Glee (2009–2015): Season 4, Episode 20 - Lights Out - full transcript

When the power goes out at McKinley High, the Glee Club members go back to the basics and perform acoustic numbers.

So here's what you missed
on Glee.

Ryder's getting catfished and
he has no idea who's doing it,

except he sort of knows
who's doing it 'cause when

he called them, someone's
phone rang in the choir room,

which means it's somebody
in Glee Club.

Sue left McKinley to protect
Becky, which is crazy,

and Santana's living in
New York with Kurt and Rachel,

but she doesn't have a bedroom
and she doesn't go to NYADA,

so what exactly
is she doing, anyway?

And that's what you missed
on Glee.

Hey, Kitty,
who are you texting?



Let me see your phone.

I'm playing 4 Pics 1 Word,
weirdo stalker.

Do I need to get
a restraining order?

Guys, we got a problem.

Her name is Frida Romero.

With regionals only
a few weeks away,

I went to scout out
the competition.

♪ The bombs bursting in air...

The Hoosierdaddies have
a secret weapon.

She's a tiny little sophomore,
never competed before,

but her voice

could fill an arena.

I mean, it's big.

And the only way to beat them



is to be huge.

I'm talking stadium huge.

Epic songs
that will blow the heads

off of 100,000 people at a time.

Zombie apocalypse.

Or Beyonce's halftime show.

Children, this power outage

is not an emergency.

Nor is it an excuse to go
wilding through the hallways.

While we're investigating
the root of this near calamity,

classes will continue

and your brains are to remain

in the on positions.

If the darkness persists,

candles and flashlights
will be distributed based

on grade point average.

I now have to turn

off the P.A. system

so I can save
our precious generator resources

for the coffee machine

and my plug-in

lower back vibrator.

Okay, that puts a damper

on our stadium songs.

Time for a new
appropriate lesson.

Ladies and gentlemen,

it's unplugged week.

I can't believe she
blew me off like that.

Who? Katie?

How do you even know
this person is a she?

Or even a human?
Look, stop, all right?

All I know is I've had this
really amazing connection.

You've got to let this go, man.

It's crazy.
You don't even know her.

Look, you don't understand,
Jake.

I've never felt
so close to someone.

Look, I told her things

about myself, about my past,

I've never told anyone.

Ever.

If this were to get out...
Wait.

I thought your biggest secret
was dyslexia.

Well, what is it?

I can't.

Fine, dude, keep it all

locked away
for a few more years,

but it's not going away.

Maybe you should think
about starting to share

your deep, dark secrets
with people you actually know.

Right? I found this
out by the Dumpster.

With a little TLC

and three clicks
from Kurt's ruby slippers,

this bad boy
would be salvageable.

Um, can you please take a seat, because Kurt and
I would like to have a conversation with you.

All right, you know what, Rachel,
if you are still obsessing

over what you're gonna sing
at your Funny Girl callback,

may I suggest
your best jam ever,

"Run, Joey, Run."

We think you're throwing
your life away.

It's bad enough you let

those horny tourists
grope you for tips

at that awful Coyote Ugly bar,

but Tina just informed me

that you are now a bouncer
at a lesbian beer garden?

And you're a go-go girl.
A go-go girl!

Oh, yeah, a girl-bar go-go girl.

I am a cage dancer...
big difference.

I'm dressed as Barbarella,
and I'm sorry,

but some of us actually
need to work for a living.

Okay, that's not the point.

Okay, you're so talented,
Santana.

You're, like,
the most talented person I know,

obviously with the exception
of me and Kurt.

But your voice, it's electric,

and I would kill for
half of your dancing abilities.

So I'm telling you
what you told me,

which is that you just need to
stop and focus on your talent.

Well, maybe I don't want to be
in Funny Girl, okay?

Or be a singing waiter at
the Fire Island Pancake Shack.

So why don't you just
stop trying to force

all of your creaky
old-time Broadway dreams

on to my amazingly
awesome dream.

And what's that?

I am trying to figure that out.

What is so wrong with taking

a little time
to figure things out?

Nothing. But what about doing
something in the meantime?

Like dance lessons?

NYADA has a great
extension program

for non-students.
Yeah.

Something to keep
your motors revved,

you know...
My "motor"

is revved every night
that I cage dance.

And while I appreciate
your pity,

I don't really think
I need to be taking

any advice from TV's Blossom

and Lady Elaine Fairchilde.

Would you take

your chair with you?

All right, I know
these conditions aren't ideal,

but I want to thank you guys
for toughing it out.

And we have our first volunteer,
who is going to show us

how to get back to basics
and really strip it down.

So, let's give it up for Sam.

Right.

Uh, take it away.

Thanks.

Um, well,

when Mr. Shue started
talking about being big,

I started thinking
about Phil Spector's

legendary Wall of Sound,
and how he would use, like,

thousands of instruments

so his songs could really
fill a stadium.

And then I started
thinking about stripping,

um,

out all that extra noise

to get to the essence
of the song.

Plus, my mom said that
I was conceived to this song,

so I kind of literally
owe my existence

to the Righteous Brothers.

Anyways, uh, here it goes.

♪ You never close your eyes

♪ Anymore when I kiss
your lips ♪

♪ And there's no tenderness

♪ Like before

♪ In your fingertips

♪ You're trying hard
not to show it ♪

♪ But, baby

♪ Baby, I know it

♪ You've lost
that lovin' feelin' ♪

♪ Whoa, that lovin' feelin'

♪ You've lost
that lovin' feelin' ♪

♪ Now it's gone, gone, gone

♪ Whoa-whoa-oh

♪ We had a love

♪ A love, a love
you don't find every day ♪

♪ Oh, baby

♪ Oh, baby ♪
♪ So don't

♪ Don't, don't

♪ Don't let it slip away

♪ Baby

♪ Baby ♪
♪ Yeah

♪ Bring back
that lovin' feelin' ♪

♪ Whoa, that lovin' feelin'

♪ Bring back
that lovin' feelin' ♪

♪ 'Cause it's gone, gone, gone

♪ And I can't go on

♪ Whoa-whoa-whoa.

Wow, you see that, guys?

That's the kind of power
and passion

that we need for regionals.

Good job, Sam.

Um, next up, uh, Artie.

Show us what you got.

I'm sorry, Mr. Shue.

I can't do Miguel
without my synth.

I needs my synth!

No, you needs to man up.

Excuse me?

You know how often
the power went off at my house,

how many times my dad couldn't
afford to pay the stupid bill?

Relax, dude. I had to entertain
my brother and sister

with just my guitar
and my voice,

and we didn't have any synth.

I mean, like, I saw you
texting during my song,

and it's not just you;
It's all of us.

We're so focused
on being plugged in

to the Twitterverse
and the Blogosphere

that we don't appreciate what's
actually right in front of us.

And I think that that's
just sad and lame.

Great, so we'll include
a Blu-ray of Black Swan,

um, in the gift bag and a note

from the director,
"How Ballet Inspired Me."

Oh, that's perfect.

Thanks, Darren.

I appreciate it.

Oh, and, uh, listen,

you're at my table,
seated next to Christopher.

So be nice.

All right, bye.

Darren...?

Aronofsky. Christopher Nolan.

Oh.
You may be seated.

So, first of all,
how is your dad?

Oh, uh, thank you for asking.

He's doing good.

Um, he's back at work,

and all his treatments
seem to be working.

Good, I'm happy to hear that.

I thought you might
have called me in here

because, um,
you were gonna fire me.

What? Why would I do that?

When you gave me the internship,
you said it would be 24/7,

and ever since
I got accepted to NYADA...

You haven't been coming in
as much.

We've noticed.

But quality

trumps quantity always.

And though NYADA's gain

I will never stop anyone
from pursuing their passion.

But I need your help.

You know I'm co-chairing
the gala

for New York City Ballet's
educational programs?

Yeah, it's only the social event
of the performing arts season.

My celebrity wrangler
just canceled.

It was going
to be Anna's daughter,

but she got the chicken pox
à la Barbara Walters.

So I need somebody.

I need somebody good

who can dive in ASAP.

If anyone else does this,
I-I will literally die.

Okay. All right.
Yes.

And listen, um,
if you want to draft

a couple of friends
to help you out,

that's good, too.
Yeah?

Dear journal,
I speak to you now

not as Sue Sylvester,

world-class coach
and educatrix,

but as Sue Sylvester,
freelance champion.

I've purged myself

of the toxic teen-town
trauma parade

that is McKinley High,

and life could not be better.

I'm making my own hours,

rocking a fresh look,

and getting paid
twice the money

to do what I do best,

dishing out top-tier abuse

to trophy wives
and self-hating single gals

as a personal trainer.

I've arrived.

♪ I'm the same boy
I used to be ♪

♪ Call on me

♪ Call on me

♪ Call on me

♪ Call on me

♪ Call on me

♪ Call on me

♪ Call on me

Let me hear
those childless pelvic pops.

♪ Call on me

♪ Call on me

♪ Call on me

♪ Call on me

♪ Call on me

♪ Call on me Fishy hands.

♪ Call on me.

Fishy hands.

♪ Call on me

♪ Call on me

♪ Call on me

♪ Call on me.

Take it, take it.

Leg up, leg up.

♪ Call on me.

And down.
All right.

That's it.
Uh, no crying

in my classroom.
Go on.

Go home to mommy.

Fact, if I hadn't mistaken you

for a butch Israeli girl,

I would've never
let you in here.

B, the fact that
you survived my boot camp 101,

also known as Sue 90X,
trademark pending,

I will allow you to speak.

Just don't sing.

I'll admit,

I rejoined the Cheerios
with the sole plan

of destroying you
from the inside.

Admirable. But now that
you're gone, I can see

that all the Cheerio girls
are lost without you,

and frankly,
as student council president,

I'm a little worried

about the kind of advice
Coach Roz is giving.

And that is why
you all signed up

with Dr. Fong to get

a couple of those fatty ribs

removed for flexibility.

What?

You know, I always thought

Becky could look like
a young Dolly Parton

with a couple less ribs.

Something went down
at that school,

and it has something
to do with you.

Someway, somehow,

the kids are still shaken up.
No one feels safe.

Set the record straight.

We need you, Coach Sue.

Hey.

I was thinking about what you
said, and you're totally right.

I kind of got inspired

when I was rolling down
the hallway in between classes.

And the sound it made
was almost musical,

and it got me thinking; we don't
have to have electricity

to make music. We don't
even need real instruments.

I didn't say you couldn't
use instruments. I was...

I know, but think about it.
We want to win regionals,

and we're gonna have
to do it as a team.

And imagine how we could get
everybody working together

if we pushed ourselves to
pull off a song with nothing

but a water bottle and
pencils and a zipper,

and who knows what else.
You want unplugged.

This would be unplugged squared.

I like it.

Ladies?

What is the event

the Big Apple's hoi polloi
must be invited to

or they'll pull a Javert

and swan dive off the
Chrysler Building?

The New York City
Ballet Gala, duh.

And guess who gets to attend

if they just volunteer a few short hours?
Anne Hathaway?

It's us, it's us!
Are you serious?

And just when you thought
it couldn't get any gayer,

it does.

Make fun of it all you want,

but the New York City
Ballet Gala,

it's a celebration
of a timeless art.

If it wasn't for ballet,
I wouldn't be here.

It was my gateway
into show business.

My dance teacher told me that
I was a mini Margot Fonteyn.

She taught me the power
of music,

and although that dance studio

was just a tiny,
moldy Lima storefront,

to me, it was the most
beautiful place on earth.

I started ballet

at the ripe old age of three.

My mom enrolled me after
seeing me in front of the TV,

jetéing and debouléeing
to the Blues Clues theme song.

That ballet class was
one of the few places

that just seemed to fit.

And even when I saw
some of the kids

and their parents
laughing at me,

something inside
my little brain said,

"Screw them.

Just go for it, Hummel."

My can-do attitude
was born in that room.

And I skipped all that crap

to study the timeless art
of crunk.

Look, you can tell Isabelle
that I am definitely in.

Not me, count me out.

You mean you don't want
to wear a designer dress

that you get to keep as a gift?

I'm in.

She's in.
She's in.

I know these songs are

supposed to be unplugged,
but I asked Mr. Shue

permission to do
a full orchestration.

Which I gladly agreed to,

because Ryder eloquently told me

that what he wanted to unplug

were his feelings.

I want to really reveal myself
through this song.

And frankly, I think

I kind of need the support
to get there.

I'd like to dedicate this song
to all of us,

and for all the slushees...
real and proverbial...

that we've all taken
to the face over the years.

♪ When your day is long

♪ And the night

♪ The night is yours alone

♪ When you're sure
you've had enough ♪

♪ Of this life

♪ Well, hang on

♪ Don't let yourself go

♪ 'Cause everybody cries

And everybody hurts ♪

♪ Sometimes

♪ Sometimes everything
is wrong ♪

♪ Now it's time to sing along

♪ When your day is night alone

♪ Hold on

♪ When you feel like
letting go ♪

♪ Hold on

♪ If you think
you've had too much ♪

♪ Of this life

♪ Well, hang on

♪ Well, everybody hurts

♪ Sometimes

♪ Everybody cries

♪ Everybody hurts

♪ Sometimes

♪ And everybody hurts

♪ Sometimes

♪ So hold on.

That was amazing, Ryder.

You certainly unplugged

whatever you were looking
to let out.

I didn't want
to just get them out.

I wanted to get
in touch with them

so I could maybe have the balls
to tell you guys something.

Something that's pretty hard

to talk about.

It's cool, bro.
You can let it out.

I've actually only told
one person this.

Not even my parents know.

But...

I'm not sure if I could trust
that person to keep it secret.

So before this gets out,

I want to be the one
to open the box.

When I was 11,
I was molested by my babysitter.

She just walked in on me
in the shower,

and she touched me a bit.

Wait, hold on.
Did you just say "she"?

Like, as in a girl?
Like, a teenage girl?

Yeah, she was, like, 17, 18.

Dude,

you were 11

and some hot 18-year-old
plays with your junk?

I'd have killed for that.

Why are you ashamed of this?

I don't know, I...

It kind of messed me up a bit.

Like, I have trouble
trusting girls

because of it, I think.

Guys, this is not something
to high-five about.

Ryder, I'm sorry,
but I'm obligated to report it.

Whatever,
she already got locked up.

She was caught doing it
to some other kid.

Okay, I'm sorry, but
why-why is that a crime?

I mean, it's every
teenage boy's fantasy.

I mean, there's, like, 50
'80s movies about it.

I mean, My Tutor,

Private Lessons, Gym Class...

We get it, Sam, thanks.

Guys, this is so uncool.

His truth is his truth,
not yours.

You know what,
it's cool, okay?

Uh, the guys are right.

I don't know what
I was thinking.

Uh, I'm, like,
the luckiest guy in here.

So...

You know, yeah.

Good job.
Thanks.

I mean, kid clearly has
superior game.

You know, I was
sort of surprised when

you asked me to dinner,
'cause I know you're, like,

dating Jake's brother
and everything.

Puck and I broke up.

He dumped me when he went off

to live at a college
he doesn't go to.

From a distance,
Puck is super hot,

but you don't really realize
until you're right up close

how puffy he is.

Here you go.

I don't know why I have
such terrible luck

with guys.

It's probably because I come on
really strong

and pretend to be all slutty,

and then I freeze up right away

and get distant
and drop weird hints

that my vagina has teeth.

But I didn't come here

to talk about
the razor-sharp barbs

guarding my cervix.

I noticed how withdrawn you got
this week

in Glee Club after you told
everyone your secret.

It may have seemed
like no one else

in that room understood
what you went through,

but...

I did.

It was, um, my friend
Julie's older brother.

I was in sixth grade.

One night,

Julie had a sleepover,

and in the middle of the night,

he came down into the basement

and crawled
into my sleeping bag.

At first, I thought
it was a joke.

I didn't know
what was happening.

But then he started, um...

to feel me in places.

In the morning,
I went straight home

without saying good-bye,

and I couldn't tell my parents
for a while.

I was afraid

of upsetting them or something.

So when I did tell them,

they were really confused.

They didn't understand
why I waited so long

to say something about it.

My mom called his parents,

and all I could hear her say

was how good of a kid he was
and how she didn't

know how something
like that could happen.

And then Julie
stopped talking to me

and told everyone at school

that I was spreading rumors
about her brother.

Then she told all my friends

to stop talking to me.

Finally,

I just decided it'd just
be easier to switch schools.

So I did.

I understand what it feels like

to have something
like that happen to you

and feel like
nobody understands.

I guess I just wanted you
to know that...

I do.

Thanks.

♪ Buddy, you're a boy,
make a big noise ♪

♪ Playin' in the street,
gonna be a big man someday ♪

♪ You got mud on your face,
you big disgrace ♪

♪ Kickin' your can
all over the place, singin' ♪

♪ We will ♪

♪ We will rock you ♪

♪ We will ♪

♪ We will rock you ♪

♪ Buddy, you're a young man

♪ Hard man,
shouting in the street ♪

♪ Gonna take on
the world someday ♪

♪ You got blood on your face,
you big disgrace ♪

♪ Waving your banner
all over the place ♪

♪ We will ♪

♪ We will rock you ♪

Sing it!

♪ We will ♪

♪ We will rock you ♪

♪ Buddy, you're an old man

♪ Poor man pleading
with your eyes ♪

♪ Gonna make you
some peace someday ♪

♪ You got mud on your face

♪ Big disgrace,
somebody better put you ♪

♪ Back into your place Come on!

♪ We will ♪

♪ We will rock you ♪

Sing it!

♪ We will ♪

♪ We will rock you ♪

♪ Everybody

♪ We will

♪ We will rock you ♪

♪ We will ♪

♪ We will rock you ♪

All right!
♪ Da, da-da, da-da

♪ Da, da, da, da-da,
da-da, da, da, da. ♪

Hi, Coach.

Can I watch it with you?

Jackson, you are out of uniform.

I was thinking of
quitting the team.

I can't stand how
Coach Roz treats me.

Maybe the fact that you grew
from an itty-bitty fetus

into a full-size adult
in less than a calendar year

has made you cocky,
Robin Sylvester,

but around here,
we like our protein shakes

to taste like human food

and not some crazy
peanut butter stem cell sauce

you cooked up on
your Island of Dr. Moreau!

Well, I have always admired
her run-on sentences.

Coach, please come back.

I know you did this
to protect me.

I'm sorry.

I miss you so bad it hurts.

Oh, honey, I miss you, too.

But the fact is,

this is the best thing
that's ever happened to me.

As a trainer,
people take me seriously.

95 years I gave those girls,
and what did it get me?

Certainly not their respect.

Just a sad, lazy grab bag
of quitters, backstabbers,

flip-floppers,
lipstick lesbians

and ungrateful, sloppy,
knocked-up sluts.

And me.

And you.

Becky, I'm sorry,
honey, I've moved on,

and I can't go back
to babysitting brats.

♪ Little girls, little girls

♪ Everywhere I turn

♪ I can see them

♪ Little girls

♪ Little girls, night and day

♪ I eat, sleep
and breathe them ♪

♪ I'm an ordinary woman

♪ With feelings

♪ I like a man
to nibble on my ear ♪

♪ Though I'll admit

♪ No man has bit

♪ So how come

♪ I'm the mother of the year?

♪ Some women are dripping
with diamonds ♪

♪ Some women are
dripping with pearls ♪

♪ Lucky me, lucky me

♪ Look at
what I'm dripping with ♪

♪ Little girls

♪ Someday I'll land
in the nuthouse ♪

♪ With all the nuts
and the squirrels ♪

♪ There I'll stay, tucked away

♪ Till the prohibition of

♪ Little...

♪ Girls...

Becky, you couldn't pay me
to go back to that.

And I don't miss them at all.

Not one bit.

Not at all.

Okay, you're on
Rex Reed duty, Kurt.

Keep him away from the open bar.
Gotcha.

Hey, Santana, how do you feel
about Cherry Jones?

Whatevs.

Miss Isabelle, I'm sorry,

I know that we're
just volunteers here,

but Kurt and I were wondering
if there was any possibility

that we could maybe watch the
performance from the audience.

Absolutely not.

I'm sorry.

You're gonna be watching
from the wings with me.

It's the best seat
in the house.

Santana, you want to join us?

Oh, Santana
doesn't like ballet.

She's only here for the gown
and the swag-bag.

Oh, I don't believe that.

Every little girl,
no matter where she ends up...

starts out wanting to be
a ballerina.

Not Santana.
We've discussed it.

Kurt, can I just show you...

Shut up, Berry.

I actually did take
ballet classes.

My abuela put me in them

when I was little,

because I was such a tomboy

and it really pissed my dad off.

I only took a few
lessons, but...

it helped me, uh,
escape a little, you know?

It was the first time I danced.

I felt safe there, and...
not different.

And part of something...

beautiful.

♪ Daddy always thought
that he married beneath him ♪

♪ That's what he said,
that's what he said ♪

♪ When he proposed,
he informed my mother ♪

♪ It was probably
her very last chance ♪

♪ And though she was 22

♪ Though she was 22

♪ Though she was 22...

♪ She married him

♪ Life with my dad
wasn't ever a picnic ♪

♪ More like a come-as-you-are

♪ When I was five,
I remember my mother ♪

♪ Dug earrings out of the car

♪ I knew that
they weren't hers ♪

♪ But it wasn't something
you want to discuss ♪

♪ He wasn't warm

Well, not to her.

Well, not to us.

♪ But everything was beautiful

♪ At the ballet

♪ Graceful men
lift lovely girls in white ♪

♪ Yes, everything
was beautiful ♪

♪ At the ballet...

♪ I was happy

♪ At the ballet

That's when
I started ballet class.

♪ Up a steep
and very narrow stairway ♪

♪ To the voice
like a metronome ♪

♪ Up a steep
and very narrow stairway ♪

♪ It wasn't paradise

♪ It wasn't paradise

♪ It wasn't paradise

♪ But it was home

♪ Mother always said
I'd be very attractive ♪

♪ When I grew up,
when I grew up ♪

♪ Different, she said,
with a special something ♪

♪ And a very,
very personal flair ♪

♪ And though
I was eight or nine ♪

♪ Though I was eight or nine

♪ Though I was eight or nine ♪

♪ I hated her

♪ Now, different is nice,
but it sure isn't pretty ♪

♪ Pretty is what it's about

♪ I never met anyone
who was different ♪

♪ Who couldn't figure that out

♪ So beautiful

♪ I'd never live to see

♪ But it was clear

If not to her...
well, then to me.

♪ That everyone is beautiful

♪ At the ballet

♪ Every prince has got to have

♪ His swan

♪ Yes, everyone is beautiful

♪ At the ballet

♪ Hey...

♪ I was pretty

♪ At the ballet

I was born
to save their marriage.

But... when my father
came to pick my mother up

at the hospital, he said,

"Well, I thought this was
gonna help, but I guess not."

A few months later, he left.

And he never came back.

Anyway,

I had this
fantastic fantasy life.

I used to dance
around the living room

with my arms up like this.

And in my fantasy,
there was an Indian chief,

and he would say to me,

"Izzy, do you
want to dance?"

And I would say, "Daddy",

I would love to dance."

♪ Do, do-do, do... ♪

♪ But it was clear

♪ When he proposed

♪ That I was born

♪ To help their marriage
and when... ♪

♪ That's what she said

♪ That's what he said

♪ I used to dance around ♪

♪ The living room

♪ Do-do-do-do... ♪
♪ He wasn't warm

♪ Not to her

♪ It was an Indian
chief, and he'd say ♪

♪ "Izzy, do you want
to dance?" ♪

♪ And I'd say,
"Daddy, I would love to" ♪

♪ Everything was beautiful

♪ At the ballet

♪ Raise your arms

♪ And someone's always there

♪ Yes, everything
was beautiful ♪

♪ At the ballet

♪ The ballet

♪ The ballet...

♪ Yes, everything
was beautiful ♪

♪ At the ballet

♪ Hey

♪ I was pretty

♪ I was happy

♪ I would love to

♪ At the ballet.

Sorry.

Listen, I really love dancing.

I just am not like you guys.

I don't know what I want to do
or how I'm even gonna get there.

But you have plenty of time
to figure it out.

And... it doesn't have to be
ballet or Broadway,

just as long as
it's something that you love,

something that feeds your soul.

And, Santana,
baby steps are okay.

Sue's adult baby is being
a belligerent pain in my booty,

and I am not
gonna take it anymore!

First she started making fart
noises every time I bent over.

Then she started
making fart noises

every time I blinked.

Ain't nobody fart every time
they blink... that's crazy!

Then Robin Sylvester

called me "Coach Chocolate Pie."

I marched her

down here so you can

decide what to do with her.

It's your problem!

Becky Jackson,

you can't insult

the sultry and mysterious
Coach Roz Washington.

She is

an African-American treasure.

I only misbehaved so she'd
send me here to talk to you.

Why didn't you just
come here yourself?

I didn't think of that.

Principal Figgins,
I need to tell you something.

Citizens of McKinley,

the power has been restored.

Congratulations to all of us

for refusing to resort
to idol worship

and rampant cannibalism.

We have discovered
that the blackout occurred

when a Mylar balloon

congratulating
my secretary Donna

on her successful hysterectomy

became trapped in an outlet

behind her file cabinet.

McKinley Titans,
it is a new dawn.

Let us welcome a new era
of peace and prosperity.

Yours truly, Principal Figgins.

Okay, let's flip some switches

and rock out, please.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on, guys.

Don't plug back in just yet.

There's one more thing

this power outage
can really drive home for us:

The power

of singing a capella.

I hate whistling.

Nothing but our voices
for this next number.

No other instruments
or bottles or tools or anything.

At the end of the day,
our voices

are the only instruments
that truly matter.

So make it count.

Hey, son of Frankenteen.
I just started the Subway diet,

and it's time for my second
five-dollar foot-long.

Want to buy it for me?

Um...

I'm kidding.

Come on, I'll buy you a sub.

I have, like, 20 more
humiliating stories to tell you.

That sounds awesome,
but... I can't.

Kind of have a date.

With who?

Katie.
The catfish?

How can you pick an online
fantasy over an actual fantasy?

She's not a fantasy.
She's a projection.

She's whatever
you want her to be.

Why do you think
you get along so well?

You have no real intimacy
with this person.

Stop embarrassing yourself
and come have lunch with me.

Look, I get that
this seems a little kooky,

and part of me
really wants to go

with you right now,
but I'm sorry.

I don't warm to people
easily, and...

I was really starting
to like you.

Maybe after I find out
who Katie is

and we straighten all this out,
we could go out then.

I don't think so.

I hope that...

You're late.

I like to make an entrance.

And if
we're really gonna talk

about late, can you say
something to Gramps right here?

Sit.

Excuse me.

This is NYADA Extension.

You sign up,
you pay, you get in.

Anyone.

And what I was going to say was

that I hope none of you
came here expecting

that it would help you
get into NYADA as a student.

Good. 'Cause the last thing
I want to do

is pay 30 grand a year to get
a degree for doing something

that I'm already
freakin' Wonder Woman at.

Then what are you doing here?

I love to dance.

I'm an artist, but...

I sort of lost touch
with that part of myself lately,

and so I'm here to...
do some reintroducing.

I can dig that.

Everybody up.

To the bar. Pliés, please.

Two demi, one grand,
port de bras forward.

Don't forget me again, okay?

I won't.

I promise.

I've got you now.

♪ Bum, bum, bum

♪ Whoa, oh, oh, oh

♪ The longest ♪
♪ For the longest time

♪ Time ♪
♪ Whoa, oh, oh ♪

♪ The longest ♪
♪ For the longest

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh... ♪
♪ If you said

♪ Good-bye to me tonight

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh... ♪
♪ There would

♪ Still be music left to write

♪ Ah, ah, ah ♪

♪ What else could I do?

♪ I'm so inspired by you

♪ I haven't been there

♪ For the longest time

♪ Whoa, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ The longest ♪
♪ For the longest time

♪ Time ♪
♪ Whoa, oh, oh ♪

♪ The longest ♪
♪ For the longest

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh... ♪
♪ I'm that voice

♪ You're hearing in the hall

♪ Ah, ooh, ooh, ooh... ♪

♪ And the greatest

♪ Miracle of all

♪ Ah, ah, ah ♪

♪ Is how I need you

♪ And how you needed me, too

♪ That hasn't happened
for the longest time ♪

♪ Ba-ba-bum, wa-ooh... ♪
♪ Maybe this won't

♪ Last very long

♪ But you feel so right

♪ And I could be wrong

♪ Maybe I've been

♪ Hoping too hard

♪ But I've gone this far

♪ And it's more
than I hoped for ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh... ♪
♪ Who knows how

♪ Much further we'll go on

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh... ♪
♪ Maybe I'll be

♪ Sorry when you're gone

♪ Ah, ah, ah ♪

♪ I want you so bad

♪ I think you ought
to know that ♪

♪ I intend to hold you
for the longest time ♪

♪ Whoa, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ The longest ♪

♪ For the longest time

♪ Whoa, oh, oh

♪ The longest ♪

♪ For the longest time

♪ Whoa, oh, oh
♪ The longest time ♪

♪ The longest ♪

♪ For the longest time ♪

♪ Whoa, oh, oh

♪ The longest ♪

♪ For the longest time.

Nice.