Gomer Pyle: USMC (1964–1969): Season 1, Episode 25 - My Buddy, the War Hero - full transcript

Carter and an old war buddy credit each other for being war heroes.

(MARCHING BAND PLAYING)

MALE ANNOUNCER:
Gomer Pyle - USMC.

Starring Jim Nabors
as Gomer Pyle.

Also starring Frank
Sutton as Sergeant Carter.

Hey, look!

(IN SOUTHERN ACCENT)
I'm sorry, Sergeant.

What did you see?

Here, listen to this.

"Assignments, Parris
Island to Honolulu,

"stopover Camp Henderson.
Sergeant Jim Mason."

Jim Mason! That's my
old buddy from Korea!



Well, ain't that nice?
And he's stoppin' off here?

Yeah!

Good old Jimbo! That's
my old buddy Jimbo!

Hey, I wonder
when he's comin' in.

Maybe headquarters will know.

Uh, this is Sergeant
Carter here.

Tipton?

Look, Tip, do you
have any information

on a Sergeant Jim Mason stopping
here on his way to Honolulu?

Yeah, I'll wait.

Oh, boy, Jimbo and me,
did we have times together.

Man, I'm telling you... Huh?

Today?

Hey, that's great!



What?

And he'll only be here 24 hours.

Look, Tip, uh, do a
favor for me, will you?

When he checks in,
send him over to see me.

Yeah, he... he's an old buddy.

Yeah, thanks a lot.

Jimbo! That old son of a gun!

Pyle! If you knew what he
and I went through together!

We couldn't have been
closer if we had been brothers!

Pyle, he's...

He's my oldest and
he's my best friend.

Ain't nothin' nicer
than seein' old friends.

Grandma Pyle used to always say,

"Make new friends,
but keep the old.

"One is silver, and
the other's gold."

Yeah.

And he's Marine,
Pyle, all Marine!

Well, for you to talk
about him like that,

he must really be
somethin' special.

He is, Pyle. He really is.

Well, I'll get this place all
spick-and-span for your old buddy.

I guess you two got a
lot to reminisce about.

Yeah, you're not kiddin'.

How long's it been since
you seen him, Sergeant?

Well, let's see...

Yeah, I guess it's 13 years.

The last time I saw him

was right before they
took us to the hospital,

the day I saved his life.

You what?

Oh, well, I, um...

I saved Jimbo's life.

You mean you
actually saved his life?

Like, if... if... if you hadn't of
saved his life, he would've died?

That's right, Pyle.

Golly, Sergeant! You're a hero!

I'm not a hero, Pyle, just
a man who did his duty.

No, sir, Sergeant.
You're a real hero.

You saved a man's life. That
must really make you feel proud.

How'd you save
his life, Sergeant?

Was you in combat?

Well, I...

Well, I... I'd rather
not talk about it, Pyle.

Okay, Sergeant.

Okay, Pyle, I can
see you're holding it in,

and you won't get off my back
till I tell you the whole story,

so pull up a chair and
let's get it over with, huh?

Thank you, Sergeant.

I sure love to listen
to these hero stories.

Well, like I said,

it was in Korea
during the worst part.

We were trying to take a
hill that we needed real bad,

and we ran into a
pack of the enemy.

I... I... I'd say they
outnumbered us 5-to-1.

5-to-1?

Shazam! I got goosebumps
just listenin' already.

How'd you ever get out of there?

Please, Pyle, don't interrupt!

Now, I hate telling this story,
so let me get it over with!

Oh, I'm sorry, Sergeant,

but if it really
pains you to tell it,

then I don't think that you...

Please, stop nagging.

I told you I'll tell
it, so I'll tell it!

Now, where was I?

The enemy had you
outnumbered 5-to-1. Yeah.

Did I say that? 5-to-1?

Well, it, uh, might have
been more than that.

Maybe even 6-to-1 or 7-to-1.

Yeah, but that doesn't matter.

Anyway, the enemy
had us surrounded.

Well, we jumped for cover!

But it still looked
like we were done for.

We just lay there,
not movin' a muscle.

We thought if we
could make it till dark,

we might have a chance
to get out of there alive.

We might even have a
chance to take that hill.

What happened, Sergeant?

Well, like I said,

we were just waitin' and hopin'

that we could make it till dark,

when all of a sudden, one
of the kids in the platoon,

a kid by the name
of Stewart Billet,

well, he couldn't wait
because he jumped up

and started to
make a run for it!

Right away, the enemy
fire broke out all around us!

CARTER: Well, my old pal
Jimbo and I were together.

We could see Billet a
little ways ahead of us.

Luckily, he wasn't hit.

He had slipped and fallen as
he started up the side of the hill

and gotten tangled up
in some barbed wire.

The poor kid was trapped, just
layin' there like a sitting duck!

We knew we had to do
somethin' to try to save him.

We shook hands and started.

The plan was for Jimbo to crawl
to him goin' wide on the left side,

and I'd try going
wide on the right side,

just hoping one
of us could make it.

We'd gone a few
yards when it happened.

A mortar shell went
off right between us!

Luckily, it missed me.

Now, from here on, everything
that happened is a little hazy,

but after I shook off
the effects of the blast,

I looked over and saw Jimbo.

He wasn't moving.

I thought sure he was finished!

Right away I knew there
were two things I had to do:

I had to get Billet and I
had to get my buddy Jimbo.

I leaped up and, protecting myself
as best I could, I raced over to Billet!

He was tangled
up in barbed wire,

and I knew the kid couldn't
make it on his own power,

so I threw him over my
shoulder and ran to Jimbo!

Jimbo was in kind of a daze,

so I grabbed him
and ran for cover!

(GUN FIRING)

(EXPLOSION)

And luckily, I
made it to safety.

They took us all
away to the hospital,

and, believe it or not, I've
never seen Jim Mason since.

We never even got a
chance to talk about it.

What are you doing, Pyle?

Why, you're a hero, Sergeant.

Fact is, you're a hero twice.

You saved two men's lives.

Why, they gonna be
thankful to you forever.

I know. That's
what I'm afraid of.

As soon as Jimbo gets here,

he's gonna spend
every moment he's here

talking about it and thanking
me and falling all over me.

It's gonna be
downright embarrassing.

Oh, it shouldn't embarrass you,
Sergeant. You should be real proud.

I bet there's a white, fluffy
cloud up there in heaven

with your name
printed right on it,

just waitin' for you
when you get there.

Thank you, Pyle.

Well, look, let's get
this office cleaned up

before my old buddy
gets here, huh?

Is there a loud, fat sergeant by
the name of Vince Carter around?

Hey, Jimbo!

(BOTH LAUGHING)

(BOTH GRUNTING)

Hey, you put on a little
weight around the middle

since I saw you
last, huh, tubby?

You're starting to
look like a zeppelin.

Yeah? Well, at least
I still got my hair.

Hey, it's good to have you back.

Son of a gun, it's
good to see you.

You look really great,
Jimbo, really great!

Hey, uh, this is
Private Gomer Pyle.

Pyle, this is my old
buddy Jim Mason!

Sure a privilege
to meet you, sir.

I've heard an
awful lot about you.

What do you say?

Some handshake, huh, Pyle?

That's from karate.

You still keep
up with it, Jimbo?

Uh, not like I
used to. A little bit.

Hey, Jimbo...

Do it. Watch this, Pyle.

Come on, do it, Jimbo!

Well, who's gonna
pay for the chair?

Me! Me! It's worth
it! Do it! Do it!

Okay.

Huh!

Not bad for an old guy.

Why, he busted it. He
busted it right in two.

Well, sure he did!

Hey, Jimbo! You're
the greatest! Hey!

Where are you stayin' tonight?

Oh, they got me
checked in someplace

they save for
visiting dignitaries.

Class hotel, Vince,
old boy. Yeah.

Well, why don't I run
over to headquarters,

ask the captain if you
can bunk here with me?

I got an extra sack.

Great! Hey, we got a few
things to talk about, right?

Well...

Look, I'll be right back.
It won't take a second.

Pyle, take care of my old
buddy Jimbo for me, will you?

Sure will, Sergeant. Sure will.

Hey!

Sure is good to see
my old buddy Vince.

What a guy he is. What a guy.

Sure is, and he couldn't
be a better sergeant.

Why, he's just
like a mama to us.

A real strict mama,
but a mama anyhow.

He's all Marine.
Ain't he though?

We had some times together,

especially in Korea.

I know. He told me
so much about you,

I feel like I know you already.

Like that battle story about
you two and that Billet boy.

That's one of the most
thrillin' stories I've ever heard.

Really thrillin'.

Yeah.

Hey, you must think a
lot of Sergeant Carter.

You bet I do.

Hey, would you tell me
that there battle story?

Yeah, it is kind of interesting.

You know, the
part that I like best

is where Private
Billet was saved.

Oh, that.

Well... My pal Vince and I,

we had taken cover together.

MASON: I could see Billet trapped
in some barbed wire up ahead.

Vince and I knew we
had to do something.

Otherwise, Billet was done for.

We shook hands and started.

The plan was for Vince
to go on the right side,

and I'd try going
wide on the left side.

Our only hope was that
one of us would make it.

We'd only gone a few yards

when, well, I never
heard anything like it.

This mortar shell just
burst there right between us.

Well, from here on in, the
story's a little hazy to me.

But I shook off the effects of
the blast and looked over at Vince.

He wasn't moving. I
figured he was done for.

It was then I knew I
had two things to do,

get Billet and my pal Vince.

I jumped up, and fighting
back as best I could,

I ran over to Billet!

He was tangled up
in the barbed wire,

and I could see he could
never make it on his own,

so I threw him over my shoulder
and raced to my pal Vince.

Vince was just coming to,

so I shoved him along
and we all ran for cover.

(GUNS FIRING)

(EXPLOSION)

Well, that's how we all made it.

I haven't seen Carter
since it happened.

Boy... I hope he
don't embarrass me

and start getting sloppy
and thanking me for it.

I was only doin'
my duty, you know.

That is funny! Boy, oh,
boy. That is really funny!

(CHUCKLING) You know what, Duke?

You got a warped sense of humor
is what, a warped sense of humor.

Oh, come on, Gomer.

You mean for 13 years
Carter's been tellin' everybody

he saved Sergeant Mason's life,

and Mason's been tellin'
everybody he saved Carter's life?

Gomer, that's a riot!

They each believe it.

They each honestly believe
that they're tellin' the truth.

That's even funnier.

Can you imagine what happens when they
finally get together and compare notes?

Pow-ee!

I know. That's the reason
we got to do somethin'.

Duke, you just
got to help me out.

This Sergeant Mason
is a karate expert,

and he could hurt
Sergeant Carter.

Really?

Now, you don't want
Sergeant Carter hurt.

Well, it's simple, Gome.

You say Sergeant Mason's
only gonna be here for 24 hours.

Just keep 'em apart
so they can't get to talk.

But how? Sergeant
Mason's settin' over there

in Sergeant Carter's
office right now.

Look, Gomer, I told you
how to solve your problem.

I can't do everything for you.

Well, thanks, Duke.
See you, buddy.

But I don't know what I'm
gonna do if they ever get together.

Here comes Sergeant Carter now!

Please, Duke, you
gotta do somethin'.

You just can't let him
see Sergeant Mason.

What? I... Well, anything.

Try to keep him
here a few minutes,

and I'll see if I can't get
rid of Sergeant Mason.

Please, Duke, you got to,
for Sergeant Carter's sake.

(SIGHING)

S-Sergeant Carter!

Uh, Sergeant Carter?

Well, what do you want?

Um, uh, c-could I
see you for a second?

(GRUMBLES)

(CLEARS THROAT)

What do you want?

Hmm? Oh, I...
I've got a problem.

See the chaplain. No, no, no,
Sergeant, it's not that kind of problem.

Well, what kind
of problem is it?

Um...

It's my lock.

Your lock? What about it? Hmm?

Oh, I can't get it open. I, uh,
I was gonna clean my rifle...

You can't get it open?

What are you?
Stupid or somethin'?

What's the combination? Hmm?

Oh, the combination, yes.

(CLEARS THROAT)
Uh, well, it's, uh...

Let's see. Uh, um... Left to 19.

Left to 19.

Um, right... right to 32.

Where's Sergeant Carter? I
don't have much time, you know.

Yeah, well, ain't it a shame?

He didn't say he had some
other things to do today, did he?

No, Sergeant, he didn't.

I... I can't get
it open, either.

Look, maybe I'd better
go find him myself.

Uh, Sergeant... Sir...
I got an idea. Huh?

Yeah, yes, sir, I bet that's it.

What?

Well, if I was Sergeant Carter,

I know what I'd be doin'.

I'd be in town
buyin' you a present.

Yes, sir, that's what
I'd be doin', all right.

A present for me?

Why, sure. He hadn't
seen you in all these years,

and you did save his life,

but if it was me I'd be
mighty embarrassed

to be empty-handed
whenever I got a present.

There I go, talkin'
out of turn again.

You probably didn't even
have time to buy him a present.

Yeah, I was too busy. That's it.

But if...

Listen, do you think I could
get him a gift over at the PX?

W-Well, they ain't got much
of a selection over there,

but town's just north
of here about two miles.

It's just a short
ride on the bus.

And they got lots
of stores there.

Okay, okay.

But, listen, if Sergeant
Carter gets back before I do,

don't tell him
where I went, okay?

Right, Sergeant.

19...

Right, 32... Left, 27.

Uh, gee, Sarge, I
just remembered.

It's... It's... It's
left to 18, not 19.

Left, 18...

(MUMBLING)

Left, 27.

Thanks, Sarge. Thanks a lot.

I forgot to ask you,
where do you get the bus?

It's right out by the gate.

Um, why don't you
go out the back door?

It's a whole lot closer.

Thanks. Go right out this door.

Hey, Pyle, where's
Sergeant Mason?

(STAMMERING)
Well, he ain't here.

Well, I can see he's not
here. Where did he go?

I ain't supposed to tell.

What? Promised I wouldn't.

Where did he go? Into town.

What did he go into town for?

Well, I ain't supposed
to tell that either. Pyle!

Well, if you must know,

he went to buy you a present.

A present? That's the truth.

You know, for old time's sake?

I think he feels sort of
sentimental about the occasion.

Well, what do you know!

Old Jimbo buyin' me a present.

Uh, what did you
get for him, Sergeant?

Well, I, uh...

Of course, you didn't have time.

You just found out
he's comin' this mornin'.

Sure, that's right! I just
found out this morning!

Ain't too late, though.

You could go over to the PX.
And be back in two shakes.

Yeah, yeah!

Look, if he gets
back before I do,

don't tell him
where I went, huh?

Right, Sergeant.

How often do those buses run?

Every 15 minutes.
Uh... Oh. Right there.

Did Sergeant Carter get back?

Uh-huh.

But he went out again.

Again?

Is he inside?

Hi, Vince. Where you been?

I'm sorry, Jimbo. I had a
little errand to take care of.

Oh, sure, I understand.

Look, Pyle, you don't
have to hang around.

W-Well, I ain't finished
my cleanin' up yet.

Well, make it fast.

Here, buddy. From me to you.

A gift? For me?

Hey, Pyle, you see that?

My old buddy
brought me a present.

Open it.

MASON: Do you like it?

Oh, yeah.

Sure, it's, uh, great.

Push the button on the side.

It's an electric finger. It's
great for massaging your gums!

You don't have one, do you?

Oh, no.

Oh, good. I figured that.

It's the kind of thing you
wouldn't buy for yourself.

Yeah.

It's great for scratching, too.

But mainly for
massaging your gums.

Try it. Try it.

Uh...

I'll try it tonight.

The directions are in the box.

Well, uh, thank you, Jimbo,

but don't think I
forgot you, huh?

Here.

Oh, Vince, you didn't have to.

Ah.

What a guy.

A wallet!

Real plastic!

Look inside. I put a little
somethin' in it for you.

Oh, Vince.

It's a picture of
me for good luck.

Oh.

Oh, Vince... I'll carry
it with me always.

There was a picture
of Anne Sheridan in it.

I took it out. You can
have it if you want.

Uh, no, no. You
will be just great.

(EXCLAIMING)

Boy, it's good to
see you again, Jimbo!

Same here.

Good to see you. It
brings back memories.

Yeah.

Hey, remember that
dame in Honolulu?

You mean Toby Eigler, the
one with the two-tone hair?

Yeah!

Yeah, every night for a month,

she made me take her out
dancing till 2:00 in the morning.

I was exhausted when I
found out she had a twin sister

and they shared everything!

Hey, wait a minute.

You remember the gal that
flipped over me in Tokyo?

Yeah, the dancer!

You remember?
She used to write me

those wild letters in Japanese,

and the only guy on the base that
could translate them was the chaplain!

Oh, those were
the good old days!

They... They sure were!

But it all wasn't fun and games.

I know what you mean.

Korea.

Korea.

I guess... I guess we'll never
forget what happened there.

You ain't kiddin'.

You know, of all the things
that ever happened to me,

I remember that day in Korea
clearer than anything else.

I guess you'll never
forget it, huh, Jimbo?

Well, I... Remember, Jimbo?

There we were, outnumbered,
5-to-1, tryin' to take that hill,

when all of a sudden... Oh!

Pyle, what is it? What's wrong?

(GROANING) Maybe
it's appendicitis.

Pyle, you all right?

I think so.

Okay, Pyle, why don't
you knock off for now, huh?

Uh, no, Sergeant, I'm all right.

You sure?

Uh-huh.

Suit yourself.

What were we talking about?

Oh, e-e-excuse me, Sergeant.

You was talkin' about Toby
Eigler that Japanese dancer.

No, no, that was before, no.

No, Korea! Yeah,
that was it, Korea!

Remember? You and me were behind
the log, Jimbo... Excuse me, Sarge.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I never did
get to clean under here today.

Won't take me but
a minute, though.

The enemy, they
were up on a hill.

They were opening
fire, remember?

(MUMBLING) And we
didn't have a chance.

When they opened
up with rockets...

What is it with this nut?

Look, why don't we
just cut out of here,

grab a couple of beers and
shoot the breeze at the club, huh?

Why don't you go
out to the movie?

What? Who wants
to go to the movies?

Well, it's a real good picture.

It's The Yalu Showdown.

That's a war
picture about Korea!

What do we wanna see that for?

Yeah, we lived it.
Remember, Jimbo, the hill?

Yeah, and that crazy Billet kid.

It's in Technicolor.

And you and me decided
we had to try and save him.

So, you went wide on the left!
And I went wide on the right!

It's got a real good
cartoon with it.

And the enemy was all around us,

blasting all over, remember?

I remember that big one,

that shell that burst right between
us, knockin' you unconscious!

I remember I ran for Billet,

tossed the kid over my shoulder,

still blastin' away
with a Tommy gun...

Wait a minute.

I was knocked unconscious?

You were knocked unconscious.

You're kiddin'!

I remember it like
it was yesterday.

You don't remember good.

Well, who do you
think saved Billet?

Vince, look at me!
You don't remember!

I saved you, and I
saved the kid, too!

You were unconscious!

You're crazy! You
were unconscious!

Look, I'll show you!

No! I'll show you!

Don't tell me!

I'm telling you!

I saved you!

Never! I did it! I saved
(EXCLAIMING) you!

I knew this was gonna happen!

I knew this was gonna
happen, I knew it!

Sergeant, are you all right?

Sergeant? Sergeant?

Come on, sit down over here.

(STAMMERING) Wait
a minute. Wait a minute.

Hey, Jimbo,

does this remind
you of somethin'?

Yeah.

Do you know what I think?

Are you thinkin'
what I'm thinkin'?

I didn't save your life.

No.

And I didn't save yours.

Billet?

Hey!

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