Greek (2007–2011): Season 4, Episode 1 - Defending Your Honor - full transcript
Casey investigates why she was rejected from CRU Law School.
Last season on GREEK...
I will now open up the floor
for presidential nominations.
I nominate Trip ***.
I would like to nominate
Calvin Owens.
- Me?
- We wanted to give them the beach house.
Which we will use as the greatest
revenge KT has ever known.
I'm shutting this party down.
It's your place.
I need to see your IDs.
Cap, come on, man. We could
lose our house, for real.
Well, that's not what we intended,
but it seems fitting.
- Hope he doesn't screw this up.
- Can't get much worse.
- All right, guys, we're good here.
- What the hell did you do?
- I handled it.
- You got my vote, Owens.
- Phase four is complete.
- May I congratulate
the future president of Omega Chi.
- I'm Faith Flowers.
- Faith Flowers is a trend forecaster.
Companies pay her to tell them
what the latest trends are.
I'm graduating from
CRU in about a month,
and I would love
to do what you do.
Or learn from you, or, um,
get you coffee. What do you say?
I got a job.
I'm going to New York!
I'm not the good guy.
I let my pride get in the way.
I don't wanna lose you.
I can accept you
just the way you are.
What about graduation in May?
We'll worry about that in May.
- I can't.
- You've got a boyfriend.
- Haven't you?
- I got into law school in Washington.
- That's great.
- Are you leaving me behind?
- No... - If you don't have more
faith in us than that,
then we should break up right now.
Cappie, please, Cappie...
Please!
Graduating from college
is certainly an accomplishment
you should savor.
Don't lose the significance
of this day as you begin
to turn your focus
toward that next horizon.
Even now...
My new boss is so cool.
Oh, my God, I have a real boss.
And she texts me, with x's and o's.
I can't believe we're graduating.
- It's like a dream.
- We're so grown-up!
Jinx! You owe me a Coke!
Sh!
Hey.
...high school, and now college.
Some of you will be
starting entry-level jobs,
which could blossom
into lifelong careers.
I can't find Casey. They all look
the same in those stupid hats.
There's Evan. And Grant.
And flirty straight
guy from last year!
I didn't know he was a senior.
- Uh, flirty straight guy?
- Oh... I meant ugly stupid guy.
There's Casey. I could spot those
blonde locks in the middle
of a Swedish flea market.
- Whoo!
- Guys, do you mind?
Love you, Casey! Love you!
I'm trying to watch
my boyfriend graduate.
You've learned a lot in your
time here at Cyprus-Rhodes,
one would hope. Just a reminder,
there are no refunds.
I thought it was funny.
But there's one more thing
I'd like to leave you with today.
A wise person once said
that the grand essentials
of happiness are
these three things:
Something to do,
something to love
and something to hope for.
Don't forget us here.
College may be over for you,
but your education
is just beginning.
Now, go on out there
and make us proud.
Thank you.
Congratulations, Case.
- Mom and Dad went back to the hotel.
- We graduated! Ooh!
Yeah!
And next week,
I will be living in Manhattan.
The Big Apple.
The city that never sleeps.
- The home of Carrie Bradshaw.
- I don't want you to leave.
Can't you just move out to DC now
and forget about your stupid
law school prep thing?
I mean, we could take trains
to visit each other. Trains!
- That's very cosmopolitan.
- But
GW doesn't offer the prep
school thing, and CRU does.
I am a serious law student now,
ergo, I have to do serious
law student-y things.
- Like say "Ergo."
- Hey,
Ashleigh, I got you a
going-away present.
Oh. It's a, uh, rape whistle.
Oh... No, it's for hailing taxis.
- Just a little something.
- Oh!
Yep.
Well, I love my new
not-rape taxi whistle.
Thank you.
OK. So I'm gonna go find the fam.
- And I will see you at the party later.
- OK.
- OK, bye!
- Bye.
- Bye.
- So...
Pretty soon you'll be the
lone Cartwright on campus.
- Is this you passing the proverbial torch?
- It is.
Don't drop it.
What?
Well, I hoped that
because I'm graduating,
Cappie would say good luck
or congratulations
or even just goodbye.
Maybe he will.
Oh, God! I didn't mean right now!
Do I have to stay and referee?
I don't want a repeat
of Cinco de Mayo.
- That was the tequila's fault.
- Uh-huh.
This could be it.
Our final farewell.
What's he going to say?
What do I say back?
And how am I supposed to
look cute in this
stupid graduation burqa?
Nice hat.
Nice hat?
- Good morning.
- Wow, you have a date?
- In the eighties?
- No, but I plan to get one.
I'm starting back
as ZBZ hasher today.
- So is Laura back on the menu?
- Laura who?
We are on the precipice
of our junior year,
and next to providing
an education,
the second biggest thing college
does is play matchmaker.
I got two years left to find the
future Mrs. Dale Kettlewell.
- In the ZBZ house?
- They're not all Jezebels.
- Is that gladiator porn?
- No, it's not porn.
I'm doing research to kick
off the KT-Omega Chi truce.
- We're having a four-pack.
- All I see are six-packs.
Already abusing your presidential
power for personal gain.
- It's porn if there's nipples.
- Yup.
The gladiators are wearing togas,
which, in ancient Rome, were
considered a symbol of peace.
It's thematic.
Cappie will be onboard.
Is he back yet?
I don't know. He took this road
trip in May and nobody's
heard from him all summer.
He didn't even say
goodbye to Casey.
- Is he going to?
- I'm gonna stay out of it.
But I'm sure Cappie
will do something.
You know him, he's probably
just gonna wait until
the last second.
He loves the drama, and romance.
And procrastinating.
Hey, I'm on another coffee run.
I only have two minutes to talk.
- Go! - I found your Yoga for Dummies
DVD behind the desk.
- Do you want me to mail it to you?
- No, I'm doing yoga
for normal people now.
How's packing?
Well, I'm slowly
checking things off
my last-things-to-do-
before-I-leave list.
Um, I found a pair of earrings
I borrowed from Frannie.
- Ew, gross.
- Which are going to Goodwill.
The law book I used
for my summer course,
which I'm going to sell.
And Cappie's
"Jamaica Me Horny" T-shirt,
- which I'm going to burn.
- Stop thinking about Cappie,
get in your car and get out here.
I am done thinking about Cappie.
I spent all summer
thinking about "Nice hat."
I just want to set
his shirt on fire.
- So how's the real world?
- Oh...
Well, I make no money.
I share a tiny apartment
with four roommates and
no air conditioning.
And everyone here's
always in such a hurry.
This city has major
time-management issues.
- Watch it!
- Sorry!
And anger-management issues.
And Faith keeps texting me
with those stupid x's and o's,
which are nothing but lies!
Oh. Well, I'm sure
it's not that bad.
Tell Rusty I'm totally using
my not-rape taxi whistle.
Talk to you later. Bye.
Miss you, and love you. Bye, Ash.
No!
And what exactly is your policy
on boys staying over?
It's against ZBZ
Nationals' policy.
Uh-huh. But what's your policy?
My policy is ZBZ
Nationals' policy.
Uh-huh.
Well, thank you for coming in.
Kelly will show you out.
- Thank you.
- Mm-hm.
That was the last candidate
from Nationals for house mom.
She does have over 20
years of experience.
So does Kirsten Dunst, but that
doesn't make her movies good.
I think we should hire
that drunk one, Joan.
As president, I say we
find other candidates,
preferably senile ones with a
hearing or sight impairment.
- But where can we find them?
- You know, I can help.
My church is full of those.
The last thing we need
is a preacher's wife
throwing verses at us about the
evils of dancing and evolution.
No, but most of them
aren't even that religious.
They just need something
to do on Sunday mornings.
I know one that'd be perfect for us.
Barely knows her own name.
She sounds perfect! Thanks, Dale.
- I like your tie.
- Why, thank you for noticing, Abigail.
Oh, I can't not watch this.
Yes, thank you both. As president,
I think we should meet her.
- Hey!
- Hey.
What are you doing here?
Classes don't start for a
couple of weeks, right?
Yeah, I had to go fill out this
proof of enrollment
thing for financial aid.
- What about you? - Oh, selling my book
from my summer course,
getting through my list of
last-things-to-do before I leave.
Mm. Yeah, you must be
excited to go to DC, huh?
You get to start over in a whole
new place, all new people.
Well, I'm not too thrilled
about starting over.
This has been my home
for the last four years.
Leaving's hard.
But I didn't have much of a choice.
I didn't get into CRU.
Yeah, which is weird, right?
I mean, your LSAT score
was higher than mine.
- So was my GPA.
- So why do you think you didn't you get in?
I don't know.
Maybe they didn't like
my personal statement?
- Who knows?
- If it were me, I'd want to know.
So after a couple days in Charlotte,
there was a week in Helena,
then a few nights in Savannah,
and a whole month
exploring Sydney.
Wow, Cap. You went to Australia?
No, no. Sydney lives in Florida.
Spitter, hey! I didn't see you
standing there! Come here.
- I missed you.
- Oh, man!
All right, all right!
I missed you the most,
my little... Oh, sorry....
equal of mine in the fraternity.
- Yeah. When'd you get back?
- Just a couple hours ago.
It was incredible.
I toured the whole country.
But you were kidding about
all the girls with the
city names, right?
Yeah, their names were Bridget,
Amy, Kelly and T-something.
Oh. What about Casey?
What do you mean,
what about Casey?
She said we had a
college relationship,
and then she graduated.
Then there was Cinco de Mayo.
That was the tequila's fault.
Two days. Casey's
gone in two days.
- So?
- So if you want to say goodbye, or whatever,
you still can.
She's the one leaving, you know.
She could say goodbye to me.
So that's it?
Look, out of respect for
a fellow KT brother,
if you want to give me
your class schedule,
I'll make sure to
tell the ins and outs
of my city stories
when you're gone.
- You know what they say, bros before...
- OK, Cap.
Looks like your personal
statement was fine.
So if that's all you
wanted to know...
Well, since I'm here,
I was just wondering
- if could you tell me why I wasn't accepted?
- No.
But I'm more than
happy to give you tips
on how to improve your
chances for next year.
Oh, I won't be applying again.
I got into GW and I'm leaving, um,
in 39 hours. I was just curious.
OK, fine.
Let's see...
Your LSAT scores were solid,
your grades were good. Oh.
- Oh? - You had a couple of really
good recommendation letters.
A couple? I had three letters.
And a couple of really good ones.
Uh, someone wrote me a bad one?
What'd they say?
- Who was it? Why?
- That's all I can tell you.
Best of luck in Washington,
Miss Cartwright.
Oh. Hey, Becks.
Um, maybe you can help
me with something.
I don't move furniture.
But I could get Evan to make
some of the Omega Chis do it.
No, it's just...
- What are you doing?
- Replacing these fugly curtains.
- I picked those out.
- Mm-hm.
Anyway, I just found out that
I was rejected from CRU Law
because of a bad
recommendation letter.
Not everyone loves
Casey Cartwright?
- Shocker.
- Apparently not.
I just spoke with two
of my professors,
and they both wrote
me glowing letters.
So the only one left is Joel.
- Do you think he'd do that to me?
- Why do you care?
- You got into GW.
- I don't care. I just...
- I mean, I do, but...
- I get it.
Because if he hadn't done that,
you would've stayed at CRU and
you'd still be with Cappie.
- No.
- Yes.
It's just unjust.
I worked my butt off for Joel,
and I did a damn good job.
The only weirdness
he and I ever had was
the night of the Mardi Gras party.
He came on to me,
and then it got all awkward
when I told him I had a boyfriend.
But he couldn't have written
me a bad recommendation
because of that, would he?
- Would he?
- Oh.
That wasn't rhetorical?
Casey, you're moving
to Washington.
Let it go, and go!
They're circling me like sharks.
Well, it's the new Greek waters.
They'll get used to it.
And now I'm president, and I say
you can come by and hang
out whenever you want.
Great idea, Cal. In fact,
why don't we just combine houses?
That'd be rad!
I just want us to
stop fighting, Trip.
Do you have any idea why
you don't like the KTs?
Yeah. They're KTs.
- I really don't like that guy.
- Not everyone's onboard yet,
but after the toga party,
that will change.
Even Cappie thinks the
party wiwill promote peace.
And promiscuity.
Speaking of which,
did you hear about
Cappie's road trip?
He sure did hit a
lot of cities, huh?
Yeah, I know. It's obvious
he's still mad at Casey.
He's kind of being
a jerk about it.
What do you expect him?
He hasn't changed.
That's the problem. I just
wish he'd grow up a little.
It's Cappie.
You said it yourself,
he's like Peter Pan.
He'll probably be KT
president for life.
Ladies, this is Miriam.
She's still spry at 73,
but has a slight hearing problem,
so please speak
loudly and enunciate.
Hello, Miriam!
- Welcome to ZBZ!
- Ooh! I'd love some tea.
- So far she sounds perfect.
- Shut your hole, Abby.
I always wanted to be in a sorority,
and now here's my chance.
Will there be a house father?
And will we share a room?
I think you probably just
want to know if there's
a man around the house
for all the physical labor, right?
I guess you could call it that.
Dale, as president, I will be
the one asking the questions.
- Yeah, of course.
- Don't you have work to do?
Right, yeah. You keep quiz Miriam
and I'll go hit the P&P.
That's pots and pans.
Hasher lingo.
Hi. Uh, there's been a mistake,
because this check is half
what it's supposed to be.
- It's the correct amount.
- OK, well, can you check?
- Please? It's Evan Chambers.
- Evan Chambers?
As in Chambers Hall? As in the
name on the building across campus
'cause your family donated
millions of dollars to the school?
- That Evan Chambers?
- That's me.
But that is my parents' money.
I don't...
You know, we have students
who actually need the aid.
OK, look, I haven't received any support,
financial or otherwise,
from my parents in almost a year,
and I have to put a deposit
on an apartment today.
So I am one of those
students that you mentioned
who needs the aid...
...no matter what the
building's named.
There's nothing I can do.
Wait, maybe there is. Um...
It's not the Four Seasons.
Law school dorms?
Actually facing this way.
That's my shape.
- I did it.
- Well...
- What's up, guys?
- Hey, Spitter, check it out.
I replaced the seat
of the KT throne
with a foam cushion specially
contoured to my butt.
- That is great.
- Right?
If you want to be president
of Kappa Tau forever.
What if someone else wants
to run for president?
- Of what?
- Of Kappa Tau.
- Like who?
- Like me.
You...
- Really?
- Yeah. We forgot to hold
elections at the end
of last year. Again.
And I'd like to run for president.
But Spitter,
you're Cappie's little bro.
- You take over when he dies.
- Yeah, it's in the by-laws.
Huh. Looks like we have
another ambitious Cartwright.
What's a little
friendly competition?
All right. I accept your
friendly competition.
Tonight, before the toga party,
we'll determine the
next KT president
with a duel to the death!
- Wait. A what?
- I'm just kidding.
Speeches. Try and keep
it under two minutes.
Casey Cartwright.
What can I do for you?
Well, I don't know if
you heard the news.
It's not like it was
on CNN or anything.
Um, but I was
accepted into GW law.
- I'm leaving tomorrow.
- Congrats, Casey.
- They're lucky to have you.
- But I was rejected from CRU.
And I'm just curious, um,
the letter of recommendation you wrote,
did you recommend me?
Because I thought that
was kind of the point.
Look, you got into GW. Be happy.
I just need to know. Why would
you write me a bad letter?
Was it because of my work?
Did I do something wrong?
Is it because I didn't
tell you I had a boyfriend?
Honestly? Your performance
here was good.
But at the end of the day,
I thought you lacked integrity.
Lacked integrity?
You intentionally misled me
by withholding information,
which makes me question your
character and what kind
of lawyer you'd make.
But obviously, you didn't
need my help getting into
law school elsewhere.
You're a smart, pretty girl.
Good luck in Washington.
And then he was like,
"Good luck in Washington,
you're a pretty girl."
And yes, it's great that
he thinks I'm pretty,
but I couldn't believe that!
Joel is so not cute anymore!
All I see is ugly.
Joel. J-O-E-L.
Thank you so much.
Um, Ashleigh has my number.
This is her friend Casey.
Actually, could you...? Hello?
- Hello?
- Hey, Case.
Do you happen to have all your old
campaign stuff from when you
were running for ZBZ president?
It's all packed up. Why?
Because I'm running against
Cappie for KT president.
- Really?
- You sound like Cappie.
And Dale. And Calvin.
And Mom. Look, I think I can win.
It's just that I don't have
the time to make the
buttons and the T-shirts.
Well, I don't think that the KTs
will respond to pink buttons
and BeDazzled baby-tees.
- Know your audience.
- This audience looks a little distracted.
I really need to talk to Ash.
This long-distance
relationship is killing me.
You and I don't normally
talk about this kinda stuff.
Oh, is it like, uh,
feminine stuff?
Why do guys always go there? No.
It's got nothing to do with...
Pretend I'm her. Talk to me
like you'd talk to Ashleigh.
Uh... That's just weird.
OK, fine.
Remember Joel?
Well, I didn't get into CRU
Law because he wrote me
a bad letter of recommendation
because he hit on me
over Scotch and cookies
because I didn't tell
him I had a boyfriend
because I was working
for him and I shouldn't
have to tell him because
it's a professional situation
that he made awkward
by asking me out.
Phew! That was really fast.
And because of all of that,
Joel wrote in the letter
that I lack integrity.
I don't know, maybe I do.
Maybe I was stringing him along.
Why do I even care?
Um, hey.
Because you don't lack integrity.
You have to do something.
Because he can't get away
with saying any of that.
Are you running
against Cappie for me
or because you really
want to be KT president?
- What if I said both?
- Then I'd say good luck.
And thanks.
Well, I guess I am
going to law school
to fight for justice.
I might as well start with Joel.
Hey, Cal. Uh...
- It's a good look for you.
- Thanks.
So listen, man, my living
situation is officially screwed,
but, um, not to worry. I
should be out of my room
the next couple of days.
What happened to financial aid?
Um, well, they didn't aid me
as much as I'd expected.
Hey, look, if you
need to stay here...
No, no, no, I'll be fine.
You know what I could do?
I could always beg
my parents for help.
But I don't know.
Easy way out. I'm better than that.
You helped me see that.
Uh... Yeah, you know,
it's no big deal.
Hey, the way you handled
things over spring break...
I'm glad the house
is in your hands.
Yeah, you know, about that, um...
Well, that was
pretty crazy, right?
Wild, man!
Yeah. All right, man.
I'll see you later.
Hey, Becks.
How'd it go with Miriam?
She's pretty senile, huh?
- Is she our new house mom?
- She's not our anything.
And, as president, I've decided
we won't be needing a house mom.
But Nationals told
us we needed one.
- No, Nationals told us we needed one.
- That's what I just said.
As president,
you should listen better.
Dale, you're getting a little
too involved with the house.
Is... It is because of these?
Come on, yeah,
it's above and beyond,
but Abby and some of the gals
said they needed help. So I'm
not one to let a sister down.
That's not what I meant.
What I meant was...
Shut up! You're the best, Dale!
Ladies, as promised,
old sheets for your togas
from the motel across the freeway.
Abby, I thoroughly
bleached that one for you.
You set a meeting with the
admissions office? What the hell?
I want you to explain
to the admissions board
exactly what you meant when
you said I lack integrity.
Casey, their decision
has been made.
I'm sorry if you feel
you were misrepresented,
but I was asked to give
my professional opinion...
And you gave your personal one.
You made it sound like
I lied on my resume
or dipped into the campaign funds,
when in reality, I was working
for you, you made a move,
I told you I had a boyfriend
and suddenly I'm gonna
be a bad lawyer.
You want me to tell them that?
It'll make me sound
like a total...
Exactly. I'm sorry
if I misled you.
It wasn't my intent.
But I don't think you
understand what you did.
You changed my entire
life with one sentence.
And if you're going to
challenge my integrity,
I'd appreciate it if you
showed some yourself.
So either explain to them what you meant,
or rescind the letter.
Maybe my letter was slightly
colored by personal feelings.
I'm sorry.
But rescinding it now
won't make a difference.
- It will to me.
- Miss Cartwright.
I'm sorry, did we have
another appointment?
No, I was just checking something
off of my list before I leave.
- There was no meeting.
- Mm.
Remember when you told me
some people should be
in your life forever
and others just
make an appearance?
Thanks for that.
OK, guys, I know you want
to get ready for the party,
but we gotta do this.
So according to the by-laws,
we've been holding
elections all wrong.
Yeah. We have to vote.
Yeah, but after the speeches.
- That'll do.
- Any questions?
Yeah, is this gonna make
us late to the toga party?
Cappie?
Friends, KTs, brother-men!
Lend me your beers.
Thank you.
I come to bury Spitter,
not to praise him.
I have led the house of
KT with great success.
I think my record as KT
president speaks for itself.
And I ask you,
who has more fun than the KTs?
Anyone?
And I ask you to ask yourself,
is it even possible
to have more fun?
I think not. Therefore,
the only alternative is to have less fun.
And we all know that less fun
is not as fun as the fun
we're already having.
So let's wrap up
this election, and...
To-ga! To-ga! - To-ga! To-ga!
Ah! Theatrics, Spitter.
It's what the people want.
Spitter.
Uh, if elected...
...I promise I will
get you all laid!
Spitt-er! Spitt-er!
Spitt-er! Spitt-er!
To-ga! To-ga! To-ga!
Wait, you guys!
We have to vote now.
We'll vote after the party.
It'll give us more time
to digest these two
powerful speeches.
Looks like I know what
the ople want, too.
Oh! You should have seen it, Ash!
I totally put him in his place,
and then just left
him standing there.
It was incredible. I wonder
if this is what Erin
Brockovich felt like.
And now you can leave.
- Yay!
- Why are you panting?
Who the hell would build a
building without an elevator?
It makes no sense.
But with all these stairs, you
have to see my new New York ass.
I will be out there soon, I just
have a few more boxes and...
- Cappie.
- No!
Forget about Cappie and drive.
No, it is Cappie.
He's walking right toward me.
Remember, Spitter's not gonna buy
you fancy microbrews.
He can't even buy you brew.
Run to your car! Run!
I've got one more thing
on my to-do list, Ash.
Well, then put it on speaker!
Put it on speaker!
- Nice toga.
- Well played.
- I thought you were...
- Leaving? Yes, I am.
- Case, listen...
- No, no, you've had your chance.
Now, I have something
I need to say.
This was the worst
summer of my life.
- Our breakup crushed me.
- You think it was easy for me?
And now I'm leaving tomorrow,
and you can't even say goodbye.
- I don't know if now...
- Uh-uh!
Why couldn't you say
something? Anything?
You had all summer to say it,
but you didn't.
You know, so I guess this
is me saying it to you.
Goodbye, Cap.
Yeah! Bye, Cap! You suck!
This is Ashleigh, by the way.
Now, I can move on to Washington.
- Did he know it was me?
- Hold on, I have another call.
- Oh, my gosh, it's a university number.
- Put it on three-way!
Please? I have no television.
You're like a real reality show.
Yeah, I don't think
that's a good idea.
- Please? Please?
- OK.
Hello?
Who wants a refill, huh?
Brought to you by
Cappie the Carefree.
We're good, actually. Spitter
just brought us these, so...
Wonderful. More for me.
Mm. Hey, Beav! Buddy.
Just remember when you're voting
who saved you a trip to the bar.
Ah. Thank you, Cap, but we're
gonna hit the dance floor.
Go on ahead,
I'll meet you out there.
Spitter, Spitter! Thank you.
Your campaign promise
already paid off.
I just hooked up with that
Tri Pi in the bathroom!
- Glad I could be of service.
- What? Beav!
Spitter had nothing to do with that!
She's a Tri Pi.
Cap, he promised,
then it happened.
I wouldn't call
that a coincidence.
That's exactly what it's called!
Spitter, you got my vote.
Et tu, Beaver?
Hey, I never specified
when they get laid,
so technically, the next
time any of them have sex,
I'll be living up to
my campaign promise.
Oh, yeah? Well, maybe I'll just
go celibate to prove you a liar.
Yeah.
Another campaign promise fulfilled.
You're welcome, Heath.
Calvin was already my boyfriend!
- What's he talking about?
- Spitter lacks experience.
Stick with what works.
Your loyalty to me
as your Pledge Educator
- will not be forgotten.
- I
was your leader's leader.
Your loyalty's to me.
Cappie's reign must end.
Change is on the horizon.
Beware the fries, they're starch.
- Hm...
- I don't know.
I'm done.
Hey, hey. I'm calling
off this election.
- What? You can't do that.
- Yeah, I can.
Technically,
I'm still the president.
I have a chair in the
shape of my butt,
- so I can do whatever I want.
- You're being such a dictator
because you're
scared of the future.
You can't be KT president forever.
Time doesn't stand
still for anyone.
- You're not Peter Pan.
- Yeah,
all children grow up.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
I get it. Why do you care?
Because it's killing me to imagine
not having my sister around.
How is it not killing you?
I love this song!
Everybody, come dance!
Hey, let's dance.
Oh, my God! I'm obsessed
with foot massages lately!
Oh, my God, and they're so cheap!
Oh, my God! I have really
strong hands. So just...
...let me know. Whenever.
Dale?
What are you doing here?
Uh... what...?
Making good progress,
until you came along.
This party is exclusively for Omega Chis,
KTs, Tri Pis and ZBZs.
Oh, no. It's all good.
I rolled with Abby and Betsy.
And check it out.
I'm wearing our letters.
You are not a ZBZ!
You're definitely
not our rent boy.
They're never gonna
see you like that.
You're basically one of the girls,
- except we're pretty and thin.
- You did not just call me fat.
- Oh, yes, I did.
- You know what? I can diet,
- but you'll always be ugly on the inside.
- Take off that shirt!
- Not for you, missy!
- Take off that shirt!
- Take it off!
- Hey! What's going on?
You think you're one of us,
but you're not!
- You're not even in the Greek system!
- Not officially,
but I live with the Greek system,
and I work in it, too!
I am the eyes and ears of this
whole institution, my friend!
How else would I know the KTs
helped elect Calvin president
to make this whole truce happen?
Did you know that?
- I don't think so!
- KTs helped elect Calvin?
What?
Hello.
They're still voting at the house.
Beaver keeps losing count?
Yeah. It's worse
than Florida in 2000.
Look, I'm sorry for being
such a dick-tator lately.
I haven't been that
respectful about your sister.
Yeah, I wanted to
punch you in the face
for not seeing that,
but I couldn't.
Yeah, I know. You got weak wrists.
I mean morally. And that's why
I was running against you,
to hurt you in another way.
I would've rather you punched me.
We'll always be friends,
no matter who wins.
Look, I think you should know why
I didn't say anything to Case.
It's pretty simple. I mean...
All I could say was goodbye.
And that would have
been it for us.
Over, forever.
So your answer was to do nothing?
Look, I didn't want
things to end or change.
She was right during spring break.
Change scares me.
I'm scared I'm gonna lose her.
Cappie, you are
losing her forever.
Look, I'm sorry.
I should've told you about the
truce arrangement with the KTs.
- I really... I screwed up.
- Hey, man.
I'm gonna be moving out of the house.
I'm an alum now.
So good luck with all that.
Casey?
Cap?
- Look...
- Oh!
I just wanted to say I'm sorry.
For everything. For "Nice hat,"
For... especially
for Cinco de Mayo...
- Cap...
- No, no, listen. This is my turn, OK?
You called me out on
spring break and you were right.
I was scared.
And I know that there's a lot of
things that we have to work on,
and I know it's gonna be
really hard with you
living in Washington...
I... I got into CRU.
I've already decided to stay.
That's great!
Wait, so we can try again.
But not because of you.
I never wanted to leave here.
I just wanted to go to law school.
Is it a little about me?
Nothing's changed.
I...
I can't just try again
with you after everything
because you haven't done
anything to earn that.
If we got back together,
I'd be the one
questioning my integrity.
We have three more years now.
I can change. I will change.
And I believe that you can.
But until you do, that's all talk.
So then... do we have any shot?
- Maybe.
- Maybe?
Maybe.
Well, at least you're staying.
Something to hope for.
Uh, the door's open, Cap.
I appreciate you leaving
it open for me, Case.
I can change. I'll show you.
I'm gonna turn that
"Maybe" Into a "Yes."
I meant the door... over there.
Right.
Perhaps I went a little too far.
You're right, I'm not a ZBZ.
I wouldn't mind being with one.
But maybe I am just an outsider.
- You'll clean this up for me, right?
- Why don't you like me?
Because you're weird.
And as president
of the number one
sorority on this campus,
this entire house is now
resting on my shoulders. Alone.
So I need to make sure we
look good and you don't help.
Why does the Greek system focus
so much on image and status
- and stupid skinny ties.
- The Greek system?
Please, try planet Earth.
And I didn't make the rules,
I just benefit from them.
And tend to ignore
those who don't.
You're not a nice person.
But you think if you
put on a skinny tie,
girls of this world
will just swoon?
That might work on some girls,
but not a ZBZ.
So you're saying I need better
bait to catch better fish?
I don't really do blue-collar metaphors,
but, sure, whatevs.
Hey, Case. So sorry to see you go!
What time's the big send-off?
- And when will my room be ready?
- Oh.
I've actually decided to stay.
What? Not here, you're not!
Thank you, Jesus.
I know, Ash. I won't be
able to visit you by train
from CRU, but we'll
still talk every day.
OK, fine. Every half hour.
- Are you sure that's the right decision?
- I have no idea.
Hey, Ash, I gotta go.
I'll call you later, OK?
- Say hi to her for me.
- Wait, wait. Rusty says hi.
Oh! Hey, watch it!
Oh! Oh, OK. Yeah.
Ash says thanks for her whistle.
Yeah.
I guess I'm not the lone
Cartwright on campus.
I hope I'm not
cramping your style.
Just don't embarrass me by
showing up at the same parties.
- Embarrass you how?
- You know, 'cause you graduated.
- It'd be kind of pathetic.
- OK.
Oh, what happened with the
election? Did you win?
Cappie assured me this is
gonna be his last year.
As president, or...?
He didn't specify.
Well, something to hope for.
I will now open up the floor
for presidential nominations.
I nominate Trip ***.
I would like to nominate
Calvin Owens.
- Me?
- We wanted to give them the beach house.
Which we will use as the greatest
revenge KT has ever known.
I'm shutting this party down.
It's your place.
I need to see your IDs.
Cap, come on, man. We could
lose our house, for real.
Well, that's not what we intended,
but it seems fitting.
- Hope he doesn't screw this up.
- Can't get much worse.
- All right, guys, we're good here.
- What the hell did you do?
- I handled it.
- You got my vote, Owens.
- Phase four is complete.
- May I congratulate
the future president of Omega Chi.
- I'm Faith Flowers.
- Faith Flowers is a trend forecaster.
Companies pay her to tell them
what the latest trends are.
I'm graduating from
CRU in about a month,
and I would love
to do what you do.
Or learn from you, or, um,
get you coffee. What do you say?
I got a job.
I'm going to New York!
I'm not the good guy.
I let my pride get in the way.
I don't wanna lose you.
I can accept you
just the way you are.
What about graduation in May?
We'll worry about that in May.
- I can't.
- You've got a boyfriend.
- Haven't you?
- I got into law school in Washington.
- That's great.
- Are you leaving me behind?
- No... - If you don't have more
faith in us than that,
then we should break up right now.
Cappie, please, Cappie...
Please!
Graduating from college
is certainly an accomplishment
you should savor.
Don't lose the significance
of this day as you begin
to turn your focus
toward that next horizon.
Even now...
My new boss is so cool.
Oh, my God, I have a real boss.
And she texts me, with x's and o's.
I can't believe we're graduating.
- It's like a dream.
- We're so grown-up!
Jinx! You owe me a Coke!
Sh!
Hey.
...high school, and now college.
Some of you will be
starting entry-level jobs,
which could blossom
into lifelong careers.
I can't find Casey. They all look
the same in those stupid hats.
There's Evan. And Grant.
And flirty straight
guy from last year!
I didn't know he was a senior.
- Uh, flirty straight guy?
- Oh... I meant ugly stupid guy.
There's Casey. I could spot those
blonde locks in the middle
of a Swedish flea market.
- Whoo!
- Guys, do you mind?
Love you, Casey! Love you!
I'm trying to watch
my boyfriend graduate.
You've learned a lot in your
time here at Cyprus-Rhodes,
one would hope. Just a reminder,
there are no refunds.
I thought it was funny.
But there's one more thing
I'd like to leave you with today.
A wise person once said
that the grand essentials
of happiness are
these three things:
Something to do,
something to love
and something to hope for.
Don't forget us here.
College may be over for you,
but your education
is just beginning.
Now, go on out there
and make us proud.
Thank you.
Congratulations, Case.
- Mom and Dad went back to the hotel.
- We graduated! Ooh!
Yeah!
And next week,
I will be living in Manhattan.
The Big Apple.
The city that never sleeps.
- The home of Carrie Bradshaw.
- I don't want you to leave.
Can't you just move out to DC now
and forget about your stupid
law school prep thing?
I mean, we could take trains
to visit each other. Trains!
- That's very cosmopolitan.
- But
GW doesn't offer the prep
school thing, and CRU does.
I am a serious law student now,
ergo, I have to do serious
law student-y things.
- Like say "Ergo."
- Hey,
Ashleigh, I got you a
going-away present.
Oh. It's a, uh, rape whistle.
Oh... No, it's for hailing taxis.
- Just a little something.
- Oh!
Yep.
Well, I love my new
not-rape taxi whistle.
Thank you.
OK. So I'm gonna go find the fam.
- And I will see you at the party later.
- OK.
- OK, bye!
- Bye.
- Bye.
- So...
Pretty soon you'll be the
lone Cartwright on campus.
- Is this you passing the proverbial torch?
- It is.
Don't drop it.
What?
Well, I hoped that
because I'm graduating,
Cappie would say good luck
or congratulations
or even just goodbye.
Maybe he will.
Oh, God! I didn't mean right now!
Do I have to stay and referee?
I don't want a repeat
of Cinco de Mayo.
- That was the tequila's fault.
- Uh-huh.
This could be it.
Our final farewell.
What's he going to say?
What do I say back?
And how am I supposed to
look cute in this
stupid graduation burqa?
Nice hat.
Nice hat?
- Good morning.
- Wow, you have a date?
- In the eighties?
- No, but I plan to get one.
I'm starting back
as ZBZ hasher today.
- So is Laura back on the menu?
- Laura who?
We are on the precipice
of our junior year,
and next to providing
an education,
the second biggest thing college
does is play matchmaker.
I got two years left to find the
future Mrs. Dale Kettlewell.
- In the ZBZ house?
- They're not all Jezebels.
- Is that gladiator porn?
- No, it's not porn.
I'm doing research to kick
off the KT-Omega Chi truce.
- We're having a four-pack.
- All I see are six-packs.
Already abusing your presidential
power for personal gain.
- It's porn if there's nipples.
- Yup.
The gladiators are wearing togas,
which, in ancient Rome, were
considered a symbol of peace.
It's thematic.
Cappie will be onboard.
Is he back yet?
I don't know. He took this road
trip in May and nobody's
heard from him all summer.
He didn't even say
goodbye to Casey.
- Is he going to?
- I'm gonna stay out of it.
But I'm sure Cappie
will do something.
You know him, he's probably
just gonna wait until
the last second.
He loves the drama, and romance.
And procrastinating.
Hey, I'm on another coffee run.
I only have two minutes to talk.
- Go! - I found your Yoga for Dummies
DVD behind the desk.
- Do you want me to mail it to you?
- No, I'm doing yoga
for normal people now.
How's packing?
Well, I'm slowly
checking things off
my last-things-to-do-
before-I-leave list.
Um, I found a pair of earrings
I borrowed from Frannie.
- Ew, gross.
- Which are going to Goodwill.
The law book I used
for my summer course,
which I'm going to sell.
And Cappie's
"Jamaica Me Horny" T-shirt,
- which I'm going to burn.
- Stop thinking about Cappie,
get in your car and get out here.
I am done thinking about Cappie.
I spent all summer
thinking about "Nice hat."
I just want to set
his shirt on fire.
- So how's the real world?
- Oh...
Well, I make no money.
I share a tiny apartment
with four roommates and
no air conditioning.
And everyone here's
always in such a hurry.
This city has major
time-management issues.
- Watch it!
- Sorry!
And anger-management issues.
And Faith keeps texting me
with those stupid x's and o's,
which are nothing but lies!
Oh. Well, I'm sure
it's not that bad.
Tell Rusty I'm totally using
my not-rape taxi whistle.
Talk to you later. Bye.
Miss you, and love you. Bye, Ash.
No!
And what exactly is your policy
on boys staying over?
It's against ZBZ
Nationals' policy.
Uh-huh. But what's your policy?
My policy is ZBZ
Nationals' policy.
Uh-huh.
Well, thank you for coming in.
Kelly will show you out.
- Thank you.
- Mm-hm.
That was the last candidate
from Nationals for house mom.
She does have over 20
years of experience.
So does Kirsten Dunst, but that
doesn't make her movies good.
I think we should hire
that drunk one, Joan.
As president, I say we
find other candidates,
preferably senile ones with a
hearing or sight impairment.
- But where can we find them?
- You know, I can help.
My church is full of those.
The last thing we need
is a preacher's wife
throwing verses at us about the
evils of dancing and evolution.
No, but most of them
aren't even that religious.
They just need something
to do on Sunday mornings.
I know one that'd be perfect for us.
Barely knows her own name.
She sounds perfect! Thanks, Dale.
- I like your tie.
- Why, thank you for noticing, Abigail.
Oh, I can't not watch this.
Yes, thank you both. As president,
I think we should meet her.
- Hey!
- Hey.
What are you doing here?
Classes don't start for a
couple of weeks, right?
Yeah, I had to go fill out this
proof of enrollment
thing for financial aid.
- What about you? - Oh, selling my book
from my summer course,
getting through my list of
last-things-to-do before I leave.
Mm. Yeah, you must be
excited to go to DC, huh?
You get to start over in a whole
new place, all new people.
Well, I'm not too thrilled
about starting over.
This has been my home
for the last four years.
Leaving's hard.
But I didn't have much of a choice.
I didn't get into CRU.
Yeah, which is weird, right?
I mean, your LSAT score
was higher than mine.
- So was my GPA.
- So why do you think you didn't you get in?
I don't know.
Maybe they didn't like
my personal statement?
- Who knows?
- If it were me, I'd want to know.
So after a couple days in Charlotte,
there was a week in Helena,
then a few nights in Savannah,
and a whole month
exploring Sydney.
Wow, Cap. You went to Australia?
No, no. Sydney lives in Florida.
Spitter, hey! I didn't see you
standing there! Come here.
- I missed you.
- Oh, man!
All right, all right!
I missed you the most,
my little... Oh, sorry....
equal of mine in the fraternity.
- Yeah. When'd you get back?
- Just a couple hours ago.
It was incredible.
I toured the whole country.
But you were kidding about
all the girls with the
city names, right?
Yeah, their names were Bridget,
Amy, Kelly and T-something.
Oh. What about Casey?
What do you mean,
what about Casey?
She said we had a
college relationship,
and then she graduated.
Then there was Cinco de Mayo.
That was the tequila's fault.
Two days. Casey's
gone in two days.
- So?
- So if you want to say goodbye, or whatever,
you still can.
She's the one leaving, you know.
She could say goodbye to me.
So that's it?
Look, out of respect for
a fellow KT brother,
if you want to give me
your class schedule,
I'll make sure to
tell the ins and outs
of my city stories
when you're gone.
- You know what they say, bros before...
- OK, Cap.
Looks like your personal
statement was fine.
So if that's all you
wanted to know...
Well, since I'm here,
I was just wondering
- if could you tell me why I wasn't accepted?
- No.
But I'm more than
happy to give you tips
on how to improve your
chances for next year.
Oh, I won't be applying again.
I got into GW and I'm leaving, um,
in 39 hours. I was just curious.
OK, fine.
Let's see...
Your LSAT scores were solid,
your grades were good. Oh.
- Oh? - You had a couple of really
good recommendation letters.
A couple? I had three letters.
And a couple of really good ones.
Uh, someone wrote me a bad one?
What'd they say?
- Who was it? Why?
- That's all I can tell you.
Best of luck in Washington,
Miss Cartwright.
Oh. Hey, Becks.
Um, maybe you can help
me with something.
I don't move furniture.
But I could get Evan to make
some of the Omega Chis do it.
No, it's just...
- What are you doing?
- Replacing these fugly curtains.
- I picked those out.
- Mm-hm.
Anyway, I just found out that
I was rejected from CRU Law
because of a bad
recommendation letter.
Not everyone loves
Casey Cartwright?
- Shocker.
- Apparently not.
I just spoke with two
of my professors,
and they both wrote
me glowing letters.
So the only one left is Joel.
- Do you think he'd do that to me?
- Why do you care?
- You got into GW.
- I don't care. I just...
- I mean, I do, but...
- I get it.
Because if he hadn't done that,
you would've stayed at CRU and
you'd still be with Cappie.
- No.
- Yes.
It's just unjust.
I worked my butt off for Joel,
and I did a damn good job.
The only weirdness
he and I ever had was
the night of the Mardi Gras party.
He came on to me,
and then it got all awkward
when I told him I had a boyfriend.
But he couldn't have written
me a bad recommendation
because of that, would he?
- Would he?
- Oh.
That wasn't rhetorical?
Casey, you're moving
to Washington.
Let it go, and go!
They're circling me like sharks.
Well, it's the new Greek waters.
They'll get used to it.
And now I'm president, and I say
you can come by and hang
out whenever you want.
Great idea, Cal. In fact,
why don't we just combine houses?
That'd be rad!
I just want us to
stop fighting, Trip.
Do you have any idea why
you don't like the KTs?
Yeah. They're KTs.
- I really don't like that guy.
- Not everyone's onboard yet,
but after the toga party,
that will change.
Even Cappie thinks the
party wiwill promote peace.
And promiscuity.
Speaking of which,
did you hear about
Cappie's road trip?
He sure did hit a
lot of cities, huh?
Yeah, I know. It's obvious
he's still mad at Casey.
He's kind of being
a jerk about it.
What do you expect him?
He hasn't changed.
That's the problem. I just
wish he'd grow up a little.
It's Cappie.
You said it yourself,
he's like Peter Pan.
He'll probably be KT
president for life.
Ladies, this is Miriam.
She's still spry at 73,
but has a slight hearing problem,
so please speak
loudly and enunciate.
Hello, Miriam!
- Welcome to ZBZ!
- Ooh! I'd love some tea.
- So far she sounds perfect.
- Shut your hole, Abby.
I always wanted to be in a sorority,
and now here's my chance.
Will there be a house father?
And will we share a room?
I think you probably just
want to know if there's
a man around the house
for all the physical labor, right?
I guess you could call it that.
Dale, as president, I will be
the one asking the questions.
- Yeah, of course.
- Don't you have work to do?
Right, yeah. You keep quiz Miriam
and I'll go hit the P&P.
That's pots and pans.
Hasher lingo.
Hi. Uh, there's been a mistake,
because this check is half
what it's supposed to be.
- It's the correct amount.
- OK, well, can you check?
- Please? It's Evan Chambers.
- Evan Chambers?
As in Chambers Hall? As in the
name on the building across campus
'cause your family donated
millions of dollars to the school?
- That Evan Chambers?
- That's me.
But that is my parents' money.
I don't...
You know, we have students
who actually need the aid.
OK, look, I haven't received any support,
financial or otherwise,
from my parents in almost a year,
and I have to put a deposit
on an apartment today.
So I am one of those
students that you mentioned
who needs the aid...
...no matter what the
building's named.
There's nothing I can do.
Wait, maybe there is. Um...
It's not the Four Seasons.
Law school dorms?
Actually facing this way.
That's my shape.
- I did it.
- Well...
- What's up, guys?
- Hey, Spitter, check it out.
I replaced the seat
of the KT throne
with a foam cushion specially
contoured to my butt.
- That is great.
- Right?
If you want to be president
of Kappa Tau forever.
What if someone else wants
to run for president?
- Of what?
- Of Kappa Tau.
- Like who?
- Like me.
You...
- Really?
- Yeah. We forgot to hold
elections at the end
of last year. Again.
And I'd like to run for president.
But Spitter,
you're Cappie's little bro.
- You take over when he dies.
- Yeah, it's in the by-laws.
Huh. Looks like we have
another ambitious Cartwright.
What's a little
friendly competition?
All right. I accept your
friendly competition.
Tonight, before the toga party,
we'll determine the
next KT president
with a duel to the death!
- Wait. A what?
- I'm just kidding.
Speeches. Try and keep
it under two minutes.
Casey Cartwright.
What can I do for you?
Well, I don't know if
you heard the news.
It's not like it was
on CNN or anything.
Um, but I was
accepted into GW law.
- I'm leaving tomorrow.
- Congrats, Casey.
- They're lucky to have you.
- But I was rejected from CRU.
And I'm just curious, um,
the letter of recommendation you wrote,
did you recommend me?
Because I thought that
was kind of the point.
Look, you got into GW. Be happy.
I just need to know. Why would
you write me a bad letter?
Was it because of my work?
Did I do something wrong?
Is it because I didn't
tell you I had a boyfriend?
Honestly? Your performance
here was good.
But at the end of the day,
I thought you lacked integrity.
Lacked integrity?
You intentionally misled me
by withholding information,
which makes me question your
character and what kind
of lawyer you'd make.
But obviously, you didn't
need my help getting into
law school elsewhere.
You're a smart, pretty girl.
Good luck in Washington.
And then he was like,
"Good luck in Washington,
you're a pretty girl."
And yes, it's great that
he thinks I'm pretty,
but I couldn't believe that!
Joel is so not cute anymore!
All I see is ugly.
Joel. J-O-E-L.
Thank you so much.
Um, Ashleigh has my number.
This is her friend Casey.
Actually, could you...? Hello?
- Hello?
- Hey, Case.
Do you happen to have all your old
campaign stuff from when you
were running for ZBZ president?
It's all packed up. Why?
Because I'm running against
Cappie for KT president.
- Really?
- You sound like Cappie.
And Dale. And Calvin.
And Mom. Look, I think I can win.
It's just that I don't have
the time to make the
buttons and the T-shirts.
Well, I don't think that the KTs
will respond to pink buttons
and BeDazzled baby-tees.
- Know your audience.
- This audience looks a little distracted.
I really need to talk to Ash.
This long-distance
relationship is killing me.
You and I don't normally
talk about this kinda stuff.
Oh, is it like, uh,
feminine stuff?
Why do guys always go there? No.
It's got nothing to do with...
Pretend I'm her. Talk to me
like you'd talk to Ashleigh.
Uh... That's just weird.
OK, fine.
Remember Joel?
Well, I didn't get into CRU
Law because he wrote me
a bad letter of recommendation
because he hit on me
over Scotch and cookies
because I didn't tell
him I had a boyfriend
because I was working
for him and I shouldn't
have to tell him because
it's a professional situation
that he made awkward
by asking me out.
Phew! That was really fast.
And because of all of that,
Joel wrote in the letter
that I lack integrity.
I don't know, maybe I do.
Maybe I was stringing him along.
Why do I even care?
Um, hey.
Because you don't lack integrity.
You have to do something.
Because he can't get away
with saying any of that.
Are you running
against Cappie for me
or because you really
want to be KT president?
- What if I said both?
- Then I'd say good luck.
And thanks.
Well, I guess I am
going to law school
to fight for justice.
I might as well start with Joel.
Hey, Cal. Uh...
- It's a good look for you.
- Thanks.
So listen, man, my living
situation is officially screwed,
but, um, not to worry. I
should be out of my room
the next couple of days.
What happened to financial aid?
Um, well, they didn't aid me
as much as I'd expected.
Hey, look, if you
need to stay here...
No, no, no, I'll be fine.
You know what I could do?
I could always beg
my parents for help.
But I don't know.
Easy way out. I'm better than that.
You helped me see that.
Uh... Yeah, you know,
it's no big deal.
Hey, the way you handled
things over spring break...
I'm glad the house
is in your hands.
Yeah, you know, about that, um...
Well, that was
pretty crazy, right?
Wild, man!
Yeah. All right, man.
I'll see you later.
Hey, Becks.
How'd it go with Miriam?
She's pretty senile, huh?
- Is she our new house mom?
- She's not our anything.
And, as president, I've decided
we won't be needing a house mom.
But Nationals told
us we needed one.
- No, Nationals told us we needed one.
- That's what I just said.
As president,
you should listen better.
Dale, you're getting a little
too involved with the house.
Is... It is because of these?
Come on, yeah,
it's above and beyond,
but Abby and some of the gals
said they needed help. So I'm
not one to let a sister down.
That's not what I meant.
What I meant was...
Shut up! You're the best, Dale!
Ladies, as promised,
old sheets for your togas
from the motel across the freeway.
Abby, I thoroughly
bleached that one for you.
You set a meeting with the
admissions office? What the hell?
I want you to explain
to the admissions board
exactly what you meant when
you said I lack integrity.
Casey, their decision
has been made.
I'm sorry if you feel
you were misrepresented,
but I was asked to give
my professional opinion...
And you gave your personal one.
You made it sound like
I lied on my resume
or dipped into the campaign funds,
when in reality, I was working
for you, you made a move,
I told you I had a boyfriend
and suddenly I'm gonna
be a bad lawyer.
You want me to tell them that?
It'll make me sound
like a total...
Exactly. I'm sorry
if I misled you.
It wasn't my intent.
But I don't think you
understand what you did.
You changed my entire
life with one sentence.
And if you're going to
challenge my integrity,
I'd appreciate it if you
showed some yourself.
So either explain to them what you meant,
or rescind the letter.
Maybe my letter was slightly
colored by personal feelings.
I'm sorry.
But rescinding it now
won't make a difference.
- It will to me.
- Miss Cartwright.
I'm sorry, did we have
another appointment?
No, I was just checking something
off of my list before I leave.
- There was no meeting.
- Mm.
Remember when you told me
some people should be
in your life forever
and others just
make an appearance?
Thanks for that.
OK, guys, I know you want
to get ready for the party,
but we gotta do this.
So according to the by-laws,
we've been holding
elections all wrong.
Yeah. We have to vote.
Yeah, but after the speeches.
- That'll do.
- Any questions?
Yeah, is this gonna make
us late to the toga party?
Cappie?
Friends, KTs, brother-men!
Lend me your beers.
Thank you.
I come to bury Spitter,
not to praise him.
I have led the house of
KT with great success.
I think my record as KT
president speaks for itself.
And I ask you,
who has more fun than the KTs?
Anyone?
And I ask you to ask yourself,
is it even possible
to have more fun?
I think not. Therefore,
the only alternative is to have less fun.
And we all know that less fun
is not as fun as the fun
we're already having.
So let's wrap up
this election, and...
To-ga! To-ga! - To-ga! To-ga!
Ah! Theatrics, Spitter.
It's what the people want.
Spitter.
Uh, if elected...
...I promise I will
get you all laid!
Spitt-er! Spitt-er!
Spitt-er! Spitt-er!
To-ga! To-ga! To-ga!
Wait, you guys!
We have to vote now.
We'll vote after the party.
It'll give us more time
to digest these two
powerful speeches.
Looks like I know what
the ople want, too.
Oh! You should have seen it, Ash!
I totally put him in his place,
and then just left
him standing there.
It was incredible. I wonder
if this is what Erin
Brockovich felt like.
And now you can leave.
- Yay!
- Why are you panting?
Who the hell would build a
building without an elevator?
It makes no sense.
But with all these stairs, you
have to see my new New York ass.
I will be out there soon, I just
have a few more boxes and...
- Cappie.
- No!
Forget about Cappie and drive.
No, it is Cappie.
He's walking right toward me.
Remember, Spitter's not gonna buy
you fancy microbrews.
He can't even buy you brew.
Run to your car! Run!
I've got one more thing
on my to-do list, Ash.
Well, then put it on speaker!
Put it on speaker!
- Nice toga.
- Well played.
- I thought you were...
- Leaving? Yes, I am.
- Case, listen...
- No, no, you've had your chance.
Now, I have something
I need to say.
This was the worst
summer of my life.
- Our breakup crushed me.
- You think it was easy for me?
And now I'm leaving tomorrow,
and you can't even say goodbye.
- I don't know if now...
- Uh-uh!
Why couldn't you say
something? Anything?
You had all summer to say it,
but you didn't.
You know, so I guess this
is me saying it to you.
Goodbye, Cap.
Yeah! Bye, Cap! You suck!
This is Ashleigh, by the way.
Now, I can move on to Washington.
- Did he know it was me?
- Hold on, I have another call.
- Oh, my gosh, it's a university number.
- Put it on three-way!
Please? I have no television.
You're like a real reality show.
Yeah, I don't think
that's a good idea.
- Please? Please?
- OK.
Hello?
Who wants a refill, huh?
Brought to you by
Cappie the Carefree.
We're good, actually. Spitter
just brought us these, so...
Wonderful. More for me.
Mm. Hey, Beav! Buddy.
Just remember when you're voting
who saved you a trip to the bar.
Ah. Thank you, Cap, but we're
gonna hit the dance floor.
Go on ahead,
I'll meet you out there.
Spitter, Spitter! Thank you.
Your campaign promise
already paid off.
I just hooked up with that
Tri Pi in the bathroom!
- Glad I could be of service.
- What? Beav!
Spitter had nothing to do with that!
She's a Tri Pi.
Cap, he promised,
then it happened.
I wouldn't call
that a coincidence.
That's exactly what it's called!
Spitter, you got my vote.
Et tu, Beaver?
Hey, I never specified
when they get laid,
so technically, the next
time any of them have sex,
I'll be living up to
my campaign promise.
Oh, yeah? Well, maybe I'll just
go celibate to prove you a liar.
Yeah.
Another campaign promise fulfilled.
You're welcome, Heath.
Calvin was already my boyfriend!
- What's he talking about?
- Spitter lacks experience.
Stick with what works.
Your loyalty to me
as your Pledge Educator
- will not be forgotten.
- I
was your leader's leader.
Your loyalty's to me.
Cappie's reign must end.
Change is on the horizon.
Beware the fries, they're starch.
- Hm...
- I don't know.
I'm done.
Hey, hey. I'm calling
off this election.
- What? You can't do that.
- Yeah, I can.
Technically,
I'm still the president.
I have a chair in the
shape of my butt,
- so I can do whatever I want.
- You're being such a dictator
because you're
scared of the future.
You can't be KT president forever.
Time doesn't stand
still for anyone.
- You're not Peter Pan.
- Yeah,
all children grow up.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
I get it. Why do you care?
Because it's killing me to imagine
not having my sister around.
How is it not killing you?
I love this song!
Everybody, come dance!
Hey, let's dance.
Oh, my God! I'm obsessed
with foot massages lately!
Oh, my God, and they're so cheap!
Oh, my God! I have really
strong hands. So just...
...let me know. Whenever.
Dale?
What are you doing here?
Uh... what...?
Making good progress,
until you came along.
This party is exclusively for Omega Chis,
KTs, Tri Pis and ZBZs.
Oh, no. It's all good.
I rolled with Abby and Betsy.
And check it out.
I'm wearing our letters.
You are not a ZBZ!
You're definitely
not our rent boy.
They're never gonna
see you like that.
You're basically one of the girls,
- except we're pretty and thin.
- You did not just call me fat.
- Oh, yes, I did.
- You know what? I can diet,
- but you'll always be ugly on the inside.
- Take off that shirt!
- Not for you, missy!
- Take off that shirt!
- Take it off!
- Hey! What's going on?
You think you're one of us,
but you're not!
- You're not even in the Greek system!
- Not officially,
but I live with the Greek system,
and I work in it, too!
I am the eyes and ears of this
whole institution, my friend!
How else would I know the KTs
helped elect Calvin president
to make this whole truce happen?
Did you know that?
- I don't think so!
- KTs helped elect Calvin?
What?
Hello.
They're still voting at the house.
Beaver keeps losing count?
Yeah. It's worse
than Florida in 2000.
Look, I'm sorry for being
such a dick-tator lately.
I haven't been that
respectful about your sister.
Yeah, I wanted to
punch you in the face
for not seeing that,
but I couldn't.
Yeah, I know. You got weak wrists.
I mean morally. And that's why
I was running against you,
to hurt you in another way.
I would've rather you punched me.
We'll always be friends,
no matter who wins.
Look, I think you should know why
I didn't say anything to Case.
It's pretty simple. I mean...
All I could say was goodbye.
And that would have
been it for us.
Over, forever.
So your answer was to do nothing?
Look, I didn't want
things to end or change.
She was right during spring break.
Change scares me.
I'm scared I'm gonna lose her.
Cappie, you are
losing her forever.
Look, I'm sorry.
I should've told you about the
truce arrangement with the KTs.
- I really... I screwed up.
- Hey, man.
I'm gonna be moving out of the house.
I'm an alum now.
So good luck with all that.
Casey?
Cap?
- Look...
- Oh!
I just wanted to say I'm sorry.
For everything. For "Nice hat,"
For... especially
for Cinco de Mayo...
- Cap...
- No, no, listen. This is my turn, OK?
You called me out on
spring break and you were right.
I was scared.
And I know that there's a lot of
things that we have to work on,
and I know it's gonna be
really hard with you
living in Washington...
I... I got into CRU.
I've already decided to stay.
That's great!
Wait, so we can try again.
But not because of you.
I never wanted to leave here.
I just wanted to go to law school.
Is it a little about me?
Nothing's changed.
I...
I can't just try again
with you after everything
because you haven't done
anything to earn that.
If we got back together,
I'd be the one
questioning my integrity.
We have three more years now.
I can change. I will change.
And I believe that you can.
But until you do, that's all talk.
So then... do we have any shot?
- Maybe.
- Maybe?
Maybe.
Well, at least you're staying.
Something to hope for.
Uh, the door's open, Cap.
I appreciate you leaving
it open for me, Case.
I can change. I'll show you.
I'm gonna turn that
"Maybe" Into a "Yes."
I meant the door... over there.
Right.
Perhaps I went a little too far.
You're right, I'm not a ZBZ.
I wouldn't mind being with one.
But maybe I am just an outsider.
- You'll clean this up for me, right?
- Why don't you like me?
Because you're weird.
And as president
of the number one
sorority on this campus,
this entire house is now
resting on my shoulders. Alone.
So I need to make sure we
look good and you don't help.
Why does the Greek system focus
so much on image and status
- and stupid skinny ties.
- The Greek system?
Please, try planet Earth.
And I didn't make the rules,
I just benefit from them.
And tend to ignore
those who don't.
You're not a nice person.
But you think if you
put on a skinny tie,
girls of this world
will just swoon?
That might work on some girls,
but not a ZBZ.
So you're saying I need better
bait to catch better fish?
I don't really do blue-collar metaphors,
but, sure, whatevs.
Hey, Case. So sorry to see you go!
What time's the big send-off?
- And when will my room be ready?
- Oh.
I've actually decided to stay.
What? Not here, you're not!
Thank you, Jesus.
I know, Ash. I won't be
able to visit you by train
from CRU, but we'll
still talk every day.
OK, fine. Every half hour.
- Are you sure that's the right decision?
- I have no idea.
Hey, Ash, I gotta go.
I'll call you later, OK?
- Say hi to her for me.
- Wait, wait. Rusty says hi.
Oh! Hey, watch it!
Oh! Oh, OK. Yeah.
Ash says thanks for her whistle.
Yeah.
I guess I'm not the lone
Cartwright on campus.
I hope I'm not
cramping your style.
Just don't embarrass me by
showing up at the same parties.
- Embarrass you how?
- You know, 'cause you graduated.
- It'd be kind of pathetic.
- OK.
Oh, what happened with the
election? Did you win?
Cappie assured me this is
gonna be his last year.
As president, or...?
He didn't specify.
Well, something to hope for.