Growing Pains (1985–1992): Season 1, Episode 16 - The Seavers vs. the Cleavers - full transcript

IT'S 8:30, GUYS.

THE 8:00 BUS WILL BE
HERE IN 10 MINUTES.

AND I STILL GOTTA GET READY.

BEN. SCHOOL.

FORGOT TO GIVE YOU GUYS THIS.

IT'S A LETTER FROM THE
PARENTS ASSOCIATION.

IXNAY ON THE ETTERLAY, CAROL.

I'LL TAKE IT. LET ME SEE THAT.

"DEAR FELLOW
PARENTS, OUR PROGRAM

"OF WEEKLY DANCES IS IN JEOPARDY

"OWING TO THE FACT THAT
MANY OF YOU HAVE NOT FULFILLED



"YOUR PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITIES
AND MADE YOURSELVES

"AVAILABLE FOR CHAPERONING.

"YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND, MORE
IMPORTANTLY, WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

"SINCERELY, MRS. ADOLF HITLER.

JUNE HINCKLEY, PRESIDENT OF THE
PARENTS ASSOCIATION." NICE TONE.

NOW, COME ON NOW,
BUSY PEOPLE LIKE YOU GUYS

HAVE FAR BETTER THINGS TO DO

THAN TO HANG
AROUND A SMELLY GYM.

EMBARRASSING MIKE.

YEAH.

I MEAN, NO.

EMBARRASS?

THAT WAS HER WORD,
NOT MY WORD, MOM.

I DON'T CARE IF THEY
CHAPERONE DANCES. BYE.



IT'S 'CAUSE YOU'VE
NEVER BEEN TO ONE.

MIKE, DID YOU GET
ONE OF THESE LETTERS?

YEAH, SURE.

WELL? WHERE IS IT?

COME ON, MOM. GIVE ME
SOME KIND OF CREDIT HERE.

LOOK, I'M NOT GONNA
BOTHER YOU GUYS

WITH A STUPID LETTER LIKE THAT.

LOOK, I TRY TO SCREEN
THESE THINGS FOR YOU GUYS.

YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW,
CUT DOWN ON THE JUNK MAIL,

PROTECT YOUR VALUABLE TIME.

IT'S STUCK TO THE
CEILING IN THE BOYS' JOHN.

♪ SHOW ME THAT SMILE AGAIN ♪

♪ DON'T WASTE ANOTHER
MINUTE ON YOUR CRYIN' ♪

♪ WE'RE NOWHERE NEAR THE END ♪

♪ THE BEST IS READY TO BEGIN ♪

♪ AS LONG AS WE GOT EACH OTHER ♪

♪ WE GOT THE WORLD
SPINNIN' RIGHT IN OUR HANDS ♪

♪ BABY, YOU AND ME ♪

♪ WE GOTTA BE ♪

♪ THE LUCKIEST DREAMERS
WHO NEVER QUIT DREAMIN' ♪

♪ AS LONG AS WE KEEP ON GIVIN' ♪

♪ WE CAN TAKE ANYTHING
THAT COMES OUR WAY ♪

♪ BABY, RAIN OR SHINE ♪

♪ ALL THE TIME ♪

♪ WE GOT EACH OTHER ♪

♪ SHARIN' THE
LAUGHTER AND LOVE ♪

BEN, THE BUS.

USE IT OR LOSE IT.

COME ON, BEN, I THINK YOU'RE
SPENDING FAR TOO MUCH TIME STUDYING

AND NOT NEARLY
ENOUGH HORSING AROUND.

HEY!

I'M KIDDING. BEN KNOWS WHEN
THE OLD DAD IS KIDDING. RIGHT, BEN?

AYE, MILORD.

"AYE, MILORD"?

IT'S FROM ROBIN HOOD.

THAT'S THE SCHOOL
PLAY THIS YEAR.

OH, YOU MEAN YOU
WEREN'T CALLING ME,

"MILORD" AS A
MEASURE OF RESPECT?

[chuckling]

THAT'S FUNNY, DAD.

SEE, HE DOES KNOW WHEN
HIS OLD DAD'S KIDDING.

THIS YEAR I'M GONNA GET A PART.

WELL, LET'S HOPE, BUT I
REMEMBER LAST YEAR'S AUDITIONS,

HOW HEARTBROKEN YOU WERE.

COME ON, DAD. I WAS JUST A KID.

OH, I SEE. SO THIS YEAR AS THE
ONLY ADULT IN THE THIRD GRADE

YOU OUGHT TO HAVE A BIG EDGE.

THAT'S HOW I FIGURE IT.

NOW GOOD LUCK.

BYE, HONEY.

BREAK A LEG!

WHAT?

FIGURE OF SPEECH.

OH.

JASON,

WHEN YOU WERE MIKE'S AGE
WOULD YOU HAVE BEEN AFRAID

OR EMBARRASSED TO HAVE
YOUR PARENTS CHAPERONE?

OH, SURE. I... I WENT
THROUGH THAT STAGE.

MY DAD VOLUNTEERED TO
CHAPERONE ONE OF OUR CLASS TRIPS.

I BEGGED HIM NOT TO.

I SAID, "DAD, BUT I'M NOT
GOING TO DO ANYTHING."

HE SAID, "WELL, THAT'S FINE. THEN
YOU CAN NOT DO IT WITH ME THERE."

HEY, LOOKING GOOD, DAD.

VICIOUS ENSEMBLE, MOM.

YOU BOTH HAVE A NICE
DAY, NOW, YOU HEAR?

HALT!

MOM, I MIGHT MISS THAT DARN BUS.

MMM-HMM. OPEN THE COAT.

IS THIS COOL OR WHAT?

MIKE, DO YOU REALLY THINK YOU'VE
DRESSED APPROPRIATELY FOR SCHOOL?

HECK, NO. WHY WOULD
I WANT TO DO THAT?

CHANGE NOW.

DAD?

MIKE. NOW, MIKE, IF... IF YOU
THINK THAT THIS CONVEYS

THE PROPER IMAGE,
NOT JUST FOR YOURSELF,

BUT FOR THE FAMILY
YOU REPRESENT,

THEN, BY ALL MEANS,
GO AHEAD AND WEAR

A RUBBER FOWL ON YOUR STOMACH.

SEE YOU.

JASON.

I DON'T KNOW WHY THAT WORKS, BUT
IT'S REALLY STARTING TO BURN ME UP.

YOU KNOW, UM, YOU SHOULDN'T
JUDGE THE SCHOOL BY THE FIRST DAY.

AND YOU HAVE TO OVERLOOK
ALL THE AVERAGE PEOPLE.

IT IS A PUBLIC SCHOOL.

WELL, I'M USED TO THAT, CAROL.

YOU'D BE SURPRISED HOW MANY AVERAGE
PEOPLE THERE ARE IN LOS ANGELES.

MY OLD SCIENCE TEACHER WOULDN'T
EVEN LET ME BUILD A SMALL MODEL

OF A THERMONUCLEAR
DEVICE FOR A SCIENCE PROJECT.

FISSION OR FUSION?

OH, FUSION, OF COURSE.

OF COURSE.

I PLAN TO FIT IN AT THIS SCHOOL.

SURE, I'VE ALREADY JOINED THE
DANCE DECORATION COMMITTEE.

OH?

WILL YOU BE, UH, AT THE
DANCE THEN TOMORROW NIGHT?

OH, SURE.

WILL YOU, UM, BE DANCING?

I HAVEN'T MADE UP MY MIND YET.

I MIGHT JUST OBSERVE.

HI, MIKE.

HEY, SKUNK-BREATH.

BROTHER.

(Jason) MIKE, IS THAT YOU?

WHAT'D I DO?

NOTHING.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

IT'S YOU, DAD.

YEAH. THAT'S WHAT
ALL THE PATIENTS SAID.

DAD, DAD! WAIT TILL YOU...

UP HERE, BEN.

DAD, I GOT A PART! I GOT CAST!

HEY, ALL RIGHT! GOOD FOR YOU!

WHAT'D YOU GET? ONE
OF ROBIN'S MERRY MEN?

NOPE.

FRIAR TUCK?

NOPE. BETTER.

NOT ROBIN?

NO, BETTER.

WHAT?

A ROCK.

A ROCK?

AN ENGLISH ROCK.

WELL, I HOPE THE HOURS
REQUIRED REHEARSING THIS PART

WON'T INTERFERE
WITH YOUR STUDIES.

THAT'S THE BEST PART.

I CAN BE IN THE PLAY,

GO TO ALL THE PARTIES AND
ALL I HAVE TO DO IS LAY THERE.

MY SON, THE ROCK.

YEAH!

NOW, JASON, I WANT TO TALK
TO YOU ABOUT THIS SHIRT.

NOW, IF THIS IS THE PROPER
IMAGE YOU WISH TO CONVEY

NOT ONLY FOR YOURSELF, BUT
FOR THE FAMILY YOU REPRESENT...

OK, ALL RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT, IT'S A SHAME, THOUGH.

I WAS THINKING OF
WEARING THIS WHEN YOUR

MOM AND I CHAPERONE
YOUR SCHOOL DANCE.

WHAT?

YOU'RE NOT REALLY
GOING TO CHAPERONE?

HAD YOU GOING THERE
FOR A SECOND, DIDN'T I?

[both sighing]

PUT IT THERE.

YEAH. ALL RIGHT.

HEY, WAIT A MINUTE. WHAT'S THIS?

WHAT? WHAT?

FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YOUR
LIVES, YOU 2 AGREE ON SOMETHING.

THAT'S BETTER.

I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU DIDN'T CARE
WHETHER THEY CHAPERONED OR NOT.

WELL, I DON'T. REALLY.

CAROL, YOU DON'T EVEN
GO TO THESE DANCES.

WELL, I MIGHT GO TO THIS ONE.

I'M KEEPING MY OPTIONS OPEN.

SHE JUST WANTS TO
GO BECAUSE THAT GEEK

OUT ON THE FRONT
PORCH WANTS TO GO.

HE'S NOT A GEEK. HE'S
FROM LOS ANGELES.

YOU'RE BREATHING
HEAVY FOR HIM, CAROL.

I AM NOT. WE WERE DISCUSSING

NUCLEAR WEAPONS.

SEE? PERFECTLY HARMLESS.

CAROL, YOU'RE JUST AFRAID
THAT IF MOM AND DAD CHAPERONE,

YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO WEAR
MAKEUP AND GO SLOW DANCING

AND RUN OFF INTO THE
PARKING LOT WITH THAT GOON.

MICHAEL!

PARKING LOT? MY LITTLE GIRL?

HEAVY BREATHING?

LOS ANGELES?

DON'T LISTEN TO HIM, DAD.

YOU KNOW, CHAPERONING
IS NOT ALL BAD.

WHAT?

DAD, I'M NOT GONNA DO ANYTHING.

FINE. THEN YOU CAN
NOT DO IT WITH ME THERE.

IF YOU WANT TO HIT
ME, I WON'T STOP YOU.

[humming]

[whistling]

[both chuckling]

SEE? I KNEW IT. I
CAN'T WEAR THIS.

CHAPERONES ARE SUPPOSED TO
LOOK STODGY AND RESPECTABLE.

WELL, THEN WHY DON'T
YOU WEAR THIS ONE?

YOU THINK THAT DRESS IS STODGY?

THIS ONE?

STODGY? HA, I'M KIDDING.

I LOVE THIS DRESS.
IT'S MY FAVORITE DRESS.

I HAVE DREAMS ABOUT THIS DRESS.

OK.

OH, SWEETHEART, I HAVEN'T HAD THE
CHANCE TO TELL YOU HOW SURPRISED

AND HAPPY I WAS THAT YOU CHANGED
YOUR MIND AND AGREED TO DO THIS.

IT SHOWS REAL MATURITY.

WELL, THAT'S ME.

MATURE, YET CURIOUSLY JUVENILE.

AND, OF COURSE, THE FACT THAT
CAROL'S GOING HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.

CAROL WHO?

IT'S OK. IT'S OK.

I LOVE YOU WHEN YOU'RE
HOPELESSLY OLD-FASHIONED.

MMM-HMM.

YOU REALIZE THIS IS EXACTLY THE
SORT OF BEHAVIOR WE'RE SUPPOSED

TO PREVENT TOMORROW NIGHT.

MMM-HMM.

BUT THIS IS TONIGHT.

ISN'T LIFE CRAZY? I MEAN, I MEET
YOU FOR THE FIRST TIME YESTERDAY

AND THEN I FIND OUT THAT WE'RE ON
THE SAME DECORATING COMMITTEE.

CRAZY, CRAZY, CRAZY.

MY PARENTS ARE
CHAPERONING TONIGHT.

I'M SORRY.

THANK YOU. IT CAME
AS QUITE A SHOCK.

I CAN IMAGINE.

MY PARENTS CHAPERONED ONCE.

HOW WAS IT?

IT WAS MORTIFYING.

THEY...

CAROL, THEY DANCED.

OH, MY GOD!

MY FATHER STARTED
FLAILING HIS ARMS

LIKE SOME HUGE
THRASHING MACHINE.

MY MOTHER, SHE KIND
OF HOPPED AND CLAPPED

AND YELLED "HEY"
IN TIME TO THE MUSIC.

WHAT A NIGHTMARE.

WARD?

MRS. HINCKLEY.

YOU'VE DONE OUR
SCHOOL PROUD, AS USUAL.

THANK YOU, WARD.

IF ALL THE LADIES IN THE PARENTS
ASSOCIATION WERE LIKE YOU,

IT WOULD SURE CHANGE MY LIFE.

THANK YOU.

UH, WE LOVED YOUR
CHAPERONE LETTER.

IT REALLY DID THE TRICK.

WONDERFUL. WHO IS
CHAPERONING TONIGHT?

THE SEAVERS.

(Mrs. Hinckley) WARD?

UH, YES?

I DON'T KNOW.

MAYBE IT'S OK FOR A MAN TO RUN

A PSYCHIATRIC PRACTICE
OUT OF THE HOME,

AND MAYBE IT'S ALL RIGHT FOR
A WOMAN TO GO BACK TO WORK

JUST WHEN HER
CHILDREN NEED HER MOST.

AND MAYBE LETTING OUR
OFFSPRING RUN WILD IS HUNKY-DORY.

AND MAYBE I'M JUST
OLD-FASHIONED.

COULD BE.

WARD.

WARD, I'M WORRIED
ABOUT THE SEAVERS.

I MEAN, THE TYPE OF PEOPLE
WE NEED FOR CHAPERONES

SHOULD BE ABLE TO
CONTROL THEIR OWN CHILDREN.

WOW, THAT'S A
PRETTY HIGH STANDARD.

BOY, YOUR PARENTS
SOUND WORSE THAN MINE.

HI, HONEY.

WELL, HI. YOU'RE HOME EARLY.

SLOW NEWS DAY.

OH, WELL, THEN THE LORD
AND LADY OF THE MANOR

HAVE THE CASTLE
ALL TO THEMSELVES.

MMM-HMM.

HEY, GUYS, HOW YOU DOING?

[phone ringing]

I'LL GET IT.

THAT DOES IT, I QUIT THE PLAY.

OH, BEN, YOU'RE NOT GOING
TO BE A ROCK AFTER ALL?

NO WAY.

FRIAR TUCK SITS ON
ME ALL THROUGH ACT 2.

WELL, UH, THAT'S OK THEN, WE CAN
CHAPERONE ANOTHER TIME. MMM-HMM.

WELL, UH, THANK YOU
FOR CALLING, MRS. HITLER...

HINCKLEY.

ALL RIGHT. BYE.

YOU MEAN WE AREN'T CHAPERONING?

(Jason) NO.

OH, SOMEBODY PINCH
ME. I'M DREAMING.

THIS IS GREAT.

NO, IT'S NOT.

WHAT ARE YOU, NUTS?

FORGET IT, I ALREADY
KNOW THE ANSWER.

DID SHE TELL YOU WHY?

WELL, APPARENTLY THEY'VE
DOUBLE-BOOKED THE CHAPERONES THIS WEEK.

WELL, SHE LIED TO YOU.

THE REASON YOU'RE NOT
CHAPERONING IS BECAUSE

YOU'RE UNACCEPTABLE PARENTS.

UNACCEPTABLE PARENTS?

CAROL, YOU HEARD THIS?

NOT JUST ME.

SCOTTY SIEGLER HEARD
EVERY WORD OF IT.

ALL RIGHT!

I DON'T GET IT.

SHE SAID I HAVE A MOTHER
WHO ABANDONED ME,

A BROTHER WHO'S A DELINQUENT, A
FATHER WHO RUNS A MENTAL WARD AT HOME.

SHE MADE MY LIFE SOUND
LIKE A MOVIE OF THE WEEK.

I'LL KILL HER.

MAGGIE, DON'T GET UPSET.

JASON, HOW CAN YOU
STAND THERE SO CALMLY?

ACTUALLY, I HAVE DEEPLY ROOTED
FEELINGS OF ANGER AND HOSTILITY.

I JUST REFUSE TO GIVE
VENT TO THEM UNTIL

WE FIND OUT IF THERE'S
SOME MISUNDERSTANDING.

I'LL GIVE HER A VENT.

THIS WILL BE ALL OVER
SCHOOL BY TOMORROW.

OH, CAROL, IT WILL NOT.

HOW'S ANYBODY GOING TO HEAR?

NO, MAN, I'M NOT KIDDING. THAT'S
WHAT THEY SAID: "UNACCEPTABLE."

ALL RIGHT, HOLD ON.

I HAVE SOMEONE ELSE
ON THE OTHER LINE.

MIKE, THIS IS NOTHING
TO BRAG ABOUT.

I KNOW, DAD. HELLO?

OH, HI, JERRY. OH,
YOU HEARD. YEAH!

THEY DON'T WANT MY PARENTS
WITHIN A MILE OF THAT SCHOOL.

I'LL NEVER LIVE THIS DOWN.

JUST A MINUTE.

YESTERDAY YOU WERE EMBARRASSED
BECAUSE WE WERE ACCEPTABLE.

EXACTLY.

NOW DO YOU SEE WHAT
YOU'RE PUTTING ME THROUGH?

THIS IS ABSOLUTELY UNBELIEVABLE.

YEAH. WE'RE GARBAGE!

DO YOU PROMISE TO
HOLD YOUR TEMPER?

YES. ARE YOU LYING?

YES.

[doorbell chiming]

[mimicking chime sound]

HI-HO, YOU MUST BE THE SEAVERS.

CALL ME JIMBO.

HI-HO.

GO ON IN. I HAVE
BBQ DETAIL TONIGHT.

SEE? THESE ARE
REASONABLE PEOPLE.

MR. AND MRS. SEAVER,
HOW NICE OF YOU

TO INSIST ON DROPPING BY.

YES, WELL, UH, HELLO,
MY NAME'S JASON.

AH, AH, AH.

HOW DO YOU DO?

NOW WHAT'S ALL
THIS CRUD ABOUT...

OH, WE WON'T TAKE UP MUCH
OF YOUR TIME, MRS. HINCKLEY.

WE JUST THOUGHT
WE SHOULD COME BY

AND CLEAR UP A LITTLE
MISUNDERSTANDING.

WELL, WON'T YOU SIT DOWN?

YES, YES, WE WILL.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

UM, WELL, THE THING IS THAT, UH, WE
HEARD THIS CRAZY RUMOR THAT YOU SAID

AND THIS IS PROBABLY ALL WRONG,

BUT THAT YOU SAID SOMETHING ABOUT
US BEING "UNACCEPTABLE" PARENTS.

[Jason chuckling]

OH, DEAR.

I'M AFRAID THAT WASN'T
MEANT FOR YOUR EARS.

SO, YOU DID SAY THAT?

OH, YES.

JUST WHERE IN THE HELL DO YOU
GET OFF RUINING OUR REPUTATION?

WE DON'T USE THAT
WORD IN OUR HOME.

DAMN IT! HOW CAN YOU...

OR THAT ONE.

WELL, I HAVE 2 MORE
WORDS YOU WON'T LIKE, JUNE.

YES?

NO, NO... NOW, I'M GETTING
CARRIED AWAY HERE.

IT'S OK, JASON,
GET CARRIED AWAY.

NO, NO. I WOULD LIKE TO
MAKE ONE MORE ATTEMPT

BUT... AT SOME REAL
COMMUNICATION HERE.

I...

SPORT?

WHEN ONE GOES
OUT FOR AN EVENING,

ONE DRESSES PROPERLY
FOR THE OCCASION.

OH, BUT, MOTHER...

YOU KNOW WHAT MOTHER LIKES.

NUTS!

EXCUSE ME?

YES, MOTHER.

CHILDREN.

HOLD ON TO YOUR SLIPCOVERS,
JUNE, BECAUSE I'M GONNA...

MAGGIE, MAGGIE,
MAGGIE, WHAT'S THE POINT?

WE'RE NOT ON THE
SAME PLANET HERE.

AND IF WE STAY ANY LONGER WE'RE
JUST GONNA MAKE OURSELVES CRAZY.

AND WE PROBABLY WILL END UP
HURLING OBSCENITIES AT THIS WOMAN

AND WHAT WOULD THAT ACCOMPLISH?

WELL, WHAT THE HECK?
LET'S GIVE IT A SHOT.

JUNE BUG, THESE
BURGERS ARE VERY CLOSE.

UH-OH.

(Jason) HI, BEN.

HI.

WHERE'S YOUR BROTHER?

AT THE DANCE.

WHERE'S YOUR SISTER?

IN HER ROOM.

WHERE'S THE COUCH?

I DON'T KNOW. IT WAS
HERE A MINUTE AGO.

OK, I'LL CLEAN IT UP.

NAH, NAH, DON'T CLEAN IT
UP! DON'T BE... DON'T WORRY!

COME HERE. PUT
THOSE FEET UP HERE.

LEAVE THOSE SHOES ON. BE A KID.

THIS IS THE WAY I LIKE BEN.

SLOPPY, LAZY, A REAL KID.

AND IF WE'RE SUCH BAD PARENTS,

HOW DID CAROL TURN OUT SO WELL?

THAT'S RIGHT. AND
MIKE! MIKE'S PERFECT.

OK, I LOST MY HEAD.

BUT THE POINT IS, NOBODY SAYS
WE DID A BAD JOB RAISING OUR KIDS.

AND NOBODY TELLS US
WE CAN'T CHAPERONE.

CAROL? HURRY UP! YOU'RE
LATE FOR THE DANCE.

(Carol) I'M NOT GOING.
I'M TOO HUMILIATED.

CAROL, IT'S ALL RIGHT.
WE'RE CHAPERONING.

OH, GREAT. MY
LIFE IS AN ACID BATH.

LET'S CHANGE.

I'LL CALL THE SITTER.

HEY, DAD, YOU'RE
GONNA LOVE THIS.

♪ [Things Can Only Get
Better by Howard Jones playing]

♪ WE'RE NOT SCARED
TO LOSE IT ALL ♪

I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED
IF THEY MADE IT A CRIME

JUST TO TALK TO MY PARENTS.

♪ A THOUSAND SCEPTIC HANDS ♪

♪ WON'T KEEP US FROM
THE THINGS WE PLAN ♪

♪ UNLESS WE'RE CLINGING
TO THE THINGS WE PRIZE ♪

[whistles]

WELL, I GUESS YOU
WORE THE RIGHT DRESS.

♪ AND DO YOU FEEL SCARED ♪

♪ I DO, BUT I WON'T
STOP AND FALTER ♪

UH-UH-UH.

OH, NUTS.

JUNE! JIMBO!

HEY, HEY, HEY.

HEY, HEY, HEY.

NICE DANCE.

THE FACT THAT YOU'RE HERE
DOESN'T MAKE YOU CHAPERONES.

AND THE FACT THAT YOU'RE
HERE DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE HERE.

(D.J.) OK, NOW LET'S GO WAY BACK

[laughing] AND DO A LITTLE
TRIBUTE TO OUR ANCESTORS.

HERE'S SOME GENUINE FOGY ROCK

AND THAT MEANS OUR
CHAPERONES MUST DANCE.

[students clapping]

♪ [Land of 1,000 Dances
by Wilson Pickett playing]

WELL, UH, AS YOU POINTED
OUT, YOU'RE THE CHAPERONES.

♪ LIKE BONY MARONIE ♪

♪ MASHED POTATO ♪

♪ DO THE ALLIGATOR ♪

♪ PUT YOUR HANDS ON YOUR HIPS ♪

♪ LET YOUR BACKBONE SLIP ♪

♪ DO THE WATUSI ♪

♪ LIKE MY LITTLE LUCY ♪

♪ OW! ♪

WELL, MAGGIE, WHAT DO YOU SAY?

I SAY...

♪ NAA, NA-NA-NA-NA ♪

♪ NA-NA-NA-NA ♪

♪ NEED SOMEBODY TO
HELP ME SAY IT ONE TIME ♪

♪ NAA, NA-NA-NA-NA ♪

♪ NA-NA-NA-NA,
NA-NA-NA, NA-NA-NA ♪

♪ NA-NA-NA-NA ♪

I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO COME
BACK TO THIS SCHOOL AGAIN.

NO, DON'T WORRY.

THE STIGMA FADES
AFTER A YEAR OR 2.

YOU KNOW, ACTUALLY, YOUR
PARENTS AREN'T TOO BAD. LOOK.

HEY, ARE THOSE YOUR
PARENTS DANCIN'?

UH, NO, NO. MY PARENTS
COULDN'T MAKE IT TONIGHT.

THEY MAY HAVE TO
LEAVE THE COUNTRY.

OH, NO, THAT'S THEM.

WHO?

THE ONES WITH ALL THE MOVES.

♪ NAA, NA-NA-NA-NA ♪

HEY, HEY, COME ON, WHO DO YOU
THINK SHOWED THEM ALL THOSE MOVES?

YOU KNOW, YOUR PARENTS
ARE REASONABLY COOL.

SURE, WHAT'D YOU EXPECT?

♪ NAA, NA-NA-NA-NA,
NA-NA-NA-NA, NA-NA-NA, NA-NA-NA ♪

(D.J.) LET'S HEAR IT FOR
COUPLE NUMBER ONE!

♪ LIKE LONG, TALL SALLY ♪

[inaudible]

AND COUPLE NUMBER 2!

[students cheering]

MOM, DAD, UM, THIS
IS SCOTTY SIEGLER.

HI. HI.

IS IT OK IF HE WALKS ME HOME?

SURE.

BUT, DAD!

OH.

OK. THANKS!

BYE.

OK. ALL RIGHT.

YOU GUYS GOT AWAY WITH IT ONCE.

I DON'T WANT THIS
TO GO TO YOUR HEADS.

THIS IS A HOT DRESS, MOM.

AND PLEASE, DON'T EVER WEAR
IT IN FRONT OF MY FRIENDS AGAIN.

MIKE, GO HOME.

[Maggie chuckling]

WELL, I HAD FUN.

SO DID I.

FOGY ROCK, INDEED.

WELL, LET'S GO, FOGY.

LET'S ROCK.

[chuckling] MMM.

[groans]

♪ [Land Of 1,000 Dances
by Wilson Pickett playing]

♪ DO THE WATUSI ♪