Gilmore Girls (2000–2007): Season 7, Episode 13 - I'd Rather Be in Philadelphia - full transcript
Lorelai and Rory receive unexpected comfort and some grief while at the hospital and at Richard's side: Christopher won't return Lorelai's calls, but Luke is there for her and the family; Emily is so distraught that she tries to distract herself by maintaining her rigorous social calendar, with Luke offering to help her out in keeping up her appearances; Rory is met by Logan, who flies to the hospital in a helicopter; and, when Christopher finally does arrive, he speaks the words of sympathy to Lorelai, but his emotions betray him: he's still mad at her from their fight and he can't respect her when she needs him the most. Suffice it to say, Emily is far from impressed upon witnessing Christopher treat Lorelai so poorly.
Previously on "Gilmore Girls"...
"Once Luke Danes
is in your life,
he is in your life forever."
Obviously you still have very
deep feelings for the guy.
As you know, this course...
will take a specific look at...
processes and determinants...
- Tell me you're not in love with him.
- I'm not in love with him.
And if you don't take this very
seriously, then this whole thing
could fall apart faster than
you could possibly imagine.
And he'll be gone,
and you'll be alone again.
I can't be your rebound.
I'm sorry.
Christopher?
- Ooh! What is that?
- It's just my phone.
Holy smoke! I don't know
what I thought that was --
some alarm on your
pants or something.
No, that's not my pants alarm. The
pants alarm sounds more like a siren.
You want to answer that?
Should we put this down?
That's okay. I'm afraid if we put
it down, we won't pick it up again.
Oh, this is gonna be good,
what with this one here
and the two palms,
oh, boy, Morey's eyes are
gonna pop out of his head!
Why? Does he find plants
particularly startling?
- I'm making a jungle.
- A jungle?
- For the bedroom.
- Ugh! Enough said.
- Hey, is that your inside phone?
- Yeah, I'll call them back.
So, anyway, I got this negligee
with sort of a snake pattern.
Oh, boy! Is this heavy!
It is. It is. I'm sorry, doll.
I wasn't hoping that you
would lug this with me.
I was planning on
asking Christopher.
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah.
I haven't seen him much lately.
Well, his work keeps him busy.
What's he do -- something with
computers? Very mysterious.
Yeah, he's a man of mystery.
You know who's a man
of mystery? Morey.
After decades in the bedroom,
who would have thought
that the idea of dressing up like a
howler monkey would be such a turn-on?
Right. I'm gonna get this,
Babette. Hello?
Rory?
Honey, what's wrong?
Oh, no.
On my way.
Sorry, Babette!
Morey!
Excuse me, miss.
Is that your phone?
Oh. Um, sorry.
H-Hello?
- Hey.
- Hey.
- I'm here.
- Good.
- Where are you?
- I'm here. I'm in the waiting room.
Uh, okay.
I must be in the wrong waiting room.
I'm not in the E.R. anymore.
I'm in the cardiac intensive-care unit,
the C.I.C.U.
That's where I am, I think.
First floor?
First floor.
There's a red stripe
on the floor.
It's kind of orange here.
- Orange?
- Reddish-orange, so maybe.
Well, yeah, orangey red.
Maybe the lights make it look more red.
- Oh. Hi.
- Hey.
Um, they're doing tests,
so that's where he is --
blood tests and another E.K.G.
They did an E.K.G. in the ambulance, but
I guess they're still trying to determine
how much damage was actually
caused by the heart attack.
But that's definitely what it was.
It was a myocardial infarction,
which is a heart attack.
I guess the E.K.G. tells them how
bad the blockage of his arteries is
and what degree of
coronary-artery disease he has,
or C.A.D.,
as they're calling it,
because, apparently, everything is --
what do you call it?
An anagram? What's the thing
with the letters? Acronym.
The C.A.D.,
C.I.C.U., the E.K.G.
Mom, it was awful.
He just fell down.
It's gonna be okay.
Hi, Chris, it's me again.
Uh... I'm at the hospital now,
and, um, it was a heart attack,
but dad's okay.
He's just getting some tests.
So, um... we're in the C.I.C.U.
at John Skinner medical center.
It's on the first floor, and there's
a red stripe running down the hallway.
Just please call me when you get this,
okay? Thanks.
Well, my brain wasn't up to
choosing between things,
so I got one of everything.
You do me proud.
So, grandma's on her way.
I didn't talk to her,
but the girl at the club
said she's en route.
Oh, okay. And what about dad?
Oh, he's probably... en route.
Hmm. Is everything okay?
Yeah, I don't think he's
gotten my messages yet,
but he'll be here when he does.
Okay.
Well... what is your pleasure?
Well, let's see.
Uh... nothing sweet,
I don't think.
No? A salty thing?
A fluorescent-orange
ersatz-cheese thing?
I guess I'm not hungry.
Yeah, me neither.
I keep thinking this is
all just a nightmare.
- I know.
- But it's not.
No. I mean, it's a nightmare
but not a nightmare nightmare.
I know 'cause I have shoes on. In my
nightmares, I never am wearing shoes.
- I didn't know that.
- Yeah, yeah.
It's the worst thing in the dream, too.
I could be chased by snakes
or in a nuclear explosion,
but then I look down,
and, "oh, my god!
I'm not wearing shoes!"
I wonder what that means.
Probably means I have a fear
of hurting my bare feet
or of losing my shoes.
Not so freudian, huh?
For me, a snake is just a snake,
a slingback is just a slingback.
Gilmore?
Hi. I'm Dr. Goldstein.
- You're Richard Gilmore's family?
- Yes. Is he okay?
He's doing all right.
He's conscious, cogent,
and not in
significant pain now.
- Oh, good.
- Good.
We just sent him to the cath
lab to get an angiogram.
After that,
we should be able to get a better sense
of what kind of blockage
is around his heart
and then we'll be able to figure
out where to go from there.
- Where would we go?
- Uh, pardon?
I mean, where --
where would we go?
Well, if the blockage
is more serious,
we will have to consider an
emergency bypass surgery.
Okay.
I promise to let you know as soon as
we get the results from the cath lab.
- Try not to worry.
- No, not worried.
Just normal amount of worried for
someone whose father's had a heart attack,
but not excessively worried.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Thank you, doctor.
I'll see you in a little bit.
- Have you seen him?
- Oh, hi, mom.
No, not since he
was in the E.R.
Where is he?
The doctor came out and said he's in
the cath lab, getting an angiogram.
He's gonna let us
know when he's done.
- Nonsense.
- No, it's true.
He said he would come back
when he had the results.
I'm Emily Gilmore.
I would like to see my husband.
Let's see.
What is your husband's name?
Gilmore! Richard Gilmore!
I'm his wife,
and I would like to see him now.
I'm sorry, he's in the cath lab
right now, getting an angiogram.
The doctor will come find
you as soon as they're done.
There's no need to
be cheery about it.
Honestly, someone with your chipper
personality ought to be a weather girl
or a preschool teacher.
I'm sorry you feel that way.
Oh, please. Don't mope.
What happened to all
the competent people?
That's what I'd like to know.
Was there some giant
hole they all fell into
or a virus that
struck them all down,
leaving the morons of the
world to sit behind the desks?
Mom, wouldn't you like to sit down,
have a nice cup of tea?
I don't want a cup of tea.
What I want
is the most perfunctory level
of competence from the people
with whom I interact. That apparently
is far too much to ask for.
- Grandma, we have snacks.
- Yes, mom, snacks.
We have salty snacks
and sweet snacks
and sweet/salty hybrid snacks.
Even at the club, I'm telling you,
the young men and women that work there
must have a combined I.Q.
of a grapefruit.
You ask them for a towel,
and they look at you with
the most vacant eyes.
I'm telling you, I thought the
girl at reception was blind
the entire first month
she worked there --
blind, but very enthusiastic
about the application of eyeliner.
Sounds pretty.
My husband has a heart attack,
and how long does it
take them to find me?
40 minutes.
The nitwit probably got lost between
the front desk and the tennis courts.
I'm sorry, Grandma,
that sounds terrible.
I mean, none of this would have
been a problem if I'd been allowed
to keep my cellphone. But no.
Cellphones have been banned allegedly
because of noise pollution.
If that's the reason,
they should ban John Abbott.
Because I'm telling you,
every time that man hits a ball,
he grunts like a rutting hog.
He's twice as loud
as my cellphone.
They won't even let you leave your
cellphone on vibrate. It's preposterous.
I mean, what do they think we're doing,
making drug deals?
I doubt that's it.
Which, by the way,
are absolutely, 100% taking place.
I saw Devorah Inwood
handing Cardum Kelly
a small,
blue pill in the ladies' locker room
while they made shady
eyes at each other.
Drug deals at the club?
Mom, I don't think so.
Absolutely. The whole
place is going to the dogs.
Oh, and now apparently, they want
to start charging us for meals,
on top of the king's ransom we
pay in dues. It's appalling.
The very idea of charging extra
for the junk they serve there.
Oh, and you know
what really irks me?
They very rarely serve fish.
That's terrible,
especially for people who love fish.
In a way,
it's their fault that Richard's here.
Mom, what do you mean?
2 1/2 months ago,
I read an article that said
fish has been shown to prevent
heart attacks and stroke
and has innumerable
other health benefits.
Hey.
It's the omega-3 fatty acids --
that and the fact that it's an
incredibly lean source of protein.
So I immedialety had the
maid cut out the article
so I could show it to Richard.
And he agreed to eat more fish,
but he said not for dinner.
My spineless
kitchen staff caved.
Emily, Lorelai, I'm so sorry.
How are you holding up?
We're holding.
Logan, it's so good
of you to come.
Is there anything I can do for you?
Could I get you a cup of tea, maybe?
I just asked.
She doesn't want tea.
I would love a cup of tea.
That's very kind of you.
I'm on a tea hunt, then.
That's a fine young man,
Rory --
very sweet, very considerate.
I like him.
He's one of the good ones.
Lorelai, where's Christopher?
Oh, he's on his way.
From where?
Um, uh... Dr. Goldstein.
I'm Emily Gilmore.
Good. I'm glad you're here.
The blockage is worse
than we'd hoped.
I think the best
course of action --
really the only
course of action --
is to do an emergency
bypass surgery.
Open-heart surgery?
Let him finish, Lorelai.
We'd like to go into
surgery as soon as possible.
So, now would be the time if
you'd like to visit with him.
Yes. Yeah,
we'd like to see him.
If you'll follow me please.
Feel free to ask me any
questions you might have.
Are you the one who will
be performing the surgery?
Yes, along with a team.
I'll be the chief surgeon.
Where did you go to school?
I'm sorry?
- You did attend school, didn't you?
- Mom.
No, it's okay.
Yes, I got my B.A. at Yale.
I went to medical
school at Harvard.
I did my residency at
Columbia Presbyterian
before I became chief of
cardiothoracic surgery here.
- See?
- See what?
Here we are.
I'll let you visit.
A nurse will be by shortly to
begin prepping Richard for surgery.
Thank you, doctor.
And I watched his hands closely.
They're steady as a statue's.
Oh, and, Richard,
he's Yale undergrad,
Harvard medical school.
You don't say.
Well, if he does a good job,
I'll forget the Harvard part.
I'll write that off as
a youthful indiscretion.
This room is rather intimate.
It's just fine, Emily.
I promise you.
Now, Rory, I'm sorry I gave
you a scare in class today.
No, don't be silly.
I'm just glad you're okay
and that you're gonna be
more okay after the surgery.
Thank you.
Are you okay, dad? I mean, how are
you feeling, considering everything?
You okay? You look okay.
Well, all in all,
I think I'd rather be in Philadelphia.
- Ronald Reagan.
- Quoting W.C. Fields.
- Oh, I didn't know that.
- It would be great time now.
Winter in Philadelphia is a great
time to see the Liberty Bell
and the cream cheese.
That's all I got on Philadelphia.
Lorelai.
Well, the cheesesteaks --
the Philly cheesesteaks.
Lorelai, please. Richard,
is your neck getting enough support?
It looks like you
need another pillow.
I don't know.
I think it's all right.
I got it, mom.
I can take care of it.
- I'm just handing you a pillow.
- I don't want that pillow.
- What's wrong with that pillow?
- It doesn't have a pillowcase.
Yes, it does. What's this?
It's a pillowcase.
Yes, it has one pillowcase.
It should have two pillowcases
one facing each ways,
so the pillow is never exposed.
Now I have to ring for a pillow.
Mother, we have a pillow right here, why--
Tucson.
- What?
- Tucson is extremely hot,
and it has a dry climate that doesn't agree with me,
and I really don't think much of the way they dress out there.
And I have a deep aversion to cacti of all kinds.
And yet Tucson is a place where I think I would rather be.
Anywhere but here, right, dad?
Although, it's awfully dry.
And so hot.
And you're right about the fashion -- ponchos and all that turquoise.
Oh, and men in sandals. Spare me.
So, how's it going there, Zach?
Aces. Pastrami on rye --
mustard, no mayo.
Cheeseburger --
swiss, double pickles, fries.
If you need anything else,
just holler.
My name's Zach, and, uh...
I'll be your waiter.
- So you holding up okay?
- Oh yeah.
I tell you, I was not looking forward
to this filling in for Lane deal.
So I was all, "oh no",
and then she's like,
"it's either this, or you fill in
during the whole childbirth deal."
Which would probably be
a bit more difficult.
Yeah, right.
Handing out food is cake
compared to having a human being
come out of you -- no offense.
None taken.
You're doing a good job.
Oh, man, I got to tell you,
it's been great.
I mean, it's been enlightening.
Like, in the past,
I was the one sitting at the table,
and now I'm the one with
the notepad and the pencil.
- You're on the inside.
- It's cool.
Don't let the power
go to your head.
No kidding. You know what
was freaking me out before?
I'm about to hand people the
food they're going to eat,
and I could do anything to it,
and they would have no idea.
I mean, they would just eat it.
Not that I would, of course,
but it's just intense.
Plus, everything
smells so good.
I can see why Lane
digs this job.
Well, your enthusiasm
is appreciated.
Right on.
Hey, you have another rag?
Cool.
Hey, Luke?
Hey, Babette.
What can I get you?
You still stocking the
jungle with snacks,
whatever that means?
Luke, I got to tell
you something.
Or, I don't know if I got to,
but I want to.
It's not that I want to
like it's a good thing.
Lorelai's dad had
a heart attack.
- Oh, my god.
- Rory called Lorelai
- and I was there.
- Is he okay?
Well, he's not -- he's okay...
I think... right now.
They're at John Skinner,
and I don't know... that's all I know.
Oh, my god.
Yeah, I-I thought you
would want to know.
Yeah, yeah, thanks.
All right. Well, I'm gonna go.
Yeah. Thanks.
You know what it's like?
Working here is like having
a backstage pass at a show.
It's all-access, man.
Right. Right.
Hey, it's me again.
I don't know if you
got my other message.
We're still here at the hospital,
and, uh...
dad's gonna have surgery.
He's having a coronary
bypass pretty soon.
I just came from his room,
and, um...
he doesn't look bad, you know?
He looks okay, considering.
But, uh... he's lying down.
He just -- just looks so small.
It just made me
think of this time.
There was a tree in our
yard I would always climb,
and one day, I climbed up really,
really high.
Dad came home from work. I watched
him go into the house, and I thought,
"he looks so small."
It was so strange to
see him look like that.
Anyway, I should go, but, uh...
call me when you get this, okay?
Bye. Hello?
How are you? How is everything?
What can I do?
Oh no, it's okay. I'm okay.
Dad had a heart attack,
and he's gonna have surgery.
But I guess it's a pretty
common operation, so...
And how are you?
I'm okay, considering.
- What can I do?
- Oh, nothing, hon. I'm fine.
Can I send you anything?
I made lemon bars
and, ooh, pecan squares,
and I packed them up
and I'm sending them over
with Katie right now.
Oh, that was so sweet.
Is that Lorelai?
Yes. Her dad's in surgery,
but he's fine.
- How is Rory doing?
- Rory's doing fine, thanks.
- Tell Lorelai I say hello.
- Michel says hello.
- Tell Michel I said hello.
- She says hello.
Tell Lorelai that I am thinking of
her father and wishing him well.
He says he's thinking of your
father and wishing him well.
- Tell Michel "thank you."
- She says "thank you."
Tell Lorelai that the Zimmermans in
room 4 are not a married couple,
as we had thought,
but rather a brother and a sister.
No, I'm not telling Lorelai that.
She's in a hospital.
Tell her they requested a rollaway bed,
and we do not have any rollaway bed left.
I am not talking to Lorelai
about rollaway beds.
Tell Lorelai that the Zimmermans
are very demanding, and very big,
and they need a bed!
Tell Michel that the Murrays
are checking out at 3:00
and he can use the rolloway
bed from their room.
She says you can take the
rollaway bed from the Murrays.
They're checking out at 3:00.
Ahh! Very good.
Tell her "thank you."
He says "thank you" and
apologizes for being such a pest.
Tell her I miss her here very,
very much!
Well, then don't stick us in
the back corner next time.
Oh, you did,
you absolutely did, Anthony.
I was so close to the kitchen,
I could have reach
and gotten my own plate
without standing up,
just stretched out my arm
like Rubberman, and...
No, no, I'm just kidding.
So, tell me,
what's your special tonight?
Sea scallops? Oh, you're torturing me,
Anthony, torturing me.
Well, give my love
to your wife.
Oh, I will.
Oh, just one of those
last-minute business trips.
All right, then. Bye-bye.
Somebody's very
chipper on the phone.
Somebody should consider a
career as a weather girl.
Oh, please, I've spent years cultivating
my relationship with the maitre d'
at Persephone's. I'm hardly about to
let it go down the drain in one night.
"Call Persephone's" -- done.
We're missing the sea scallops.
Persephone's does the most
wonderful job with seafood.
I wish we'd eaten there more often.
It's such a shame.
They make a cedar-plank
salmon that is --
I don't know if
you like salmon.
No, but I love a nice,
juicy cedar plank.
Salmon is one of the best fish
in terms of the omega-3s.
It's absolutely marvelous for you,
and it makes your skin positively glow.
Beauty tips are not really big on my
list of priorities right now, mom.
So I tell Paris,
"I don't care if it would
theoretically increase my chances
of getting a grant
to study in Russia.
I am not willing to pretend to be
an accomplished rhythmic gymnast."
How do you pretend to be a
rhythmic gymnast, anyway?
I don't even know.
Do you whirl around some ribbons?
Balance a ball on your nose?
She's taking the idea of our impending
graduation with a pinch of total insanity.
- Logan you should answer that.
- Nah.
But it's practically buzzing off
the table. Really, I don't mind.
- I'll text them back in a minute.
- But you need to --
Rory, right now, I don't need to do
anything but be right here with you.
Well, are you sure?
Aren't people gonna be mad
you're not answering your phone?
Then that's their problem.
You know who's gonna
be mad at me? Paris.
Because right now,
I'm missing a G.R.E. prep course
and tea with the
Branford librarian.
I imagine she'll understand.
Paris?
Maybe you better start
balancing a ball on your nose.
I need to cancel
Richard's tennis match.
I guess I'm not gonna make
it to my book club tomorrow.
Just as well --
I haven't even cracked the cover.
Whatever gives Suzanna Shaw
the idea that the rest of us
share her barbaric interest in
Cormac McCarthy is beyond me.
Now let's see.
I need to return the Dean's call, and --
Oh, no. Not him again.
What's he doing here?
I don't know.
Hey. I was just in the diner.
Babette came and told me
your dad had a heart attack.
I swear, I didn't even know
what I was doing.
I just walked right out the
diner and drove straight here.
Now that I'm here,
I realize I might be in the way,
but if there's anything I can do,
I want to do it.
- Uh... well --
- Hi, Luke.
- Hey, Rory, Logan.
- Want some coffee?
No, I'm okay. Thanks very much.
Look, I don't want to cause
any kind of weirdness here.
I mean,
I don't want to make him feel --
Christopher actually isn't here yet,
but he will be any second, so...
Okay, I'll just
get out of here.
Thanks. There's just
not much for you to do.
Oh, yes, there is, absolutely.
There is plenty for you to do, Luke.
You can drive to the Yale campus
and pick up Richard's car.
- Mom, he can't do that.
- No, it's no problem.
I'm not exactly sure where it's parked,
but it shouldn't be hard to find.
Just check the faculty parking lot
and wherever else they have parking.
It's a 2006 Jaguar. It's green.
Oh, and I think it's a little low
on gas, so if you wouldn't mind
filling the tank, on the way back
to the house, that would be great.
Okay. Sure.
- Okay, I'll get the key.
- Mom...
Is he supposed to just drive the
car to the house, and then what,
then take a cab all the way
back to Yale to get his truck?
- I have no objection to that.
- Seriously, it's no problem.
See? Now fill it with premium,
not whatever sludge they try
- to pass off as regular.
- Premium, you got it.
You do know how to drive
a european car, don't you?
- Mom.
- Absolutely. Don't worry.
There's nothing to yank.
It's a Jaguar, not a lawn mower.
Oh, my god!
Just leave the
key with Soledad.
And... here.
You can keep the change.
Emily, thanks, really,
it's my pleasure.
If you insist.
If you don't mind terribly,
I need someone to make sure that the
path to the front door is shoveled.
Mother, stop.
Hello?
Oh, hello.
You got my message about the fish.
Sorry. We're all a little...
She read an article about how
fish can prevent heart attacks.
Now she thinks it's
the key to everything.
Well, fish is good.
Yeah.
All right, I should get going.
Okay. Well, thanks.
Yes! Goodbye!
Another incompetent.
Lorelai, go get Luke back.
I need him to bring a
check for the fish man.
Mom, I'm not getting Luke.
He's done enough already.
Why don't you reschedule the
fish man for later in the week.
Because this is important.
It's important to have fish
at the house right now?
Logan and I can go meet the fish
man with a check if you want.
Oh, that would be marvelous.
Okay. I also want to get some of grandpa's
stuff so he has it when he wakes up.
- Wait, I'll do that.
- Do what?
You pay the fish man,
and I'll get grandpa's stuff.
Oh mom, that's silly.
They're in the same place.
Yes, but then we'll both have a job.
You have a job and I have a job.
Yeah, but going to
grandpa's is one job.
Somebody needs to stay here
and look after grandma.
Fine.
- I mean, if you really want --
- No, she's my mother.
- Well, you're my mother.
- Exactly. It's a tangled web.
Here you go, Logan.
Now have him put the salmon,
the swordfish, the king mackerel,
and the tuna in the
downstairs freezer
and the trout, sea bass, snapper,
and bluefish in the butler's pantry.
Salmon, swordfish,
king mackerel, tuna downstairs.
Trout, sea bass, snapper,
bluefish upstairs.
If you rode in the ambulance,
you and I don't have a car here.
Take it before I change my mind.
Level 3.
Thanks. Bye.
Bye. I'll be here doing my job.
How come you don't have a car?
Well, I came by
chopper, actually.
Chopper motorcycle or
chopper helicopter?
Helicopter.
- You came here in a helicopter?
- Yep.
Oh, I do need to call Quentin. I wonder
if they have a fax machine here.
And I'm hungry. Are you hungry?
I don't know. Probably.
I should be. Don't feel hungry.
All right. Then we should get something
to eat. But first, I want to see
if those addled nurses will allow
me to use their fax machine.
Hello?
Lorelai, it's me -- Babette.
- How you doing, sweetie?
- Oh, hey. I'm okay.
What's the news with your dad?
Well, he's in surgery right now,
but we think he's gonna be okay.
Oh, yeah, I'm sure.
Don't you worry about a thing.
He's a very vital man, your dad --
lots of chi, you know?
Oh... really?
I didn't know you noticed his chi.
Are you kidding me?
Prana, chi, life force --
whatever you call it,
your daddy's got it in spades.
Sexy men like him often do.
That's what makes them so sexy.
- They're ripe with life.
- O-kay.
- He's gonna be fine.
- Thanks, Babette.
He's like Warren Beatty, your dad --
or Sean Connery
or -- who's that one
I always found so sexy?
The evil politician with the glasses --
Henry Kissinger!
Oh, yeah, I know him.
You might not agree with his politics.
You might have lived through Vietnam
and thought,
"that man is the devil,"
but you can't deny he's sexy.
You know why? Chi.
I get it. So, how's Paul Anka?
Oh, yeah, he's great,
just great.
What's wrong?
- I don't want to bother you.
- Go ahead.
Oh, nothing to worry about.
It's just...
I'm afraid his
bladder's gonna explode.
I can't get him
to come with me.
I'm sure he needs to relieve himself,
but it's a no-go. He's a no-go.
Oh Babette, I should've told you,
he's probably afraid of the porch steps.
You just have to lay
something down for him.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
Wow! Yeah,
that worked great. Wow.
He's got some chi of his own,
this one.
- Ooh. Only problem is...
- What?
Nothing, nothing. It's just a little
cold without my coat, that's all.
Not your concern.
So, sweetie, if you need anything else,
you'll call me?
- Okay, I'll call you.
- Okay.
Give my love to your father.
I will, Babette.
Hey, thanks for calling.
Oh, sure thing, hon. Bye.
Uh-huh, right.
No, it's not a problem. It's perfectly
understandable. So from there,
you wanna take a right on Sycamore,
left onto old Sawbrook, and then...
That's right.
No, I mean a left into the driveway.
I mean that's correct --
making a left.
I mean, a left is the correct choice.
Right.
That's correct, I mean.
Okay, great. Great.
We'll be here. See you soon.
Sounds like Abbott and Costello got
nothing on you and the fish man.
You liked the "right/right" business?
It could use polish,
but me and the fish man have
plans to bring back vaudeville.
Oh, I'm gonna book the Palace
Theater. Logan and the fish man.
- The fish man and Logan.
- He gets top billing?
He's the one who can juggle.
Anyway, so the snow delayed him,
but he should be here in 15 minutes.
Okay, I think your Blackberry
is going to explode.
It's business stuff --
nothing that can't keep.
Business stuff, huh?
Business stuff that has to do
with the chopper you flew in on?
We don't have to
talk about it now.
Oh, come on, I'm interested.
I want to know.
And also,
I could really use the distraction.
Besides, I want to make sure
you haven't stolen a chopper.
I didn't steal it. It was loaned
to me by a hedge-fund manager.
Ohh, well...
I was at his country home in Montauk
when you called, and he just...
Loaned you his chopper,
as they say.
Pretty much.
Well, I think loaning
someone your chopper
is a sign of trust
in many cultures.
That sounds like a good sign.
Yeah, I think it
is a good sign.
So, come on.
What do you need funding for?
Just tell me something.
I don't want to be nosy,
but I'm really interested.
Come on. Come on.
Okay, you asked for
it so here it goes.
I want to buy another
internet company.
I see.
It's a web-based, interactive-media
platform. This guy in Austin created it
and it's amazing, fast,
and so easy to use, even I can use it.
The idea is to build on
the web presence we have
and turn into a user-generated
media hub where the members can
share videos, articles,
ideas, anything.
That sounds like a good idea.
Yeah, and it's a deal, too.
The guy who created this platform
is such a true blue computer geek,
he just wants to get started on his
next project, so he's willing to sell
- for only $5 million.
- Oh, only.
I know. I know. But in this world,
that's relatively cheap.
Chad Hurley and Steve Chen sold
Youtube for $1.65 billion,
and who knows how much Mark
Zuckerberg will get for facebook?
Yeah, comparatively.
Anyway, so I'm planning on putting
up $3 million of my own money.
And I'm just trying to line up a fund
to kick in the other $2 million.
You have $3 million?
Yeah, in my trust fund.
Yeah, but I thought this
was a business thing.
I mean, haven't you asked your dad?
I thought you were working for him.
I went to him. I pitched him the idea,
and he rejected it.
I have to move fast. I have to
take this deal off the market
before one of the big-dog companies
sniff me out and try to outbid me.
You still want to take
this chess thing?
Yeah, we should.
Well, you sound really excited.
I am. It's exciting.
The economies of
scale are incredible.
I just need to prove out
the business model first.
Yeah, and the barriers to switching
for your current clientele
will probably increase, too.
Yeah exactly.
That what my father doesn't understand.
The opportunity cost of not doing
it is that somebody else will,
and the barriers
to switching --
- Hey.
- What?
Are you using business-speak with me?
Are we speaking businessese?
I believe we are.
Color me impressed.
I take economics.
Sure, with professor Gilmore.
Yeah. We learned about ideal
business theory last semester.
I'm actualy really enjoying his class.
I've learned a lot.
He's a really good teacher,
which isn't always a given, you know.
Some smart people can't translate
their smarts to other people,
but he is really good
at explaining things,
and he makes you
want to learn more.
Like next week,
we're gonna split up into 10 groups,
and each of us have to
create a business plan.
- Like "The Apprentice."
- Yeah.
And he's gonna be like Donald Trump,
which is ridiculous.
Actually, we don't know what's
gonna go on next week, do we?
I guess not.
But it's good --
you got him a bunch of stuff to read.
I can hardly tell
what anything is.
Look at that pale,
misshapen thing.
Is that a sandwich or
a piece of chicken?
Maybe it's a chicken sandwich.
Oh no, it's quiche.
That's a quiche?
That blobby, white thing is
supposedly quiche lorraine?
It doesn't say "quiche lorraine."
Maybe it's "quiche blobby white thing."
The audacity of charging
money for this.
It's hospital food.
What's that supposed to mean?
I'm just saying it's a clich?.
What is?
Hospital food being bad.
- Exactly.
- What?
It's a clich? for a reason.
Clich?s are true things
that people are
tired of being true.
Like, "a penny saved is a penny
earned." Well it is, invested wisely.
I don't think that's
a clich?, mom.
What do you mean?
Of course it's a clich?.
It's not a clich?.
That's more an overused saying, like
"I'm sweating bullets" or
"it's as cold as ice."
Some overused sayings are true,
like "children should
be seen and not heard."
"Mother knows best."
"If you don't have anything nice to say,
don't say anything at all."
Hello?
Oh, Quentin, hello.
No, I'm not busy at all.
You haven't interrupted a thing.
Thank you for returning
my call so promptly.
Oh, that's very kind, Quentin.
That's right. Yes.
Oh, I'm fine, thank you.
Listen, it's been a while since
I've seen some of the paperwork.
I was wondering if you could fax some
things over here to the hospital.
I think I have
access to a machine.
The first thing I'd like
you to fax is his will.
That's right -- both the standard
will and the living will.
Well, I'm not sure about the
DNR provisions he established.
Oh, that would be wonderful.
Thank you, Quentin.
Talk to you soon. Bye.
Mom, what was that?
Do we like this table, or is it too
close to that man with the I.V.?
Honestly, shouldn't there be a
separate dining area for sick people?
That doesn't seem right.
Mother, you're getting
dad's will faxed here?
Yes.
Why? You need to
read it right now?
Well, yes.
You want to make sure he left
you the Mercedes and the Jag?
I don't care what you think.
I'm being pragmatic.
You know what?
I'm not hungry anymore.
- You like that, right?
- Yeah, that's a good one.
Yeah, all right.
Here's this.
I also found a bunch of his albums --
Bobby Short singing
Cole Porter,
a couple of his favorite
Gershwin ones --
"Rhapsody in blue" and
"An american in Paris" --
also a couple of
Scott Joplin records,
although Scott Joplin might be a
little zazzly for the hospital.
Yeah, I don't know what their
policy about ragtime is.
Oh, I also found "Chuck
Berry at the Fillmore,"
which I gave him for
his 60th birthday.
Also, a little Schubert and Debussy,
which should be nice and relaxing.
Although I didn't find the
Bing Crosby album I wanted.
It's with his son Gary.
It's this song called
"When you and I were young, Maggie
blues." And when grandpa hears it,
he sings along and says,
"I always wanted to be a crooner."
Maggie blues?
You want me to help you look?
Well, I looked. I looked in
two closets and under a couch,
and all I found was the sleeve.
I mean, I could take it just for
decoration, but then it might underline
the fact that we don't
have "Maggie blues."
- I'd bring it.
- Yeah?
Yeah. So the fish man successfully
unloaded all the fish
per your grandmother's request.
Oh good. And everything
worked out with the check?
Yep, the fish man was happy because
I laughed at his C.O.D. joke.
- Hmm?
- C-O-D -- Cod.
Yeah, just like that.
That fish man,
he's a funny one.
Believe me, I know.
I'm Hardy to his Laurel.
Okay, we have a deck of cards,
we have the chessboard.
We have what I think
is a backgammon set.
I grabbed grandma two outfits,
I grabbed her a pair of pants because
I wanted her to be comfortable,
but then I thought that
might be offensive to her.
- Offensive how?
- I have no idea.
Then I grabbed a skirt, but that opened
up the whole stockings, pantyhose,
"going through my grandma's
underwear drawer" can of worms.
And each outfit needs a different
top and a different pair of shoes.
Do you want to know who
rivals Imelda Marcos?
- Emily Gilmore?
- It's unbelievable.
No biped needs to have
that many pairs of shoes.
Do you know what else
I wanted to grab?
By grandpa's bed,
there is a bookmarked copy
of "A monetary history
of the United States."
Because who doesn't
love Milton Friedman?
Milton Friedman's on the syllabus,
so I thought maybe he'd want it.
- Hey!
- What's that?
Bing Crosby and Gary Crosby.
Oh, no way!
It was in the wrong sleeve.
He can croon with
"Maggie blues."
Oh, perfect.
All right, I'm gonna start
loading this stuff in the car.
Okay.
- Logan?
- Yes?
Thank you.
Thank you so much for everything.
Of course.
But you don't have to thank me.
There's nowhere
else I'd rather be.
There you are.
I've been looking for you everywhere.
- Oh, yeah?
- I just got these faxed --
Mom, please, can we drop this?
I need to verify your
social-security number.
I don't want to give you my
social-security number right now.
Why don't you help me pick
out a little gift for dad.
What do you think I'm trying to do,
run a con, steal your identity?
No mom, I've just had enough of
talking about social securities
and wills, okay?
Your father's lawyer faxed
these over from the bank,
and I need your
social-security number.
You have got to be kidding me.
What would I be kidding about?
You're acting like dad is dead.
Dad is not dead.
Lorelai, six years ago,
when your father was in the hospital,
we were completely unprepared,
and we agreed to never
let that happen again.
So we made a plan,
and I am simply following
through on the plan.
So your plan was to chat up
Persephone's to make sure
you don't lose your
special table and to order
tons of swordfish and salmon
to keep your skin glowing
and to happily
discuss with Quentin
whether or not dad
should be resuscitated?
These are things that
need to be dealt with.
No, what has to be dealt with
is that dad could be dying.
What you're dealing with is
phone calls and a checklist.
You're not his secretary, mom.
You're his wife.
Yes. And what do you
know about being a wife?
You've been married for what --
40 days? That's nothing.
Your father and I have been
married for over 40 years.
For 2/3 of my life,
I have been the wife of Richard Gilmore.
I run his household.
I plan his meals.
I buy his clothes,
I entertain his business associates.
When he loses his reading glasses,
I find them.
When he wants a nightcap.
I make it for him.
If he can't remember the
name of a colleague's wife,
I whisper it in his ear.
That's what I do --
I take care of him.
That's my job. That's who I am.
If I could be performing his surgery
right now, I would be, but I can't --
it's out of my hands.
It's out of my hands,
and there's nothing I can do but wait.
I could lose him, Lorelai.
He's my whole life,
and there's nothing I can do!
Mom.
I'm sorry.
This is inappropriate.
No, it's not. It's fine.
Oh, god, I'm a mess.
Did you just take those?
Don't worry about it.
Pay for it later.
Just a few more?
They're good, right?
They stick in your teeth.
But, yes, they are good.
Are there any more?
Are you kidding? There's a ton.
- Not too many.
- Oh mom, there's no such thing.
I wonder why they
call them "Duds."
I don't know. Do you guys know?
Nope.
I could make something up,
but no.
Seems a rather counterintuitive
name for a type of candy.
So, he's out of surgery,
and it went extremely well.
His recovery won't
be immediate.
He still has several days
here at the hospital.
But we can go over that later.
He's groggy now and tired.
After he gets some rest,
you can all visit with him, but for now,
maybe just his wife.
Thank you, doctor.
Tell dad "hi" from us, mom.
I will, Lorelai.
Everything's in order, you'll be
glad to know. I called Harold Larkin
and the chairman of the
economics department.
They both send their best
wishes for a speedy recovery.
I canceled our dinner reservations
for the next couple of weeks.
Oh, and I sent regrets
to Sarah Osgood,
who's hosting the D.A.R.
spring fling this year.
I left word for the Sudburys that we
won't be able to host bridge this week.
Uh, what else?
Oh, and I've been in
touch with Quentin.
He's been kept abreast
of the whole situation.
And I bought fish,
Richard, so much fish --
Tuna and trout and
snapper and salmon and --
Sounds just fine, Emily.
That sounds just fine.
Hi, it's me -- again.
Um, dad's out of surgery,
and it went well,
and he's doing fine, so...
It's good news. I just --
I wanted you to know...
because... I don't know why.
'Cause you haven't
returned any of my calls.
But I just thought I would,
uh, tell you what's going on
because... I'm your wife and...
I think that's what
I'm supposed to do.
No idea how to be your wife,
but I'm trying.
You're my husband,
you know, and...
it seems like you should
be here or call me back.
I mean, I'm pretty sure that's
what married people do,
is be there for each other.
But I know you're upset,
and I know we had a fight,
but this is just bigger than that,
you know?
It's my dad,
and he's had a heart attack.
and everybody's been here.
I mean, I've talked to Sookie and
even Michel and Patty and Babette,
and they've all been
here for me, but...
my husband's... not here.
That's not okay,
Chris, you know?
It's not okay.
Here we go --
a little "Maggie blues."
That is Bing and Gary Crosby.
Why doesn't anybody name
their kid "Bing" anymore?
You could have named me "Bing."
I thought about it.
You didn't look like a Bing.
I don't even know if
I should be insulted.
I wish I were a crooner.
I also brought
you some Gershwin,
some Chuck Berry,
and the Andrews sisters.
Ooh, and some Milton Friedman.
The guy who sang
"Spirit in the sky"?
No, that was Norman Greenbaum.
No, Milton Friedman's the economist
who won the Nobel prize in the '70.
I figured, when you're sick of
reading sir Arthur Conan Doyle,
you can pick up a little
Friedman for a real mystery
and deduce the disadvantages of government
intervention in economic policy.
What do you say, dad --
here or Philadelphia?
What's the call?
I don't think I'd like
to be in Philadelphia.
I think I'd rather
be in New Haven.
Yeah, it's okay here.
We can import cream
cheese and cheesesteaks
and any other kind of cheese.
You look good, dad.
This outfit's not up to your usual J.
Press standards,
unless it's got some brass
buttons I can't see, but...
you look good.
You look tall.
I think I'm just gonna...
close my eyes for...
just a little minute.
Is he asleep?
I think so.
Should we draw a
mustache on him?
- He's already got a mustache.
- Oh, yeah.
- The music's nice.
- Yeah, it is, isn't it?
Hey, Rory?
Hey, mom?
You know, I'm glad to see
you doing so well with Logan.
I'm happy that you're happy.
Thanks.
He's not half bad, that kid.
He's almost okay.
Yeah, he's all right.
- Hey, uh, mom?
- Hey, uh, Rory?
Um, do you...
know where dad is?
No, hon.
For all I know,
maybe he's in Philadelphia.
So we should be able to move him
out of the C.I.C.U. in 24 hours.
If everything goes as planned,
he should be home in five or six days.
Everything will go as planned.
I'm sure of it.
If you like, I can show you the room
where we'll be moving Richard tomorrow.
Absolutely. Does
it have a window?
The room he's in has a window so small,
it's almost a peephole.
I believe it does
have a window.
- Go ahead. I'll be right there.
- Okay, mom.
Just be careful of this bag here,
'cause it's leaking a little bit.
Hey, you're back.
Oh. Hey.
I didn't want to bug you.
I just wanted to drop off some
food for you guys and get going.
Luke, you didn't
have to do that.
It's all right. I wanted to
make some stuff anyway, so...
All right,
I'm gonna get out of here now.
He's okay.
The surgery went well.
Oh, that's terrific.
That is such good news.
He doing really well. They think he'll
be able to go home in a couple days.
Oh, that's so good. Yeah.
So, how's he looking?
Um... he looks good...
big... tall.
That's good. Yeah, he's tall.
He's a big man.
He is a big, tall man.
- Oh, excuse me.
- Can I help you?
Yeah, I'm looking
for Richard Gilmore.
- And you are?
- I'm his son-in-law.
Okay. He's in room b-10.
It's just down the hall.
Take a right at the
nurses' station.
- Is he, uh...
- The surgery went really well.
He's resting comfortably.
He's gonna be fine.
Okay. Good.
All right, so down the hall, right?
- Yeah.
- Thank you.
Okay, so, look, I got a couple of
burgers, assortment of sandwiches.
There's some salads just in case all of
the sudden you want to eat some salad.
All right, couple pieces of pie,
half a dozen chocolate-chip cookies,
and, of course,
there is the fish bag.
You brought a fish bag?
I heard somebody
talking about fish.
There's two fillets, okay,
lobster roll, fish tacos,
two tuna-fish sandwiches,
some fried fish,
and fish sticks.
- Hi. You're here.
- I'm here.
All right, I'm gonna get going.
Yeah, you should.
I'm glad your dad's doing good.
Why didn't you call me?
I didn't think you were coming.
Clearly.
No, he just brought food.
I didn't call him.
I don't want to talk about this --
not now.
Dad. Hey.
Christopher, I'm so
glad you're here.
Of course, of course.
I'm so glad to hear that Richard's okay.
- How you doing, kiddo?
- I'm okay.
I think we're gonna go visit
grandpa again. Do you want to come?
I'm sure he'd be
happy to see you.
- Yeah, that'd be great.
- Okay, come on.
It'll be all right.
Every cloud has
a silver lining.
Thanks, mom.
Well, blood is
thicker than water.
"Once Luke Danes
is in your life,
he is in your life forever."
Obviously you still have very
deep feelings for the guy.
As you know, this course...
will take a specific look at...
processes and determinants...
- Tell me you're not in love with him.
- I'm not in love with him.
And if you don't take this very
seriously, then this whole thing
could fall apart faster than
you could possibly imagine.
And he'll be gone,
and you'll be alone again.
I can't be your rebound.
I'm sorry.
Christopher?
- Ooh! What is that?
- It's just my phone.
Holy smoke! I don't know
what I thought that was --
some alarm on your
pants or something.
No, that's not my pants alarm. The
pants alarm sounds more like a siren.
You want to answer that?
Should we put this down?
That's okay. I'm afraid if we put
it down, we won't pick it up again.
Oh, this is gonna be good,
what with this one here
and the two palms,
oh, boy, Morey's eyes are
gonna pop out of his head!
Why? Does he find plants
particularly startling?
- I'm making a jungle.
- A jungle?
- For the bedroom.
- Ugh! Enough said.
- Hey, is that your inside phone?
- Yeah, I'll call them back.
So, anyway, I got this negligee
with sort of a snake pattern.
Oh, boy! Is this heavy!
It is. It is. I'm sorry, doll.
I wasn't hoping that you
would lug this with me.
I was planning on
asking Christopher.
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah.
I haven't seen him much lately.
Well, his work keeps him busy.
What's he do -- something with
computers? Very mysterious.
Yeah, he's a man of mystery.
You know who's a man
of mystery? Morey.
After decades in the bedroom,
who would have thought
that the idea of dressing up like a
howler monkey would be such a turn-on?
Right. I'm gonna get this,
Babette. Hello?
Rory?
Honey, what's wrong?
Oh, no.
On my way.
Sorry, Babette!
Morey!
Excuse me, miss.
Is that your phone?
Oh. Um, sorry.
H-Hello?
- Hey.
- Hey.
- I'm here.
- Good.
- Where are you?
- I'm here. I'm in the waiting room.
Uh, okay.
I must be in the wrong waiting room.
I'm not in the E.R. anymore.
I'm in the cardiac intensive-care unit,
the C.I.C.U.
That's where I am, I think.
First floor?
First floor.
There's a red stripe
on the floor.
It's kind of orange here.
- Orange?
- Reddish-orange, so maybe.
Well, yeah, orangey red.
Maybe the lights make it look more red.
- Oh. Hi.
- Hey.
Um, they're doing tests,
so that's where he is --
blood tests and another E.K.G.
They did an E.K.G. in the ambulance, but
I guess they're still trying to determine
how much damage was actually
caused by the heart attack.
But that's definitely what it was.
It was a myocardial infarction,
which is a heart attack.
I guess the E.K.G. tells them how
bad the blockage of his arteries is
and what degree of
coronary-artery disease he has,
or C.A.D.,
as they're calling it,
because, apparently, everything is --
what do you call it?
An anagram? What's the thing
with the letters? Acronym.
The C.A.D.,
C.I.C.U., the E.K.G.
Mom, it was awful.
He just fell down.
It's gonna be okay.
Hi, Chris, it's me again.
Uh... I'm at the hospital now,
and, um, it was a heart attack,
but dad's okay.
He's just getting some tests.
So, um... we're in the C.I.C.U.
at John Skinner medical center.
It's on the first floor, and there's
a red stripe running down the hallway.
Just please call me when you get this,
okay? Thanks.
Well, my brain wasn't up to
choosing between things,
so I got one of everything.
You do me proud.
So, grandma's on her way.
I didn't talk to her,
but the girl at the club
said she's en route.
Oh, okay. And what about dad?
Oh, he's probably... en route.
Hmm. Is everything okay?
Yeah, I don't think he's
gotten my messages yet,
but he'll be here when he does.
Okay.
Well... what is your pleasure?
Well, let's see.
Uh... nothing sweet,
I don't think.
No? A salty thing?
A fluorescent-orange
ersatz-cheese thing?
I guess I'm not hungry.
Yeah, me neither.
I keep thinking this is
all just a nightmare.
- I know.
- But it's not.
No. I mean, it's a nightmare
but not a nightmare nightmare.
I know 'cause I have shoes on. In my
nightmares, I never am wearing shoes.
- I didn't know that.
- Yeah, yeah.
It's the worst thing in the dream, too.
I could be chased by snakes
or in a nuclear explosion,
but then I look down,
and, "oh, my god!
I'm not wearing shoes!"
I wonder what that means.
Probably means I have a fear
of hurting my bare feet
or of losing my shoes.
Not so freudian, huh?
For me, a snake is just a snake,
a slingback is just a slingback.
Gilmore?
Hi. I'm Dr. Goldstein.
- You're Richard Gilmore's family?
- Yes. Is he okay?
He's doing all right.
He's conscious, cogent,
and not in
significant pain now.
- Oh, good.
- Good.
We just sent him to the cath
lab to get an angiogram.
After that,
we should be able to get a better sense
of what kind of blockage
is around his heart
and then we'll be able to figure
out where to go from there.
- Where would we go?
- Uh, pardon?
I mean, where --
where would we go?
Well, if the blockage
is more serious,
we will have to consider an
emergency bypass surgery.
Okay.
I promise to let you know as soon as
we get the results from the cath lab.
- Try not to worry.
- No, not worried.
Just normal amount of worried for
someone whose father's had a heart attack,
but not excessively worried.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Thank you, doctor.
I'll see you in a little bit.
- Have you seen him?
- Oh, hi, mom.
No, not since he
was in the E.R.
Where is he?
The doctor came out and said he's in
the cath lab, getting an angiogram.
He's gonna let us
know when he's done.
- Nonsense.
- No, it's true.
He said he would come back
when he had the results.
I'm Emily Gilmore.
I would like to see my husband.
Let's see.
What is your husband's name?
Gilmore! Richard Gilmore!
I'm his wife,
and I would like to see him now.
I'm sorry, he's in the cath lab
right now, getting an angiogram.
The doctor will come find
you as soon as they're done.
There's no need to
be cheery about it.
Honestly, someone with your chipper
personality ought to be a weather girl
or a preschool teacher.
I'm sorry you feel that way.
Oh, please. Don't mope.
What happened to all
the competent people?
That's what I'd like to know.
Was there some giant
hole they all fell into
or a virus that
struck them all down,
leaving the morons of the
world to sit behind the desks?
Mom, wouldn't you like to sit down,
have a nice cup of tea?
I don't want a cup of tea.
What I want
is the most perfunctory level
of competence from the people
with whom I interact. That apparently
is far too much to ask for.
- Grandma, we have snacks.
- Yes, mom, snacks.
We have salty snacks
and sweet snacks
and sweet/salty hybrid snacks.
Even at the club, I'm telling you,
the young men and women that work there
must have a combined I.Q.
of a grapefruit.
You ask them for a towel,
and they look at you with
the most vacant eyes.
I'm telling you, I thought the
girl at reception was blind
the entire first month
she worked there --
blind, but very enthusiastic
about the application of eyeliner.
Sounds pretty.
My husband has a heart attack,
and how long does it
take them to find me?
40 minutes.
The nitwit probably got lost between
the front desk and the tennis courts.
I'm sorry, Grandma,
that sounds terrible.
I mean, none of this would have
been a problem if I'd been allowed
to keep my cellphone. But no.
Cellphones have been banned allegedly
because of noise pollution.
If that's the reason,
they should ban John Abbott.
Because I'm telling you,
every time that man hits a ball,
he grunts like a rutting hog.
He's twice as loud
as my cellphone.
They won't even let you leave your
cellphone on vibrate. It's preposterous.
I mean, what do they think we're doing,
making drug deals?
I doubt that's it.
Which, by the way,
are absolutely, 100% taking place.
I saw Devorah Inwood
handing Cardum Kelly
a small,
blue pill in the ladies' locker room
while they made shady
eyes at each other.
Drug deals at the club?
Mom, I don't think so.
Absolutely. The whole
place is going to the dogs.
Oh, and now apparently, they want
to start charging us for meals,
on top of the king's ransom we
pay in dues. It's appalling.
The very idea of charging extra
for the junk they serve there.
Oh, and you know
what really irks me?
They very rarely serve fish.
That's terrible,
especially for people who love fish.
In a way,
it's their fault that Richard's here.
Mom, what do you mean?
2 1/2 months ago,
I read an article that said
fish has been shown to prevent
heart attacks and stroke
and has innumerable
other health benefits.
Hey.
It's the omega-3 fatty acids --
that and the fact that it's an
incredibly lean source of protein.
So I immedialety had the
maid cut out the article
so I could show it to Richard.
And he agreed to eat more fish,
but he said not for dinner.
My spineless
kitchen staff caved.
Emily, Lorelai, I'm so sorry.
How are you holding up?
We're holding.
Logan, it's so good
of you to come.
Is there anything I can do for you?
Could I get you a cup of tea, maybe?
I just asked.
She doesn't want tea.
I would love a cup of tea.
That's very kind of you.
I'm on a tea hunt, then.
That's a fine young man,
Rory --
very sweet, very considerate.
I like him.
He's one of the good ones.
Lorelai, where's Christopher?
Oh, he's on his way.
From where?
Um, uh... Dr. Goldstein.
I'm Emily Gilmore.
Good. I'm glad you're here.
The blockage is worse
than we'd hoped.
I think the best
course of action --
really the only
course of action --
is to do an emergency
bypass surgery.
Open-heart surgery?
Let him finish, Lorelai.
We'd like to go into
surgery as soon as possible.
So, now would be the time if
you'd like to visit with him.
Yes. Yeah,
we'd like to see him.
If you'll follow me please.
Feel free to ask me any
questions you might have.
Are you the one who will
be performing the surgery?
Yes, along with a team.
I'll be the chief surgeon.
Where did you go to school?
I'm sorry?
- You did attend school, didn't you?
- Mom.
No, it's okay.
Yes, I got my B.A. at Yale.
I went to medical
school at Harvard.
I did my residency at
Columbia Presbyterian
before I became chief of
cardiothoracic surgery here.
- See?
- See what?
Here we are.
I'll let you visit.
A nurse will be by shortly to
begin prepping Richard for surgery.
Thank you, doctor.
And I watched his hands closely.
They're steady as a statue's.
Oh, and, Richard,
he's Yale undergrad,
Harvard medical school.
You don't say.
Well, if he does a good job,
I'll forget the Harvard part.
I'll write that off as
a youthful indiscretion.
This room is rather intimate.
It's just fine, Emily.
I promise you.
Now, Rory, I'm sorry I gave
you a scare in class today.
No, don't be silly.
I'm just glad you're okay
and that you're gonna be
more okay after the surgery.
Thank you.
Are you okay, dad? I mean, how are
you feeling, considering everything?
You okay? You look okay.
Well, all in all,
I think I'd rather be in Philadelphia.
- Ronald Reagan.
- Quoting W.C. Fields.
- Oh, I didn't know that.
- It would be great time now.
Winter in Philadelphia is a great
time to see the Liberty Bell
and the cream cheese.
That's all I got on Philadelphia.
Lorelai.
Well, the cheesesteaks --
the Philly cheesesteaks.
Lorelai, please. Richard,
is your neck getting enough support?
It looks like you
need another pillow.
I don't know.
I think it's all right.
I got it, mom.
I can take care of it.
- I'm just handing you a pillow.
- I don't want that pillow.
- What's wrong with that pillow?
- It doesn't have a pillowcase.
Yes, it does. What's this?
It's a pillowcase.
Yes, it has one pillowcase.
It should have two pillowcases
one facing each ways,
so the pillow is never exposed.
Now I have to ring for a pillow.
Mother, we have a pillow right here, why--
Tucson.
- What?
- Tucson is extremely hot,
and it has a dry climate that doesn't agree with me,
and I really don't think much of the way they dress out there.
And I have a deep aversion to cacti of all kinds.
And yet Tucson is a place where I think I would rather be.
Anywhere but here, right, dad?
Although, it's awfully dry.
And so hot.
And you're right about the fashion -- ponchos and all that turquoise.
Oh, and men in sandals. Spare me.
So, how's it going there, Zach?
Aces. Pastrami on rye --
mustard, no mayo.
Cheeseburger --
swiss, double pickles, fries.
If you need anything else,
just holler.
My name's Zach, and, uh...
I'll be your waiter.
- So you holding up okay?
- Oh yeah.
I tell you, I was not looking forward
to this filling in for Lane deal.
So I was all, "oh no",
and then she's like,
"it's either this, or you fill in
during the whole childbirth deal."
Which would probably be
a bit more difficult.
Yeah, right.
Handing out food is cake
compared to having a human being
come out of you -- no offense.
None taken.
You're doing a good job.
Oh, man, I got to tell you,
it's been great.
I mean, it's been enlightening.
Like, in the past,
I was the one sitting at the table,
and now I'm the one with
the notepad and the pencil.
- You're on the inside.
- It's cool.
Don't let the power
go to your head.
No kidding. You know what
was freaking me out before?
I'm about to hand people the
food they're going to eat,
and I could do anything to it,
and they would have no idea.
I mean, they would just eat it.
Not that I would, of course,
but it's just intense.
Plus, everything
smells so good.
I can see why Lane
digs this job.
Well, your enthusiasm
is appreciated.
Right on.
Hey, you have another rag?
Cool.
Hey, Luke?
Hey, Babette.
What can I get you?
You still stocking the
jungle with snacks,
whatever that means?
Luke, I got to tell
you something.
Or, I don't know if I got to,
but I want to.
It's not that I want to
like it's a good thing.
Lorelai's dad had
a heart attack.
- Oh, my god.
- Rory called Lorelai
- and I was there.
- Is he okay?
Well, he's not -- he's okay...
I think... right now.
They're at John Skinner,
and I don't know... that's all I know.
Oh, my god.
Yeah, I-I thought you
would want to know.
Yeah, yeah, thanks.
All right. Well, I'm gonna go.
Yeah. Thanks.
You know what it's like?
Working here is like having
a backstage pass at a show.
It's all-access, man.
Right. Right.
Hey, it's me again.
I don't know if you
got my other message.
We're still here at the hospital,
and, uh...
dad's gonna have surgery.
He's having a coronary
bypass pretty soon.
I just came from his room,
and, um...
he doesn't look bad, you know?
He looks okay, considering.
But, uh... he's lying down.
He just -- just looks so small.
It just made me
think of this time.
There was a tree in our
yard I would always climb,
and one day, I climbed up really,
really high.
Dad came home from work. I watched
him go into the house, and I thought,
"he looks so small."
It was so strange to
see him look like that.
Anyway, I should go, but, uh...
call me when you get this, okay?
Bye. Hello?
How are you? How is everything?
What can I do?
Oh no, it's okay. I'm okay.
Dad had a heart attack,
and he's gonna have surgery.
But I guess it's a pretty
common operation, so...
And how are you?
I'm okay, considering.
- What can I do?
- Oh, nothing, hon. I'm fine.
Can I send you anything?
I made lemon bars
and, ooh, pecan squares,
and I packed them up
and I'm sending them over
with Katie right now.
Oh, that was so sweet.
Is that Lorelai?
Yes. Her dad's in surgery,
but he's fine.
- How is Rory doing?
- Rory's doing fine, thanks.
- Tell Lorelai I say hello.
- Michel says hello.
- Tell Michel I said hello.
- She says hello.
Tell Lorelai that I am thinking of
her father and wishing him well.
He says he's thinking of your
father and wishing him well.
- Tell Michel "thank you."
- She says "thank you."
Tell Lorelai that the Zimmermans in
room 4 are not a married couple,
as we had thought,
but rather a brother and a sister.
No, I'm not telling Lorelai that.
She's in a hospital.
Tell her they requested a rollaway bed,
and we do not have any rollaway bed left.
I am not talking to Lorelai
about rollaway beds.
Tell Lorelai that the Zimmermans
are very demanding, and very big,
and they need a bed!
Tell Michel that the Murrays
are checking out at 3:00
and he can use the rolloway
bed from their room.
She says you can take the
rollaway bed from the Murrays.
They're checking out at 3:00.
Ahh! Very good.
Tell her "thank you."
He says "thank you" and
apologizes for being such a pest.
Tell her I miss her here very,
very much!
Well, then don't stick us in
the back corner next time.
Oh, you did,
you absolutely did, Anthony.
I was so close to the kitchen,
I could have reach
and gotten my own plate
without standing up,
just stretched out my arm
like Rubberman, and...
No, no, I'm just kidding.
So, tell me,
what's your special tonight?
Sea scallops? Oh, you're torturing me,
Anthony, torturing me.
Well, give my love
to your wife.
Oh, I will.
Oh, just one of those
last-minute business trips.
All right, then. Bye-bye.
Somebody's very
chipper on the phone.
Somebody should consider a
career as a weather girl.
Oh, please, I've spent years cultivating
my relationship with the maitre d'
at Persephone's. I'm hardly about to
let it go down the drain in one night.
"Call Persephone's" -- done.
We're missing the sea scallops.
Persephone's does the most
wonderful job with seafood.
I wish we'd eaten there more often.
It's such a shame.
They make a cedar-plank
salmon that is --
I don't know if
you like salmon.
No, but I love a nice,
juicy cedar plank.
Salmon is one of the best fish
in terms of the omega-3s.
It's absolutely marvelous for you,
and it makes your skin positively glow.
Beauty tips are not really big on my
list of priorities right now, mom.
So I tell Paris,
"I don't care if it would
theoretically increase my chances
of getting a grant
to study in Russia.
I am not willing to pretend to be
an accomplished rhythmic gymnast."
How do you pretend to be a
rhythmic gymnast, anyway?
I don't even know.
Do you whirl around some ribbons?
Balance a ball on your nose?
She's taking the idea of our impending
graduation with a pinch of total insanity.
- Logan you should answer that.
- Nah.
But it's practically buzzing off
the table. Really, I don't mind.
- I'll text them back in a minute.
- But you need to --
Rory, right now, I don't need to do
anything but be right here with you.
Well, are you sure?
Aren't people gonna be mad
you're not answering your phone?
Then that's their problem.
You know who's gonna
be mad at me? Paris.
Because right now,
I'm missing a G.R.E. prep course
and tea with the
Branford librarian.
I imagine she'll understand.
Paris?
Maybe you better start
balancing a ball on your nose.
I need to cancel
Richard's tennis match.
I guess I'm not gonna make
it to my book club tomorrow.
Just as well --
I haven't even cracked the cover.
Whatever gives Suzanna Shaw
the idea that the rest of us
share her barbaric interest in
Cormac McCarthy is beyond me.
Now let's see.
I need to return the Dean's call, and --
Oh, no. Not him again.
What's he doing here?
I don't know.
Hey. I was just in the diner.
Babette came and told me
your dad had a heart attack.
I swear, I didn't even know
what I was doing.
I just walked right out the
diner and drove straight here.
Now that I'm here,
I realize I might be in the way,
but if there's anything I can do,
I want to do it.
- Uh... well --
- Hi, Luke.
- Hey, Rory, Logan.
- Want some coffee?
No, I'm okay. Thanks very much.
Look, I don't want to cause
any kind of weirdness here.
I mean,
I don't want to make him feel --
Christopher actually isn't here yet,
but he will be any second, so...
Okay, I'll just
get out of here.
Thanks. There's just
not much for you to do.
Oh, yes, there is, absolutely.
There is plenty for you to do, Luke.
You can drive to the Yale campus
and pick up Richard's car.
- Mom, he can't do that.
- No, it's no problem.
I'm not exactly sure where it's parked,
but it shouldn't be hard to find.
Just check the faculty parking lot
and wherever else they have parking.
It's a 2006 Jaguar. It's green.
Oh, and I think it's a little low
on gas, so if you wouldn't mind
filling the tank, on the way back
to the house, that would be great.
Okay. Sure.
- Okay, I'll get the key.
- Mom...
Is he supposed to just drive the
car to the house, and then what,
then take a cab all the way
back to Yale to get his truck?
- I have no objection to that.
- Seriously, it's no problem.
See? Now fill it with premium,
not whatever sludge they try
- to pass off as regular.
- Premium, you got it.
You do know how to drive
a european car, don't you?
- Mom.
- Absolutely. Don't worry.
There's nothing to yank.
It's a Jaguar, not a lawn mower.
Oh, my god!
Just leave the
key with Soledad.
And... here.
You can keep the change.
Emily, thanks, really,
it's my pleasure.
If you insist.
If you don't mind terribly,
I need someone to make sure that the
path to the front door is shoveled.
Mother, stop.
Hello?
Oh, hello.
You got my message about the fish.
Sorry. We're all a little...
She read an article about how
fish can prevent heart attacks.
Now she thinks it's
the key to everything.
Well, fish is good.
Yeah.
All right, I should get going.
Okay. Well, thanks.
Yes! Goodbye!
Another incompetent.
Lorelai, go get Luke back.
I need him to bring a
check for the fish man.
Mom, I'm not getting Luke.
He's done enough already.
Why don't you reschedule the
fish man for later in the week.
Because this is important.
It's important to have fish
at the house right now?
Logan and I can go meet the fish
man with a check if you want.
Oh, that would be marvelous.
Okay. I also want to get some of grandpa's
stuff so he has it when he wakes up.
- Wait, I'll do that.
- Do what?
You pay the fish man,
and I'll get grandpa's stuff.
Oh mom, that's silly.
They're in the same place.
Yes, but then we'll both have a job.
You have a job and I have a job.
Yeah, but going to
grandpa's is one job.
Somebody needs to stay here
and look after grandma.
Fine.
- I mean, if you really want --
- No, she's my mother.
- Well, you're my mother.
- Exactly. It's a tangled web.
Here you go, Logan.
Now have him put the salmon,
the swordfish, the king mackerel,
and the tuna in the
downstairs freezer
and the trout, sea bass, snapper,
and bluefish in the butler's pantry.
Salmon, swordfish,
king mackerel, tuna downstairs.
Trout, sea bass, snapper,
bluefish upstairs.
If you rode in the ambulance,
you and I don't have a car here.
Take it before I change my mind.
Level 3.
Thanks. Bye.
Bye. I'll be here doing my job.
How come you don't have a car?
Well, I came by
chopper, actually.
Chopper motorcycle or
chopper helicopter?
Helicopter.
- You came here in a helicopter?
- Yep.
Oh, I do need to call Quentin. I wonder
if they have a fax machine here.
And I'm hungry. Are you hungry?
I don't know. Probably.
I should be. Don't feel hungry.
All right. Then we should get something
to eat. But first, I want to see
if those addled nurses will allow
me to use their fax machine.
Hello?
Lorelai, it's me -- Babette.
- How you doing, sweetie?
- Oh, hey. I'm okay.
What's the news with your dad?
Well, he's in surgery right now,
but we think he's gonna be okay.
Oh, yeah, I'm sure.
Don't you worry about a thing.
He's a very vital man, your dad --
lots of chi, you know?
Oh... really?
I didn't know you noticed his chi.
Are you kidding me?
Prana, chi, life force --
whatever you call it,
your daddy's got it in spades.
Sexy men like him often do.
That's what makes them so sexy.
- They're ripe with life.
- O-kay.
- He's gonna be fine.
- Thanks, Babette.
He's like Warren Beatty, your dad --
or Sean Connery
or -- who's that one
I always found so sexy?
The evil politician with the glasses --
Henry Kissinger!
Oh, yeah, I know him.
You might not agree with his politics.
You might have lived through Vietnam
and thought,
"that man is the devil,"
but you can't deny he's sexy.
You know why? Chi.
I get it. So, how's Paul Anka?
Oh, yeah, he's great,
just great.
What's wrong?
- I don't want to bother you.
- Go ahead.
Oh, nothing to worry about.
It's just...
I'm afraid his
bladder's gonna explode.
I can't get him
to come with me.
I'm sure he needs to relieve himself,
but it's a no-go. He's a no-go.
Oh Babette, I should've told you,
he's probably afraid of the porch steps.
You just have to lay
something down for him.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
Wow! Yeah,
that worked great. Wow.
He's got some chi of his own,
this one.
- Ooh. Only problem is...
- What?
Nothing, nothing. It's just a little
cold without my coat, that's all.
Not your concern.
So, sweetie, if you need anything else,
you'll call me?
- Okay, I'll call you.
- Okay.
Give my love to your father.
I will, Babette.
Hey, thanks for calling.
Oh, sure thing, hon. Bye.
Uh-huh, right.
No, it's not a problem. It's perfectly
understandable. So from there,
you wanna take a right on Sycamore,
left onto old Sawbrook, and then...
That's right.
No, I mean a left into the driveway.
I mean that's correct --
making a left.
I mean, a left is the correct choice.
Right.
That's correct, I mean.
Okay, great. Great.
We'll be here. See you soon.
Sounds like Abbott and Costello got
nothing on you and the fish man.
You liked the "right/right" business?
It could use polish,
but me and the fish man have
plans to bring back vaudeville.
Oh, I'm gonna book the Palace
Theater. Logan and the fish man.
- The fish man and Logan.
- He gets top billing?
He's the one who can juggle.
Anyway, so the snow delayed him,
but he should be here in 15 minutes.
Okay, I think your Blackberry
is going to explode.
It's business stuff --
nothing that can't keep.
Business stuff, huh?
Business stuff that has to do
with the chopper you flew in on?
We don't have to
talk about it now.
Oh, come on, I'm interested.
I want to know.
And also,
I could really use the distraction.
Besides, I want to make sure
you haven't stolen a chopper.
I didn't steal it. It was loaned
to me by a hedge-fund manager.
Ohh, well...
I was at his country home in Montauk
when you called, and he just...
Loaned you his chopper,
as they say.
Pretty much.
Well, I think loaning
someone your chopper
is a sign of trust
in many cultures.
That sounds like a good sign.
Yeah, I think it
is a good sign.
So, come on.
What do you need funding for?
Just tell me something.
I don't want to be nosy,
but I'm really interested.
Come on. Come on.
Okay, you asked for
it so here it goes.
I want to buy another
internet company.
I see.
It's a web-based, interactive-media
platform. This guy in Austin created it
and it's amazing, fast,
and so easy to use, even I can use it.
The idea is to build on
the web presence we have
and turn into a user-generated
media hub where the members can
share videos, articles,
ideas, anything.
That sounds like a good idea.
Yeah, and it's a deal, too.
The guy who created this platform
is such a true blue computer geek,
he just wants to get started on his
next project, so he's willing to sell
- for only $5 million.
- Oh, only.
I know. I know. But in this world,
that's relatively cheap.
Chad Hurley and Steve Chen sold
Youtube for $1.65 billion,
and who knows how much Mark
Zuckerberg will get for facebook?
Yeah, comparatively.
Anyway, so I'm planning on putting
up $3 million of my own money.
And I'm just trying to line up a fund
to kick in the other $2 million.
You have $3 million?
Yeah, in my trust fund.
Yeah, but I thought this
was a business thing.
I mean, haven't you asked your dad?
I thought you were working for him.
I went to him. I pitched him the idea,
and he rejected it.
I have to move fast. I have to
take this deal off the market
before one of the big-dog companies
sniff me out and try to outbid me.
You still want to take
this chess thing?
Yeah, we should.
Well, you sound really excited.
I am. It's exciting.
The economies of
scale are incredible.
I just need to prove out
the business model first.
Yeah, and the barriers to switching
for your current clientele
will probably increase, too.
Yeah exactly.
That what my father doesn't understand.
The opportunity cost of not doing
it is that somebody else will,
and the barriers
to switching --
- Hey.
- What?
Are you using business-speak with me?
Are we speaking businessese?
I believe we are.
Color me impressed.
I take economics.
Sure, with professor Gilmore.
Yeah. We learned about ideal
business theory last semester.
I'm actualy really enjoying his class.
I've learned a lot.
He's a really good teacher,
which isn't always a given, you know.
Some smart people can't translate
their smarts to other people,
but he is really good
at explaining things,
and he makes you
want to learn more.
Like next week,
we're gonna split up into 10 groups,
and each of us have to
create a business plan.
- Like "The Apprentice."
- Yeah.
And he's gonna be like Donald Trump,
which is ridiculous.
Actually, we don't know what's
gonna go on next week, do we?
I guess not.
But it's good --
you got him a bunch of stuff to read.
I can hardly tell
what anything is.
Look at that pale,
misshapen thing.
Is that a sandwich or
a piece of chicken?
Maybe it's a chicken sandwich.
Oh no, it's quiche.
That's a quiche?
That blobby, white thing is
supposedly quiche lorraine?
It doesn't say "quiche lorraine."
Maybe it's "quiche blobby white thing."
The audacity of charging
money for this.
It's hospital food.
What's that supposed to mean?
I'm just saying it's a clich?.
What is?
Hospital food being bad.
- Exactly.
- What?
It's a clich? for a reason.
Clich?s are true things
that people are
tired of being true.
Like, "a penny saved is a penny
earned." Well it is, invested wisely.
I don't think that's
a clich?, mom.
What do you mean?
Of course it's a clich?.
It's not a clich?.
That's more an overused saying, like
"I'm sweating bullets" or
"it's as cold as ice."
Some overused sayings are true,
like "children should
be seen and not heard."
"Mother knows best."
"If you don't have anything nice to say,
don't say anything at all."
Hello?
Oh, Quentin, hello.
No, I'm not busy at all.
You haven't interrupted a thing.
Thank you for returning
my call so promptly.
Oh, that's very kind, Quentin.
That's right. Yes.
Oh, I'm fine, thank you.
Listen, it's been a while since
I've seen some of the paperwork.
I was wondering if you could fax some
things over here to the hospital.
I think I have
access to a machine.
The first thing I'd like
you to fax is his will.
That's right -- both the standard
will and the living will.
Well, I'm not sure about the
DNR provisions he established.
Oh, that would be wonderful.
Thank you, Quentin.
Talk to you soon. Bye.
Mom, what was that?
Do we like this table, or is it too
close to that man with the I.V.?
Honestly, shouldn't there be a
separate dining area for sick people?
That doesn't seem right.
Mother, you're getting
dad's will faxed here?
Yes.
Why? You need to
read it right now?
Well, yes.
You want to make sure he left
you the Mercedes and the Jag?
I don't care what you think.
I'm being pragmatic.
You know what?
I'm not hungry anymore.
- You like that, right?
- Yeah, that's a good one.
Yeah, all right.
Here's this.
I also found a bunch of his albums --
Bobby Short singing
Cole Porter,
a couple of his favorite
Gershwin ones --
"Rhapsody in blue" and
"An american in Paris" --
also a couple of
Scott Joplin records,
although Scott Joplin might be a
little zazzly for the hospital.
Yeah, I don't know what their
policy about ragtime is.
Oh, I also found "Chuck
Berry at the Fillmore,"
which I gave him for
his 60th birthday.
Also, a little Schubert and Debussy,
which should be nice and relaxing.
Although I didn't find the
Bing Crosby album I wanted.
It's with his son Gary.
It's this song called
"When you and I were young, Maggie
blues." And when grandpa hears it,
he sings along and says,
"I always wanted to be a crooner."
Maggie blues?
You want me to help you look?
Well, I looked. I looked in
two closets and under a couch,
and all I found was the sleeve.
I mean, I could take it just for
decoration, but then it might underline
the fact that we don't
have "Maggie blues."
- I'd bring it.
- Yeah?
Yeah. So the fish man successfully
unloaded all the fish
per your grandmother's request.
Oh good. And everything
worked out with the check?
Yep, the fish man was happy because
I laughed at his C.O.D. joke.
- Hmm?
- C-O-D -- Cod.
Yeah, just like that.
That fish man,
he's a funny one.
Believe me, I know.
I'm Hardy to his Laurel.
Okay, we have a deck of cards,
we have the chessboard.
We have what I think
is a backgammon set.
I grabbed grandma two outfits,
I grabbed her a pair of pants because
I wanted her to be comfortable,
but then I thought that
might be offensive to her.
- Offensive how?
- I have no idea.
Then I grabbed a skirt, but that opened
up the whole stockings, pantyhose,
"going through my grandma's
underwear drawer" can of worms.
And each outfit needs a different
top and a different pair of shoes.
Do you want to know who
rivals Imelda Marcos?
- Emily Gilmore?
- It's unbelievable.
No biped needs to have
that many pairs of shoes.
Do you know what else
I wanted to grab?
By grandpa's bed,
there is a bookmarked copy
of "A monetary history
of the United States."
Because who doesn't
love Milton Friedman?
Milton Friedman's on the syllabus,
so I thought maybe he'd want it.
- Hey!
- What's that?
Bing Crosby and Gary Crosby.
Oh, no way!
It was in the wrong sleeve.
He can croon with
"Maggie blues."
Oh, perfect.
All right, I'm gonna start
loading this stuff in the car.
Okay.
- Logan?
- Yes?
Thank you.
Thank you so much for everything.
Of course.
But you don't have to thank me.
There's nowhere
else I'd rather be.
There you are.
I've been looking for you everywhere.
- Oh, yeah?
- I just got these faxed --
Mom, please, can we drop this?
I need to verify your
social-security number.
I don't want to give you my
social-security number right now.
Why don't you help me pick
out a little gift for dad.
What do you think I'm trying to do,
run a con, steal your identity?
No mom, I've just had enough of
talking about social securities
and wills, okay?
Your father's lawyer faxed
these over from the bank,
and I need your
social-security number.
You have got to be kidding me.
What would I be kidding about?
You're acting like dad is dead.
Dad is not dead.
Lorelai, six years ago,
when your father was in the hospital,
we were completely unprepared,
and we agreed to never
let that happen again.
So we made a plan,
and I am simply following
through on the plan.
So your plan was to chat up
Persephone's to make sure
you don't lose your
special table and to order
tons of swordfish and salmon
to keep your skin glowing
and to happily
discuss with Quentin
whether or not dad
should be resuscitated?
These are things that
need to be dealt with.
No, what has to be dealt with
is that dad could be dying.
What you're dealing with is
phone calls and a checklist.
You're not his secretary, mom.
You're his wife.
Yes. And what do you
know about being a wife?
You've been married for what --
40 days? That's nothing.
Your father and I have been
married for over 40 years.
For 2/3 of my life,
I have been the wife of Richard Gilmore.
I run his household.
I plan his meals.
I buy his clothes,
I entertain his business associates.
When he loses his reading glasses,
I find them.
When he wants a nightcap.
I make it for him.
If he can't remember the
name of a colleague's wife,
I whisper it in his ear.
That's what I do --
I take care of him.
That's my job. That's who I am.
If I could be performing his surgery
right now, I would be, but I can't --
it's out of my hands.
It's out of my hands,
and there's nothing I can do but wait.
I could lose him, Lorelai.
He's my whole life,
and there's nothing I can do!
Mom.
I'm sorry.
This is inappropriate.
No, it's not. It's fine.
Oh, god, I'm a mess.
Did you just take those?
Don't worry about it.
Pay for it later.
Just a few more?
They're good, right?
They stick in your teeth.
But, yes, they are good.
Are there any more?
Are you kidding? There's a ton.
- Not too many.
- Oh mom, there's no such thing.
I wonder why they
call them "Duds."
I don't know. Do you guys know?
Nope.
I could make something up,
but no.
Seems a rather counterintuitive
name for a type of candy.
So, he's out of surgery,
and it went extremely well.
His recovery won't
be immediate.
He still has several days
here at the hospital.
But we can go over that later.
He's groggy now and tired.
After he gets some rest,
you can all visit with him, but for now,
maybe just his wife.
Thank you, doctor.
Tell dad "hi" from us, mom.
I will, Lorelai.
Everything's in order, you'll be
glad to know. I called Harold Larkin
and the chairman of the
economics department.
They both send their best
wishes for a speedy recovery.
I canceled our dinner reservations
for the next couple of weeks.
Oh, and I sent regrets
to Sarah Osgood,
who's hosting the D.A.R.
spring fling this year.
I left word for the Sudburys that we
won't be able to host bridge this week.
Uh, what else?
Oh, and I've been in
touch with Quentin.
He's been kept abreast
of the whole situation.
And I bought fish,
Richard, so much fish --
Tuna and trout and
snapper and salmon and --
Sounds just fine, Emily.
That sounds just fine.
Hi, it's me -- again.
Um, dad's out of surgery,
and it went well,
and he's doing fine, so...
It's good news. I just --
I wanted you to know...
because... I don't know why.
'Cause you haven't
returned any of my calls.
But I just thought I would,
uh, tell you what's going on
because... I'm your wife and...
I think that's what
I'm supposed to do.
No idea how to be your wife,
but I'm trying.
You're my husband,
you know, and...
it seems like you should
be here or call me back.
I mean, I'm pretty sure that's
what married people do,
is be there for each other.
But I know you're upset,
and I know we had a fight,
but this is just bigger than that,
you know?
It's my dad,
and he's had a heart attack.
and everybody's been here.
I mean, I've talked to Sookie and
even Michel and Patty and Babette,
and they've all been
here for me, but...
my husband's... not here.
That's not okay,
Chris, you know?
It's not okay.
Here we go --
a little "Maggie blues."
That is Bing and Gary Crosby.
Why doesn't anybody name
their kid "Bing" anymore?
You could have named me "Bing."
I thought about it.
You didn't look like a Bing.
I don't even know if
I should be insulted.
I wish I were a crooner.
I also brought
you some Gershwin,
some Chuck Berry,
and the Andrews sisters.
Ooh, and some Milton Friedman.
The guy who sang
"Spirit in the sky"?
No, that was Norman Greenbaum.
No, Milton Friedman's the economist
who won the Nobel prize in the '70.
I figured, when you're sick of
reading sir Arthur Conan Doyle,
you can pick up a little
Friedman for a real mystery
and deduce the disadvantages of government
intervention in economic policy.
What do you say, dad --
here or Philadelphia?
What's the call?
I don't think I'd like
to be in Philadelphia.
I think I'd rather
be in New Haven.
Yeah, it's okay here.
We can import cream
cheese and cheesesteaks
and any other kind of cheese.
You look good, dad.
This outfit's not up to your usual J.
Press standards,
unless it's got some brass
buttons I can't see, but...
you look good.
You look tall.
I think I'm just gonna...
close my eyes for...
just a little minute.
Is he asleep?
I think so.
Should we draw a
mustache on him?
- He's already got a mustache.
- Oh, yeah.
- The music's nice.
- Yeah, it is, isn't it?
Hey, Rory?
Hey, mom?
You know, I'm glad to see
you doing so well with Logan.
I'm happy that you're happy.
Thanks.
He's not half bad, that kid.
He's almost okay.
Yeah, he's all right.
- Hey, uh, mom?
- Hey, uh, Rory?
Um, do you...
know where dad is?
No, hon.
For all I know,
maybe he's in Philadelphia.
So we should be able to move him
out of the C.I.C.U. in 24 hours.
If everything goes as planned,
he should be home in five or six days.
Everything will go as planned.
I'm sure of it.
If you like, I can show you the room
where we'll be moving Richard tomorrow.
Absolutely. Does
it have a window?
The room he's in has a window so small,
it's almost a peephole.
I believe it does
have a window.
- Go ahead. I'll be right there.
- Okay, mom.
Just be careful of this bag here,
'cause it's leaking a little bit.
Hey, you're back.
Oh. Hey.
I didn't want to bug you.
I just wanted to drop off some
food for you guys and get going.
Luke, you didn't
have to do that.
It's all right. I wanted to
make some stuff anyway, so...
All right,
I'm gonna get out of here now.
He's okay.
The surgery went well.
Oh, that's terrific.
That is such good news.
He doing really well. They think he'll
be able to go home in a couple days.
Oh, that's so good. Yeah.
So, how's he looking?
Um... he looks good...
big... tall.
That's good. Yeah, he's tall.
He's a big man.
He is a big, tall man.
- Oh, excuse me.
- Can I help you?
Yeah, I'm looking
for Richard Gilmore.
- And you are?
- I'm his son-in-law.
Okay. He's in room b-10.
It's just down the hall.
Take a right at the
nurses' station.
- Is he, uh...
- The surgery went really well.
He's resting comfortably.
He's gonna be fine.
Okay. Good.
All right, so down the hall, right?
- Yeah.
- Thank you.
Okay, so, look, I got a couple of
burgers, assortment of sandwiches.
There's some salads just in case all of
the sudden you want to eat some salad.
All right, couple pieces of pie,
half a dozen chocolate-chip cookies,
and, of course,
there is the fish bag.
You brought a fish bag?
I heard somebody
talking about fish.
There's two fillets, okay,
lobster roll, fish tacos,
two tuna-fish sandwiches,
some fried fish,
and fish sticks.
- Hi. You're here.
- I'm here.
All right, I'm gonna get going.
Yeah, you should.
I'm glad your dad's doing good.
Why didn't you call me?
I didn't think you were coming.
Clearly.
No, he just brought food.
I didn't call him.
I don't want to talk about this --
not now.
Dad. Hey.
Christopher, I'm so
glad you're here.
Of course, of course.
I'm so glad to hear that Richard's okay.
- How you doing, kiddo?
- I'm okay.
I think we're gonna go visit
grandpa again. Do you want to come?
I'm sure he'd be
happy to see you.
- Yeah, that'd be great.
- Okay, come on.
It'll be all right.
Every cloud has
a silver lining.
Thanks, mom.
Well, blood is
thicker than water.