Growing Pains (1985–1992): Season 1, Episode 5 - Superdad - full transcript

♪ SHOW ME THAT SMILE AGAIN ♪

♪ DON'T WASTE ANOTHER
MINUTE ON YOUR CRYIN' ♪

♪ WE'RE NOWHERE NEAR THE END ♪

♪ THE BEST IS READY TO BEGIN ♪

♪ AS LONG AS WE GOT EACH OTHER ♪

♪ WE GOT THE WORLD
SPINNIN' RIGHT IN OUR HANDS ♪

♪ BABY, YOU AND ME ♪

♪ WE GOTTA BE ♪

♪ THE LUCKIEST DREAMERS
WHO NEVER QUIT DREAMIN' ♪

♪ AS LONG AS WE KEEP ON GIVIN' ♪

♪ WE CAN TAKE ANYTHING
THAT COMES OUR WAY ♪



♪ BABY, RAIN OR SHINE ♪

♪ ALL THE TIME ♪

♪ WE GOT EACH OTHER ♪

♪ SHARIN' THE
LAUGHTER AND LOVE ♪

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.

HEY, MIKE! MIKE! HELP, HELP.

MIKE, GET THAT RABID
ANIMAL OUT OF HERE.

HELP.

COME ON, DAD.
STUART'S NOT RABID.

HE'S PEPPY.

MIKE, ANIMALS THAT LIVE OFF
HUMAN TOES ARE NOT "PEPPY."

OH, THIS IS GREAT. I MEAN,
I'M TRYING TO DO A GOOD DEED

FOR A NEIGHBOR
WHO'S OUT OF TOWN,

AND ALL YOU GUYS
CAN DO IS COMPLAIN.



HOW COME YOU ONLY DO GOOD DEEDS

FOR NEIGHBORS
WHO WALK LIKE THIS?

BEN, DOES THE PHRASE "ONE
GOOD TURN DESERVES ANOTHER"

MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU?

MIKE, DOES THE PHRASE
"GET THAT DOG OUT OF HERE

BEFORE I PUNT IT THROUGH THE
GREENHOUSE" MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU?

HI, CAROL.

HI.

WHAT'S THE MATTER, CAROL?

I CAN'T FIND THE PEANUT BUTTER.

WHEN'S MOM COMING HOME?

USUAL TIME.

CAN I CALL HER AT WORK?

COURSE YOU CAN,
SWEETHEART. IF IT'S IMPORTANT.

YEAH, IS MAGGIE
SEAVER THERE, PLEASE?

OH.

WELL, UM, YEAH, COULD
YOU TELL HER TO CALL CAROL

WHEN SHE GETS BACK?
IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT.

OK.

THANKS. BYE.

SOMETHING YOU WANT
TO TALK TO ME ABOUT?

I DON'T KNOW.

WANT ME TO LEAVE YOU ALONE?

I DON'T KNOW.

DO YOU WANT ME TO STICK
LARGE RIPE VEGETABLES IN MY EAR

AND PLAY THE ACCORDION?

HEY, COME ON. REMEMBER
WHAT WE USED TO DO

WHEN YOU WERE
JUST A LITTLE GIRL,

AND YOU HAD A PROBLEM?
I'D STEER YOU OVER HERE,

BEEP, BEEP.

SPIN YOU AROUND

AND UP ON THE COUNTER LIKE THAT,

SO THAT WE COULD HAVE A
LITTLE FACE-TO-FACE CHAT.

YEAH. DOESN'T WORK ANYMORE.

COME ON, TALK TO ME.

TODAY WAS THE LAST DAY OF THE
GERMAN CLUB GUMMY BEAR SALE AND,

WELL, THAT WAS MY LAST REAL
CHANCE TO GET KEVIN TO NOTICE ME

BEFORE THE DANCE TOMORROW NIGHT.

AND KEVIN'S FRIEND MARK
WAS COMING UP TO GET A GUMMY

AND MELISSA SAID SHE
HEARD MARK SAID HE SAID...

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. WHO SAID?

KEVIN SAID.

SAID WHAT?

SAID...

SAID I LOOK LIKE A GUMMY BEAR.

WELL, HONEY, I'M SURE
HE MEANT IT IN A NICE WAY.

AW, COME OFF IT, DAD. I MEAN,
THE BOY THINKS I LOOK LIKE A BEAR.

I'M JUST UGLY.

YOU DO NOT LOOK LIKE A BEAR.

BUT IF YOU WALK AROUND
THINKING THAT YOU

LOOK UGLY, THEN YOU'RE GOING
TO END UP LOOKING LIKE THIS. LOOK.

CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF?

NOW IF YOU WALK AROUND
KNOWING YOU'RE PRETTY,

BECAUSE YOU ARE,

THEN YOU'RE GONNA FEEL BETTER.
YOU'RE GONNA LOOK LIKE THIS.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

I THINK IT'S MORE IMPORTANT
WHAT KEVIN THINKS.

OK,

BUT DID YOU ACTUALLY
HEAR KEVIN SAY

THAT HE THOUGHT YOU
LOOKED LIKE A GUMMY BEAR?

NO, BUT MELISSA SAID
SHE HEARD HE SAID IT.

WELL, SINCE WHEN DID YOU BELIEVE

EVERYTHING MELISSA
SAYS SHE HEARD?

WELL, SHE DOES MAKE
YOU WONDER SOMETIMES.

I MEAN, SHE SWORE SHE SAW MICK
JAGGER AT J.C. PENNEY'S LAST WEEK.

WELL, THEY DID HAVE THAT
BIG SALE IN HOME FURNISHINGS.

DAD.

COME ON, I JUST THINK THAT

YOU SHOULD TAKE YOUR
CUES ABOUT WHAT KEVIN THINKS

FROM WHAT KEVIN SAYS HIMSELF.

YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT.

I NEED NEW ICE SKATES.

DID I MISS SOMETHING?

WELL, EVERYBODY'S GOING TO BE AT
THE SKATING RINK TOMORROW NIGHT,

AND I CAN SKATE BY KEVIN AND
SEE IF HE SAYS ANYTHING TO ME.

TOMORROW MORNING YOU
AND I GO DOWN TO MACY'S

AND WE BUY YOU A
BRAND-NEW PAIR OF SKATES.

WHO KNOWS, MAYBE WE'LL
EVEN RUN INTO TINA TURNER

IN SMALL APPLIANCES.

THANKS, DAD.

CAROL.

CAROL.

I'M IN HERE, MOM.

FOOLED YOU, DIDN'T I? YEAH.

HI, SWEETHEART. HI.

WHERE'S CAROL? I GOT A MESSAGE
THAT SHE WANTED TO TALK TO ME.

SHE'S OVER AT LAURIE'S.
HOW WAS YOUR DAY?

OH, ANOTHER LAST-MINUTE REWRITE.

I'VE NEVER TYPED
SO FAST IN MY LIFE.

MY FINGERS ARE STILL WIGGLING.

OH, DON'T BE WASTING
THOSE WIGGLIN' FINGERS.

HERE, TRY THEM RIGHT HERE
BELOW THE SHOULDER BLADE.

OH, JASON.

PERFECT. THANK YOU.

SO WHAT DID CAROL
WANT TO TALK ABOUT?

JIM SAID SHE SOUNDED VERY UPSET.

YES, WELL, IT SEEMS SHE HAS REASON
TO BELIEVE THAT KEVIN THOUGHT

THAT SHE LOOKED
LIKE A GUMMY BEAR.

KEVIN? MMM-HMM.

THE ONE IN THE GERMAN CLUB?

MY DEAR, THE CHANCELLOR
OF THE GERMAN CLUB.

OH, NO. SHE'S HAD A
CRUSH ON HIM SINCE...

YES, SINCE THE
OKTOBERFEST POLKA PARTY.

OH, POOR KID. SHE
MUST BE MISERABLE.

HMM, WELL, I'LL TALK TO
HER WHEN SHE GETS HOME.

BUT SHE'S FINE NOW. SHE IS?

YEAH, WE TALKED IT
OVER. FIGURED IT OUT.

YOU DID. I DID.

MMM-HMM.

OH, HONEY, YOU DON'T HAVE TO
SAY THAT JUST SO I WON'T FEEL GUILTY.

I'M NOT, MAGGIE.

NO, WE TALKED THE
WHOLE THING OVER

THROUGH AND
THROUGH, INSIDE AND OUT.

UH-HUH.

WE CRIED. WE LAUGHED. WE HUGGED.

WE CLOSED WITH A SONG.

♪ MICHAEL, ROW THE BOAT ASHORE ♪

THAT'S GOOD, JASON.
BUT IF YOU DON'T MIND,

I THINK I'LL TALK TO
HER JUST THE SAME.

SHE'S FINE, MAGGIE.

HONEY, SHE ALWAYS
SAYS SHE'S FINE.

NOW WHEN'S SHE COMING HOME?

YOU DON'T THINK I CAN HOLD UP
MY END OF THE BARGAIN, DO YOU?

OH, JASON, WHAT BARGAIN?

COME ON, THE BARGAIN
WHERE YOU GO BACK TO WORK

AND I STAY HERE AND
TAKE CARE OF THE KIDS.

OH, JASON. NO. YOU DON'T THINK

THAT I CAN HANDLE IT, DO YOU?

JASON, IT'S NOT
THAT I DON'T THINK...

NO, NO, NO. EVEN
THOUGH I HAPPEN TO BE

A HIGHLY SKILLED
PROFESSIONAL COUNSELOR...

OH, JASON.

WHO ONCE TALKED A MAN DOWN
FROM THE RIM OF A SHARK TANK.

UH-HUH.

NO, NO. I MEAN,
BECAUSE I WAS THE GUY

WHO PREDICTED 2 WEEKS BEFORE
THE POLICE CAUGHT SON OF SAM...

MMM-HMM.

THAT HE WOULD TURN OUT TO BE AN
UGLY MAILMAN FROM NEW ROCHELLE

WHO TALKED TO HIS
NEIGHBOR'S DOG. HUH?

JASON, IT'S NOT
THAT I DON'T THINK

THAT YOU'RE A
WONDERFUL PSYCHIATRIST.

BUT, YOU'RE JUST NOT A MOTHER.

WELL, THAT'S FINE WITH ME
BECAUSE THIS GIRDLE IS KILLIN' ME.

♪

HEY, BEN. WHERE'S MOM AND DAD?

HEY, MIKE. WHAT
YOU HIDIN' FROM 'EM?

ME? HIDE SOMETHING FROM
MY BELOVED MOTHER AND...

OH, NO. NOT ANOTHER ONE.

WILL IT BITE ME?

WHAT'S THE MATTER, BEN? DON'T
YOU RECOGNIZE YOUR OLD PAL, STUART?

MIKE, STUART IS BLACK.

SO?

THIS DOG IS WHITE.

SO?

SO I THINK THAT'S A
NOTICEABLE DIFFERENCE.

LOOK, BEN. YOU GOTTA
HELP ME. STUART RAN AWAY.

WENDY'S GOING TO KILL YOU.

NOT IF SHE DOESN'T FIND OUT.

MIKE, EVEN ONE OF
YOUR GIRLFRIENDS

HAS A SHOT AT REMEMBERING
THE COLOR OF HER OWN DOG.

LOOK, I'LL TAKE CARE OF WENDY.

YOU JUST MAKE SURE MOM
AND DAD DON'T FIND OUT.

HI, GUYS.

WHAT DOG?

WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT A DOG?

NOT ME.

HI, MOM. HI, SWEETHEART.

HOW ARE YOU?

FINE. OH, GREAT, JUST
IN TIME FOR MY SHOW.

I GOT YOUR MESSAGE, AND I
WOULD'VE CALLED YOU BACK

BUT I WAS OUT OF
THE OFFICE ALL DAY.

OH, THAT'S OK, MOM.

LOOK AT THIS GUY.

WHAT IS THIS?

THE STURGEONS OF PITT STREET.

WHY IS THE BUTLER ON ALL FOURS?

WELL, THE FAMILY DOG DIED, AND THEY
DIDN'T HAVE THE HEART TO TELL GRANDMA.

OH.

SO, HONEY, YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT

WHAT HAPPENED AT SCHOOL TODAY?

CAROL?

UH, MOM, WHAT'D YOU SAY?

WELL, YOU MUST BE REALLY
UPSET ABOUT WHAT KEVIN SAID.

OH, GOOD. A COMMERCIAL.

SO LET'S TALK.

WHAT'S WITH THIS KEVIN ANYWAY?

OH, I ALREADY TALKED THE
WHOLE THING THROUGH WITH DAD.

I KNOW THAT, BUT I THOUGHT
MAYBE A WOMAN-TO-WOMAN TALK...

NO, REALLY, MOM. I'M FINE.

YOU ARE? YOU'RE SURE?

HONEY, YOU DON'T
HAVE TO SAY THAT

JUST SO THAT I
WON'T FEEL GUILTY.

NO, I SWEAR IT'S
OK, MOM. YOU KNOW,

I THOUGHT I WASN'T GONNA LIKE IT

WHEN YOU WENT BACK TO WORK,

BUT IT'S REALLY KIND OF NEAT
HAVING DAD AT HOME NOW.

THAT'S GREAT.

HEY, THOSE WACKY
STURGEONS ON YET?

AH, COME ON, DAD.
SIT IN THE MIDDLE.

YEAH. OK.

UH, COULD YOU MOVE
OVER A LITTLE, MOM?

UM, YEAH.

YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS. OH.

HI, IT'S WENDY.

HI, WENDY. COME ON IN.

HOW YOU DOIN'? FINE.

HOW WAS YOUR VACATION?

OH, IT WAS GREAT. FIRST WE WENT TO
EUROPE, AND THEN WE WENT TO FRANCE.

YES, WELL, YOU MUST
HAVE QUITE A TRAVEL AGENT.

MIKE, WENDY'S HERE.

I HOPE STUART WASN'T
TOO MUCH TROUBLE FOR YOU.

STUART? NO, NO.

NO, NO, ONCE WE STARTED FEEDING
HIM THE NEIGHBORS' CHILDREN,

WE HARDLY KNEW HE WAS HERE.

HEY, WENDY.

HI, MIKE.

HI, STUEY-POOEY.

WOW, JUST LOOK HOW GLAD
HE IS TO SEE YOU, WENDY.

THAT DOES LOOK LIKE
STUART, DOESN'T IT?

SAME COLOR AND EVERYTHING.

UH, YES. WENDY, WHY DON'T I
TAKE YOU AND STUART HOME?

COME ON, STUART. COME ON.

YEAH, THAT'S IT, GOOD DOG. YEAH.

JUST LOOK AT HIM, WENDY. I MEAN,

HE WAS SO EXCITED ABOUT
YOU COMING HOME LAST NIGHT

THAT HE DIDN'T SLEEP A WINK.

AND NOW, OF COURSE,
HE'S EXHAUSTED.

OH.

BEN?

YEAH, DAD?

WHAT DID MIKE DO TO STUART?

THE TRUTH, DAD?

YEAH, BEN.

MIKE DIDN'T DO
ANYTHING TO STUART.

BYE, DAD.

HI, SWEETHEART.

HELLO.

WHERE'S CAROL?

I DON'T KNOW.

ARE WE GOING ON VACATION HERE?

NO, NO, I JUST THOUGHT I'D TAKE
CAROL INTO THE CITY FOR THE DAY.

OH.

YOU KNOW, TAKE IN A
COUPLE OF ART GALLERIES,

RUN UP TO TAVERN ON
THE GREEN FOR LUNCH

AND THEN MAYBE POP
OVER TO THE BRONX ZOO.

YEAH.

I KNOW CAROL'S BEEN DYING TO SEE

THAT ALBINO HYENA
ON LOAN FROM DETROIT.

THOSE THINGS COME FROM DETROIT?

ANYWAY, I THOUGHT
IF WE HAD TIME...

LISTEN, UH, SWEETHEART, DOES
CAROL KNOW ABOUT ALL THIS?

NO, WHY?

WELL, CAROL AND I WERE PLANNING
TO GO SHOPPING TOGETHER TODAY

FOR A NEW PAIR OF SKATES.

OH.

I THINK IT'S IMPORTANT TO HER

BECAUSE, WELL, YOU KNOW,
KEVIN AND THE OTHER KIDS

ARE ALL GOING SKATING
THIS AFTERNOON.

AH.

YES, AND YOU KNOW THE
BIG DANCE IS TONIGHT.

NO. OH, YES.

UH-HUH. NO, I
DIDN'T REALIZE THAT.

MMM-HMM.

BUT THEN THAT'S
MORE YOUR AREA NOW.

WELL, HONEY, YOU
TWO HAVE A GOOD TIME.

MAGGIE, YOU WANT
TO COME WITH US?

OH, NO, I'D JUST BE IN THE WAY.

NO, NO. DON'T BE RIDICULOUS.

NO, NO, I CAN HAVE
FUN HERE. REALLY.

I'LL JUST, UH, DO THE LAUNDRY,
MAYBE CLEAN A FEW TOILETS.

DOES IT BOTHER YOU THAT CAROL
AND I HAVE PLANS TOGETHER?

NO, NO.

I THINK IT'S GREAT.

I MEAN, SURE, SHE DIDN'T HAVE
TIME TO TALK TO ME LAST NIGHT

AND SHE DOESN'T HAVE
TIME TO BE WITH ME TODAY,

BUT I LOVE SEEING THE
TWO OF YOU TOGETHER.

YOU'RE HER FATHER.
SHE'S YOUR DAUGHTER.

YOU'RE FATHER AND DAUGHTER.
YOU SHOULD DO THINGS TOGETHER.

FATHER AND DAUGHTER
THINGS. I'M VERY HAPPY FOR YOU.

MAGGIE. WHAT?

YOU KNOW, WHEN CAROL CAME HOME

FROM SCHOOL YESTERDAY ALL UPSET,

SHE REALLY WANTED
TO TALK TO YOU. HMM.

OH, YES. IT WAS
LIKE PULLING TEETH

TO GET HER TO
OPEN UP TO OLD DAD.

YEAH?

SHE STILL NEEDS HER
MOTHER, YOU KNOW.

SOMETIMES I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT.

OH, SHE DOES.

AND YOU STILL WEAR
THE GIRDLE IN THE FAMILY.

YEAH? AND VERY NICELY.

SO YOU'RE SAYING THAT
I'M OVERREACTING A BIT.

NO, NO, I'M SAYING YOU'RE
OVERREACTING A LOT.

DAD, I'M TELLING YOU IT'S JUST A
PHASE THAT STUART'S GOING THROUGH.

I MEAN, PEOPLE
CHANGE, DOGS CHANGE.

LOOK, DID YOU EVER
READ PASSAGES?

WENDY. QUE PASA? HOW'S IT GOIN'?

HEY, STUART. HOW YOU
DOING, LITTLE FELLA?

MIKE, THIS ISN'T STUART.

WENDY. WENDY. WENDY.

NOW, WHO WOULD THIS
BE IF IT'S NOT STUART?

I DON'T KNOW, MIKE.

BUT THIS DOG CHANGES
COLORS WHEN HE GETS WET.

STUART WOULD NEVER DO THAT.

MIKE.

UM, YOU KNOW, THERE'S AN
ARTICLE ABOUT THIS IN THE PAPER.

THEY'RE SAYING PETS ARE CHANGING
COLORS LEFT AND RIGHT NOW.

IT'S THAT ACID RAIN, YOU KNOW.

MIKE, LOOK.

UM, THERE'S A SCHNAUZER IN
CINCINNATI THAT TURNED PURPLE.

THEY SAY IT'S
PERFECTLY NORMAL. MIKE.

I HAVE THE ARTICLE
UPSTAIRS. I'LL GO GET IT.

MIKE, STOP.

SIT.

NOW WHAT DID YOU DO TO STUART?

I LOST HIM.

LOOK, I LOOKED EVERYWHERE,
BUT I COULDN'T FIND HIM.

WENDY, I WOULD'VE
TOLD YOU THE TRUTH

BUT THEN I ASKED MYSELF:

WHAT IS TRUTH?

IS IT HONESTY?

OR IS IT PAIN AND GRIEVING?

OR IS IT THE SMILE ON A
BEAUTIFUL GIRL'S FACE?

I GUESS YOU KNOW
WHAT I THINK THE TRUTH IS.

NOW YOU TOOK A WHITE
DOG AND YOU DYED HIM BLACK.

HEY, WHEN SOMEBODY LEAVES
A BLACK DOG WITH MIKE SEAVER,

THEY GET A BLACK DOG BACK.

LOOK, WENDY, I'M REALLY
SORRY ABOUT ALL OF THIS.

I KNOW HOW MUCH YOU
MUST HAVE LOVED STUART.

ARE YOU KIDDING? WHO
COULD LOVE STUART?

WHAT?

MY FAMILY WENT ON VACATION
TO GET AWAY FROM STUART.

THEY WHAT?

BUT I LOVE THIS
DOG. HE'S SO SWEET.

I THINK I'LL NAME HIM MIKEY.

NO, MAKE THAT MIKEY-POO.

DID YOU HEAR THAT, DAD?

SHE'S GONNA NAME IT MIKEY-POO.

I'LL SEE YOU TONIGHT.

BYE.

YEAH, OK. BYE.

WELL, I LEARNED MY LESSON,
DAD. I'LL NEVER DO THAT AGAIN.

NO, YOU WON'T, MIKE.

BECAUSE YOU'RE GROUNDED
FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

DAD, YOU... LIFE?

AND A MONTH AFTER THAT.

WHAT'S WITH MIKE?

I JUST GROUNDED HIM FOR LIFE.

AGAIN?

I DO NOT BELIEVE IT.

HONEY, WHAT'S WRONG?

DAD, YOU'RE NOT GONNA
BELIEVE WHAT MELISSA TOLD ME.

WHAT?

MELISSA TOLD ME
THAT MARK TOLD KEVIN

THAT I SWEAT A LOT.

WELL, SWEETHEART, DIDN'T
WE DECIDE YESTERDAY

THAT MELISSA'S REALLY NOT
THAT RELIABLE A SOURCE?

YEAH, BUT, I MEAN, EVERYTHING'S
DIFFERENT NOW, DAD.

I MEAN, THE WHOLE
THING IS BLOWN WIDE OPEN.

YOU SEE, MELISSA
SAID THAT SHE...

HEY, WAIT. YOU KNOW,
THIS... THIS WOULD BE

A GOOD ONE TO RUN
BY THE OLD PRO HERE.

SWEETHEART.

OK.

BUT THEN I TALKED TO MARK, AND
HE SAID HE NEVER EVEN SAID THAT

OR THE GUMMY BEAR THING, EITHER.

MARK. WHO'S MARK?

BUT THEN CATHY TELLS ME
THAT SHE WAS RIGHT THERE

WHEN MARK TOLD KEVIN
THAT I DO SWEAT A LOT.

HONEY, IF YOU COULD JUST TELL ME

WHO MARK IS AND WHAT
HAPPENED YESTERDAY...

MOM, THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO
WITH WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY.

THE POINT IS I DON'T KNOW
WHETHER I TRUST MELISSA OR MARK,

CAUSE CATHY SAYS...

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, SWEETHEART.

NOW YOU SAID THAT CATHY
ALSO HAD A THING FOR KEVIN.

YEAH, SO?

WELL, THAT DOESN'T MAKE CATHY A
VERY RELIABLE SOURCE, EITHER. HMM.

OH, GOD, DAD. YOU
KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?

THIS MEANS EVERYBODY'S IN ON IT.

MAGGIE, WAIT.

DAD, IT'S JUST NOT FAIR.

HONEY, LOOK, IF KEVIN IS
REALLY WORTH CARING FOR,

THEN HE'S GONNA MAKE
UP HIS OWN MIND. HMM?

YEAH, WELL, I GUESS
HE ALREADY HAS,

'CAUSE HE DIDN'T
ASK ME TO THE DANCE.

MAGGIE, DON'T BE MAD.
CAROL'S JUST UPSET.

SHE DIDN'T MEAN TO EXCLUDE YOU.

I AM NOT MAD.

I AM JUST TIRED OF PEOPLE
TAKING THINGS OUT OF THE CABINETS

AND NOT PUTTING THEM
BACK WHERE THEY BELONG.

WELL, WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?

I DON'T KNOW.

WELL, ON THE OFF-CHANCE
THAT IT'S THE MANGO CHUTNEY,

WE FINISHED IT IN 1982.

COME ON, MAGGIE.

I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE FEELING.

YOU DO NOT HAVE ANY IDEA

WHAT I AM FEELING, DR. SEAVER.

HEY, LOOK...

NO, YOU MAY KNOW WHAT KEVIN,
MARK, AND MELISSA ARE FEELING,

BUT YOU DO NOT KNOW
WHAT I AM FEELING.

MAGGIE, I TRIED
TO INCLUDE YOU...

OH, DON'T PATRONIZE ME, JASON.

THROWING ME A BONE,
CALLING ME AN OLD PRO.

MAYBE IN A FEW YEARS YOU CAN
BRING ME BACK FOR OLD-TIMERS' DAY.

WE TALKED ABOUT ALL OF THIS.

I JUST HAPPENED TO BE
THE GUY WHO WAS HERE

THE DAY THE WHOLE GUMMY BEAR
THING EXPLODED IN OUR FACES.

IT'S NOT JUST THE
GUMMY BEARS, JASON.

IT'S THE WHOLE PAST 3 MONTHS.

OH. THE WAY YOU'VE BEEN
PAMPERING THE CHILDREN.

WHAT?

MAKING BEN'S FAVORITE
CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?

WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?
WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT IS

YOU'RE EDGING ME OUT
OF MY CHILDREN'S LIVES.

EDGING YOU OUT? IS
THAT WHAT YOU THINK?

I DON'T KNOW. YOU'RE THE EXPERT.

WHY DON'T YOU TELL
ME WHAT I THINK?

OK.

I THINK YOU FEEL GUILTY
ABOUT GOING BACK TO WORK.

OF COURSE I DO.

AND I THINK YOU WANT ME TO BE
HERE TO SPEND TIME WITH THE KIDS.

OF COURSE I DO.

AND I THINK YOU WANT
ME TO BE GOOD AT IT.

OF COURSE I DO.

BUT YOU DON'T WANT ME
TO BE AS GOOD AS YOU ARE.

OF COURSE I DO.

OH.

WELL,

MAYBE I DON'T.

YOU KNOW, MAGGIE,
UH, I WAS AT WORK

WHEN BEN TOOK HIS FIRST STEP,

AND WHEN CAROL SPOKE
HER FIRST SENTENCE,

AND WHEN MIKE

COMMITTED HIS FIRST ILLEGAL ACT.

I MISSED OUT ON ALL THAT.

AND NOW I HAVE THE CHANCE

TO BE CLOSER TO THE
KIDS, SPEND MORE TIME

AND YOU BEGRUDGE THAT?

OH, JASON, I DON'T. REALLY...

NO, MAYBE YOU DO. I
KNOW THAT FEELING, TOO.

BECAUSE IT'S TIME THAT GOES.

AND IT NEVER COMES BACK.

THEY GROW UP,

AND IT HURTS.

YEAH.

IT HURTS.

ARE YOU SORRY YOU
WENT BACK TO WORK?

YOU WANT TO COME HOME?

NO, I DON'T.

I GUESS...

I GUESS I JUST
WANT TO HAVE IT ALL.

BUT YOU CAN'T.

HOW'S CAROL?

WELL, SHE'S NOT GOING
TO THE DANCE WITH KEVIN.

OH, NO, THAT'S TOO BAD. HMM.

YEAH.

BUT SHE, UH, DOES HAVE A
CHANCE AT ANOTHER DATE

THAT SHE WAS
PRETTY EXCITED ABOUT.

REALLY? REALLY?
WHO WITH? OH, YEAH.

I DON'T KNOW
EXACTLY, BUT SHE SAID

SOMETHING ABOUT AN ALBINO HYENA.

FROM DETROIT?

YEAH. WELL, NOT ORIGINALLY, NO.

HELP! STUART'S BACK!

HEY, HEY, HEY, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.

WHY IS THE BUTLER
LYING ON HIS BACK?

HE'S PLAYING DEAD.

WHY IS GRANDMA
LYING ON HER BACK?

SHE IS DEAD.

OH, THOSE WACKY STURGEONS.

LOOK, THEY'RE ALL DEAD.