Greek (2007–2011): Season 3, Episode 20 - All Children... Grow Up - full transcript
I brought it up with Cappie.
Well, you have to
live your own life.
You have to go after what you want
and not worry about him.
I'm just not sure I'm
ready to graduate.
So what about you and Casey?
If she gets into CRU Law,
then it won't be an issue.
- And if she doesn't?
- I don't really know.
I'm sorry I tried to change you.
- What about graduation?
- We'll worry about that in May.
[Rusty] Dana inspires me.
Do you need to talk to
me about anything else?
I've been thinking.
I enjoy our time together,
but I don'twant.
No. Sorry.
[Rusty] Why won't you tell
me your plan for revenge?
- Because there isn't one.
- You didn't think I could help you.
But I also know if I have a problem,
I can come to you.
I just wish you felt the same.
Ladies and gentlemen,
as president, it is my job
to nominate the one man who
can lead us to victory.
And our new Revenge Chair:
Rusty Cartwright!
Phase One is complete.
Phase Two: Myrtle Beach.
[exhaling]
After years of pranks and brawls
and pledge paddles, this is it.
Revenge on Omega Chi has
never looked so sweet.
And fun!
The first phase of Mission:
Probable is complete.
The next three are ready and
waiting in Myrtle Beach.
You might have to do
some of this without me.
I have a secret mission of
my own involving your sister.
- [chuckling]
- Beav!
And put Evan Chambers down.
What are you doing?
Are you talking about
Casey's birthday?
I thought you were cc'ed
on her gift wish list.
No, I'm pretty sure this is
something she won't be expecting.
No way!
Wait, is that the same
lavaliere that Beaver...
Don't ask questions.
You don't want to know.
This is Casey's last spring break.
I'm gonna get this right.
Find the perfect moment.
Cap... you know, if this works,
we're never gonna have to worry
about the Omega Chis again.
That's the plan.
[Beaver simulating
explosion] Mini-car!
You're going down,
little Omega Chi pony!
B Team, rappel!
Boot stomps!
Well, that makes my sixth
interview this week!
After graduation, I'm just gonna
have to live off the land.
- Whatever thameans.
- It went well?
If you ask me what
my weaknesses are,
I'm gonna tell you!
Punctuality's overrated anyway.
Fortunately, we have spring break to
delight and maybe even surprise us.
And take our minds off of all
this post-grad craziness.
By post-grad craziness,
are you referring to the fact
that you're both insanely
checking your e-mail
for law school responses?
So f f far I've been rejected m Stanford,
Georgetown and Texas.
I feel like Laura at a mixer.
Well, you still have
George Washington...
And CRU.
I just want to know already.
You know, we did get
some mail earlier today.
What? Where is it? Where is it at?
They say you can tell a lot about
whether you were accepted or not
- by the size of the envelope.
- Oh, my gosh, I can't look!
Like what they say about
guys and their feet.
That's a myth!
And where's the damn mail?
- Oh, it's big.
- [gasping]
It's big. It's really big.
- [laughing]
- [Cappie] Read it.
Open it! Open it!
Oh, my God, I got into GW Law
School in Washington, DC!
- [both laughing]
- Yay! That's awesome!
I know! Oh, my God.
Oh, my God,
this is really happening.
Yeah, it's really happening.
And you know they
really did admit you
because George Washington
University cannot tell a lie.
Um...
Ash, did you get any mail from CRU?
- No.
- Not yet, right?
Right.
[computer keys clacking]
...and since the KTs
were gracious enough
to suck at golf last week,
I'm proud to say we have
a si party house in Myrtle Beach!
[all cheering]
It's on the Strand, wet bar, hot tub.
It's gonna be awesome!
All right, all right,
but not too awesome, guys.
I got a letter from Nationals,
they're seriously cracking down this year.
"Given several incidents involving
illegal or untoward behavior
by some chapters last spring break,
members involved in
any illegal activity
will risk immediate suspension and
the revocation of their charter."
Well, there goes our South
Carolinian prostitution ring.
[all laughing]
All right, next up, house elections
are after we return
from spring break,
so I'll now open the floor
to presidential nominations.
- JP?
- I nominate Trip Sutcliffe.
[all applauding]
Well, I graciously and humbly
accept this nomination.
I would like to
nominate Calvin Owens.
- Me?
- Shocker.
Even though we broke up,
I still appreciate his integrity
and I would love to see
him lead this house.
Thanks, Grant.
[Evan] Uh, great.
Any other nominations?
All right, campaign
season will commence
after Spring Break for
Sutcliffe versus Owens.
Meeting adjourned.
So that was pretty
cool of Grant, huh?
Yeah, I'm glad to see you
guys are staying friends.
I'm not sure he did you a favor,
though. - What do you mean?
You know what I've been through
with this house, these guys.
How much of a jerk I've had to be.
I'm just no sure this is a
job you're wired to handle.
Or even really want.
[Dana] Wow, I've never been
to Myrtle Beach before.
It's so great.
There's this club, Paradox.
Are they gonna stamp our hands or
give us one of those wristband things?
Oh, I couldn't get in.
But the beach is so great.
Provided you wear sun block,
which I didn't.
Sounds... dangerous.
Well, the truth is, I was
actually only there for one night.
I ended up coming back
with Calvin and Dale.
See, Calvin and I were kind of in a fight
because of the feud between our houses.
Your houses sure fight a lot.
Well, this spring break's
going to be different, right?
There are a few things
I have to do for KT
while I'm there,
but outside of that,
it's gonna be all Dana-Rusty,
all the time.
I can't wait. I was lucky to
get a room so last minute.
Well... I know we've only been
going out a couple of weeks.
And the way the economy is...
We could share a room.
To save money.
Only if you want!
Because of the economy.
And stuff.
Um, I wouldn't mind...
saving a little money.
That's great! 'Cause the
economy sucks, so...
- ...we can be frugal. Together.
- [chuckling]
Yes, sir. I completely see
the irony of asking you
to do something illegal
regarding admissions to a school
that teaches the law,
but if I did get into CRU Law,
could you just, like,
cough or sniff or something?
One cough yes,
two coughs no? Hello?
[groans] Stupid laws.
I have some good news.
I just got off the phone with Nationals
and next year they're
requiring all houses employ
- a full-time house mother.
- How's that good news?
Well, I meant for us,
'cause we're graduating.
- Mmm-hmm.
- I wish I was graduating.
Trust me, little sis, you don't.
[sighs] Oh, Abby...
Where are we on Casey's
surprise birthday party?
We're set! I reserved a
section at Tijuana Tony's.
Big banner, lots of balloons,
pink ones.
And make sure they have a
lemon drop waiting for her.
- Then keep them coming.
- Right!
What? Casey's as predictable
as a Katherine Heigl movie.
So what's all this graduation talk?
Just the thought of going
to spring break single?
It's kinda sad.
And kinda my second year doing it.
Sorry.
No, don't be. We can find
fun new guys together!
I'm kinda missing my lame old one.
OK, we need to shake
this Evan Chambers thing.
You know what we could do?
We could take a
vacation from ourselves.
Can we go somewhere
better than Myrtle Beach?
No, but we can lie
about who we are.
I used to do it all the
time on family vacations.
On one trip to San Francisco,
I told this waiter I was
a teen prodigy in town
to play the cello for
Tony Blair and Oprah.
And I got free dessert.
It was awesome.
Trust me.
Hey, you heading back down
to Sin in the Sand Land?
Yeah. I thought you were
going turkey-hunting again.
I thought I'd do something a little
different. Maybe hang out by the pool, get
some sun.
It's too bad you don't want
to go to Sin in the Sand Land.
I wouldn't say no.
You just called it "
Sin in the Sand Land."
Why would you want to go?
For the sand. If I were invited.
Well, my room is
going to be occupied.
But I do know someone else
who has an extra room.
- I can call her and see if...
- Is that an invitation?
Dale, do you want to go to
Myrtle Beach with me and Dana?
- Dana's going?
- I'm sure she won't mind.
No, I just find her really grating.
Let me think about it.
All right, yeah,
I'll pack my floaties.
[rock music plays]
* Show me the sun *
Hey! You're wasting valuable
party time, Case! Let's go!
Hold on, guys. Hi, um... Hi.
Do you have any mail
for Casey Cartwright?
I'm her. I mean, I'm she.
She's me. I'm me. Hi.
Hi. I can't deliver
mail to strangers.
You're going to have to wait
until I get to your house.
This might be my last spring break.
With my boyfriend.
Because we're going down
two different life paths.
Unless I get into CRU Law School.
Law school? So you
know it's illegal...
Yeah, irony, got it.
Regardless, if I get into CRU,
that'd buy us a few more years.
If I don't, then have to accept
that this is a college thing,
and we'll have to go
our separate ways.
- I deliver mail for a living.
- I'll pay you.
Also illegal. You know what?
Never mind, here.
I'll give you a trick of the trade.
You can tell whether you
were accepted or not
by the size of the envelope.
- Oh, CRU Law, right? Sorry.
- Thanks.
* 'Cause there's no guarantee *
* When you're ready to
say goodbye *
* Are you ready to go... *
[bus engine turning over]
- Oh, so... anything from CRU?
- Just this underwear catalog.
- Oh, can I have it?
- We've talked about this, Beav.
Casey Cartwright,
this is gonna be a spring break
- you'll never forget.
- I think so.
- [engine starts]
- [cheering]
* Young scholars young lovers *
Wow, it's as God-awful
as I'd imagined.
You know, Dale, I really wish
I hadn't cancelled that room.
Oh, I don't mind
staying with you two.
Hmm. There's gotta be a
Hide-A-Bed or something.
Where's it hiding?
Sorry, Dana.
It's OK. I just thought
we were gonna...
...save a little money.
We are. We're doing
this three ways, right?
No! Not in the way you're thinking.
But there can still
be some savings.
We can save some money elsewhere.
I brought coupons,
for your pleasure.
Stone Phillips says a black
light is the best way
to check for residual...
protein matter.
- Oh!
- There it is.
Looks like someone saved
money all over the room.
On the phone?
- I call the floor.
- Guess we get the bed.
Did you guys see the
hot tub out back?
This place is better than the
house on Jersey Shore.
And with fewer
hair-gelled fame-whores.
Yeah. I can't believe we
lucked out with this place.
I can't believe the KTs
lucked into this place.
Hey. What the hell
are you doing here?
This is my boss's house.
Uh, I think there's
been a misunderstanding.
No, freakin' kidding!
This is our house, actually.
We rented it for the week.
No, these guys we know rented it.
What are you, stupid or something?
You got exactly ten seconds
to get off this property.
Or what?
Oh! OK. Um, sir,
we apologize to you.
And we don't want any trouble
so we will be leaving now.
Take these items, please,
as a gift, and uh...
Sorry.
It's a set-up. Kappa Taus wanted
us to win that tournament.
- Well, now we're homeless.
- Guess we kinda had it coming.
Had it coming? Let's serve it back.
Let's find a place
to stay first, Trip.
Phase two is complete.
[dance music playing]
So that's it. I guess I'm leaving
Cyprus and leaving Cappie.
I'm sorry.
But I thought you'd
accepted your relationship
with Cappie would end
after graduation.
I did, but that's when
everything was... theoretical.
- And now it's retical.
- Exactly. I'm gonna be 22!
Do you know who's 22? Old people.
But do old people
bungee jump? [giggles]
Come on, it's our last spring break
and I'm not going to let you
angst your way through it.
- I am gonna miss you, though.
- I'm gonna miss you, too!
[both laughing]
How could I not have
gotten into CRU?
I mean, that was my safety school!
GW Law was sort of a long shot.
You got into law school?
Congrats! I went to Georgetown.
Really? Any advice?
Yeah, it's, uh... It's really hard.
Don't flunk out.
Who wants shots from
the Margarito Bandito?
[all cheering]
- You want a shot?
- Uh, God, yes! Please!
- Here, here, here!
- [laughing]
- OK...
- [yelling]
[laughing]
Wow, my first fake ID.
I can't believe it worked.
Thank you, "Chad Stewart."
Don't thank me, "Penelope Holmes."
Thank Kappa Tau.
What's the matter, Francis Domingo?
[rap music plays]
Well, I might try the bar. Um...
What should get?
"Sex on the Beach.
Sex in the Water.
Sex Wading in the Water but
Planning to Come Back to the Beach."
What do you think, Rusty?
Just get anything you want.
You know, with drink
names like that,
they're practically promoting
unwanted pregnancies.
You won't have to worry about that.
You won't have to worry about that.
- Now that I'm sharing the room.
- Thanks, Francis.
Thank you.
Hey, I'm Taylor.
I'm a dancer from
Portland who loves pugs,
moody floral prints and the
music of Muse. And you are?
- Julia.
- OK, well that's a start.
So who are Julia and
Taylor going to meet first?
I think you got one, Taylor.
I'm gonna go in for a closer look.
Hi! I'm Taylor.
I'm a dancer from Portland.
I love your top.
It seems leopard print's
really making a comeback.
OK... thanks.
You know, I have this friend who
just broke up with his boyfriend.
- I could call him.
- Ooh.
Um, hi?
Sorry, cutie.
This is just business.
We come down here every
year to observe trends,
check out the young people.
I like your look.
I'm Faith Flowers.
Well, Faith Flowers,
let me be clear.
I'm not interested in porn,
or lifting my top or
making out with a girl.
Shame on you.
Was that Faith Flowers?
I didn't know you watched porn.
No, Faith Flowers is
a trend forecaster.
My father hired her as a
consultant back in the day.
Companies pay her to tell them
what the latest trends are.
Wait, that's a real job?
I'd be so good at that!
It's like being cool and psychic!
Do something about it.
What? Just go up to her
and beg her for a job?
- She's right there...
- Oh, no! She was right there.
It's like she's magic.
No. She's the Fairy Job Mother.
OK, look, we already
have a hotel, all right?
So let's put everything
behind us and have some fun.
Hi, guys. How's the house?
We sure are pissed
we lost it. [groans]
Yeah. That house belongs to
someone else. Someone armed.
And since it's spring break,
now we're stuck in a crap hotel.
- Sorry to hear about that, Cal.
- Thanks, Heath.
Heath meant that sarcastically,
by the way.
When you guys are trying to
sleep in your crappy hotel,
I hope you dream of Jeremy,
Ferret and Wade.
Aw, you're still
whining about that?
For the last time, we didn't
mean for them to get expelled.
Then I didn't mean to sleep
with your girlfriend, Bing.
- Oh, wait, yes I did.
- Ooh!
Everyone remember
what Nationals said.
All right, hey, hey...
Happy spring break, Evan Pompeo!
Of Grey's Anatomy fame!
Abby! How's your first
college spring break so far?
I never want to leave!
I heard about GW,
that's so exciting!
- Yeah, really exciting.
- Where are you going to live?
I haven't thought about it.
Are you going to get a roommate?
I'm not sure.
- Do you even know anyone there?
- No.
You're probably not going to have
a whole lot of time to socialize.
I bet law school is super hard.
Are you ready for it?
You know what, Abby? Um,
I don't know.
I'm not even 100
percent sure I'm going.
I mean, I could just stay
in Cyprus for another year.
Maybe take that
housemother job at ZBZ.
You should totally stay!
Yeah...
Right?
My parents say hi.
They can't sleep at night
knowing I'm down here.
Their only comfort is knowing
I'm below the Mason-Dixon line.
So what should we do today?
I was thinking you could
do your own thing today.
But I'm not sure how
much fun I can have alone
on a plantation tour.
Why don't you guys come with me?
Dana and I had kinda had
some romantic time planned.
What's more romantic than taking
in the architectural detail
of two-century-old
slaves' quarters?
I read online that girls love them.
Listen, I appreciate you coming
all this way to spend spring break
because you wanted to
spend time with me...
I didn't come for you.
Do you think I enjoy
being your third wheel!?
Then why are you here?
Forget it, have fun
with your girlfriend.
- Is Francis OK?
- I have no idea.
You know, we're alone.
Do you want to save some money?
Oh!
Crap! I've got this
KT stuff I gotta do.
It's Phase Three,
but I'll be right back.
I will wait here.
- [muffled vomiting]
- Or I'll go to the beach.
Uh, Casey, wake up.
Wake up, Casey,
hurry! Hurry, wake up!
Casey... Aww!
- Happy birthday!
- Oh...
That's so nice.
Oh, ow! Oh, my gosh,
I am so hung over.
Yeah.
- How are you not?
- Practice.
You were the life of the
party last night. - [groaning]
I think, at one point,
you put a lamp shade on your head.
- You were so cute and cliche.
- It was fun.
Thanks for the... cruller.
Um, I actually had
something else...
I didn't get into CRU.
Oh.
Oh, I'm sorry, Case.
But, I've been thinking. About us.
And my life in Cyprus
and the sorority.
And I have decided... to stay.
I can defer GW for a year.
Maybe even two.
You're not still drunk, are you?
I've even been thinking about
taking up the house
mother position at ZBZ.
I love my life at ZBZ,
and I love you.
Why would I leave?
Yay!
So, do you know what I
feel like doing right now?
Oh, I hope so.
Stop it. I'm gonna
get some clothes on.
- Let's go.
- OK.
[Ashleigh] Well, nothing on
the Fairy Job Mother so far.
How are you doing on
boy patrol, "Julia?"
[Rebecca] None so far.
Ugh! You're on vacation from
yourself! Look for boys.
I can't vacate. I miss Evan, OK?
[sighs] So are you going
to do something about it?
Right. Just pour my heart out and
plead for him to take me back.
He's right over there.
Just open up myself to him and
possibly have him shut me down?
You and I have had
our set of issues.
If I can forgive you,
maybe he can too.
Can you give me a minute?
Guys? I'll meet up with you.
- [laughs nervously] Hi.
- Hi.
Wow, um... Here's the thing.
I'm just gonna get to the point.
I screwed up... big time.
I hurt you. And I'm sorry for that.
I still care about you.
A lot, actually.
And I miss you.
And I would appreciate
a second chance.
I can't.
I appreciate your apology, Rebecca.
And I can forgive, but I'm
honestly not sure I can forget.
Or if I even really want to.
I'm still pissed.
I'm sorry.
So then...
...there it is.
Wow. You can see a lot up here.
You can practically see forever.
- Speaking of forever...
- [whimpering]
- Case...
- [gasping]
If you're gonna puke I'd
throw it more that direction.
I think I see some
Omega Chis down there.
I'm... I'm OK,
um... Why don't you go first?
I thought you wanted to do this.
Are you scared?
I'm not scared. It's just...
- What if the cord breaks?
- That never happens. Does it?
- Nah.
- Nah, never happens.
OK, well, what if it's calibrated
wrong and I hit the ground
and I bounce back up
and hit the platform
and then I hit the ground again?
Seems a little Wile E Coyote.
There's some basis in
real physics there.
I think that's just the
fear talking, Case.
So what if it is fear?
Fear's natural.
It's good. It keeps you
from making mistakes.
Doing things that
you're not ready for.
Not when it keeps you
from living your life.
- Having fun.
- I just don't want to do it.
So I'm going to crawl back down.
I'll see you on the ground.
Not if I see you first.
[whooping]
So, I ran into Rebecca earlier.
She apologized.
- Wanted to get back together.
- And?
I said no. I mean, are you kidding?
You know you still like her, Evan.
Why don't you give
her another chance?
Because then if I get burned again,
I'm the fool.
No thank you.
See, Cal, you're too nice.
Uh, guys What the hell?
Is that the guy from the house?
And isn't that your little
KT buddy paying him, Owens?
- Buying some guns, Cartwright?
- Who? What?
That guy? I've never
seen that guy before.
You hired that guy to kick
us out of that beach house.
Joke's over. You got me.
- I must be going now.
- Hey, hey...
No problems.
So, if that wasn't his house,
who's staying there now?
- Uh... nobody?
- Nobody? All right.
Then we're taking back our house.
OK, all right! Everybody listen up!
We should toast the Omega Chis
for making this spring
break memorable.
- Cheers!
- [all cheering]
Uh, Spitter. We said you could
invite one friend from school.
Cap, I'm sorry,
they caught me paying off Roy.
Listen, we're taking back this house.
We won it fair and square. So get out.
We're not leaving, Chambers.
You lied to me.
You got three of our
brothers expelled.
Leave us the house,
we'll call it even. - No way, Cap.
If you want us gone,
then you're going to have to kill us.
"Kill"? What am I
walking into here, boys?
Officer. Everything's fine.
We're gonna turn the music down.
And, uh... these guys
were just leaving.
- Who's house is this?
- It's ours.
Yep. It's theirs.
You heard the man.
We were just leaving.
Come on, KTs! Let's go!
[donkey braying]
Cheese and crackers!
Is this your donkey, too?
No, we've never seen that before.
What else here isn't yours?
Hey, who ordered the fat,
ugly strippers? - Dale?
- What happened to the party?
- That's not ours either.
Have you been drinking?
How old are you, son?
- I am 21, you jackass.
- [donkey braying]
I got a card to prove it.
And that's Senor Domingo to you, jefe.
Yeah, uh, that's right.
You just look so young, Francis.
Let's get you outta here.
I'm shutting this party down!
Everyone go home!
Except for you guys. It's your place.
I need to see your IDs.
Officer, listen...
The fact is we just arrived.
Any illegal activity has
nothing to do with us.
And we're in a fraternity.
If we get in any trouble like this,
we could lose our charter.
Should've thought of that before
you involved that innocent donkey.
All right, Cap.
Come on, man, we could
lose our house. For real.
Well, that's not what
we intended but, uh...
Seems fitting, don't you think?
- Hey, are you OK?
- What? Oh, yeah. Hi.
- Do you want some company?
- Um... Why not?
I guess I've already lost...
Faith? Faith Flowers!
Hi, It's... It's me! Ash... Taylor.
Ashed Aylor? What a delicious name.
Thank you! You can call
me Ashleigh for short.
I just wanted to say I'm really
sorry about the porn thing.
- What are you talking about?
- I'm the...
...someone you don't know.
But you should.
Um, I'm graduating from
CRU in about a month.
I've interview for jobs ranging from
the assistant to the regional manager
of blah, blah, blah to the junior
exec to the head of "Who Cares."
I don't love any of that.
So I started to accept
that I was gonna get a job I didn't love
because that's what people do, right?
Until I met you.
Look at this dress.
I made it out of a couple of really
old T-shirts and dresses I had,
because, one, I'm in
college and poor, and, two,
I didn't want to throw them out
and have them sit in a landfill.
So deconstructed fashion, right?
It's totally on the rise
because of the economy,
and because of how green everyone's getting.
And I love realizing that.
I love being able to imagine
what the next thing will be,
not just in fashion,
but in everything.
And the idea of being able to do that,
what I love, and get paid?
That probably has to be the most
amazing thing anyone can do, right?
So I guess, what I'm trying to say,
Fairy Job Mother,
- is that I love you.
- I beg your pardon?
I mean, I love what you do.
And I would love to do what you do.
Or learn from you.
Or get you coffee or whatever.
So... what do you say?
Did you guys witness any
activity with the donkey?
Do something, Chambers.
They're going to shut our house down.
What the hell do you
expect me to do, Trip?
They caught us with
a freakin' donkey.
Some president.
Uh, officer?
Uh, hey, Trip,
why don't you let it alone?
At least he's doing something.
Officer Nixon, we'd be happy
to make a sizable donation
to your department if you were to look
the other way on this whole thing.
Bribery, too?
Against the wall, Big Red!
You boys are screwed.
Um... Officer Nixon?
Hi, uh, can we talk in private?
[indistinct murmuring]
I hope he doesn't screw this up.
After Trip,
it can't get much worse.
We're going to lose our
charter, aren't we?
Thank you. Thank you so much.
All right, guys. We're good here.
Let's go get some pancakes.
- What the hell did you do?
- I handled it. So let's get
our stuff back in here and
resume our spring break!
- [all cheering]
- Dude, you got my vote, Owens.
Way to go, little bro.
Maybe you do have what it takes
to become president of Omega Chi.
Yeah, well, I learned from
the best. - Thanks, man.
You've shown me how loyal
and generous someone can be.
But you've also shown me how pride
can really threaten to ruin a guy.
It's not your family or your money,
Evan. It's your pride.
You're gonna lose
Rebecca because of that.
- [knocking on door]
- Hey.
- Hey.
- What are you doing?
I am getting ready for my
surprise birthday party.
- How about you?
- Did Abby tell you?
It's a sorority, Ash. Not the CIA.
OK, good, because I have a
secret that I can't keep!
I... got a job!
It's not a job-job,
more of an unpaid internship
with this woman, Faith Flowers.
She's a trend forecaster.
What? That's perfect for you.
I know! I'm going to New York!
[both giggling]
Oh, my God!
It's really happening.
Aren't you a little freaked out?
No. I'm ready.
Case, when I started CRU,
I thought I'd just get a degree,
maybe get married.
I never really thought I
wanted that much for myself.
But then I met you,
and because of you and
because of our friendship...
...I've come to want more for myself
than I ever could've imagined.
You always go after what you want,
and I'll never forget that.
You're my best friend
and you always will be.
Even if I'm in New York
and you stay in Cyprus.
Wait, you knew?
Yeah, it's a sorority. Not the CIA.
Maybe I'm not as strong
as you think I am.
Yes, you are.
Maybe you've just taken a
vacation from yourself.
Oh, spinning! Stop the spinning!
I'm so sorry. This is not
what I wanted it to be for us.
It's OK. We can save
money back in Cyprus.
Just say sex. Good lord,
I'm from the South, not France.
Dale, where were you all day?
This is your fault!
You're like weed.
You're my gateway,
Rusty Cartwright!
My fault? I didn't get you wasted.
Why'd you really want to come here?
[Dale] Well, not for the sand, OK?
I wanted a girl.
And not a landlady.
Or some sorority girl that's
too insecure to stick by me.
I wanted to have a real college
experience like you did.
And have fun.
'Cause I only got two
years left to do it.
Should we go get him some coffee,
or something?
You look like Aliens vs.
Predator, but all in one human form.
[knocking on door]
- I need you.
- I need you, Casey.
What's up?
Uh6.. I got into law
school in Washington.
That's great!
It's not, because I'm not going.
I now see why Cappie
doesn't want to graduate.
What if I'm not ready,
Rusty? What if I fail?
You're ready. There are bigger
things out there for you now.
I'll be alone.
Casey, remember when
I first came to CRU?
I was terrified. I was lonely.
I didn't have a world.
But if I had never came here,
I never would've
joined a fraternity.
Met Cappie and all those guys.
Calvin and Dale.
I never would've had the relationship
that I have with you now.
Now I have a whole universe.
Did you ever read Peter Pan?
No. See? I've never even
read Peter Pan!
I have no business leaving school.
- I have to stay.
- The first line of Peter Pan
is "All children,
except one, grow up."
Wendy knew that at two years old.
You're learning it at 22.
Everyone has to grow up.
Nobody's Peter Pan.
Not even Cappie.
Dale just threw up.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Oh, Dana. This is my sister, Casey.
I didn't know you have a sister.
Oh, my God, you should've seen your face!
You were so surprised.
I... Yes, I was. Thanks, Abby.
OK, there are a lot of
really cute guys here.
You're still on vacation.
Not sure my vacation
worked out, Ash.
So I'm calling it a night.
Despite Dale's vomit,
I'm really enjoying Myrtle Beach.
Uh-oh, here comes Calvin.
No fighting, OK? We need
some BattleBots or something.
- So?
- Phase four is complete.
Even Trip said he'd vote for me.
Then may Iongratulate the
future president of Omega Chi.
What? - As president,
I think my first order of business will be
to declare a truce between
Kappa Tau and Omega Chi.
Wait, what? It was all a joke?
A series of phases, to be exact,
concocted by our Revenge Chair.
The entire plot was brought to you
by the brotherhood of Kappa Tau.
The mob guy was actually Brother
Rubik's Cube, Class of '85.
The Myrtle Beach cops were Brothers Pez,
Paisley, Tricky Dick and Disco Dan.
All KT Brothers from the University
of South Carolina, class of '79.
- Brothers for life.
- Mmm-hmm.
What are you gonna do now that you don't
have Omega Chi to kick around anymore?
Enjoy life? - [Cappie] I don't know,
I saw Lambda Sig
looking at me funny last week.
I didn't care for that.
I'm gonna get to the
bottom of it. - Hey...
- How about we go on that walk now?
- Oh, OK. Yeah.
- Sure.
- Beav...
Rebecca! Wait, wait, listen!
I'm... [exhales]
- You're what?
- I'm not the good guy.
I don't always do the
right thing all the time.
And I'm always blaming
my parents or the money.
But the only person
to blame is myself.
I let my pride get in the way,
d I don't want to lose you.
You can forget what a mess I am?
You cheated on me because
you don't believe
you deserve happiness, but you do.
I do. And we can
find that together.
I'd like to try.
So, uh, I've been waiting
for the perfect moment
to give you something, and, um...
Well, I think now's
as good a time as any.
Oh? What is it?
I want you to wear my lavaliere.
I love you, Casey.
I love you, too.
You're not as excited
as I thought you'd be.
Is it because of where it's been?
What? No, it's just, um...
I didn't bungee jump today
because I was scared.
And if I stay in Cyprus,
I'd be staying because I'm scared.
You're going to Washington,
aren't you?
I have to do what's best for me,
and that's law school.
Don't you want me
to go and succeed?
I do. I guess I'm being selfish
because I know that means
I'm gonna lose you.
Cap, you can come with me!
To Washington!
- You could transfer...
- I'm not sure I can leave.
And I can't stay.
But, Cap, I totally understand
why you're scared to go.
- I'm not scared.
- That's OK.
Leaving something
can be terrifying...
Is that what you're doing?
Are you leaving me behind?
No, I want us to move
forward, together!
I don't want to move forward!
Because you don't want to grow up!
Then what other choice do we have?
We are two different people
who love each other very much.
It seems like the only
place where our differences
don't matter is in college.
Maybe this is just one of those
college relationships, huh?
If it is, it's the
best one of all time.
Look, let's just finish the
year out together, and...
No, screw it.
You know what? Why wait?
If you don't have more
faith in us than that?
- Then we should break up now.
- No, I don't want to.
Well, too late.
It's done. All right?
I can't believe I was gonna
give this to you tonight.
I would've felt pretty college
doing something like that.
Cappie, please... Cappie...
Cappie...
Well, you have to
live your own life.
You have to go after what you want
and not worry about him.
I'm just not sure I'm
ready to graduate.
So what about you and Casey?
If she gets into CRU Law,
then it won't be an issue.
- And if she doesn't?
- I don't really know.
I'm sorry I tried to change you.
- What about graduation?
- We'll worry about that in May.
[Rusty] Dana inspires me.
Do you need to talk to
me about anything else?
I've been thinking.
I enjoy our time together,
but I don'twant.
No. Sorry.
[Rusty] Why won't you tell
me your plan for revenge?
- Because there isn't one.
- You didn't think I could help you.
But I also know if I have a problem,
I can come to you.
I just wish you felt the same.
Ladies and gentlemen,
as president, it is my job
to nominate the one man who
can lead us to victory.
And our new Revenge Chair:
Rusty Cartwright!
Phase One is complete.
Phase Two: Myrtle Beach.
[exhaling]
After years of pranks and brawls
and pledge paddles, this is it.
Revenge on Omega Chi has
never looked so sweet.
And fun!
The first phase of Mission:
Probable is complete.
The next three are ready and
waiting in Myrtle Beach.
You might have to do
some of this without me.
I have a secret mission of
my own involving your sister.
- [chuckling]
- Beav!
And put Evan Chambers down.
What are you doing?
Are you talking about
Casey's birthday?
I thought you were cc'ed
on her gift wish list.
No, I'm pretty sure this is
something she won't be expecting.
No way!
Wait, is that the same
lavaliere that Beaver...
Don't ask questions.
You don't want to know.
This is Casey's last spring break.
I'm gonna get this right.
Find the perfect moment.
Cap... you know, if this works,
we're never gonna have to worry
about the Omega Chis again.
That's the plan.
[Beaver simulating
explosion] Mini-car!
You're going down,
little Omega Chi pony!
B Team, rappel!
Boot stomps!
Well, that makes my sixth
interview this week!
After graduation, I'm just gonna
have to live off the land.
- Whatever thameans.
- It went well?
If you ask me what
my weaknesses are,
I'm gonna tell you!
Punctuality's overrated anyway.
Fortunately, we have spring break to
delight and maybe even surprise us.
And take our minds off of all
this post-grad craziness.
By post-grad craziness,
are you referring to the fact
that you're both insanely
checking your e-mail
for law school responses?
So f f far I've been rejected m Stanford,
Georgetown and Texas.
I feel like Laura at a mixer.
Well, you still have
George Washington...
And CRU.
I just want to know already.
You know, we did get
some mail earlier today.
What? Where is it? Where is it at?
They say you can tell a lot about
whether you were accepted or not
- by the size of the envelope.
- Oh, my gosh, I can't look!
Like what they say about
guys and their feet.
That's a myth!
And where's the damn mail?
- Oh, it's big.
- [gasping]
It's big. It's really big.
- [laughing]
- [Cappie] Read it.
Open it! Open it!
Oh, my God, I got into GW Law
School in Washington, DC!
- [both laughing]
- Yay! That's awesome!
I know! Oh, my God.
Oh, my God,
this is really happening.
Yeah, it's really happening.
And you know they
really did admit you
because George Washington
University cannot tell a lie.
Um...
Ash, did you get any mail from CRU?
- No.
- Not yet, right?
Right.
[computer keys clacking]
...and since the KTs
were gracious enough
to suck at golf last week,
I'm proud to say we have
a si party house in Myrtle Beach!
[all cheering]
It's on the Strand, wet bar, hot tub.
It's gonna be awesome!
All right, all right,
but not too awesome, guys.
I got a letter from Nationals,
they're seriously cracking down this year.
"Given several incidents involving
illegal or untoward behavior
by some chapters last spring break,
members involved in
any illegal activity
will risk immediate suspension and
the revocation of their charter."
Well, there goes our South
Carolinian prostitution ring.
[all laughing]
All right, next up, house elections
are after we return
from spring break,
so I'll now open the floor
to presidential nominations.
- JP?
- I nominate Trip Sutcliffe.
[all applauding]
Well, I graciously and humbly
accept this nomination.
I would like to
nominate Calvin Owens.
- Me?
- Shocker.
Even though we broke up,
I still appreciate his integrity
and I would love to see
him lead this house.
Thanks, Grant.
[Evan] Uh, great.
Any other nominations?
All right, campaign
season will commence
after Spring Break for
Sutcliffe versus Owens.
Meeting adjourned.
So that was pretty
cool of Grant, huh?
Yeah, I'm glad to see you
guys are staying friends.
I'm not sure he did you a favor,
though. - What do you mean?
You know what I've been through
with this house, these guys.
How much of a jerk I've had to be.
I'm just no sure this is a
job you're wired to handle.
Or even really want.
[Dana] Wow, I've never been
to Myrtle Beach before.
It's so great.
There's this club, Paradox.
Are they gonna stamp our hands or
give us one of those wristband things?
Oh, I couldn't get in.
But the beach is so great.
Provided you wear sun block,
which I didn't.
Sounds... dangerous.
Well, the truth is, I was
actually only there for one night.
I ended up coming back
with Calvin and Dale.
See, Calvin and I were kind of in a fight
because of the feud between our houses.
Your houses sure fight a lot.
Well, this spring break's
going to be different, right?
There are a few things
I have to do for KT
while I'm there,
but outside of that,
it's gonna be all Dana-Rusty,
all the time.
I can't wait. I was lucky to
get a room so last minute.
Well... I know we've only been
going out a couple of weeks.
And the way the economy is...
We could share a room.
To save money.
Only if you want!
Because of the economy.
And stuff.
Um, I wouldn't mind...
saving a little money.
That's great! 'Cause the
economy sucks, so...
- ...we can be frugal. Together.
- [chuckling]
Yes, sir. I completely see
the irony of asking you
to do something illegal
regarding admissions to a school
that teaches the law,
but if I did get into CRU Law,
could you just, like,
cough or sniff or something?
One cough yes,
two coughs no? Hello?
[groans] Stupid laws.
I have some good news.
I just got off the phone with Nationals
and next year they're
requiring all houses employ
- a full-time house mother.
- How's that good news?
Well, I meant for us,
'cause we're graduating.
- Mmm-hmm.
- I wish I was graduating.
Trust me, little sis, you don't.
[sighs] Oh, Abby...
Where are we on Casey's
surprise birthday party?
We're set! I reserved a
section at Tijuana Tony's.
Big banner, lots of balloons,
pink ones.
And make sure they have a
lemon drop waiting for her.
- Then keep them coming.
- Right!
What? Casey's as predictable
as a Katherine Heigl movie.
So what's all this graduation talk?
Just the thought of going
to spring break single?
It's kinda sad.
And kinda my second year doing it.
Sorry.
No, don't be. We can find
fun new guys together!
I'm kinda missing my lame old one.
OK, we need to shake
this Evan Chambers thing.
You know what we could do?
We could take a
vacation from ourselves.
Can we go somewhere
better than Myrtle Beach?
No, but we can lie
about who we are.
I used to do it all the
time on family vacations.
On one trip to San Francisco,
I told this waiter I was
a teen prodigy in town
to play the cello for
Tony Blair and Oprah.
And I got free dessert.
It was awesome.
Trust me.
Hey, you heading back down
to Sin in the Sand Land?
Yeah. I thought you were
going turkey-hunting again.
I thought I'd do something a little
different. Maybe hang out by the pool, get
some sun.
It's too bad you don't want
to go to Sin in the Sand Land.
I wouldn't say no.
You just called it "
Sin in the Sand Land."
Why would you want to go?
For the sand. If I were invited.
Well, my room is
going to be occupied.
But I do know someone else
who has an extra room.
- I can call her and see if...
- Is that an invitation?
Dale, do you want to go to
Myrtle Beach with me and Dana?
- Dana's going?
- I'm sure she won't mind.
No, I just find her really grating.
Let me think about it.
All right, yeah,
I'll pack my floaties.
[rock music plays]
* Show me the sun *
Hey! You're wasting valuable
party time, Case! Let's go!
Hold on, guys. Hi, um... Hi.
Do you have any mail
for Casey Cartwright?
I'm her. I mean, I'm she.
She's me. I'm me. Hi.
Hi. I can't deliver
mail to strangers.
You're going to have to wait
until I get to your house.
This might be my last spring break.
With my boyfriend.
Because we're going down
two different life paths.
Unless I get into CRU Law School.
Law school? So you
know it's illegal...
Yeah, irony, got it.
Regardless, if I get into CRU,
that'd buy us a few more years.
If I don't, then have to accept
that this is a college thing,
and we'll have to go
our separate ways.
- I deliver mail for a living.
- I'll pay you.
Also illegal. You know what?
Never mind, here.
I'll give you a trick of the trade.
You can tell whether you
were accepted or not
by the size of the envelope.
- Oh, CRU Law, right? Sorry.
- Thanks.
* 'Cause there's no guarantee *
* When you're ready to
say goodbye *
* Are you ready to go... *
[bus engine turning over]
- Oh, so... anything from CRU?
- Just this underwear catalog.
- Oh, can I have it?
- We've talked about this, Beav.
Casey Cartwright,
this is gonna be a spring break
- you'll never forget.
- I think so.
- [engine starts]
- [cheering]
* Young scholars young lovers *
Wow, it's as God-awful
as I'd imagined.
You know, Dale, I really wish
I hadn't cancelled that room.
Oh, I don't mind
staying with you two.
Hmm. There's gotta be a
Hide-A-Bed or something.
Where's it hiding?
Sorry, Dana.
It's OK. I just thought
we were gonna...
...save a little money.
We are. We're doing
this three ways, right?
No! Not in the way you're thinking.
But there can still
be some savings.
We can save some money elsewhere.
I brought coupons,
for your pleasure.
Stone Phillips says a black
light is the best way
to check for residual...
protein matter.
- Oh!
- There it is.
Looks like someone saved
money all over the room.
On the phone?
- I call the floor.
- Guess we get the bed.
Did you guys see the
hot tub out back?
This place is better than the
house on Jersey Shore.
And with fewer
hair-gelled fame-whores.
Yeah. I can't believe we
lucked out with this place.
I can't believe the KTs
lucked into this place.
Hey. What the hell
are you doing here?
This is my boss's house.
Uh, I think there's
been a misunderstanding.
No, freakin' kidding!
This is our house, actually.
We rented it for the week.
No, these guys we know rented it.
What are you, stupid or something?
You got exactly ten seconds
to get off this property.
Or what?
Oh! OK. Um, sir,
we apologize to you.
And we don't want any trouble
so we will be leaving now.
Take these items, please,
as a gift, and uh...
Sorry.
It's a set-up. Kappa Taus wanted
us to win that tournament.
- Well, now we're homeless.
- Guess we kinda had it coming.
Had it coming? Let's serve it back.
Let's find a place
to stay first, Trip.
Phase two is complete.
[dance music playing]
So that's it. I guess I'm leaving
Cyprus and leaving Cappie.
I'm sorry.
But I thought you'd
accepted your relationship
with Cappie would end
after graduation.
I did, but that's when
everything was... theoretical.
- And now it's retical.
- Exactly. I'm gonna be 22!
Do you know who's 22? Old people.
But do old people
bungee jump? [giggles]
Come on, it's our last spring break
and I'm not going to let you
angst your way through it.
- I am gonna miss you, though.
- I'm gonna miss you, too!
[both laughing]
How could I not have
gotten into CRU?
I mean, that was my safety school!
GW Law was sort of a long shot.
You got into law school?
Congrats! I went to Georgetown.
Really? Any advice?
Yeah, it's, uh... It's really hard.
Don't flunk out.
Who wants shots from
the Margarito Bandito?
[all cheering]
- You want a shot?
- Uh, God, yes! Please!
- Here, here, here!
- [laughing]
- OK...
- [yelling]
[laughing]
Wow, my first fake ID.
I can't believe it worked.
Thank you, "Chad Stewart."
Don't thank me, "Penelope Holmes."
Thank Kappa Tau.
What's the matter, Francis Domingo?
[rap music plays]
Well, I might try the bar. Um...
What should get?
"Sex on the Beach.
Sex in the Water.
Sex Wading in the Water but
Planning to Come Back to the Beach."
What do you think, Rusty?
Just get anything you want.
You know, with drink
names like that,
they're practically promoting
unwanted pregnancies.
You won't have to worry about that.
You won't have to worry about that.
- Now that I'm sharing the room.
- Thanks, Francis.
Thank you.
Hey, I'm Taylor.
I'm a dancer from
Portland who loves pugs,
moody floral prints and the
music of Muse. And you are?
- Julia.
- OK, well that's a start.
So who are Julia and
Taylor going to meet first?
I think you got one, Taylor.
I'm gonna go in for a closer look.
Hi! I'm Taylor.
I'm a dancer from Portland.
I love your top.
It seems leopard print's
really making a comeback.
OK... thanks.
You know, I have this friend who
just broke up with his boyfriend.
- I could call him.
- Ooh.
Um, hi?
Sorry, cutie.
This is just business.
We come down here every
year to observe trends,
check out the young people.
I like your look.
I'm Faith Flowers.
Well, Faith Flowers,
let me be clear.
I'm not interested in porn,
or lifting my top or
making out with a girl.
Shame on you.
Was that Faith Flowers?
I didn't know you watched porn.
No, Faith Flowers is
a trend forecaster.
My father hired her as a
consultant back in the day.
Companies pay her to tell them
what the latest trends are.
Wait, that's a real job?
I'd be so good at that!
It's like being cool and psychic!
Do something about it.
What? Just go up to her
and beg her for a job?
- She's right there...
- Oh, no! She was right there.
It's like she's magic.
No. She's the Fairy Job Mother.
OK, look, we already
have a hotel, all right?
So let's put everything
behind us and have some fun.
Hi, guys. How's the house?
We sure are pissed
we lost it. [groans]
Yeah. That house belongs to
someone else. Someone armed.
And since it's spring break,
now we're stuck in a crap hotel.
- Sorry to hear about that, Cal.
- Thanks, Heath.
Heath meant that sarcastically,
by the way.
When you guys are trying to
sleep in your crappy hotel,
I hope you dream of Jeremy,
Ferret and Wade.
Aw, you're still
whining about that?
For the last time, we didn't
mean for them to get expelled.
Then I didn't mean to sleep
with your girlfriend, Bing.
- Oh, wait, yes I did.
- Ooh!
Everyone remember
what Nationals said.
All right, hey, hey...
Happy spring break, Evan Pompeo!
Of Grey's Anatomy fame!
Abby! How's your first
college spring break so far?
I never want to leave!
I heard about GW,
that's so exciting!
- Yeah, really exciting.
- Where are you going to live?
I haven't thought about it.
Are you going to get a roommate?
I'm not sure.
- Do you even know anyone there?
- No.
You're probably not going to have
a whole lot of time to socialize.
I bet law school is super hard.
Are you ready for it?
You know what, Abby? Um,
I don't know.
I'm not even 100
percent sure I'm going.
I mean, I could just stay
in Cyprus for another year.
Maybe take that
housemother job at ZBZ.
You should totally stay!
Yeah...
Right?
My parents say hi.
They can't sleep at night
knowing I'm down here.
Their only comfort is knowing
I'm below the Mason-Dixon line.
So what should we do today?
I was thinking you could
do your own thing today.
But I'm not sure how
much fun I can have alone
on a plantation tour.
Why don't you guys come with me?
Dana and I had kinda had
some romantic time planned.
What's more romantic than taking
in the architectural detail
of two-century-old
slaves' quarters?
I read online that girls love them.
Listen, I appreciate you coming
all this way to spend spring break
because you wanted to
spend time with me...
I didn't come for you.
Do you think I enjoy
being your third wheel!?
Then why are you here?
Forget it, have fun
with your girlfriend.
- Is Francis OK?
- I have no idea.
You know, we're alone.
Do you want to save some money?
Oh!
Crap! I've got this
KT stuff I gotta do.
It's Phase Three,
but I'll be right back.
I will wait here.
- [muffled vomiting]
- Or I'll go to the beach.
Uh, Casey, wake up.
Wake up, Casey,
hurry! Hurry, wake up!
Casey... Aww!
- Happy birthday!
- Oh...
That's so nice.
Oh, ow! Oh, my gosh,
I am so hung over.
Yeah.
- How are you not?
- Practice.
You were the life of the
party last night. - [groaning]
I think, at one point,
you put a lamp shade on your head.
- You were so cute and cliche.
- It was fun.
Thanks for the... cruller.
Um, I actually had
something else...
I didn't get into CRU.
Oh.
Oh, I'm sorry, Case.
But, I've been thinking. About us.
And my life in Cyprus
and the sorority.
And I have decided... to stay.
I can defer GW for a year.
Maybe even two.
You're not still drunk, are you?
I've even been thinking about
taking up the house
mother position at ZBZ.
I love my life at ZBZ,
and I love you.
Why would I leave?
Yay!
So, do you know what I
feel like doing right now?
Oh, I hope so.
Stop it. I'm gonna
get some clothes on.
- Let's go.
- OK.
[Ashleigh] Well, nothing on
the Fairy Job Mother so far.
How are you doing on
boy patrol, "Julia?"
[Rebecca] None so far.
Ugh! You're on vacation from
yourself! Look for boys.
I can't vacate. I miss Evan, OK?
[sighs] So are you going
to do something about it?
Right. Just pour my heart out and
plead for him to take me back.
He's right over there.
Just open up myself to him and
possibly have him shut me down?
You and I have had
our set of issues.
If I can forgive you,
maybe he can too.
Can you give me a minute?
Guys? I'll meet up with you.
- [laughs nervously] Hi.
- Hi.
Wow, um... Here's the thing.
I'm just gonna get to the point.
I screwed up... big time.
I hurt you. And I'm sorry for that.
I still care about you.
A lot, actually.
And I miss you.
And I would appreciate
a second chance.
I can't.
I appreciate your apology, Rebecca.
And I can forgive, but I'm
honestly not sure I can forget.
Or if I even really want to.
I'm still pissed.
I'm sorry.
So then...
...there it is.
Wow. You can see a lot up here.
You can practically see forever.
- Speaking of forever...
- [whimpering]
- Case...
- [gasping]
If you're gonna puke I'd
throw it more that direction.
I think I see some
Omega Chis down there.
I'm... I'm OK,
um... Why don't you go first?
I thought you wanted to do this.
Are you scared?
I'm not scared. It's just...
- What if the cord breaks?
- That never happens. Does it?
- Nah.
- Nah, never happens.
OK, well, what if it's calibrated
wrong and I hit the ground
and I bounce back up
and hit the platform
and then I hit the ground again?
Seems a little Wile E Coyote.
There's some basis in
real physics there.
I think that's just the
fear talking, Case.
So what if it is fear?
Fear's natural.
It's good. It keeps you
from making mistakes.
Doing things that
you're not ready for.
Not when it keeps you
from living your life.
- Having fun.
- I just don't want to do it.
So I'm going to crawl back down.
I'll see you on the ground.
Not if I see you first.
[whooping]
So, I ran into Rebecca earlier.
She apologized.
- Wanted to get back together.
- And?
I said no. I mean, are you kidding?
You know you still like her, Evan.
Why don't you give
her another chance?
Because then if I get burned again,
I'm the fool.
No thank you.
See, Cal, you're too nice.
Uh, guys What the hell?
Is that the guy from the house?
And isn't that your little
KT buddy paying him, Owens?
- Buying some guns, Cartwright?
- Who? What?
That guy? I've never
seen that guy before.
You hired that guy to kick
us out of that beach house.
Joke's over. You got me.
- I must be going now.
- Hey, hey...
No problems.
So, if that wasn't his house,
who's staying there now?
- Uh... nobody?
- Nobody? All right.
Then we're taking back our house.
OK, all right! Everybody listen up!
We should toast the Omega Chis
for making this spring
break memorable.
- Cheers!
- [all cheering]
Uh, Spitter. We said you could
invite one friend from school.
Cap, I'm sorry,
they caught me paying off Roy.
Listen, we're taking back this house.
We won it fair and square. So get out.
We're not leaving, Chambers.
You lied to me.
You got three of our
brothers expelled.
Leave us the house,
we'll call it even. - No way, Cap.
If you want us gone,
then you're going to have to kill us.
"Kill"? What am I
walking into here, boys?
Officer. Everything's fine.
We're gonna turn the music down.
And, uh... these guys
were just leaving.
- Who's house is this?
- It's ours.
Yep. It's theirs.
You heard the man.
We were just leaving.
Come on, KTs! Let's go!
[donkey braying]
Cheese and crackers!
Is this your donkey, too?
No, we've never seen that before.
What else here isn't yours?
Hey, who ordered the fat,
ugly strippers? - Dale?
- What happened to the party?
- That's not ours either.
Have you been drinking?
How old are you, son?
- I am 21, you jackass.
- [donkey braying]
I got a card to prove it.
And that's Senor Domingo to you, jefe.
Yeah, uh, that's right.
You just look so young, Francis.
Let's get you outta here.
I'm shutting this party down!
Everyone go home!
Except for you guys. It's your place.
I need to see your IDs.
Officer, listen...
The fact is we just arrived.
Any illegal activity has
nothing to do with us.
And we're in a fraternity.
If we get in any trouble like this,
we could lose our charter.
Should've thought of that before
you involved that innocent donkey.
All right, Cap.
Come on, man, we could
lose our house. For real.
Well, that's not what
we intended but, uh...
Seems fitting, don't you think?
- Hey, are you OK?
- What? Oh, yeah. Hi.
- Do you want some company?
- Um... Why not?
I guess I've already lost...
Faith? Faith Flowers!
Hi, It's... It's me! Ash... Taylor.
Ashed Aylor? What a delicious name.
Thank you! You can call
me Ashleigh for short.
I just wanted to say I'm really
sorry about the porn thing.
- What are you talking about?
- I'm the...
...someone you don't know.
But you should.
Um, I'm graduating from
CRU in about a month.
I've interview for jobs ranging from
the assistant to the regional manager
of blah, blah, blah to the junior
exec to the head of "Who Cares."
I don't love any of that.
So I started to accept
that I was gonna get a job I didn't love
because that's what people do, right?
Until I met you.
Look at this dress.
I made it out of a couple of really
old T-shirts and dresses I had,
because, one, I'm in
college and poor, and, two,
I didn't want to throw them out
and have them sit in a landfill.
So deconstructed fashion, right?
It's totally on the rise
because of the economy,
and because of how green everyone's getting.
And I love realizing that.
I love being able to imagine
what the next thing will be,
not just in fashion,
but in everything.
And the idea of being able to do that,
what I love, and get paid?
That probably has to be the most
amazing thing anyone can do, right?
So I guess, what I'm trying to say,
Fairy Job Mother,
- is that I love you.
- I beg your pardon?
I mean, I love what you do.
And I would love to do what you do.
Or learn from you.
Or get you coffee or whatever.
So... what do you say?
Did you guys witness any
activity with the donkey?
Do something, Chambers.
They're going to shut our house down.
What the hell do you
expect me to do, Trip?
They caught us with
a freakin' donkey.
Some president.
Uh, officer?
Uh, hey, Trip,
why don't you let it alone?
At least he's doing something.
Officer Nixon, we'd be happy
to make a sizable donation
to your department if you were to look
the other way on this whole thing.
Bribery, too?
Against the wall, Big Red!
You boys are screwed.
Um... Officer Nixon?
Hi, uh, can we talk in private?
[indistinct murmuring]
I hope he doesn't screw this up.
After Trip,
it can't get much worse.
We're going to lose our
charter, aren't we?
Thank you. Thank you so much.
All right, guys. We're good here.
Let's go get some pancakes.
- What the hell did you do?
- I handled it. So let's get
our stuff back in here and
resume our spring break!
- [all cheering]
- Dude, you got my vote, Owens.
Way to go, little bro.
Maybe you do have what it takes
to become president of Omega Chi.
Yeah, well, I learned from
the best. - Thanks, man.
You've shown me how loyal
and generous someone can be.
But you've also shown me how pride
can really threaten to ruin a guy.
It's not your family or your money,
Evan. It's your pride.
You're gonna lose
Rebecca because of that.
- [knocking on door]
- Hey.
- Hey.
- What are you doing?
I am getting ready for my
surprise birthday party.
- How about you?
- Did Abby tell you?
It's a sorority, Ash. Not the CIA.
OK, good, because I have a
secret that I can't keep!
I... got a job!
It's not a job-job,
more of an unpaid internship
with this woman, Faith Flowers.
She's a trend forecaster.
What? That's perfect for you.
I know! I'm going to New York!
[both giggling]
Oh, my God!
It's really happening.
Aren't you a little freaked out?
No. I'm ready.
Case, when I started CRU,
I thought I'd just get a degree,
maybe get married.
I never really thought I
wanted that much for myself.
But then I met you,
and because of you and
because of our friendship...
...I've come to want more for myself
than I ever could've imagined.
You always go after what you want,
and I'll never forget that.
You're my best friend
and you always will be.
Even if I'm in New York
and you stay in Cyprus.
Wait, you knew?
Yeah, it's a sorority. Not the CIA.
Maybe I'm not as strong
as you think I am.
Yes, you are.
Maybe you've just taken a
vacation from yourself.
Oh, spinning! Stop the spinning!
I'm so sorry. This is not
what I wanted it to be for us.
It's OK. We can save
money back in Cyprus.
Just say sex. Good lord,
I'm from the South, not France.
Dale, where were you all day?
This is your fault!
You're like weed.
You're my gateway,
Rusty Cartwright!
My fault? I didn't get you wasted.
Why'd you really want to come here?
[Dale] Well, not for the sand, OK?
I wanted a girl.
And not a landlady.
Or some sorority girl that's
too insecure to stick by me.
I wanted to have a real college
experience like you did.
And have fun.
'Cause I only got two
years left to do it.
Should we go get him some coffee,
or something?
You look like Aliens vs.
Predator, but all in one human form.
[knocking on door]
- I need you.
- I need you, Casey.
What's up?
Uh6.. I got into law
school in Washington.
That's great!
It's not, because I'm not going.
I now see why Cappie
doesn't want to graduate.
What if I'm not ready,
Rusty? What if I fail?
You're ready. There are bigger
things out there for you now.
I'll be alone.
Casey, remember when
I first came to CRU?
I was terrified. I was lonely.
I didn't have a world.
But if I had never came here,
I never would've
joined a fraternity.
Met Cappie and all those guys.
Calvin and Dale.
I never would've had the relationship
that I have with you now.
Now I have a whole universe.
Did you ever read Peter Pan?
No. See? I've never even
read Peter Pan!
I have no business leaving school.
- I have to stay.
- The first line of Peter Pan
is "All children,
except one, grow up."
Wendy knew that at two years old.
You're learning it at 22.
Everyone has to grow up.
Nobody's Peter Pan.
Not even Cappie.
Dale just threw up.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Oh, Dana. This is my sister, Casey.
I didn't know you have a sister.
Oh, my God, you should've seen your face!
You were so surprised.
I... Yes, I was. Thanks, Abby.
OK, there are a lot of
really cute guys here.
You're still on vacation.
Not sure my vacation
worked out, Ash.
So I'm calling it a night.
Despite Dale's vomit,
I'm really enjoying Myrtle Beach.
Uh-oh, here comes Calvin.
No fighting, OK? We need
some BattleBots or something.
- So?
- Phase four is complete.
Even Trip said he'd vote for me.
Then may Iongratulate the
future president of Omega Chi.
What? - As president,
I think my first order of business will be
to declare a truce between
Kappa Tau and Omega Chi.
Wait, what? It was all a joke?
A series of phases, to be exact,
concocted by our Revenge Chair.
The entire plot was brought to you
by the brotherhood of Kappa Tau.
The mob guy was actually Brother
Rubik's Cube, Class of '85.
The Myrtle Beach cops were Brothers Pez,
Paisley, Tricky Dick and Disco Dan.
All KT Brothers from the University
of South Carolina, class of '79.
- Brothers for life.
- Mmm-hmm.
What are you gonna do now that you don't
have Omega Chi to kick around anymore?
Enjoy life? - [Cappie] I don't know,
I saw Lambda Sig
looking at me funny last week.
I didn't care for that.
I'm gonna get to the
bottom of it. - Hey...
- How about we go on that walk now?
- Oh, OK. Yeah.
- Sure.
- Beav...
Rebecca! Wait, wait, listen!
I'm... [exhales]
- You're what?
- I'm not the good guy.
I don't always do the
right thing all the time.
And I'm always blaming
my parents or the money.
But the only person
to blame is myself.
I let my pride get in the way,
d I don't want to lose you.
You can forget what a mess I am?
You cheated on me because
you don't believe
you deserve happiness, but you do.
I do. And we can
find that together.
I'd like to try.
So, uh, I've been waiting
for the perfect moment
to give you something, and, um...
Well, I think now's
as good a time as any.
Oh? What is it?
I want you to wear my lavaliere.
I love you, Casey.
I love you, too.
You're not as excited
as I thought you'd be.
Is it because of where it's been?
What? No, it's just, um...
I didn't bungee jump today
because I was scared.
And if I stay in Cyprus,
I'd be staying because I'm scared.
You're going to Washington,
aren't you?
I have to do what's best for me,
and that's law school.
Don't you want me
to go and succeed?
I do. I guess I'm being selfish
because I know that means
I'm gonna lose you.
Cap, you can come with me!
To Washington!
- You could transfer...
- I'm not sure I can leave.
And I can't stay.
But, Cap, I totally understand
why you're scared to go.
- I'm not scared.
- That's OK.
Leaving something
can be terrifying...
Is that what you're doing?
Are you leaving me behind?
No, I want us to move
forward, together!
I don't want to move forward!
Because you don't want to grow up!
Then what other choice do we have?
We are two different people
who love each other very much.
It seems like the only
place where our differences
don't matter is in college.
Maybe this is just one of those
college relationships, huh?
If it is, it's the
best one of all time.
Look, let's just finish the
year out together, and...
No, screw it.
You know what? Why wait?
If you don't have more
faith in us than that?
- Then we should break up now.
- No, I don't want to.
Well, too late.
It's done. All right?
I can't believe I was gonna
give this to you tonight.
I would've felt pretty college
doing something like that.
Cappie, please... Cappie...
Cappie...