Growing Pains (1985–1992): Season 1, Episode 15 - Slice of Life II - full transcript

♪ SHOW ME THAT SMILE AGAIN ♪

♪ DON'T WASTE ANOTHER
MINUTE ON YOUR CRYIN' ♪

♪ WE'RE NOWHERE NEAR THE END ♪

♪ THE BEST IS READY TO BEGIN ♪

♪ AS LONG AS WE GOT EACH OTHER ♪

♪ WE GOT THE WORLD
SPINNIN' RIGHT IN OUR HANDS ♪

♪ BABY YOU AND ME ♪

♪ WE GOTTA BE ♪

♪ THE LUCKIEST DREAMERS
WHO NEVER QUIT DREAMIN' ♪

♪ AS LONG AS WE KEEP ON GIVIN' ♪

♪ WE CAN TAKE ANYTHING
THAT COMES OUR WAY ♪



♪ BABY, RAIN OR SHINE ♪

♪ ALL THE TIME ♪

♪ WE GOT EACH OTHER ♪

♪ SHARIN' THE
LAUGHTER AND LOVE ♪

[humming]

[screaming]

GIVE IT BACK. (Ben) NO WAY.

GIVE IT BACK. NO WAY.

LOOK OUT, MOM,
SHE'S A WILD WOMAN.

OK, STOP IT. BOTH OF YOU.

NOW, WHAT DID I TELL YOU

ABOUT DISTURBING YOUR
FATHER THIS WEEKEND?

WELL, IN A NUTSHELL,
YOU TOLD US NOT TO.

MMM-HMM, AND IF YOU DID?



YOU'D HANG US BY OUR
THUMBS IN THE BASEMENT.

THAT'S RIGHT. NOW,
GET ME THE ROPE.

[growling]

DAD, I'M CONFIDENT WHEN
YOU HEAR MY STORY...

[growls]

I'M SORRY, I'M
SORRY. I WAS WRONG.

DAD, I TRIED TO TELL
BEN TO BE QUIET,

BUT DID HE LISTEN?
NO, HE PERSISTED...

[growling]

I'M SORRY, I'M
SORRY. I WAS WRONG.

HOW'S THE PAPER COMING, HONEY?

[grunting]

I AGREE COMPLETELY, BUT
DON'T WORRY, YOU'LL GET IT DONE.

NOW, HOW DO YOU WANT YOUR EGGS?

[grunting]

UH, I'M SORRY, I THINK
WE'RE OUT OF TABASCO.

[grunting]

I'LL FIND SOME. I'LL FIND SOME.

HERE, TAKE THIS.

THIS'LL GET YOU STARTED, AND
I'LL BRING THE REST OUT IN A MINUTE.

[grunting]

UH, MOM, DID YOU JUST WAX
THIS FLOOR? BECAUSE I PICKED UP

[Jason growling] AN INCREDIBLE
AMOUNT OF SPEED...

I'M SORRY, I'M
SORRY. I WAS WRONG.

HERE. NOW, JASON,
GO BACK TO WORK.

[grunting] I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT.

MOM, IT WAS AN
ACCIDENT, I SWEAR.

MIKE, THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING.

IF WE CATCH YOU SKATEBOARDING
IN THE HOUSE AGAIN,

YOU'LL LOSE YOUR PHONE
PRIVILEGES, YOUR STEREO,

AND YOUR ALLOWANCE FOR 2 MONTHS.

MOM.

[growling] OK.

[knocking on door]

OH, HI, RICHIE.

HI, MRS. SEAVER.

[door closing] OH, NO.

RICHIE, DIDN'T YOU COLLECT
FOR THE PAPER YESTERDAY?

OH, THIS ISN'T A PROFESSIONAL
VISIT, MRS. SEAVER.

I'M HERE...

RICHIE, I TOLD YOU TO
MEET ME AT THE LIBRARY.

WELL, I JUST THOUGHT, I MEAN, IN
LIGHT OF OUR NEW RELATIONSHIP AND ALL,

THAT WE COULD WORK HERE.

RELATIONSHIP?

WHAT ARE YOU GUYS NOW, LIKE
BOYFRIEND AND GIRLFRIEND, HUH?

KIND OF GOING STEADY?

DIDN'T SHE TELL YOU?

CAROL AND I ARE MARRIED.

WHAT?

IT'S A SOCIAL STUDIES PROJECT.

YEAH, WE HAVE TO WORK OUT A
BUDGET FOR A MARRIED COUPLE.

A SIMULATED MARRIED COUPLE.

AW, COME ON, GUYS, I CAN
FEEL THE LOVE IN THIS ROOM.

SO, WHAT BROUGHT YOU
TWO KIDS TOGETHER, ANYWAY?

[sighing]

DESTINY.

OH, AND THE FACT THAT I PAID
OFF ALL THE OTHER GUYS IN CLASS

SO THEY WOULDN'T PICK YOU.

WHAT? RICHIE, YOU,
YOU BOUGHT ME?

YEAH.

I GUESS I'M JUST
OLD-FASHIONED THAT WAY.

THAT'S IT. I AM NOT DOING THIS
PROJECT WITH YOU. NOW, OUT!

IF WE DON'T TURN THE PAPER
IN MONDAY, WE GET AN F.

[exclaiming]

I CAN SEE THE HEADLINES NOW: "CAROL
SEAVER GETS AN F. NATION IN SHOCK.

PRESIDENT TO FLY BACK
FROM SANTA BARBARA."

MIKE.

OH, COME ON, RICHIE,
LET'S GET THIS OVER WITH.

READY WHEN YOU ARE, DEAR.

AW, ISN'T THAT CUTE...

NOT ANOTHER WORD.

♪ [Mike humming wedding march]

[typewriter keys clacking]

HEY. THANKS, HONEY.

JUST SET IT ON THE
DESK THERE, PLEASE.

OK, SURE.

UH, LISTEN, JASON. WHY
DON'T YOU TAKE A BREAK?

WE COULD HAVE A LITTLE CHAT.

OH, I CAN'T, HONEY.

I'VE REALLY GOT
TO GET THIS DONE.

OH.

BUT HOW ABOUT A SHORT BREAK,
AND THEN WE COULD TALK AND...

MAGGIE, NO, I'VE REALLY
GOT TO FINISH UP HERE.

BUT DON'T YOU THINK A
LITTLE CONVERSATION AND...

MAGGIE.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT?

WHO? ME?

OH, NOTHING.

OK.

GOSH, LOOK AT THIS
PICTURE OF THE KIDS.

MIKE MUST HAVE BEEN ABOUT 8
YEARS OLD. WASN'T HE A CUTIE-PIE?

I BELIEVE THE WORD HIS SECOND
GRADE TEACHER USED WAS "DEVIL BOY."

OH, COME ON, HE SENT
HER A CARD IN THE HOSPITAL.

YEAH.

OH, AND LOOK AT CAROL. SHE WAS
ALWAYS SUCH A QUICK LEARNER.

YEAH. THAT'S WHY SHE'S GOT
ALPHABET SOUP UP HER NOSE.

[laughing]

YEAH, LITTLE BEN.

HE WAS ALWAYS SUCH A HAPPY BABY.

YEAH. I REMEMBER THE
WAY HE USED TO LAUGH

EVERY TIME HE'D FILL A DIAPER.

[laughing] YEAH.

YOU KNOW, I WAS OVER AT, UH,
ELLEN HARPER'S THE OTHER DAY

AND I SAW JESSICA TAKE
HER FIRST STEPS. UH-HUH.

OH, IT WAS SO EXCITING.

I WOULD THINK SO. THE GIRL'S 17.

YOU'RE THINKING OF
MARJORIE. MARJORIE, YEAH.

ANYWAY, JASON, YOU
SHOULD'VE SEEN IT.

JESSICA STOOD UP ON
HER CHUBBY LITTLE LEGS,

AND TOOK 3 CHUBBY LITTLE STEPS,

AND THEN FELL ON HER
CHUBBY LITTLE FACE.

[laughing]

JASON,

DO YOU EVER THINK ABOUT
HAVING ANOTHER CHILD?

OH, YES, I DO, MAGGIE.

YES. SOMETIMES I
EVEN DREAM ABOUT IT.

YOU DO?

UH-HUH. AND THEN I
WAKE UP SCREAMING.

MAGGIE, I KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE GOING THROUGH.

YOU DO?

YES, YES. IT'S A SYNDROME,

AND IT'S VERY COMMON
AMONG WOMEN YOUR AGE

WHO SUDDENLY FEEL THE
URGE TO HAVE ONE MORE BABY.

WELL, WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?

WELL, NOTHING, EXCEPT
YOU'VE JUST GONE BACK TO WORK

AND WE'D HAVE TO ADD
A ROOM ONTO THE HOUSE.

ANYWAY, I THOUGHT WE ALREADY
HAD THE FAMILY WE WANTED.

OH, COME ON, JASON, THOSE
ARE JUST RATIONALIZATIONS,

BUT STOP AND THINK
ABOUT IT A MINUTE.

CAN YOU GIVE ME ONE REAL REASON

WHY WE SHOULDN'T
HAVE ANOTHER CHILD?

WAIT HERE.

OK, NEXT WE HAVE TO GO
OVER THE BASIC HOME EXPENSES,

WATER, HEAT, GAS, ELECTRIC...

ARE YOU WITH ME?

TILL DEATH DO US PART.

HEY, I HAVEN'T SEEN
YOU CRAZY KIDS

SINCE YOU GOT BACK
FROM THE HONEYMOON.

HEY, RICHIE, DID YOU HAVE
ANY TROUBLE FINDING A HOTEL

THAT WOULD TAKE PETS?

MIKE.

NO, IT'S ALL RIGHT,
CAROL, I'LL HANDLE THIS.

[sniffing]

MIKE,

I'LL HAVE TO ASK YOU
TO TAKE THAT BACK.

NO, NO, RICHIE,
DON'T GET ME WRONG.

I MEAN, CAROL'S A GREAT CATCH.

AND AS SOON AS SHE'S CLEANED,
SCALED AND DEBONED, SHE'S FINE.

AND NOW I'M WARNING YOU, MIKE.

NOBODY TALKS TO MY
SIMULATED WIFE LIKE THAT.

SIMULATED OR NOT,

I LOVE HER.

[screaming]

OH, NOW SEE WHAT YOU DONE?

HONEY, DON'T CRY.
YOUR RICHIE'S COMING.

[both laughing]

WHAT, ARE YOU CRAZY?

MOM TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT.

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA
DO? TELL ON ME?

I'M KICKIN' IT AROUND.

HOW YOU GONNA PROVE IT?

[groans]

[glass shattering]

OH, I DON'T THINK EVIDENCE
WILL BE SUCH A PROBLEM.

BEN, BEN, BEN.

WHAT CAN I SAY ABOUT YOU
THAT HASN'T ALREADY BEEN SAID?

THAT I'M ABOUT TO
BECOME A RICH MAN.

LOOK, BEN, YOU GOT TO
TAKE THE RAP FOR ME HERE.

NOW, YOU'RE A
FIRST-TIME OFFENDER.

MOM AND DAD'LL ONLY MAKE
YOU PAY FOR THE WINDOW,

AND I'LL PAY YOU BACK
FOR THAT. THAT, PLUS $30.

$30? OVERHEAD.

BEN, I DON'T HAVE
THAT KIND OF MONEY.

I'M SORRY TO HEAR THAT, MIKE.

(Jason) HEY, WHAT'S
GOING ON IN THERE?

BEN, YOU'RE MY
BROTHER. I LOVE YOU.

OK, MIKE, I'M GONNA CUT
YOU SOME SLACK HERE.

BECAUSE, AFTER ALL, MONEY
ISN'T THAT IMPORTANT, IS IT, MIKE?

NO. NO.

WHAT'S MORE IMPORTANT IS
WHAT ONE HUMAN BEING CAN DO

FOR ANOTHER HUMAN BEING.

RIGHT, RIGHT.

THAT'S WHY I'D LIKE YOU TO BE MY
PERSONAL SERVANT FOR THE WEEKEND.

WHAT? YOU LITTLE...

HEY, WHAT WAS THAT NOISE IN...

(Maggie) OH. HEY, WHO DID THIS?

IS THAT A SKATEBOARD?

[whispering] OK, OK, I'LL DO IT.

MOM, DAD, I KNOW
THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE,

BUT I WAS FOOLIN' AROUND
ON MIKE'S SKATEBOARD,

AND THE THING WENT FLYIN'.

YOU DID THIS, BEN?

YEAH. AND I'M REALLY,
REALLY SORRY.

WELL, SORRY JUST
ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH, BEN.

THAT'S GONNA COME
OUT OF YOUR ALLOWANCE.

AND IF WE EVER CATCH YOU
SKATEBOARDING IN THE HOUSE AGAIN,

YOU'RE GONNA DISCOVER THE
TRUE MEANING OF THE WORD "SORRY."

WELL, I'D BETTER CLEAN
UP THAT BROKEN GLASS.

ALL RIGHT, LITTLE BRO.

WE HANDLED THAT PRETTY WELL.

FREEZE, SLEAZE.

WHAT?

I BELIEVE WE HAD A
LITTLE ARRANGEMENT.

WAIT... WAIT A MINUTE, BEN,
YOU DIDN'T TAKE THAT LITTLE JOKE

ABOUT THE SERVANT
BUSINESS SERIOUSLY, DID YOU?

OH, MOM.

I OUGHT TO... AH, AH, AH.

PAMPER YOU SILLY.

I HAVE MY FIGURES READY.

WE'RE STILL WAY UNDER BUDGET.

RICHIE, YOU'VE GOT $0
DOWN FOR ENTERTAINMENT.

I KIND OF FIGURED WE'D
HAVE HOME ENTERTAINMENT.

HOW DO YOU THINK
WE GOT 11 CHILDREN?

11 CHILDREN?

I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

I MEAN, FIRST YOU
BUY ME, AND THEN

YOU TURN ME INTO A BABY MACHINE.

I THOUGHT THAT'S
WHAT WE BOTH WANTED.

THAT'S IT. I'LL TELL
YOU WHAT I WANT.

I WANT A SEPARATION.

WE'RE DIVIDING THE BUDGET
INTO 2 SEPARATE HOUSEHOLDS.

WHA-WHAT ABOUT THE KIDS?

YOU KEEP THE KIDS.

YOU'LL BE HEARING
FROM MY ATTORNEY.

GOD, SHE'S CUTE
WHEN SHE'S ANGRY.

YOUR SANDWICH.

OH, DEAR. WHAT DO I SEE HERE?

BEN, IT'S JUST LIKE YOU
ORDERED, 3 PARTS PEANUT BUTTER,

ONE PART MARSHMALLOW,
A DOLLOP OF CREAM CHEESE

TOPPED WITH ONE
AND A HALF RAISINS.

YES, BUT I STILL SEE
A SPECK OF CRUST.

YOU KNOW MY
FEELINGS ABOUT CRUST.

OK, I'LL CUT IT OFF.

NO, MICHAEL, THAT JUST WON'T DO.

IN THE STATE I'M IN, I'LL NEED
AN ALL-NEW ANOTHER SANDWICH.

A NEW SANDWICH?

I SEE SALAMI,

AND CHEESE, AND A
TANGY FRENCH MUSTARD.

I OUGHT TO...

OH, MOM.

OK, OK.

"OK, OK," WHAT?

OK, OK, LORD BEN.

[typewriter keys clacking]

MIND IF I SIT HERE A SECOND?

SURE, FINE, SIT.

YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN THINKING...

SURE, FINE, THINK.

ABOUT THAT SUMMER
HOME ON SQUAM LAKE,

YOU KNOW, MAYBE WE SHOULD HOLD
OFF PUTTING DOWN THAT DEPOSIT.

SURE, FINE, HOLD OFF.

BECAUSE IF WE STAY
HOME THIS SUMMER

MAYBE WE COULD ADD THAT
NEW ROOM ONTO THE HOUSE.

SURE, FINE, ADD A ROOM.

I WAS THINKING WE'D
NEED AN ADDITION

BECAUSE I MIGHT
BE HAVING A BABY.

SURE, FINE, HAVE A BABY.

[typewriter whirring]

A BABY?

NOW, I'M NOT SURE YET.

THE DOCTOR HAS TO CALL BACK
AT 2:00 WITH THE TEST RESULTS.

A BABY?

OH, JASON, I DIDN'T
TELL YOU SOONER

BECAUSE I KNEW YOU NEEDED TO
CONCENTRATE ON YOUR ARTICLE,

BUT THEN I GOT SO NERVOUS
WAITING FOR THE DOCTOR'S CALL...

MAGGIE, DO YOU KNOW
WHAT THIS MEANS?

IT MEANS WE'RE HAVING A BABY.

YOU MEAN YOU'RE GLAD?

GLAD?

[laughing]

MAGGIE, "GLAD" DOESN'T
BEGIN TO DESCRIBE HOW I FEEL.

I FEEL... REALLY GLAD!

BUT JASON, I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T
WANT TO HAVE ANOTHER CHILD.

WELL, THAT WAS BEFORE
I GOT TO KNOW HIM.

OH, HONEY, IT'S SO WEIRD
THAT THIS SHOULD HAPPEN NOW

JUST WHEN I STARTED
BACK TO WORK.

I GUESS I'LL... WELL, I GUESS I'LL JUST
HAVE TO QUIT MY JOB TO BE A MOMMY.

NO. NO, NO. DON'T YOU SEE?

IT'S DIFFERENT
THIS TIME, MAGGIE.

I'M ALREADY HOME.
I'LL BE THE MOMMY.

I GUESS THAT RULES
OUT BREASTFEEDING.

[chuckling]

NO... YEAH.

BUT I CAN DO EVERYTHING ELSE.

I... I CAN... I CAN BATHE HIM, I
CAN BURP HIM, I CAN CHANGE HIM.

I'LL GUIDE HIS DESTINY.

THIS IS MY CHANCE.

THIS IS MY CHANCE TO RECAPTURE

ALL THE THINGS I'VE MISSED
WITH THE OTHER KIDS.

LIKE THEIR CRYING ALL DAY LONG?

I'LL WEAR EARPLUGS.

LIKE TONS OF DIRTY DIAPERS?

I'LL WEAR NOSE PLUGS.

3:00 A.M. FEEDINGS?

MAGGIE, IF YOU'RE GONNA HAVE
A NEGATIVE ATTITUDE ABOUT THIS

IT'S A GOOD THING
I'M RAISING THIS KID.

WELL, IF THAT'S THE WAY YOU FEEL
ABOUT IT, HAVE YOUR OWN DARN BABY.

I COULD IF I WANTED TO.

MAGGIE,

I WANT TO HAVE YOUR BABY.

OH, JASON, THAT'S SWEET.

♪ BABY, BABY, BABY, BABY ♪

♪ [both humming]

[clacking]

HI, CAROL.

HOW'S IT GOIN'?

FINE. HOW ARE THINGS WITH YOU?

OH, CAROL, YOU GOTTA COME BACK.

I CAN'T MAKE IT
ALONE ON MY BUDGET.

HEY, YOU'VE GOT JUST
AS MUCH MONEY AS I DO.

I'VE GOT ALL 11 KIDS.

WE LIVE IN A SHACK. ALL WE
HAVE TO EAT IS FISH FOOD.

RICHIE, I THINK YOU'RE GETTING
A LITTLE CARRIED AWAY HERE.

HEY, I THINK I'M ENTITLED

TO GET A LITTLE
CARRIED AWAY FOR MY $60.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

WELL, THAT'S WHAT I HAD TO
PAY TO GET YOU AS A PARTNER.

BUT, RICHIE, THAT'S CRAZY.

I MEAN, THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY.

AW,

MONEY ISN'T EVERYTHING, CAROL.

I WOULD'VE PAID $600 FOR
YOU, IF THAT'S WHAT IT TOOK.

THAT'S THE SWEETEST

AND MOST BORDERLINE PSYCHOTIC
THING ANYONE'S EVER SAID TO ME.

HEY, THAT'S JUST
THE KIND OF GUY I AM.

BUT I GUESS THAT'S NOT
GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU.

LOOK, RICHIE.

MAYBE WE CAN ARRANGE A,

A SIMULATED TRIAL
RECONCILIATION,

UNTIL MONDAY.

OH, CAROL,

WELCOME HOME.

WAIT TILL I TELL THE KIDS.

YOUR RAMBO DOLL CLOTHES ARE
READY, YOUR MOST EXALTED BEN.

OH, MICHAEL, WE ARE NOT PLEASED.

RAMBO'S CREASE
HERE LOOKS TERRIBLE.

HOW'S THE MAN SUPPOSED
TO DEFEND OUR COUNTRY

IN WRINKLED PANTS?

[oven timer buzzing]

OH, MY COOKIES
ARE READY, MICHAEL.

AND I LIKE THEM HOT.

RIGHT.

[bell dings]

CHANNEL 7, MIKE.

MY COOKIES, MICHAEL.

I COULD SWEAR I
SMELL THEM BURNING.

RIGHT.

[telephone ringing]

THE PHONE, MICHAEL.

SEAVER RESIDENCE.
HOME OF THE ROYAL BEN...

JENNIFER, HI.

JENNIFER?

I SAID, NO PERSONAL CALLS.

BEN, THAT WAS WONDERBUNS.

[telephone ringing]

HELLO, WONDERBUNS? BIG BEN HERE.

MIKE IS NOT AVAILABLE...

MIKE, WHAT DO YOU
THINK YOU'RE DOING?

I'M REVOLTING.

NO ARGUMENT THERE, MIKE.

WHY, YOU LITTLE... I'M GONNA
TELL DAD YOU BROKE THE WINDOW.

WELL, I'M GONNA TELL DAD YOU'RE A
BLACKMAILER, YOU LITTLE GANGSTER.

WELL, DAD'S GONNA GROUND YOU.

WELL, DAD'S GONNA
GROUND YOU AND SPANK YOU.

HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, YOU TWO.

YOU BOYS LOOK SO CUTE, I
GOTTA TAKE YOUR PICTURE.

[laughing]

YEAH, HEY, YOU REMEMBER WHEN
YOU GUYS WERE JUST LITTLE BABIES,

HOW WE USED TO PLAY PAT A CAKE?

YEAH. THAT WAS BIG TIME FUN.

WHAT DO YOU SAY WE PLAY
A QUICK GAME RIGHT NOW?

YEAH, THAT'S GOOD.

IF I WERE YOU,
I'D GET IN ON THIS.

[laughing]

(both) "PAT A CAKE, PAT
A CAKE, BAKER'S MAN

BAKE ME A CAKE
AS FAST AS YOU CAN"

OH, BOYS, YOU'RE BOTH GROUNDED
UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE, OK?

SMILE, COME ON.

PAT A CAKE, PAT A CAKE.

[sighs]

I'M FINISHED.

OH, THAT'S GREAT, HONEY.

I KNEW YOU'D FINISH
YOUR PAPER TODAY.

NO, NOT MY PAPER.

I COULDN'T CONCENTRATE ON MY
PAPER. I HAVE A LIST OF BABY NAMES.

OH.

HERE'S MY FIRST CHOICE. THIS
IS DISTINCTIVE, IT'S COMMANDING,

IT'S NOBLE. IT'S JULIUS.

[laughing]

JULIUS SEAVER?

NOT BAD, HUH?

I GOT PLENTY MORE, JUST IN CASE.

JUST IN CASE OF WHAT?

WELL, JUST IN CASE HE
TURNED OUT TO BE A COMEDIAN.

SID SEAVER?

AND IF HE WERE AN ALL-AMERICAN,
EVERYDAY KID. MMM-HMM.

(both) BEAVER SEAVER.

[both laughing]

JASON, WHAT IF HE'S A GIRL?

OH-OH. I BETTER
GET BACK TO WORK.

OH, JASON, I WAS THINKING THAT IF
IT'S A GIRL, THAT WE COULD NAME HER

REBECCA.

OH.

REBECCA SEAVER.
THAT'S PRETTY. I LIKE THAT.

I HOPE SHE LOOKS JUST LIKE YOU.

OH, ME, TOO.

BECAUSE SHE'D LOOK KIND
OF SILLY WITH A HAIRY CHEST.

[both laughing]

[telephone ringing]
OH, THAT'S HIM.

OH, DON'T ANSWER IT. WHAT?

WE'VE BOTH GOT TO BE ON
THE PHONE AT THE SAME TIME.

I'LL GET THE PHONE IN
THE LIVING ROOM. HOLD ON.

OK, OK, HURRY.

GO.

HELLO? YES, DOCTOR.

UH-HUH.

I SEE.

YES.

WELL, THANK YOU
FOR CALLING, DOCTOR.

WELL, I GUESS IT'S
ALL FOR THE BEST.

I MEAN, I WASN'T REALLY READY
TO GO THROUGH ALL THAT AGAIN.

AND IT WOULDN'T HAVE
BEEN FAIR TO ASK YOU TO TAKE

SO MUCH TIME AWAY FROM
YOUR PRACTICE. I MEAN, I GUESS...

I GUESS IT JUST ISN'T THE TIME.

[sighs]

YOU REALLY WANTED TO
HAVE A BABY, DIDN'T YOU?

YEAH. I GUESS I DID.

WELL, I DID, TOO.

I GUESS WE COULD LOOK AT THIS
AS GOOD NEWS AND BAD NEWS.

[sniffling]

BAD NEWS IS THAT WE'RE NOT
GOING TO HAVE A BABY RIGHT NOW.

AND THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT WE
CAN KEEP TRYING TO HAVE A BABY.

[laughs]

EVEN IF IT TAKES WEEKS.

OR MONTHS?

YES, THE IMPORTANT
THING IS THAT WE KEEP AT IT.

WELL, I'M WILLING TO DO MY PART.

ALL RIGHT, THE PARTY'S
OVER. LET'S GET TO WORK.

[laughing]

(Mike) BEN, GIVE
ME MY SKATEBOARD.

(Ben) NOT UNTIL YOU GET MY
UNDERWEAR DOWN FROM THE ROOF.

VERY IMPRESSIVE, HONEY.

I MIGHT EVEN GO SO FAR AS TO
SAY THAT YOUR PAPER IS BRILLIANT.

OH, GO SO FAR, SAY IT.

WHAT DO YOU SAY WE
CELEBRATE OVER DINNER?

OH, GOOD IDEA.

[bell dings]

YES, YOUR MOMNESS.
YES, YOUR DADNESS.

WE'LL HAVE 2 CLUB SANDWICHES.

JUST A HINT OF MAYO,
ON WHOLE-WHEAT TOAST.

OH, AND HOLD THE CRUST.

YOU KNOW HOW WE
FEEL ABOUT CRUST.