Gilmore Girls (2000–2007): Season 7, Episode 14 - Farewell, My Pet - full transcript

You're looking good, dad.

I'd say you shaved a few
minutes off your last lap.

If I had to guess,

I'd think you're clocking in
at about a 45-minute mile,

which puts you just
behind Mrs. Abalone.

Lorelai, really.

I think that's an
unfair comparison.

Mrs. Abalone had her bypass
two whole days before mine.

No no, no excuses.
You just have to dig a little deeper.

Come on, grandpa, just visualize Mrs.
Abalone eating your dust.

- Rory, honestly.
- No, it's all right.

How's this?

Wow, I would say we have
a new slow-walk leader

in the cardiac-recovery wing.

Hey, do you hear that?

What, the crowd cheering?

Whoo! Yeah, grandpa!

Would you two stop?
You're making a scene.

Mr. Gilmore,
congratulations on your recent victory.

Any opinions about the
allegations of steroid use

among your fellow athletes?

I consider myself proof
positive that it can be done...

and done clean.

Richard, must you
encourage them?

Excuse me, Emily.

I'm getting a little stir
crazy in this place.

You'll be getting out
of here soon enough.

Oh, I forgot to tell you -- Kate and
Daniel Urman called to send
their regards.

Oh, hey, Mr. Gavelle.

Looking good, Ira.

They sent a lovely floral
arrangement to the house.

Although personally I find white
roses a little uninspiring.

I think my favorite arrangement is
still the one that Christopher sent.

It was very tasteful and
appropriate and so colorful.

I mean, we're not in mourning,
for heaven's sake.

I'm getting very tired of white flowers.
You thanked him for us?

Uh, yeah.
Hey, you know that young guy

who's been visiting miss
Santiago in room 236?

Not her son. Her boyfriend.

- No!
- Yes.

Girls, I don't think that's
any of our business.

But he's at least 20
years younger than she is.

- 32 according to the night nurse.
- 32?

He's just a boy. What could they
possibly have to talk about?

I don't think they're doing a lot of
talking, if you know what I mean.

I most certainly do
not know what you mean.

All right, that's enough.

Rory, when are you
heading back to Yale?

Yeah, you should
hit the road, huh?

Yeah. Remember,
you owe me a full report on the T.A.

that's taking over my spot.

The whole semester should
concentrate on microeconomics,

so if this Culbertson fellow
even mentions Ben Bernanke,

- give me a call.
- I promise I will.

But actually, I was thinking maybe
I'd hang out here with you guys

a little longer and
go back next week.

- What?
- Don't be silly, Rory.

- You're going back today.
- I've only missed two days.

Two days? That's plenty.

But it's just the
beginning of school.

It doesn't matter.
It's not a big deal.

It is a very big deal.
Plus, we already decided.

Yeah, but haven't you ever decided
something and then changed your mind?

Honey, listen,
everything is gonna be fine.

Grandpa's doing great.
There's no reason for you to stay.

What if he needs something?

Grandma has got
this place wired.

She's already slipped the nurses
something to keep the ice chips coming.

- Really, he's fine.
- Okay.

- What about you?
- What about me?

I don't want you to
have to go home alone.

Oh, I'm fine.

Yeah, but dad hasn't been home.

Well, he's with G.G.
at his mom's.

Okay, but for how long?

I don't know, honey.
He just said he needed some time.

How much time?

He didn't say.
Look, I've had my hands full here,

so I really didn't want to
get into it over the phone.

Do you want me to call him
and just see what's going on?

Absolutely not.

Well, what is his problem?
It was just a character reference.

Hey, don't worry about it.
It's between me and your dad.

We're gonna work it out, okay?

Okay.

"Okay" like you're
gonna go back to school

like our original deal?

I will go back to school.

However, for future reference,

the next time we have a conversation
where I say, "maybe friday,"

that does not mean that
we have struck a deal.

See, I remember you saying "absolutely,
definitely, positively friday."

Oh, so it's your
word against mine?

It's a classic case of she said,
she said.

Hi, Mrs. Santiago.

Her boyfriend, really?

She's got a nice butt.

- What?
- What?

It's the hospital gowns.
Believe me.

I wish I did not know that.

- You're back.
- I'm back.

Thanks for the call.

- Hey, how's your dad?
- Oh, he's great, thanks.

How was the Wilson wedding?
I can't believe she added 15 people

- at the last minute.
- I know, right?

It took us an hour to get
the extra rooms ready,

but we sent welcome baskets up like
you said, and everyone seemed fine.

- Even the mother-in-law?
- She was awful.

She's a beast.

- Hey!
- There she is!

So?

Well, he made his nurse go get him
a Wall Street journal this morning.

That's good!
That's a good sign!

Yeah, he's doing better.

And thanks for the cookies.
They were a big hit.

Oh, good. With these cravings,

all I feel like cooking is chili with
cayenne pepper and extra onions,

but I didn't think chili with cayenne
pepper and extra onions cookies

would go over well
with your parents.

Tell them it's exotic and expensive,
and they'll love it.

The little one has
a spicy palate, huh?

Yeah, except for the
cauliflower thing.

He or she has got a
huge cauliflower thing.

Also not a good cookie.
Oh, hi.

Hello, Lorelai. Welcome back.

Thanks. What's with the dog?

Why is that here?

I assume you're
talking about Paw-Paw.

I'm talking about the furry thing
that you know you're not supposed

to bring to work due to the fact
that many of our guests do not enjoy

finding dog hairs in
their lobster bisque.

I had no choice but to
bring him in today.

Paw-Paw could not
be left alone.

His brother Chin Chin
passed away last night.

Michel, I'm so sorry.

Paw-Paw is beside himself.

I'm really sorry, Michel.

You didn't even like him.

Sure, I did. That little guy!

You called him a
walking flea circus.

Chin Chin was a
wonderful dog, Michel.

Thank you.

Yeah. Remember at
the labor day picnic,

I dropped my sandwich,
and I was like,

"oh, great,
now I've got to clean this all up."

And Chin Chin just came
in and scooped it up,

and saved me that trip.

That was Paw-Paw.

What? No!

I was standing right there.

That was Paw-Paw who
ate your sandwich.

Chin Chin didn't
even like barbecue.

Oh, well, still.

Still what?! Are your two stinky
little children interchangeable?

Hey! Excuse me!

What Sookie means to say
and what I mean to say

is we're very sorry
for your loss.

Thank you, Lorelai.

He was always such
a sweet little dog.

What a personality. So warm.

Warm. Yes.
And, um, fuzzy and...

I just can't believe he's gone.

It doesn't feel real.
I miss him so much.

Well, you should have a
memorial or something.

Yeah, that's a good idea.

Oh. I suppose it is.

Yeah, it'll give you and
Paw-Paw a chance to say goodbye.

That might be nice.

Could you do it by tomorrow?

Me? What?

If you're going to put together
a memorial, it should be soon.

Uh... yeah, sure.
Tomorrow would be fine.

All right, that sounds fine.

Well, I guess I should get
started on the guest list.

There are so many people who
will want to pay their respects.

Paw-Paw. Come on.

Any objections to holding
a chow funeral, speak now,

although it's already too late.

Oh, it's a nice idea, though.
He was so upset.

I could have sworn the
sandwich dog was Chin Chin.

It was hard to tell the difference
between them. They were both so --

- Aloof.
- I was gonna say obnoxious.

That too.

I think Chin Chin was the one who
was aloof, obnoxious, and a biter.

That's right.

Oh, good. You're back.

Yeah, I'm back.

I went to the Sigma
Chi party without you.

I was going to wait,
but I didn't know when you'd be back,

so I decided to just
go ahead and do it.

Well, that's fine, Paris.

I know it's fine.

It was on the schedule.

What was I supposed to do,
stop my life because you were gone?

No, but I'm glad that you went.

That's great. How was it?

Asinine. You didn't
miss anything.

Here, I wrote a summary.

And here's your mail.
I flagged your bills.

Oh, thanks, Paris.

So, how are you?

Oh, I'm okay.

- And Richard?
- Oh, he's really good.

They're gonna keep him for another
night, then he should be able to
go home.

It was a myocardial infarction?

Yeah, a heart attack.

- Is he going on beta blockers?
- I don't know.

If he can tolerate them,
he should.

They reduce the risk of death
following a heart attack by about 25%.

Of course, he'll have to
implement a few lifestyle changes,

but you tell him if Bill Clinton can
give up cheese fries and pork grits,

he can get by without
his 5:00 martini.

I will pass that along.

Good.

Anyway, I'm glad he's okay.

Yeah, me too. That was scary.

I'll bet.

So, I downloaded your reading lists,
and I went to the bookstore

and hid copies of your books so you
wouldn't get stuck buying used ones

with some idiot's
comments in the margins.

And here,
I made you a copy of the notes

from our "History of feminism" seminar
since you missed the first class.

Oh, thanks, Paris.
What's with the blacked-out section?

I'm happy to share the things the
teacher said to the general public,

but I'm not about to share my
insights into the material.

Don't give me that look.

If there's one thing I
learned in that first lecture

it's there's not room for
many women at the top.

Gloria Steinem
would be so proud.

Whatever. The facts
speak for themselves.

Nadine Strossen is
the head of the ACLU,

not Nadine Strossen and
her very best friend.

Oh, we're supposed to choose
a paper topic by next friday,

but I'm sure you can swing an extension
if you play the grandfather card.

I will have a topic picked. I don't
need to play the grandfather card

because my grandfather is fine.

Okay.

So, are you ready to trade?

- Trade what?
- R?sum?s.

It's on the schedule.
We're supposed to trade r?sum?s today

and get back to each other by tomorrow
morning with questions or comments.

I forgot.

I've been at the
hospital for two days.

So much for not playing
the grandfather card.

No, there's no card.

I just mean that I haven't
gotten around to it.

I will get you my
r?sum? by tomorrow.

Fine. By "r?sum?" you
mean "r?sum?s," right?

How many do we need?

I have 21 versions,

each one tailored to a particular
job in a particular field --

grad school,
law school, med school,

fellowships, jobs
on newspapers,

jobs on the business
side of newspapers,

jobs working for
multimedia conglomerations,

jobs working for
"the little guy,"

jobs in the public sector, i.e.
internships in Washington,

for which there are three different
versions based on whether or not

I'm applying to work for a democrat,
a republican, or a Joe Lieberman.

Wow. When did this get here?

Yesterday. Anyway,
like I was saying,

it's important to tailor your
r?sum?s to your potential employers.

You think Harvard law school is
looking for the same skill set as Nasa?

Probably not. Funnily enough,

neither Harvard law school
nor Nasa are on my list.

So, I'll get you my
r?sum?s tonight.

Oh, look, it's from Logan --
second-semester senior survival kit.

There's a datebook
and a stress ball,

a magnetic poetry kit,
bags and bags of coffee beans,

something called an
inspirational marble keepsake

with the words "anything's
possible" engraved on it.

Don't worry.
I'll keep it in my room.

Oh! This is a beer funnel.

I saw one at the
party last night.

Logan, thank you.

You got the package?

Yeah, finally someone gave me
an inspirational keepsake.

Are you inspired?
Next year, baby, anything's possible.

Yeah, I hear you loud
and clear and heavy.

Good, because the
world is your oyster,

to quote the other inspirational
keepsake I was considering.

So how's it being back?
How are you doing? You doing okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Because if you want me
to come up tonight...

No, I'll see you on sunday.

Okay, but if you
change your mind...

You'll be here.

Logan, I cannot
thank you enough.

You've just been really great
throughout this whole thing.

No way.
You don't get to thank me for that.

It comes with the territory.

Rory, my 10:00
coffee just showed.

Go. I've got a 10:00
cereal waiting for me.

- I'll call you later?
- Sounds good.

- I love you.
- You, too.

What's with the gooney look?

Your face.
It's right out of a Harlequin romance.

He's just been so great.

I mean, he's really been there
for me for the past couple days.

I had to practically send him
away from the hospital yesterday.

I know. It's amazing. I never
thought you guys were gonna last.

- What?
- I'm just being honest.

Logan Huntzberger?

Between the women and the drinking, that
kid was on the Colin Farrell freeway

about to pull over into the
Robert Downey Jr. rest stop.

I get it, Paris.

What I'm trying to say is,
he's changed.

You changed him. It's amazing.

I'm rarely this wrong.

Well, thanks.

Don't get me wrong.

Doyle was quite the ladies' man,
as well.

Now, he's down for the count.

The other night, he wanted to play
"Let's think up baby names" in bed.

- Really?
- Yeah.

I mean, let's face it.
We took two wild stallions,

and we broke them.

I don't think I
really "broke" Logan.

Oh, you broke him.

You broke him hard.

You can open the gate,
and he's not going to bolt.

You can kick him with a spur,
and he's not going to spook.

You own him.

Paris, stop. That's ridiculous.

I think I'm gonna go
work on my r?sum?s.

Hey, let's make them go
out and get tattoos.

It'll be like we branded them.

It says here "12% sales
tax." And that is?

The percentage of sales tax the
state of Connecticut mandates.

I know. It's outrageous.

Harold, I've already
paid the bill.

And this is the room rate.

Times three nights. Yep.

Okay, and what is this charge for,
exactly, under room service?

That's... for the room
service that you ordered.

Would you like to
see an itemized copy?

- No.
- Yes.

That's it. I'm leaving.
Thank you for your patience.

No problem.

- Are you coming?
- Yeah.

Thank you. Bye.

- So, are you ready to talk?
- Oh, sure.

Let's go to the library.

Okay.

Please sit down.

Okay, I'm ready to hear
your ideas for the funeral.

Okay. Um... gosh, our ideas.

Well, we've got so many ideas.

So, so many.

Why don't you start with,
uh, the ideas?

Okay. Um, well,
first of all, we thought

- we'd put him in a box.
- A box?

- A bag?
- A bag?

Sorry, animal disposal is
not my area of expertise.

Chin Chin has been cremated
at the animal hospital.

After the memorial, his ashes will
be scattered under the poplar tree

behind my house where he
so often went to think.

Oh, okay. Cool.

A tree. That's nice.

Why don't you talk me through
the particulars of the event?

Right. Okay.

Well, we, uh,
thought we would have it here.

That sounds good.

- Okay. During lunch.
- During lunch?

- Or before lunch.
- Or after lunch.

Either way. Before or after lunch.
Doesn't matter.

Why must it relate
to lunch at all?

It doesn't have to. We were just
using lunch as a measure of time.

A way to break up the day.

Yes, totally arbitrary.

I was thinking twilight
might be nice.

Great. Well, then 5:00 it is.

That's a wonderful... idea.

Sookie, what else
was on our list?

Do you have yours with you?

I don't. Sorry.

I left mine with yours, so...

The flowers.

Oh, that was the first
thing on our list.

There will definitely
be flowers.

I was thinking gerber
daisies would be nice,

maybe in red, yellows,
oranges to complement his fur.

Done and done.

Can I trust you to
liaise with the florist?

I'll liaise with the florist.

Let's discuss the programs.

- The programs.
- You want programs?

Do you think when the Princess
of Wales was interred at Althorp

the Spencer family was asked
whether or not they wanted programs?

Probably not.

I assume there are no stationery
selections for me to choose from yet.

- Not yet.
- You know what, who cares?

Why don't we just
use fax paper?

And why not print them
out on the computer?

After all, it's just a dog.

Hey, Michel,
don't worry about the programs, okay?

We'll make up something
really nice for you.

Fine.

Here's the picture I'd
like to use for the cover.

Aw, well, isn't that cute?

Oh, yeah. Cute.

Shall we go over the menus?

Ah, the menus.
Well, Sookie, take it away.

Oh! Hey. Stay.

I'd love your input.

You've always let me know that when
it comes to food, you're the boss.

Well, you're the boss.

- Hi.
- Hi.

I guess we should talk.

I guess we should.

Crudit?s?

Not here. Come on.

If your child died,
would you serve crudit?s?

Hey, can my children
not be your go-to?!

Okay, go. Talk.

Well, obviously we
have some issues.

Issues? What issues?
We got in a fight and you took off.

- I was mad.
- Oh, you were mad.

Then never mind.
You should have left.

- Don't be sarcastic.
- Don't tell me what to do,

not when I wake up on the morning after
we have a fight and you've disappeared.

- I needed some space.
- Oh, you needed space?

We're married. You need space,
you walk around the block,

you go get a beer.
You don't take off.

My father was in the hospital.
You weren't there.

I turned my phone off after the fight.
I was upset.

I came as soon as I heard.

Yeah, you came and then you stayed
for an hour and then you left again.

I didn't feel like staying much
when I saw who else was there.

I didn't ask Luke to come.

You didn't ask him
to leave, either.

No, I didn't. He's my friend.

He brought food.
You weren't there!

I was there. I saw your dad.
I checked in.

"Checked in." I'm not
the 6:40 to Buffalo.

I'm sorry.
I'm sick of seeing that guy.

How do you think I feel?

For two days,
I'm in that hospital 18 hours a day.

I didn't even know if
you were coming back.

- I needed time.
- I needed you.

Lor...

You know what the
worst part of it was?

When you weren't there,
part of me wasn't surprised.

That's not fair.

I can't do this now.
I have a million things to get done.

I just -- I can't.

- So, when?
- I don't know. Later.

Okay. Well, then,
you're all set for the 16th.

- Hang on.
- Hanging.

Yes, sir.

Well, that's wonderful.
We're looking forward to it. Thank you.

Okay, bye.

Hi, hon.

Quick, get me into a
microeconomic mood.

Uh, okay. Supply and demand,
profit margin, pork bellies.

You had me till pork bellies.

You're going to grandpa's
class sans grandpa?

Yes, and I'm kind
of dreading it.

I only signed up for this class
because grandpa was teaching it.

I'm not naturally econ crazy.

Is anyone really econ crazy?

Oh, yeah.
First thing I learned last semester.

People find the gross national
product endlessly fascinating.

Weird.

Blew my mind.

So, how's your
re-immersion going?

Pretty good,
loving the non-fluorescent lighting,

although I miss eating my
meals out of a vending machine.

How are you doing?

Not bad.

Logan got me a marble plaque,
and Paris hid books. It was sweet.

All right,
must be a generational thing.

Must be. Any word from dad?
Latte, please.

Um... yes, actually.
He just came by the Inn.

- He did?
- A couple hours ago.

- What did he say?
- Oh, you know,

he said he's been
needing some space.

That's ridiculous.
He hasn't been home in two days.

He was upset about the letter, then he
saw Luke at the hospital, you know?

So what if he saw
Luke at the hospital?

He should have been
there for you.

He was. He came.

Yeah, but then he left.

Honey, look,
don't be mad at your dad, okay?

It's a complicated situation.

Mom, stop it.
I'm not Switzerland.

- What?
- I'm on your side.

I don't want you to take sides.

Look, I'm not a
kid anymore, okay?

I get to have an opinion,
and I get to pick a side.

And I'm on your side,
like it or not.

Okay.

It's not just because you're
right and he's wrong.

I'm on your side,
no matter what.

No matter what?

I mean, even if I cut off all your
hair while you were sleeping,

would you still be
on my side then?

Yep.

What if I signed you up for a
camping trip and made you go?

Even then.

What if I put a secret clause on
your birth certificate that says

when you turn 23,
your name changes to Hildegarde?

There's no such thing as a
birth-certificate clause.

- I had a really good lawyer.
- Even then.

Oh, good to know.

So, talk to me.
How are you feeling?

Oh, good. Fine. Medium.

You know, rare --
medium rare. Rare.

More like sashimi.

Yeah?

It's scary, you know?
Your dad, um...

tends to...

avoid conflict when
things get complicated.

Did you tell him that?
You should tell him that.

I did.

I mean, I tried.

I was mad.
I told him we'd talk later.

Well, you can call me
after you talk to him.

I'm sure you guys will work
everything out, but...

you can call me if
you need anything.

Yeah. I got you on speed dial.

Really? You programmed
your speed dial?

No. It's
metaphorically speaking.

I can dial really fast, though.

Got you.
Okay, I'm gonna run into class.

Okay, hon. Sounds good.

- Okay, peace out, yo.
- Bye, Hilde.

- Hey, Rory.
- Hey.

- Good to see you.
- Rory Gilmore?

Heard your name.
Just want to introduce myself.

Tucker Culbertson,
filling in for your grandfather

until he's well
enough to come back.

Well, hello,
professor Culbertson.

Thanks for the promotion.

I'm not a professor yet.
I'm just a T.A.

Oh. Uh, sorry --

not that you're a T.A.,
just that I called you --

- Um, I'm Rory.
- I know.

Right.

So, how's he doing?

Great. Thanks.

I'm glad.
I heard he's a terrific lecturer.

Oh, yeah, the best --

well, in my entirely
biased opinion.

I'm with you. I can't believe
this is his first year teaching.

He really put together a great syllabus.
I'm looking forward to getting into it.

Me too.

Well, it's nice to
meet you, Rory.

Yeah, well, good luck.

Oh, I mean,
not that you need it or anything.

Okay, bye.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Sorry I'm late.
It was busy at work.

That's okay.

I hope you don't mind.
I saw you were using three of them,

so I thought I'd program
your universal remote.

Thanks.

- Want some coffee?
- No, I'm okay...

- Unless you want some.
- No, I'm okay.

- So, uh...
- So, uh...

I've been thinking
about things, and...

you're right.
I shouldn't have taken off.

No, you shouldn't have.

But you got to understand,
Lor, that letter --

- Ugh. "Character reference."
- Whatever.

No, not whatever.

There's a big difference between a
letter and a character reference.

I had to write that stuff
for Luke for a judge

so he could get
custody of his kid.

- Don't do that.
- What?

Make me think this
is all in my head.

- It is!
- It's not!

- I see the way you look at him.
- Stop.

I chose you. I married you.

- It's not that simple.
- What else is there?

- Stuff! There's other stuff.
- Like what?

I got into a fight
with the guy, Lor.

What?

About a month ago at the gazebo,
I just walked up to him.

We started whaling
on each other.

Why wouldn't you tell me that?

It's not something
I'm exactly proud of.

This is what it's come to --
I'm fighting the guy in the street.

Isn't that the kind of thing
you would tell a person?

I mean, I could help.
I could have been more sensitive.

It's not just about
the fight, Lor.

I should have given you more time.
You asked me to.

I said I would. I didn't.

No, Chris.

You were vulnerable,
and I pushed you.

And I think it's because we
always had this timing issue.

We were too young,
and then Sherry got pregnant.

You were with him and --

I don't know.
I saw this opportunity, and I thought,

"now, we should do this now
while we have the chance,

while you're free and clear."
But you weren't. You're not.

Yes, I am!

You were engaged to him, Lor.
You needed time to -- to disengage.

Stop. That's not what this is.

We're together now.
Maybe we did rush into it,

but we can work this out.

I don't think we can.

What does that mean?

You're giving up?

I don't know what else to do.

There's lots else to do.
We can work on this.

Work on what?
Work on you thinking that I'm the man

you want to spend the
rest of your life with?

I've been asking you to marry me
for 20 years. We're finally married.

I still feel like
I'm asking you.

That's terrible.

I'm sorry if you feel that way,

if I made you feel that way.

That's not how I feel.
I'm in this.

I want to believe that.

You should. It's true.

Look, I should probably
get back to my mom's.

G.G.'s been there all day.

Yeah, you should be with her.
How is she?

She's fine. She's good.

So, we'll talk more tomorrow?

Okay. Yeah.

Lorelai, I specifically
sent out a memo

asking that all
pillows featuring cats

- be removed from the library.
- What?

The cat pillows --
they're still there!

Ah, yeah, I'll take care of it,
I promise.

- And you have to talk to Sookie.
- What about?

I asked her about
the final menu.

She said she didn't have it yet.
I said "when can I expect it?"

She said she wasn't sure. I said,
"might I ask what you are planning?"

And she said -- and I quote --

"let's see what's left over
at the end of the day,

and I'll whip up
something delicious."

Leftovers! Why even bother?

Is it too much to ask that
the passing of my beloved dog

be marked by food that has
been prepared specifically

with that occasion in mind?

I'm sure the food
will be wonderful.

Have you called
about the flowers?

- I was just about to.
- Lorelai.

Grayson's only needs
a 2-hour heads up.

At least do you have a
program for me to approve?

Uh, not yet, but I will.

- The funeral is tonight.
- I'm well aware of that.

- Then why has nothing been done?
- Plenty has been done.

No! Nothing has been done.
You are putting no effort into --

Michel, back off.

I happen to have a few other
things on my mind right now,

so forgive me if I haven't
put all of my energy

into focusing on
your dog funeral.

I apologize that my loss has come
at an inopportune time for you.

I will try to schedule
the next death

when it is more convenient.

Let's see -- "Gender trouble,"
Judith Butler. It should be here.

Are you sure this is
where you hid it?

Of course.
I had an aunt Judy who loved to travel,

hence the travel section.

Then I used my standard
covert alphabetizing system

using the third letter of
the author's last name, "T,"

followed by the third letter of
the author's first name, "D."

So it should be right here,
after Tabin but before Thoreau.

I don't understand
why it's not here.

Okay, I'm gonna go check the
women's studies section again,

see if I can find a used copy,
just in case.

Wait a minute.
This whole shelf is a mess.

Why is Congwen Shen
before Tony Griffiths?

Excuse me. You.

Come over here and
explain yourself.

Rory.

Oh. Hey.

- How you doing?
- Good, thanks.

I'm glad.
I wanted to thank you.

Seems you gave me a
pretty good evaluation.

What?

I got a call from
your grandfather.

I think he was
talking about class,

unless you happened to see the econ
grad students take out the comp.

Lit grad students in
ultimate frisbee.

Oh, right. I'm sorry.
I'm a little all over the place.

New semester, you know.

I just wanted to thank you.
It's always nice to get good feedback.

- No problem.
- See you around.

Okay.

That -- That's a good book.

- Which one?
- Um, "Eva luna."

Everyone loves "House of the
spirits," but I just think "Eva luna"

is Allende's best work.

Cool. I'm looking
forward to reading it.

Yeah, me too.

Oh, for you to read it.

I'll see you around.

Bye, Rory.

Where were you? The women's
studies section is over there.

Um, yeah, I was on my way.

The book's gone.

Apparently, they redid the travel
section and alphabetized it

according to destination
instead of author.

I ripped the salesman a new one,
but it was too late.

Hey. What's wrong with you?

What?

You're all red and blotchy.

Oh, am I?

It's probably just 'cause
I'm a bit warm in here.

So you found it?

No. Weren't you listening?

Here. It's used, but luckily,
the previous owner was a dimwit slacker

who only made it
through chapter one.

Oh, great.

That's good.

Flower delivery.

Kirk?

Oh, I didn't know you
worked for Grayson's.

Oh, no, I don't work there.
I'm volunteering.

How... noble.

Yeah, I just thought it was
time to give something back.

Here's your bill.

It's a little high because we
had to do a little airbrushing.

Small blemish on the nose.

Probably wasn't visible to the naked
eye, but when we blew the picture up --

- Wow.
- Sounds great.

I got stuff to take care of.
Bring the rest of the flowers in?

Sure thing.

I don't want to
embarrass you, but

it is customary to
tip the deliveryman.

I thought you
were volunteering.

Not for you.

Ask Rob at the front desk.
He's got the petty cash.

Hey, Christy,
will we see you tonight at the memorial?

- Actually, I don't think --
- Let me rephrase that.

We'll see you tonight at the memorial.
Attendance is mandatory. Thanks.

- How's the food coming?
- Hey!

I've got a walnut arugula
gorgonzola croustini,

a little caraway cornbread
with apricots, bacon,

and a little jalape?o jam,

beef tenderloin chiffonade
in little focaccia rounds,

and -- oh! --
sweet potato biscuits

with pork tenderloin and
a little apple chutney.

- Wow.
- Yeah.

Some of my finest work all
wasted on a dog funeral

and a petty little man.

Well, he said some
things he didn't mean.

You don't go after
someone's children.

He's going through a very rough time,
and he really will appreciate all
of this.

I know. I made him
some fat-free brownies, too.

I know. I'm a softy.

And the whole kitchen staff's
gonna be there, right?

Those who value
their jobs will be.

I pulled out my "don't
mess with me" face,

which I use on the
kids all the time.

I'll be damned if they don't
hop to and brush those teeth.

Good, I want a full house,
and if they have minty-fresh breath,

that's just a plus.

They'll be there --
not that Michel will say thank you

or modify his behavior in any
way to show that he's grateful,

but just so you know,
you're doing a really nice thing.

Well, thanks.
I feel bad about snapping at him.

You have a lot on your mind.
Want a brownie?

Mm, no, thanks.

Um, so,
I talked to Christopher.

Wait. Get out.

You're doing a
great job, though!

- Thanks. Sorry.
- Keep it up.

Go.

I talked to Christopher.
I was really mad.

But you were able
to work it out.

We're working on working it out.
He thinks I don't want to be in it.

He thinks that I don't even
want to be in this marriage.

- But you do, right?
- Of course I do.

Yeah, that's what I thought.

It's this Luke thing.

Christopher's jealousy
is blinding him,

and I've been racking my brain to
think of a way to convince him

that I twant to be
in this marriage.

And I think the only way is if I
cut Luke out of my life entirely.

No Luke at all.

No, I mean,
it wouldn't be that big a difference.

It's not like I see
him a lot as it is.

Well, that's true, although just
because you don't see him a lot

doesn't mean he's not a
big part of your life.

Eight months ago,
you were engaged to the guy.

I know. I try not to dwell on
that because I've moved on.

I-I married Christopher.

It's just that it's Luke.
You guys were together a long time.

I know.

You were friends for years
even before you were together.

And then, when you were together,
you were really together.

Yes. We were.

So all I'm saying is that
you broke up with Luke

and immediately started
dating Christopher.

And I know you're over it,
and I know you've moved on,

but all those feelings for Luke didn't
just disappear overnight, right?

That's what I'm saying.
Of course they didn't.

It's just,
you moved really quickly.

Yes, I moved quickly to a
man I love who loves me,

who wanted to marry me.

When Luke and I were together,
he was kind

and loyal and thoughtful.

The guy built me an ice-skating rink,
for god's sake.

God, I forgot about that.

But he was also distant
and uncommunicative,

and he didn't want to marry me.

And I tried everything
I could to work it out.

Of course I have
feelings for him.

That's what Christopher's
responding to,

and that's why,
in order to save my marriage,

the only thing I can do
is cut Luke out, right?

Right.

I'm sorry, it's just,
I have a but.

Yes?

If there were no Luke -- no Luke in
the past, no Luke in the picture...

Yeah?

Well, would it be Christopher?

Would he be "the one"?

I don't even know why we are
bothering to select music.

Why not just turn on the
radio and hope for the best?

Maybe we'll get lucky
and a hip-hop station

will be playing
Snoop Doggy Dogg.

Michel, come on.
I said I'm sorry.

We're gonna have a
beautiful ceremony.

Look, here's Zach. Hi, Zach.

Hey. Lorelai.

Hello, Michel.
I'm very sorry to hear about your loss.

It totally blows.

Thank you.

So, Zach's gonna do the
music for the ceremony.

I'm psyched, dude.
At first I was thinking mandolin,

but then I'm like, "whoa,
Zach, are you tripping?

It's got to be the
acoustic guitar."

A way more soulful sound.

Have you thought about the
music for the ceremony?

Yeah, I did --
vintage Bowie, originally recorded

with Herbie Flowers on bass,
Aynsley Dunbar on drums.

You know where I'm going?

"Diamond dogs"? Whoo-Hoo-Hoo!

# They call them
the diamond dogs #

# Bow-wow, woof woof,
whoo-hoo! #

That sounds great.

We didn't need a song
that necessarily had dogs

in the lyrics, right, Michel?

Whatever. David Bowie
sounds like a hoot.

More princess Diana, less dog.

So you want Elton John?

We were thinking very dignified --
Bach, Mozart.

- C?line Dion.
- Or C?line Dion.

Please don't make me do that.

After all, "My heart will go on"
was Chin Chin's favorite song.

Oh, well, then,
there you go, huh?

We'll just find, uh,
"My heart." "My heart belongs to daddy,"

"My heart belongs to me,"
"My heart belongs to you."

My heart can't
make up its mind.

How about "Tears in heaven"?
That's a wicked song.

Well, "My heart is
crying for you,"

"My heart is waiting,"
"My heart stood still."

People very interested in
this whole heart thing.

"I will always love you" --
it's got the cheese factor,

but it's still at
least a legitimate --

- "My heart will go on."
- Oh, good! They have it!

So you get working on that,
and, uh, we'll be moving on.

Okay, so,
we're all set with the music,

and the rest of the flowers should
be delivered in about an hour.

You got your suit from the cleaners.
All we have to do now

is stop by the printer's and
approve the layout for the program.

Actually, as long as we're here,
I think I'm gonna stop into Luke's.

Really? Why?

Do you remember last year when that
troupe of mimes took over the Inn?

It was a very stressful time for me,
guessing at what they wanted,

watching to see what they were pointing
at so I knew what to fetch them.

When they finally left,
I needed a bit of comfort,

so I stopped at Luke's
and I bought a hamburger.

- You didn't.
- I know.

It was a moment of insanity.

Thank god by the
time I got home,

I had already calculated that
it would take me 55 minutes

of medium-intensity interval training on
my elliptical machine to work it off.

Thought better of the whole thing and
dumped the foul thing in the trash.

Close call.

Yeah, extremely.
Unfortunately, Chin Chin,

being the little rascal that he was,
fished it out of the garbage.

After all the exotic dog
food I lavished on him --

homemade biscuits,
fresh-ground lamb --

It was this burger that he
seemed to enjoy the most.

And today,
I will eat one in his memory.

Well, what a sacrifice.

Uh, go on in.
You get your burger.

I'll get started
at the printer's.

Sounds good.

- Wish me luck.
- Good luck.

What are you doing here?!

Aw, I couldn't
wait till sunday.

What's that look?

Oh, Paris calls it my
Harlequin romance face.

Come on in!

Where is the infamous
miss Geller?

Now? Let's see.

This afternoon, she is belly dancing
with the Yale Belly Dance Society

at the Payne Whitney gym.

Wow, how'd you get out of it?

I'm supposed to be at a wrestling match.
We're supposed to trade notes later.

Use the term "half nelson."

I'll use the term "whole
nelson." I'm not afraid.

Yeah, don't do that.

Logan, um,
I have to talk to you.

Sure, what's going on?

Well, uh, maybe let's sit.

Yeah, come on. Sit down.

Okay.

Okay. Um...

This is hard for
me to bring up,

but, um, because of the whole
thing that happened with Marty,

I just wanted to tell
you about it now

so that you don't think
this is a big deal.

Or, actually, maybe it is a big deal.
I don't know.

That's why I want to
talk to you about it.

What's going on?

Well, maybe it's just human nature.
Maybe we don't want to be happy.

You're not happy?

No, that's not what I'm saying.
I'm so happy.

Okay, good,
so what's the problem?

Um, I don't know. I never thought of
myself as a self-destructive person before,

but I don't know, maybe I do have
this weird self-sabotaging streak.

What are you talking about?

Well, the grad student who's
filling in for my grandfather --

I guess he's kind
of good-looking.

And I ran into him at the bookstore,
and I told him I liked Isabel Allende,

and it was disgusting!

You told him you
like Isabel Allende?

But it was the way I said it.
I was all nervous and weird.

I googled him after class.
I don't know even know why.

You're being so perfect,
and I'm turning into this monster.

- You're not a monster.
- No, I am. I am.

I think I got so safe
and felt so good with you

that I let my guard down,
and this beast emerged.

Hey, make up your mind.
Are you a beast or a monster?

- Logan.
- What?

It sounds like you have
a crush on this guy.

I'm so sorry.

Why are you looking
at me like that?

It's just a crush.

You're not upset?

I'd be a hypocrite, because I have on
occasion found other girls attractive.

Yes, I know.

But I would never do anything
about it because I love you

and want to be with you.

That's good, I guess.

- You guess.
- No, it is good.

It's just, did I break you?

What?

Paris said that I broke you,
that if I kicked you with my spurs,

you wouldn't spook.
Is that true?

No, I'd definitely
be a little spooked.

- You know what I mean.
- I honestly don't.

I guess she meant that you
belong to me or something.

Well, do you belong to me?

Yeah, I guess I do.

Well, then I'm cool with that.

- You are?
- Yeah.

This whole thing is my fault.

- What? Why?
- I was a jerk about Marty.

I overreacted,
and I obviously freaked you out so much

I made you think you have to tell me
when you recommend a book to a guy,

and you don't, okay?

Yeah, okay.

Because I trust you completely,
and I'm not worried about us.

Yeah, I guess I'm not either.

It's weird.

But good weird?

Great weird.

- Can I ask you a question?
- Yeah. Anything.

Has Paris ever
belly danced before?

No, I think this is
her first class.

- Another question?
- Shoot.

Why the hell aren't we
over there watching her?

Yeah, we should.

- Hi.
- Hey.

How was the funeral?

Sad.

- It's not just Luke.
- Lor...

I mean, you were right.

There are feelings there,

because...

When that ended, I just jumped.

I pushed you.

I jumped.

But if that's all there was --

If that's all it was,

we could fix it, you know...

with time.

But it's not.

You've always been this...
possibility for me...

...this wonderful possibility.

But it's just not right.

And I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

Yeah.

I guess I should
have known, huh?

It took me 20 years to
get you to say yes.

I need you to know...

that you're the man...

I want to want.

I know.

You have no idea...
how badly I wish...

I do.

I do know.

I do.