Greek (2007–2011): Season 3, Episode 16 - Your Friends and Neighbors - full transcript

Previously on Greek.

How could you possibly imagine,
that we have anything in common ?

- I just thought...
- We did.

I wanna be as brave as you.
Maybe explore a little.

I thought it would look
really good on you.

- Let's try it, shall we ?
- Is that from Evan ?

- It's a keepsake I can keep forever.
- Think that was his idea ?

- Have you seen Rebecca ?
- She was gonna step out get some air.

- If we go upstairs ?
- Why do you wanna go... ?

My God !

I just miss you.



Now you're double dating with Evan
and Rebecca instead of me and Cappie.

- Have fun.
- You, too.

If anybody knows his way
inside the beltway, it's Joel.

We mostly hire people with post-graduate
degrees for legislative aide jobs.

- What about law school ?
- I'm gonna go to law school.

That's great. And I've made
a pretty big decision myself.

This is a form for declaring a major.
Wait, this is blank.

Hey, Cap, I hope you don't mind. But
I moved some of your stuff off your desk

and put it over there.

I have a desk ?

Is that your personal statement ?

Your second draft was great. Although,
I preferred the font on your ninth.

OK. Well,
It has to be perfect, given my

OK grades and not-so-OK
practice LSAT scores.



Georgetown,
Stanford and CRU all place

great importance on
the personal statement.

I get it, all right ?
I'm dealing with future stuff, too.

Like thinking about
declaring a real major.

If I get into CRU law, which would be
ideal because it's a really good school

and it's here and you find
a major that you love,

maybe we could end up
graduating at the same time.

- Isn't that crazy, right ?
- The craziest.

Done in seven years.
I'll be like Speedy Gonzales.

Maybe I should study Spanish,
or Espana as they say.

If you need help finding a major, I can
always go through your transcripts.

No, no, no, no.
I want you to focus on law school.

Asking for help isn't a bad thing.

That's why I'm so glad that Joel agreed
to read this and give me feedback.

Joel...

the Orgy Guy ?

Can we call him Joel the guy who is
going to help Casey get into Law School?

I don't know, Orgy Guy gives
him a lot more personality.

Or personalidante,
as they would say.

All right. Bye, Cap.

Pull !

And... pull !

Dumptruck, guys,
what are you doing ?

Those go in the Dumpster.
But this is way more fun.

- And more fast.
- And no one lives in that house.

And since Jeremy left,

no one lives in the Dumpster.
So let's use it.

Mornin', Spitter.

- Why so grumpy ?
- These guys won't use the Dumpster.

- I miss Jeremy.
- Yeah.

- You have a major, right ?
- Did you pick one yet ?

It's a big commitment.
I was thinking about archeology.

- I've always liked Indiana Jones.
- Did you see the last movie ?

Good point.
How about astronaut ?

That's not a major.

- Looks like I'm back to square one.
- You probably have a lot of options.

You just need to focus.

That's the problem. See, I'm not
a fan of the focus-y stuff, you know ?

Hey, Mr. Spitter,
I think Dumptruck might be dead.

Any of this belong to you boys ?

Never seen it.

No big deal,
but there's a lot more over there.

if you all worked together,
you could clear it out in an afternoon.

Wait.
Who are you ?

Your new neighbors.

-= 316 =-
"Your Friends and Neighbors"

Kappa Team

Hey, stranger !

How was your big date with Pete ?

It was amazing.

Tell me.

I want to,
but I'm running late for a potato chip

focus group for
my retail marketing class.

Sounds salty.

And I volunteered us to do nametags
and cups for the dorm reunion.

Crap ! The freshman dorm reunion, right.
I'll get cups from the KT house.

Guess whose roommate
is gonna be there.

- Yours ?
- No, but

it turns out Janine's freshman 15

is now a two-year-old named Toby.

No way !

- So Sunny's going to be there ?
- She never liked me.

So...

name tags.
I have this focus group until three.

- How about we do them at four ?
- I'm meeting Joel at four. Six ?

- I have dinner with Pete.
- And including your making out...

How about ten ?

Pledge bonding.
We're doing kitty collages.

And I have class all day tomorrow.

Tomorrow night ?
7 : 30 ?

7 : 30 nametags.

Great.

Along with all the details
on your date with Pete.

How can smelly, old people

just move in next door ?
Isn't that illegal ?

I thought you said after
that fraternity disbanded in the'80s,

no one lived there
anymore it's cursed.

It is.
By us.

Our Mardi Gras party is next week,
which means Ma and Pa

Poopy-pants are gonna
be pooping on our party.

I think we are overreacting
a little bit.

The Hilgendorfs seem
like reasonable people.

What ?

We had a very interesting conversation
when we were cleaning out their yard.

Professor Hilgendorf
is a music historian.

He's faculty ?

Rusty, trust me, this is bad.

They're gonna want us
to be neighborly, respectful,

quiet.
That's not us.

We need to get them gone.

- How about a haunting ?
- Where are the chains at ?

I think we could get along
with them.

Good fences, good neighbors ?

I'll take care of it,
and you can concentrate on your major.

Guys. Against my better judgment

Spitter is going over there to make
nice. So someone start a pool to see

how long I have until I get
to tell him "I told you so."

Cap, I did something,

and I feel kinda bad about it.

Well, you seem extremely upset.

I had sex with Rebecca Logan !

I'm sorry.

I broke the bro code.
If you want to hit me, I understand.

Wait.
Is this like last year

when you "had sex"
with Wonder Woman ?

I'm still not convinced I didn't.

Remember the rope burns
when the guys were teasing you

- with the Lasso of Truth ?
- Yeah, OK. But...

I'm still 75 to 25 percent
sure I had sex with Rebecca.

I was drinking...

Why don't you just keep this to
yourself until you're absolutely sure.

We wouldn't want Wonder
Woman to get jealous?

Let's go get those chains.

You look pretty cheery for a guy
who lost his date last night.

Rebecca left me a message.
Apparently, she had food poisoning

and she ran out
so she wouldn't throw up on me.

You sure she didn't see you dance ?

Funny.

With the extra time
I had this morning,

I was able to finish the last
of my law school applications.

- Let's celebrate.
- Looks like you already are, man.

- What's up with Club Calvin ?
- Well.

I'm making a gay-list.

A what ?

It's a playlist of gay music.

Does this have to do
with Grant's new...

look ?

Yeah, a little.

It's just that I've been surrounded
by so much

straight in my life, I've never opened
my eyes to see what else is out there.

Seeing Grant sort of explore this new
world has motivated me

- to do the same.
- To boldly go where

ten percent of men have gone before.

Yeah. Seriously.
Stop dancing.

Evan, I was looking for you.
I was going through the receipts from

the party and there's like $500
missing from the petty cash.

- I think someone stole it.
- Wait, like a guest from last night ?

No, the cash box is hidden.

Only a brother would
even know to look for it.

It sounds like we have
a thief in the house.

Damn.

I hate when my human sexuality
study group finishes without me.

What can I say ?
You came late.

So...

I heard the craziest thing today.

Beaver thinks he had
sex with you last night.

He told you ? My God, you guys
gossip worse than sority girls.

He was right ?
Was this Chambers-inspired ?

Did he sleep with a townie ?
Get a few of your sisters expelled ?

He bought me a necklace
for Valentine's Day.

And you didn't like it ?
No, it's beautiful.

A silver, teardrop pendant with a
diamond...

that I'm not wearing. It's just,
he's being romantic and buying me gifts

and it's all very sweet and overwhelming
and something I'm not used to.

Well setting aside the possible personal
attack and considering you and I dated

and that Evan is a first-class ass-hat,
shouldn't you be happy

that you're being wooed ?

Unless you really like him and that
freaks you out so you're messing

- all this up on purpose.
- What ?

Spring break ? Wet T-shirt contest ?
"I'm beneath you" ? Ring any bells ?

Don't confuse your old feelings about
me with the way I felt about you.

OK, maybe I don't like getting too
comfortable. What can I say ?

Well, you can say how Chambers took it
when you dumped him. Did he cry ?

- Why would I dump him ?
- Why wouldn't you ?

Look, I like Evan.
And as much as it might bother you,

I do care about him. I just don't
want things to get so serious.

That doesn't mean I'm ready
to throw in the towel.

If you're not gonna dump him,
aren't you worried he's gonna find out

- about Beaver ?
- Not really.

Who's gonna believe Beaver ?
You didn't.

Good point.
Just promise me one thing.

- I won't hurt your brother.
- Please, he had sex, he's fine.

If you decide to tell Evan,

just let me know.
I'd like to be there for that.

Just text me about it.

Well, it's a little...

dry.

Dry can be good.
Like a martini.

It reads like your resume in paragraph
form. It won't distinguish you from

- the thousands of other applicants.
- Thousands ?

And I bet they started working
on this last fall instead of last month.

If it makes you feel any better,
I always planned to go to law school and

I didn't know what to
write for mine, either.

- How'd you figure it out ?
- The Backstreet Boys.

I can write about them.

It wasn't just about them.

I couldn't understand how the Supreme
Court had made such a bad decision

on this voting rights case,

and then I remembered that

I took my ex-wife

to a Backstreet Boys
concert for our first date.

Another bad decision

and a connection between
me and our nation's highest court.

Ex-wife ?

Sorry, none of my...

We got married a week
after graduation,

I started law school
and she started working.

Somewhere between trusts
and estates and cyberlaw,

- we found ourselves on different paths.
- I'm sorry.

Don't be. The older you get,
the more you realize

some people should be
around your entire life

and others should just
make an appearance.

So...

I should

find a personal connection
between myself and the law.

I stole a pair of earrings from
Claire's when I was in seventh grade.

Misdemeanor. Now, if you have ever been
charged with murder or arson...

Charged ?
No. No, no.

No !

No charging.

- So when are your applications due ?
- Friday.

Then I hope you've got a lot of time to
do some thinking in the next few days,

because you got some work to do.

So far, so good
with the Hilgendorfs.

I had the pledges sweep their porch,
clean their gutters

and wire their surround sound.

Which just leaves me
with my major major problem.

Have you thought about English ?

That's a great idea.
I already speak it.

Right ?

- Professor Hilgendorf.
- Nope.

Call me Tom.

Margie made these to thank you boys.

- Free food !
- Free food ? Where ?

Listen, I also wanted to talk
to you about your fence.

I think it's kind of strange,
the way it abuts our house.

You got beer pong.

Why ?
Is it too loud ?

Welcome to the best part
of the neighborhood, Tom-o.

Eye candy.

That's my daughter.

Her name is Hannah.
And she is 16 years old.

Sixteen.

- I repeat, sixteen.
- Thanks, Dad.

That was mortifying.
Mom said dinner's ready in ten minutes.

I better get going.

- Enjoy your meatloaf.
- I will.

Also, can I ask you guys

to rein in the noise after 10 pm
on school nights ?

- That sounds sort of reasonable.
- You know what ?

Here's a few other simple
requests that you shouldn't mind at all.

"Noise curfew of midnight on Friday
and Saturday, lawn free of alcohol,

furniture and debris,
no foul language at any time ?"

Thanks, guys.

- Who had six hours ?
- That'd be me.

Someone pay the man,
because, Spitter,

I told you so !

included a link to a very fascinating
clip about a high-speed robot hand.

But do you think that that
was too forward of me ?

And how long do you think I should
wait before I take the hint ?

I'm sorry. Is it uncomfortable for
you to discuss your brother in terms

- of romantic liaison ?
- Always.

I'm sorry, I'm just...
I'm really stressed.

Maybe we should get a cup of coffee
and discuss what's bothering you.

And about these feelings I'm having.

As fun as that sounds,

I really need to work
on my personal statement.

Maybe I could come over
and brainstorm some ideas.

I was recently accepted
into Yale Law.

Congratulations !

That'd be great.

- You don't mind ?
- Of Course not.

While we work, I could ask you some
hypothetical questions about dating ?

We could pretend
I'm not talking about your brother.

Bite me, A.

- Who you calling an A ?
- You, you R.

What the H is an R ?

I think it's the same as a Q.

Well, this turned out well.

Come on, Cap.
What's the harm in a few rules ?

Well, one, most Kts can't spell,

and two, this is a fraternity house.
At least it used to be.

I'll go over there
and talk to Tom again.

What, so he can assign
a dress code ?

No, this is when we fight back,
this is when we play dirty,

this is when we make them pay.

We cannot go to war
with a faculty member.

We will all get expelled.

Wait a minute.
We can Borg him.

I'll get Heath.

Absorb him

into our collective.
If he feels like he's one of us,

maybe he will relax the rules.

You know, that oddly makes sense.

And maybe he could help
you pick a major. He is faculty,

and the one thing old people love
to do more than anything else

is give advice to kids.

Z...

S...

I bet I know who stole the money.

Don't want to be elitist,
but hello ?

- Housekeeping ?
- Everybody, calm down.

Let's not turn this
into a witch-hunt.

I bet it was Trip.

He's the first to blame everyone else
so he can throw suspicion off himself.

What am I supposed to do,
just let us get ripped off ?

No one's saying do nothing, Trip.
There's no reason to turn on each other.

Does it really matter who took it ?
It's only 500 bucks.

Maybe Grant took it. Can't be cheap
to change your look overnight.

Maybe crazy Natalie tricked you
into stealing it for her.

What did I just say
about turning on each other ?

Guys, what I meant is maybe we can all
pitch in a little cash and cover it.

- Problem solved.
- It's not about the money.

- It's the principle.
- Maybe it was Chambers.

- He needs money the most.
- After everything Evan's been through

with the house,
you think he'd steal the money ?

Maybe it was you.

So much for avoiding a witch-hunt.

So Tom, what does
a music historian actually do ?

I mostly just listen to music.

Boring classically classical stuff ?

Well, I have spent
the last three years

working on Richard Strauss'
Die Agyptische Helena.

- Talk about driving a man to drink.
- Yes ! That's true.

- Do you have any ?
- Take mine.

All right.
Thank you.

You know, in my day,
we used to play a game

that combined eight-ball
and beer pong and gambling.

- Monkey-Hump ?
- Yes !

- I'm undefeated.
- Are you ?

So am I.

Borg-ing commenced.

You know, Tom...

We were just talking about Cappie

having so much trouble
picking a major.

As a professor, you might be able
to give him some advice.

Maybe you can discuss it
while you guys Monkey-Hump.

I'd be more than happy
to help you with that.

It's on.

Can I help you with something ?

No, thanks.

- That was weird.
- I know. She said thanks.

So I will go grab all the nametag stuff.
We have so much catching up to do.

- The... ?
- For the dorm reunion ?

My God !
I totally forgot.

You probably forgot
to pick up the cups, too.

I'm sorry.

Joel blew apart

my personal statement and I've been
trying to come up with a new topic.

That sucks.
You should've told me.

Maybe I can help.
It's all about marketing yourself.

And who knows more about marketing
or yourself, than me and myself ?

I know what your personal statement
should be about. Hi, ZBZ.

Katherine is helping me,
and she already got into law school !

- Awesome !
- The ban on sexual discrimination

was added to the Civil
Rights Act of 1964

by a senator who wanted
to defeat the bill.

- But the bill passed, right ?
- Yes, it did.

But just as justice
triumphed over cynicism,

you do not let the negative
stereotypes of sority girls

dissuade you from achieving

- visionary objectives.
- That is perfect !

Right, Ash ?

Yeah.

So I'll just go do those nametags.

Looks like you guys
got this under control.

Don't forget the cups, Case.

Right.

No problem.

You have a second ?

You wanna see this awesome video
of this robot hand ?

That Katherine sent you ?

She's kind of cool and interesting.

I wish everyone felt that way.

- I think Ashleigh's jealous of her.
- Then I can't help you.

Guys don't get jealous. That way,
we have more time to invent things

- and cure diseases.
- And start wars and light farts ?

Well, thanks, Rus.
Big help.

Where's Cappie ?
How's his major hunt going ?

I think I may have found him
an academic adviser.

Great !

I don't want to sound like
one of those nagging girlfriends

and it's not like I'm worried
he's gonna end up being...

one of those 40-year-olds guys
still partying at the KT house...

I'm starving !

Gotta get up !

Oh, man...

That's not his academic adviser,
right ?

No. That's...

Pickle's dad.

David Sedaris is doing a reading
on campus this weekend.

- You wanna go ?
- Sounds fun.

That was pretty gutsy of you,
taking on Trip.

Why ?
Evan's my big brother.

Haven't you thought
maybe he stole the money ?

- He's broke. He needs the cash.
- And he has a job.

As far as I know, he's not investing
in home hair products

and velvet suits.

- So now you think that I did it ?
- No, I'm just merely pointing out

why we shouldn't be
throwing around blame.

Hi, guys.

- What are you doing ?
- Waiting for Evan.

No, to the couch.

- Redecorating.
- Let us know if you find $500 in there.

Hey, feeling better ?

Yeah, must've been one
of those 24 hour things.

- I'm really hungry now.
- Okay, let's go.

So we shouldn't be throwing
blame around, even though last night

you were pissed that someone
stole from their brothers ?

I don't like any of it, OK ?

The money was stolen on my watch,

so everyone's looking at me
to fix the situation.

Maybe there's a way we can solve
both problems at once.

Get the money back and not
publicly humiliate anyone.

Tom didn't go home last night ?

No, he told Margie he was up all night
grading papers.

You're a genius, Spitter.
I think we Borged him.

He dropped the curfews and told us not
to worry about the house-butt problem.

So mission accomplished, right ?
You can send him home.

No way, I made him
an honorary pledge.

He came as Tom.
Now, he's T-Bag.

So did T-Bag help you
with your major ?

I found out what old people love more
than giving advice : being young people.

I can't believe I Monkey-Humped you
twice last night.

Do you guys ever do keg stands ?

Hi, there.
Have you seen Tom ?

No, we haven't, Mrs. Hilgendorf.

May I say that blouse
brings out the color in your eyes ?

And the lemon bars... to die for.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

And if we see Tom, we'll be sure
to tell him you came by looking for him.

Of course.
Have a nice day.

Dude, thank you.

She would've had my ass.

And not in a...
Like in a good way.

It's the least I can do for the best
academic adviser at CRU

Do you wanna watch sports all day ?

Okay !
Let me get my beers !

- What's up, guys ?
- When's the old dude leaving ?

Because if I wanted to spend time
with a guy

old enough to be my dad,
I'd go home and hang with my dad.

He's not doing too much
for Cappie at this point either.

You invited him here,
so make him go.

How ? Cappie already made him
an honorary pledge.

You're Pledge Educator.
Just haze him until he quits.

Pledge T-Bag ?
Yes ?

Give me five ?

These are mine.

Pushups ?

Hazing ! Fun !

Okay, let's do them !

- Five more ?
- OK. Wait a minute.

Shouldn't all the other pledges
be doing this with me ?

Sorry, guys.
Ten from everyone.

Come on, you guys !

Yeah.

Good.

I'll prepare the SOUF.

What's that ?
What's the SOUF ?

Smoothie Of Unidentified Fluids.

And you're gonna love your costume.

You should probably
start getting ready.

Can I meet you there ?
I just want to read through this again.

I thought "Gamma Psi"
figured it all out for you.

Katherine has really smart advice.

She's already gotten
into Yale Law and...

she knows what the admissions
committees are looking for.

But does she know you ?

I gotta tell you,
when I think of Casey Cartwright,

I'm not reminded
of the Civil Rights Act of 1964.

Well, it's a good thing you're not
on the admissions committees.

Why is it even called a personal
statement, if it's just a bunch of BS ?

Look, I don't care
if it's BS or personal.

I just want to get into law school
and with Katherine's input, I will.

You're sure about that ?

I'm so sure,

I am going to go with you
to that reunion.

Great.
Don't forget the cups.

Again.

No dust.
Anywhere.

Beaver, did you find
any jewelry in your room ?

Leave.

A silver necklace ?

Why would that be in my room ?

I think I lost it when we...

You know...

God, you're gonna make me say it.
When we had sex.

We did do it !
I bet Wonder Woman really happened, too.

Don't worry.
You were way better.

What, I'm serious.

You're charming
when you're not trying so hard.

Wanna go upstairs
and lose your earrings ?

And now you're back.
Come on, help me find my necklace.

How's it going, Pledge T-Bag ?

- What do I clean next ?
- You wanna play some beer pong ?

He was just about to clean
underneath the pool table.

Oh, you guys !

So I think Tom has helped me
decide what to major in.

- Really ?
- Yes.

I wanna major in Tom.

I want to be having that much fun
when I'm elderly. He's awesome.

No, he isn't.

He's creeping everybody out. Not to
mention, no girl will ever set foot

in Kappa Tau once they know we're
recruiting senior citizens as pledges.

Untrue. Girls love it here.
Look.

What ? That's Dumptruck.
And who's he with ?

Dad ?

You're drinking ?
What is this ?

I can't find my necklace.

- Noise disturbance !
- Huck ?

Oh no, campus cops.

- Officer Huck.
- Hucky !

The old Huckster !

I couldn't do it all by myself. Kinda
like you and your personal statement.

Well, this'll be a fun
walk down memory lane.

I'm gonna go put these
by the punch bowl.

My God !

And Ashleigh ?
Is that you ?

It is.
Hi, Sunny.

Well, I haven't seen you guys
in, like, forever !

- What have you been up to these days ?
- Ashleigh was just talking

about how she made
these nametags all by herself.

So cute.
And what about you ?

Well, she's applying to law school.

It's a visionary objective and nothing
will stop her from achieving it.

You two really stuck together.
You know...

I've lost touch with almost everyone
from the dorm.

- We've been roommates.
- That explains it.

You can't help be friends with
the people you live with. Kind of like

how we were all friends because
the university randomly

assigned us to Pierson. It's not like
we had a ton in common or anything !

I guess that's why reunions
are so awkward.

If you wanted awkward, you should've
been at the ZBZ house last night.

Casey was under some serious
mind control.

- Were you playing Ouija ?
- All she was doing

was helping with my statement,
which is the key to my whole future.

Which evidently is more important
than your past.

What is your problem ?
Why are you so jealous ?

This isn't about Katherine.
And my problem is

that we're not on the same page at all
anymore and you don't even realize it.

It was great to see you both again.

If Huck finds out
we have a 16-year-old girl

hanging out at the house with alcohol,
we'll be kicked off the Row.

And my dad'll get fired
for partying with students.

Relax, it's just Huck.

We've Dewey and Anthony Hopkins
keeping him occupied inside.

We'll just walk our
Hilgendorfs out the back gate

and in through their front door,
all right ?

Open it !

Over the fence.

Who's going over the fence ?

One, two, three.

- Up, up !
- This was a bad idea !

A lot of broken glass there.

- It seems quiet to me.
- That's because you're a civilian.

Every night, I train my ears...

to detect a pin drop.

By dropping pins.

And that was not a pin.

What are they doing ?

Tai chi.

And exhale.

Namaste.

Breathe in.

What ?
I took a Learning Annex class.

Hey, guys !
You forgot to unhook the latch.

I just landed in the garden.
Our tomatoes are doing great.

Mom's home !

Maybe she won't be
that angry with T-Bag...

T-Dad... your dad.

Are you kidding ?

If she finds out, she'll divorce Dad,
send me off to boarding school

- and shut your house down.
- Okay, plan B.

Rebecca, you and Beav stall Mom.
We'll get them upstairs.

I'll open a window.

This is not a part of Plan B.

I didn't hear anything about...

What's up ?

We are giving whoever did this
a chance to return the money

- without all the finger-pointing.
- Everyone gets an envelope,

which we all have to place
in a sealed box in the Chapter Room.

Whoever stole the money can return it
without anyone knowing.

And as long as it's returned,
there's no need to punish anyone.

Makes sense to me.

Mrs. Hilgendorf, hi !

I'm Rebecca Logan,
ZBZ's Welcome Wagon.

- I'm Beaver, and I'm with her.
- Trying too hard.

Watch your head.

So, what were Rebecca and
Beaver doing upstairs ?

Taking cultures for her bio class.

If I didn't know any better,
I'd think they slept together.

- They did ?
- Leave it alone, Spitter.

- This looks like my house !
- That's because it is.

That's my bed.

- We're gonna put you in bed.
- Good idea. I'm tired.

- Let's get you in there.
- Guys, I'm really tired.

We should, like, grab a movie.

- Stay away from my daughter !
- Dad !

- He's all tucked in.
- Spray him and get out of here.

We could use Rebecca and Beaver
to get back at Evan

- for getting the guys expelled.
- We're gonna get back

at all the Omega Chis for that
and when we do,

we won't need to drag
anybody else into it.

We gotta lose the costume, guys.

Get his hat !

Sorry, did you say
your name was Beaver ?

It's short for "The Beaver."

If you'll excuse me...

Look up here !
Look up here !

That was the signal.
We gotta hurry up.

Just a call...

It's a... welcome.

Good night.

That's Rebecca's necklace.

- Are you OK ?
- No !

- Thank you.
- Yeah.

Time to go to bed.

And there are two of
us in this friendship.

So it can't be all my fault, right ?

- It's possible, but not very probable.
- I know !

I mean, yes, I have

been a little focused on law school,

but she's been dealing
with other stuff, too.

Who's to say which one of us turned
the page when the other wasn't looking ?

I've never been on
the same page with anyone.

I joined GP only for the networking
connections after college. But Casey,

- I do consider you to be...
- On the same page ?

I was gonna say a friend.

So we're friends ?

Yes and I was thinking that maybe one
day we could be the kind of friends

- could read each other's...
- Minds ?

I was gonna say books.

Right.

But I think it takes a little
bit to get on the same page.

Have you read the recent
works of Alice Munro ?

- The recent works ?
- No.

This is a first edition.

I just wrote my name on the inside
cover so you know who to return it to.

Thanks.

And I'm sorry that you
and Ashleigh have grown apart.

But it happens to a lot of people
at the end of college.

Maybe some people should
be around your entire life,

and others should just
make an appearance.

Dryer sheets and...

and...

Mold.

Yeah.

Well, Sunny seemed sunny.

No one should smile that much.

She's gonna need Botox
by the time she's 25.

Or a lobotomy.

I can't believe this
is where we met.

- And where we met Frannie.
- You had to say the "F" word.

How different would college
have been without this ten-foot,

poorly-ventilated and moldy room ?

Things were a lot easier back then.

For us.

Yeah, we were freshmen.

Our biggest concern was whether
or not the dryer was eating our socks.

And now ?

Now...

we both have a lot more going on.

Boyfriends in different houses,

schedules that demand our attention,

plans after graduation
that are changing our priorities.

We'll have to work harder to...

stay on the same page.

We never had to work at it before.

I know.

I know.

Do you think that Sunny was right ?

We're only friends
because of geography ?

Maybe that's why we became friends,

but I don't think it's
why we stayed friends.

You don't think
that we're growing apart ?

I think we're growing up.

Ash, I don't want to live in the past.
Not with you.

- Because if we did, we'd still be...
- In this laundry room ?

Well, I can still read your mind.

So who...

is Alice Munro ?

You know...

no clue.

But we got away with it,
that's something.

Not really.

Guys, I'm a 40-year-old man

and I just had to rely on
a bunch of guys in their twenties

to rescue me
and my 16-year-old daughter.

I'm 19.

Way to rub it in.

- Sorry about hazing you.
- No.

No reason to be.
You guys are great.

I just don't think
I'm supposed to be here.

- But you're T-Bag.
- No.

I'm just Dad,

and sometimes Professor Hilgendorf.

No offense, but that's depressing.

Yeah, to you, it is.
But I like my life, really.

And while it was fun to play around,

I belong on the other
side of the fence.

- What about the rules ?
- Forget about that.

College is not supposed
to be about rules.

You guys have your fun.
As a matter of fact,

have a lot of fun and I will live
vicariously through you.

Well, Tom, the table's always open
if you want to get Monkey-Humped.

No, I think I'm gonna
retire undefeated.

Too bad you won't.

Come on, tell me the truth.

You're gonna miss all this,
aren't you ?

Yeah, I'll miss it.

But it's never
the same after you leave.

The truth is you can't go back.

So enjoy it while you can.

Sorry Tom didn't turn out
to be much of an adviser.

You know, Spitter,

he actually made a lot of sense.

And our books are balanced.

Great.

OK. Well,

that ends that.

No...

not quite.

You see, Grant didn't trust you,
but I did.

I told him he was wrong to
think you stole that money.

I told Trip that, too.

What you getting at ?

I trusted you.

I marked the envelope to prove

that you didn't steal the money.

I need to buy Rebecca present.

- I was gonna pay the house back.
- Forget it.

I don't even care.

This isn't an excuse,

but I've been surrounded by money
my entire life, including here.

I guess I'm still
getting used to it.

It's like you said,

living in the straight world.

Please tell me you
didn't just compare me

listening to Lady Gaga to you
being a thief and a liar.

No, that...
That's not what I meant.

Cal, I'm sorry.

I just hoped you could understand.

I just don't think you understand.

You gave up that trust fund up

because you didn't like what
that money was turning you into.

I'm just starting to think
the money wasn't the problem.

Well, you're not expelled.

We live to party another day.

Thank you, by the way.

And...

you're welcome.

Why is there hair in it ?

That's the hair of
a champion Monkey-Humper.

Don't you think you're giving Evan
the wrong idea

by keeping that when you
don't feel the same way he does ?

Evan knew how I felt about
that stuff from the start.

And I don't want to get
so serious with him.

Or with anyone, for that matter.

It's easier and I'm just
not that kind of person.

Why is it so hard to just keep
everything casual and fun ?

Nobody moves, nobody gets hurt.

I'm the one angsting here.

I'm just not sure I'm ready
to graduate and leave here

and become the Hilgendorfs.

The whole idea is...

soul-sucking and kind of scary.

I hear ya.

So, what about you and Casey ?

I thought you didn't want
to be anywhere she isn't.

Well, if she gets into CRU law,
then it won't be an issue

for a while.

And if she doesn't ?

I don't really know.

But I can't figure it
all out today, Becks.

So I'm just gonna hang here
and enjoy the sunshine.

Sounds like a plan to me.

Oh, yeah.

Sounds like quite a laundry room.

The Backstreet Boys
were already taken.

And you never found the sock ?

No, but I realized that legal precedent
isn't all that different from nostalgia.

The law builds on the past

and I wouldn't be who I am,

if it weren't for that laundry room.

And if I had dated
a girl who preferred

U2 to the Backstreet Boys,
I might not be divorced.

It's an interesting theory.

Interesting,
as in "this girl belongs in law school"

or "this girl belongs
in a Laundromat" ?

I think you know the answer to that.

Thank you.

Thanks.