Good Times (1974–1979): Season 2, Episode 22 - The Enlistment - full transcript

♪ Good times ♪

♪ Any time you meet a payment ♪

♪ Good times ♪

♪ Any time you need a friend ♪

♪ Good times ♪

♪ Any time You're
out from under ♪

♪ Not gettin' hassled
Not gettin' hustled ♪

♪ Keepin' your
head Above water ♪

♪ Makin' a wave when you can ♪

♪ Temporary layoffs Good times ♪

♪ Easy credit
rip-offs Good times ♪



♪ Scratchin' and
survivin' Good times ♪

♪ Hangin' in a chow
line Good times ♪

♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em? ♪

♪ Good times ♪♪

Thelma, can you
button this, please?

Okay.

Stand still, Michael.

There.

Thank you.

Oh!

Hey, Thelma, ain't
breakfast ready yet?

Relax, Popsicle stick.

Can't you see it's being made?

Boy, things sure get done a
lot faster when Ma's around.



Well, I'm doing the best I can.

Is it my fault Ma
had to leave town

all of the sudden?

Boy, sending you in for Ma

is like sending in Tiny
Tim for Stevie Wonder.

J.J., why don't you
stop picking on Thelma?

Thanks, Michael.

You're welcome,
but I agree with J.J.

I'm so hungry I can eat a horse.

And whatever she cooks is
going to taste like one, anyway.

Would you two
stop picking on me!

Oh, Thelma, the
coffee's boiling over.

Well, turn the flame down.

Well, you're the
woman of the house,

you handle it.

Look at that...

You've got two
bighead brothers in here,

and nobody wants to help.

That's because we
enjoy watching you

in your misery.

If you enjoy misery,
stand in front of a mirror.

You've got some nerve,

you old Frankenstein face!

Why don't you just
stop hassling me, okay?

I don't want to hear...

All right, Junior, all right.

That's enough,
now. Knock it off.

You see your sister
is having a hard time.

My shirt ready yet, baby girl?

Yeah, Daddy, I just finished it.

Daddy...

I didn't realize I put
that much starch on it.

I'm sorry, Daddy. I
was trying so hard.

Well, that's all right, baby,

I just have to carry
wide packages today,

that's all.

I mean, after all, I am
the assistant foreman

at Brady's.

I can carry anything I want to.

I'm sorry, Daddy.

Ma went to a
funeral in Cleveland,

and we've got
the stiff right here.

How would you like a
stiff lip with no starch in it.

Thelma?

Michael, leave me alone.

I'm having enough trouble.

Daddy, can you tell
Thelma that the...

Now, Michael, you
heard your sister,

leave her alone, son.

All right, I just
wanted to tell her

that the oatmeal is burning.

Oh, no!

Thelma,

are you sure you didn't
do the special effects

for Towering Inferno?

Junior, how would you
like me to press your face?

Oh, Daddy, I'm making
a mess of everything.

No, you're not, baby girl.

I mean, everything considered,
you're doing a great job.

Your mother would
be real proud of you.

Now, come on, y'all,

let's sit down and eat
this delicious breakfast

Thelma has made for us.

Yeah, go right on, Michael.

Don't be pushing me, J.J.

All right, stop.

Come on in here.

Maybe it's a reprieve
from the governor.

Hello?

Florida!

Mom! All right!

Hi, baby!

Well, we was hoping
we'd hear from you.

Oh, yeah,
everything's fine here.

Uh-huh.

Yeah, your daughter's doing
a great job of taking over.

Hmm.

Yeah, just a minute, baby.

Listen, your mother wants
to say hello to all of you,

but make it quick now,
because it's long distance.

Hi, Mama, I'm fine.

Hi, Ma, I'm fine too.

Ahem.

Hello, mother dear,

this is your eldest son here.

Let me give you a long list
of all the disasters going...

Uh... yeah, Junior's
just jiving, baby.

Everything here is fine.

Just relax and
enjoy the funeral.

Daddy!

I mean...

Have a nice time
with your Aunt Clara.

Oh, she's the one that died?

In that case, have a nice
time with your folks, baby.

Yeah, Florida, I know
it's a sad occasion,

but your aunt did
live a nice, long life.

Huh?

Oh, baby, my job at
Brady's is going fine.

Couldn't be better.

And I'm doing great at
my movie ushering job.

Look, Florida, everything
here is under control.

Ain't no sense in
you rushing back.

Yeah, but I wish you'd get here

by dinnertime.

Nothing important, baby,

just Junior
fat-mouthing as usual.

Yeah, well, we all miss you.

We love you... especially me.

All right. Bye, baby.

Bye, Ma!

Junior, your
membership in this family

is hanging by a
very slender thread.

I'm about to put
your birth certificate

in escrow.

Now, go ahead and eat some food.

Boy, this... looks delicious.

Not too burned?

No, baby girl... not at all.

Can't hardly wait to
eat it, can you, Junior?

Looks delicious.

Uh-oh.

Well, I've been sitting here

fat-mouthing with
you kids so much,

I've made myself late for work.

But, Dad, what
about your breakfast?

Well, good as it looks, Thelma,
I'm going to have to skip it.

I've got to get dressed,
but y'all eat it all up, hear?

It'll help you grow
up big and strong.

Then how come
you don't eat it, Dad?

Because I'm already
grown, and shut up.

Oh, Dad, don't
forget about the shirt.

Oh, yeah, I don't
want to forget that.

It'll be all right

once I hammer
down these sleeves.

Mm-mm-mm.

Thelma, I hate to be picky,

but there's one
thing that I hate,

and that's an unfluffed pillow.

Well, the pillow
between your ears

ain't fluffed too tough either.

You've got some nerve
talking about pillows...

Look, J.J., I'm tired
of you criticizing me.

All right, all right,
y'all, please, stop it.

If there was ever a time

I wasn't in the
mood for hassling,

it's right now.

Oh, Dad, you're home.

No, I ain't home, fool,

I'm sunning on the
beach in Acapulco.

What I mean is that
you're home early.

Yeah, I'm home
early, Junior, so what?

Something wrong, Daddy?

No, ain't nothing wrong,

except you heard the
latest unemployment figure

is 8.3?

Well, you can add
me to the statistics...

I just got laid off.

Not you, Daddy, you're
assistant-foreman.

Yeah, and the foreman's
going to be standing

in front of me at the
unemployment office.

Seems like things
slowed down at the plant,

so Brady put a bunch of us

on what they call
"temporary layoff."

Well, Daddy, that's not so bad.

It's just temporary.

Baby girl, if there's one thing
I've come to find out in life

is permanent, it's
a temporary layoff.

The president

said that the economy's
going to turn around.

Yeah, I'd like
to turn it around,

bend it over, and
give it a swift kick.

Hey, one of y'all
answer that, please.

If it's your mother,

I don't know how I'm
going to tell her about this.

I'll handle this.

Hello.

Evans house of happiness.

Oh, hello, Mr. Carter.

Yeah, sure, I can
be in early today.

No, no problem at all.

Okay, bye.

Well, Dad, you look
like a black cloud...

So I'm here to bring
you the silver lining.

That was my boss
from the movie theater.

He wants me to
come in early today.

So what?

So I'll be taking up
the financial slack

in the family.

Junior, what are
you talking about?

Well, Dad, like I told y'all,

I've been doing great at
my movie ushering job,

and the reason he wants
me to come in early today

has got to be to
give me a promotion.

He wants to make
me the head "ush."

What makes you so sure?

Because whenever
there's a delicate situation,

he always calls
on me to handle it.

Like last week,

we had this little
problem up in the balcony.

You know, this couple
was getting too cozy,

hugging and stuff like that,

but I handled it diplomatically.

Well, what did you do?

I threw both those guys out.

He probably wants to make me
head of the candy concession.

That means a raise

and all of the Milky
Ways I can eat.

With those teeth, you
can cost them a fortune.

Hey, wait a minute.

It's probably something
even more bigger than that.

Mr. Carter's probably
going to retire.

He probably wants to
make me the manager.

Imagine me, Brother J.J.,

manager of the
Lakeshore Theater.

I've been your cashier
for 18 years, Mr. Carter.

I didn't think the
Lakeshore Theater

would ever close.

Neither did I,
Edna, neither did I.

But why?

Why?

Because the last 10
pictures we showed

had more people in the cast
than we had in the audience.

My mother told me not
to go into show business.

Hey, Edna, don't cry.

When I take over as
boss, I'll be a great boss.

Well, Mr. Carter, all set
for our big conference?

Should I cut off the phones?

It's already been taken care of.

Good thinking,
Mr. Carter, good thinking.

Mr. Carter, you know,

I appreciate this
confidence you have in me,

and rest assured,

whatever it is
you want me to do,

I'm willing to go all out.

You certainly will.

I like you, J.J.

And I like you too.

Now, listen, J.J.,
starting today,

there'll be a new
sign on the marquee...

"Closed Permanently."

Oh, a new disaster film?

Who's in it?

You.

Try to cheer up, Daddy.

Yeah, Daddy, things
are not that bad.

J.J.'s getting a raise,

and I can get a few
more babysitting jobs.

Yeah, and I can
earn my lunch money

by picking up empty
deposit bottles.

Hey, now, listen, both of you.

I appreciate what you
kids are trying to do,

but there's one thing I
want you to remember...

I'm the breadwinner
in this family.

Going to be anybody
slicing the loaf,

it's going to be me, hear?

Hey, gang.

Well, just as I promised y'all,

the financial
hole in this family

has been plugged.

You got a raise?

No, I got fired...

But I've got something better.

Our money problems are over.

Junior, you ain't
making no sense.

I am making sense.

Family, are y'all
ready for this?

I, James Evans Junior,

have enlisted in the
United States Army.

You did what?

I enlisted in the Army, Dad.

Junior, I ain't in the mood

for none of your jokes now.

But I ain't joking, Dad.

I'm all signed up
and everything.

Daddy, he's serious.

Junior, are you crazy?

Boy, what you going
to do in the Army?

You're scared of
your own shadow.

What little there is of it.

J.J., what outfit they
going to put you in,

the "Lean Berets"?

Go ahead, make
fun, little sister,

but I'll have you know
I'm a natural soldier,

born with a military mind.

Yeah, you've got a
military mind, all right.

Them naps is marching
in close order drill.

Your brain is AWOL.

But, Dad... Don't "But, Dad" me.

Boy, you ain't
going into the Army.

You ain't nothing but a kid.

But, Dad, the Army builds men.

Yeah, but first,

you've got to bring
them all the parts.

Dad, the Army will
snap me right up,

especially when they hear
about my combat record.

What combat record?

I'll have you know I've seen
every John Wayne war movie

ever made.

Going in as a hero, huh?

No, I'm willing to
work my way up.

I'll start off as
G.I. J.J., PFC.

♪ M-O-U-S-E ♪

This Army stuff
ain't no game, boy.

This is serious business,

and you ain't ready for it yet.

But, Dad, you went
into the Army at my age.

Yeah, well, see,

I got an invitation
to the Korean War.

In them days, Uncle Sam
wasn't taking no for an answer.

And, J.J., you've never
been away from home before.

That's the good part.

I get a chance to
see the world for free.

Chicks in every country
will stay up all night

just to get a touch
of Kid Dy-no-mite...

And, Dad, in the new Army,

they let you choose
where you want to go.

Yeah, and you know what
your choice is going to be?

Death Valley or Iceland.

Well, I hear that Iceland
is kind of nice in the spring.

Yeah, if you're a
snowball, which you ain't.

Now, Junior, you ain't
going into the Army,

and that's all there is to it.

You couldn't even make it
through basic training, boy.

You ain't never
had it that tough.

Couldn't be any tougher

than living in this
neighborhood.

No? Well, when's the last time

you went on a 10-mile hike?

The last time the
elevator broke down.

How about crawling on your belly

with live ammunition
flying over your head?

Do it every Wednesday...

Only way to get home from school

after the Warlords
and the Saint Knights

get down.

Junior, how about
not seeing a girl

for 12 whole weeks, huh?

Oh, no!

Oh, yeah.

That's cruel and
inhumane punishment,

but I guess the chicks

will just have to
make the sacrifice.

Junior, you ain't
going into the Army,

and that's all there is to it,

so you might as
well forget that.

Wait a minute now, Dad.

I've never disobeyed you,

but the Army says
I'm old enough.

I don't need your permission.

Now, wait a
minute, son, hold it.

Your mother ain't here, Junior.

How you going to
make a decision like that

without her being here?

Well, it's a good
thing that she's not.

She probably
would try to stop me.

Then why you doing it, son?

Well, Dad, somebody's
got to do something.

I mean, things are tough.

In the Army, I'll be
making $344 a month,

plus room and board.

I could send that home,

and that would be one
less mouth for you to feed.

I just stopped by to let
y'all know what I was doing,

and tell y'all the good news.

Well, I'm going down
to take my physical.

Junior!

I'm sorry, Dad.

He's joining up
because I lost my job.

Daddy, he didn't say that.

He ain't got to, baby girl.

I mean, I know the truth.

Oh, Daddy, you know we love you.

Yeah, Daddy,
it's not your fault.

It happens to people all over.

You said yourself the
unemployment figure was 8.3.

Well, I bet among
black men, it's over 20%.

For black men in
this house, it's 100%.

Boy, the economy's got
me jammed in the middle.

It's causing my
family to break up,

and there ain't a damn
thing I can do about it.

Come on, Daddy, stop worrying.

Let me fix you something to eat.

Please, Thelma...

Daddy feels bad
enough as it is already.

Don't answer it.

It's probably just
some more bad news.

Hello?

Yes, just a minute.

Daddy, it's for
you. It's Brady's.

Brady's... them
jive-time rascals...

Probably want their
paycheck back from last week.

Yeah?

What?

Oh, man, you jiving?

Well, all right!

Got my job back.
I'm working again.

Daddy, that's great!

Yeah, it seems like
the personnel manager

made a mistake.

I never got laid
off in the first place.

Look here, Lord,

I want to thank you
for helping me out.

Now, don't y'all tell
your mother I said that.

She'll be wanting to drag
me to church every Sunday.

Oh, Lord, I've
got to stop Junior

before he takes that physical.

Daddy, how can
you? It's too late.

Not if he didn't
get sworn in yet.

You ain't in the Army until
you raise your right hand

and take that oath.

I'll see y'all.

Hey, wait a minute.

What induction center

did he say he was going to?

Um... he didn't say.

I'll find it. I've
got to find it!

All right, send
in the next group.

Line up over there,
men, and shout off.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four... And one more makes five.

Good God.

Evans?

Yes, sir!

Step back in line,
and take that hat off.

Uh... Yeah?

Don't I get a hatcheck claim?

James Evans Junior?

Yes, sir!

Come on in, please.

Hey, doc, what you doing?

I'm going to look in your mouth.

Then why did I
take off my clothes?

Come on, up on the table.

All right, Evans,

open your mouth and say, "Ah."

Couldn't we talk this over?

Come on.

Is it going to hurt?

Well, if you don't
open up, it will.

I see you still
have your tonsils...

and a lot of teeth.

And that's the way
I plan on keeping it.

All right.

Read the bottom
line on that eye chart

over there.

"Made in Japan."

Well, if you can read that one,

I guess you can read the others.

Come on, up against the wall.

I have to get a chest X-ray.

Well, I know that can't hurt.

Now, face the wall, Evans.

Here we go.

All right.

I can't find your chest.

Huh. Oh, there it is.

All right.

Take a deep breath
and count three.

All right.

I'm supposed to get
one sideways too,

but you haven't got a sideways.

Back up on the table.

Now what are we
going to do, doc?

Just relax, Evans.

What's that for?

I have to take some blood.

From who?

Well, I'd like to
have it from you.

I'd like to have a
second opinion.

Uh... couldn't we wait
till I cut myself shaving?

Evans.

That was just the alcohol.

That cotton's a killer.

There.

Now, just one little heart
test, and you're all finished.

All right, come over here.

Now, just run up and down
those steps as fast as you can,

and keep running up and
down as fast as you can

until I tell you to stop.

All right, ready?

Go.

Major Bullock here.

Oh, what is it, dear? I'm
kind of busy right now.

Oh, really?

Tonight?

Oh, that's great.

When did they get in? I
haven't seen old Bob in years.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Well, then, he can
sleep in our room.

Okay, okay.

Gee.

No, no, no.

I'll stop at the store
on the way home

and pick up something.

How are we for scotch?

Good, good.

Unless old Bob has changed,

we're going to
need plenty of it.

Oh, boy.

Gee, it's been
five years at least.

Well, dear, I know
it's been that long,

because the last
time we saw them

was right before your operation,

so don't tell me when it was.

I know it perfectly well.

It was five years ago.

No, no, no, dear, that
was Ellen's tonsils,

and the year before that,

it was Jimmy's wisdom teeth.

Well, I'm telling you.
It was five years ago.

I ought to know, I'm a doctor.

Sergeant, I've
got to talk to you.

Man, I just hope
I ain't too late.

No, take your clothes
off and have a seat.

Do I look like I'm
here for a physical?

Nothing surprises
me in the new Army.

You should see the kid
we've got in there now.

I've been to three induction
centers looking for my kid.

I've got to stop him
before he takes the oath.

Patty, that was
Grandma's operation!

Goodbye.

You can... You can sit down now.

No, no, not there,
over on the table.

Hey, that's his
hat. Is he in there?

Yes.

But you can't go in there.

The hell I can't.

Junior?

Junior?

Speak to me, Junior.

Please, I can't hear
this man's heart.

That's because
it's stopped beating.

Junior, I got my job
back. I'm working again.

You ain't got to join up.

Would you mind repeating that?

I said I got my job back, son.

I'm working again.

Everything's going to be fine.

You ain't got to join the Army.

Honest?

Honest.

Now, hear this...
I hereby de-enlist.

Alrighty.

♪ Just lookin' Out
of the window ♪

♪ Watching the asphalt grow ♪

♪ Thinkin' how It all
looks hand-me-down ♪

♪ Good times Good times ♪

♪ Keepin' your
head Above water ♪

♪ Makin' a wave When you can ♪

♪ Temporary layoffs Good times ♪

Good Times is recorded on tape

before a live audience.

♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em ♪

♪ Good times ♪♪