Greek (2007–2011): Season 3, Episode 12 - Pride & Punishment - full transcript

- You planned this?
- Yes.

So we'd get caught! - Comes down
to choosing between your friends

and your brothers.
You have to choose your brothers.

You made your choice pretty clear.

What are you doing here?

Rain check. Remember?

We'd like to congratulate

Russell Cartwright on being this year's
grand recipient.

There's a reason it didn't
work out with Fisher.

- He cheated on me again.
- What?

Mmm. Jasmine. - Someone gave
us a zero out of a hundred?



Yeah. This one judge, Ryan.

He also gave the Gamma Psi's a 100.

That's so shady.

We determined the fire
was started accidentally

by a candle. Jasmine, I believe.

Ah.

You know you're e in fos nine pages.

You know you're in for a hard class
when you sign up to be an engineer,

so get it together,
Gary Wyatt Grant winner.

Hey, you want to go grab
some coffee before lab?

Uh, no can do.
My hot cocoa money's going

directly into the piggy bank

so I can fund my project research.

We don't all have forty grand
burning a hole in our pockets.



Hey, is your fly open or something?
Everybody keeps staring at you.

- This is a new shirt.
- Rusty?

It's Dana? From Space Plasma Physics?

- We met at orientation?
- Freshman orientation?

I had the shirt with
the butterflies on it.

- Why am I talking to you?
- I have no idea.

Oh! To congratulate you.
On winning the Gary Wyatt Grant.

It's... wow.

Well, I have to get to
the science lab, so...

I wonder if they're
gonna have snacks today.

Do you think this is all
because of the grant?

You know what they say:
Mo' money, mo' problems.

So which one of these
hotties are you gonna hit?

Why didn't you get Dana's digits?

I don't know. She seemed
kinda odd, didn't she?

Oh, don't get too picky, Rus.
I got a feeling

those sorority row brainiacs you
consort with aren't gonna have the same
reaction.

OK, very funny. -

- Casey.
- Hi, um, Katherine.

H-how are you? Did you have
fun at the Fairy Tale Ball?

Oh, it wasine. You know
how I feel about parties.

Right. I kw how you feel about those.

But how do you feel about today?

IFC/Panhellenic meeting,
first one. Big day.

It could be a very big day for you.

Really? Like how big of a day?

I think you know what I'm getting at,

so I'm not gonna keep
it from you any longer.

Yeah, I know.

The Vice President of Judicial
position is still open.

I know you turned it down last
semester, but I thought I was gonna
give it another ask.

You've been so supportive
with the Gamma Psi fire

and so patient with
the SongFest judging,

I thought I could trust you
of all people to help me.

- As your VPJ?
- Without delay.

Did you see that? I'm so excited
to have you in the position,

I'm resorting to silly rhymes.

- Ha...
- So are you in?

Of course. - Great,
I already have your first task.

I need you to look into the events
surrounding the Gamma Psi fire.

Really? I thought the police
said it was just an accident.

And I told them that I blew out that
candle, but they're not taking me
seriously.

Something fishy went on that night and
it's driving me crazy not knowing what
it is.

Oh... - I am sure you can
find out what happened, Casey.

Of course, Katherine, I will...

...get to the bottom of this mystery.

- One more thing...
- Yeah?

My own clipboard?

Oh, my... - Commencing,
people, let's start.

Old business: the tutoring
program was a roaring success.

We received rave reviews from
all local teachers. Moving on...

[i[indistinct chat

- So... big class.
- Yeah.

My sorority calls it
"Marketing for Dummies"

because Professor Clarissa's so
desperate to be cool, she gives
everyone A's.

- -
- Awesome, right?

I myself could use an easy A.
Got a pretty heavy load this semester,

since I won the Gary Wyatt
Innovation in Engineering Grant.

I'm gonna be pretty busy
doing extra research.

Well, I won't keep you.

Oh, I see my friend!

Baby Brother Cartwright!

You're taking Marketing for Dummies?

- You seem crabby.
- I just got shot down by a girl.

- I talked about science.
- Oh, no. Which one?

That one. The blonde.

Erika Miller? She is hot.

So one girl thought you were a geek.

One of the guys who asked me out
last week thought I was a sophomore.

Can you believe that?

Yeah, that's not quite
the same situation.

Stupid laptop!

I think I got a virus
downloading a picture

of what was supposed to
be Robert Pattinson naked,

but was a cat playing the piano.

Let me take a look at it.

Might as well put my
nerdiness to some use, right?

I haven't had a date since,
uh... - Jordan? Right?

Well, I took my cheating boyfriend back

and got cheated on again, so...

I'm sorry, Ash.

Just trying to get your attention!

Can I get a what-what?

No? OK!

Marketing Rule Number One:
Know your target audience.

Case! Case, come on, where's the fire?

I don't think it's a good
idea that we talk, Evan.

What, Cappie hates me,
so you have to hate me too?

No, I... I'm mad at you
because I'm mad at you!

What? And you won't give
me a way to apologize?

There's nothing you can say!
We were all friends again.

Why'd you have to screw it up?

You screwed it up! By getting
back together with Cappie

and expecting me to be third wheel in
your fantasy re-creation of freshman
year.

Look!

Case, you know how important it
was to me to win my house back.

Way to rationalize.

See? In honor of Fisher.
It's called Burnt Betrayal.

Burnt? Did they find out?
Are we screwed?

- No, Betsy. You're safe.
- OK.

Everyone is still really
on edge about the fire.

-

Sorry!

- -
- What fire?

The Gamma Psi fire.

The one that your candle started.

Come on, you're not worried
we're gonna get in trouble?

The only worry I have right now is
having to wake up at seven tomorrow

to try to add another class.
I hate waiting in lines.

It's so Midwest. -

Heather and Reagan nearly came
to blows over a parking space.

I think the girls are still nervous.

Affirmative. So, how was the meeting?
Was Katherine weird?

You know, more than usual?

Is it weird she gave me

the VP of Judicial
position and my first task

is to investigate the Gamma Psi fire?

- Oh, my God!
- Yeah.

No more fire talk for me, thanks.
I'm gonna watch TV.

Huh.

Complete and utter denial.
It's almost pathological.

It's Rebecca.

You know,

if you're in charge
of the investigation,

you could always investigate
it away from us.

And abuse my authority and
continue to lie to Katherine,

which is killing me inside?
I can't stand the guilt anymore!

OK? - Yeah. All the
sisters are on edge, too.

We need to give them
something else to focus on.

Maybe, uh, philanthropy? For Gamma Psi!

Maybe that could help
us all feel better.

Maybe trot out the old
bachelor auction fundraiser.

i>- The cops are here!
It's just General Hospital.

Turn it off!

Um, yeah, the philanthropy
is a good idea.

You take care of that.
I'm gonna start my

big fake investigation.

Over the holidays, Brother Barry
and I were fortunate enough

to attend a secret conference. In Akron.

Birthplace of the United
States trucking industry.

I can't say more. Anyone
else do anything interesting?

I traveled to South
America with my family

and assisted in a ritual sacrifice.

You know who didn't assist
people over break? Evan.

- Drop it, Cappie.
- Why? Don't you stand by your actions?

Or are you embarrassed to have these
people find out what an ass-clown you
really are?

Look, I'm not gonna apologize for
doing what I had to do for my house.

You'd do the same if... - My house
would never ask me to screw with
people's lives,

because we're not a bunch of whiney,
spoiled brats!

No, you're just a bunch of losers
who will still be living there

while the rest of us,
including your girlfriend,

have real lives.

- -
- The sacred urn!

Don't let it touch the ground!

Oh, my gosh! -

- -
- Not the sacred robe, Jenna!

Amphora does not tolerate personal
conflict to the detriment of the group.

Brother Brett, is there a
procedure to remove an Amphora

who has betrayed another Amphora?

Or to remove one who never deserved
to be here in the first place?

You fixed it!

Yeah, we just had to r
e-install some software.

- And I helped.
- Oh, thank you! Um....?

Dale? Dale Kettlewell.
We've met a couple times, uh...

At the End of the World party. And I
saw you at the Espresso Farm one time.

Well, welcome to ZBZ! - Actually,
I've been here before, too.

To talk to Casey about Bible Bunch.
And remember that time when you...

Oh, I get it! You're being funny!

OK, so guys, thank you so much for all
of your help. I really appreciate it.

Just think of us as your
own personal Geek Squad.

Spread the word. I could use the cash.

- Not that you offered to pay.
- Another good one!

- -
- Wait!

Um... I just had a great idea.

We were gonna do this bachelor
auction with normal guys,

but why don't we do,
like, a nerd auction?

That way we can help Gamma Psi and
the Cyprus-Rhodes nerd population.

Nerd auction?

I'll do it for ten
percent of the profits.

- You're too much!
- OK, five.

Well, I could invite the
entire campus, including Erika.

How will it help me get a date
to advertise myself as a nerd?

Girls like Erika don't like nerds.

Rusty, weren't you listening
to Professor Clarissa today?

I was distracted when she
kept doing the robot.

You can market anything
in the right package.

See, nerds make great boyfriends.
They are funny,

they are smart and loyal, and they
can address all your high-tech needs.

Which includes you, Rusty Cartwright.

- Why not?
- Erika Miller, watch out.

Here comes Rusty Cartwright
on the chopping block!

- Auction block.
- You...

...are gonna bring in big money
with that sense of humor.

- Have you ever done stand-up?
- No.

No, I have not.

"You will succeed where others fail."

Sounds like after three years, I'm
finally getting into Human Sexuality
class.

What is the big deal
with that class, anyway?

An entire class dedicated to sex,
complete with pictures of lady-parts

and man-business?

I won't look at the lady parts
if you don't want me to, though.

Aw, you'd do that for me?

Except that just leaves man-business.
So that's weird.

Casey, I'm ready for my bedtime story.

I have to read Mayor A
n-JELL-O by Thursday,

and I couldn't find the book on tape.

- I'll be right there.
- OK.

Uh, is that blood on your pants?

Huh? Oh! No, no, no.
Wine of the ancients.

Evan and I got into an
altercation at Amphora today.

Brett said he was gonna consider
how to "address our conflict."

I hope he just kicks him out like the
university did Wade, Ferret and Jeremy.

Well, at least you only
have to see him once a week.

He and I are in the same pol
i-sci class this semester,

not to mention our joint
IFC/Panhel meetings,

- where I saw him today.
- Did you talk to him?

He tried to get me to forgive him.

He just keeps rationalizing by
saying he did it for the house.

What? What'd I say?

Hurting others for the
sake of the house.

Isn't that kind of what
I did to Gamma Psi?

- It's totally different.
- How?

Because... Evan is a douche.

While you are my amazing
and great girlfriend

who promised me an erotic backrub
before we go to sleep tonight.

Evan set out to screw us, OK?

You only broke in to Gamma Psi
because you knew they cheated.

- The rest was an accident.
- Right.

So... ? - So,
I'll be back in 15 minutes.

Twenty if Beaver's fussy.

It feels so crunchy.

What is wrong with my old hair?

We don't have time to get into it.

I thought the whole point of the nerd
auction was to celebrate my nerdiness.

So why do I need a makeover?

Rusty, think of me as your
own personal Photoshop.

We are just retouching your nerdiness.

Taking you from nerd to nerd-chic!

Think Harry Potter or Tina Fey.

Those are just people with glasses.

Glasses. We have to
get you some glasses.

Are you kidding me? The one no
n-nerdy thing I have is perfect vision.

These will be nerd-chic glasses.
It's all in the packaging.

But isn't it what's on the
inside that really counts?

Oh, you're serious.

Erika will never notice
your great interior

until she is lured in by a ner
d-chic exterior.

It's uto you though.
Get the date with the dream girl,

or spend the rest of your life reading
Us Weekly,

pretending you're the one
caught between two hot co-stars.

- I don't read Us Weekly.
- Sorry, that was me last night.

So what's it gonna be?
Crunchy, or lonely?

- I guess crunchy.
- Good ansnswer.

Oh! Oh, whoa...

- What is that smell?
- Angie had a little too much to drink,

and I guess I can't expect her to
clean it up because she's passed out.

- Katherine, I am so sorry.
- She's gonna be fine.

- I rolled her on her stomach.
- Not that. Um...

I want to talk to you about the fire.

- Do you have any new details?
- Well...

And I want to thank you so
much for looking into this.

I want to reassure you that I haven't
forgotten about the SongFest
investigation.

I'm gonna get into that
just as soon as I can

because I know that Ryan,
the theater judge, gave ZBZ a zero,

- which is highly suspicious.
- You know what? Don't worry about it.

SongFest is no big deal.
It's not a fire.

No, but it is an injustice.

So...

...about your findings?

I'm still finding, actually.

I haven't found much.

Well, it's only been a day,
so I won't expect a miracle.

But I wanna tell you, Casey,
that I believe in you.

And I really misunderstood
you when we first met.

I thought you were a vapid,
amoral sorority stereotype,

but you proved me wrong.
That seldom happens, so...

Oh...

Pardon me. I'm a professor.

I'm narcoleptic. I need to
sign in before I fall asleep.

Thanks.

You know, my girlfriend's
in labor aCounty General.

Can I cut in before the baby crowns?
If that's even the right term.

See how badly I need this class? Thanks.

Hey, can I... oh.

Rebecca.

So you knocked Casey up?

Now what? Move to the suburbs,
live on love?

You're not cutting in front of me.
I've been here since 7:00am.

Oh, come on, I'd bet my own man-business

that you tricked your way up the line,
too, little missy.

Who needs trickery when
you look like this?

Hm... No more banter?

Things have to be awkward between
us now that you're dating Casey?

No, but... - Let's hope we
both don't get into the class.

You know she'll freak. It's a sex class.

- Oh, she trusts me.
- Barf.

Oh, don't "barf" me, Rebecca.
I've seen your soft side.

You're not the completely alone type.

No. And it just so happens I
did recently have an encounter.

Sounds... like an alien.

Do I know the space invader in question?

Who cares? It's not like it's
going anywhere. It's just sex,

which is the only thing that
actually works between men and women.

Don't say that.

Oh, my God. I don't know if I can be
friends with you while you're in love.

It's really unsightly. - Rebecca,
you can make fun of me all you want,

but I'd hate to see you
blow a chance to be happy.

Do you really think I should go for it?

I really do.

The space invader is Evan Chambers.

Barf.

Thanks everyone for waiting.

But you might as well go home.

There is only one ad
d-in spot for the class,

and Professor Dabia is very choosy.

- Mine.
- That's what you think.

- Who are you playing Risk with?
- Me, myself and Kettlewell.

Nice glasses, J.J.

Hey, tell me, have you figured out how
Lost is gonna end yet?

For your information,
it's called nerd-chic,

and Ashleigh said it's just the ticket
to getting me a date with Erika.

She's picking out an outfit for me, too.

Congratulations.

And congratulations to the
left side of my brain,

which has conquered Australasia.

Come on, Dale, why don't
you let her make you over?

Samir and all those
other guys are doing it.

As groovy as that sounds, I'm not gonna
go behind the A&P with you to smoke
grass.

Come on. Peer pressure?
That's beneath you, Rusty.

And I don't need a makeover.
I already have glasses.

It's about capturing the best
part of your nerd essence.

So let me get this straight.

You're a nerd, who wants
to look like a better nerd,

in order to attract
someone who's not a nerd.

You'd sing a different
tune if you experienced

the magic of retouching for yourself.

We don't believe in that in my church.

- Turns you blind.
- Is that why you need glasses?

Touché.

Oh. Look, if you're here
to yell at me again...

I'm sorry about that.
I wasn't being fair.

- So you're here to apologize?
- Kinda.

And to ask you how you deal
with the guilt. Because...

- Because why?
- Because I feel guilty, too.

About blowing me off at Panhellenic?

For... burning down the Gamma Psi house.

You burned down the
Gamma Psi house? - Shh!

Inadvertently. But yes, kind of.
It was my idea.

We broke in, and you're the only person
on this campus who can understand.

So I need to know.

How do you deal with the guilt
of getting those KTs expelled?

Well... it happened.

And there's nothing I
can do about it now.

Well, the guilt is eating away at me.

Especially because
Katherine is being so nice.

And the ZBZs are, like, falling apart.

It's getting so bad that I think I...

I think I have to confess.
Is it like that for you, too?

No. It's not. Because I
know why I did what I did.

- But people got hurt.
- And I feel sorry for them.

But how would confessing help?

But maybe if I explain
that it was an accident?

I should have probably done that to
begin with, and then everything would
be fine.

Casey, listen to me,
OK? This is a big mistake.

Maybe it is. But I can't
live with it anymore.

Hey, Ashleigh.
You sure I don't look stupid?

- Dale was making fun of me.
- He's just jealous.

And how could you look stupid?

You look like a nerd. A chic one.

There she is.

Oh, OK. Go.

Work that sweater vest.

- Hey, Erika.
- Do we know each other?

We talked in marketing the other day...

...about my engineering grant?

Oh! Right, the research guy.
You look different.

I didn't have glasses then.

I'm Rusty, and this is for you.

A nerd auction.
The ZBZs are selling you guys?

- Will you be up for auction?
- I sure will be.

- Three o'clock.
- Then I'll definitely be there.

I'll see you then. Thanks.

What an oddly-shaped room. - Yeah,
the trash chute cuts in a little,

but I'm the only one of us
displaced gals with a single.

- Presidential privilege, huh?
- Yep!

So... I'm surprised to see you, Casey.

But I'm glad you're here
so we can clear the air.

Things got a little hostile last
semester and I really hate that.

The fire made me realize
what was really important,

so I was hoping we could start fresh.

Funny you should mention
the fire because I...

Oh, my. Oh, look, Fiddler.

- You were saying?
- Um...

I was the one who broke
into the Gamma Psi house

and lit the candle that started the
fire that burned the house down.

- But it was an accident!
- You what?

I know. I'm so sorry,
but I just meant to break in.

Why? - Um, I guess I
was just so surprised

that Gamma Psi won SongFest,
so... - So you burned down our house?

Yes. But I'm here now,
and I am taking responsibility

and I am willing to
face the consequences.

I appreciate you coming forward.

I can only assume you're here
to try and make it up to us?

Make it up to you? I guess... Like how?

Hmm. Wait, I have an idea.
You could give us your house.

You mean, like, for the weekend?

Don't be silly. How is that gonna help?

I mean until ours is rebuilt.

The contractor says it'll take a
year but you know how they are.

Seems like a fair trade,
right? You burned ours down...

But that's crazy. -...which seems like
a big job for such a slender girl.

See, I don't think you acted alone.

- But I did.
- Not buying it.

So unless you want me
to implicate the entire

ZBZ sisterhood, you're gonna
have to give up your house.

And then we'll call it even. - But
we're doing a philanthropy for you.

And we really appreciate it.

Let me guess. You're staking
out Professor Dabia's car

to flirt your way into the class?

Sex professors are
notoriously ambisexual.

So I figured I'd give it a shot.

Hmm, great minds think alike.

See, that's where we part ways, because
I would never think of dating Evan.

Why do you even care?
You and I barely talk,

so who says you have the
right to tell me what to do?

Oh, maybe I don't.
But I do care about you,

and getting involved with
Evan would be a big mistake.

If you really care about me,
you'll let me have the spot in class

and stop telling me what to do.

- Not a chance.
- Hi, Professor Dabia.

You kids these days are shameless.

- Casey?
- Hi. Hey.

What are you doing?

I'm just trying to figure
out how to tell Ashleigh

I just lost the ZBZ house.
Or how to tell Cappie

that I'm getting expelled,
and I am talking to you about it.

What happened? - I confessed,
and Natalie wants the ZBZ house

in exchange for her silence.
Of course she wants our house!

How did I not see this coming? - How
could you? It's completely insane.

I know, and I'm starting
to think Natalie is, too!

Having our house, on top of all the
sympathy they got from the fire,

is exactly what she wants right now.

She's hell-bent on keeping
Gamma Psi number one.

And I'm still convinced
one of them, probably her,

rigged SongFest.

Well then, you know what?

- You might not be totally screwed.
- What do you mean?

Well, Natalie clearly
doesn't want to turn you in.

It serves her needs to
work outside of the system.

So maybe you fight fire with fire.

Uh... - That's bad choice
of words. I'm sorry.

Huh. - What I'm trying to say is:
if you do think

that Natalie was up to something
shady during SongFest,

maybe you should find out what it was.

Hmm. It's a really good place
to start. Thanks, Evan.

* Hey you Feel me *

* Was it worth an apology *

* Someday you'll see *

- Erika's not here yet.
- Oh, yeah? Really?

But you wore glasses.

Look, some of our ladies are here.

Oh...

* Someday you'll see *

* Believe me *

* Someday you'll see *

* Believe me *

- What are you doing here?
- Ash, I didn't know you'd...

This is a private party. And my bar.

Yeah, I'm sorry. We can just go.

Good idea.

He looked puffy anyway.

* Suddenly *

Hey, Ashleigh, are you OK? - Yeah,
I had to run into him sometime.

All right, guys, ready to do this?

- Rusty?
- Oh, hey. Is it Diana?

Dana. For the second time.

She's here.

Let's go.

Good afternoon, everyone.

So let's get started. -

OK, great. So, all the proceeds... -

Ninety-five percent of the proceeds

go to help Gamma Psi rebuild
from their tragic fire.

So, ladies of CRU, why settle for
the same old fraternity guys?

Our nerds can impress your parents
and program your computers.

So, let's start with...
Rusty Cartwright.

-

Rusty is the winner of
an engineering grant.

Which is a really big deal.
He once built his own DVR

and look how cute he is.

- So, do I have any bidders?
- Twenty dollars!

- Twenty-five!
- Thirty!

Maybe I'll get two girls tonight.

- Nice.
- Forty dollars!

Fifty dollars!

Going once, going twice,

and sold to Erika from Tri-Pi.

How sweet. But don't be fooled!

He looks nice, but as
soon as he gets a chance,

Rusty will cheat on you, just like
every other guy in the history of the
planet!

Do we have thirty? Thirty for thi
sizzling electrical engineer?

What was that all about? Ash, hey!

You sabotaged me in front of everyone.

You were supposed to help me get a date.

One date. One date with one girl.

But the minute another girl bid on you,

you were all over that, too.

It's an auction.

It was a joke! Is this about Fisher?

OK, I'm not Fisher.

I'm starting to think all
guys are potential Fishers.

Oh, that's not fair.

I saw you blow off that science
girl who tried to talk to you.

You may be a nerd,
but you're not very nice.

Yes, I am!

- Fifty!
- And sold!

To the vixen with the
retainer in the front row.

Oh, my God! Ryan Yarlbrough.

In la flesh. Do I know you?

Uh, well, I guess you
could say I'm a fan.

You're such a talented actor.
Are you rehearsing a new play?

Hair.

Is that the one where
everyone gets naked?

It's so much more than that.
But yes, I will be nude in it.

Awesome. Um...

Is it cheesy if I ask
you for your autograph?

You're kind of famous on campus.

Weren't you one of the
celebrity SongFest judges?

I was going to ask you there,
but I got kind of star-struck.

You were at SongFest?

Yes. Um, and I'm wondering,

as an actor and celebrity
SongFest judge,

how does one, um, prepare?

- In the theater...
- And in SongFest judging?

Sure. It's all about authenticity.

For instance, last semester when I did
Fiddler,

I was able to transport myself to
fin de siècle tsarist Russia

by eating nothing but
beet soup for two months

- and growing a beard.
- "Fiddler"... on the Roof?

Yes. So, are we gonna
go get a drink, or what?

I'd love to, but won't Natalie mind?

Natalie? - Yeah,
I think I saw you with her?

- Isn't she your girlfriend?
- No, I am single and available.

Natalie and I just made love.

In exchange for giving ZBZ
a zero in SongFest, right?

You know, sex as a negotiating
tactic in the theater is universal.

We're noas puritanical as the rest of y.

And yocan't prove ything.

Uh, maybe I can.

Um, it was so nice to meet you, Ryan.

I thought you might be a little
hungry after all that bidding.

Oh, that's nice,
but I'm actually on this cleanse.

No problem. Oh, I wanna reassure you,

despite what Ashleigh said,
I'm no cheater.

That's fine. So how's tomorrow nigh

Can you come by Tri-Pi around eight?

Eight is great. It's a date.

And don't forget your tools. -

Tools? - A few of the other
girls might need you, too.

We all pooled our money
together to bid on you.

- How many of you?
- Six? Seven?

- -
- You can start with my TiVo,

and I know Pam's laptop
has been acting up.

Would you also be willing to tutor?

Our house GPA sucks this year.

I can't believe we missed the nerd
auction. I always wanted my own nerd.

Well, maybe next year.

Easy for you to say. You have Rusty.

Bing just landed.

I don't like that look
in your eye, Rebecca.

You shouldn't have tried so
hard to get me not to date Evan.

You can have the spot in human
sexuality class. Just walk away.

You know I hate following orders.
Sorry, Cap.

Wh...

I can't believe she's gonna hook
up with Chambers just to spite me.

When someone's a friend, you have
to let them make their own mistakes.

Like when you let me lick that battery.

That was a mistake.
But you had to let me make it.

Three times.

- Hey.
- Hey!

It's good to see you.

Yeah, sorry to leave
you hanging like that.

At the Fairy Tale Ball.
Maybe I can make it up to you?

You mean, like a date?

- Yeah, like a date.
- Then it's a date.

OK.

Thank you so much for meeting
me on such short notice.

- Ow!
- Sorry.

Uh... I assume you're here
to offer me the ZBZ house?

Uh, actually, we're waiting for
one other person to meet us.

Sorry I'm late.

So, what is this all about?

Well, um... I'm here to give you
my final report about the fire.

Really? - I really didn't
need to investigate.

Because I know who started the fire.

I did. But it was an accident.

I was investigating
the SongFest judging.

I know that is not an excuse,
but I hope it's a mitigating factor,

and maybe someday you'll forgive me.

For burning down my house?

Fair enough, fair enough.

I just couldn't stand keeping the
truth from you anymore, Katherine.

Because I respect you so much.

So much, I think that there is
something else you need to know.

What could possibly top that?

I confessed everything
to Natalie yesterday

and in exchange, she blackmailed
me for the ZBZ house.

Oh, and she was so
obsessed with beating ZBZ

that she slept with
Judge Ryan Yarlbrough

in exchange for Gamma
Psi's SongFest victory.

Is that what all your provocative
lingerie is for, Natalie?

You running around trading sexual
favors for Blue Ribbon points?

You may think you're above
sorority politics, Katherine,

but I am the one keeping us on top.

And you can't prove anything.

Those score sheets burned in the fire.

Oh, um...

Do you mean these score sheets?

Oh, uh...

Like I said, um,
do you mean these score sheets?

- Where did you get those?
- Where else?

Your house, the night of the fire.

Looks like we both screwed up.

But if your mistake comes out,
Gamma Psi's reputation will be ruined.

Maybe for good.

I think, before, you mentioned
something about the possibility of
calling it even?

Right?

And I was like " I burnt
down your house by accident,

but you're a devious slut on purpose."

Oh, Cappie'll be here any minute.

Oh. My. God. So I can finally
tell the sisters it's over?

Yep. Katherine will
never speak to me again,

but there's nothing I can
do about that. - Casey!

Hey Cap. Can you believe Casey?
She's like a sorority vigilante!

I figured out a solution
to our Gamma Psi problem.

And I had some help
from an unlikely source.

Oh, hang on, I'm still imagining
you as a sorority vigilante.

You're sweaty, hanging out in a ai
r-conditioning duct,

with your biceps just
ripped to shreds. It's sexy.

OK, OK... The unlikely source was Evan.

Uh, don't be mad.
I thought he would understand.

I know you think what I did
is different than what he did,

but let's face it, you can't be
objective because you're my awesome
boyfriend.

What is with the women in
my life giving this douche

- endless second chances?
- Uh, the women in your life?

That came out wrong. I meant Rebecca.

That really came out wrong.

OK, so when you were
asking Evs for advice,

I was trying to give some to Rebecca.

Advice, that is.

Give some advice to stay away from Evan,

and she wouldn't listen.

Oh, Rebecca not listen to
someone telling her what to do?

- I'm shocked.
- Is that weird for you?

Me and Rebecca talking?

We both might get into
that human sexuality class.

Oh! Human sexuality? Perfect!

And why would it be weird for me?

It's not weird for you that
I talked to Evan, right?

Of course not.

I mean, that would make me a hypocrite.

Yeah. It's not weird. It's normal.

So normal, it's mundane! Yeah,
I'm bored by it.

All these girls are fawning
over me, but to Erika,

- I was just a nerd.
- I warned you.

I, on the other hand, had a great night
with Bridget the biomedical engineer.

Sure, she's got a couple of facial tics,

but they were only mildly off-putting.

And that retainer comes out,
if you know what I mean.

No, not really.

Hate to rub it in, but I'm
actually going to meet her n.

Gonna use some of my cut from
the auction to buy her a cocoa.

Well, see ya.

I'm sorry for not remembering
your name at Dobler's.

- Dana.
- Well, you should be sorry.

We actually have a lot in common.

And did you know that
I've had a crush on you

since we met at orientation?
Of course not!

You know, I liked you even
when you were The Anchor.

You did?

Guys like you are the reason my mother
wanted me to be a kindergarten teacher.

Wait, what? - Kindergarten teachers
are girly and nonthreatening.

But, oh, boy,
you become a female engineer

and you just sentence yourself
to dying alone in a lab!

I don't want you to die. - Because
even guys who are dorks, like you,

they think they're too good
for you and want, you know,

some hot sorority chick instead! But
where does that leave girls like me,
Rusty, huh?

Yes, I know I'm a little of
f-putting when you first meet me.

And yes, I had a lazy eye until
corrective surgery at age ten.

And yes, I have two pet salamanders,

which some people find weird, and, sure,

sometimes I have gum in my mouth
and it falls out while I'm talking!

But, you know, does that mean I don't
deserve a chance from a fellow nerd?

That I'm not worth getting to know?

Because I'm not just a nerd,
Rusty. I'm a woman.

I'm a woman with needs.

I will never forget your name again.

Maybe I could...
buy you a cup of coffee?

Are you freaking kidding me?
You blew it, Rusty.

It is way too late!

Sorry I'm late, brethren. I was
just delivering a crowning baby...

Am I in the wrong abandoned
water pumping station?

Looks like we're both out.

Hi.

Sorry I yelled at you.

In front of every girl in school.

So, how did it go with Erika anyway?

It didn't.

And Ash, I should have been more
sensitive to how it felt for you to
have to see Fisher.

You deserve so much
better than that jerk.

Thanks.

Maybe I should have
bid on a nerd myself.

Nerds can be jerks, too.
I've been a jerk.

You know that engineering
girl from Dobler's?

She liked me for a year and a half,

and I didn't even notice.

Yeah, she's awkward when you
first meet her, but so am I.

Aw, well I'm sure you can get
her to give you another chance.

I think she has too much sel
f-respect for that.

Well, then she's missing out.

Because any girl would
be lucky to have you.

You're welcome.

I can't believe you got us both in.

- So Professor Dabia's straight.
- Oh, no. He's gay.

Sorry, you're not his type.
But he thinks I'm fabulous.

- Oh, of course.
- And Casey really won't mind

us both being in a sex class?

I'd tell you how much she trusts me,

but I don't want you to vomit
all over yourself before class.

- Thanks.
- Speaking of Casey, she, um...

She said I have to apologize to you.

I'm supposed to let the women in
my life make their own choices

when it comes to the
people they associate with.

Even if those people are
douches like Evan Chambers.

Fine. Tell Casey I accept.

So you going out with Chambers or not?

- So much for butting out.
- All right. Fine.

But just know, as your man friend,

I will be there when he
inevitably screws you over.

Don't worry about it.

But thanks.

Hi. Um...

I'm here to return my VPJ clipboard.

I'm assuming you'll need to replace me.

Indeed.

- OK. I'm just gonna...
- Which is a shame,

considering you are clearly
clever enough for the job,

given the way you bluffed
Natalie yesterday.

What do you mean?

I know those were not the
real judges' score sheets,

because that was not my clipboard.

Yours is hidden... too well.
I couldn't find it.

So I bought an identical one.

I'm... How did you know?

The spring on mine is slightly rusted.

It makes a very appealing
sproingy sound when opened.

And I miss it.

Sorry.

So you're not gonna turn me in? Why?

Can't you just see the headline?
"Sorority Mayhem.

Sexual favors and fiery revenge."

Lifetime would probably make
several movie adaptations,

and they'd hire some mannish starlet
to play me because I'm tall.

And I don't need that kind of publicity.

Right.

Um, you know, I bet I
could find your clipboard,

- if I keep looking.
- You know what? Don't bother.