Glee (2009–2015): Season 4, Episode 19 - Sweet Dreams - full transcript

New Directions gets ready for Regionals, where "Dreams" will be the theme. Rachel auditions for a Broadway revival of "Funny Girl."

So here's what you missed
on Glee: A gun went off

at school and everyone
was terrified,

and Sue said it was hers
and had to leave McKinley,

I'm ready to take my punishment. But
secretly she's just protecting Becky.

Emma, stop. Stop.
Finn kissed Emma

and then apologized to Will,
I'm so sorry.

But Will never really forgave
him so Finn went off to college

to fulfill his dream
of becoming a teacher.

happening this season.
And Rachel got an audition

to play Fanny Brice in a
Broadway revival of Funny Girl,

to fulfill her dream of playing
Fanny Brice



in a Broadway production
of Funny Girl.

And that's what you missed
on Glee.

FINN: The truth is, I decided to
go to the Army after high school

because I was kind of
afraid of college.

Smart people go to college,
like doctors.

The whole thing just seemed
scarier than getting shot.

But now that I'm here
at the University of Lima,

I wish I would've come sooner.

I'm studying to be a teacher,
something I love,

and that makes the work
not feel like work.

♪ Con los terroristas



♪ Then do the Harlem Shake

And everywhere you go,



even inside classrooms
and study halls,

people find a way to have fun.

♪ Con los terroristas.

(indistinct chatter)
(lion growls)

College is like this perfect
little bubble between

being a kid and being an adult.

♪ Con los terroristas



♪ Then do the Harlem Shake

(indistinct chatter, whooping)

♪ Ey

♪ Con los terroristas.

(lion growls)

And I've got the rest
of my li to be a grown-up.

♪ (cheering, whooping)

And for now,

it's okay to be young.

(lion growls)

(cheering)

Hey.

Get up.

(zipper opens)

Puck!
(shouts)

What are you doing here?

I live here now.
What?

(shouts, chuckles)

Which dorm?
This one.

Like, right here. Top bunk.
Wh-What happened to Lee Hei?

Hei's no longer. He moved out
a couple hours ago.

I told him if he hoped to get
any studying done this year,

he should probably find another room.
I-I can't believe

you're going here. What
are you taking? Taking?

You mean, like, classes?

Dude, I'm just here
for my bro, some brews

and the bountiful Bettys.

I love college!

Yeah, college!

(both shouting)

RACHEL: Some dreams are bigger
than others.

Me being on Broadway,
that's a big dream.

Me being on Broadway
in Funny Girl as Fanny Brice,

inheriting the mantle
of my idol,

Ms. Barbra Streisand,
that's the culmination

of every dream I've ever had.

Since its premiere in 1964,
Funny Girl has never

been revived on Broadway...
no doubt because

producers haven't been able
to find

an actress capable of filling
Barbra's formidable shoes.

Luckily, I've been grooming
myself for this audition

since I was five,
which is when I first

saw Funny Girl in all
its Technicolor glory.

I heard my dads use the phrase
"star quality" before,

but I never truly understood it
until that moment.

I knew: I needed to be her.

From that point on, it's been
all Barbra, all the time.

Witness my collection:
A feather from Hello, Dolly!;

A yarmulke from Yentl; a boxing
glove from The Main Event;

Signed Playbills; a picture
of her first husband,

Mr. Elliott Gould;
Her second husband,

Mr. James Brolin;
And her paramour

of two years, Canadian
Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau.

But I'm not just approaching
this audition as a fangirl.

I'm approaching this
as a professional

who has sworn off men

and rededicated herself
to the art of being Barbra.

Yes, it's a long shot.

Fanny Brice is the King Lear
of musical theatre roles,

and I'm just an unknown
Jewish girl from Ohio,

who came of the age
in a high school glee club.

But then I remind myself,

Barbra, too, was once
an unknown Jewish girl

who sang
in her high school choir.

And Funny Girl made her a star.

So why can't my dreams
come true, too?

Hello, gorgeous.

ROZ: Excuse my jet lag,
I'm fresh off a plane

from North Korea
where I've been training

their swim team with
my assistant Dennis Rodman.

Do you like the new addition
to my wardrobe?

That's right. I've taken over
the Cheerios!

From that Phantom Menace
Sue Sylvester.

Someone with talent had to.

Did I also mention
that I'm in talks

with Miss Oprah Winfrey

to launch my very own
Cheerio! Network?

Like George Jefferson,
I'm movin' on up.

How is your delicate group
of weirdos? Are they still

rattled by that fake
school shooting?

That was a terrifying experience
for those kids.

And the adults.
I'm still having nightmares.

Honey, please.
I'm a child of the ghetto.

I can't sleep at night unless
I hear at least two gunshots.

Hey.

You get a chance
to talk to Finn yet?

No. I'm not ready.
Will, come on.

You need to patch the hole
in this fence

so the squirrels don't escape.

People grow apart, Shannon.
That's life.

Th-There's nothing wrong
with that.

That's what I thought about me
and my sister, Denise.

We used to scrap like grizzlies
in the Arctic,

and then when all that stuff

went down with Cooter,

she helped me out,

and we finally got to talkin'.

I'm more stubborn
than anybody here...

(chuckles) but I swallowed hard

and made amends with her.

It was one of the best things
I've ever done in my life.

Make the effort, Will.

It's worth it.

(school bell ringing)

MARLEY: I, Marley Rose,
have made a decision.

I took that false bottom
out of my desk drawer,

and I'm finally going to let
my songs see the light of day.

I want to be like all those
singer-songwriters.

I look up to: Joni Mitchell,
Norah Jones, Chrissie Hynde.

I've been trying
to bring it up with everyone,

but ever since the gun
went off in school,

everyone's been acting strange.

It's like they've all got PTSD.

BRITTANY: They really want me
to study string theory,

but I'm not all that interested
in arts and crafts.

Brittany's acting weird
because M.I.T. found out

about her S.A.T. score,
and they're pressuring her

for early commitment.

Isn't M.I.T in Europe?
That would suck.

Hey, Tina. Are you
trying out a new look?

It's called steampunk.
It's the next big thing.

Oh. God, I love it.

(Australian accent): Oh, hey there.
You must, uh, be Marley.

Hi, Sam. That's not Sam.
That's Sam's

smarter twin brother, Evan.
Evan Evans.

What a pleasure to meet you.

Oh. Phone's ringing.
Oh, it's my brother.

Oh, hey, Sam, I was actually
just looking for you...

So have you guys heard
who's taking over the Cheerios!?

Yeah, it's insane.
And it made me realize

I have no idea whether I'm
on the Cheerios! Or not.

Like, literally can't remember.

Hey, guys.

Have you seen Evan?
You just missed him.

He went that way.

(groans)

I think Sam might have
a little separation anxiety,

so he's pretending
he has a twin. And then...

there's Unique.
Unique, what are you doing?

Are those birth control pills?
Shh!

Don't blow a girl's cover. Kitty hooked
me up with a prescription for Loestrin,

and I heard that two dolls
a day will turn my Bs

into Ds in no time.

Guys, have you...
seen my twin?

Oh! Getting a call.
Hold on.

Oh, hey. Man, I was
just looking for you!

Unique, you cannot
take birth control.

Why not? Trans kids
everywhere are doing it.

All right, bro. Well,
I'll tell 'em you said hi.

Oh, yeah, yeah.
Have fun at the zoo.

I've just got to build up
the courage to tell everyone

that I want us to perform one
of my songs at regionals.

It would be a dream come true.

WILL: Big news, guys.
I just got a direct tweet

from the Greater Midwest
Regional.

High School Show Choir
Board of Directors.

(light cheering)

The theme
for this year's regionals

is...
Sweaters.

...dreams.

(sighs) Close.

As you know,
some of the past judges

we've had haven't been
that bright,

or that sober,

so our best bet is to take

the dream theme literally.

We'll start out
with "Dream Weaver"

and then we'll segue
into "Sweet Dreams"

and we'll bring it home

with "You Make
My Dreams Come True."

Okay.

Marley, you're frowning.

No. I just don't know
any of those songs.

Well, you'll know them
soon enough

because we're learning them
today.

(clears throat) Maybe...

could we try
some original songs,

like you did two years ago?

Yeah, my twin brother Sam
told me you guys

totally crushed
regionals two years ago

with those sweet tunes.

Well, S... um, Evan,

that was a different time
and a different team.

Mr. Shue, could we at least talk
about the set list?

I mean, when Finn was here,
we got to help...

Do I have to remind you guys
how lucky we are

to even be at regionals?

We're there on a technicality,

which means there's absolutely

no room for even
the smallest of mistakes.

Trust me.

Anybody else have something
they want to say?

Great. Brad, warm 'em up.

(school bell ringing)
As honorary Rachel,

I would like to convene

this secret meeting
of the glee club.

Oh. Sam's sorry
he couldn't make it.

He said
to tell every... Oh.

Just got a text.

He's here.

Oh, hey, Sam.
Hey, Evan.

How long are we gonna
let him do this?

Just let it go.

It's like waking a sleepwalker.
It might kill him.

Hey, guys. Sorry I'm
late. What'd I miss?

What you missed
was Mr. Shue's set list.

It's gonna lose us regionals.

Oh, yeah, Evan was saying
something about that.

"Dream Weaver." Great song,
but it's from 1975.

"Sweet Dreams (Are Made
of This)." Amazing.

Released in 1982.

"You Make My Dreams Come True."

Originally performed in 1981,

and then performed again
by the glee club in a mash-up

that we did last year,

which Mr. Shue
didn't even remember.

He's completely lost touch.

We're screwed.
Can I get a witness?

We need to do current songs,

and if we do,
I know we can win.

(clears throat) Uh, guys...

can I say something?

I wrote some songs.
What if we performed those?

Please. No one wants to hear a
song about a fat mom. Okay.

What about...
Or a song about barfing.

But what about a song... Or a
song about loving an octoroon.

BLAINE: All right, all
right, all right, let's...

let's get serious.
We need to start brainstorming.

We'll pick a new set list
and then we'll break the news

(bell ringing)
to Mr. Shue.

(Wagner's "Ride
of the Valkyries" playing)

(students chanting):
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!

(neck cracks)

(knuckles crack)

(cheering, whooping)

(Puck shouts)

(cheering, whooping)

(sizzling)

Excuse me, ladies.
Where are your tickets?

Wait, we need tickets?

Rules are rules.

Wait, wait, wait.

You both seem
like really nice girls,

and I don't want you
to miss out on all the fun...

...so I'm willing to make
an exception just this once.

Oh, my God,
you're such a sweetheart.

I am. Mm. Thing is,

if I let you go for free
and anybody hears about that,

the whole system
could collapse.

So I'm gonna need you
to pay me with your bikini tops.

Okay.
Okay.

("Ride of the Valkyries"
continues)

Okay.

(cheering, whooping)

Ah! Mr. Shue! Hey!
Whoa...

Welcome to Geneva Hall,

aka Chez Puckerman.
Noah, I-I didn't know

you were enrolled here. Well,
I'm not technically enrolled,

but, you know, I'm just
auditing a few classes.

Do you even know
what that means?

Got to go.

♪ Shing-a-ling ♪
♪ Like I do

♪ Nobody can do the ♪ Skate ♪

♪ Like I do, nobody can do the

♪ Boogaloo ♪
♪ Like I do, nobody can do

Looks like you're really
having the college experience.

I hope you're finding time
to make it to class.

You know, Mr. Shue, I don't
need you to come into my house

and tell me how to live my life.

You're right.

Look, I-I came here
to apologize.

I was still stinging from
what happened at the wedding

and then when you told me
about... kissing Emma,

I totally mishandled
the situation.

And now I really see that we only
have so many days, you know?

I want you to come back and
help me coach the glee club.

They need you.
I need you.

PUCK: Finn! I just got us invited
to the Delta Kappa Chi frat party

tonight. It's supposed to be the
biggest party of the year. Yeah!

Yeah!
(chuckles)

I got to shave my hello giggles.

Good to see you, Mr. Shue.
Yeah.

Thanks, Puck.

Thanks, but no, thanks.

I'm not expecting things to just
go back to normal right away.

I'm willing to work at this.

Well, I'm not.

There's just some things
you can't come back from.

It's a nice offer,

but as you can see,

I'm pretty busy with college.

(crowd chanting)

♪ Like I do, nobody can
do the ♪ (yelling)

♪ Shake ♪
♪ Like I do

♪ Nobody can do the (cheering)

♪ Boogaloo ♪
♪ Like I do

♪ Nobody can do the (cheering)

♪ Philly ♪
♪ Like I do...

(cheering and whooping)

(school bell ringing) All right,
guys, let's get right into it.

And remember,
the trick is the change

in vocal quality
from the smooth,

sultry sounds of Gary Wright

to the commanding
tone of Annie Lennox,

and then back to the poppy fun
of Darryl Hall.

Uh, Mr. Shue?

Um, we kind of got
together as a group

after you gave us
these songs yesterday, and

we came up with
some... alternatives.

Why would you do that?

Mm, you might need some woman
parts to help you sell that.

I'll go get Evan.

Sam, sit down.

Honestly, I don't even know

what's going on
in this room anymore.

What happened to you guys?

Openly defying me?

Unique, you need
to tone it down

with the whole boob thing.

Sam, we all know you
don't have a twin brother,

and frankly, it's distracting.

And, Blaine, I am
disappointed in you

for allowing this to go on.

I'm sorry,
but we're just trying to...

No, what you were trying
to do is not rehearsing

the song list that I gave you,
and that is unacceptable.

So here's what's
going to happen.

I'm going to go
to the teachers' lounge

and get the coffee that I
skipped to get here early,

and when I get back
in five minutes,

you will be ready
to rehearse... my songs.

Okay, so let's start
with the Funny Girl classics.

I know them by heart.

But anyway, I just
want to go over...

I always seem to find you
the piano, rehearsing.

Shelby.

Oh, my God,
what are you doing here?!

I'm trying to track you down.

I wanted to find you before
your Funny Girl audition.

You found out about that?
We're Facebook

friends, Rachel. You
started posting as Barbra.

I noticed.
Look, I'm sorry, okay?

I just felt... a little weird.

You know, I know
that you have the same affection

with Funny Girl as I do, and I just...
You didn't want to remind me

that I never got to play the
role, and now it's too late?

I love my life. I do.

It's not the life that I
always imagined I'd be living,

but I have Beth, and I have

this new Broadway
Daycare business,

and we're both in
the same city now,

so I get to see you a lot more.

I have no regrets.

In fact, as much as it was
my dream to maybe study

at a school like NYADA, and, um,

perform songs like that

on a Broadway stage... Shelby.

...my bigger, better
dream now is to see my

incredibly beautiful daughter
perform those songs.

Just... not at
your audition.

Honey, you can't do Barbra.
What?!

No. Fanny Brice is
the most iconic role.

Okay, this is...
this is the only way to do it.

Yeah, Hamlet's an iconic role,
and it's been done differently

and successfully by Laurence
Olivier, Kenneth Branagh,

Richard Burton, Keanu Reeves...

Okay, Hamlet is different.
This is Fanny.

Yes, and they cast Barbra
as Fanny

because she was one-of-a-kind.

She was an original.

If the producers are smart,

they're not gonna be
looking for some carbon copy.

They're gonna want a fresh
interpretation, someone

that can put their own stamp
on the role.

Well, I've just been learning.

Barbra's entire
repertoire, so...

It's okay. You have time.

We'll find something.
I'll help you.

This may not be 100% right,

but maybe it will inspire you.

And any excuse

to sing next to you.

(Emeli Sandé's
"Next To Me" begins)

♪ You won't find him
drinking on the tables ♪

♪ Rolling dice
or staying out till 3:00 ♪

♪ You won't ever find him
being unfaithful ♪

♪ You will find him

♪ You'll find him next to me ♪

♪ You won't find him
trying to chase the devil ♪

♪ For money, fame,
for power, out of greed ♪

♪ You won't ever find him
where the rest go ♪

♪ You will find him,
you'll find him next to me ♪

♪ Next to me ♪ Next to me

BOTH (in harmony):
♪ Oh, oh

♪ Next to me ♪ Next to me

♪ Oh, oh

♪ Next to me ♪ Next to me

♪ Oh, oh

♪ Ooh, I will find him,
I'll find him next to me ♪

♪ When the end has come

♪ And buildings
falling down fast ♪

♪ When we've spoilt the land
and dried up all the sea ♪

♪ When everyone has lost
their heads around us ♪

BOTH: ♪ You will find him,
you'll find him next to me ♪

♪ Next to me ♪ Next to me

♪ Oh, oh, oh...

♪ Oh, oh, next to me

BOTH:
♪ Ooh, ooh

♪ Next to me, yeah

♪ Oh, whoa-oh, whoa

♪ You will find him,
you'll find him ♪

♪ Next to me

♪ Next to me, yeah

♪ Next to me

BOTH:
♪ Next to me, yeah, yeah

♪ Next to me

♪ Next to me

BOTH:
♪ Yeah, yeah

BOTH: ♪ You will find him,
you'll find him ♪

♪ Next to me, yeah

Kick it!

(Beastie Boys' "Fight
for Your Right To Party" begins)

♪ You wake up late for school,
man, you don't want to go ♪

♪ You ask your mom, "Please,"
but she still says, "No!" ♪

(groaning)

♪ You missed two classes
and no homework ♪

(shouting)

♪ But your teacher
preaches class ♪

♪ Like you're some kind
of jerk ♪

♪ You got to fight

♪ For your right

♪ To party

♪ Your pops caught you smoking,
man, he said, "No way" ♪

♪ That hypocrite smokes
two packs a day ♪

♪ Man, living at home
is such a drag ♪

♪ Now your mom threw away
your best porno mag ♪

♪ Busted

♪ You gotta fight

♪ For your right

♪ To party

♪ You gotta fight

♪ For your right

♪ To party

Yay!

(cheering)

♪ Par... ty

♪ Par... ty

♪ Part...

Fight for your right!

♪ ...ty.

(cheering)

(laughing) Oh!

Dude, that was awesome!

Dudes. Dudes, I'm Matt Cromley,

house president.

This is Chip.
He's in charge of pledging.

You guys want us to
pledge or something?

Under normal circumstances,
we'd ask you to pledge.

Then you'd have to go through
a six-week hazing program.

But dudes, this is
our biggest party of the year,

and when the stereo broke,
we all thought it was ruined.

CHIP: You saved our
house and its honor

and its position
as top party house on campus.

Well, Puck and I... we do
have musical training.

Glee club?
That's awesome.

So, listen, even though
you guys are apparently gay,

we'd like to invite you
to become brothers here.

No hazing or anything.
Just say yes, and you're in.

Yeah.

The sacred ritual of partying!

Oh! Yeah!
Yeah!

(groaning and laughing)

Man.
Whoa...

Yeah!

(cheering and yelling)

(school bell ringing)

I'm also naturally
enhancing my breasts.

Every night, I rub
them with cocoa butter,

Vitamin E and wild yams.

Yes, uh, has anybody,
uh, seen Sam?

Yeah, I think
he's behind that curtain.

Sorry I'm late.

What's up, Marley? Brad?

Uh, I wrote a song.

I don't know if it's any good.

I just... I want
to hear it out loud.

And no,

or bad Taylor Swift
boyfriend drama.

It's about

how much
friends like you mean to me.

Lord, I am crying already.

(soft laughter)

I just saw how upset you guys
got after Mr. Shue yelled at us,

and you three seemed
to take the worst part of it.

So, I wrote this song
to make you

feel better,
as corny as that sounds.

Will you sing it with me?

No. Just kidding.

Of course we would.
Hit it, dude.

(piano plays soft,
gentle melody)

♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh

♪ We feel

♪ We hear

♪ Your pain

♪ Your fear

♪ But we're here

♪ To say

♪ Who you are

♪ Is okay

♪ And you don't have
to go through this ♪

♪ On your own

♪ You're not

♪ Alone

♪ You have

♪ More friends than you know

♪ Some who surround you

♪ Some you are destined
to meet ♪

♪ You'll have more love
in your life ♪

♪ Don't let go, give it time

♪ Take it slow

♪ Those who love you the most

♪ May need more time to grow

♪ It's gonna be okay

♪ Gonna be okay ♪

♪ You have more friends
than you know ♪

♪ Be who you are

♪ Learn to forgive

♪ It's not about who you love

♪ But how ♪ But how

♪ How you live How you live ♪

♪ O-Oh

♪ O-Oh

♪ You

♪ Have

♪ More

♪ Friends than you know

♪ Than you know ♪some who

♪ Surround you ♪ Yeah

♪ Some you are
destined to meet ♪

♪ To meet

♪ You have more ♪ More ♪

♪ Love in your life

♪ Don't let go

♪ Give it time

♪ Give it time ♪

♪ Take it slow

♪ Take it slow

♪ Those who love you the most

♪ May need more time to

♪ Grow ♪ Grow ♪

♪ Oh

♪ It's gonna be okay

♪ It's gonna be okay

♪ You have

♪ More friends

♪ Than you

♪ Know

♪ It's gonna be okay.

BLAINE:
Marley, that was

incredible.

Child, it's the soundtrack
to my life.

Do you have any more
songs like these?

Yeah, a couple.

Maybe we can meet up
again and sing them.

No. Forget that. No, what we
need to do is tell everyone.

We have to tell Mr. Shue about this.
MARLEY: No.

He made it pretty clear
he's not interested.

(music playing,
people chattering nearby)

(phone ringing)

(sighs)

You're probably still pissed
about Brody,

so I'll start by saying
that I'm sorry

and that my hand still hurts.

His face has sharp edges.

Okay, I'm-I'm not...
I'm not mad, I...

Actually, I think I owe
you a debt of gratitude.

Just, um...

you know, I wish that you
would've stayed and...

hung around a little longer.

Next time, I promise.

So, how is college?

It's a dream come true.

Parties with Puck...

Puck? Puck is there?

Yeah, he's here.

Long story, but...

it's amazing.

Every night, we go out,

we-we're meeting new people...

Well, then, that sounds amazing.

I'm... it's really great.

I, uh, actually I just,

I needed to, um,

to ask you something.

Let me guess:
Funny Girl auditions.

I knew you'd remember.

Finn, I can't believe
that this moment is happening,

and I know that
this is a long shot,

but I need to find
the most perfect song to sing,

and-and-and no Barbra.

You're one of the most
unique talents in the world.

You always shine your brightest

when you do something
personal, something

intimately important
that defines you.

So just do something
that takes you back

to the roots of your passion.

That's what people want to see,

and that's what makes
the best impression.

Make those producers
fall in love with you

in that moment on the stage.

And I know you have it in you.

(sighs)

Wow.

Thank you, that was, uh...

perfect advice.

You'll be great.

Can't wait to come
to a show sometime.

Call me as soon
as it's over, okay?

I will.

(soprano singing aria)

Thank you for... that.

(chuckles)
We will let you know.

Thanks.
This is what you get

for holding an open cattle call
for Funny Girl.

Let me just put a little
"yikes" next to her name.

Told you we should
have made an offer

to Miley Cyrus.
All right.

Let's just plow ahead, shall we?

Rachel Berry,

hit the stage, you're up.

(clears throat softly)

Um... hi.

I'm Rachel Berry, and I'll be
singing a classic.

(piano starts to play Journey's
"Don't Stop Believin'")

♪ Oh

♪ Just a small town girl

♪ Livin' in a lonely world

♪ She took the midnight train

♪ Going anywhere

♪ Just a city boy

♪ Born and raised
in South Detroit ♪

♪ He took the midnight train

♪ Going anywhere

♪ Do, do, do, do, do, do ♪

♪ Do, do, do, do,
da-da, da-da, da-da ♪

♪ A singer in a smoky room

♪ A smell of wine
and cheap perfume ♪

♪ For a smile they can
share the night ♪

♪ It goes on and on
and on and on ♪

♪ Strangers waiting
♪ Strangers waiting ♪

♪ Ba, da ♪

♪ Up and down the boulevard
♪ Ba, da ♪

♪ Their shadows

♪ Searching in the
♪ Searching ♪

♪ Ba, da ♪
♪ Night

♪ Ba, da ♪

♪ Oh, streetlights
♪ Streetlights ♪

♪ People ♪ People ♪

♪ Ba, da ♪
♪ Livin'

♪ Just to find emotion

♪ Hiding ♪ Hiding ♪

♪ Somewhere ♪ Somewhere ♪

♪ In the night ♪ Somewhere ♪

♪ In the night ♪

(guitar solo)

♪ Oh, whoa

♪ Don't stop ♪ Don't stop ♪

♪ Believin' ♪ Believin' ♪

♪ Hold onto that feeling

♪ Streetlights ♪ Streetlights ♪

♪ People ♪ People ♪

♪ Oh, oh ♪

♪ Don't stop believin'
♪ Don't stop believin' ♪

♪ Hold on

♪ Streetlights people
♪ Streetlights people ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

♪ Don't stop.
♪ Don't stop. ♪

WOMAN:
Well,

thank you, Ms.... Berry.

That was something...

quite different.

Sorry.

What?
Rachel.

Suddenly, something
happened to you

in the middle of the song.

What was going on there?

I was thinking
about my friends.

Um, how I wouldn't be
the person I am today,

standing in front of you,

doing what I'm doing

right now if they hadn't
shown me that I could.

If they hadn't believed in me.

Thank you.

(grunts)

(sniffs) Dude...

Dude, yourself.

What the hell is this?

(grunts)

Uh, it's from my sociology prof.

Guess I missed another test.
No biggie.

Crap, what time is it?

I'm late to play Frolf
with that Cromley guy.

Dude, it is a biggie.
It's a very biggie.

Isn't that class one of your
requirements for your teaching major?

Don't worry,
I'm gonna pass that class.

The... the final's worth,
like, 60% of the grade.

I'll just cram and ace it.

Is that your dream?

To barely skate through school

and become a mediocre teacher?

Wait, since when do you care
about school so much, man?

You're not even in school.
Dude.

This isn't high school anymore.

It's not just about potential.

This is the real casaba.

So you're a crappy
high school student.

Who cares?

But if you're a crappy teacher,

that means something.

(sighs)

Look.

This has been awesome.

I'm having the time of my life.

And doing it with my best bud

is a dream come true.

But last night, I was
in bed with three chicks,

and I was thinking,
"What is this all about

for you, Puckerman?"

So, what'd you come up with?

I want to show all of 'em.

Everyone who ever
crossed the street

when I came down the sidewalk

or didn't call on me in class

'cause they just assumed
I'd fart my answer,

or told me I'd be
pumping gas someday

that we are worth something.

That we are more
than they say we are.

(sighs)

I'm not saying we
need to stop having

a good time,
but partying this hard,

skipping out on tests,

that's their vision
of who we are.

Doesn't have to be ours.

So what are you gonna do,
like, enroll here now?

I still think school's
for suckers,

but I'm gonna stay here
and write my screenplay

and be on your ass

24-7 to make sure
that you become

the best teacher
that you can be.

We've always known
we were special.

This is our chance to prove it.

Yeah.

(warbles) Ew.

(laughs) Get to work.

I'll grab the iron and make us

some grilled cheeses.

(groans)

(school bell rings)

Mm.

You wanted to see us, Coach?
Yes.

Come on in and have a seat.

It is my understanding

that I have inherited you

as co-captains
of the Cheerios!

And by looking at the
two of you right now,

that makes me
extremely suspicious.

Suspicious? Why?

Oh, I understand why.

Coach Sylvester's
daughter Robin is here.

Sue Sylvester

is as old as the hills,

so when she gave birth
to her fully grown,

16-year-old baby with
Down syndrome, it was

a miracle, and she wanted

to bring her to school every day
and show her off.

You're the one that makes
me suspicious,

Fruity Fonzie.

You ain't never done
a cheerleading routine

in your life,

but somehow you get.

Sue Sylvester to make you

co-captain of the Cheerios!,

and then, three weeks later,
out of nowhere,

Sue Sylvester gets fired.

That makes me

real suspicious.

That makes me think
that you used your handsome

fruity voodoo powers
and put a hex on her

that caused her to bring a gun
to school for no reason

and get real clumsy
so she drops it twice

and it goes off both times.

That sounds like

some dark-sided, fruity
voodoo stuff to me.

But that didn't really happen!

Blaine had nothing
to do with it!

How do you know?
Were you there?

No.

Exactly.
So here's

the deal... if you
want to stay

on board as co-captain
of the Cheerios!,

you're gonna have to take
a blood oath and loyalty pledge.

What? A blood oath?

Is-is that even safe?

Probably not.

So we'll just take the oath.

Repeat after me.

I, Fruity Fonzie
and adult baby Robin...

BOTH: I, Fruity Fonzie
and adult baby Robin...

...do solemnly swear... BOTH:.
..do solemnly swear...

...to never put a hex
on Coach Roz Washington.

To never To never

hex on Coach Roz Washington. To...
on Coach Roz Washington.

Causing her to bring a gun to
school so she gets real clumsy

and drops it and it goes off
twice in a row.

BOTH: Causing her to
bring a gun to school

so she gets real clumsy
and drops it

so it goes off twice in a row.

So help me God.

BOTH:
So help me God.

You are free to go.

(bell ringing)

Becky, wait up.

Hurry up, I'm gonna be
late for calculus.

Becky, um, you were acting
particularly strange

in there just now.

Do you know something I don't

about what happened
with Coach Sue?

Mind your own gay business,
gay Blaine.

I don't know anything!

(groans)

(groans)

(distance cheering and applause)
(sighs)

(cheering and applause
continues)

(cheering and applause
stops) FINN: Mr. Shue?

You were right.

About what?

(chuckles)

Me.

N-Needing to get my focus back.

So I-I talked to the Dean
of Students about your offer,

and she said she's willing
to give me college credit

for all the time
that I spend here helping out.

Is that your way of saying
apology accepted?

That's my way of saying
I'm willing to come back.

But if I do,

things have got to be different.

No more fetching your coffee

or picking up
your dry cleaning.

I mean, I don't want
to come back to be a gopher.

It's got to be a partnership.

I want to be treated
like an equal.

Like a...

like a teacher.

And then you bring your best
and I bring my best

and we go get another trophy.

That all seems fair.

But I also have a condition.

Let's just move past this.

Right.

(bell ringing)
Looking good, Unique.

(chuckles) You, too, Tina.

Very Jules Verne.

Hey, Blaine. Sam.

I'm Evan. Sam moved to Alaska.

Oh. Well-well, tell him
he's welcome back anytime.

(sighs)

So... just about 20 years ago,

I was sitting right
where you are now.

I was co-captain
of the soccer team

with a forehead full of acne

and a dream of being
the next Vanilla Ice. (Chuckles)

And standing

right here was Mrs. Adler.

She constantly mumbled
to herself and

she stuffed used Kleenex
up her sleeves.

We all were convinced
that she was crazy.

But you know what?

That's why we loved her...

because we were crazy, too.

This is the room
that always felt like home.

Maybe because we knew
Lillian Adler loved music

almost as much as she loved us.

And that's how I feel about you.

Every one of you.

And-and I'm sorry
if I made any of you feel

like you don't have
a voice in this room.

You do.

And I know someone else
who does, too.

(snaps fingers) ARTIE: My man!

(laughter, cheering)

Finn and I are gonna be
working together as a team.

Equal partners.

And we are not gonna
eat, sleep or breathe

until you've blasted
through regionals

and earned your rightful spot
at nationals.

Yes! Yes!
(cheering and applause)

All right, down to business.

Marley, you're up.
Okay.

I haven't quite memorized
"Dream Weaver" yet,

but I think I have "Sweet
Dreams." Didn't I tell you?

Those are out.

I want you to teach us one
of your original songs.

If that's okay.

I'd love that.

So shall it be written!
So shall it be done!

(cheering and applause)

(metallic creaking)

So, what is Broadway
Daycare exactly?

(sighs) All the show people who have
kids... while they're rehearsing

or performing... they send them
to Shelby's studio

and she teaches them,
like, dance routines

and songs and plays
theatre games with them.

It's like Fame for toddlers.

Well,

no news is good news, right?

Cookie?

At this point, if I haven't
heard anything...

Life goes on.

You know,
Fanny was just a dream.

at the Pasadena Playhouse,
and... I don't know... I think.

Johanna could be a good role for me.
Do you regret

not doing Barbra
for the audition?

No way.

Honestly, something so special
and something magical

happened in that room, and
if those producers are too...

narrow-minded
or star-obsessed...

(phone vibrating)

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God, it's a number
I don't recognize.

What do I do? What do I do?
Uh,

ans-ans-answer it. Answer it. Yes, yes, yes.
Pick it up? Okay.

Hello?

Uh, yes, this is she.

Uh, yeah, of-of cour...
of course.

Yes. Yes.

Thank you so much. Thank you.

That was...
one of the producers.

And?

And I got a callback for Fanny!

(laughing) I got a callback!

(excited chattering)

♪ Who's to say ♪

♪ Who's not okay? ♪

♪ The breakaways ♪

♪ Will outlast, will outlast ♪

♪ Sticks and stones ♪

♪ Will break these bones ♪

♪ They're just some drones ♪

♪ To get past, I'll get past ♪

♪ Feeling downcast ♪
♪ You're feeling ♪

♪ Like an outcast ♪
♪ Like an outcast ♪

♪ Underdogs it's time to ♪
♪ Yeah ♪

♪ It's time to bite back ♪

♪ We are, we are, we are ♪

♪ Stronger from every scar ♪

♪ Brighter than any star ♪

♪ We're the outcast ♪

♪ Ou-Ou-Outcast ♪

♪ There's nothing you can say ♪

♪ To blow our dreams away ♪

♪ We rise above the fray ♪

♪ We're the outcast ♪

♪ Ou-Ou-Outcast ♪

♪ I'd rather be outrageous
than ♪

♪ Just another
dull cliché again ♪

♪ I'd rather be a rainbow than ♪

♪ Just some shade of gray ♪

♪ We are, we are, we are ♪

♪ Stronger from every scar ♪
♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Brighter than any star ♪
♪ Yeah ♪

♪ The outcast ♪

♪ The outcast ♪

♪ Whoa, whoa ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Whoa, whoa ♪

♪ Stronger from every scar ♪

♪ The outcast, ou-ou-outcast ♪
♪ Outcast ♪

♪ Outcast ♪
♪ Whoa, whoa ♪

♪ Whoa, whoa ♪
♪ Oh ♪

♪ Brighter than any star ♪
♪ Oh ♪

♪ We're the outcast,
ou-ou-outcast ♪
♪ The outcast ♪

♪ Whoa, whoa ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Whoa, whoa ♪

♪ We are, we are, we are ♪

♪ The outcast,
ou-ou-outcast. ♪