Glee (2009–2015): Season 5, Episode 5 - The End of Twerk - full transcript

The glee club learns the dance of the hour: twerking. Meanwhile, Marley discovers Jake's relationship with Bree, and Rachel tries to convince Kurt they both should get tattoos.

So here's what you missed
on Glee.

Will made the Glee Club decide
whether they were Katys

or Gagas as if those were
the only two options,

which Sue thought was stupid so
now she's got it out for them

but this time she's principal
and Becky's her Beckretary.

Oh snap! Jake wanted to
go all the way with Marley,

but Marley only let him
touch her boob,

so Jake cheated on her
with demon hellspawn Bree

'cause that's the kind of guy
he is and Marley doesn't know.

- Do you want to go somewhere?
- Is your girlfriend going to be there?

Rachel got the lead
in Funny Girl on Broadway, but



the director's sort of weird
and has crazy eyes and wasn't

even sure she was right
for the part to begin with.

That's all we needed to see.

And that's what you missed
on Glee.

Blaine, what are you doing?

Tina! Tina, get out!

Get out! Get out of here!

Get out! Get out!
Get out of here!

Blaine this is nothing
to be embarrassed about.

Yes, it is.

That's a twerk fail
gawker nightmare.

No. This is a revelation.

If this is turning into
what I think it's turning into,

I just want to say



that it's physically impossible
for me to twerk.

I beg to differ.

Guys, look how you're
all riveted by that video.

That's the kind of reaction
we need from the judges if we're

gonna one-up Throat Explosion
at nationals.

We need to edge up our America's
sweetheart image a bit.

Show the judges that
we're not afraid to rebel.

Mr. Shue, what if some of us
don't know how to twerk?

Have no fear,
your twerk-torial is here.

Hey, and if you can all dance
like Blaine did in that video,

we are gonna need
a bigger trophy case.

Yeah, twerk, twerk!

Twerk, twerk!
Watch this, Marley.

Okay, listen up.
Twerking did start in Atlanta

in the club scene,
but it is global now.

And whether you call it
the booty pop or P-pop

or the Sissy Bounce,
all that you need to do it is...

a working booty and the right
attitude and education.

So we'll start
with the basics. Kitty?

All right, you basic bitches,
feet should-width apart.

Bend your knees, turn them out,
hands on hips,

thumbs on the butt.

And pop it, pop it, pop it,
pop it, pop it, pop it.

Not that.
This is so weird!

Unique, come on!
You are a natural.

I been twerking in my bedroom
since I was six to Miss Beyoncé.

Hey, Sam.

Yeah, that was a White Chocolate
signature move.

Tina and Ryder,
you'll be twerking in the back.

Stay very, very loose.

I need a transformation.

To shed some old skin.

I want to look
completely different.

Hi.

Okay. Today it's
"You are Woman, I am Man."

I have some ideas, but I want to
see what you do with it first.

All I know is I want
the sexual organs

of every man, woman, and well,

just the men and women,

to be stimulated
by the end of this number.

I think we can handle that.

This is a joke, right?

I did some research, and I
wanted to get into character,

and this cut and length
was totally in style

in post-World War I Manhattan.

Do you have any idea
how Broadway works?

Read your contract.

I pick every swatch, every gel,
every shade of lipstick.

Anything the audience
will see, hear or smell

in my theater is selected
after weeks

of careful consideration
by me, the director.

Look, I'm not a prop,
all right?

You hired me to express
myself, to be Fanny, my fanny.

And I need some freedom
to be able to find her myself.

And someone told you
she hangs out

in Sally Hershberger Downtown?

Look, I've sort of been going
through hell

the past month or so.

And I just needed
to snap out of it.

So maybe we could
just do the number

and see how it goes from there.

Fine, Rachel.
Please, just make me forget.

♪ You are woman ♪

♪ I am man ♪

♪ You are smaller ♪

♪ So I can be taller than ♪

♪ You are softer to the touch ♪

♪ It's a feeling
I like feeling very much ♪

♪ You are someone ♪

♪ I've admired ♪

♪ Still, our friendship ♪

♪ Leaves something
to be desired ♪

♪ Does it take more explanation
than this? ♪

♪ You are woman, I am man ♪

♪ Let's kiss ♪

♪ Isn't this the height
of nonchalance ♪

♪ Furnishing a bed
in restaurants? ♪

♪ Well, a bit of dinner
never hurt ♪

♪ But guess who is gonna
be dessert ♪

♪ Do good girls do
just what mama says ♪

♪ When mama's not around? ♪

♪ It's a feeling, oy vay,
what a feeling ♪

♪ A bit of pâté ♪

♪ Uh! I drink it all day ♪

♪ Should I do the things
he'll tell me to ♪

♪ In this pickle,
what would Sadie do? ♪

♪ In my soul,
I feel an inner lack ♪

♪ Just suppose he wants
his dinner back ♪

♪ Now I feel that there's
a fire here ♪

♪ Oh, try that once,
a little higher, dear ♪

♪ What a beast to ruin
such a pearl ♪

♪ Would a convent take
a Jewish girl? ♪

♪ You are woman ♪

♪ You are man ♪

♪ Let's... ♪

Stop!

The haircut.

God bless the haircut!

It's like some kind
of reverse Samson.

I have some notes, but you
really were our Fanny up there.

Okay. Well, you know,
Fanny was a rebel.

So I just felt a little rebellious
behavior would do the trick.

You were right.

But I think we've all rebelled
enough for one production.

No more, understood?

Yes, sir.

From the top!

And the right to vote
was in 18...

Mr. Shue?
Yes?

May I be excused?
Too much Diet Coke.

Yeah.

There you go.

Excuse me.

What the hell are you
doing in here?

Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, I thought this was
the little boys' room.

Stop right there, voice of Elmo.

Do you honestly expect me

to believe you stumbled
in here by accident?

Please don't tell anyone.

I'm afraid to use
the boys' bathroom.

I can't. I just don't feel
comfortable in there.

I make sure to only come
in here during class

so no one finds out
or gets upset.

Oh. Don't worry.

Your secret's safe with me.

And that's how
it all started...

the Great McKinley Bathroom
Gender Riot of 2013.

Bree figured out that the boys'
room was a great place

to make out in
and not get caught.

You've been avoiding me.

Whoa.

Stoner Brett started using
the girls' bathroom

because it was cleaner
and it smelled better,

and he heard a rumor that
the toilet seats were heated.

And then the girls started
using the boys' room

when they realized that boys
never had to wait in a line.

It was chaos.

Whoops.

I just had

the most incredible
experience of my life.

Oh, my God.
Did you cut your hair?

I was feeling stuck.

Oh.

You know, Rupert's amazing,

but he has such specific views
on everything.

And it's not like
I don't trust his vision,

but I felt like I needed
to just rebel a little bit

in order to have
more room to play.

So he doesn't know that
you were wearing a wig?

Not at first, but then
I told him after rehearsal.

And he really loved it,
and I might get

- to wear it in the show. - What if he
got mad about you lying to him?

Or-or what if he saw that you cut
your hair and sent you packing?

Okay, you know what, Kurt?
You've become boring.

You go to class, and then you come
home and you watch your stories

and eat on this food
and you Skype with Blaine,

and it's not even sexy Skyping.

I know this
because you just go to sleep.

Same thing every day.

- I change up my afternoon
smoothie occasionally. - You know,

it felt so good taking
a risk with this wig.

It's, like, I just...
I felt so alive.

And I know I could have messed
everything up, but I didn't even care.

It's, like, I just
wanted to risk it all.

- What's gotten into you? - I don't know.
But do you remember

in high school,
everything felt so urgent?

Like if we didn't just go for it
we'd lose our chance forever?

Yes, it was very stressful.

I want to feel that way again.

Does this have something
to do with Finn?

You know, if part
of my grieving process

is just diving headfirst
into life, then... maybe.

All right, Rachel Berry...

you got me.

Let's go out
and do something crazy.

Like what? Let's go use
flash photography at the Met.

Small potatoes.
How about we break out

the bottle of limoncello
you've been saving up.

What for?

Anesthesia.

Both orangutans have been
charged with solicitation

and impersonating
a police officer.

Prosecutors say both
Tickles and Bam-Bam

will be tried as adults.

And now let's stroll
on down to Sue's Corner,

with cheerleading icon,
Principal Sue Sylvester.

Thank you, Rod. Andrea.

America,

tonight I address
a nation at war.

Now, I'm not referring to
Syrian dictator Bashar al-Assad,

who gassed his own people
when they began to make fun

of his extremely hilarious lisp.

No, this nation faces
a far more insidious foe:

Miley Cyrus...

and the genital-flapping dance
known as "twerking"

that makes men and women alike
look like overgrown,

constipated toddlers.

This vulgar,

sexually explicit
excuse for a dance craze

has brought American culture
to a new low.

And that's why tonight,
Western Ohio,

I solemnly pledge to end
the pandemic of twerking

once and for all.

Not only will I outlaw twerking
at McKinley High,

but I have submitted a bill
to the Ohio State Legislature

banning twerking
in Ohio public schools.

And Hannah Montana

can go back to naked-straddling
the three-ton wrecking ball

she was clearly upsold
at Home Depot,

as the tiny cinderblock room
she's elected to demolish

is only about 12 square feet

and already has a wall missing.

And that's how Sue

sees it.

Ron.

Oo-hoo, Sue!

You're outta sight.

We'll be right back.

She will not
get away with this...

- Guys, guys! What's going on?
- Did you not see.

Principal Sylvester's
latest "Sue's Corner"?

She's trying to take away
our God-given right

to twerk, Mr. Shue,
it's bullcrap!

I think what we're all
feeling, Mr. Shue,

is that we were really
onto something

with this whole twerking
at nationals thing...

I completely agree with you.

Principal Sylvester is drawing
a line in the sand.

She's deciding what's acceptable
and what's not,

and that's just not gonna stand.

The fact is, twerking is about

blurring the lines, between
the past and the present,

between men and women,

between tradition
and envelope-pushing!

It's all in that
Alan Thicke song that I love.

- "Blurred Lines" by Robin Thicke?
- Exactly.

That's not what
that song's about.

Sue Sylvester wants to draw
a line in the sand?

Well, we're gonna blur it.

And blow this debate wide open!

Yeah!

Everybody get up!

♪ Hey ♪ Hey! ♪

♪ Everybody say hey ♪

♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪

♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪

♪ If you can't hear ♪

♪ What I'm trying to say ♪

Girl, come here.
♪ If you can't read ♪

♪ From the same page ♪

♪ Maybe I'm going deaf ♪

♪ Maybe I'm going blind ♪

♪ Maybe I'm out of my mind ♪

♪ Okay, now he was close ♪

♪ Tried to domesticate you ♪

♪ But you're an animal ♪

♪ Baby, it's in your nature ♪

♪ Just let me liberate you ♪
♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪

♪ You don't need no papers ♪
♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪

♪ That man is not your maker ♪
♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪

♪ And that's why I'm goin'
take a good girl ♪

♪ I know you want it ♪

♪ I know you want it ♪

♪ Hey... ♪
♪ I know you want it ♪

♪ You're a good girl ♪

♪ Can't let it get past me ♪

♪ Hey... ♪
♪ You're far from plastic ♪

♪ Oh-oh-oh... ♪
♪ Talk about gettin' blasted ♪

♪ I hate these blurred lines ♪

♪ I know you want it ♪

♪ I know you want it ♪

♪ I hate these lines ♪
♪ I know you want it ♪

♪ But you're a good girl ♪

♪ The way you grab me ♪

♪ Must want to get nasty ♪

♪ Go ahead, get at me ♪

♪ Baby, can you breathe? ♪

♪ I got this from Jamaica ♪

♪ It always works for me ♪

♪ Dakota to Decatur ♪

♪ No more pretending
♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪

♪ 'Cause now you winning ♪
♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪

♪ Here's our beginning ♪
♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪

♪ I always wanted a...
good girl, yeah ♪

♪ I know you want it ♪

♪ I know you want it ♪

♪ I know you want it ♪

♪ You're a good girl ♪

♪ Can't let it get past me ♪

♪ You're far from plastic ♪

♪ Talk about gettin' blasted ♪

♪ I hate these blurred lines ♪

♪ I know you want it ♪

♪ I know you want it ♪

♪ I know you want it ♪

♪ So good, girl ♪

♪ The way you grab me ♪

♪ Must want to get nasty ♪

♪ Hey-ey... ♪
♪ Go ahead, get at me ♪

♪ These blurred lines. ♪

You do realize
that "Blurred Lines"

is a song about
date rape, don't you?

What?

- No, it's not.
- Will...

you need to "back your ass
up" to the fact that you,

a married 37-year-old,

just performed a song about
coercive sexual advances

as nine minors
twerked alongside you

down the hallways of
a public high school.

It's called
the First Amendment, Sue.

This is about
freedom of expression.

Well, then feel free
to express that out loud

as you pace the floors of
your dingy, lonely apartment,

because you,
Will Schuester, are fired.

I am not leaving.

And I will

be appealing this
to the school board.

Oh, my God.

Are we actually gonna do this?

I've always wanted one.

You think Blaine's
gonna be mad?

Well, isn't he, like,
obsessed with Adam Levine?

You're...
you're right.

You're right about everything.

- I just need to wake up and
come out of myself. - Yes!

You know? I mean,
I'm an artist!

I should start acting like one!

Would Andy Warhol be
standing here worrying?

No, he wouldn't!

To rebellion.

In all of its forms.

Okay.

Oh, chug, chug, chug. Ooh!

Oh, my God,
there is a little...

Oh, God, tastes like
lemons and gasoline.

- The worst.
- It's the worst.

- So, what are we gonna get?
- I don't know.

Let's surprise each other.

Okay. Look at the kitty cat.

So who's first?

Good morning, sunshine.

Two shots of limoncello,

- and I feel like I got hit by a bus.
- Ugh.

I'm the worst rebel
in the world.

Well, I made pancakes.

Ooh!

Ooh, oh, I forgot

that was there for a moment.

I didn't want a tramp stamp,

and I thought if
I got it on my arm,

then I wouldn't be able to go sleeveless again.
Well, let me see!

Okay. So when we decided
that we were doing it,

I knew exactly what I wanted.

I even printed it out
in the font that I like,

so the tattoo guy
knew exactly what to do.

Okay.

It's both personal

and political, just like me.

Ta-da!

Oh, Kurt!

"It Gets Better"!

- That's so sw...
- What?

Is it infected?

No, it's just, it says
"It's Get Better,"

not "It Gets Better."

They misspelled it.

Oh, my God.

I have absolute nonsense
written on me permanently.

Okay, y-y-y-you have
to get it removed.

Of course I do.
What if I run into Dan Savage

in the steam room at the gym?
I mean, I'll be humiliated.

Don't worry, they do
a really good job

at removing tattoos these days.

Yeah, for tens of thousands of
dollars, which I don't have.

Okay, then, we're going to
go back to the tattoo parlor

and we're gonna have them fix it.
Just show me yours,

'cause maybe he spelled
Streisand wrong,

and, a-and we can be
maimed together.

You know what? I, I, I
didn't go through with it.

Are you kidding me?

I was thinking about all
of my favorite idols...

Barbra, Patti,
and Carole King...

and none of them have tattoos.

I cannot believe you backed out
without telling me.

I went. I was going to go
through with it,

but you were halfway
through yours, and I just...

Look, I-I'm really
sorry, okay?

I-I-I'll go back with you,
we can get your money back.

No, what I want back I can't
get... my innocence, my pride,

and my unblemished
alabaster skin.

Kurt.

Well, well, if it isn't

the "Q" in the LGBTQ-
XYZ-who-gives-a-crap.

You want me to warm that
seat up for you, sweetheart?

Listen, we get it.

It must just be hell
hiking up that lovely dress

at a urinal. Just let me do my
business, and I'll go, please.

Oh, sorry, we're just curious
how exactly you do that.

Don't be scared.

We're all guys here.

Let's get
out of here, man.

You believe that?

♪ If I were a boy ♪

♪ Even just for a day ♪

♪ I'd roll out of bed ♪

♪ In the morning ♪

♪ Throw on what I wanted,
and go ♪

♪ Drink beer with the guys ♪

♪ And chase after girls ♪

♪ I'd kick it
with who I wanted ♪

♪ And I'd never get confronted
for it ♪

♪ 'Cause they stick up for me ♪

♪ If I were a boy ♪

♪ I think I could understand ♪

♪ How it feels to love a girl ♪

♪ I swear I'd be a better man ♪

♪ I'd listen to her ♪

♪ 'Cause I know how it hurts ♪

♪ 'Cause he's taken you
for granted ♪

♪ And everything you had ♪

♪ Got destroyed ♪

♪ It's a little too late ♪

♪ For you to come back ♪

♪ Say it's just a mistake ♪

♪ Think I'd forgive you
like that ♪

♪ If you thought
I would wait for you ♪

♪ You thought ♪

♪ Wrong... ♪

♪ But you're just a boy ♪

♪ You don't understand ♪

♪ How it feels to love a girl ♪

♪ Some day you'll wish
you were ♪

♪ A better man ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ You don't listen to her ♪

♪ And you don't care
how it hurts ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Until you lose
the one you wanted ♪

♪ 'Cause you've taken her
for granted ♪

♪ And everything you had ♪

♪ Got destroyed... ♪

♪ But you're just a boy. ♪

We need some names.

Yeah, you know, some
people at this school need

to get their ass kicked
to learn

not to mess with you anymore.

Come on, guys,
you know that's not a solution.

No, enough is enough.

Mr. Shue's right.

I love you guys.

And your support
means everything.

But it won't fix anything.

In fact, it'll probably
make everything worse.

Motion approved to dig up
the school parking lot

and move the Indian bones.

Now, the McKinley School
Board calls to the podium.

"Teacher of the Year..."

What is this, a typo?

William Schuester?

Thank you, Superintendant.

And a very good evening
to everyone.

We really appreciate
you moving this meeting

of the school board
to the auditorium

where you could hear
and see our case.

Now, as you all know, Sue
Sylvester has recently banned

a dance known as twerking
from McKinley.

You call it twerking?

I call it dance porn.
Well,

that is exactly
what people once said

about an outrageous
new dance called...

the waltz.

It was considered indecent

because a man
and woman were actually

clutching each other as they
whirled around the ballroom.

In the 1920s,
rebellious jazz babies

shocked society by
kicking up their heels

to Charleston.

In the '50s,

everyone was scandalized

by Elvis' pelvis.

And then came a flood

of dirty dancing.

The twist.

The pony.

And heaven forbid,

the mashed potato.

All considered scandalous

and sinful then.

Now, with time and distance,

thought of as quaint

and innocent even.

In the '80s came
the most forbidden

dance of them all...
the Lambada.

Spawning national outrage

and two not-so-great movies.

And now...

it's twerking.

I guarantee you
that in 20 years,

twerking will be considered
a silly nostalgic dance.

So I ask you.

Do you want to be on the right
side of musical history?

Oh, hey, Sue.
You wanted to see me?

William, you can wipe
that smug look off your face.

And while you're at it,
wipe your chin

- because there's a butt on it.
- Oh.

Well, I asked you in here
as an act of contrition.

Wade "Unique" Adams made
an impassioned plea

for a unisex bathroom
at this school.

The arc of the moral universe
is long,

but it bends towards justice.

Do you know who said that?

Captain America.

Dr. Martin Luther King.

Hmm.

And I was so moved

I decided to
provide him with it.

So, from this day forward,
let it be known

that Unique will be able
to dump dirt

in the privacy
of his very own crapper.

Wow, that's...

great.

Where is it?

We have to move it.

We tried.
It's bolted to the floor.

I am so sorry, guys.

This is like
living a nightmare.

Tina?
How could you?

What? It's convenient.

Jesus, get your priorities
straight.

Uh, o-okay, guys.

L-let's practice
our-our twerking.

Are you dyslexic?

Or illiterate?
Or a charlatan?

You completely
messed up my tattoo.

I am scarred!

Let me see.

That is exactly
what you told me to write.

No, I wanted a message of hope.

Something to represent
my strides

I've made as an individual

and the political sea change.

You should've put
"It gets better" on there.

I did!

No, you didn't.

This is what
you gave me to write.

I ask questions
because I don't want to hear

everybody's bullcrap story

about what their tattoo means.

I must've screwed it up
when I was typing it.

Yeah.

Let me ask you something.

What are you even doing here?

You don't seem
like the tattoo type.

I wanted to rebel.
And shake off my doldrums.

My path has been different

and exciting considering
my background

but considering
who I think I am,

and how I see myself,

It's like I've taken the
street car named predictability.

I guess this is the price I pay

when I try to surprise myself.

Nah.

I think your motives were true.

It's just that, you know,

when you go off road, man...

weird stuff is gonna happen.

Check this out.

That demon looks
like John Davidson.

I got that in Hong Kong.

I was trashed, right?

And I asked this guy
for a Harley Davidson tattoo.

And I guess something
got lost in translation

'cause when I woke up

I had the host
of That's Incredible!

On my freakin' chest.

Eh. Turned him
into a demon.

Lame ass goes to badass,
two hours tops.

My body's covered
with mistake ink.

You can fix damn near anything.

How can you fix this?

Why don't you give me
another shot at it?

I'm, uh...

starting to get a sense
of who you are.

Why don't you hop
back up on the table

and I'll see what I can do.

No charge. I'll even throw
in a tongue piercing.

No cost to you.

Why would I want to do that?

Look,

you step back now,

you will never take
another risk again.

You will have given up on
the whole concept of going nuts.

What you got to do is
you got to go more nuts,

have a positive experience.

And then you'll realize

that that is where you find
the juice of life.

Come on.
Oh...

Okay.

Juice of life.

Oh, Marley, have
you seen this Vine?

I call it "Squeezin' Out
a Twerkle Head."

It looks

like you've got a bad case
of the spastic butt coughs.

Good one!

You're hilarious. Like,
Comedy Central-funny. Hey!

I was just trying to be helpful.

I'd be happy to give
you twerk lessons.

Twerking's really
not that hard,

not if you have
the right partner.

How do you think your
boyfriend got so good at it?

Oh. Yeah, Jake didn't tell you?

After your pathetic night of.

"Don't touch me there,
I mean it, Jake,"

he came running to me.

And we twerked

all night long.

Mm, Jake's not like that.

And if he was, he would aim a
lot higher than trash like you.

That is slut-shaming.

You are using
the derogatory label "trash"

for a female's
natural sensuality.

It's femiphobic,

neoretrogenderist

and a clear form
of sexual bullying.

And as this beautiful
poster clearly states,

this is a Bully-Free Zone.

But I will be the better person

and not report you
to Principal Sylvester

for immediate expulsion.

By the way, you know
that cute little mole

on Jake's right hip
and how, when you kiss it,

it drives him absolutely crazy?

Oh, right.

You wouldn't know
about that, would you?

Well, trust me.

He loves it.

Hey, I was just ab...
about to come find you.

Pull down your pants.
I want to see your right hip.

I want to see if there's a mole. I want
to see if she's telling the truth.

- Who? - Please tell me
there's no mole.

Please tell me she's just lying
to screw with my head.

Please tell me
you didn't really cheat on me,

especially with h-her.

- Marley...
- Oh, my God.

- I'm so sorry. Look at me. Look...
- Just stop. Just stop.

♪ We clawed, we chained ♪

♪ Our hearts in vain ♪

♪ We jumped, never asking why ♪

♪ We kissed, I fell ♪

♪ Under your spell ♪

♪ A love ♪

♪ No one could deny ♪

♪ Don't you ever say ♪

♪ I just walked away ♪

♪ I will always want you ♪

♪ I can't live a lie ♪

♪ Running for my life ♪

♪ I will always want you ♪

♪ I came in
like a wrecking ball ♪

♪ I never hit so hard in love

♪ All I wanted was
to break your walls ♪

♪ All you ever did was wreck me ♪

♪ I came in
like a wrecking ball ♪

♪ Yeah, I just closed my eyes
and swung ♪

♪ Left me crashing
in a blazing fall ♪

♪ All you ever did was
wreck me ♪

♪ Yeah, you, you wreck me ♪

♪ I never meant to start a war ♪

♪ I just wanted you
to let me in ♪

♪ I guess
I should've let you win ♪

♪ Don't you ever say ♪

♪ I just walked away ♪

♪ I will always want you ♪

♪ I came in
like a wrecking ball ♪

♪ I never hit so hard in love ♪

♪ All I wanted was
to break your walls ♪

♪ All you ever did was
wreck me ♪

♪ I came in
like a wrecking ball ♪

♪ Yeah, I just closed my eyes
and swung ♪

♪ Left me crashing
in a blazing fall ♪

♪ All you ever did was
wreck me ♪

♪ Yeah, you ♪

♪ You wreck me ♪

♪ Yeah, you ♪

♪ You wreck me. ♪

Mr. Shue?

I need to use the, uh...

the magic bathroom.

Okay, if Oprah's gonna

drop the Cosby kids off
at the pool,

I am not going
to be here for it.

Wait.

Unique doesn't need to use
the Porta Potti.

Come with me.

There's nothing wrong
with the Porta Potti.

Again?

She just used it, like,
five minutes ago.

Thanks for doing this,
Mr. Shue,

but I don't need a bodyguard.

It's not about feeling safe
in the boys' bathroom;

it's about feeling
like I don't belong.

Look, I-I hate to say it,
but I-I think as long

as you keep being yourself,
your life is probably gonna be

a constant string
of "don't belongs."

I know. I should probably
just start getting used to it.

No, no, no.

You should never
get used to it.

All great change has come
from people who refused

to get used to what was
accepted but wasn't right.

Slavery, gay rights,

New Coke.

So, what you're saying is,
I should pull a Rosa Parks

and refuse to give up my seat
in the girls' bathroom.

Unfortunately, you're not going
to change the world overnight

with some radical act
of rebellion.

You just need to keep finding
the places you belong

and the people you belong with,

and then you'll have an army
to fight alongside of you

until the world
is finally brave enough

to accept you for who you are.

It's hard, you know?

Having to dress like this
every morning,

knowing that almost
nobody will understand.

But I don't have a choice...
this is who I am.

Thank you for seeing
how hard it is.

No one should have to work
so hard and risk so much.

From now on, whenever
nature calls,

I want you to find me.

And I'm going to open
this up for you.

It's a single stall,
so it's coed.

No one needs to know
how you identify yourself.

They just need to know that
you washed your hands after.

Thank you.

All right.

Hey, Becky,
I'm here to see Sue.

Do you have an appointment?

No.

Then get out, bitch!

It's okay, Becky.

Send him in.

Have a seat.

I saw you escort Unique

to the teacher's restroom
and let him use it.

And I think it's degrading
for him to have to do that,

and it's given me
a change of heart.

I would like to propose a deal.

I'll give Unique a key
to that bathroom

on one condition.

What is it?

You and the Glee Club
stop twerking. For good.

Sorry, Sue, but there's no way in hell
that I'm going to make that deal.

Oh, for God's sake, William,
that's your red line?

Of all the things in the world
to be outraged about.

This isn't about twerking.

This is about standing up
to Sue Sylvester

and her inane,
out-of-touch meddling.

It's about rebelling against
your repeated attempts

to suppress the Glee Club
and what we're trying to say.

When a law is unjust,
it's your duty as an American

to disobey.

It's called
civil disobedience, Sue.

Fine, have it your way.

The chemical toilet stays bolted
to the choir room floor.

Fine. And maybe I'll just throw
a Sue Sylvester-style

rebellion tantrum
as I leave this office.

I don't know
what you're talking about.

Oh, no?

It goes a little something
like this.

William, stop that.

William Michael Schuester!

Becky, no, no, no.
Don't even think about it.

Becky, no, no, no, don't...

Hey, where have you been?

Look, I know that
you're upset with me

about the tattoo and everything,

but this silent treatment,
it's a little immature.

It's kind of hard to talk.

Are you eating something?

Did you get a pretzel from
the guy down the street?

Because I thought
we were diet partners.

I pierced my tongue.

You pierced your tongue?!

Oh, my God, that is so gross.

Put that away.
I don't want to look at it.

Doesn't it hurt?

I-It's not that bad actually.

Louis did it for free
when he fixed my tattoo.

You fixed it? What did he do?

No, he got a little creative
with the phrasing.

One might say poetic.

But, you know, I really
do think he captured my essence,

given the circumstances.

Let me see.

"It's Got Bette Midler."

"It's Got Bette Midler."

Oh, my God, that is genius.

And it makes absolutely
no sense.

But it makes perfect sense, and
I honestly kind of love it.

So, uh, what about
the tongue stud?

Uh...

I think... I was in
the same boat as you.

Ever since Finn died, I've been
going about my business,

but I've also kind of been
in a trance.

And I guess I just needed
to be shocked back to life.

And... there was something about
having a metal stud

go through your tongue
that does the trick.

Hmm.

So, are you going to talk
like that forever?

No, it should go down
after a couple days.

You should totally
get one of these.

Oh, yeah, totally.
Yeah, rethink that tattoo.

I-I don't... I just...

I don't think
that there's anything

that I would, like, love enough
that I would want

to get on my body
for the next 50 years, so...

Well, suit yourself.

Meanwhile, I'm going
to go Skype with Blaine

and show him
my new tat and piercing.

Maybe if I play
a little Maroon 5

I'll get cyber lucky.

Hey, guys. Guys.

Mr. Shue, what's up?

It's not the end
of the week yet.

No. But it is
the end of twerking.

Why? We were killing it.

Well, some of us were.

I know, and I'm sorry.

After the school board meeting,
I thought it was smooth sailing,

but twerking was... and
remains... a hot-button issue.

I didn't think
this was one battle

worth fighting to the death.

Meaning... you caved.

No.

He did it for me,

didn't you, Mr. Shue?

That's why the Porta Potti
is gone.

That's why Principal Sylvester's
out of my business.

I-I'm not putting this
on you, Unique.

I believe I did what anyone
in this room would've done

for one of their friends.

It was a judgment call,

but some things are just more
important than others.

I'm glad we're done twerking.

I didn't like it,
and I never felt comfortable.

Honestly, I just had
an awful week.

I have to admit,

twerking was really fun,
but it...

just doesn't seem like
it was 100% our style.

No big loss.

Yeah, rebelling is one thing,

but betraying who we are,
that's not cool.

We are who we are,
no apologies necessary.

All right, then,

we're moving on,

no regrets, no looking back.

And I agree with you, Artie.

So, I was thinking,

instead of playing
against who we are,

let's embrace it.

Let's lean into our strengths

by finding a song that's
old-school Glee:

upbeat, optimistic,

full of youth, and hope...

Oh, I-I've got something.

♪ I'll believe when
the walls stop turning ♪

♪ I'll believe when the
storm is through ♪

♪ I believe I hear them say ♪

♪ David, won't stop
dreaming now ♪

♪ And everybody clap your hands
and shout ♪

♪ And everybody clap
your hands and shout ♪

♪ Oh, no, they shout ♪

♪ We are young ♪

♪ We are one ♪

♪ Let us shine
for what it's worth ♪

♪ To your place, place, place ♪

♪ We're on our way, way, way ♪

♪ We're on our way, way, way ♪

♪ We're on our way somehow ♪

♪ Hold me close, close, close ♪

♪ We're losing time,
time, time ♪

♪ We're losing time, time,
time ♪

♪ We're falling to the ground ♪

♪ We are young ♪

♪ We are one ♪

♪ Let us shine
for what it's worth ♪

♪ To your place, place, place ♪

♪ We're on our way, way, way ♪

♪ We're on our way, way, way ♪

♪ We're on our way... ♪

♪ Hold me close,
we're losing time ♪

♪ Hold me close,
we're falling to the ground ♪

♪ Taxi driver, sun is rising ♪

♪ Damn the sirens,
keep on driving ♪

♪ Flashing light,
oh, what a night ♪

♪ I miss her bed,
I lost my head ♪

♪ And it's sunning,
we're still running ♪

♪ For her rooftop,
our last stop ♪

♪ Barefoot, naked,
don't you let me go... ♪

♪ To your place, place, place ♪

♪ We're on our way, way, way ♪

♪ We're on our way, way, way ♪

♪ We're on our way somehow ♪

♪ Hold me close, close, close ♪

♪ We're losing time,
time, time ♪

♪ We're losing time, time,
time ♪

♪ We're falling to the ground ♪

♪ We are young ♪

♪ We are one ♪

♪ Let us shine
for what it's worth ♪

♪ To your place, place, place ♪

♪ We're on our way, way, way ♪

♪ We're on our way, way, way,
we're on our way... ♪

♪ Ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah-ah,
ah-ah-ah ♪

♪ This night will never end ♪

♪ This night will never end ♪

♪ Ah-ah-ah, ah-ah-ah-ah,
ah-ah-ah ♪

♪ This night will never end ♪

♪ This night will never end ♪

♪ Hold me close,
we're losing time ♪

♪ Hold me close ♪

♪ We're falling to the ground. ♪