Good Times (1974–1979): Season 2, Episode 21 - My Girl Henrietta - full transcript

♪ Good times Any time
you meet a payment ♪

♪ Good times Any
time you need a friend ♪

♪ Good times Any time
you're out from under ♪

♪ Not gettin' hassled
Not gettin' hustled ♪

♪ Keepin' your
head Above water ♪

♪ Makin' a wave when you can ♪

♪ Temporary layoffs Good times ♪

♪ Easy credit
ripoffs Good times ♪

♪ Scratchin' and
survivin' Good times ♪

♪ Hangin' in a chow
line Good times ♪

♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em ♪



♪ Good times ♪♪

I'll get it.

Yeah, it's probably
President Ford

calling to tell us
why the country's

in such bad shape.

I just hope he
ain't calling collect.

Oh, James.

Hello?

Oh, Henrietta.

No, J.J.'s not here.

Listen, Henrietta,

we've all just been
dying to meet you,

so why don't you come over
and have dinner with us tonight,

and think of what a big
surprise that'll be for J.J.



Good.

Then we'll see
you in a little while.

Okay. Bye-bye, sweetheart.

James, we're
finally going to meet

J.J.'s girl, Henrietta.

I'm so excited.

I can hardly wait to see
what kind of girl she is.

Baby, I can't think
of but two kinds.

There's the dumb kind

you bring home
to meet your folks,

and the hip kind you bring
home when your folks ain't there.

Oh, which kind was I?

Yes?

Well...

See, I just thought
of a third kind.

See, you was the kind

that most guys hope to marry,

but just wasn't lucky
enough to catch.

Oh, James,

that is the sweetest,
most touching way

I ever heard you

squirm out of anything yet.

You know I mean every word.

Oh.

You know something, James?

You should have been a typist.

You sure are partial
to the touch system.

Hey, Michael, Thelma, you
all come out here a minute.

I've got some good news for you.

What is it, Ma?

Yeah, what's up?

Henrietta is coming to dinner,

and I don't want you

to mention one word about this

when J.J. gets home.

It's going to be a surprise.

Thelma,

I want you to help
me finish dinner, okay?

Okay, Mom.

And, Michael? Yeah, Mom?

I want you to scrub up good,

comb your hair, and
put on another shirt.

For some dopey girl?

Mama, the guest

is the one who's
supposed to do all that stuff,

not me... I live here.

You need some help

making a wardrobe selection?

Let me see.

Should I wear my
shirt with the stripes

or the one with the wide collar?

Oh, go on, go, go.

Honey, you know,
it wouldn't hurt

if you put on another shirt too.

For some old dopey girl?

James.

Let me see, should I
wear my brown shirt

or my brown shirt?

Oh, James.

Mm.

Ma's cooking...

Yeah, on the appreciation
scale of 1 to 10,

your cooking gets a big 9.9.

Only 9.9?

Yeah, Thelma's
cooking gets a 0.1.

After you take
the first swallow,

you point one to
the Pepto Bismol.

For all you know, Totem Pole,

I might have cooked
what you just inhaled.

Impossible.

My nose is programmed
to cut off automatically,

and my stomach
goes into instant reject.

J.J., what are all
those newspapers for?

Maybe he wants you
to housebreak him.

Mom, what I have here
is a few of the morning,

the afternoon, and a few

of the neighborhood throwaways

that I picked up

before they were thrown away.

I want

to closely scrutinize
the possibility

of getting a full-time job.

What happened to your
part-time ushering job?

Part-time ain't good enough, Ma.

I need a full-time job.

You're looking at
a brand-new me...

J.J. the Conscientious,
J.J. the Mature,

J.J... The fool.

To show you how mature I am, Ma,

I will ignore the child.

Moving on.

As you know, Ma,
in a couple of months,

I'll be graduating
from high school,

therefore, I'm going to start
thinking about my future now.

You know, it's a
cold, ugly world

I've got out there to face.

And with your face out there,

it'll be colder and uglier.

What?

You Frankenstein.

All right, all right,
that's enough you two.

J.J., you know, it
is hard to believe

that you're starting
to take life serious.

Well, I am, Ma.

Now, let's see
what fantastic jobs

are available for
James Evans Jr.

"Electronic engineer,

"digital analog
circuit design...

"Must have
"telecommunications experience

"in modern design
and active filter retreat.

"Semiconductor manufacturing
expertise preferred.

Salary commensurate
with experience."

Moving on to the next ad.

Hmm, this one ain't no easier.

Moving on to the next page.

Hey, Ma, here's one in my bag...

"Salesman wanted...

Young, eager, and bright."

I'm young, I'm eager...

And you'd better quit
while you're ahead.

Ma, can we trade her in
for a future draft choice?

Thelma, stop
bothering your brother.

Now, let's see

what they want the young, eager,

bright salesman to sell.

"Cemetery plots."

Hmm, "Must have car."

Car? Are they kidding?

They must mean "hearse."

Maybe you'd better
move on to the next paper.

Wait a minute, Ma.

Here's something
that looks good...

Restaurant manager.

"Large restaurant

"has opening for
management position.

"Excellent salary and benefits.

Send resume."

That's "resumé," stupid.

Oh, resumé.

Then the job must be
in a French restaurant.

J.J.,

a resumé is a written
history of all the jobs

and work experiences you've
had in the past few years.

But suppose you ain't had
no job or work experience,

then what do you send?

Your regrets.

I'm sorry, Mama,

but I don't know why I have
to go through all this trouble

just to eat dinner at
home. But, Michael,

you look so cute.

Mama, why do I have
to look cute to eat?

Why can't I look like J.J.?

Hey!

Mom, I could understand
getting dressed

for Julian Bond or Muhammad Ali,

but some dopey, old...

Michael, why don't you
go into Thelma's room

and read the funnies?

Man, you can't say
two words around here

without being sent
out to another room.

J.J., what I can't understand

is why all of the sudden
concern about your future

and making big money?

I've got my reasons,
Ma. I've got my reasons.

J.J., you'll never find anything
in the papers you qualify for.

Then I'll go to the
employment agency,

and I'll say to that
personnel director,

"It's about time
you all saw the light

and hired the great
Kid Dyn-o-mite."

Aah.

Junior, what you doing
with all these newspapers?

I'm looking for a
full-time job, Dad.

Say what?

That's right, Dad.

I think it's about time

that I go out into the world

and become the master
of my own destiny.

Yeah, well, master
without a good education,

the only destiny
you're going to have

is a swift kick in the butt.

Well, I'm going to have
a high school diploma.

Oh, Junior, nowadays, that
ain't enough to get you as high

as the bottom of the heap.

I'm telling you, it's
rough out there, son.

What you need to
be concentrating on

is a junior college

and one of them
big-time art schools.

Well, Dad, I tell you right now.

My mind is definitely not on
junior college or art school.

But, J.J., what could
be more important

than your art?

Henrietta and...

the possibility of
getting married.

Married?

You?

And why not?

Henrietta digs sweets,

and I am the
Almond Joy of her life.

Yeah, that's right,

a big nut covered
with chocolate.

Go ahead, have your frivolity,

but I think I'm in love.

You think you're in love, huh?

Well, I've been
hit by something.

The mere thought of
Henrietta turns on my ignition,

but rides the sparks
that start my motor racing.

Junior, you don't need no
wife. You need a mechanic.

J.J., there's no need

to discuss marriage for you.

You're too broke,
too irresponsible,

and too young.

James, something smells strange

all of a sudden.

First, it's this full-time job

and now this marriage nonsense.

We're going to find
out what it's all about

as soon as Henrietta gets here.

When Henrietta gets where?

Here.

We invited her over for dinner.

It was going to be a surprise.

Well, since I hate surprises,
and Henrietta hates dinner,

I'll call her and tell
her to stay home.

You'll do nothing of the kind.

Put that phone down.

Oh, Ma, Henrietta
can't come here.

This building's dangerous.
Some weirdo may bother her.

I come to this
building every day

and nobody bothers me.

That's because

weirdos got respect
for each other.

Oh, that must be Henrietta now.

Don't open it, Ma.
Pretend we're not home,

or better yet, I'll write a
note saying we moved

and shove it under the door.

I'll shove you under that door.

Answer it.

Answer the door, Junior.

Surprise.

My Lord.

I invite her over to dinner,

but I didn't know

she was going to bring company.

Uh... Henrietta,

I want you to meet
the beautiful lady

who made this historic
meeting possible,

my mother, Mrs. James Evans.

Oh, Mrs. Evans,

this is one of
my biggest thrills.

That's quite a compliment.

And...

I want you to meet the old
block that I'm the chip off of,

my father, James Evans Senior.

I'm the block, but
the chip is cracked.

It's nice to meet
you, Mr. Evans.

Same here, Henrietta.

And I want you to meet
my brilliant little kid brother,

Michael, and my sister,
the weirdo Thelma.

You know, you all look
exactly like I had you pictured.

You don't look nothing
like we had you pictured.

What my wife means is that...

you're much prettier
than we thought you'd be.

Yes.

A lot much.

Thanks.

You know, I'm going to
let you and Mrs. Evans in

on a little secret.

Secret?

Yeah, I mean,

you're really lucky
to have a son like J.J.

He's the most
adorable dude I know.

Henrietta's only fault
is telling it like it is.

Junior, we can see how it is.

Thelma, we're going to be

a little while before dinner,

so why don't you take
Henrietta into your room

and let her hear some
of your new albums.

But I don't have
any new albums, Ma.

Then take her in there

and hum some of the
ones you don't have.

Ah, yeah, okay.

Come on, Henrietta,

I've got a couple
of really bad records

I bet you haven't heard yet.

Well, don't be too sure, Thelma.

After all, I do get around.

J.J. Uh-oh.

Something tells me
things are going to be said

that a little kid
shouldn't hear,

but I'm staying anyway.

Now, you go in our room
and read the funny papers.

Daddy, I already
read the funny papers,

and they don't
have as much action

as there is out here.

Go!

Oh, Daddy, how come
I always got to split

when things get exciting?

You think it's exciting?

Now, keep standing there, hear?

Boy, I'll tell you,

there's nothing I like better

than a dull evening at home.

Okay, J.J., you've got
a lot of explaining to do,

so get with it, and I
want the whole story.

We ain't got to hear
the whole story, Baby.

We can guess the beginning,

because we've
just seen the middle.

Does that mean you don't want
us to do anything about this?

I don't know what
we can do about it,

other than make sure
Junior understands

everything there is to know

about this kind of situation.

Well, what is there
to understand?

He understands that
one plus one makes three.

Junior, you ain't got
to marry Henrietta,

and there ain't no
law that says you do.

James! But, Dad...

Florida, when a girl
gets pregnant nowadays,

it's her fault.

I mean, there's
all sorts of ways...

There's all sorts of ways
to prevent this kind of thing,

and she could have done it
by herself just by saying "no".

James, now, there
are a whole lot of things

that a girl can do by herself,

but getting pregnant
ain't one of them.

Now, Henrietta had
a willing accomplice.

But, ma...

Now, how do you know he
was a willing accomplice?

I bet it's just a con job to
trap Junior into marrying her.

But, Dad... Ah, Junior, shut up.

This ain't none
of your business.

James, this is crazy.

You just said yourself

that J.J. wasn't prepared
for what's out there.

Who would want to trap him
into bringing home the bacon

when he can't
even catch the pig?

Florida, the girls get
pregnant all the time

just to land a good catch.

James, J.J. is my son
too, and I love him dearly,

but I don't think an
unemployed teenager

is a good catch.

Oh, well, he is.

Now, he may not seem
like much right now, Baby,

but one day, he's
going to be a great artist.

I think the girl's
just using her head

trying to get in on
the ground floor.

But, Dad... Junior, I
told you to shut up.

You ain't got nothing
to do with this.

Girl, you sure got a
lot of good records

to dance to.

Ain't nothing I like better
to do than to dance.

Oh, really?

Yeah, you get me out
there on the dance floor,

I'll look just like a butterfly.

Well, at least, I used to.

Now I look a little more
like the Goodyear blimp.

Hey, Thelma, what's wrong?

I mean, you ain't
said much of nothing

ever since we got in here.

I'm sorry, Henrietta.

I guess it's hard for me
to say much that matters,

because, well, I
really don't know you.

Aw, what's to know?

I'm Taurus. I'll be 17.

I'm an only child.
I'm in the 11th grade.

I'm pregnant.

As a result, I look
terrible in a bikini.

Henrietta,

what was it like
when you found out?

I mean, were you upset?

Did you cry or what?

Well, that's kind
of hard to explain.

See, at first, I was scared,

and then I started
feeling more like a woman

and less like a little girl,

and then I started thinking
about what it took to be a woman

and a mother,

and, wow, it got
scary all over again.

I would have been
scared from the jump.

If I told my parents
I was pregnant,

they'd explode.

Girl, my parents
were the last thing

for me to worry about.

It's like when I told my mother,

she just stared,
and then she said,

"I wonder if my
becoming a grandmother

means I have to start
mixing Geritol with my gin?"

What did your father say?

Oh, nothing much,

just that I'm getting
everything I deserve

for not being more careful.

Well, with all the
birth-control information

that's floating around,
why weren't you?

I had a very good reason.

I never thought
I'd get pregnant.

You know, I've
dated a lot of guys

who tried to push me
farther than I wanted to go,

but then I'd start thinking
of things that could happen

I didn't want to happen,

and, hey, Henrietta,

I'm not trying to put
you down or anything,

but it just wasn't worth it.

Well, I felt the same way,

but, girl, one day, I
thought I was in love,

and, boom, it was worth it.

But there's more kinds of love

than physical love.

Now you tell me.

And what you going to
do about finishing school?

Well, what can I do?

I mean, the three
R's just don't make it

when they're Reading,
Writing, and Raising a Kid.

How does my brother
feel about all of this?

Oh, Thelma, J.J.'s
been really terrific,

you know, like, if
it wasn't for him,

I don't know what
kind of shape I'd be in.

James, taking sides
in this is all wrong.

Now, we're talking
about two kids

who may be on the
verge of ruining their lives,

and we've got to do
something about it.

Well, what can we do about it?

This boy can't
even raise his self.

His idea of raising a baby

would probably be to feed
it strained Snicker bars.

James, finding a solution
isn't going to be easy,

but we've got to find one.

Florida, why do we
have to find a solution?

How come her folks
can't find a solution?

She's the one with the problem.

Okay, then, we'll let
them find a solution,

and if they demand
a wedding, fine.

We'll even split the tab.

We'll let them
bring the shotgun,

and we'll bring the shells.

Can I say one thing?

What?

The baby ain't mine.

What?

That's right.

Henrietta did a crazy
thing before we met

in a moment of passion.

I didn't even know it happened

until I noticed that
her 100-dollar figure

was becoming a
victim of inflation.

Junior, tell me
one thing, please,

if it ain't your baby,

then why you want to marry her?

I didn't say I
want to marry her.

I said I was thinking
about marrying her,

because I think
I'm in love with her.

Well, Junior,

we can't stop you from thinking

you're in love with Henrietta,

but if you're thinking
about marriage,

think again, hear?

That's right.

Now, the legal age to get
married in Chicago is 21.

You're only 18,

which means you must
have our permission...

And we ain't about to give it.

Mr. and Mrs. Evans, please,

you don't have to get on
J.J.'s case because of me.

J.J., look,

I really appreciate you
wanting to marry me,

but the fact is

I'm not marrying
you or anybody else.

Well, the least you could do

is wait for me to ask you
before you turn me down.

J.J., I like you more
than I do anybody else,

but right now marriage
ain't what I want.

But what about the baby?

It needs a father.

Not you.

Henrietta, tell me something.

How your folks feel
about your condition?

Mr. Evans, for years,

my folks ain't felt
nothing but hangovers.

Well, you sure ain't going

to help them rush
to get on the wagon

by making them grandparents

without bringing home a husband.

Henrietta, what will you do?

Where will you live?

I haven't thought
about that yet.

Well, look, Henrietta,

you can't go back to your folks.

I mean, you was having
a rough enough time

by yourself.

Now, there's going
to be two of you.

I know.

Henrietta, if you're
not for marriage,

it seems to me that
the best thing is...

Put the baby up for adoption.

That makes sense.

I can't see no other way.

Well?

I'm keeping my baby.

But, Henrietta,

you're hardly more
than a child yourself.

You've got no job.
You've got no education,

What can you possibly
give to that child?

Love, Mrs. Evans.

I need something to love.

That's something my
parents never gave me.

It's a lonely world out there.

It's going to be a lot
less lonely with my baby.

Well, what about us, Henrietta?

J.J., we can still keep
seeing each other.

Nothing's changed that.

Yeah, I know, we can go
out and have two Big Macs

and one little Mac.

Henrietta,

I wish I didn't
have to say this,

because I think I
know how you feel,

but, honey,

you're only going to
be hurting that baby.

Life for both of you is
going to be pure hell.

I've got nothing else.

I'm willing to take that chance.

Well... I guess I'd better go.

Henrietta, don't go.
Stay for a while, please.

J.J., you're a really
beautiful dude.

It's been really nice
meeting all of y'all,

really, it has.

Bye.

Goodbye, sweetheart...
and remember,

if you ever need
us, we're right here.

Ma, am I terrible?

I feel sorry for her,

but I'm glad it's not me.

There but for the
grace of God, Thelma.

No, there's nothing
to be ashamed of

in what you're thinking.

Now, if y'all through

with the birds and the bees,

let's get down with
some black-eyed peas.

I'm starving.

♪ Just lookin' Out
of the window ♪

♪ Watchin' the asphalt grow ♪

♪ Thinkin' how it all
Looks hand-me-down ♪

♪ Good times, good times ♪

♪ Keepin' your
head Above water ♪

♪ Makin' a wave when you can ♪

♪ Temporary layoffs ♪

♪ Good times ♪

Good Times is recorded on
tape before a live audience.

♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em? ♪

♪ Good times ♪♪