'm sure when you were 16 you must
have lied to your folks once in a while.

I did not.

I was never like Mike, never.

- Is Grandpa here yet?
- He'll be here any minute.

I'm gonna ambush
Grandpa when he comes.

- Well, eat your breakfast first.
- Oh.

Let's ground him.

I'll eat, I'll eat.

We're talking about Mike.

Ground him.

We can't. We're gonna be at a
psychiatric conference this weekend.

But my parents will be here.

And my dad's been retired from the
police force for over three years now.

I mean, it would be really sweet
to let him lock somebody up again.

Good morning, mother, good morning, Dad.
- Yes.

Good morning, little Ben.

Uh, I guess you're
wondering why I'm standing

here in this wrinkled,
tattered shirt.

No.

Well, just let me explain.

Okay, now, I was up
all last night with worry...

thinking about what I did
and why it was so wrong and...

And what I can do to make
it up to you, my parents.

The two most important
people in my life.

Well, we've been doing
some thinking too, Mike.

Oh. Well, just let me
run my thoughts by you.

- Mike, I really...
- Wait, this might be good.

Ha!

Ben, take your breakfast and
get ready to go jump Grandpa.

But I wanna watch Mike suffer.

Ben, your mother told you to
please go ambush your grandfather.

Okay, all right. Now,
one, I was actually on time.

And, two, I admitted openly and
honestly that I lied, and, three...

You are grounded for the remainder
of the weekend in bed by 8 and no TV.

Well, look at it this way, Mike,
you won two out of three points.

Is it okay if I stay at Wanda's while
Grandma and Grandpa are here?

Carol, is it gonna hurt you to
spend one whole weekend here...

with your grandparents?

Well, not physically, but...

The answer is no.

Mom, you can't ground
me this weekend.

Oh, yes, I can. You have
to learn that lying is wrong.

- Mom, I have got major plans this weekend.
- Wanna bet?

Hello?

Oh, Susan, what's up?

Oh, I thought Christopher was
gonna cover that story this weekend.

Today?

Well, I can't do it...

I know you can make it an order,
but see, I'm going to Atlantic City with...

It's not a flimsy excuse. Um...

See, I'm going to my Aunt
Marge's wedding, I'm...

I'm in the wedding.

I'm sorry too, Susan.

Any other weekend,
I'd be available.

Right, you too.

Bye-bye.

"Lie, a deception, a
fabrication, an untruth...

a falsehood."

I admit we do have
something of a dilemma,

but it's not a problem
that can't be solved.

In fact, the solution
is really very simple.

You're grounded too.

- Very funny.
- Yes. Ha, ha.

But seriously, honey, we...

- You are serious.
- Well...

- Oh, Jason, that's absurd.
- You're right.

- I don't see how it would help.
- You're right.

- I don't believe we're discussing it.
- Right.

I hate it when you say "you're right"
when you really mean "you're wrong."

Forget I even mentioned
you being grounded.

Forget that it would teach Mike
that lying is wrong for everyone.

- Forget that I...
- Jason.

I hate this more than
I hate the other thing.

You're right.

- You're doing it again.
- I'm sorry.

I will tell Mike that
it's all right to lie...

as long as you don't base it
on an Irwin Allen disaster movie.

- Jason.
- Yeah?

I don't wanna be grounded.

Honey, it's only two
days of workshops...

on schizophrenia,
paranoia, phobias, fetishism.

- Sounds fun.
- Ha, ha.

Imagine the look
on Mike's face...

when we tell him that his sure-fire
escape from punishment doesn't work.

You should have seen
that look on Mom's face.

I love that look.

It's that look of defeat.

Mike, your mom and I have
been discussing the situation.

I'll bet.

We agreed that it's not
fair for you to be grounded...

while she spends the
weekend in Atlantic City.

Hey, I'm glad to see
you guys came around.

So your mother's
been grounded too.

Excuse me?

You're kidding, right?

No, Mike, I'm grounding
myself for lying to my boss.

Whoa, wait a minute.
You're grounding yourself?

That's right.

I saw the chance to nail
myself to the wall and I took it.

Whoa, whoa!

You realize this front
door's standing wide open?

Stick them up, copper!

All right.

Shoot if you want to,
but I'm giving you a hug.

Daddy!

Good to see you.

- Hi, Mom.
- Hi, sweetheart.

How are you?

Oh, Mikey.

Oh!

Ed, it's good to see you...

Carol, haven't you got a
hello for your old grandpa?

- Hi!
- Kate.

Oh, Jason, it's
so good... Maggie.

I'm so sorry we're late.

Ed had to pick up a
little surprise for you.

Oh, Daddy, what?

Not so fast.

How do little girls Ask for
something from their pop?

Pretty, pretty please
with a cherry on top

I'm gonna gag.

- Sinatra tickets.
- Oh! What?

I knew you had to dread
that shrink convention...

so when I found out that Sinatra
was gonna be playing in Atlantic City...

well, I just pulled
a few strings.

We know how much
you love Ol' Blue Eyes.

Oh, Jason.

Sinatra. JASON: Yeah.

Ed, I've been knocking
myself out trying to get these.

Yeah, I'm sure you did.

Oh, Daddy, thank you so much.

Uh, excuse me, mother,
but aren't you grounded?

What was that, Mikey?

Oh, Mom was just saying how she
was grounding herself for this weekend.

- Maggie?
- That's right, I... I did.

Sounds like another one of
your screwball shrink deals.

It's good to see you too, Ed.

Dad, we're grounding
Mike for lying.

And just this morning he caught me
lying to my boss, so I've grounded myself.

You lied in front
of the children?

Yes, she has.

And look what it's
done to little Ben.

Oh, I bet Jason and Carol
are probably getting ready...

for the dinner show about now.

Eight o'clock and the
perimeter's secure, Grandpa.

Mike's not sneaking out tonight.

Good job, Deputy Ben.

Carry on.

Oh, that Benny's
gonna make a great cop.

If he lives that long.

Oh, I got a six-letter word.

Triple-word score, "sexual."

Mom. Ha-ha-ha!

My tiles are all gone.

- I win.
- Ha-ha-ha.

Wow, that's six in
a row, Grandma.

Well, Mike, it's time
for you to go to bed.

What? It's 8:00.

You are being punished, you're
not supposed to be having fun.

I'm not. I'm hanging
out with you guys.

Mike, bed.

Okay, okay, I'll go.

I want you to know, if I
do spot a towering inferno...

I'm just gonna let
those people die.

Mom, Dad, more coffee?

- Yes.
- No, Ed, you know how it keeps you awake.

Well, tonight's the night to stay
awake. It's All Love Week on Channel 8.

And tonight's late
movie is Love Story II.

Maggie, I thought
you were grounded too.

Well, sure, but I don't
wanna get carried away.

You can do what you want.

Mom. Dad, would you
explain to her how silly this is?

I don't understand anything
about this grounding business.

Or why you listen to one of
your husband's half-baked ideas.

Or for that matter, why'd you
even marry him in the first place.

Thank you, Dad.

If I were you, I'd go to bed and
take my punishment like an adult.

I am an adult.

Well, you're not acting
like it now, are you?

Margaret Katherine.

Don't argue with your mother.

8:05 and all is well.

That's what you think!

Will this table be
satisfactory, sir?

Oh, this is great.
Thank you. Ha, ha.

Are you absolutely certain
this table is to your satisfaction?

Are you kidding? What's
not to like? We're ringside.

Because I do have a lovely
table back there behind that pillar.

So, Carol, ha, ha. What do you think
of the gambling capital of the East?

I think it's the most
disgusting place I've ever been.

You're not having fun?

Are you kidding? I love it.

- Cocktails?
- Yes, shrimp.

- Shrimp?
- Oh, she means crustaceans, not you.

I didn't think she did.

One shrimp
cocktail, and you, sir?

Uh, I'll just have a vodka
gimlet on the rocks, please.

Just make it a short one.

No, no, I'm sorry. No, nothing,
nothing. I'll have nothing.

Psychiatrist?

- Yes?
- Figures.

- Wow. Sinatra live.
- Yeah.

The greatest thing about it is
that his friends could show up.

We could see Dean
Martin or Sammy Davis Jr.

Maybe even Joey Bishop. Ha, ha.

Dare we dream.

Tonight, Love Week continues...

with Love Story
II: Oliver's Story.

Last night in Love Story I, Ali
McGraw died of a mysterious disease...

after calling Ryan O'Neal
a series of insulting names.

- Uh...
- Going somewhere?

I was sleepwalking.
Oh. Can you beat that?

Look at this, Mom. I'm
fully dressed. Ha, ha.

Michael Aaron Seaver...

don't you dare compound your escape
from your punishment by using deception.

I didn't understand
a word of that.

Sit down.

Michael, what are you thinking?

Is it really that hard
to do as you're told?

You had a simple punishment,
but can you be trusted?

- No, every single time...
- Hey, hey, hey, what's this?

Forget that.

That's Kleenex. You've
been watching Love Story.

I have not. It
was Love Story II.

Excuse me, but aren't you
supposed to be grounded?

Michael, we are discussing you.

Oh, it's okay for you to skip
out on your punishment...

but it's not okay for me.

Michael, if you think I get some great
pleasure from punishing you, you're wrong.

Oh, come on, Mom, I've seen that
glimmer of excitement in your eye...

when you catch me
doing something wrong.

I've heard that happy ring in your
voice when you call me by my full name.

Michael, you don't understand
what a parent goes through.

And you sure don't
understand me.

No, I don't.

Not when you act like this.

And because you're confused...

I have to miss out on the
biggest party of the year.

I thought you said last weekend's
party was the biggest party of the year.

What, do you keep transcripts
of our conversations now?

Michael, when you're 16, every
party is the biggest party of the year.

That's easy for you to say.

What do you know about being 16
and having a parent who's always right?

A lot.

Have you met my father?

Pleasant man.

Pleasant man.

You know, once he grounded
me for no reason at all.

No.

And all I did was say
"damn" at the dinner table.

You?

And even though he was known to say
that and a lot worse, he still grounded me.

Well, of course,
he was an adult.

I mean, you wanna
talk about unfair?

I believe I have been.

Grounded.

Forget the fact that it was
Vicki Timar's sweet 16 party.

It was a pizza party.

I mean, she was my best friend.
What was I supposed to do?

I climbed out the window
and went to that party anyway.

Wow.

And it was a truly...

great party. Ha, ha.

- Because you got away with it.
- Yeah, and I...

I understand.

And I'm beginning to.

Come on.

- Where?
- Out.

I'm in the mood for pizza.

But, Mom, we're
grounded, remember?

Shh! I won't tell me
what I did if you don't.

This is deeply weird.

- So when does the show start?
- Mm.

Carol, a superstar
like Frank Sinatra never

performs while they're
still serving food.

Does it make him
hungry, or what?

Oh. Shh.

It's show time. Ha, ha.

Ladies and gentlemen...

the Jackpot Room of the
Fallbrook Hotel in Atlantic City...

is proud to present the unique,
one-of-a-kind song stylings...

of a living legend,
Mr. Frank Sinatra, Jr.

Junior?

I suppose this means
no Joey Bishop either.

Shh! MAGGIE: Ha-ha-ha!

Thanks for the pizza, Mike. It
hasn't tasted this good since I was 16.

Thanks for making
getting grounded fun.

Michael, that wasn't
the point of any of this.

Do I detect the sound
of a mother in your voice?

Michael Aaron Seaver.

- Yes, I do. Shh!
- Ha-ha-ha!

I knew this was
too good to last.

You're gonna tell
yourself on me, aren't you?

Nope.

Hey, you do understand me.

Yeah, I guess I do.

I don't think I like this.

Me either. Ha-ha-ha.

Hey, I got it. What do you say we just
cancel the grounding for the weekend?

No, Mike.

I thought you knew how
rotten it was to be grounded.

I do, but I also remember that every
time it was done to me when I was a kid...

there were lessons
that I never forgot.

And I think it helped mold me
into a mature, responsible person.

Come here.

Come on.

You're busted!

Will you listen to this?

Some French actor by the
name of, uh, Yves Montand...

Oh, I love him.

Yeah, well, he's running
for president of France.

Why would anybody be dumb enough
to vote for an actor for president?

Reagan was an actor.

Well, yeah, but not a good one.

Hey, hi, Ed, Kate.

Yeah.

Tell me, you lucky people,
how was Atlantic City?

Really vapid.

Oh, that's wonderful.

How was Frank?

Well, Ed, he looks a
lot younger in person.

Ringy-ding-ding, huh?

The only way we could thank you is
by having him autograph the menu.

Oh, Eddie.

Oh.

"Ed, I was so sorry that
you missed the show.

It made my day to
find out you were a fan."

Oh.

"Your pal, Frank."

Oh, wow.

Pal.

You know, when a big guy like this
has time for a regular Joe like me, it...

It kind of brings back
my faith in the world.