Greek (2007–2011): Season 3, Episode 15 - Love, Actually, Possibly, Maybe... Or Not - full transcript

Previously on Greek:

I know who started the fire.
I did. But it was an accident.

- Maybe someday you'll forgive me.
- For burning down my house?

The all-Greek softbalt
tournament is this weekend

Since we're partnering
with a fraternity,

I'm ready to meet a fun new guy.

- Who is the lucky girl?
- Uh, Rebecca.

We can go for a coffee
or a movie or something simple.

Who knows, maybe after coffee
it'll be love at first sight.

You're Casey Cartwright.
You can do anything you want.

That's how I know you're gonna
go to Washington and be amazing.



- What about...
- Graduation?

You'll never leave here.

I don't think I can be anywhere
that didn't have you.

So how did we get here,
my peeps?

How did
Saint Valentine's beheading

lead to some whacked
holiday about love?

A-How.

Chaucer.

- Joshuurr?
- For reals.

According to Chaucer,

Valentine wrote a love-letter,
signed "From your Valentine,"

that the greeting card
companies have turned into

a billion-dollar-a-year
industry.

Cards for grandpas,



for dogs, there are even cards
for people who don't buy cards.

Probably because
they're too cheap.

David... But I digress.
We'll pick this up next week.

Don't believe the hype.

Professor Clarissa sure
has it in for Valentine's Day.

Why can't she celebrate
with her friends?

That's what
I'm gonna do.

- How do you know her fries?
- I mean my friends.

It's still
a great holiday

even though I've never
actually celebrated with a girl

- besides my mom.
- Well, that's the spirit.

So who's the lucky...

...friends. Your brothers?

No, they all have dates to our
"Shot through the heart" party.

Mmm...

And Calvin has Grant.
Cappie and Casey.

- Dale?
- No.

He's taking
that retainer girl

to a party his church
is hosting.

The theme is "Celibate
good times, c'mon".

- Which leaves me one friend...
- Oh, thank God.

'Cause being alone on
Valentine's Day would suck.

Oh. Um...

I am going

to the Omega Chi Date Dance
with this guy, Pete.

We've only been dating,
like, two weeks, but,

he hasn't shown any
Fisher-like behavior, so...

- Sorry.
- It's OK.

Because this year, no
matter what anyone says,

I'm going to have the best
Valen-time ever.

Wow!

Nice.

The Cupid Range is
a good start, pledges,

but I want to see a lot
of foofy decorations

to get our dates in the mood.
Lacy hearts and other crap.

And a keg of
premium beer, too.

- Got it.
- Fancy.

- Is this the KT house?
- It's Valentine's Day.

And since it's our first
one since freshman year,

I thought I could get
you something special.

- Like you did freshman year?
- Exactly.

What happened?

Your gift to me
was a bottle of vodka.

Which you drank and
promptly puked up. Remember?

Actually, I don't remember
anything from that night,

I'll take your word for it.

I just don't want
a repeat of freshman year.

Then I will humbly
request a do-over,

because I'm going to get
you the greatest gift ever.

That's OK, Cap.

You're just not a,
you know,

box of chocolates
and roses kind of guy.

- Like Evan?
- Not just Evan.

You're saying I'm your
worst boyfriend ever?

- That's not what I meant.
- Yes, it is.

But you're thinking of
old drunk vodka Cappie.

Not the new and improved Cappie
with V-Day Kung Fu grip.

OK, well, what's the new
action figure Cappie do?

He gets you the most romantic
gift of your entire life,

and then dances on the graves
of Valentines past.

OK then,
Kung Fu-Valentine-Cappie...

I guess everyone
deserves a second shot.

Yeah. Good shot.

Grant? What's going on?

Nothing, just give
me a minute.

What... the hell?

You're not
supposed to be home yet.

My class
was canceled.

I didn't mean
to walk in on this.

I'm bleaching my hair
for our date party.

Something I've always wanted
to do ever since I came out.

The strip's for the pores...
And, uh...

The trays are
for teeth whitening...

And the newspaper? Wait,
I don't really want to know.

I'm shaving my chest
and my neck.

And a little bit off
the top of my feet.

Good to know, Frodo.

I can't do this in
the communal bathroom.

It's way too embarrassing.

So... We don't have
separate rooms, and...

No, I get it. I'm just gonna
let you get some priva...

Now, there are only 60

Valen-Titan Bears left for our
Children's Hospital fundraiser,

so I want us all to work very hard
to find these little guys a home, OK?

No one wants to be alone on
Valentine's Day, right, Mr. Teddy?

Lastly, if any of you do not
have Valentine's Day plans,

you are welcome to join me

for single ladies' chocolate
fondue in Pierson's Hall.

Anyone?

OK.

Dismissed.

Hi, Katherine.

- Yes, ZBZ?
- Yes, hi. So, I was thinking

I could volunteer to sell the rest
of the Valen-Titan Bears myself.

- To help you out?
- That won't be necessary.

- But you just said we...
- No. I've got it. Thank you.

Oh. Are those from Pete?

I'm only supposed to serve food,

not pick up deliveries
from your would-be paramours.

That's right,
run to it, you succubae.

So who's the most
loved this year?

You are, of course.

By Cappie.

- He told me a...
- OK.

Hey, Ash.

I just came from a Panhel
meeting with Katherine.

She still hates me,
made worse by the fact

that she's spending
Valentine's Day alone.

Which is why I have
to find her a date.

No, you don't.

What if you set her up
on a bad date?

- Beaver, anyone?
- We burned down her house,

it couldn't get much worse. But
if I find her an awesome guy,

then she will totally appreciate
me and we can be friends again.

So who do we know,
who do we know?

That's not taken?

No one.

Oh, wait! Wait...

- Rusty does not have a date.
- I think he's OK with it.

Mom sends him
conversation hearts though.

- Who else?
- No, think about it.

Katherine and Rusty
are both Greeks.

They are both
smart and awkward.

Maybe their shared oddness
could cancel each other out.

Yay.

I haven't even agreed
with you yet.

No.
It's my invite from Pete.

"You caught my eye."
Aw! Get it?

Because we met at
the Greek softball game.

It's a good thing he's rich
because that's lame.

Oh, and here comes Evan.

- I wonder what he got you.
- Hey.

It's a little buddy.

And he wants to know if you'll
go to our date party with me.

Please tell me
you're kidding.

Yes on the bear.
No on the party.

Valentine's Day? Really?
A day to celebrate love

with meaningless cheap candy
and trinkets made in China?

Excuse me, the bear
is made in Chile.

And it's a party. It'll be
fun, we can make fun of people.

I do like
making fun of people.

- What time should I pick you up?
- I'll think about it.

Having an all-access pass to your
boyfriend's life this soon kinda kills the magic.

It's like for straight guys
when Megan Fox speaks.

Are we becoming one of
those gay married couples

that host dinner parties
and watch Bravo?

Alright.
What's going on, Rus?

I've decided to find a date for Valentine's
Day, I'm looking for a girl to ask out.

Now? It's in two days.

I've had years of
Valentine's Day loneliness.

No. Look, the expectation
will kill you.

It's bad enough I have to have my first out
date party with Grant on Valentine's Day.

The last thing you want is to surround
yourself with a bunch of people in love.

It's better
than being alone.

Here goes.

Hi, you don't know me,
but I'm Rusty.

- Hi, Rusty. Tabitha.
- Nice to meet you, Tabitha.

Um, I hope I'm not
being too forward,

but my fraternity's having
this date party on Saturday...

You're asking me on a first
date on Valentine's Day?

Well, I saw you...

I thought you were pretty...

And uh... This is for you.

"Lick my..."
Oh, my God!

Perv.

My mom must've accidentally
bought me the X-rated brand.

Or the box was
meant for your dad.

Traumatic, either way.

Well, I gotta say,
much points for the gift.

Well, I gotta say I'm excited
to have you as my date.

Well, I'm excited to be had.
As your date.

Hey, guys.

So, Pete, the Omega Chi
Date Party is this Saturday.

- Why haven't I heard from you?
- Because I'm taking Ashleigh.

- But you said we were going.
- You did?

We talked about that,
when we dated last month.

But I assumed you understood we weren't going
out on Valentine's Day after we broke up.

We broke up?

- This is how you tell me?
- Yeah, I figured when I said,

"I think we should
see other people,"

- that you got that.
- Well, I do now, Pete,

because I don't date cheaters.

I can't believe she just
called me a cheater.

Yeah. Neither can I.

Taken, married,
incarcerated...

No. I'm sorry you can't make it.
Good luck with the surgery.

A C-Section? How old
are these phone numbers?

Well, hopefully older
than nine months.

Have we gone through
all the phones?

Except for Pickle's.
He knows a lot of girls

from the 900 area code.

I should have listened
to my professor,

who was smart enough to realize
that Valentine's Day sucks.

I get it, Rus.
There's a lot of expectations.

Like finding the perfect gift.

You think Casey would
like a used cell phone?

You know what...
Forget it.

Why should I care that I'm alone
on February 14th?

Because society and the greeting
card industry tell me not to be?

Are you saying that because
you don't have a date?

I mean it. I'm over it.
I'm over the hype.

I'm finally free.

Hey, Rus.

- Hi.
- Hey.

Ash told me about your problem,

and I think I found you
a date for your party.

My friend Katherine
is available,

and you were the
first person I thought of.

So what do you say?

I think you're too late,
because he just said...

No, I'm in.
I love Valentine's Day.

- Yay!
- What?

What's Katherine like? I'm
not being judgmental, but...

Down, boy.
You're going to find out.

Katherine wants to set up a
pre-date tonight at Dobler's.

- A pre-date?
- Don't worry.

Casey and I'll be there
in case you screw up.

- Her words, not mine.
- So, Katherine...

She was at Greek softball.
She's tall, she's pretty.

- Oh, that's good.
- Let me finish.

Stern. The word
"Nordic" comes to mind.

I think I can handle that.

I hope she's easier
than your sister.

Try pleasing her.
Rewind.

Try finding
the perfect gift for her.

Get her something
from the heart.

It's just about
the two of you.

Imagine Casey, imagine the perfect
gift and then make it happen.

Nice. That's the Spitter I want
to see at Dobler's tonight.

So... What does one wear
to a KT Valentine's party?

Same thing you wear
to any other party.

They're not cavemen.
All of them.

Well, I can tell you
what I wore

when I went with Cappie.

- Think tiny and wicked.
- Seems like it would fit you.

So, why are you
buying a dress?

I thought you were
anti-Valentine's.

I agreed to go to
Evan's date party.

He got me with his
big puppy dog eyes.

He does that.

Why am I even buying a dress?

My date's probably just
another Fisher in worsted wool.

Don't let Natalie the angry inch
spoil your next date with Pete.

But she totally got in my head.

It's like
I'm dating Eddie Cibrian.

But am I LeAnn Rimes
or his wife?

No. Natalie is a deceptive
little trickster.

Need I remind you of the
electric bill debacle?

You're probably still
sensitive over Fisher.

- Because you made out with him?
- What's your point?

You're right.
Pete deserves a first chance.

Hey, Case, I bet you're getting
lingerie for Valentine's Day.

OK, I get it.
You guys used to date.

- Ha-ha.
- No, look.

- Hi, Cap.
- Hey! Case.

- Wha... Hey!
- Hi.

Don't you love
this place?

Nice try. Lingerie is more
of a gift for you than for me.

What? It's for Beaver.

Because... Beaver
likes to feel pretty.

And since you're not having
to buy a gift for anybody,

maybe you shouldn't talk.
'Cause it's not easy

finding the perfect gift.

Oh, please.
How hard could it be?

Well, let's find out.
You versus me,

to see who can get the other
the most romantic gift.

Unless you're too scared I'll
outromanticize you or something.

The only thing
I'm scared for is you.

- Game on.
- If you think this is a game

you've already lost.
See you tonight.

- Not if I see you first.
- Oh!

- Oh... Porn site crash?
- Uh... Worse, shopping.

I convinced Rebecca to
come to our Valentine's party,

and now I want to show the girl who
claims she doesn't believe in love

how much she means to me.

You're missing
your trust fund.

You know, she's the first girl
that doesn't make me feel

like I'm the evil guy that
everyone else thinks I am.

She gets my background,
and why we are the way we are.

She deserves something special.

Oh, uh, speaking of...

Ah, thanks, man.

- That's really sweet.
- It's for Grant.

Can I stash it here
until the party?

Uh, yeah.
You can't hide it in your room?

The room where
secrets go to die?

No. We see way
too much as is.

I'm already worried that the brothers won't
be OK with us out together at a date party.

I'd say that any problems
they might have had,

you took care of
at the softball game.

So the only problem now is
Grant and I becoming boring.

Great.

Hopefully, that
won't happen to you two.

I doubt it.
Rebecca lives for surprises.

This is it. Success tonight
means my first Valentine.

It's like I'm reliving
first grade through you.

Katherine,

this is my brother, Rusty.

- So excited to meet you.
- Me too.

Would you guys
stand back-to-back?

Just real quick.
I just want to see something.

Anyway...

Rusty here was awarded
an engineering grant.

Katherine is president of Panhellenic
and, quite possibly, America one day.

- Wow. That's great.
- Yes.

- Goals are great.
- Mmm-hmm.

So Casey tells me
you're studying Poli Sci.

I do, yes.

So... Why is Political
Science called "Poli Sci,"

and Polymer Science isn't?

Because, politics isn't
an actual science, right?

Or is it? I don't know.
You tell me.

All I know is, that there
are no beakers in politics...

So are you excited
about Valentine's Day?

Yes.

Speaking of Valentine's Day,

Casey and I are battling to see
who can get who the best gift.

Oh, and today I came up with some
ideas that are gonna blow you away.

Good luck with those ideas, because
I found you the perfect gift today.

- You did?
- Mmm-hmm.

Seriously?

So, Casey tells me
you're a Gamma Psi.

Do you like living in a house?
I mean, did you?

Yes.

Your house was probably
cleaner than ours.

Once, when I was a pledge,

I had to clean what I thought
was a quarter-pound of hair

out of a shower drain,
but it was just this rat...

You guys really
both like to study.

Maybe you could
talk about that.

Yes.

Oh, no!
It didn't go well?

It was the worst pairing since
Drew Barrymore and directing.

I can officially kiss my
friendship with Katherine goodbye.

You still have me.

We won't be at
the same party this year.

- I know.
- And...

...I lied to Cappie about
getting him the perfect gift.

I hope I'm not interrupting.
Laura said, "Head on up, bitch."

No, that's fine.

I was just going to show off
my new dress, anyway.

- It's eclectic.
- Thank you.

I know what this is about...

Yes, we need to discuss
this Rusty incident.

How could you possibly

imagine that we'd have
anything in common?

I just thought...

Why did you think
that we'd get along?

- I'm so, sorr...
- Because we did.

He's so suave.

- Really?
- Yes. And handsome.

Really? You don't
have to be polite.

No. But, really, so...

Give me the deets.
Does Rusty work out?

I think he did... once.

Listen to me, I'm prattling on like
a schoolgirl. But I had so much fun.

- He did too, right?
- How could he not? It's you.

So Valentine's Day is a go.

I'm being selfish, but I can't
think of anything else but tonight

and the connection
that we made.

I am so lucky to have
a friend like you.

I am gonna go prepare. But I
will call you about my wardrobe.

Well...

Hello?

- What's all this?
- Comfort food.

I've accepted my fate
as Valentine's Day washout.

Rus, did you get that
non-stick food I asked for?

- Uh, Dale...
- Sometimes Bridget

eats with her retainer in,

and kissing her is like
eating lunch twice in one day.

Hey, Casey.

How long you been there?

Long enough to taste
my lunch twice.

No, I was just goofin'.

We're not an item.
Bridget's Catholic.

Well, good luck with that.

Oh, that reminds me...
Uh, this is for you.

But don't read it
in front of me.

How...

...could I?

So... Good news.

You can still have a date
to the KT party if you want,

Katherine
totally likes you.

- She thinks you're hot.
- Really?

- That's what I said, too.
- After Dobler's?

At least you'd have
a Valentine this once,

excluding Mom.

At least Mom
can hold a conversation.

I'd rather have
no memories than bad ones

- with one-word-answer girl.
- At least that word was "yes".

A lot of guys would be
happy to hear that.

OK, look Rus, I'm trying
to get back on her good side.

We had a falling out.
Things got...

...heated.
Please?

OK. For one month's
free access to your car.

I get you a date and you
blackmail me? Forget it.

Fine, then you date her.

OK, just pretend
to like her. OK?

Hey, Ash!

Don't you have a little wheel
you should be running in?

I'm sorry
about the other day.

Pete hurt me
really bad, and

I don't want to see
you get hurt, too.

- That's what these boys do.
- Why should I believe a girl

who hooked up with a theater
major to win SongFest?

Just because we're in different houses
doesn't mean we can't be sisters.

As president of the
number one sorority,

I want you, president of the number two
sorority, to know that we can be friends.

And we, at the number
one sorority, want you,

the number two sorority, to know
that I don't believe you.

Pete's called me every day
for the past two weeks.

How do I know this
is the real Pete

and not you assigning his
name to another number?

Natalie?

Hey, it's Pete. Look, sorry
I've been calling you so...

Don't let him hurt you, too.

So this year,
I dug deep down in my heart,

and made Casey
three presents

for us to choose from that
no one else could get her.

Prepare to be amazed.

- Oh... Nice.
- Right?

I raised it
from a young sapling,

which I think will show
Casey my budding maturity.

- Now, when you say "buds"?
- It's not that kind of plant.

Yeah, I don't get it. Next.

OK.

A God's Eye
with ZBZ colors.

'Cause I appreciate
her sorority allegiance.

- And I'm a big kid. Get it?
- I'm just not feeling it, Cap.

I mean, I understand it,
but it doesn't get me here.

OK. All right

A macaroni necklace.

I don't think you're
supposed to cook the macaroni.

God, I must've missed
that week at camp.

- May I?
- Of course. Yeah, Bon appetit.

Great, the party's in
an hour and I have squat.

And now I have
to go get ready. Ugh!

It's good.

So, do you want
to walk down together?

Uh, no. I'm going to get
dressed in the bathroom.

What? Look...

I'm sorry if I've come off
as a jerk lately, it's just...

No, things have been
a little unromantic.

And I want to spice them up.

Evan may have mentioned
your conversation to me.

I want a real date, special.
Maybe a surprise?

Well, I can't wait
to be surprised.

Good.

- You look amazing.
- Uh-huh.

Thanks. Can I see
your cell phone?

- Mine's dead.
- Yeah. Sure.

So, have you talked
to Natalie lately?

Yeah. I've called her
a bunch of times, actually.

A-ha!
Wait, why?

'Cause she has
my history textbook,

and she won't give it back.

Oh. Well, here's
your cell phone back.

For you.

Evan.

It's, uh...

It's way too beautiful.

I feel like I'm gonna turn on the
news and see some dead rich girl.

Nah, I dug the ditch
pretty deep.

I had some money put away.
It's no big deal.

This looks like a big deal.

Well, I saw it

and thought it'd look
really good on you.

Let's try it, shall we?

There you go.

Thank you.

You guys are leaving now?

- Um, have fun.
- You too, Case.

- Hey.
- Oh, hey.

Want to exchange
gifts now?

Uh... I think gifts
are better left

- to the end of the evening.
- Ah.

- If I can find her one by then.
- Where is she?

- Let's get this over with.
- Uh...

- Whoa...
- No kidding.

Stop drooling, Rus.

- Hi. You look amazing.
- You look very dapper yourself.

Moving on?

Looks like the pledges
did me proud.

- I'm nervous.
- Because we're at a KT party?

- No, because of Rusty.
- Really?

You keep saying that.

- How spirited of them.
- Jell-O shot?

Of love?

- OK.
- Thank you.

Pickle.
Who's your date?

I'd like you guys to meet
Mrs. Joanne Fletcher.

How sweet,
he brought his mom.

That's not his mom.

So... you want to
shoot some arrows?

Yes.

I have to admit, I didn't think
you'd want to go to a KT pty.

It didn't seem like you.

- No offense.
- None taken.

I have to admit I didn't think I'd find
a Gary Wyatt Grant winner at KT either.

- It was a little intimidating.
- Really?

Is that why you kept giving me
one-word answers at Dobler's?

It's the quickest way
to get to know someone.

You just let them
do all the talking.

And I liked what I heard.

I was a Boy Scout.

Holy crap.

I made it to the Olympic
trials when I was 11.

There aren't too many

overachieving Greeks
like you here at CRU.

I guess I am
somewhat of an amalgam.

Let me show you.

- Hey!
- Happy, VD.

Hey. What's up?

I feel like I never
see you anymore.

I know. You're all
holed up with Grant all day.

- So, you guys good?
- I think so.

We certainly see
a lot of each other.

Sometimes too much.
But we're working it out.

I get it. The perils
of living under the same roof.

Of course, in my case
it was because Fisher was

CRU's version
of David Letterman.

Hey, guys.

Oh, my God!
You look hot.

Thanks, Ash.
Cal? What do you think?

I think you look...

- ...spicy.
- Right?

I know it's not me,
but I'm kinda diggin' it.

Could be more
where this came from.

I'm gonna get us
some drinks.

Stop it. I know
what you're thinking.

This is like the
same thing as Michael.

Michael would
never wear that.

You asked for a surprise,
and you got it.

So enjoy your spicy hot
out-and-proud man.

Oh, God.
It's Tinker-Hell.

- Hey, Pete.
- Hey there.

Get me a drink.

She's after Pete.

She's like a little
Valentine parasite.

Nice work, Tony Hopkins.

I stole it from
the Lamda Sig house.

All right, here.
Keep the change.

Well, you look confident.

Are you prepared
to lose all control

and attempt to ravage my body
right here on the dance floor?

Well, let's see what you got.

- Ta-da!
- Seriously.

Well, it's tragedy
plus time equals comedy.

It reminds us of our
first time together.

And takes us back to
younger, simpler days.

Yeah, and it takes us
back to the time

you bought me vodka
for Valentine's Day

and drank it
and threw up. On me.

I left that part
out earlier.

But... um...
thanks for the vodka.

It's a callback.
I get it, it's funny.

Gotcha!

Actually, it's,

tragedy plus time
plus you falling for it.

- Oh.
- 'Cause vodka equals

- not my real gift.
- So this is not your real gift?

This? No! Hell no!

I will give you
your real gift...

...later on.

Then I'll give you
your gift later, too.

Great.

Hey, you two.

You can cut the crap, Nat.
I know why Pete called you.

Oh! No, Ash. I just
wanted to apologize.

I went too far
at the Student Union,

and I'm truly, truly sorry.
It's just, um...

The worst thing that
ever has happened to me

happened on Valentine's Day.
Oh, God. It was so horrible.

It was Valentine's Eve.
I was nine years old.

Me and Mom were decorating the tree,
waiting for Dad to come home from work.

A couple hours went by.
Dad still wasn't home.

So Mom called the office
and no answer.

So the police began a search.

And four or five days later...

You tried to light a fire,
and you noticed the smell,

the firemen came and they
pulled out your dead dad.

- Blah, blah, blah...
- Ash.

- Pete.
- That story is from Gremlins.

The only reason you're telling
it is because you are one.

So don't feed her after midnight
or she'll turn uglier.

Ash... Whoa.
Chill out.

Nat, why don't we go
get you some water. OK?

Can I admit something?

This is my first
Valentine's date ever.

It's mine, too.

I rarely date.
Or go to parties.

I got into
Yale Law School.

Oh, wow.
You must be excited.

And terrified.

I've lived my whole life for the
future at the expense of the present.

So now I have to fit the entire
college experience into one semester.

And I want to be more
than the geeky smart girl.

- Is that sad?
- Why do you think I rushed KT?

I want to be more than
the geeky smart girl, too.

I mean, guy.

I think Casey sometimes worries
about it in the opposite direction.

That she waited too long
to find something beyond ZBZ.

It's sweet of you
to think of her.

And though
I'll never admit it,

I think your sister's doing
a fine job of catching up.

I guess we all
have regrets.

I don't think
I'll regret this.

I am so glad I changed my
mind about a second date.

- What?
- What.

Casey said that you had
a great time on our first date.

Was she telling the truth?

Yeah.

- Well, I mean, sort of...
- Clearly not.

So she convinced you how?

Did she express pity for me?
Appeal to your sense of charity?

She belittle
my chocolate fondue?

Because I could tell
she thought it was lame.

Casey loves fondue.
She really likes you, too.

But...

...you don't?

I do, and I'll
prove it to you.

I'll tell her that I don't
want, or need, her car.

She bribed you
with her car?.

Am I that pathetic?
And what are you?

Some brother-whore to be bought
and traded like a commodity?

Casey, hi. Great!

Did you offer
your car to Rusty

to date me so we
could be friends?

Katherine, look.
I thought...

I need to breathe.
I need to think.

I wanted us to be friends
because I respect and admire you.

- I just want you to be happy.
- Me, too.

Forget about what
brought us here.

Just think about
what is going on now.

I'm thinking.

Why don't you just give me one
reason why I should forgive you.

Heads up!

Oh, my gosh!

First a fire, now this. Katherine's
gonna think we're trying to kill her.

Are you?

I'm the one
she's going to hate.

Just when I think
I kinda like her.

- Really?
- Daley?

Dale? What are
you doing here?

Drama, Rus.
Had to bring Bridget in.

There was a...

...accident.
Involving her retainer.

She's gonna be fine, but
I'm gonna need some stitches.

Oh, thank God!
Katherine, you're OK!

"Tis only a flesh wound."

Monty Python.
That's funny.

"We are the Knights
who say, 'Ni'."

I've got you on
strong pain killers.

A good thing the arrow
was blunt-tipped

or you'd be spending
Valentine's Day in the morgue.

Just like
the real Valentine.

I bet you'll never
forget the first time

you were struck
by Cupid's arrow.

Actually it was Pickle's.

- He said he was sorry.
- Casey...

...you went to all this trouble
to be friends with me?

No one's ever done anything
like that for me before.

So, thank you.

- Ni.
- I'll walk her home.

Uh, yeah...

Well, that's probably

the strangest injury
you've had all night, right?

Not really.

You OK?

I can't find my boyfriend.
Have you seen him?

Ha-ha. What's your problem?
He's freakin' beautiful.

Oh, I know.
I just prefer my men handsome.

What's the difference? When
I came out that one week

I totally wanted to listen to
Indigo Girls and wear no makeup.

Grant's experimenting
with the lifestyle.

- Big whoop. It's natural.
- So I'm overreacting?

You are a pretty uptight gay.

Lighten up.
If you want it to work,

it's something you're
gonna have to do.

Or I could just buy him
a really fancy necklace.

- Is that from Evan?
- I've decided I like it.

It's a keepsake
I can keep forever.

I think that was his idea.

Really?
He said that?

Well, more or less.

He says that you get him
more than anyone else.

I think he sees
a future with you.

- I pe it works out.
- Uh-huh.

I'm gonna go get some air.

Pete, can I talk to you
for a second? Alone?

What? I'm not
doing anything.

- Except hurting inside.
- She's really upset, Ash.

Seriously? How are you
buying this whole martyr act?

I'm the good one.
She's LeAnn Rimes.

She burned down my house.

Yeah, Ashleigh didn't think
we deserved to win SongFest,

so she snuck in
and set it on fire.

Nat, that's just crazy.

- What?
- What? I mean...

Yeah, that is
a total lie, Natalie.

Kinda like the one where you said that we
paid for your electric bill last semester.

Yeah, everyone,
that is a lie, too.

No. That's the truth.

You know it, Ashleigh,
tell them!

- Nat, whoa.
- What?

- That you're crazy?
- You're lying.

You're all lying.
I know what I'm talking about.

I'm not crazy, damn it.

Could someone walk her home
so she doesn't hurt herself?

C'mon, Natalie,
I'll walk you home.

Hands off me,
Carrot-top.

Ha-ha! Carrot-top!
That is harsh.

Good luck with that, dude!

Sorry I didn't believe
that Nat's crazy.

It's just that when
she called me a cheater

I felt bad,
and it kinda hurt

that you didn't
trust me, either.

I just didn't want
to be hurt by you.

How about we promise
not to hurt each other?

I'm good with that.

So...

.where were we?

Right here.

I thought you bailed.

I was here, doing this.
Surprise.

You are just
full of surprises.

So is the ensemble
too much?

I once dumped a guy
for being too foofy.

- OK, too much.
- No wait. I'm not done.

I don't want to be
an uptight gay.

All right?

I want to be
as brave as you.

Maybe explore a little.

With you.

♪ It's the only thing ♪

♪ That keeps me on my feet ♪

Sorry.
Have you seen Rebecca?

Yeah, she said that
she was gonna get some air.

OK, um... Carry on.

♪ Again ♪

- Angie. This is Rusty.
- Hi.

Your skin is so soft.

God, I am so sorry
you were struck by an arrow.

That's what I get
for dating a bad boy.

I don't know
if you've noticed,

but sometimes
I'm socially awkward,

and I don't really
know what to do

- or to say...
- I haven't noticed.

Well, I'm sorry that I
wasn't much of a Valentine.

Well, that was the least suckiest
Valentine's Day I've ever had.

Me too.

OK. Thank you.

- Rebecca. Hey.
- Hi, Beaver.

Beav...

Wait up.

- How about we go upstairs?
- What's upstairs?

Your room.

I know that.
But why you wanna go...

Oh, my God.

Yeah, they turn off the
Slushee machines at midnight.

Actually, I was thinking
we could exchange our gifts.

- Here?
- No better time than the present.

Present. Get it?

- OK. Me first.
- OK.

"Look up."

Just what I always wanted.

You were so right.

It's really hard
to buy a gift.

And I totally cracked
under the pressure.

You are off the hook
from this day forward.

Well, that's good.

Because I don't think I could
top what I did this year.

Bringing me to the
Quickie Mart?

It's not just
any Quickie Mart.

You and I came here once
freshman year for snacks.

I thought
it looked familiar.

You were buying all this
food, and I was wondering

if you got high
when I wasn't looking.

And when I asked you
about it, you said:

"I want to stock
the fridge in your room,"

because you knew I was lazy
about going to the cafeteria,

and you didn't
want me to go hungry.

Um...
Do you want food?

And you were at the
register, paying.

And you tucked your hair
behind your ear,

looked back at me
and just...

...smiled.

Case...

This is where I first
realized that I loved you.

And I've loved you
every day since.

Oh, Cap...

- Oh, my God.
- That's my gift.

Oh, my God.
It's perfect.

So, I um...

I guess I kinda won?

Yeah, you so won.

Yes!

Suck it,
Valentine's Day!