Girls5eva (2021–…): Season 2, Episode 3 - Episode #2.3 - full transcript
Hey, what's up, Instagram Live?
- All: Hi!
- [cheers]
It's Girls5eva, and we're here
with a surprise first
look at us in the stude!
Here's one we've
been working on.
It's an ode to the
largest city in America
that doesn't have a
hit song about it!
We saw a hole in
the marketplace.
♪ East Exchange Avenue ♪
♪ Steers in my rearview ♪
♪ Gonna hit what
"USA Today" calls ♪
♪ "The second-best zoo" ♪
all: ♪ 'Cause Cowtown
is a wow town ♪
♪ With a walkable downtown ♪
♪ It's time to tap
into your Fort Worth ♪
♪ The home of
Hagman and Meister ♪
- ♪ Kapshaw and Sheiffer ♪
- ♪ Kapshaw and Sheiffer ♪
all: ♪ Tap into
your Fort Worth ♪
- ♪ It's time ♪
- Wait, the eyeball icon thing
- is saying zero.
- [vocalizing]
It's just us in here!
It's just us in here!
Oh.
Cease and desist, bitches.
- [upbeat music]
- ♪ Gonna be famous 5eva ♪
♪ 'Cause 4eva's too short ♪
♪ It's too short ♪
♪ Gonna be famous 3gether ♪
♪ 'Cause that's 1
more than 2gether ♪
♪ Gonna be famous 5eva ♪
♪ 'Cause 4eva's too short ♪
♪ So what are you waiting 5? ♪
♪ Girls5eva ♪
[twinkling note]
Hey, Maria, you gotta
get the Sirius station
off Raw Dog Comedy.
It's 10:00 a.m.
Lisa Lampanelli is on
a "vaginal ruin" run.
Caroline?
Gloria!
Look at you up on that leg.
I saw your post on Facebook.
Oh, yeah. I'm feeling so good.
Feeling so strong.
So what are you doing here?
Making an appointment.
- My cap's loose.
- Oh.
Did you know that some
vegan cakes have pits?
Say no more. I got you, okay?
You stay put.
See you in six months, Logan.
- You didn't do anything.
- Sure I did.
- Dad's waiting.
- Don't I get a toy?
Here.
Why don't you use
this as a jammit
- for your Crocs?
- A what?
Just go.
[light music]
♪ ♪
Ms. Diaz?
The dentist will see you now.
♪ ♪
Yesterday's Live was pathetic.
Well, it was a surprise.
I mean, next time
we send e-vites?
To whom?
I lost my followers
when they banned bots.
Summer lost her
Summer-and-Kev fans.
- I'm a villain now.
- That's why I got low lights.
Gloria's social
is just timestamps
of a murder podcast with
the caption, "Very telling."
I'm callin' it: The
mini mall murders
is Ryan Murphy's
next "Crime Story."
Starring Sarah Paulson as
"Dress Bucket Cashier."
Our album drops in a month!
We need to make noise now!
But what are we supposed to do?
Tate's ghosting us. We
don't have a publicist.
We need one of those
Amandas who wears all black
and always looks pissed
standing behind Adele.
Ooh.
I guess I could be our Amanda.
I have seen all their moves.
- Oh, yeah.
- Let's see.
Right now, our best play
is to cross-pollinate
with people who already
have a huge following.
- Yes.
- Who do we know?
Is anyone not blocked
by Carson Daly?
- No.
- No.
Is anyone willing to
unblock Fred Durst?
- No!
- Absolutely not.
Oh!
Lil Stinker is
shooting a music video.
We know him.
We do.
'Sup, Stink Bugs, I got
so many stars stinkin' by.
People gonna think we
raising money for a disease
that has infiltrated
my inner circle
and lit a fire under
me to find a cure.
Wrong! I'm just popular.
We need to get in that video!
Stinker didn't even put us in
the one where he sampled us.
♪ Boy, they all
talkin' 'bout Stink ♪
- ♪ Yo ♪
- ♪ Gonna be famous 5eva ♪
♪ 'Cause 4eva's too short ♪
Although, I do
think he likes us.
Yeah, he was so cool when we
stole his spot at Jingle Ball.
Yeah, that's true.
When we got bumped in 2001,
I mailed Enrique Iglesias
a ticking piggy bank.
- Jesus, Summer.
- What?
Some mailman got blamed
for it. It was fine.
We should just show up...
If we could figure out
where they're shooting.
There's a brick wall.
I know from Scott's
favorite dinner party story
that every brick
has a unique stamp.
Well, that's a
good lesbian fact.
- [camera shutter clicks]
- Screengrab. Enhance.
Match it to a brickyard.
Get the distro logs.
I commented that we
would be in the area
and he said, "Sure, come by."
- [all gasp, cheer]
- That works too.
His publicist...
- Amanda.
- [laughs]
Will DM the deets for tomorrow.
- [squeals]
- Oh, my gosh!
I can't miss the charity ride.
It's been in the Google
Calendar for months.
I know, it's just that
this video would be
huge for the group.
But it's 9A to Nyack.
It's all part of Declan's
boy-chelorette party.
His what?
- I don't know.
- I'm just quoting him here.
Okay. Um...
Don't worry about Max.
I'll figure it out.
[funky music]
[indistinct chatter]
You gotta work this set
today, you single bitch.
Last time I flirted, I became
a Christian Internet harlot.
I am just focusing
on work today.
How open should my
mouth be in the shot?
Like...
Or...
Two.
- Ew, we were bringing kids?
- Scott had a thing,
and my sitter sold a pilot,
and my brother's
on a casino bus.
But it'll be okay.
I loaded my phone with shows.
- Girls5eva!
- Oh!
- That's us.
- Hi.
I'm Stinker's Amanda.
Well, then kill it.
- Call sheets. Call sheets.
- Thank you.
You guys look amazing.
Don't send a fucking orchid!
Just check in with security.
A PA will get you to set, okay?
- Oh, thank you.
- Thank you.
[quirky music]
- Issa Rae as "Hot Welder."
- [gasps]
Olivia Wilde as "Opulent
Dining Room Wife."
Keanu Reeves as
"Motorcycle Best Friend."
Where are we? Where are we?
Girls5eva, Girls5eva...
[gasps] Number 81.
Right under "Acrobat Waiter."
We are...
"VIP Party Guests." [all gasps]
VIP.
We are finally getting
what we are owed.
[notification chimes]
Oh, my God, Caroline
just texted.
First she came in,
now she's texting?
"Should I take
Advil or Tylenol?"
Oh, God. What do I
say? Has to be perfect.
What's the sexiest
pain reliever?
Bayer, right?
No devices on set.
No...
I didn't get a
chance to press send.
"Chef's Table" wasn't over.
- No, no, no.
- I need that for my kid.
- Standard procedure.
- No spoilers.
The window's closing
on Caroline here.
Sir, uh, this is a
"Sliding Doors" moment.
Oh, good, so it'll
work out either way.
- Come on.
- [growls]
Next.
[upbeat music]
It's like she's gonna see
three dots and then nothing.
Just relax.
That always calms me
down when men say that.
Maybe, uh, you can draw
while mommy's working.
♪ ♪
Go nuts. Okay.
I mean, that text
could've been the start
of us getting back together.
Okay, ladies.
Frowns upside down,
but then slightly down
because we are not goons.
We are VIPS in a Stinker video.
Okay, VIPs,
cheers your drinks as
the camera dollies by!
Playback. Action on rehearsal.
[Lil Stinker's "Who U Know"]
♪ Tell me who you know ♪
♪ Let's talk about
who you know ♪
♪ ♪
Cut! That's the shot.
Let's squirt it! [Bell rings]
No, no, no, no, no,
that was too fast!
I didn't even get to cheers.
I only got my mouth
open this wide.
We'll look like extras
and not featured talent.
All right, I'm gonna
take a leap here
and the Amanda side of me
will clean it up later.
- Playback!
- Follow me.
- Action!
- [music plays]
- ♪ Tell me who you know ♪
- I'm coming!
♪ ♪
♪ Tell me who you know ♪
♪ Your contacts ♪
♪ Let's talk about
who you know ♪
♪ 'Cause I know everyone ♪
♪ They pull up anywhere,
it's 'bout to be hell a fun ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, let's go ♪
♪ Tell me who you know ♪
- Cut!
- [bell rings]
VIP guests should stay seated.
Let's go again.
What?
[laughs] Jingle Ball 2.0.
Girls5eva, these ladies
hate rules like me.
We are habitual line-steppers.
Straight renegades.
Put it on the TV.
You're gonna use it? Amazing.
Summer, you're gooning like
you won a corn contest.
We need to play this right.
Stinker!
Girls5eva had so much
fun, but we have a day.
We're featured artists in
Drake's visual cologne story.
- You understand.
- Cool.
Olivia Wilde's still
in traffic, so...
I think I could put
y'all in another setup.
What's your stance
on fancy dresses
and general abundance?
Let me see if I can
move a few things.
Oh, Girls5eva can make it work.
Let's squirt it!
[squealing quietly]
Did you just get us
Olivia Wilde's part?
It's official.
I'm hired as
Girls5eva's publicist.
I'll hip-pocket us
until the album drops,
then I start taking 20.
I'll drop it down to ten when
I also become our lawyer.
Mommy!
Let's get you all over
to hair and makeup.
I want space buns, okay?
Hey, will you watch
Max for a minute?
I'm just gonna go
get him some food.
Okay.
Okay, sir, come.
I want pizza!
I want pizza!
I want pizza too.
This dude looks like
a little lil me.
He's tech-avail New
York, but I know the mom.
[snaps] Hired.
Stylish people with needles,
make this dude a tiny suit.
[upbeat music]
I know, this is great, but
I'ma need something else.
There is no kid food here.
It's all tartare and
Roger Federer's frosé.
But where's Max?
Is he with Gloria?
Where's Gloria?
- Max is in Wardrobe.
- I Amanda-ed him into the video.
You're welcome.
He's gonna be
"Little Lil Stinker."
What? He's four!
But he plays three
to a small seven.
I solved your problem, Dawn.
Set is the perfect babysitter.
You're fired.
Only he can do that!
- I understand.
- You're very good at your job.
But I need my phone
because I'm on call
- for my practice.
- Ma'am, I can't help you.
I'm a dentist, and I
will fix your snaggle.
What if I witnessed a crime?
You know, phones are police now.
What was that?
- Hey, what are you doing?
- I need my cell phone!
- I can't, all right?
- Gloria!
Gloria. Hi, sorry, sir.
Gloria, come here.
You think you're King
Turd of Phone Mountain?
Hey!
What is wrong with you?
I need to reply to Caroline.
Oh, my God, you are
such a hypocrite.
Huh?
You are always pushing
me to move on from Kev.
And you are still obsessed
with your ex from,
like, ten years ago.
Apples and oranges.
- That means nothing.
- They're both fruits.
They sit next to each
other at the grocery store.
There is a big difference
because Caroline is the one.
- Is she?
- Mm-hmm.
Come on, you look
really hot today.
You need to get out
there and flirt.
I don't feel like it.
I'm bad at it, okay?
- I have no game.
- What?
I have seen you flirt
a zillion times.
You J-O'ed all of O-Town.
You blowfished Hootie.
You ran the table on the cast
of "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
I know, but those were guys.
I had zero investment.
Barely any of those
experiences even implanted
because they weren't
significant to me!
Gloria?
Eddie. [Chuckles]
Picture more hair.
I filmed that
caffeinated-tampons commercial.
[together] Tamperx?
Did we sploink, Ed?
I still think about you.
Sorry, bud. I don't recall.
Sure you were a gentleman.
See? It's just not up there.
But with women, oh, I care.
And then I get weird,
and I talk a lot,
and then I shank it.
Okay, well, how'd
you get Caroline?
She came on to me.
I have never once successfully
picked up a woman.
Ah.
Gloria,
we are not leaving here today
unless you have a phone number.
- Please don't make me do that.
- Come on.
Think of the words of Tamperx.
[punchy music]
Perk Your Snerk with Tamperx!
♪ ♪
[sighs]
I'll try it.
[squeals]
Okay, how long are your arms?
Let's see.
Hey, there you are, buddy!
Hi, you okay?
They're making me a tiny suit.
- Oh.
- He is a love.
- Abigail, PA.
- I hope I didn't step a line,
but he seemed hungry, so I gave
him biscuits and a plicky egg.
Oh, so you got some food?
Who wants to learn
some moves, little man?
It's your boy J. Swerve. Boom.
- Hey, Mr. Swerve.
- I'm Dawn, the mother.
Oh, kill a. What's up?
Ms. Sol a no, we should
get you to hair and makeup.
Ma'am, we have got
him all sorted.
Bye, Mommy.
[murmurs] Bye, mommy.
Bye.
Okay, little man, are
you a kinesthetic learner
or a social-interpersonal?
Okay, is an indoor backpack
a sign that you might be...
She's cute. I like her.
My ticker's going,
and my knees are weak,
and I wanna buy her a horse.
Okay, well, go.
Go, don't even think
about it. Just go!
Do it!
[indistinct chatter]
What do you need?
Are you looking for
snacks or diarrhea stuff?
- Neither.
- [chuckles]
I'm Gloria.
Girls5eva.
81st on the call sheet.
Funny they call it
the "call sheet."
We can't make calls in here.
[breathes deeply]
Interesting story.
The only feature I don't use
on my phone is the phone.
'Cause I like podcasts.
Do you like podcasts?
Who do you think did
the mini mall murders?
The what?
The unsolved Kenosha mini
mall murders of 1971.
The slayings!
But what do you do
when you find one body
with eight severed pinkies?
Nothing for months if
you're the North Kenosha PD.
- Can you get me out of here?
- Let's go.
Next door at Dress
Bucket, it was worse.
They couldn't even test for DNA
because the officer had
vomited all over the scene.
Detective Rollins found
dead in his own car,
by his own hand!
[drill whirring]
Bladder analysis...
[drill whirring continues]
Not as the Foot Locker ref...
Brains on the highway.
[drill whirring]
Semen was a match.
Which brings us back to Clancy.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm working.
Yep.
Shit.
[lounge music]
Amanda!
- [laughs]
- Is this ours?
Well, there's bourbon.
I explained to production
that if we had Olivia's part,
we should have
her dressing room.
This set is putty in my hand.
Oh, there you guys are.
Wow, God, I guess I
don't need to change
under my triple-XL
Giants jersey.
Is Max learning the dance?
[sighs] He's with J. Swerve.
Guys, do I really just
let him be in this video?
Oh, my God, yes!
Dawn, I loved sets as a kid.
Right, you did that off-brand
"Mickey Mouse Club."
[cheesy, playful music]
- [together]
- The Ricky Rats!
Ricky is a
uniquely-designed rodent.
If you look closely,
his ears are different.
- He only wears one glove, and...
- They're here.
Turn it off!
I warned you it was too close.
Turn it off. [Tape buzzes]
Dawn, it was so much fun.
And yeah, I missed some school,
but if I need to know
how to make a big W,
I just look it up.
What if Max is amazing
and he wants to do
this his whole life?
This business can
be a shit show.
Is he gonna have to put
sunscreen on a producer's back
during an indoor meeting?
I mean, is he gonna see
a deep fake of himself
hooking up with Gargamel?
I mean, that stuff
sticks with you.
Oh, those are mainly the gifts
of the female experience.
Then there's the uncertainty.
One minute, your
cassingle comes preloaded
into every Subaru Impreza.
The next, Don Imus is calling
you "the poor man's Fergie."
God, I remember that.
You end up working
for your brother
because you spent
what should've been
your college years guest
hosting "BattleBots"
and touring the greatest parts
of the former Soviet Union.
Wait, do you not
like what we do?
No, no. I love it.
I just thought for my son.
I want Max to be...
- Boring?
- Yeah.
Just, like, nice
and uncomplicated.
- Mm.
- Like Scott.
[sighs] Scott falls
asleep in three minutes.
He knows his days
off years in advance.
He's reading a book about
the history of Chicago.
Ugh.
- I want that for Max.
- Girls5eva,
Issa Rae canceled so we'll
have to shuffle things around.
The dining room scene is next.
Then we'll move on to
Little Lil Stinker.
No! Um...
Uh, Max is out.
I'm not having him
become someone who ever
has to set the record
straight in a memoir.
- [sheepish laugh]
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
You should talk to the
one in the vest again.
Forget murder... [gasps]
Talk about jeans.
Everybody's got an opinion.
- Go, go, go, go!
- No!
Enough!
I am done!
So, uh
you get to force me
to grow and change...
And it's really hard
and I hate it...
And I don't get backsies?
I think I know what I
need for myself, okay?
Oh, yeah, you think
you're so smart
just because you're a doctor
and I left school when
we were doing maps.
But you're the baby here.
I am post-op, but
I will punch you!
Try me, because I will
punch you so hard,
they're gonna think that
you're the 16th victim
of the mini mall murders.
There were 16 victims!
The Clancy cousin in Sacramento!
You shit-bird!
Now you four don't need to do
exactly what Olivia
Wilde would a done.
Make it your own.
- You look amazing.
- I do look amazing.
Hey, Wickie, when
we get rolling,
would you tell Summer
to pass me the watches?
- Thanks.
- That's so weird,
Gloria telling someone
else what to do.
Oh, wait. [Bell rings]
That's not weird.
Ladies, I only take on clients
that leave their
nonsense at the door.
- Playback!
- Hey.
Focus up. Let's go.
Action!
♪ All of the homies have jets ♪
♪ I fly, but my
charter's a flex ♪
♪ And I know the
pilot, it's Brett ♪
♪ And he left my chain
in Tibet, bye-bye ♪
♪ Everywhere an exit row ♪
♪ Got "Soul Plane"
stripper poles ♪
♪ Dad like, "Who your
contacts, boy?" ♪
♪ I shake hands with
so and so, make bands ♪
♪ Yeah, let's talk
about who you know ♪
♪ Your contacts ♪
♪ Let's talk about
who you know ♪
♪ ♪
♪ 'Cause I know everyone ♪
♪ Yeah, they pull up anywhere ♪
♪ It's 'bout to be hell a fun ♪
♪ Yo, I get Wilde with Olivia ♪
♪ You heard what I said? ♪
♪ I'm Reeving Harleys
with Keanu, yeah ♪
♪ We was in "Bill & Ted" ♪
♪ You can catch me outside ♪
♪ In the trenches, denches ♪
♪ From Zendaya to Zen-night a ♪
♪ Forgot to mention ♪
And cut.
- That's the sauce.
- [cheering]
- [bell rings]
- That was dope.
- [squealing]
- [laughs]
Good think you protected
Max from all this joy.
Get the tiny suit!
- Yes!
- [laughs]
He's gonna have so much fun!
Okay, bud.
Just look right at this camera
and do the move that
J. Swerve taught you.
- [music plays]
- Let's go.
Shuffle, shuffle. Drop the mic.
- Shuffle, shuffle.
- Go ahead, bud.
Look right into the camera.
Shuffle, shuffle.
Drop the mic.
Shuffle, shuffle.
- No, not at me.
- Over here. In the camera.
Shuffle, shuffle.
Drop the mic.
- Wrong camera, buddy.
- Shuffle, shuffle...
- J. Swerve, J. Swerve!
- I need you to cool it, man.
[music stops]
I can't work with this kid.
I'm sorry, what did you say?
This isn't gonna work. Sorry.
Really?
[light music]
He's boring, just
like his father.
Hi.
Can I play with another receipt?
Yes, honey!
Oh, yes.
♪ ♪
Keanu Reeves has a
family emergency.
Pfft, publicist-speak for
"Botox settled weird."
Wait, what's Botox?
He's supposed to play
"Motorcycle Best Friend."
So I go to Stinker, "You're
only gonna have two motorcycles
in your whole video?"
Cut to they're bringing in
more motorcycles for us.
Cross-pollination achieved.
I have reached peak Amanda.
We're all over this video!
Hey, ladies, I just
wanna say, no cap,
thank you for being
here for me today.
- Oh.
- Y'all are awesome.
Everybody else is cowards.
- Cowards?
- Yeah, well, uh,
I don't know how big a thing
it's gonna end up being.
How big what a thing?
Well, you know, it
could be a yittle-blip,
like Camila Cabello's blog,
or it could take me down.
It's in Twitter's hands now.
At least you and Matt
Damon are still here.
[cries out]
What did you do, Little Stinker?
Y'all don't know?
What, y'all don't
have a publicist?
Well, uh, see, a
couple nights back,
I was passed out in the
backseat of my Tesla
in self-driving mode, and
well, I guess I plowed through
some graves at
Arlington Cemetery.
Doesn't help that the dashcam
footage leaked yesterday
and my penis was
a little bit out.
But the coke was making me hot.
Good gravy, Stinker.
[sighs]
Well, that's why everyone
kept dropping out today.
That's why that Harlem
Globetrotter ran away from me.
50/50 on that one, babe.
I think being a publicist is
mostly about having a phone.
Oh, J.K. Rowling just tweeted
in support of you, Stinker.
[gasps]
- Shut it all down.
- I'm going to France.
- That's a wrap!
- [bell rings]
Today was for nothing.
This is so unfair.
We will never get this level
of hair and makeup again.
No, no.
I refuse to let this
day be for nothing.
We are shooting a year's
worth of social media posts
while we look like this!
Dawn, get over here!
I'm going to get my phone.
- Guard the rack!
- Yes!
[upbeat music]
All: It's album-drop day!
[cheering]
- We got the shot.
- Let's move it.
Come on. [Champagne bottle pops]
Congratulations to the Dodgers
on their World Series victory!
Congratulations to the Astros
on their World Series victory!
Congratulations to the Mets...
Hey, don't waste
time on the Mets!
Our hearts go out to
the families and animals
- in the disaster zone.
- Okay, we're out.
We're clear, we're
clear, we're clear.
It's on. It's on.
It's on. Get the hat.
Guys, I know I'm
late to the party,
but I finally
watched "Mr. Robot."
America can finally sleep,
for tonight, through
citizen journalism,
I have solved the
mini mall murders.
I got this. I got this.
Turn it... turn it around.
- Go, go! Get it, get it!
- On this National Siblings Day,
I'd like to formally announce
severing ties with my brother,
Richard McManus.
Big news. I'm in love!
Big news. We're
moving in together!
♪ ♪
Big news. Me and
name-added-in-post
are engaged!
All: ♪ Craft breweries
causing a major rebirth ♪
♪ Tap into your Fort Worth ♪
[squealing, cheering]
We did it!
Gloria, I, uh...
I took the liberty of putting
my number in your phone.
Well, I don't know
your pass code,
so I put it on your
phone on a Post-it.
- You gave me nothing earlier.
- Well, I'm a professional.
I was at work, but
we're wrapped, so...
So wait.
- I'm not bad at this?
- No, you are.
It's just cute.
[light music]
[squealing]
Thank you, Summer. I'm sorry.
Maybe I just needed
a push to move on.
Oh.
Don't make me cry.
I want these lashes
to last three days.
[notification chimes]
Chips and dip, Caroline texted!
- Ugh.
- A lot.
I didn't write her
back, so she spiraled.
Wait, which Muppet is that?
I don't know.
That's her snerk!
- Oh.
- I'm back in!
Oh, Gloria.
Nope, don't you say a word.
I've been waiting
so long for this.
Then you are not
allowed to say one word
the next time you think
baby Summer needs to grow.
- Deal.
- Okay.
- Deal. Love you.
- I love you.
Hey, guy dressed entirely
in swag from canceled shows,
get off your ass and
take me to my ex-wife's.
♪ ♪
Aw, go perk your
snerk, baby girl.
[Lil Stinker's "Who U Know"]
♪ Yeah, let's talk
about who you know ♪
♪ Your contacts ♪
♪ Let's talk about
who you know ♪
♪ 'Cause I know everyone ♪
♪ Yeah, they pull up anywhere ♪
♪ It's 'bout to be hell a fun ♪
♪ Yo, yeah, yeah, let's go ♪
♪ Tell me who you know, with
me, you drink for free ♪
♪ Tell me who you know,
we got our own tequila ♪
♪ Drink up ♪
♪ We will shake hands,
small talk, make plans ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Yo, Flat Stanley knows me ♪
♪ Yo, sour candy knows me ♪
♪ Yo, creepy hand from The
Addams Family knows me ♪
♪ Yo, the king of
prom knows me, huh ♪
♪ Spider-Man Tom
knows Stank, what ♪
- ♪ Your mom ♪
- ♪ Mommy ♪
♪ But also my mom
knows me, shucks ♪
♪ All of the homies have jets ♪
♪ I fly, but my
charter's a flex ♪
♪ And I know the
pilot, it's Brett ♪
♪ And he left my chain
in Tibet, bye-bye ♪
♪ Everywhere an exit row ♪
♪ Got "Soul Plane"
stripper poles ♪
♪ Dad like, "Who your
contacts, boy?" ♪
♪ I shake hands with
so and so, make bands ♪
♪ Yeah, let's talk
about who you know ♪
♪ Your contacts ♪
♪ Let's talk about
who you know ♪
♪ ♪
♪ 'Cause I know everyone ♪
♪ Yeah, they pull up anywhere ♪
♪ It's 'bout to be hell a fun ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, let's go ♪
♪ Tell me who you know,
with me you drink for free ♪
♪ Tell me who you know,
we got our own tequilas ♪
♪ We will shake hands,
small talk, make plans ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Shoot, Luke Cage knows me ♪
♪ Auntie, Robert
Roberts knows me ♪
♪ Maile, Naruto knows me ♪
♪ Bro, the Wyld
Stallyns know me ♪
♪ Whoa ♪
- Good night, everybody.
- Good night.
[biscuit crunching]
- All: Hi!
- [cheers]
It's Girls5eva, and we're here
with a surprise first
look at us in the stude!
Here's one we've
been working on.
It's an ode to the
largest city in America
that doesn't have a
hit song about it!
We saw a hole in
the marketplace.
♪ East Exchange Avenue ♪
♪ Steers in my rearview ♪
♪ Gonna hit what
"USA Today" calls ♪
♪ "The second-best zoo" ♪
all: ♪ 'Cause Cowtown
is a wow town ♪
♪ With a walkable downtown ♪
♪ It's time to tap
into your Fort Worth ♪
♪ The home of
Hagman and Meister ♪
- ♪ Kapshaw and Sheiffer ♪
- ♪ Kapshaw and Sheiffer ♪
all: ♪ Tap into
your Fort Worth ♪
- ♪ It's time ♪
- Wait, the eyeball icon thing
- is saying zero.
- [vocalizing]
It's just us in here!
It's just us in here!
Oh.
Cease and desist, bitches.
- [upbeat music]
- ♪ Gonna be famous 5eva ♪
♪ 'Cause 4eva's too short ♪
♪ It's too short ♪
♪ Gonna be famous 3gether ♪
♪ 'Cause that's 1
more than 2gether ♪
♪ Gonna be famous 5eva ♪
♪ 'Cause 4eva's too short ♪
♪ So what are you waiting 5? ♪
♪ Girls5eva ♪
[twinkling note]
Hey, Maria, you gotta
get the Sirius station
off Raw Dog Comedy.
It's 10:00 a.m.
Lisa Lampanelli is on
a "vaginal ruin" run.
Caroline?
Gloria!
Look at you up on that leg.
I saw your post on Facebook.
Oh, yeah. I'm feeling so good.
Feeling so strong.
So what are you doing here?
Making an appointment.
- My cap's loose.
- Oh.
Did you know that some
vegan cakes have pits?
Say no more. I got you, okay?
You stay put.
See you in six months, Logan.
- You didn't do anything.
- Sure I did.
- Dad's waiting.
- Don't I get a toy?
Here.
Why don't you use
this as a jammit
- for your Crocs?
- A what?
Just go.
[light music]
♪ ♪
Ms. Diaz?
The dentist will see you now.
♪ ♪
Yesterday's Live was pathetic.
Well, it was a surprise.
I mean, next time
we send e-vites?
To whom?
I lost my followers
when they banned bots.
Summer lost her
Summer-and-Kev fans.
- I'm a villain now.
- That's why I got low lights.
Gloria's social
is just timestamps
of a murder podcast with
the caption, "Very telling."
I'm callin' it: The
mini mall murders
is Ryan Murphy's
next "Crime Story."
Starring Sarah Paulson as
"Dress Bucket Cashier."
Our album drops in a month!
We need to make noise now!
But what are we supposed to do?
Tate's ghosting us. We
don't have a publicist.
We need one of those
Amandas who wears all black
and always looks pissed
standing behind Adele.
Ooh.
I guess I could be our Amanda.
I have seen all their moves.
- Oh, yeah.
- Let's see.
Right now, our best play
is to cross-pollinate
with people who already
have a huge following.
- Yes.
- Who do we know?
Is anyone not blocked
by Carson Daly?
- No.
- No.
Is anyone willing to
unblock Fred Durst?
- No!
- Absolutely not.
Oh!
Lil Stinker is
shooting a music video.
We know him.
We do.
'Sup, Stink Bugs, I got
so many stars stinkin' by.
People gonna think we
raising money for a disease
that has infiltrated
my inner circle
and lit a fire under
me to find a cure.
Wrong! I'm just popular.
We need to get in that video!
Stinker didn't even put us in
the one where he sampled us.
♪ Boy, they all
talkin' 'bout Stink ♪
- ♪ Yo ♪
- ♪ Gonna be famous 5eva ♪
♪ 'Cause 4eva's too short ♪
Although, I do
think he likes us.
Yeah, he was so cool when we
stole his spot at Jingle Ball.
Yeah, that's true.
When we got bumped in 2001,
I mailed Enrique Iglesias
a ticking piggy bank.
- Jesus, Summer.
- What?
Some mailman got blamed
for it. It was fine.
We should just show up...
If we could figure out
where they're shooting.
There's a brick wall.
I know from Scott's
favorite dinner party story
that every brick
has a unique stamp.
Well, that's a
good lesbian fact.
- [camera shutter clicks]
- Screengrab. Enhance.
Match it to a brickyard.
Get the distro logs.
I commented that we
would be in the area
and he said, "Sure, come by."
- [all gasp, cheer]
- That works too.
His publicist...
- Amanda.
- [laughs]
Will DM the deets for tomorrow.
- [squeals]
- Oh, my gosh!
I can't miss the charity ride.
It's been in the Google
Calendar for months.
I know, it's just that
this video would be
huge for the group.
But it's 9A to Nyack.
It's all part of Declan's
boy-chelorette party.
His what?
- I don't know.
- I'm just quoting him here.
Okay. Um...
Don't worry about Max.
I'll figure it out.
[funky music]
[indistinct chatter]
You gotta work this set
today, you single bitch.
Last time I flirted, I became
a Christian Internet harlot.
I am just focusing
on work today.
How open should my
mouth be in the shot?
Like...
Or...
Two.
- Ew, we were bringing kids?
- Scott had a thing,
and my sitter sold a pilot,
and my brother's
on a casino bus.
But it'll be okay.
I loaded my phone with shows.
- Girls5eva!
- Oh!
- That's us.
- Hi.
I'm Stinker's Amanda.
Well, then kill it.
- Call sheets. Call sheets.
- Thank you.
You guys look amazing.
Don't send a fucking orchid!
Just check in with security.
A PA will get you to set, okay?
- Oh, thank you.
- Thank you.
[quirky music]
- Issa Rae as "Hot Welder."
- [gasps]
Olivia Wilde as "Opulent
Dining Room Wife."
Keanu Reeves as
"Motorcycle Best Friend."
Where are we? Where are we?
Girls5eva, Girls5eva...
[gasps] Number 81.
Right under "Acrobat Waiter."
We are...
"VIP Party Guests." [all gasps]
VIP.
We are finally getting
what we are owed.
[notification chimes]
Oh, my God, Caroline
just texted.
First she came in,
now she's texting?
"Should I take
Advil or Tylenol?"
Oh, God. What do I
say? Has to be perfect.
What's the sexiest
pain reliever?
Bayer, right?
No devices on set.
No...
I didn't get a
chance to press send.
"Chef's Table" wasn't over.
- No, no, no.
- I need that for my kid.
- Standard procedure.
- No spoilers.
The window's closing
on Caroline here.
Sir, uh, this is a
"Sliding Doors" moment.
Oh, good, so it'll
work out either way.
- Come on.
- [growls]
Next.
[upbeat music]
It's like she's gonna see
three dots and then nothing.
Just relax.
That always calms me
down when men say that.
Maybe, uh, you can draw
while mommy's working.
♪ ♪
Go nuts. Okay.
I mean, that text
could've been the start
of us getting back together.
Okay, ladies.
Frowns upside down,
but then slightly down
because we are not goons.
We are VIPS in a Stinker video.
Okay, VIPs,
cheers your drinks as
the camera dollies by!
Playback. Action on rehearsal.
[Lil Stinker's "Who U Know"]
♪ Tell me who you know ♪
♪ Let's talk about
who you know ♪
♪ ♪
Cut! That's the shot.
Let's squirt it! [Bell rings]
No, no, no, no, no,
that was too fast!
I didn't even get to cheers.
I only got my mouth
open this wide.
We'll look like extras
and not featured talent.
All right, I'm gonna
take a leap here
and the Amanda side of me
will clean it up later.
- Playback!
- Follow me.
- Action!
- [music plays]
- ♪ Tell me who you know ♪
- I'm coming!
♪ ♪
♪ Tell me who you know ♪
♪ Your contacts ♪
♪ Let's talk about
who you know ♪
♪ 'Cause I know everyone ♪
♪ They pull up anywhere,
it's 'bout to be hell a fun ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, let's go ♪
♪ Tell me who you know ♪
- Cut!
- [bell rings]
VIP guests should stay seated.
Let's go again.
What?
[laughs] Jingle Ball 2.0.
Girls5eva, these ladies
hate rules like me.
We are habitual line-steppers.
Straight renegades.
Put it on the TV.
You're gonna use it? Amazing.
Summer, you're gooning like
you won a corn contest.
We need to play this right.
Stinker!
Girls5eva had so much
fun, but we have a day.
We're featured artists in
Drake's visual cologne story.
- You understand.
- Cool.
Olivia Wilde's still
in traffic, so...
I think I could put
y'all in another setup.
What's your stance
on fancy dresses
and general abundance?
Let me see if I can
move a few things.
Oh, Girls5eva can make it work.
Let's squirt it!
[squealing quietly]
Did you just get us
Olivia Wilde's part?
It's official.
I'm hired as
Girls5eva's publicist.
I'll hip-pocket us
until the album drops,
then I start taking 20.
I'll drop it down to ten when
I also become our lawyer.
Mommy!
Let's get you all over
to hair and makeup.
I want space buns, okay?
Hey, will you watch
Max for a minute?
I'm just gonna go
get him some food.
Okay.
Okay, sir, come.
I want pizza!
I want pizza!
I want pizza too.
This dude looks like
a little lil me.
He's tech-avail New
York, but I know the mom.
[snaps] Hired.
Stylish people with needles,
make this dude a tiny suit.
[upbeat music]
I know, this is great, but
I'ma need something else.
There is no kid food here.
It's all tartare and
Roger Federer's frosé.
But where's Max?
Is he with Gloria?
Where's Gloria?
- Max is in Wardrobe.
- I Amanda-ed him into the video.
You're welcome.
He's gonna be
"Little Lil Stinker."
What? He's four!
But he plays three
to a small seven.
I solved your problem, Dawn.
Set is the perfect babysitter.
You're fired.
Only he can do that!
- I understand.
- You're very good at your job.
But I need my phone
because I'm on call
- for my practice.
- Ma'am, I can't help you.
I'm a dentist, and I
will fix your snaggle.
What if I witnessed a crime?
You know, phones are police now.
What was that?
- Hey, what are you doing?
- I need my cell phone!
- I can't, all right?
- Gloria!
Gloria. Hi, sorry, sir.
Gloria, come here.
You think you're King
Turd of Phone Mountain?
Hey!
What is wrong with you?
I need to reply to Caroline.
Oh, my God, you are
such a hypocrite.
Huh?
You are always pushing
me to move on from Kev.
And you are still obsessed
with your ex from,
like, ten years ago.
Apples and oranges.
- That means nothing.
- They're both fruits.
They sit next to each
other at the grocery store.
There is a big difference
because Caroline is the one.
- Is she?
- Mm-hmm.
Come on, you look
really hot today.
You need to get out
there and flirt.
I don't feel like it.
I'm bad at it, okay?
- I have no game.
- What?
I have seen you flirt
a zillion times.
You J-O'ed all of O-Town.
You blowfished Hootie.
You ran the table on the cast
of "Whose Line Is It Anyway?"
I know, but those were guys.
I had zero investment.
Barely any of those
experiences even implanted
because they weren't
significant to me!
Gloria?
Eddie. [Chuckles]
Picture more hair.
I filmed that
caffeinated-tampons commercial.
[together] Tamperx?
Did we sploink, Ed?
I still think about you.
Sorry, bud. I don't recall.
Sure you were a gentleman.
See? It's just not up there.
But with women, oh, I care.
And then I get weird,
and I talk a lot,
and then I shank it.
Okay, well, how'd
you get Caroline?
She came on to me.
I have never once successfully
picked up a woman.
Ah.
Gloria,
we are not leaving here today
unless you have a phone number.
- Please don't make me do that.
- Come on.
Think of the words of Tamperx.
[punchy music]
Perk Your Snerk with Tamperx!
♪ ♪
[sighs]
I'll try it.
[squeals]
Okay, how long are your arms?
Let's see.
Hey, there you are, buddy!
Hi, you okay?
They're making me a tiny suit.
- Oh.
- He is a love.
- Abigail, PA.
- I hope I didn't step a line,
but he seemed hungry, so I gave
him biscuits and a plicky egg.
Oh, so you got some food?
Who wants to learn
some moves, little man?
It's your boy J. Swerve. Boom.
- Hey, Mr. Swerve.
- I'm Dawn, the mother.
Oh, kill a. What's up?
Ms. Sol a no, we should
get you to hair and makeup.
Ma'am, we have got
him all sorted.
Bye, Mommy.
[murmurs] Bye, mommy.
Bye.
Okay, little man, are
you a kinesthetic learner
or a social-interpersonal?
Okay, is an indoor backpack
a sign that you might be...
She's cute. I like her.
My ticker's going,
and my knees are weak,
and I wanna buy her a horse.
Okay, well, go.
Go, don't even think
about it. Just go!
Do it!
[indistinct chatter]
What do you need?
Are you looking for
snacks or diarrhea stuff?
- Neither.
- [chuckles]
I'm Gloria.
Girls5eva.
81st on the call sheet.
Funny they call it
the "call sheet."
We can't make calls in here.
[breathes deeply]
Interesting story.
The only feature I don't use
on my phone is the phone.
'Cause I like podcasts.
Do you like podcasts?
Who do you think did
the mini mall murders?
The what?
The unsolved Kenosha mini
mall murders of 1971.
The slayings!
But what do you do
when you find one body
with eight severed pinkies?
Nothing for months if
you're the North Kenosha PD.
- Can you get me out of here?
- Let's go.
Next door at Dress
Bucket, it was worse.
They couldn't even test for DNA
because the officer had
vomited all over the scene.
Detective Rollins found
dead in his own car,
by his own hand!
[drill whirring]
Bladder analysis...
[drill whirring continues]
Not as the Foot Locker ref...
Brains on the highway.
[drill whirring]
Semen was a match.
Which brings us back to Clancy.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm working.
Yep.
Shit.
[lounge music]
Amanda!
- [laughs]
- Is this ours?
Well, there's bourbon.
I explained to production
that if we had Olivia's part,
we should have
her dressing room.
This set is putty in my hand.
Oh, there you guys are.
Wow, God, I guess I
don't need to change
under my triple-XL
Giants jersey.
Is Max learning the dance?
[sighs] He's with J. Swerve.
Guys, do I really just
let him be in this video?
Oh, my God, yes!
Dawn, I loved sets as a kid.
Right, you did that off-brand
"Mickey Mouse Club."
[cheesy, playful music]
- [together]
- The Ricky Rats!
Ricky is a
uniquely-designed rodent.
If you look closely,
his ears are different.
- He only wears one glove, and...
- They're here.
Turn it off!
I warned you it was too close.
Turn it off. [Tape buzzes]
Dawn, it was so much fun.
And yeah, I missed some school,
but if I need to know
how to make a big W,
I just look it up.
What if Max is amazing
and he wants to do
this his whole life?
This business can
be a shit show.
Is he gonna have to put
sunscreen on a producer's back
during an indoor meeting?
I mean, is he gonna see
a deep fake of himself
hooking up with Gargamel?
I mean, that stuff
sticks with you.
Oh, those are mainly the gifts
of the female experience.
Then there's the uncertainty.
One minute, your
cassingle comes preloaded
into every Subaru Impreza.
The next, Don Imus is calling
you "the poor man's Fergie."
God, I remember that.
You end up working
for your brother
because you spent
what should've been
your college years guest
hosting "BattleBots"
and touring the greatest parts
of the former Soviet Union.
Wait, do you not
like what we do?
No, no. I love it.
I just thought for my son.
I want Max to be...
- Boring?
- Yeah.
Just, like, nice
and uncomplicated.
- Mm.
- Like Scott.
[sighs] Scott falls
asleep in three minutes.
He knows his days
off years in advance.
He's reading a book about
the history of Chicago.
Ugh.
- I want that for Max.
- Girls5eva,
Issa Rae canceled so we'll
have to shuffle things around.
The dining room scene is next.
Then we'll move on to
Little Lil Stinker.
No! Um...
Uh, Max is out.
I'm not having him
become someone who ever
has to set the record
straight in a memoir.
- [sheepish laugh]
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
You should talk to the
one in the vest again.
Forget murder... [gasps]
Talk about jeans.
Everybody's got an opinion.
- Go, go, go, go!
- No!
Enough!
I am done!
So, uh
you get to force me
to grow and change...
And it's really hard
and I hate it...
And I don't get backsies?
I think I know what I
need for myself, okay?
Oh, yeah, you think
you're so smart
just because you're a doctor
and I left school when
we were doing maps.
But you're the baby here.
I am post-op, but
I will punch you!
Try me, because I will
punch you so hard,
they're gonna think that
you're the 16th victim
of the mini mall murders.
There were 16 victims!
The Clancy cousin in Sacramento!
You shit-bird!
Now you four don't need to do
exactly what Olivia
Wilde would a done.
Make it your own.
- You look amazing.
- I do look amazing.
Hey, Wickie, when
we get rolling,
would you tell Summer
to pass me the watches?
- Thanks.
- That's so weird,
Gloria telling someone
else what to do.
Oh, wait. [Bell rings]
That's not weird.
Ladies, I only take on clients
that leave their
nonsense at the door.
- Playback!
- Hey.
Focus up. Let's go.
Action!
♪ All of the homies have jets ♪
♪ I fly, but my
charter's a flex ♪
♪ And I know the
pilot, it's Brett ♪
♪ And he left my chain
in Tibet, bye-bye ♪
♪ Everywhere an exit row ♪
♪ Got "Soul Plane"
stripper poles ♪
♪ Dad like, "Who your
contacts, boy?" ♪
♪ I shake hands with
so and so, make bands ♪
♪ Yeah, let's talk
about who you know ♪
♪ Your contacts ♪
♪ Let's talk about
who you know ♪
♪ ♪
♪ 'Cause I know everyone ♪
♪ Yeah, they pull up anywhere ♪
♪ It's 'bout to be hell a fun ♪
♪ Yo, I get Wilde with Olivia ♪
♪ You heard what I said? ♪
♪ I'm Reeving Harleys
with Keanu, yeah ♪
♪ We was in "Bill & Ted" ♪
♪ You can catch me outside ♪
♪ In the trenches, denches ♪
♪ From Zendaya to Zen-night a ♪
♪ Forgot to mention ♪
And cut.
- That's the sauce.
- [cheering]
- [bell rings]
- That was dope.
- [squealing]
- [laughs]
Good think you protected
Max from all this joy.
Get the tiny suit!
- Yes!
- [laughs]
He's gonna have so much fun!
Okay, bud.
Just look right at this camera
and do the move that
J. Swerve taught you.
- [music plays]
- Let's go.
Shuffle, shuffle. Drop the mic.
- Shuffle, shuffle.
- Go ahead, bud.
Look right into the camera.
Shuffle, shuffle.
Drop the mic.
Shuffle, shuffle.
- No, not at me.
- Over here. In the camera.
Shuffle, shuffle.
Drop the mic.
- Wrong camera, buddy.
- Shuffle, shuffle...
- J. Swerve, J. Swerve!
- I need you to cool it, man.
[music stops]
I can't work with this kid.
I'm sorry, what did you say?
This isn't gonna work. Sorry.
Really?
[light music]
He's boring, just
like his father.
Hi.
Can I play with another receipt?
Yes, honey!
Oh, yes.
♪ ♪
Keanu Reeves has a
family emergency.
Pfft, publicist-speak for
"Botox settled weird."
Wait, what's Botox?
He's supposed to play
"Motorcycle Best Friend."
So I go to Stinker, "You're
only gonna have two motorcycles
in your whole video?"
Cut to they're bringing in
more motorcycles for us.
Cross-pollination achieved.
I have reached peak Amanda.
We're all over this video!
Hey, ladies, I just
wanna say, no cap,
thank you for being
here for me today.
- Oh.
- Y'all are awesome.
Everybody else is cowards.
- Cowards?
- Yeah, well, uh,
I don't know how big a thing
it's gonna end up being.
How big what a thing?
Well, you know, it
could be a yittle-blip,
like Camila Cabello's blog,
or it could take me down.
It's in Twitter's hands now.
At least you and Matt
Damon are still here.
[cries out]
What did you do, Little Stinker?
Y'all don't know?
What, y'all don't
have a publicist?
Well, uh, see, a
couple nights back,
I was passed out in the
backseat of my Tesla
in self-driving mode, and
well, I guess I plowed through
some graves at
Arlington Cemetery.
Doesn't help that the dashcam
footage leaked yesterday
and my penis was
a little bit out.
But the coke was making me hot.
Good gravy, Stinker.
[sighs]
Well, that's why everyone
kept dropping out today.
That's why that Harlem
Globetrotter ran away from me.
50/50 on that one, babe.
I think being a publicist is
mostly about having a phone.
Oh, J.K. Rowling just tweeted
in support of you, Stinker.
[gasps]
- Shut it all down.
- I'm going to France.
- That's a wrap!
- [bell rings]
Today was for nothing.
This is so unfair.
We will never get this level
of hair and makeup again.
No, no.
I refuse to let this
day be for nothing.
We are shooting a year's
worth of social media posts
while we look like this!
Dawn, get over here!
I'm going to get my phone.
- Guard the rack!
- Yes!
[upbeat music]
All: It's album-drop day!
[cheering]
- We got the shot.
- Let's move it.
Come on. [Champagne bottle pops]
Congratulations to the Dodgers
on their World Series victory!
Congratulations to the Astros
on their World Series victory!
Congratulations to the Mets...
Hey, don't waste
time on the Mets!
Our hearts go out to
the families and animals
- in the disaster zone.
- Okay, we're out.
We're clear, we're
clear, we're clear.
It's on. It's on.
It's on. Get the hat.
Guys, I know I'm
late to the party,
but I finally
watched "Mr. Robot."
America can finally sleep,
for tonight, through
citizen journalism,
I have solved the
mini mall murders.
I got this. I got this.
Turn it... turn it around.
- Go, go! Get it, get it!
- On this National Siblings Day,
I'd like to formally announce
severing ties with my brother,
Richard McManus.
Big news. I'm in love!
Big news. We're
moving in together!
♪ ♪
Big news. Me and
name-added-in-post
are engaged!
All: ♪ Craft breweries
causing a major rebirth ♪
♪ Tap into your Fort Worth ♪
[squealing, cheering]
We did it!
Gloria, I, uh...
I took the liberty of putting
my number in your phone.
Well, I don't know
your pass code,
so I put it on your
phone on a Post-it.
- You gave me nothing earlier.
- Well, I'm a professional.
I was at work, but
we're wrapped, so...
So wait.
- I'm not bad at this?
- No, you are.
It's just cute.
[light music]
[squealing]
Thank you, Summer. I'm sorry.
Maybe I just needed
a push to move on.
Oh.
Don't make me cry.
I want these lashes
to last three days.
[notification chimes]
Chips and dip, Caroline texted!
- Ugh.
- A lot.
I didn't write her
back, so she spiraled.
Wait, which Muppet is that?
I don't know.
That's her snerk!
- Oh.
- I'm back in!
Oh, Gloria.
Nope, don't you say a word.
I've been waiting
so long for this.
Then you are not
allowed to say one word
the next time you think
baby Summer needs to grow.
- Deal.
- Okay.
- Deal. Love you.
- I love you.
Hey, guy dressed entirely
in swag from canceled shows,
get off your ass and
take me to my ex-wife's.
♪ ♪
Aw, go perk your
snerk, baby girl.
[Lil Stinker's "Who U Know"]
♪ Yeah, let's talk
about who you know ♪
♪ Your contacts ♪
♪ Let's talk about
who you know ♪
♪ 'Cause I know everyone ♪
♪ Yeah, they pull up anywhere ♪
♪ It's 'bout to be hell a fun ♪
♪ Yo, yeah, yeah, let's go ♪
♪ Tell me who you know, with
me, you drink for free ♪
♪ Tell me who you know,
we got our own tequila ♪
♪ Drink up ♪
♪ We will shake hands,
small talk, make plans ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Yo, Flat Stanley knows me ♪
♪ Yo, sour candy knows me ♪
♪ Yo, creepy hand from The
Addams Family knows me ♪
♪ Yo, the king of
prom knows me, huh ♪
♪ Spider-Man Tom
knows Stank, what ♪
- ♪ Your mom ♪
- ♪ Mommy ♪
♪ But also my mom
knows me, shucks ♪
♪ All of the homies have jets ♪
♪ I fly, but my
charter's a flex ♪
♪ And I know the
pilot, it's Brett ♪
♪ And he left my chain
in Tibet, bye-bye ♪
♪ Everywhere an exit row ♪
♪ Got "Soul Plane"
stripper poles ♪
♪ Dad like, "Who your
contacts, boy?" ♪
♪ I shake hands with
so and so, make bands ♪
♪ Yeah, let's talk
about who you know ♪
♪ Your contacts ♪
♪ Let's talk about
who you know ♪
♪ ♪
♪ 'Cause I know everyone ♪
♪ Yeah, they pull up anywhere ♪
♪ It's 'bout to be hell a fun ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, let's go ♪
♪ Tell me who you know,
with me you drink for free ♪
♪ Tell me who you know,
we got our own tequilas ♪
♪ We will shake hands,
small talk, make plans ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Shoot, Luke Cage knows me ♪
♪ Auntie, Robert
Roberts knows me ♪
♪ Maile, Naruto knows me ♪
♪ Bro, the Wyld
Stallyns know me ♪
♪ Whoa ♪
- Good night, everybody.
- Good night.
[biscuit crunching]