Glee (2009–2015): Season 2, Episode 3 - Grilled Cheesus - full transcript

Finn has an existential crisis when he believes he sees the face of Jesus in his grilled cheese sandwich. Meanwhile, the rest of the kids rally around Kurt after he has a crisis of his own that leads to a larger discussion among the group about their own theology.

So here's what
you missed on Glee:

Artie made the football team,
which is crazy,

and Finn's not the quarterback
anymore, this new kid Sam is.

Can you believe it?
Kurt's dad

and Finn's mom are dating,
and are really happy together,

which makes Finn and Kurt
sort of like brothers.

They sure yell at each other
like brothers.

Why is it so hard
for you to understand?

Sue has a sister, Jean,
who she doesn't yell at at all.

I will always love you.

Which sort of makes her the
only person Sue doesn't yell at.

And that's what you missed on Glee.

It all started a week ago.

I was super hungry,
but my mom was gone,

so I busted out
the George Foreman.

It wasn't making the cool
grill marks it used to after

I tried to use it
to dry my shoes,

but when it comes
to grilled cheese,

I'm not that fancy.

And when I pulled
the sandwich out,

I saw the face of God.


I had made a Grilled Cheesus.

I'm so hungry.
I'm not the most religious guy.

I sort of worship Eric Clapton
and Ochocinco,

but this was different, so,

I decided to see what it felt
like to, you know, pray.

Dear Grilled Cheesus...

First of all,
you're super delicious.

Please, Grilled Cheesus,

please let us win
our first football game.

It would mean so much to Artie,

and I think you kind of
owe it to him.

I mean, you did sort of
screw him in the leg department.

And in return, Cheesy Lord,

I'll make sure we honor you
this week in Glee Club.

Thank you, Grilled Cheesus.

- Hey, Dad.
- Hey, that's my boy.

You forgot your breakfast.

Suzanne Somers says that
skipping breakfast is suicide.

What is this?

It's an egg white wrap
on a sprouted wheat tortilla,

half a grapefruit
and a green drink.

Where's my usual breakfast?

A Coke and two Slim Jims?

Yeah. Breakfast of champions.

Dad, you are not a kid anymore.

You have to start
taking care of yourself.

Well, I guess with
enough hot sauce,

this will be all right.

Hey, don't forget,
Friday night dinner is 6:00

instead of 7:00 this week.

Carole and Finn are coming over,

and she has to work
the night shift.

I... I can't do this Friday.

It's Sing-along Sound of Music
at the El Royale Theater.

It's a once-a-year event.

And last week,
you had to camp out early

so you could be first in line
for those Grey's Anatomy DVDs.

Season six, Dad.

Okay, those Friday night
dinners are a ritual

in our family...
One your mom started.

I know, but I'm a teenager.

Friday nights
are kind of important to me.

Why are you making me
feel guilty about this?

I, of all people,
know how important

the relationship is
between you and Carole.

Those dinners are more
than important.

They're sacred.
Okay, the whole point

of having something sacred is
that it takes precedence

over anything else
you got going on.

Sing-along Sound of Music
is sacred to me.

What? You think
I don't know that?

Okay, wasn't I the one
who bought you

that Maria bonnet
when you were six?

Okay, the point is,

if you start giving up stuff
like Friday night dinners,

then you got nothing
to hold onto.

Okay, let's face it, Kurt.

If we don't schedule it,
then we don't hang out.

If we don't hang out,
then our lives...

They just go right by
each other.

And we don't share very much.

I'm sorry, but I'm not missing
something that I look forward to

all year just for
another dinner.

Maybe we could do it
Thursday or something.

I got to tell you, Kurt.

I'm real disappointed in you.

Mr. Shue?

I have something to say.

Something happened to me,

and I can't really get into it,
but it's shaken me to my core.

Oh, my God, he's coming out.

Why, yes,

there is a man who's sort of
recently come into my life, and

that man is Jesus Christ.

That's way worse.

And I know there's others
in here who dig him, too.

And so I thought,
maybe this week,

we could pay tribute
to him in music.

You know,
pay tribute to Jesus.

Sorry, uh,
but if I wanted to sing

about Jesus, I'd go to church.

And the reason I don't go
to church is because

most churches don't think
very much of gay people.

Or women.
Or science.

I don't see anything wrong
with getting a little church

- up in here.
- I agree.

I've had a really hard year,

and I turned to God
a lot for help.

I, for one, wouldn't mind
saying thanks.

Thanks for what? That it
didn't come out a lizard baby?

Whenever I pray, I fall asleep.

Well, guys,
maybe our song selections

don't have to be about Jesus.

We could do songs
about spirituality.

You got a problem with Jesus?

Oh, I got no problem
with the guy.

I'm a total Jew for Jesus.

He's my number one Heb.

What I don't like seeing
is people using J-money

to cramp everybody
else's style, 'cause it seems

to me that true spirituality
or whatever you want to call it

is about enjoying the life
that you've been given.

I mean, I see God every time
I make out with a new chick.

Okay, okay,
that doesn't make

any sense.
In fact, it's stupid.

Are you calling
Mr. Billy Joel stupid?

At this time, I'd like
to continue my streak

of doing only songs
by Jewish artists.

Hit it.

♪ Come out, Virginia,
don't let me wait. ♪

♪ You Catholic girls
start much too late. ♪

♪ Oh, but sooner or later,
it comes down to fate. ♪

♪ I might as well be the one. ♪

♪ Well, they showed you
a statue, told you to pray. ♪

♪ They built you a temple
and locked you away. ♪

♪ Oh, but they never told you
the price that you'd pay ♪

♪ for things
that you might have done. ♪

♪ Only the good die young! ♪

♪ Whoa-oh, whoa-oh, whoa,
whoa, oh... ♪

♪ You got a nice white dress and
a party on your confirmation. ♪

♪ You got a brand-new soul. ♪

♪ Mmm, and a cross of gold. ♪

♪ Come out, come out,
come out... ♪

♪ Virginia, don't let me wait. ♪

♪ You Catholic girls
start much too late. ♪

♪ But sooner or later,
it comes down to fate. ♪

♪ I might as well
be the one. ♪

♪ You know that
only the good die young. ♪

♪ Tell ya, baby. ♪


Well, according to this,
I've still got two left,

but let me check,
'cause I don't trust the guy

who does my inventory.

- Who's that?
- Me.

Oh. Oh, geez.



Hey, you okay, man?

Yeah, just a little
indigestion, you know.

Don't buy salami at the gas station.


Can we talk to you outside?

Where is he?

Is he dead?

No, he's alive, but I'm sorry

I don't have
any other good news.

- I want to see him.
- He hasn't regained consciousness.

I thought he had a heart attack.

Brought on by an arrhythmia,

which caused a lack
of blood to his brain.

That's what made him
lose consciousness

and what's keeping him comatose.

We have him on lidocaine,

but there's no guarantees
they're going to work

or what kind of damage was done

to his brain
by the lack of oxygen.

I don't understand
what you're saying.

When is he going
to wake up?

I don't know.

Okay, just... Just...
Just take us to him now, please.

I need a minute.

I don't think you
should be alone, Kurt.

Please just give me a moment
alone with my father.

We'll be right outside.


Can you hear me?

If you can hear me,
squeeze my hand.

I'm holding yours right now.

Just squeeze back.

Come on, Dad.

Just squeeze my hand.

What up, Grilled Cheesus?

I need to ask you
for something.

I didn't go to Sunday school
so I don't know

if God works the same as a genie
and I only get three wishes,

but here's the thing.

Dating Rachel is great,

but she's kind of a prude,
and I'm sort of going crazy.

Anyway, her boobs
aren't that great,

but they're still girl boobs,

and I'd really like
to touch them.

So, Cheesus,

that I've dedicated a week

of my musical life to you,

I hope you can see it
in your heart

to answer my prayers.


Hey, Kurt.

We're really sorry
about your dad's heart attack.

Thanks, Santana.

I did a book report
on heart attacks,

if you want to give it
to the doctor.

I got knocked down
an entire letter grade

'cause it was written
in crayon.

What the hell happened?

- My dad's in the hospital.
- I know.

My mom just called me.
I feel like I'm the last one to know!

Well, I'm sorry, Finn.
It didn't occur to me

to call you, because
he's not your father.

Yeah, well, he's the closest
I'm ever going to get, okay?

I know it may not look like
what everybody else has,

but I thought we were...
sort of a family.

Look, I... I guess I just...

I didn't like overhearing

other people talking about it
in gym class.

Hey, guys.

Our thoughts are all
with Kurt, and, uh,

I know it's sort of hard to
really focus on anything else...

Mr. Shue.

I've been struggling, trying

to figure out what I wanted
to say to Kurt all day,

and I realized I don't want to
say it, I want to sing it.

This song is about
being in a very dark place,

and turning to God.

It's a spiritual song,
Mr. Shue.

- Is that okay?
- It's fine.

Tina, Quinn, can you
help me out, please?

♪ As I lay me down, ♪

♪ Heaven, hear me now. ♪

♪ I'm lost without a cause ♪

♪ after giving it my all. ♪

♪ Winter storms have come ♪

♪ and darkened my sun. ♪

♪ After all that
I've been through, ♪

♪ who on earth can I turn to? ♪

♪ I look to you. ♪

♪ I look to you. ♪

♪ After all
my strength is gone, ♪

♪ in you I can be strong. ♪

♪ I look to you. ♪

♪ I look to you, oh... ♪

♪ And when melodies are gone... ♪

♪ Yeah... ♪
♪ Melodies are gone... ♪

♪ in you I hear a song. ♪

♪ I look to you... ♪

♪ Ooh... ♪

♪ I look ♪

♪ to you... ♪

Thank you, Mercedes.

Your voice is stunning, but...

I don't believe in God.

Wait, what?

You've all professed
your beliefs.

I'm just stating mine.

I think God is kind of like
Santa Claus for adults.

Otherwise, God's kind of a jerk,
isn't he?

I mean, he makes me gay and then
has his followers going around

telling me it's
something that I chose.

As if someone would
choose to be mocked

every single day of their life.

And right now
I don't want a heavenly father.

I want my real one back.

But Kurt, how
do you know for sure?

I mean, you can't prove
that there's no God.

You can't prove that there
isn't a magic teapot

floating around
on the dark side of the moon

with a dwarf inside of it

that reads romance novels
and shoots lightning

out of its boobs, but it seems
pretty unlikely, doesn't it?

Is God an evil dwarf?

We shouldn't be
talking like this.

It's not right.

I'm sorry, Quinn.

But you all can believe
whatever you want to.

But I can't believe
something I don't.

I appreciate your thoughts...

But I don't want your prayers.

How did you even
find out about the lesson?

I have cameras
everywhere, William.

I'm giving a lesson on spirituality.

I don't understand
what the big deal is.

Well, the big deal is
that this is a public school,

and there's this little thing

called separation
of church and state,

which happens to be the pillar
of a functioning civil society.

But Sue,
children should be

allowed to profess
whatever faith they choose.

At the BET Awards,
but not in a public school.

Sue, I'm trying
to help these kids.

Kurt is struggling with
some really tough issues.

Well, William, if your kids want
to praise Jesus in class,

I suggest they enroll at Sweet
Holy Mother of God Academy

on I Love Jesus Street,

but not here.

This country is
not a monarchy, William.

Trust me, I've tried.

And as much as I enjoy
giving impromptu civics lessons,

I got work to do.

Finn, please... sit.

You're upset about
Kurt's dad, too?


But more importantly,
let's discuss

your newfound love for Jesus
and how it's affecting me.

I want this relationship
to go the distance,

but I need to know that
when I'm 25 and I've won

a bunch of Tonys,
and I'm ready

to have intercourse and babies,
that those babies will

- be raised in a certain way.
- You don't think

you're gonna have sex
till you're 25?

I want my children to be raised
in the Jewish faith.

Both of my dads' peoples
were slaves once.

I need to know that my children
will be free to worship

in the way that
I decide is right.

Of course.

Yeah, they should totally
go to Jew church and...

And wear those hats and...

And eat that salty orange
stuff with their bagels.

Let's lay down on the bed.



I'd like to give you something

in exchange
for what you gave me.

Thank you, Grilled Cheesus.

I need to know what's going on
with that Glee Club.

Brittany, Jugs the Clown, go.

Mostly just everyone's
really sad

for Kurt, and no one
really knows how to help.

I made him a card
that said "Heart attacks

are just from
loving too much."

- Schuester's still pushing the Lil' Jeezy?
- I guess so.

Although I don't really see
what the big deal is.

But Kurt's
definitely not into it.

How's your father?

They say his condition
is critical but stable.

Good news, I guess.

I'm sorry for what you're
going through, Lady.

I wouldn't wish it
on my worst enemy.

And I guess I don't have to...
I think Mary Lou Retton's,

like, an orphan or something.

I don't like what Schuester's
doing in that classroom

even more than usual.

But I can't go
to the school board

without an official complaint
from a student.

So you want me
to be your scapegoat?


You don't understand.

I know at times I mess around
with you guys for fun.

I admit it...
It aids digestion.

But I'm not joking here.

I want to be your champion.

What is wrong with you?

I'm sorry, Madame Secretary,

I'm gonna have to call you back.

Love to Bill.

There is a boy in that Glee Club
that might lose his father.

How could you get in the way
when the only thing

anybody is trying to do
is give that poor child

just a little bit of comfort?

What happened to you, Sue?

Please tell me
what horrible, horrible thing

happened to you that made you
such a miserable tyrant?

Have a seat.

Since I was a little girl,
I've had exactly one hero.

My big sister.

You know how much
I worshipped her?

She was the sun
and the moon to me.

And while I was
still very young,

I noticed that other people
didn't feel the way I did.

People were rude to her.

They were cruel.

They laughed at her.

And so I began to pray.

I prayed every night
for her to get better.

And nothing changed.

So I prayed harder.

And after a while I realized it wasn't
that I wasn't praying hard enough...

It's that no one was listening.

Asking someone to believe
in a fantasy...

however comforting,
isn't a moral thing to do.

It's cruel.

Don't you think that's
just a little bit arrogant?

It's as arrogant as telling
someone how to believe in God,

and if they don't accept it,
no matter how open-hearted

or honest their dissent,
they're going to hell.

Well, that doesn't sound
very Christian, does it?

Well, if that's what
you believe, that's fine.

But please keep it to yourself.

So long as you do the same.

That kid could lose
his father at any moment.

You should start
preparing him for that.

Now get the hell
out of my office.

I realize you're only
half orangutan,

but I'm still very allergic
to your lustrous ginger mane.

Last week we were too sexy,
this week we're too religious...

- We can't win.
- Now I know what Miley feels like.

The real tragedy here
is that I found

the most perfect spiritual song
to sing this week,

and now it's been torn away
from me like Sophie's daughter.

Guys, you can still sing
whatever songs you like

that sum up your feelings
about God, about spirit.

You just can't do
it on school time.

I hope you're happy, Kurt.

Having the week of
my life, actually.

Back off Kurt, okay?

He had every right
to speak his mind.

Look, Kurt, we're sympathetic
to what you're going through,

but siding with Miss Sylvester
isn't gonna do anyone any good.

It's doing me
some good.

Now I don't have
to sit around

listening to all
you mental patients

talk about how's there's a God
when I know there isn't one.

Cheesus, I don't need
to tell you how much you rule.

You've given me everything
I've prayed for,

and it turns out Rachel's boobs
are really awesome.

Anyway, I need another favor,
so, Cheesus...

I pray that I'm
made quarterback again.

Sam's a good dude...
I just think that I can deliver

your message to the world
more powerfully

if I'm the most popular guy
in the school again.

What are you doing?


So I pray before I eat now...
What's the big deal?

You're not gonna tell anybody
about this, are you?

It's cool.

To tell you the truth,

I actually went to temple
with my Nana yesterday.

I know it makes me a wuss,
but I'm bummed about Kurt's dad.

I've kind of been
praying for him.

I know how hard it is

not to have a
father, you know?

What do you pray for?

Same stuff.

You burned your grilled cheese.

- Why are we in the park?
- 'Cause I don't

want anything coming
between us and God.

And because Yentl
was outside when

she sang this
song in the movie.

I just hope that God hears this song
as a prayer for Burt Hummel

and decides to bring
him back to us.

♪ God... ♪

Our Heavenly Father.

♪ Oh, God... ♪

And my father,
who is also in Heaven.

♪ May the light... ♪

Of this flickering candle...

♪ Illuminate the night ♪

♪ the way your spirit
illuminates ♪

♪ my soul... ♪

♪ Papa, ♪

♪ can you hear me? ♪

♪ Papa, ♪

♪ can you see me? ♪

♪ Papa, can you hear me ♪

♪ in the night? ♪

♪ Papa, are you near me? ♪

♪ Papa, can you hear me? ♪

♪ Papa, can you help me
not be frightened? ♪

♪ Looking at the skies,
I seem to see a million eyes. ♪

♪ Which ones are yours? ♪

♪ Where are you now that
yesterday has come and gone ♪

♪ and closed its doors? ♪

♪ The night is so much darker, ♪

♪ The wind is so much colder, ♪

♪ The world I see is
so much bigger, ♪

♪ now that I'm alone ♪

♪ Papa, please forgive me,
try to understand me. ♪

♪ Papa, don't you know
I had no choice? ♪

♪ Can you hear me praying,
anything I'm saying? ♪

♪ Even though the night ♪

♪ is filled with voices, ♪

♪ I remember everything
you taught me, ♪

♪ every book I've ever read... ♪

♪ Can all the words
in all the books ♪

♪ help me to face
what lies ahead? ♪

♪ The trees are so much taller ♪

♪ and I feel so much smaller. ♪

♪ The moon is twice as lonely ♪

♪ and the stars are ♪

♪ half as bright. ♪

♪ Papa, how I Iove you. ♪

♪ Papa, how I need you. ♪

♪ Papa, how I miss you ♪

♪ kissing me ♪

♪ good night... ♪

Who's next?

What's going on in here?

We... We were just
praying for your dad.

Rachel, Quinn,
and I are taking turns.

We're from different
denominations and religions,

so we figured one of us
is bound to be right.

I didn't ask you to do this.

Honey, I know you're upset about
what's happening, I get it,

but friends help out,
even when you don't ask.

Mr. Kurt Hummel?

Dude, why didn't you just tell
us you wanted to pray in Muslim?

I'm not Muslim, I'm a Sikh.

She's going to see
if acupuncture will improve

the circulation
to my dad's brain.

Amazingly, needles pierce
the skin better than psalms.

Can you all please leave now?

We just wanted
to do something.

Red 42 on three.



That cornerback's been cheating
right all night.

We should naked bootleg left.

That ogre linebacker's
on the left.

He's been killing me all game.

Dude, trust me, I'm the only guy

who's ever actually won
a game on this field.

Okay, naked bootleg left,
I keep on three.

- All right, you ready?
- Break.

That's not what I called.

Yah! Hike!

- Is he okay?
- His shoulder's dislocated.

This is what happens

when you change my plays
in the huddle.

I don't understand,
that guy came out of nowhere.

I know, that kid's been
cheating right all night.

No reason for
him to be there.

It's just bad luck.

- We need to get him to the E.R.
- Okay, let's go.

It's in your
hands now, Lurch.

you're the quarterback again.

I know things have been
pretty morose

around here this past week,

but I want to celebrate
some good news

for our little family.

Let's hear it for Finn
on getting back

his quarterback job

and leading the Titans to a win

in their second game
of the season.

Yeah, too bad that Sam kid
had to have his arm

basically ripped off for it
to happen, but it's good

to have you back
in the saddle, brother.

- Mr. Shue, if I may?
- Yeah.

Um, I wanted to thank everyone
for your kind e-mails

and queries
about my dad,

but for your information,
his condition remains the same.

I need to express myself,
so with your permission,

Mr. Shue, I've prepared
a number for the occasion.

Of course, Kurt.

On the day of my mom's funeral,

when they were lowering her body
into the ground, I was crying.

I mean, that was it.

It was the last time
I was ever going to see her,

and I remember
I looked up at my dad

and I... I just wanted him
to say something,

just something to make me feel
like my whole world wasn't over,

and he just took my hand
and squeezed it.

And just knowing
that those hands were there

to take care of me...
That was enough.

This is for my dad.

♪ Yeah, I'll ♪

♪ tell you something. ♪

♪ I think you'll understand ♪

♪ when I say that something. ♪

♪ I want to hold your hand. ♪

♪ I want to hold your hand. ♪

♪ I want to hold your hand. ♪

♪ Oh, please, say to me ♪

♪ you'll let me be your man. ♪

♪ And please say to me ♪

♪ you'll let me hold your hand. ♪

♪ Now let me hold your hand. ♪

♪ I want to hold your hand. ♪

♪ And when I touch you ♪

♪ I feel happy inside. ♪

♪ It's such a feeling that my love ♪

♪ I can't hide. ♪

♪ I can't hide. ♪

♪ I can't hide... ♪

♪ Yeah, you got that something. ♪

♪ I want to hold your hand. ♪

♪ I want to hold your hand. ♪

♪ I want to hold your hand. ♪

♪ I want to hold your hand. ♪

Kurt, can I talk
to you for a second?

I know you're going through a
really scary time right now,

but I feel like I don't know
how to be around you anymore,

and I know you're not really
spiritual or whatever,

but I feel like you're
closing yourself to a world

of experiences that
might surprise you.

You're right.

I'm sorry.

I shouldn't be pushing
my friends away,

especially friends
as fabulous as you.

Do me a favor...
One thing.

Come to church with
me this Sunday.

Our church does
this thing

where we dedicate the
service to someone,

and I got them to dedicate
this Sunday to your dad.

- I don't know.
- You get to wear a fabulous hat.

Mercedes, you had me
at "fabulous hat."

Come on, let's go to class.

I have to confess something.

I'm the reason Sam got hurt.

I asked for three
things to happen:

One, for us to win our
first football game,

two, to get to second base
with Rachel, and three,

to be the quarterback on
the football team again.

All those three things happened
because I prayed for them

to Grilled Cheesus.


- Where to start?
- No, no, I know it sounds crazy, but it isn't.

Jesus appeared to
me on a sandwich

and it has special powers,
I'm telling you,

but I didn't mean for
anybody to get hurt.

Okay, let's just...
Let's take a second.


Look, first, you won
the football game

because you actually
have a coach

who spends the game
watching the plays

rather than biting
his toenails.

And God didn't let you
touch Rachel's boobs.

Rachel did.

Just the sides of them,
but wait, why would she do that?

Well, what were you doing right
before you were touching them?

- What?
- I remember yawning.

Right, 'cause we were talking
about emotional stuff.

Oh, yes, well,
there you go, that's it.

Girls like that.

She felt close to you,
thus the inappropriate touching.

Uh, more importantly,
you didn't hurt Sam.

It was a 300-pound left tackle
who just got expelled

because he's on steroids
and he's 23.

God works in all kinds
of mysterious ways,

but I'm pretty sure
he doesn't spend a lot of time

trying to speak to us
through sandwiches.

You look disappointed.

I am.

It was sort of cool

feeling like I had this
direct line to God.

Now I just feel like
everybody else,

you know, like we're all just
floating around in space.

I don't like that.

You're not alone.

The big questions are
really big for a reason...

They're hard.

But you know what?

Absolutely everybody
struggles with them.

♪ Oh... ♪

♪ Life is bigger. ♪

♪ It's bigger than you
and you are not me. ♪

♪ The lengths
that I will go to. ♪

♪ The distance in your eyes. ♪

♪ I've said enough. ♪

♪ That's me in the corner. ♪

♪ That's me in the spotlight ♪

♪ losing my religion. ♪

♪ Trying to keep up with you ♪

♪ and I don't know
if I can do it. ♪

♪ Oh, no, I've said too much. ♪

♪ I haven't said enough. ♪

♪ I thought
that I heard you laughing. ♪

♪ I thought
that I heard you sing. ♪

♪ I think I thought I saw you try. ♪

♪ But that was just a dream. ♪

♪ Just a dream,
just a dream. ♪

♪ Dream. ♪

I thought we couldn't
sing songs about religion.

we can't sing about faith,

but we can sing
about losing faith?

That's sort of what I
want to talk about today.

Well, earlier in the week, Finn,

it seemed like
you felt differently.

Well, I used to think God was
up there looking over me.

Now, I'm not so sure.

I'm very impressed
with everyone's Sunday best.

It's so Christ-chic.

I hope our genuflection
to the great

Spaghetti Monster in the sky
don't take too long.

My Sikh is coming
again today at 2:00

to do more acupuncture
on my dad.

Is it working?

Not yet.

Nothing is.

I have to go be
with my choir.

Wait, don't, don't...

Hi, church.


I have a favor
to ask you guys.

My friend Kurt Hummel's dad is
in the hospital.

And it's pretty bad.

And I know we have all of
our own worries and troubles,

but if we could just
put them aside

and focus all of our prayers
and give them to Burt Hummel,

and to my friend Kurt.

I know you don't believe in God,
and you don't believe

in the power of prayer,
and that's okay.

To each his own.

But you've got to believe
in something.

Something more than you can
touch, taste or see.

'Cause life is too hard
to go through it alone,

without something to hold onto

and without something
that's sacred.

Anyway, Kurt,
this song is for you.

♪ Don't trouble the water. ♪

♪ Give it up, why don't you? ♪

♪ Whoa, whoa, yeah... ♪
♪ Whoa, yeah... ♪

♪ When you're down and out, ♪

♪ when you're in the street, ♪

♪ when evenin' falls so hard, ♪

♪ I will comfort you. ♪

♪ I'll take your part. ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh... ♪

♪ Yeah... ♪

♪ Oh, when darkness comes... ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh... ♪

♪ And there's no one, ♪

♪ no one you love around, ♪

♪ just like a bridge
over troubled waters, ♪

♪ I will lay me down. ♪

♪ Like a bridge... ♪

♪ Like a bridge ♪

♪ over troubled water, ♪
♪ over troubled water... ♪

♪ I will lay me down. ♪

♪ Don't trouble the water. ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah... ♪

♪ Give it up. ♪

♪ Give it up, yeah... ♪
♪ Why don't you let it be? ♪

♪ Let it, let it, let it, let it... ♪

♪ Let it, let it, let it be, yeah... ♪
♪ Still waters run deep, ♪

♪ Hey, hey... ♪
♪ yes, they do. ♪

♪ Oh, yeah, yeah... ♪
♪ Oh, yeah... ♪

♪ Don't trouble the water. ♪
♪ Trouble... ♪

♪ I'll be there
when you need a friend. ♪

♪ To lay me down. ♪
♪ Why don't you, why don't you let it be? ♪

♪ I'll be your bridge
over troubled water. ♪

♪ Hey, hey, yeah. ♪
♪ Still waters run deep, ♪

♪ yes, they do. ♪

♪ Yes, they do. ♪
♪ Don't trouble the water. ♪

♪ Trouble the water. ♪
♪ Water... ♪

- No. This one, baby.
- Oh, this one.


Boom. Boom. I won!

- Oh!
- Sue, you're letting me win.

No, I swear it. I'm not!

You're letting me win, Sue.

You're letting me win.

Do you believe in God, Jeannie?

Do you?

No, I don't.

Why not?

when we were little girls,

you were perfect in my eyes...

And I watched the world
be cruel to you, so...

God never makes mistakes.

That's what I believe.

You want me
to pray for you, Sue?

Yeah. That would be nice.

I win.

I cheated.
I can't do that.

You never could
dress yourself.

Mercedes took me to
church on Sunday.

It's funny, but when
the choir was singing,

this memory flashed
into my head.

Do you remember our first Friday
night dinner after Mom died?

You tried to
make a chicken.

I guess you
wanted me to feel

like there was
something still normal.

You put it on the table,

and you cut into it,
and it was raw.

And we both looked at
each other for a second,

and cracked up
before we remembered

that we weren't
supposed to yet.

I'm sorry about the
other day, Dad.

I should have let those
guys pray for you.

It wasn't about me.

It was about you, and...
It was nice.

I don't believe in God, Dad.

But I believe in you.

And I believe in us.

You and me...

That's what's sacred to me.

And I am...

I'm so sorry that I never
got to tell you that.


Nurse Nancy!

Dad, I'm right here.

I'm not going anywhere.

♪ If God had a name
what it would it be? ♪

♪ And would you call it
to His face ♪

♪ if you were faced with Him
in all His glory? ♪

♪ What would you ask
if you had just one question? ♪

♪ And yeah, yeah,
God is great. ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, ♪

♪ God is good. ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah... ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah... ♪

♪ What if God was one of us? ♪

♪ One of us? ♪

♪ Was one of us? ♪

♪ Oh, just a slob
like one of us? ♪

♪ Just a slob like one of us? ♪

♪ Just a stranger on the bus ♪

♪ trying to make His way home? ♪

♪ Trying to make His way home? ♪

♪ Just trying to make
His way home. ♪

♪ Trying to find His way home. ♪

♪ Just trying
to make His way home... ♪

The kids really wanted to do
this song, Sue, so I let 'em.

You gonna get me fired?

Report me?