Gilmore Girls (2000–2007): Season 2, Episode 14 - It Should've Been Lorelai - full transcript
Christopher and his girlfriend Sherry visit Stars Hollow leading Sherry to push for a Friday night out alone with Rory to bond. So Lorelai takes Christopher to a tumultuous Friday night dinner at her parents. Lorelai, thinking she...
PREVIOUSLY ON GILMORE GIRLS:
DAD!
HEY!
I WANT TO MARRY YOU.
YOU'RE COMPLETELY INSANE!
WHO IS HE? WHO?
THE BOY YOU RAN OFF TO
SEE, THE ONE WHO CALLS HERE
PRETENDING TO WORK FOR
THE WALL STREET JOURNAL.
I CAN BE A FAMILY MAN.
I'M RESPONSIBLE NOW.
HONEY, YOU CAN'T EVEN BUY A BOOK
WITHOUT HAVING YOUR
CREDIT CARD DECLINED.
MAYBE HE CAN CHANGE.
RORY.
MAYBE IT'S DIFFERENT. HE
DID COME HERE THIS TIME.
HE'S NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE.
NO BOYS. NOT UNLESS I
APPROVE, AND I DON'T APPROVE.
HOW DO YOU KNOW?
I KNOW! YOU'RE
SNEAKING, YOU'RE LYING.
THAT MEANS SOMETHING'S
WRONG WITH THIS BOY.
A VOLVO SEDAN? ARE YOU KIDDING?
THIS IS A GREAT CAR.
FOR DRIVING TO BINGO.
IT JUST SEEMED LIKE TIME.
I COULDN'T KEEP SHOWING
UP FOR WORK ON MY BIKE.
WORK? YOU'VE HEARD OF IT?
YOU GO UPSTAIRS RIGHT
NOW AND CALM DOWN!
FINE!
NOW! FINE!
THAT IS NOT CALMING DOWN!
I REALLY HAVE TO GET BACK.
TO WORK?
TO SOMEONE.
LINDA FROM MARKETING
GOT TO YOU, DIDN'T SHE?
HER NAME IS SHERRIE.
IS IT SERIOUS?
WE'RE LIVING TOGETHER.
WOW.
MY QUESTION IS, HOW
DID THAT HAPPEN?
HOW WAS IT THAT SUDDENLY
EVERYONE IN THE WORLD WAS SAYING,
"MUSIC HAS CHARMS TO
SOOTH THE SAVAGE BEAST"
WHEN IT WAS WRITTEN "BREAST"?
I DON'T KNOW.
AT SOME POINT SOMEONE
MISSPOKE AND IT JUST CAUGHT ON.
HOW DO THINGS
LIKE THAT CATCH ON?
PLEASE, YOU'RE DRIVING ME CRAZY.
I MEAN, DID SOME
GUY, LIKE, SAY IT
AT A BIG RALLY OF SOME SORT AND EVERYONE
WENT HOME, STARTED SAYING IT THAT WAY
AND IT JUST SPREAD FROM THERE?
YES, EXACTLY.
NOW YOU'RE JUST
TRYING TO SHUT ME UP.
OH, MY GOD.
WHAT? LOOK.
WOW.
EMPTY.
JUST ONE OF THOSE WEIRD LULLS.
HAPPENS OCCASIONALLY.
CAN WE SIT WHEREVER WE LIKE?
WHEREVER YOU LIKE.
WOW. SUCH LUXURY
I NEVER DREAMED OF.
WHERE DO YOU WANT TO SIT?
I DON'T KNOW.
UM, HOW ABOUT THIS TABLE WITH
ITS UNOBSTRUCTED WESTWARD VIEW
OF THE WIDE COSMOPOLITAN
EXPANSE OF CLUMP STREET?
TEMPTING. DO YOU KNOW
THAT ON A CLEAR DAY
YOU CAN SEE THE GARBAGE
CANS BEHIND AL'S PANCAKE WORLD?
HUMPH. OR WE COULD SIT IN THE
CORNER, YOU KNOW, THE MAFIA TABLE
SO THAT NO ONE CAN COME UP BEHIND
YOU AND WHACK YOU WITH A CANNOLI.
WHACK YOU WITH A CANNOLI? OH, BECAUSE
HE LEFT THE GUN AND TOOK THE CANNOLI.
YOU ARE SO MY DAUGHTER.
HEY, LET'S SIT AT THE COUNTER.
NO, THOSE ARE NOT
THE POWER SEATS.
YES, BUT WITH NO ONE HERE,
WE CAN SIT AT EITHER END
AND PLAY BAGEL HOCKEY.
OH, BAGEL HOCKEY. OH, BOY.
JUST SIT AT A TABLE.
OH, YOU'RE AWFULLY RUDE FOR A GUY
WHO ONLY HAS 2 PAYING CUSTOMERS.
OK, 3:30 ON FRIDAY: MY DEBATE
AT CHILTON, WRITE IT DOWN.
ALREADY WRITTEN.
GOOD.
YOU PREPARED?
PLEASE. PARIS HAS
US BEYOND PREPARED.
NOW I KNOW MORE ABOUT DOCTOR-ASSISTED
SUICIDE THAN I EVER CARE TO.
CHEERY TOPIC.
LUKE'S. UH-HUH.
HOLD ON A SECOND. IT'S FOR YOU.
WHAT?
YEP.
BUT WHO KNOWS WE'RE HERE?
THIS WHOLE MORNING
HAS BEEN TWILIGHT ZONE-Y.
OR OUTER LIMITS-Y.
WHAT?
GREAT SHOW, JUST
AS EERIE, SAME ERA,
BUT NO ONE EVER REFERENCES IT.
OH, I'M... I'M SORRY,
I DON'T SPEAK GEEK.
YEP, STEPPED RIGHT IN IT.
HELLO?
RORY?
LANE? HOW DID YOU
KNOW I WAS HERE?
TELESCOPE. I'VE GOT A
CLEAN SHOT AT LUKE'S.
I SAW YOU AND YOUR MOM GO IN.
HEY, WATCH IT.
YEAH, DUCK, HARVEY.
ARE YOU STILL GROUNDED OVER
THAT WHOLE HENRY THING, HUH?
ARE YOU KIDDING?
IT'S THE MOTHER
OF ALL GROUNDINGS.
MOM'S DONE EVERYTHING BUT SLAP
A DR. DRE ANKLE BRACELET ON ME.
I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO SCHOOL.
ISN'T THAT ILLEGAL TO
KEEP A KID OUT OF SCHOL?
WELL, SHE TALKED
MY TEACHERS INTO
ME BEING HOME-SCHOOLED
FOR 2 WEEKS.
THE WORDS "HIGHLY
CONTAGIOUS" WERE BANDIED ABOUT.
I GET 5 MINUTES A DAY
OF OUTSIDE PHONE TIME.
UNLIMITED TIME TO CALL
THE PSALM-A-DAY LINE.
A BIG RIP-OFF BY TH EWAY BECAUSE PSALM
79 HAS BEEN ON THERE FOR 3 STRAIGHT DAYS.
THAT'S NOT IN KEEPING WITH
WHAT THEIR NAME IMPLIES
WHICH IS A NEW PSALM
PER DAY EVERY DAY
NOT THE SAME TIRED ONE
FROM THE PREVIOUS 2 DAYS.
I'VE NEVER HEARD ANYONE GET
SO RILED UP ABOUT PSALMS BEFORE.
MY WORLD HAS BECOME VERY SMALL.
OK, I'M DYING FOR NEWS.
GIVE ME SOME HEADLINES.
WELL, I'VE GOT A
DEBATE COMING UP
AND, UH, DEAN'S BEEN
WORKING EXTRA HOURS LATELY
SAVING UP FOR A NEW
MOTORCYCLE, SO I HARDLY SEE HIM.
MOM AND I HAVEN'T
DONE LAUNDRY IN 3 WEEKS,
BUT I'VE TAKEN TO JUMPING INTO
THE HUGE PILE OF DIRTY CLOTHES
AS WE PLAY OUR READER'S DIGEST
WORLD'S FAMOUS POLKAS C.D.
WE GOT IT USED FOR 99
CENTS. SORRY IF THAT'S BORING.
ARE YOU KIDDING? THAT'S THE
MOST STIMULATION I'VE GOT IN A WEEK.
LANE, COME DOWN FOR YOUR SNACK.
IT'S TEA-AND-MELBA-TOAST
TIME. GOTTA GO.
DON'T FORGET ME IN MY SOLITUDE.
NEVER.
BYE.
THINK FAST.
OH, IMPRESSIVE.
ARE YOU THINKING
WHAT I'M THINKING?
WHAT?
GOALIE FOR THE
BAGEL-HOCKEY TEAM.
AND BUMP SCHMITTY?
SCHMITTY'S OVER THE HILL. HE'S
WASHED UP. PUT HIM IN COOPERSTOWN.
SUIT UP, KID.
CALL ME IF ANYONE SANE WALKS IN.
♪
♪ IF YOU'RE OUT ON THE ROAD ♪
♪ FEELING LONELY, AND SO COLD ♪
♪ ALL YOU HAVE TO
DO IS CALL MY NAME ♪
♪ AND I'LL BE THERE
ON THE NEXT TRAIN ♪
♪ WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW ♪
♪ ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO ♪
♪ IF YOU NEED, YOU
NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU ♪
♪ I WILL FOLLOW, OH ♪
♪ WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW ♪
♪ ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO ♪
♪ IF YOU NEED, YOU
NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU ♪
♪ I WILL FOLLOW WHERE YOU LEAD ♪
THERE'S NOTHING ON.
THERE'S ALWAYS SOMETHING ON.
HUH! STRUCK GOLD.
NOT THE 2 FAT LADIES AGAIN.
WHY NOT? THEY'RE BRILLIANT.
IT'S A COOKING SHOW
AND YOU DON'T COOK.
THAT MIGHT CHANGE.
NOT A CHANCE. PROBABLY NOT.
WE'VE SEEN ALL OF
THEM LIKE 5 TIMES.
THEY'RE ALL REPEATS.
YES, SADLY, BECAUSE ONE OF
THE FAT LADIES MET HER MAKER.
REALLY? WHICH ONE?
THE FAT ONE.
COME ON. WHICH ONE? THE ONE ON THE
MOTORCYCLE OR THE ONE IN THE SIDECAR?
SEE? IT'S FUN JUST TALKING
ABOUT THE 2 FAT LADIES.
CAN'T WE FIND SOME OTHER
REALLY FAT PEOPLE TO WATCH?
WOW. THAT SOUNDED
REALLY INSENSITIVE.
PARIS.
CAN I COME IN?
I GUESS.
SO, YOU COULDN'T POSSIBLY BE
WONDERING WHAT I'M DOING HERE.
I COULDN'T?
THE DEBATE'S FRIDAY. AND
WE NEED MORE PREPARATION.
MORE PREPARATION?
PARIS, NO 2 PEOPLE KNOW MORE ABOUT
ASSISTED SUICIDE THAN THE 2 OF US.
KEVORKIAN CALLED TODAY
FOR A COUPLE OF TIPS.
THERE'S ISSUES OF PRESENTATION
THAT NEED TO BE ADDRESSED.
PRESENTATION?
I WAS LISTENING TO
THE C.D. AND CASSETTES
I MADE OF OUR MOCK
DEBATES AND I REALIZED
THAT YOU WERE NOT
TALKING FAST ENOUGH.
WHAT?
YOU'RE ONLY DOING 135 W.P.M.
W.P.M.? "WORDS PER MINUTE."
OF COURSE.
THAT'S SLOW. THAT'S NOT SLOW.
IT'S JIMMY BOB SLOW.
I TALK NORMALLY.
FOR THE AVERAGE WILLIE
NELSON ROADIE, YES,
BUT NOT FOR A WINNING
DEBATE MEMBER.
AS A COMPARISON, I SPEAK
AN AVERAGE OF 178 W.P.M.
OK, WORD SPEED ISN'T EVERYTHING.
SOMETIMES I WILL
ADD A DRAMATIC PAUSE
TO PROVE A POINT,
UNDERCUTTING MY W.P.M.
LET'S NOT HARBOR ANY
PINTERESQUE FANTASIES HERE, RORY.
WE'LL HAVE SCANT MINUTES
TO MAKE OUR ARGUMENT
AND WE HAVE TO MAXIMIZE
OUR COLLECTIVE W.P.M.
OK. OK, LET'S JUST GET GOING.
HEY, PARIS, WERE
WE EXPECTING YOU?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN.
I'M GOING TO GET SET UP.
I'M GOING TO MY ROOM
TO WORK ON MY W.P.M.
DO I WANNA KNOW?
NO.
I'LL GET IT!
HELLO?
HEY, LOR, IT'S CHRIS.
HOW'S IT GOIN'?
GOOD. GOOD.
I'M ON A BUSINESS TRIP HERE, AND
I THOUGHT I'D CHECK IN ON RORY.
UH, SHE WENT TO SOME BIKER PARTY A
FEW DAYS AGO AND NEVER CAME BACK.
AGAIN?
WE GOTTA START
DISCIPLINING THAT GIRL.
HEY, WHO'S GOT THE TIME?
SHE'S RIGHT HERE.
I'LL PASS YOU TO HER.
SO, WHERE DID THIS
BUSINESS TRIP TAKE YOU?
THE LITCHFIELD AREA.
REALLY? HOW LONG?
A COUPLE OF DAYS, OR
FOR AS LONG AS IT TAKES
FOR THEM TO SUCCUMB
TO MY INFINITE CHARM.
WELL, IF YOU'RE
STILL HERE ON FRIDAY,
YOU SHOULD COME ON DOWN AND
SEE RORY IN A DEBATE AT CHILTON.
REALLY?
YEAH, IT STARTS AT 3:30.
AND FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED.
THEY'RE EXPECTING 20,000 PEOPLE,
SO I'D GET THERE EARLY.
WOW, CHILTON UP CLOSE, HUH?
YEAH, IT'S YOUR CHANCE TO
SEE THE FAMOUS PARIS IN ACTION.
THERE MIGHT EVEN BE CASUALTIES.
OK, TELL RORY I'LL BE THERE.
REALLY?
WHY NOT?
OH, SHE'LL BE EXCITED.
TELL HER YOURSELF.
PASS ME ON.
DAIRY'S BAD, TOO
BECAUSE OF THE MUCUS.
YOU HAVEN'T HAD ANY DAIRY IN
THE LAST 48 HOURS, HAVE YOU?
IN MY CEREAL THIS MORNING.
GEEZ. OK, WELL, THERE'S
A SOLUTION OF SALT WATER
AND VINEGAR THAT
CAN HELP CUT THAT.
GIRLS, I'M SORRY TO INTERRUPT
THE VINEGAR HOUR, BUT IT'S YOUR DAD.
DAD, HI.
DID YOU GIVE HER THE CEREAL?
UM, I'D RATHER NOT SAY.
HELLO?
IT'S ME.
LANE, THIS IS FLAT-OUT STALKING.
LOOK, I DON'T HAVE
MUCH TIME. I'VE ALREADY
USED UP MY 5 MINUTES
OF PHONE TIME,
BUT I HAD TO TALK TO YOU.
THERE'S A NEW BELLE AND
SEBASTIAN SINGLE COMING OUT TODAY.
I KNOW.
I HAVE TO HAVE IT. OK, WELL.
I HAVE TO HAVE IT.
I DON'T KNOW IF I HAVE
TIME TO PICK IT UP.
WHAT?
DO YOU WANT TO HEAR HOW I USED
UP MY 5 MINUTES OF PHONE TIME TODAY?
IN A PACKAGE WITH A RETURN ADDRESS
REFERENCING SOMETHING KOREAN AND RELIGIOUS.
WOULDN'T DO IT, HUH?
I THINK THEY NOTIFIED
THE GOVERNMENT.
CAN'T YOU WAIT FOR YOUR
GROUNDING TO BE OVER?
HEY, I AM A FANATIC AUDIOPHILE.
THAT COMES WITH RESPONSIBILITIES
THAT A GROUNDING
DOESN'T ALTER NOW.
I HAVE TO HAVE THIS SINGLE
AND YOU HAVE TO GET IT TO ME.
OK, OK, I'LL DO MY BEST.
THANK YOU. I HAVE TO GO.
OH, HEY.
WHAT?
AND YOU'VE GOT
SOMETHING IN YOUR TEETH.
STOP THAT.
HEY, THERE YOU ARE.
WHERE WERE YOU?
OH, HI.
I THOUGHT WE'D MEET
BY THE VENDING MACHINES
FOR A LITTLE PRE-DEBATE
NON-DAIRY SNACK.
PARIS WANTED TO DO A SOUND CHECK
AND SHE FOUND SOME PROBLEMS
WITH THE ACOUSTICS HERE.
THE LAYOUT ON THIS ROW OF
SEATS IS CAUSING A BASS PROBLEM.
WE'VE GOT TO MOVE THIS
WHOLE ROW OVER A FOOT. ESTA!
JUST MOVE THESE PEOPLE OUT.
BETTER FIND A SEAT
BEFORE SHE MOVES THEM ALL.
HAVE FUN.
THANKS. GLAD YOU CAME.
NO, YOU'RE NOT.
WHAT?
I'M JUST GETTING
YOU IN THE MOOD.
DID YOU SEE
CHRISTOPHER ANYWHERE?
UH, WELL, NO. NO, NO.
HEY, WHAT DOES HE LOOK LIKE?
IF YOU DON'T KNOW,
WHY ARE YOU LOOKING?
I'M LOOKING FOR A GUY THAT LOOKS
LIKE A GUY THAT YOU COULD BE WITH
ONLY I'M DEDUCTING 17 YEARS
OFF HIS AGE AND I'M ADDING
AN ALL-BOYS PRIVATE SCHOOL
UNIFORM AND A YANKEES CAP.
AND DOES YOUR HEAD HURT?
YEAH, IT DOES.
IF EVERYBODY COULD PLEASE
TAKE THEIR SEATS, WE'LL BEGIN.
THAT INCLUDES ALL THE
MEMBERS OF THE DEBATE TEAMS.
BRAD. HI.
HI, RORY.
I DIDN'T THINK
YOU'D REMEMBER ME.
OF COURSE I DO. HOW'S
YOUR NEW SCHOOL?
I LOVE IT.
IT'S WAY MORE MELLOW THERE,
AND I MADE A TON OF FRIENDS.
GOOD FOR YOU.
WELL, BRAD.
PARIS.
GUESS WE'RE GOING
MANO A MANO TODAY, HUH?
OH, GOD.
ALL RIGHT. THE TOPIC FOR TODAY'S
DEBATE IS DOCTOR-ASSISTED SUICIDE.
THAT'S PLEASANT.
LET ME INTRODUCE THE DEBATERS.
ON THE HILLSIDE
ACADEMY TEAM, WE HAVE
BRAD LANGFORD AND
NANCY WATERFORD.
YOU LOOK SICK.
I FEEL SICK.
AND ON THE CHILTON TEAM, WE HAVE
RORY GILMORE AND PARIS GELLER.
WERE WE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT?
MAYBE NO ONE NOTICED.
EACH TEAM WILL HAVE 3
MINUTES FOR THEIR OPENINGS,
3 MINUTES FOR REBUTTALS, AND 2
MINUTES FOR THEIR CONCLUSIONS.
THEY WILL BE JUDGED ON THE BASIS
OF CONTENT, STRATEGY, AND STYLE.
I WILL BE THE JUDGE ALONG
WITH MRS. GLADSTONE.
MRS. O'MALLEY IS IMPREGNABLE,
BUT YESTERDAY I COMPLIMENTED
MRS. GLADSTONE'S DUMPY OUTFIT
AND BOUGHT HER AN
ICE-CREAM SANDWICH.
SHE PRACTICALLY LICKED
MY HAND IN GRATITUDE.
NICE GOING.
WE CHOOSE WHICH TEAM TAKES THE
PRO OR CON SIDE WITH THE TOSS OF A COIN.
A MEMBER OF HILLSIDE
WILL MAKE THE CALL.
HEADS.
NO, TAILS! I MEAN TAILS!
AH, IT'S HEADS.
CHILTON WILL PICK. PRO OR CON?
PRO ASSISTED SUICIDE.
WHAT A SHOCK.
ALL RIGHT. WHENEVER YOU'RE
READY, YOU MAY COMMENCE.
THANK YOU. KEEP IT SNAPPY.
THERE ARE MANY VANTAGE POINTS
FROM WHICH TO CONSIDER
DOCTOR-ASSISTED SUICIDE.
SERIOUS CONSIDERATION
DRAWS FROM ETHICS, LAW,
MEDICAL PRACTICES,
PHILOSOPHY, PSYCHOLOGY,
PUBLIC POLICY, AND RELIGION,
ALL TOPICS I PLAN TO EXPLORE IN
THE NEXT 2 MINUTES AND 46 SECONDS.
GEEZ. LOOK AT THAT
KID. HE'S SHAKING.
AND PALE.
HE LOOKS ALL WHITE AND TINY.
EITHER INFORMATION
OR THE ACTUAL MEANS,
SUCH AS MEDICATION
OR OTHER SUPPLIES
TO A PERSON WHO WISHES TO
TERMINATE HIS OR HER OWN LIFE.
THE PATIENT MUST THEN
INITIATE THE PROCESS.
THE GOAL IS EUTHANASIA, A TERM
WITH ITS ROOTS IN ANCIENT GREEK.
AND REFERENCING THEIR LAST POINT
WHICH ERRONEOUSLY
CITED SOUTH CAROLINA
AS A STATE THAT HAS NEITHER
A STATUTE NOR COMMON LAW
WHICH PROHIBITS
ASSISTED SUICIDE,
WHEN WE KNOW THAT NORTH
CAROLINA IS THE PROPER CITATION,
THEIR SUBSEQUENT
ARGUMENT FALLS SHORT
OF EVEN A LEVEL OF SPECIOUSNESS
DUE TO THE FACT THAT IT DOESN'T
EVEN HAVE A RING OF FACTUAL TRUTH,
LET ALONE ITS SUBSTANCE.
AND AFTER ALL, THE ABSENCE OF
PROHIBITION AGAINST ASSISTED SUICIDE
IS A FAR CRY FROM A STATUTE WHICH
ACTUALLY LEGITIMIZES THE PRACTICE,
A STATE OF AFFAIRS WHICH TODAY
EXISTS ONLY IN
OREGON, SADLY ENOUGH,
UNDER THE 1997 DEATH
WITHOUT DIGNITY ACT.
HEY, CIRCUS LADY, WHAT'S
WITH THE CONTORTIONS?
I'M TRYING TO SNEAK A PEEK AT
THE GIRL CHRISTOPHER'S WITH.
BUT YOU SEE, THE CONCEPT BEHIND
"SNEAK" IS NOT HAVING PEOPLE NOTICE YOU,
AND WHAT YOU'RE DOING
IS SHOUTING, "NOTICE ME!"
TELL ME YOU'RE NOT CURIOUS.
I'M NOT CURIOUS.
YOU ARE, TOO.
WE'LL MEET HER IN A
MATTER OF MINUTES.
COME ON, WATCH THE TINY
SHAKING BOY GET SHORTER.
2 MINUTES FOR CONCLUSION.
CONCERNS THE INCREASINGLY
PRESSING NATURE
OF THIS DEBATE
AS THE BABY-BOOMER GENERATION
ENTERS THEIR GRAYING YEARS
AND BEGINS TO PLACE AN
INSUPPORTABLE BURDEN
OVER THE NATION'S ALREADY...
YOU SNEAK A LITTLE PEEK? SHH.
PROFESSOR BOWMAR OF WILLAMETTE
UNIVERSITY COLLEGE OF LAW
HAS PREPARED A LENGTHY SUMMARY
THAT I'D LIKE TO USE IN MY REMAINING TIME.
TIME. WHAT?
THAT'S IT. TIME'S UP.
IF I COULD HAVE A FEW SECONDS
TO REBUT THEIR CHARGE
OF THE CRUELTY OF THE ACT...
WE TAKE IT BACK.
YOU CAN'T TAKE IT
BACK. IT'S A DEBATE.
OK, THAT'S ENOUGH
CRUELTY FOR ONE DAY, PARIS.
YOUR TEAM HAS WON.
CONGRATULATIONS.
REALLY? THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
YOU PUT UP A GOOD FIGHT.
BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME.
YOU OK?
I'M SWEATING.
I'M COMPLETELY SOAKED THROUGH.
AND I THINK I'M CATCHING A COLD.
DO YOU NEED A HUG, OR A TOWEL?
NO, THANKS.
I THINK I'M JUST GONNA
SIT HERE QUIETLY.
HUH! THERE THEY ARE.
I SEE THEM, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
SHE'S GOT GOOD HAIR. PLUS,
SHE'S BEEN SITTING FOR AN HOUR
AND HER DRESS IS UNWRINKLED.
HOW DOES SHE DO THAT?
SHE MUST BE A WITCH.
SHE'S DOING THAT NO-HOSE THING.
NO, SHE'S A CHIC, GOOD-HAIRED,
WRINKLE-FREE, NO-HOSE-WEARING WITCH.
YOU READY?
YEAH.
HI, THERE, YOU TWO.
HEY, LORELAI. YOU GUYS
GET TO MEET AT LAST.
THIS IS...
SHERRIE.
NICE TO FINALLY MEET YOU.
I RECOGNIZE YOU FROM
YOUR CHRISTMAS CARD.
WHICH I'M SURE YOU
MOCKED MERCILESSLY.
DID NOT. OTHERS,
YES, BUT NOT YOURS.
YOU WERE CUTE. AND
THE PUPPY WAS CUTE.
HEY, THIS IS SOOKIE.
NICE TO MEET YOU.
NICE TO MEET YOU.
YOU HAVE A VERY SMOOTH DRESS.
OH, THANK YOU. IT'S THE FABRIC.
THE FABRIC.
CHRIS, I'VE TOLD
YOU ABOUT SOOKIE.
YES, YOU HAVE.
THE FAMOUS SOOKIE.
THE FAMOUS CHRISTOPHER.
I HEAR YOU'RE THE GREATEST
CHEF AFTER ALAIN DUCASSE.
AFTER ALAIN DUCASSE?
WHO... WHO SAID "AFTER"?
HI, DAD. YOU CAME.
OF COURSE I DID.
SORRY, I'M STILL
GETTING USED TO IT.
I'M GLAD.
HONEY, LOOK WHO DAD BROUGHT.
THIS IS SHERRIE.
SHERRIE, THIS IS RORY.
OH, FINALLY, FINALLY, FINALLY.
I AM SO BEYOND
THRILLED, I CAN'T TELL YOU.
ALL HE DOES IS TALK ABOUT YOU.
I COULDN'T WAIT TO MEET
THIS AMAZING PERSON.
OH, SHE LIVES UP TO THE
HYPE, LET ME TELL YOU.
IS MY FACE TURNING RED?
OH, YEAH, BEET RED.
OH, I'M SORRY. I PUT
YOU ON THE SPOT.
I'VE JUST BEEN REALLY
LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS.
NO, NO, NO, IT'S OK.
UH, WILL YOU EXCUSE
US FOR A MINUTE?
RORY JUST WANTED
TO SHOW ME SOMETHING
AROUND THE CORNER
HERE. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
SO RORY WAS GREAT, HUH.
BRILLIANT.
SO, WHO SAID I WAS
AFTER ALAIN DUCASSE?
HE BROUGHT SHERRIE. I KNOW.
THIS IS A LITTLE... YEAH.
DID YOU TALK, IS SHE NICE?
SHE'S A WITCH.
OH, GOOD.
SO W-WHAT DO WE DO?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
WE GOT TO PUT ON OUR HOSTESSING
HATS AND SET A GAME PLAN HERE.
IT WOULD BE IMPOLITE IF WE DIDN'T
ASK THEM TO HANG OUT WITH US.
DO WE HIT THE VENDING MACHINES?
INVITE THEM TO LUKE'S?
DOES SHE SEEM
LIKE A DINER CHICK?
PROBABLY NOT.
I WISH HE'D SAID SHE WAS
WITH HIM. WHERE ELSE?
AL'S PANCAKE WORLD.
IT'S FRIDAY. HE DOES
HIS PRIX-FIXE MENU.
THERE'S ALWAYS OUR HOUSE.
IT'S A MESS.
MIGHT BE THE SAFEST? OK.
WHY DIDN'T HE MENTION
SHE WAS WITH HIM?
I DON'T KNOW.
IT'S REALLY MORE
OF AN EXPRESSION
THAN SOMETHING I
PROBABLY ACTUALLY HEARD.
BUT MAYBE SOMEONE
IMPLIED THAT I WAS AFTER HIM?
OH, SOOKIE.
YEAH.
YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU ARE THE
GREATEST CHEF IN THE WORLD, BAR NONE.
THANKS.
SO, UM, ARE YOU GUYS
DOING ANYTHING NOW?
NOT REALLY.
NO, WE'RE PRETTY FREE
FOR THE REST OF THE DAY.
WELL, WHY DON'T YOU
COME AND SEE OUR PLACE?
OH, THAT WOULD BE GREAT!
YEAH, SURE, WE'D
LOVE THAT. THANKS, LOR.
I WAS HOPING WE'D SEE WHERE
RORY LIVES AND HER ROOM.
MY ROOM'S NO BIG DEAL.
OH, AND THE BOOKS.
I HAVE HEARD ALL
ABOUT THE BOOKS.
I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THE BOOKS.
LET'S GO AND SEE THE BOOKS.
RORY.
SO, GREAT JOB. WE PRETTY
MUCH WIPED THE FLOOR WITH THEM.
YEAH, WE TURNED THEM INTO
CLEANING PRODUCTS. DEFINITELY.
LISTEN, THE VERBATIM TRANSCRIPTS OF
THE DEBATE WILL BE READY IN A HALF-HOUR.
I THOUGHT WE COULD
WAIT FOR THEM AND TALK
ABOUT WHAT WE DID
RIGHT, AND WRONG,
COMPARE W.P.M.s.
WELL, I'M ACTUALLY
HEADING WITH MY GROUP
BACK TO OUR HOUSE,
SO I REALLY CAN'T.
OH.
OK. WHATEVER.
IF YOU DON'T WANT TO CELEBRATE
WITH ME, THAT'S JUST FINE!
YOU DO THE LIVING
ROOM, I'LL DO THE KITCHEN.
WHAT ABOUT THE UPSTAIRS?
I'LL BLOCK THE FOOL
WHO GOES UPSTAIRS!
COMPANY IS STRESSFUL.
DON'T FORGET YOUR ROOM!
WHAT?
YOUR ROOM! SHE WANTS
TO SEE THE BOOKS.
OH, I'LL HIT IT NEXT.
OH, THEY'RE PROBABLY GONNA
WANT SOMETHING TO EAT AND DRINK!
COMPANY USUALLY DOES.
WE HAVE NOTHING.
WE MUST HAVE SOMETHING.
ONLY IF DIVINE
PROVIDENCE HAS PLACED
A BRIE-AND-CRACKER
PLATE IN THE FRIDGE.
WE HAVE LEFTOVER
HALLOWEEN CANDY.
OH, WASTE THAT ON COMPANY?
HAVING COMPANY IS
ABOUT MAKING SACRIFICES.
MARTHA STEWART?
I PARAPHRASED PROUST.
I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN. FINE.
PRESENTATION IS EVERYTHING.
HELLO?
HI, DAD.
NEED SOME MORE TIME TO CLEAN UP?
HE KNOWS US TOO WELL.
COME ON IN.
HOW'D YOU KNOW WE WERE CLEANING?
WHEN YOU CUT US OFF IN THE
PARKING LOT AND SPED OFF DOING 60,
I FIGURED YOU WERE TRYING
TO BEAT US HOME FOR A REASON.
I HOPE WE'RE NOT
RUINING YOUR DAY.
OH, NO, WE LOVE
COMPANY. PLEASE, COME IN.
YOUR HOUSE IS GREAT.
THANKS, WE LIKE IT. HAVE A SEAT.
RORY, YOU WERE WONDERFUL
IN THE DEBATE TODAY.
THANKS.
THAT PARIS WAS A LITTLE INTENSE.
A LITTLE? THE OPPOSING TEAM
COULD BRING HER UP ON WAR CRIMES.
HER APPROACH WILL COME IN
HANDY WHEN SHE BECOMES A C.E.O.
OR A DICTATOR OF A
COUNTRY OR SOMETHING.
YOU WERE VERY POISED UP THERE, VERY
SURE OF YOURSELF, JUST LIKE YOUR DAD.
AND YOUR MOM.
OH, SHUCKS, PA.
AND YOUR UNIFORM IS DARLING.
REALLY I LOVE THE BLUE.
OF COURSE, I'M SURE YOU
LOOK GOOD IN ANYTHING.
YEAH, YOU SHOULD
SEE HER IN CHAPS.
REALLY?
NO. THAT WAS JUST
MY MOM BEING FUNNY.
OH.
YEAH, IT COMES AND GOES.
YOU'LL NOTICE THE SIGNS.
THE WAVES GET REALLY STILL, AND
THE ANIMALS START TO ACT FUNNY.
I WENT TO PRIVATE
SCHOOL, TOO. REALLY?
EXCEPT THAT OUR COLORS
WERE WHITE AND BRIGHT RED.
I LOOKED HIDEOUS.
SHE'S BEING SELF-DEPRECATING.
YOU LOOKED CUTE IN THAT OUTFIT.
NO, NO, I LOOKED LIKE
A PEPPERMINT STICK.
THAT'S WHERE MY ADDICTION
TO CLOTHES COMES FROM:
MAKING UP FOR YEARS OF HAVING
TO WEAR THE SAME THING EVERY DAY.
YEAH, I CAN UNDERSTAND THAT.
WE SHOULD GO SHOPPING SOMETIME
FOR CLOTHES OR WHATEVER.
YEAH. WE COULD DO THAT.
SOON, OK? SURE.
WHO WANTS SOMETHING TO DRINK?
I'VE GOT WATER, SODA...
UH, JUST WATER FOR ME.
ME, TOO.
MAKING IT EASY. I LOVE IT.
I'LL HELP YOU.
OH, NO... WELL, OK.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO HELP ME.
NO, I WANT TO.
GREAT.
SO, UH, DO YOU WANT
FLAT WATER OR SPARKLING?
I HOPE FLAT, 'CAUSE I
DON'T HAVE SPARKLING.
OR FLAT. OR ICE CUBES.
I HAVE CUPS, I THINK.
IT'S A LITTLE AWKWARD, ISN'T IT?
WHAT?
US.
YOU AND ME. OUR BEING HERE.
OH. NO, NOT REALLY.
BUT KIND OF, RIGHT?
WELL, WE'RE JUST
NOT USED TO COMPANY.
I MEAN, YOU AND CHRISTOPHER WERE
SO CLOSE. I KNOW IT WAS YEARS AGO,
BUT THESE THINGS
ARE NEVER SIMPLE.
JUST IN GENERAL, THINGS LIKE
THIS ARE ALWAYS AWKWARD,
SLIGHTLY, BUT ONLY SLIGHTLY.
AH, LOOK. APPLE JUICE.
WITH A PERFECTLY
RESPECTABLE EXPIRATION DATE.
LOOK, I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW
THAT YOU SHOULD NOT FEEL
LIKE YOU NEED TO GET TO KNOW ME.
OH. AT ALL.
OK.
I MEAN, JUST BECAUSE
CHRISTOPHER AND I ARE CLOSE
DOESN'T MEAN THAT
WE NEED TO BE CLOSE.
OR FRIENDS. OR ANYTHING,
FOR THAT MATTER.
NO, I GUESS NOT.
I MEAN, EXCEPT FOR OUR UNEXPECTED
VISIT, WE MAY NEVER HAVE EVEN MET.
WELL, I THINK WE WOULD
HAVE MET EVENTUALLY.
PERHAPS AT SOME
FUNCTION OR OTHER.
YEAH, YOU, ME, MARTIN SHEEN,
ALL CHAINED TO THE SAME TREE.
BUT I DO DESPERATELY
WANT TO KNOW RORY.
WELL, SURE, SHE'S A GREAT KID.
AND THAT'S OK WITH YOU?
YEAH, THAT'S FINE.
I'M SO GLAD TO HEAR THAT, BECAUSE
THINGS ARE KIND OF SPEEDING UP
BETWEEN ME AND
CHRISTOPHER AND...
REALLY?
RORY IS SO IMPORTANT TO HIM.
YEAH, I KNOW. SHE IS.
HE TOLD ME ABOUT HOW HE REALLY
WASN'T PRESENT IN HER LIFE FOR YEARS
AND HOW HE'D LIKE TO MAKE UP
FOR ALL THAT TIME THAT HE WASTED.
OH, HE'S BEEN DOING
REALLY WELL LATELY.
I KNOW. HE IS OBSESSIVE
ABOUT HIS CALL DATES TO HER.
I MEAN, IT DOESN'T MATTER WHERE
WE ARE OR WHAT WE'RE DOING,
HE'S GOT TO CALL RORY
WEDNESDAY NIGHTS AT 7:00.
I LIKE THAT ABOUT HIM.
YEAH. ME, TOO.
HE REALLY WANTS ME
TO BOND WITH HER, TOO.
IT'S IMPORTANT WITH
EVERYTHING WE HAVE COMING.
I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND.
GOOD. I'M GLAD.
YEAH.
SO WHAT ARE THE
CHANCES OF RORY AND I
GETTING TOGETHER ON THIS TRIP?
THIS TRIP? HOW ABOUT TONIGHT?
TONIGHT? RORY SEEMED UP FOR IT.
TONIGHT, HUH. IT'S
KIND OF LAST MINUTE
AND WE'RE SUPPOSED
TO GO SOMEWHERE.
THE FRIDAY-NIGHT DINNER
WITH YOUR PARENTS.
YOU KNOW ABOUT
THOSE? ALL ABOUT THEM.
BUT CHRISTOPHER
SAID YOU CAN GET HER
OUT OF THEM IF THERE'S
A PRESSING NEED.
WELL, THAT'S TRUE TO
A CERTAIN EXTENT, BUT...
THIS IS PRESSING.
I AM SO FORCING MYSELF
HERE, IT'S EMBARRASSING.
BUT THAT'S HOW IMPORTANT IT IS.
I MEAN, WHO KNOWS
WHEN THIS OPPORTUNITY
IS GOING TO PRESENT
ITSELF AGAIN. RIGHT?
RIGHT. SO?
WELL, UM...
SURE.
YOU'LL HAVE TO ASK RORY, BUT IF
IT'S OK WITH HER, IT'S OK WITH ME.
YOU KNOW, YOU'RE AS GREAT
AS CHRISTOPHER SAID YOU WERE.
WELL, HE'S AN EXCELLENT
JUDGE OF CHARACTER.
OK. I'LL SEE YOU BACK OUT THERE?
EVERYTHING OK?
YUP, SHE FOUND APPLE JUICE.
RORY, WILL YOU GET THAT, PLEASE?
LET THE MACHINE PICK IT UP.
NO, IT COULD BE IMPORTANT.
OK.
HELLO? HI, IT'S ME.
OH, HI.
I'M STILL IN THE KITCHEN.
LISTEN, JUST WANTED TO TELL
YOU THAT SHERRIE ASKED ME
IF BOTH OF YOU
COULD GO OUT TONIGHT.
SHE TRAPPED ME INTO SAYING I'D
GET YOU OUT OF FRIDAY DINNER.
SHE KNEW ALL ABOUT IT.
I SAID SHE HAD TO ASK YOU,
SO YOU CAN GET OUT OF IT.
BUT IT MAY BE GOOD TO GET THIS
OVER WITH, 'CAUSE IT SEEMS INEVITABLE.
IF YOU'RE OK GOING WITH HER, JUST SAY,
UM, "SORRY, LEONARD, I'LL CALL YOU BACK."
SORRY, LEONARD,
WE'VE GOT COMPANY.
CALL YOU BACK.
OK. BYE.
OK, HERE'S YOUR
DRINK. WHO WAS THAT?
UM, THAT WAS LEONARD.
DID YOU TELL HIM
WE HAVE COMPANY?
YEAH.
UH, WHO'S LEONARD?
JUST A FRIEND.
OF YOURS OR LORELAI'S?
MUTUAL FRIEND.
IT'S PRETTY MUCH EQUAL.
A MUTUAL LEONARD.
WE'RE CONSTANTLY
FIGHTING OVER HIM.
RORY, CAN I RUN
SOMETHING BY YOU?
OH, SURE.
YOUR DAD AND I ARE AROUND FOR
ANOTHER NIGHT, AND HE'S TOTALLY SICK OF ME.
NOT TRUE.
ANYHOW, I WAS
WONDERING IF YOU WANTED
TO DO SOMETHING WITH ME
TONIGHT. JUST THE TWO OF US.
SURE, THAT WOULD BE NICE.
REALLY?
YEAH, I MEAN, UH, IF
IT'S OK WITH MY MOM
BECAUSE WE DO HAVE A
GRANDMA-GRANDPA DINNER TONIGHT.
IT'S FINE BY ME.
GREAT. OF COURSE, THIS DOES
LEAVE YOU A SAD LITTLE ORPHAN.
I'LL HAVE ONE OF MY PATENTED
WHITE CASTLE BACHELOR DINNERS.
OR YOU CAN COME WITH ME
TONIGHT, UH, IF YOU WANT.
TO YOUR PARENTS?
YEAH, 'CAUSE WITH RORY NOT
THERE, I MIGHT NEED A HOSTAGE.
OH, YES, DO IT.
OK, IT'S GOOD GRUB.
YOU SURE THEY WON'T BE MAD?
THEY LIKE YOU.
TRUE.
GREAT. WE SHOULD GO GET
CLEANED UP FOR TONIGHT.
THANKS FOR HAVING
US OVER LIKE THIS.
ANYTIME.
WE'LL SWING BY AROUND 6:00.
SOUNDS GOOD.
BYE, SWEETIE.
BYE, DAD.
GOODBYE, LEONARD.
HONEY, HURRY, THEY SAID 6:00.
YEAH, BUT IT'S 6:00 DAD-TIME,
SO IT'S MORE LIKE 6:30.
DAD-TIME IS LINKED
TO SHERRIE-TIME.
SHERRIE SEEMS AWFULLY PUNCTUAL.
THAT'S SO ANNOYING.
THEY HAVE TO LIVE
WITH THEIR DEFICIENCIES.
I'LL GET IT.
IF IT'S LEONARD, I'LL CALL BACK.
HE'S SO NEEDY.
HELLO?
HUMONGOUS SNAG
IN THE C.D. DROP PLAN.
WHAT HAPPENED?
BIBLE CLASS HAS BEEN
MOVED AN HOUR LATER
ALL TO ACCOMMODATE THE
TEACHER'S HANDBALL SCHEDULE.
THE REVEREND PLAYS HANDBALL?
I'M JUST AS APPALLED.
SO IT'S AT 10:00
INSTEAD OF 9:00.
I'LL MAKE THE
NECESSARY ADJUSTMENTS.
THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
SO, ANYTHING NEW?
MY DAD BROUGHT HIS
GIRLFRIEND TO MY DEBATE.
THE POTENTIAL
STEPMOM? OH, MY GOD.
TELL ME WHAT'S SHE
LIKE? WHAT'D SHE SAY?
TELL ME IN 11 SECONDS 'CAUSE
THAT'S THE TIME I HAVE LEFT.
THAT'S TOO MUCH PRESSURE.
THEN WRITE A LONG,
DESCRIPTIVE LETTER
AND SLIP IT INTO
THE C.D. BOOKLET.
OH, AND INCLUDE A CANDID
POLAROID OF HER IF YOU CAN.
I'LL TRY. GOTTA GO.
BYE.
HEY, CAN WE COME IN?
YEAH, COME ON IN.
YOU LOOK GREAT.
YOU, TOO.
HI, THERE. YOU READY TO GO?
ALL SET.
OK, WE WON'T BE TOO LATE,
PROBABLY AROUND 10:00.
IF YOU WANT A DRINK, RORY'S GOT
THE LIST OF PLACES THAT SERVE MINORS.
I GOT A FLASK IN MY PURSE.
I'LL HAVE TO DRINK A LOT OF
COFFEE TO KEEP UP WITH YOU TWO.
DAMN, OUR SECRET'S
BEEN REVEALED.
BYE, LOVE.
HAVE FUN. OK.
BYE, SWEETS.
BYE.
THERE THEY GO.
YEAH, THERE THEY GO.
SHERRIE'S EXCITED ABOUT THIS.
SUCH A GREAT OPPORTUNITY, LOR.
THANKS FOR MAKING IT HAPPEN.
THAT'S WHAT I'M HERE FOR.
LET ME JUST GET MY
COAT, AND WE CAN GO.
GREAT.
CAN I ASK YOU A QUICK QUESTION?
SURE. WHAT?
WHEN I INVITED YOU TO RORY'S
DEBATE, WAS SHERRIE WITH YOU?
YEAH, OF COURSE. SHE'S BEEN
WITH ME THE WHOLE TRIP. WHY?
YOU GAVE ME NO INDICATION
THAT SHE WAS WITH YOU.
WHAT? I MUST HAVE.
NO, SINGULAR
PRONOUNS ALL THE WAY.
ACTUALLY I DON'T
REMEMBER WHAT I SAID.
I DO. YOU SAID, "I'LL BE
THERE," AS IN JUST YOU.
WELL, I MAY HAVE SAID THAT. BUT I
WASN'T MAKING A POINT OF SAYING THAT.
IT JUST CAME OUT THAT WAY.
OK, WHATEVER. I
WAS JUST WONDERING.
IT'S OK THAT I BROUGHT
SHERRIE ALONG, ISN'T IT?
ABSOLUTELY.
IT WAS JUST A
SURPRISE, THAT'S ALL.
OK.
YOU WEREN'T TRYING
TO HIDE THE FACT?
NO. I MEAN, OBVIOUSLY YOU'D FIND
OUT SHE WAS WITH ME ONCE WE ARRIVED.
OBVIOUSLY.
OK, THEN. OK.
SO WHAT DO YOU THINK OF HER?
OH, I DON'T KNOW HER
WELL ENOUGH TO JUDGE.
THAT'S NEVER STOPPED YOU
FROM JUDGING PEOPLE BEFORE.
HEY, BUDDY, I'M
TRYING TO GROW HERE.
SHE WAS SAYING REALLY
NICE THINGS ABOUT YOU.
REALLY?
YEAH. SHE SAID YOU GUYS
HAD A NICE TALK IN THE KITCHEN.
IF THAT'S WHAT SHE
SAID, THEN I GUESS WE DID.
LORELAI, COME ON. WHAT?
YOU'RE BEING VERY CRYPTIC.
DID SOMETHING HAPPEN
BETWEEN YOU TWO?
NO, I JUST...
I THOUGHT OUR CONVERSATION
IN THE KITCHEN WAS A LITTLE ODD.
AND THIS IS BEING LESS CRYPTIC?
IT'S JUST THAT SHE
WENT ON AND ON ABOUT
HOW WE NEVER HAVE TO BE FRIENDS
OR GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER AT ALL
OR TRY TO FORCE ANY
KIND OF RELATIONSHIP.
REALLY? SHE NEVER
MENTIONED THAT PART. HUH.
HOW COME SHE FIGURES
SHE NEVER HAS TO SEE ME?
I'M SURE SHE WAS TRYING TO MAKE
YOU FEEL AT EASE AROUND HER.
BECAUSE IT'S TRUE, YOU GUYS
DON'T HAVE TO FORCE ANYTHING.
WHERE'D SHE GET THIS
"DON'T FORCE IT" PHILOSOPHY?
NOT FROM ME.
YOU SURE?
YES, I'M SURE.
SO SHE JUST WANTS TO
GET TO KNOW RORY, NOT ME.
I DID STEER HER TOWARD
BONDING WITH RORY. I ADMIT THAT.
BUT NOT WITH ME.
RORY'S MY DAUGHTER, LORELAI.
SHERRIE HAS TO GET TO KNOW HER.
I KNOW.
I WASN'T PURPOSELY OMITTING YOU
OR SAYING NOT TO
INTERACT WITH YOU.
OH, GOOD, SO YOU'RE
NOT HAVING ME KILLED?
IN FACT I WAS JUST GOING
OVER MY "PEOPLE TO KILL" LIST,
AND I DON'T THINK
YOU WERE ON IT.
BECAUSE BY THE VERY FACT THAT
RORY EXISTS, I AM IN THE PICTURE.
YOU CAN BACK OFF, LORELAI,
YOU'LL BE IN SHERRIE'S LIFE.
GOOD.
NOT THAT YOU THOUGHT TO DO THE
SAME THING WHEN YOU WERE IN MY SHOES.
WHAT? WHAT ARE
YOU TALKING ABOUT?
YOU HAD A FIANCE, I BELIEVE.
YES. MAX.
RIGHT. MAX.
THAT WAS NOT THE SAME THING.
REALLY?
MAX KNEW RORY. MAX
GOT CLOSE TO RORY, RIGHT?
YES.
HE AND I NEVER MET.
I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HE
EXISTED UNTIL LATE IN THE GAME.
HELL, I DIDN'T KNOW
YOU WERE ENGAGED
TILL YOU CALLED ME FROM
YOUR BACHELORETTE PARTY.
AND I WASN'T INVITED
TO THE WEDDING.
OR DID MY INVITATION
GET LOST IN THE MAIL?
YOU'VE MOVED A
LOT THIS PAST YEAR.
I WAS NEVER PART
OF THAT EQUATION.
OK, MAYBE.
BUT TRUST ME, YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN
PART OF THE EQUATION EVENTUALLY.
REALLY, CHRIS, YOU WOULD HAVE.
THEN, TRUST ME,
LORELAI. EVENTUALLY,
YOU WOULD HAVE
BEEN PART OF THIS ONE.
CHRISTOPHER.
HELLO, EMILY.
WELL, THIS IS A
SURPRISE. WHERE'S RORY?
A LAST-MINUTE THING CAME UP,
BUT I BROUGHT A GOOD SUBSTITUTE.
HALF HER GENES IN A NICE,
NIFTY CHRISTOPHER PACKAGE.
WE'RE LETTING THE FREEZING
AIR GET IN. COME IN. COME IN.
IS SHE SICK?
THERE ARE TERRIBLE THINGS
MAKING THE ROUNDS THESE DAYS.
NO, SHE'S NOT SICK. HI, DAD.
HELLO, LORELAI.
CHRISTOPHER, THIS IS A SURPRISE.
A NICE ONE, I HOPE.
A VERY NICE ONE.
HOW ARE YOU, RICHARD?
YOU'RE LOOKING WELL.
SO ARE YOU. YOU PLAYING
A LOT OF GOLF LATELY?
UH, WELL, MORE
LIKE IT'S PLAYING ME.
LET'S NOT STAND HERE.
COME INTO THE LIVING ROOM.
NOW WHO WANTS A DRINK?
UH, MARTINI, MANHATTAN,
SOME SCOTCH?
YES, PLEASE.
YOU WANT TO NARROW
THAT DOWN FOR ME?
HOOCH IS HOOCH, DAD.
I'LL HAVE A MANHATTAN.
SAME HERE.
SO YOU NEVER SAID WHERE RORY IS.
RORY'S NOT HERE?
RICHMOND, YOU DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE
YOUR OWN GRANDDAUGHTER ISN'T HERE?
WELL, SHE'S SO QUIET. SHE
SOMETIMES SLIPS IN UNNOTICED.
SHE SHOULD WORK FOR THE C.I.A.
ONE CHERRY GOOD FOR EVERYBODY?
FINE WITH ME. ME, TOO.
8, PLEASE. I'M PECKISH.
WELL, I NOTICED
THAT RORY ISN'T HERE.
YOU'VE GOT THAT EAGLE EYE, MOM.
I'M AFRAID, IT'S MY FAULT. MY GIRLFRIEND
AND I WERE PASSING THROUGH TOWN
AND WE DROPPED BY
STARS HOLLOW FOR A VISIT.
AND SHE AND RORY ARE OFF
DOING SOMETHING TOGETHER.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
SHERRIE.
AND SHE AND RORY
ARE OUT TOGETHER?
I'M SORRY. I SHOULD
HAVE CALLED, MOM.
THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN THOUGHTFUL.
I MEAN, WE SET A PLACE FOR HER
AT THE TABLE AND EVERYTHING.
WELL, CHRIS IS HERE,
SO IT WON'T GO TO WASTE.
NORMALLY I DEMAND MY OWN
CUSTOMIZED PLACE SETTING.
SO HOW LONG HAVE YOU
BEEN WITH THIS WOMAN?
8 MONTHS.
HMM. I'LL BET SHE'S PRETTY.
YES, SHE'S VERY PRETTY.
SOMETHING IN YOUR EYE, LORELAI?
I GOT IT.
YOU'VE MET THIS WOMAN?
YES, MOM, I MET HER
TODAY. AND SHE'S VERY NICE.
WHAT DOES SHE DO? DOES SHE WORK?
UH, SHE'S THE EAST COAST
SALES REP FOR L'OREAL COSMETICS.
HMM, SOUNDS LIKE A
LOT OF RESPONSIBILITY.
IT KEEPS HER BUSY,
INVOLVES SOME TRAVEL.
WHAT ARE THEY DOING? WHAT?
RORY AND CHRISTOPHER'S FRIEND.
WHAT ARE THEY DOING TONIGHT?
DINNER AND A MOVIE.
SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
IT'S MY FAULT THAT
WE DIDN'T CALL.
YOUR WORK HAS
YOU TRAVELING, TOO.
SOME.
EVERYONE THINKS THAT TRAVELING
ON BUSINESS IS SO GLAMOROUS.
BUT WHAT THEY DON'T REALIZE
IS THAT THE BUSINESS TRAVELER
NEVER GETS TO SEE THE PLACES HE VISITS.
MY LAST TRIP TO ROME,
I SPENT THE WHOLE 4 DAYS IN A
CONFERENCE ROOM BY THE AIRPORT.
MIGHT AS WELL HAVE BEEN
IN FRENCH LICK, INDIANA.
MY TRIPS ARE MOSTLY
LOCAL, JUST ME AND MY VOLVO.
YOU HAVE A VOLVO?
THAT'S NEW, ISN'T IT?
I JUST GOT IT.
EXCELLENT CHOICE.
IT'S NICE AND SAFE.
THAT'S A GOOD FAMILY CAR.
IT'S ALSO EXCELLENT
FOR CRANKING METALLICA.
CRANKING METALLICA. MMM-HMM.
IF THAT'S SOME SORT OF DRUG
REFERENCE, IT ISN'T FUNNY.
SO YOU'RE PLANNING
ON HAVING A FAMILY?
WHAT? WITH THIS WOMAN.
HER NAME'S SHERRIE, MOM.
YOU'RE PUTTING CHRIS
ON THE SPOT HERE.
WELL, HE BOUGHT A FAMILY CAR.
IT'S A NATURAL QUESTION.
DAD CALLED IT A FAMILY CAR.
I'M SURE THE SALES
CONTRACT DOESN'T SAY
YOU HAVE TO HAVE A FAMILY
IN ORDER TO BUY THE CAR.
THOUGH I DIDN'T
READ THE FINE PRINT.
YOU ALWAYS DROVE A
MOTORCYCLE BEFORE, DIDN'T YOU?
I STILL GOT IT.
OH, A FAMILY MAN SHOULDN'T
RIDE A MOTORCYCLE.
THE ACCIDENTS I
COVERED FOR THE FIRM
INVOLVING
MOTORCYCLES, THE WORST.
GRISLY. THEY USE THIS
INDUSTRIAL MACHINE
TO SCRAPE THE VICTIMS OFF
THE ROAD LIKE A HUGE SPATULA.
HEY, MOUTHFUL OF CHERRIES HERE.
SO ARE YOU LIVING TOGETHER?
MOM, GET OUT THE INTERROGATION
LAMP, WHY DON'T YOU?
YEAH, BUT WE'RE LOOKING FOR
SOMETHING BIGGER IN THE BOSTON AREA.
THERE ARE A LOT OF
NICE, HISTORICAL PLACES.
SOMETHING HISTORICAL IN OUR
PRICE RANGE WOULD BE PERFECT.
YOU KNOW HISTORICAL HOMES
ARE INFESTED WITH MOLD, DON'T YOU?
MOLD?
IT GETS INSIDE THE WALLS AND GROWS
OUT OF SIGHT AND SHOOTS OFF SPORES
THAT SLOWLY KILL
YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.
YOU SHOULD GET A SHOW ON THE
HOME AND GARDEN CHANNEL, MOM.
WHEN DID YOU BECOME
AN EXPERT ON MOLD, EMILY?
IT WAS IN THE NEW
YORK TIMES MAGAZINE.
I'D HOLD OFF BUYING A PLACE WITH
THIS WOMAN UNTIL YOU LOOK INTO THIS.
SHERRIE. SHERRIE.
IT'S ACTUALLY GONNA COME DOWN
TO WHATEVER WE CAN AFFORD.
IT MIGHT JUST BE A
NEWLY-BUILT PLACE.
WITH THEIR SHODDY
CRAFTSMANSHIP? YOU DON'T WANT THAT.
WHAT DOES THAT
LEAVE THEM, A TEEPEE?
I'M SORRY. I JUST DON'T THINK THAT
RORY SHOULD MISS OUR DINNERS
FOR SOMETHING OTHER THAN
SICKNESS OR EMERGENCIES.
THAT WAS THE AGREEMENT.
I'M SORRY, EMILY. REALLY.
MOM, CHRIS HAS APOLOGIZED LIKE A
HUNDRED TIMES. HOW MANY MORE DO YOU WANT?
LISTEN, I CAN CALL SHERRIE AND HAVE
HER AND RORY COME BY AFTER THEIR MOVIE.
THAT WAY, IT WON'T BE A
TOTALLY RORY-LESS EVENING.
THAT'S NOT WHAT I WANT.
MOM, WE'RE DESPERATELY
TRYING TO WORK WITH YOU.
WORKING WITH ME IS ONE THING,
PATRONIZING ME IS ANOTHER.
EXCUSE ME.
I FEEL HORRIBLE.
DON'T, SON. THAT'S JUST EMILY.
I'LL GO SEE WHAT I CAN DO.
YOU WANNA TELL ME
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
HOW CAN YOU LET THAT HORRIBLE
WOMAN TAKE RORY LIKE THAT?
HEY, MOM. CALM DOWN.
IT'S ONLY ONE NIGHT.
THAT'S HOW IT STARTS.
SHE'S GETTING HER
CLAWS INTO HER.
HER CLAWS?
WE'LL NEVER SEE RORY AGAIN
IF THAT WOMAN HAS HER WAY.
MOM, HOLD IT. RORY IS
MY DAUGHTER, YOU KNOW.
I HAVE SOME CONTROL OVER THIS.
SHE'S NOT GETTING RORY ON
WEEKENDS. YOU CAN'T LET THAT HAPPEN.
WHAT IS THIS ABOUT? WHY
ARE YOU SO FLIPPED OUT?
LORELAI, ARE YOU BLIND
OR JUST THAT HUMILIATED?
HUMILIATED?
CHRISTOPHER GETS HIS LIFE
TOGETHER WITH THAT WOMAN.
SO THAT'S GOOD.
IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN YOU.
WHAT?
DON'T PLAY DUMB,
LORELAI. YOU KNOW IT, TOO.
AND DEEP DOWN, I KNOW
YOU'RE HEARTBROKEN.
I'M NOT HEARTBROKEN.
WELL, I AM.
I ALWAYS HAVE THE PICTURE IN MY
MIND OF THE THREE OF YOU TOGETHER.
AFTER ALL THESE YEARS, AND ALL
THE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPENED,
RORY WITH BOTH HER PARENTS.
AND NOW THAT CHRISTOPHER'S GOT HIS
LIFE TOGETHER, IT'S WITH HER, NOT YOU.
MOM, THE TIMING WAS
NEVER RIGHT FOR US.
THAT'S BECAUSE YOU
DAWDLE TIME AWAY.
YOU COULD'VE HAD
THAT EFFECT ON HIM.
IT COULD'VE BEEN THE PERSON TO
HELP HIM GET HIS LIFE TOGETHER,
BUT YOU MADE NO EFFORT.
SO NOW THIS COMES DOWN TO SOMETHING I
DIDN'T DO? DON'T PUT THAT ON ME, MOTHER!
WHAT OTHER EXPLANATION IS THERE?
HE'S ALWAYS BEEN
CRAZY ABOUT YOU,
BUT YOU ALWAYS KEPT HIM AT
ARM'S LENGTH, LIKE YOU DO EVERYONE.
THAT'S NOT TRUE. IT IS TRUE.
YOUR DESTINY WAS TO BE WITH
CHRISTOPHER. NOW IT'S TOO LATE.
THEN IT WASN'T OUR DESTINY!
SO YOU'RE SAYING YOU DON'T
HAVE FEELINGS FOR HIM, LORELAI,
THAT ALL OF THIS IS
JUST FINE WITH YOU?
THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT. IT'S NOT?
NO. WHAT'S IMPORTANT IS THAT
CHRISTOPHER IS DOING WELL AND HE'S HAPPY,
AND WE SHOULD BE HAPPY FOR HIM.
YOU'RE IMPOSSIBLE.
I NEED TO LIE DOWN.
TELL CHRISTOPHER...
TELL HIM WHATEVER
YOU LIKE, I DON'T CARE.
HEY.
HEY.
YOU ALONE THIS MORNING?
NO, RORY'S WITH ME.
SHE JUST HAD TO RUN AN ERRAND.
TAKE WHATEVER TABLE YOU WANT.
OK.
YOU OK? YEAH.
YOU DON'T SEEM
YOUR CHIPPER SELF.
I BROUGHT SOME SPARKLERS.
I'LL LIGHT THEM LATER
AND DO SOME KICKS.
I CAN CLEAR THE COUNTER, AND
YOU CAN PLAY BAGEL HOCKEY.
YOU CAN'T PLAY BY YOURSELF.
I'LL PLAY WITH YOU.
YOU'LL HAVE TO
EXPLAIN THE RULES.
IT'S OK.
I'M JUST RECOVERING
FROM LAST NIGHT.
IT WAS ONE OF THOSE NIGHTS
WHERE YOU START OFF
STEPPING IN QUICKSAND
AND END UP WITH A 16-TON
ANVIL LANDING ON YOUR HEAD.
I'VE HAD LOTS OF THOSE.
I'LL BRING YOU SOME COFFEE.
CAN'T HURT.
YOU ORDER?
NO, JUST COFFEE.
I MUST HAVE BEEN SOUND ASLEEP
WHEN YOU GOT HOME LAST NIGHT.
YOU WERE SNORING
LIKE A BUZZ SAW.
I BELIEVE THAT'S DEFINED
AS A SUPERFLUOUS COMMENT.
YES, YOU WERE SOUND ASLEEP.
SO, I'M DYING TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR
NIGHT WITH SHERRIE. HOW WAS IT?
GIVE IT TO ME, "A" TO "Z",
BEGINNING TO END, SOUP TO NUTS.
WELL, SHE IS WHAT SHE SEEMS.
DETAILS, PLEASE.
SHE'S A VERY CAUTIOUS DRIVER, SHE
DOESN'T ROLL THROUGH STOP SIGNS,
DOESN'T SPEED, SHE ALWAYS
SIGNALS BEFORE SHE TURNS.
COMMENDABLE, BUT NOT THE PERSON
I WANT DRIVING OUR GETAWAY CAR.
WHAT ARE WE ROBBING?
SEPHORA. WE'D PLANNED IT.
SLIPPED MY MIND.
WHAT'S HER MUSIC TASTE?
BIG BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN
FAN, SEEN HIM LIKE 20 TIMES.
BLUE-COLLAR ROOTS OR
IS SHE JUST SLUMMING?
HER FATHER OWNED A SHOE STORE,
AND HER MOM TAUGHT KINDERGARTEN.
WOW. YOU GUYS GOT INTO DETAILS.
SHE WAS DEFINITELY
IN BONDING MODE.
WHAT ELSE? WHAT ELSE?
SHE'S VERY TOUCHY-FEELY, HAND
ON THE SHOULDER, LOTS OF HUGS.
DID SHE TRY TO GET FRESH?
GROSS.
GO ON.
UH, SHE'S HAD ONE PRIOR
SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP IN HER LIFE.
FINALLY, THE JUICY STUFF.
AND IT LASTED 11 YEARS.
11 YEARS AND SHE
NEVER GOT MARRIED?
SHE SAID SHE NEVER THOUGHT
ABOUT IT BECAUSE OF HER CAREER,
BUT NOW SHE IS, MORE AND MORE.
TICK-TOCK. TICK-TOCK.
IN THE PAST COUPLE OF YEARS,
SHE HASN'T DATED ANYONE,
UNLESS SHE THOUGHT THAT FOR SURE
IT COULD BE A LASTING RELATIONSHIP.
AND SHE'S GOT SPECIFIC GOALS
NOW CONCERNING CHILDREN.
OH, HERE WE GO.
SHE WANTS AT LEAST 2.
AND BEFORE SHE MET DAD, SHE WAS
SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING SINGLE PARENTHOOD.
THAT'S WANTING KIDS.
THAT'S ABOUT IT.
SHE WORKS FOR L'OREAL.
HM, I HEARD THAT.
I'M TAPPED. HOW WAS YOUR NIGHT?
OH, FINE, JUST TOOK MOM WHOLE 5
MINUTES BEFORE SHE LEFT THE ROOM IN TEARS.
WHAT?
SHE FREAKED OUT THAT YOU WERE
WITH SHERRIE. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?
SHE FREAKED?
TOTALLY. SHE KEPT
CALLING HER "THAT WOMAN."
WHAT DID SHE THINK?
YOU'D COME HOME AND FIND A
RABBIT BOILING ON THE STOVE?
NO, IT HAD TO DO WITH
HER AND CHRISTOPHER...
ANYWAY, EVENTUALLY SHE CAME
DOWN AND HAD A POUTY DINNER.
SO IT ENDED UP OK?
FOR THE MOST PART.
IS SHE MAD AT ME?
NO, THE ANGEL CHILD, NEVER.
HERE YOU GO.
THANK YOU.
THANKS.
SO, UM,
I WANT TO ASK YOU SOMETHING.
ASK.
WHEN YOU'VE THOUGHT
ABOUT ME AND YOUR DAD,
WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN
THINKING ALL THESE YEARS?
UM, WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
I MEAN,
DID YOU EVER PICTURE
US POTENTIALLY TOGETHER,
LIKE, "WE ARE FAMILY" TOGETHER?
WELL, NOT REALLY.
BUT, SORT OF? IT
CROSSED YOUR MIND?
I FEEL LIKE I'M ON
THE RICKI LAKE SHOW.
GO, RORY! GO, RORY!
WEL, I'LL ADMIT I HAVE
PICTURED THE THREE OF US
LIVING TOGETHER
AT VARIOUS TIMES,
BUT IN THE WAY THAT
ALL KIDS PICTURE,
THEIR ESTRANGED
PARENTS LIVING TOGETHER.
THE WAY THEY SHOULD BE
TOGETHER, BUT IT'S STUPID.
IT'S NOT STUPID.
YEAH, I'VE PICTURED IT.
BUT I ALSO PICTURED YOU
WITH PEE WEE HERMAN.
WOW.
WE LIVED IN HIS PLAYHOUSE,
AND WE'D BE TALKING TO CHAIRY,
AND CAPTAIN CARL
WOULD BE WALKING BY.
FUN.
YEAH. OH, AND LATER, I PICTURED
YOU MARRYING MATTHEW BRODERICK.
AND WE LIVED IN NEW YORK IN THIS
GREAT APARTMENT IN THE VILLAGE
AND WE WOULD TALK ABOUT
HIS FERRIS BUELLER DAYS.
TJUST HINK HOW EASY PRODUCERS
TICKETS WOULD BE TO GET.
OH, IT WOULD BE 4TH
ROW CENTER EVERY NIGHT.
I'M SORRY
THAT MATTHEW AND I
COULDN'T WORK IT OUT, HONEY.
I'LL TRY TO GET OVER IT.
SO SHOULD IT HAVE BEEN ME?
HUH?
OOPS. SORRY, ZERO
HOUR. I HAVE TO GO.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
COME ON. COME ON.
EXCUSE ME, MRS. KIM? I'M KIRK.
I KNOW. I'VE KNOWN
YOU SINCE YOU WERE 2.
THAT'S NO GUARANTEE
THAT PEOPLE REMEMBER ME.
WE'RE IN A HURRY.
I WON'T TAKE UP MUCH TIME.
I WAS JUST WONDERING
WHAT YOUR STORE HOURS ARE.
FOR PEOPLE WHO COME TO
BUY THINGS AND COME WITH CASH,
IT'S 10:00 TO 6:00,
SUNDAY THROUGH FRIDAY.
FOR THOSE WHO WANDER AROUND, BLOCKING
AISLES, TOUCHING THINGS WITH DIRTY HANDS,
NEVER BUYING, ASKING FOR
80 PERCENT OFF, WE'RE CLOSED.
I SHOULD JOT THIS DOWN.
YOU SAID 10:00 TO
6:00. THAT'S 10:00 A.M.?
YES.
OK. GOT IT. THANKS
FOR YOUR TIME.
OH, MY GOD. MICHEL, ARE YOU OK?
I'VE BEEN RUNNING AROUND THIS
STUPID SQUARE FOR OVER AN HOUR.
WHY?
WHY? BECAUSE THE PLAN WAS TO DROP THIS C.D.
- 00.
NO, IT GOT CHANGED TO 10:00.
I TOLD MY MOM, AND SHE
SAID SHE'D PASS IT ON.
SHE DIDN'T PASS IT ON, DID SHE?
DEFINITELY NOT.
OH, WELL, THE MISSION
WAS A SUCCESS.
YES, MY CARDIOLOGIST
WILL BE THRILLED.
AH! I'VE GOT A CRAMP.
I'VE GOT A CRAMP.
CAN I DO ANYTHING FOR YOU?
GET AWAY FROM ME, EVIL GIRL.
NEVER WILL I DO ANYTHING FOR
YOU AGAIN EVER, EVER, NEVER!
IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL ANY BETTER,
YOU HAD REALLY GOOD FORM.
YOU'RE YOUR MOTHER'S CHILD.
THANK YOU.
HEY, GUYS.
HI.
WE JUST WANTED TO
SAY A LAST GOODBYE.
RORY'S NOT HERE?
SHE WENT OUTSIDE SOMEWHERE.
YOU COULD PROBABLY FIND HER.
OK. I THINK I WILL.
WE HAD SUCH A
GREAT TIME LAST NIGHT.
SO I HEAR YOUR DINNER WAS GOOD.
OH, YEAH, IT WAS GREAT.
I WOULD LOVE TO SEE
THAT HOUSE SOMETIME,
ESPECIALLY THE PORTRAIT
OF RORY IN THE STUDY.
ANY WAY I COULD GET A PICTURE?
I CAN SEND YOU ONE.
THAT WOULD BE GREAT.
SO SHE'S OUTSIDE?
SOMEWHERE.
I'M GONNA TRY TO CORRAL HER.
YEAH, BRING HER BY
SO I CAN SEE HER, TOO.
OK. BYE, LORELAI.
THANKS FOR EVERYTHING.
OH, YOU'RE WELCOME. BYE.
SO, QUITE THE EVENING
OF THEATER LAST NIGHT.
UH-HUH, YES. THE GILMORE FAMILY
PLAYERS RIVAL THE BARRYMORES
FOR THEIR SOPHISTICATED,
DRAMATIC PRODUCTIONS.
I NEVER THOUGHT SHE'D FREAK
OVER RORY NOT BEING THERE LIKE THAT.
I NEVER WANTED TO PUT
YOU IN THAT POSITION.
AH, YOU COULDN'T HAVE KNOWN.
I MEAN RORY'S MISSED THE
OCCASIONAL DINNER BEFORE.
YEAH, WELL, THIS WAS
COMPOUNDED BY OTHER THINGS.
WHAT OTHER THINGS?
YOU SHOULD KNOW AS WELL AS I
THAT WHEN IT COMES TO EMILY
GILMORE, IT'S NEVER SIMPLE.
GOT IT. AH! LOOKS LIKE
THEY FOUND EACH OTHER.
YOU KNOW, SHERRIE HAD A
REALLY GOOD TIME LAST NIGHT.
I HOPE RORY DID, TOO.
YEAH, SHE SEEMED TO.
GOOD. GOOD.
SO, CHRIS, BEFORE YOU GO, UM,
I HAVE SOMETHING I
WANT TO SAY TO YOU.
UH-OH. IT'S NOT AN "UH-OH."
OK. WHAT?
WELL, I, UM, KIND OF
REALIZED SOMETHING
WITH YOU AND SHERRIE VISITING
AND, GOD HELP ME, BECAUSE OF
SOMETHING MY MOTHER SAID TO ME.
WOW. INSPIRATION CAN COME
FROM THE UNLIKELIEST SOURCES.
I WAS JUST THINKING, YOU
KNOW, ALL THESE YEARS
NO MATTER WHAT MY
RELATIONSHIP STATUS HAS BEEN,
WHETHER I'VE BEEN DATING
OR HIBERNATING OR WHATEVER,
I THINK I'VE ALWAYS HAD
YOU IN THE BACK OF MY MIND,
YOU KNOW, THE PROSPECT
OF US BEING TOGETHER.
BUT THIS PROSPECT WAS
SORT OF INDEFINITELY ON HOLD
WHILE YOU, YOU KNOW, FOUND YOURSELF
AND, UH, GOT YOUR PERSONAL LIFE TOGETHER,
SO THAT YOU COULD REALLY BE THERE
FOR ME AND ESPECIALLY FOR RORY.
BUT YOU AND I HAVE
BEEN SO LINKED IN MY MIND
THAT I THINK I'VE
UNCONSCIOUSLY SABOTAGED
EVERY DECENT
RELATIONSHIP I'VE HAD
INCLUDING THE ONE WITH MAX,
BECAUSE I WAS WAITING FOR YOU.
AND I SHOULDN'T HAVE
BEEN. NOW THAT I SEE THAT
AND I SEE YOU SETTLING
DOWN WITH SHERRIE,
I THINK I CAN MOVE BEYOND IT.
GOOD, I'M REALLY GLAD
IT'S GOOD FOR YOU, LORELAI.
IT IS.
CHRIS.
HOW DARE YOU PUT THAT ON ME?
I'M JUST THANKING YOU.
WELL, DON'T.
AH, WHAT'S WRONG?
WHAT'S WRONG?
DAMN IT, LORELAI.
YOU'RE DUMPING 15 YEARS
OF UNHAPPINESS ON ME?
15 YEARS OF NOT HAVING HEALTHY,
LASTING RELATIONSHIPS ON ME?
YOU'RE BLAMING ME FOR
BREAKING UP WITH MAX
AND NOT MARRYING?
THAT'S MY FAULT?
NO, I JUST...
I DID NOTHING TO DESERVE THAT.
I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU DID.
YOU'RE AS GOOD AS SAYING IT.
NO, I'M NOT.
THEN WHAT DID YOU EXPECT TO
COME FROM THIS DIVINE REVELATION
THAT YOU'VE BEEN SO
KIND TO SHARE WITH ME?
DID YOU WANT ME TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU
FOR RUINING YOUR LIFE OR COMFORT YOU
"THERE, THERE. EVERYTHING
WILL BE ALL RIGHT,"
SO YOU CAN FEEL OK? FORGET IT!
CHRIS, WAIT.
IF THERE'S ANYTHING YOU
FEEL BAD ABOUT YOUR LIFE,
YOU WANT TO DUMP ON MY
DOORSTEP, JUST LEAVE A NOTE.
DAD!
HEY!
I WANT TO MARRY YOU.
YOU'RE COMPLETELY INSANE!
WHO IS HE? WHO?
THE BOY YOU RAN OFF TO
SEE, THE ONE WHO CALLS HERE
PRETENDING TO WORK FOR
THE WALL STREET JOURNAL.
I CAN BE A FAMILY MAN.
I'M RESPONSIBLE NOW.
HONEY, YOU CAN'T EVEN BUY A BOOK
WITHOUT HAVING YOUR
CREDIT CARD DECLINED.
MAYBE HE CAN CHANGE.
RORY.
MAYBE IT'S DIFFERENT. HE
DID COME HERE THIS TIME.
HE'S NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE.
NO BOYS. NOT UNLESS I
APPROVE, AND I DON'T APPROVE.
HOW DO YOU KNOW?
I KNOW! YOU'RE
SNEAKING, YOU'RE LYING.
THAT MEANS SOMETHING'S
WRONG WITH THIS BOY.
A VOLVO SEDAN? ARE YOU KIDDING?
THIS IS A GREAT CAR.
FOR DRIVING TO BINGO.
IT JUST SEEMED LIKE TIME.
I COULDN'T KEEP SHOWING
UP FOR WORK ON MY BIKE.
WORK? YOU'VE HEARD OF IT?
YOU GO UPSTAIRS RIGHT
NOW AND CALM DOWN!
FINE!
NOW! FINE!
THAT IS NOT CALMING DOWN!
I REALLY HAVE TO GET BACK.
TO WORK?
TO SOMEONE.
LINDA FROM MARKETING
GOT TO YOU, DIDN'T SHE?
HER NAME IS SHERRIE.
IS IT SERIOUS?
WE'RE LIVING TOGETHER.
WOW.
MY QUESTION IS, HOW
DID THAT HAPPEN?
HOW WAS IT THAT SUDDENLY
EVERYONE IN THE WORLD WAS SAYING,
"MUSIC HAS CHARMS TO
SOOTH THE SAVAGE BEAST"
WHEN IT WAS WRITTEN "BREAST"?
I DON'T KNOW.
AT SOME POINT SOMEONE
MISSPOKE AND IT JUST CAUGHT ON.
HOW DO THINGS
LIKE THAT CATCH ON?
PLEASE, YOU'RE DRIVING ME CRAZY.
I MEAN, DID SOME
GUY, LIKE, SAY IT
AT A BIG RALLY OF SOME SORT AND EVERYONE
WENT HOME, STARTED SAYING IT THAT WAY
AND IT JUST SPREAD FROM THERE?
YES, EXACTLY.
NOW YOU'RE JUST
TRYING TO SHUT ME UP.
OH, MY GOD.
WHAT? LOOK.
WOW.
EMPTY.
JUST ONE OF THOSE WEIRD LULLS.
HAPPENS OCCASIONALLY.
CAN WE SIT WHEREVER WE LIKE?
WHEREVER YOU LIKE.
WOW. SUCH LUXURY
I NEVER DREAMED OF.
WHERE DO YOU WANT TO SIT?
I DON'T KNOW.
UM, HOW ABOUT THIS TABLE WITH
ITS UNOBSTRUCTED WESTWARD VIEW
OF THE WIDE COSMOPOLITAN
EXPANSE OF CLUMP STREET?
TEMPTING. DO YOU KNOW
THAT ON A CLEAR DAY
YOU CAN SEE THE GARBAGE
CANS BEHIND AL'S PANCAKE WORLD?
HUMPH. OR WE COULD SIT IN THE
CORNER, YOU KNOW, THE MAFIA TABLE
SO THAT NO ONE CAN COME UP BEHIND
YOU AND WHACK YOU WITH A CANNOLI.
WHACK YOU WITH A CANNOLI? OH, BECAUSE
HE LEFT THE GUN AND TOOK THE CANNOLI.
YOU ARE SO MY DAUGHTER.
HEY, LET'S SIT AT THE COUNTER.
NO, THOSE ARE NOT
THE POWER SEATS.
YES, BUT WITH NO ONE HERE,
WE CAN SIT AT EITHER END
AND PLAY BAGEL HOCKEY.
OH, BAGEL HOCKEY. OH, BOY.
JUST SIT AT A TABLE.
OH, YOU'RE AWFULLY RUDE FOR A GUY
WHO ONLY HAS 2 PAYING CUSTOMERS.
OK, 3:30 ON FRIDAY: MY DEBATE
AT CHILTON, WRITE IT DOWN.
ALREADY WRITTEN.
GOOD.
YOU PREPARED?
PLEASE. PARIS HAS
US BEYOND PREPARED.
NOW I KNOW MORE ABOUT DOCTOR-ASSISTED
SUICIDE THAN I EVER CARE TO.
CHEERY TOPIC.
LUKE'S. UH-HUH.
HOLD ON A SECOND. IT'S FOR YOU.
WHAT?
YEP.
BUT WHO KNOWS WE'RE HERE?
THIS WHOLE MORNING
HAS BEEN TWILIGHT ZONE-Y.
OR OUTER LIMITS-Y.
WHAT?
GREAT SHOW, JUST
AS EERIE, SAME ERA,
BUT NO ONE EVER REFERENCES IT.
OH, I'M... I'M SORRY,
I DON'T SPEAK GEEK.
YEP, STEPPED RIGHT IN IT.
HELLO?
RORY?
LANE? HOW DID YOU
KNOW I WAS HERE?
TELESCOPE. I'VE GOT A
CLEAN SHOT AT LUKE'S.
I SAW YOU AND YOUR MOM GO IN.
HEY, WATCH IT.
YEAH, DUCK, HARVEY.
ARE YOU STILL GROUNDED OVER
THAT WHOLE HENRY THING, HUH?
ARE YOU KIDDING?
IT'S THE MOTHER
OF ALL GROUNDINGS.
MOM'S DONE EVERYTHING BUT SLAP
A DR. DRE ANKLE BRACELET ON ME.
I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO SCHOOL.
ISN'T THAT ILLEGAL TO
KEEP A KID OUT OF SCHOL?
WELL, SHE TALKED
MY TEACHERS INTO
ME BEING HOME-SCHOOLED
FOR 2 WEEKS.
THE WORDS "HIGHLY
CONTAGIOUS" WERE BANDIED ABOUT.
I GET 5 MINUTES A DAY
OF OUTSIDE PHONE TIME.
UNLIMITED TIME TO CALL
THE PSALM-A-DAY LINE.
A BIG RIP-OFF BY TH EWAY BECAUSE PSALM
79 HAS BEEN ON THERE FOR 3 STRAIGHT DAYS.
THAT'S NOT IN KEEPING WITH
WHAT THEIR NAME IMPLIES
WHICH IS A NEW PSALM
PER DAY EVERY DAY
NOT THE SAME TIRED ONE
FROM THE PREVIOUS 2 DAYS.
I'VE NEVER HEARD ANYONE GET
SO RILED UP ABOUT PSALMS BEFORE.
MY WORLD HAS BECOME VERY SMALL.
OK, I'M DYING FOR NEWS.
GIVE ME SOME HEADLINES.
WELL, I'VE GOT A
DEBATE COMING UP
AND, UH, DEAN'S BEEN
WORKING EXTRA HOURS LATELY
SAVING UP FOR A NEW
MOTORCYCLE, SO I HARDLY SEE HIM.
MOM AND I HAVEN'T
DONE LAUNDRY IN 3 WEEKS,
BUT I'VE TAKEN TO JUMPING INTO
THE HUGE PILE OF DIRTY CLOTHES
AS WE PLAY OUR READER'S DIGEST
WORLD'S FAMOUS POLKAS C.D.
WE GOT IT USED FOR 99
CENTS. SORRY IF THAT'S BORING.
ARE YOU KIDDING? THAT'S THE
MOST STIMULATION I'VE GOT IN A WEEK.
LANE, COME DOWN FOR YOUR SNACK.
IT'S TEA-AND-MELBA-TOAST
TIME. GOTTA GO.
DON'T FORGET ME IN MY SOLITUDE.
NEVER.
BYE.
THINK FAST.
OH, IMPRESSIVE.
ARE YOU THINKING
WHAT I'M THINKING?
WHAT?
GOALIE FOR THE
BAGEL-HOCKEY TEAM.
AND BUMP SCHMITTY?
SCHMITTY'S OVER THE HILL. HE'S
WASHED UP. PUT HIM IN COOPERSTOWN.
SUIT UP, KID.
CALL ME IF ANYONE SANE WALKS IN.
♪
♪ IF YOU'RE OUT ON THE ROAD ♪
♪ FEELING LONELY, AND SO COLD ♪
♪ ALL YOU HAVE TO
DO IS CALL MY NAME ♪
♪ AND I'LL BE THERE
ON THE NEXT TRAIN ♪
♪ WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW ♪
♪ ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO ♪
♪ IF YOU NEED, YOU
NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU ♪
♪ I WILL FOLLOW, OH ♪
♪ WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW ♪
♪ ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO ♪
♪ IF YOU NEED, YOU
NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU ♪
♪ I WILL FOLLOW WHERE YOU LEAD ♪
THERE'S NOTHING ON.
THERE'S ALWAYS SOMETHING ON.
HUH! STRUCK GOLD.
NOT THE 2 FAT LADIES AGAIN.
WHY NOT? THEY'RE BRILLIANT.
IT'S A COOKING SHOW
AND YOU DON'T COOK.
THAT MIGHT CHANGE.
NOT A CHANCE. PROBABLY NOT.
WE'VE SEEN ALL OF
THEM LIKE 5 TIMES.
THEY'RE ALL REPEATS.
YES, SADLY, BECAUSE ONE OF
THE FAT LADIES MET HER MAKER.
REALLY? WHICH ONE?
THE FAT ONE.
COME ON. WHICH ONE? THE ONE ON THE
MOTORCYCLE OR THE ONE IN THE SIDECAR?
SEE? IT'S FUN JUST TALKING
ABOUT THE 2 FAT LADIES.
CAN'T WE FIND SOME OTHER
REALLY FAT PEOPLE TO WATCH?
WOW. THAT SOUNDED
REALLY INSENSITIVE.
PARIS.
CAN I COME IN?
I GUESS.
SO, YOU COULDN'T POSSIBLY BE
WONDERING WHAT I'M DOING HERE.
I COULDN'T?
THE DEBATE'S FRIDAY. AND
WE NEED MORE PREPARATION.
MORE PREPARATION?
PARIS, NO 2 PEOPLE KNOW MORE ABOUT
ASSISTED SUICIDE THAN THE 2 OF US.
KEVORKIAN CALLED TODAY
FOR A COUPLE OF TIPS.
THERE'S ISSUES OF PRESENTATION
THAT NEED TO BE ADDRESSED.
PRESENTATION?
I WAS LISTENING TO
THE C.D. AND CASSETTES
I MADE OF OUR MOCK
DEBATES AND I REALIZED
THAT YOU WERE NOT
TALKING FAST ENOUGH.
WHAT?
YOU'RE ONLY DOING 135 W.P.M.
W.P.M.? "WORDS PER MINUTE."
OF COURSE.
THAT'S SLOW. THAT'S NOT SLOW.
IT'S JIMMY BOB SLOW.
I TALK NORMALLY.
FOR THE AVERAGE WILLIE
NELSON ROADIE, YES,
BUT NOT FOR A WINNING
DEBATE MEMBER.
AS A COMPARISON, I SPEAK
AN AVERAGE OF 178 W.P.M.
OK, WORD SPEED ISN'T EVERYTHING.
SOMETIMES I WILL
ADD A DRAMATIC PAUSE
TO PROVE A POINT,
UNDERCUTTING MY W.P.M.
LET'S NOT HARBOR ANY
PINTERESQUE FANTASIES HERE, RORY.
WE'LL HAVE SCANT MINUTES
TO MAKE OUR ARGUMENT
AND WE HAVE TO MAXIMIZE
OUR COLLECTIVE W.P.M.
OK. OK, LET'S JUST GET GOING.
HEY, PARIS, WERE
WE EXPECTING YOU?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN.
I'M GOING TO GET SET UP.
I'M GOING TO MY ROOM
TO WORK ON MY W.P.M.
DO I WANNA KNOW?
NO.
I'LL GET IT!
HELLO?
HEY, LOR, IT'S CHRIS.
HOW'S IT GOIN'?
GOOD. GOOD.
I'M ON A BUSINESS TRIP HERE, AND
I THOUGHT I'D CHECK IN ON RORY.
UH, SHE WENT TO SOME BIKER PARTY A
FEW DAYS AGO AND NEVER CAME BACK.
AGAIN?
WE GOTTA START
DISCIPLINING THAT GIRL.
HEY, WHO'S GOT THE TIME?
SHE'S RIGHT HERE.
I'LL PASS YOU TO HER.
SO, WHERE DID THIS
BUSINESS TRIP TAKE YOU?
THE LITCHFIELD AREA.
REALLY? HOW LONG?
A COUPLE OF DAYS, OR
FOR AS LONG AS IT TAKES
FOR THEM TO SUCCUMB
TO MY INFINITE CHARM.
WELL, IF YOU'RE
STILL HERE ON FRIDAY,
YOU SHOULD COME ON DOWN AND
SEE RORY IN A DEBATE AT CHILTON.
REALLY?
YEAH, IT STARTS AT 3:30.
AND FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED.
THEY'RE EXPECTING 20,000 PEOPLE,
SO I'D GET THERE EARLY.
WOW, CHILTON UP CLOSE, HUH?
YEAH, IT'S YOUR CHANCE TO
SEE THE FAMOUS PARIS IN ACTION.
THERE MIGHT EVEN BE CASUALTIES.
OK, TELL RORY I'LL BE THERE.
REALLY?
WHY NOT?
OH, SHE'LL BE EXCITED.
TELL HER YOURSELF.
PASS ME ON.
DAIRY'S BAD, TOO
BECAUSE OF THE MUCUS.
YOU HAVEN'T HAD ANY DAIRY IN
THE LAST 48 HOURS, HAVE YOU?
IN MY CEREAL THIS MORNING.
GEEZ. OK, WELL, THERE'S
A SOLUTION OF SALT WATER
AND VINEGAR THAT
CAN HELP CUT THAT.
GIRLS, I'M SORRY TO INTERRUPT
THE VINEGAR HOUR, BUT IT'S YOUR DAD.
DAD, HI.
DID YOU GIVE HER THE CEREAL?
UM, I'D RATHER NOT SAY.
HELLO?
IT'S ME.
LANE, THIS IS FLAT-OUT STALKING.
LOOK, I DON'T HAVE
MUCH TIME. I'VE ALREADY
USED UP MY 5 MINUTES
OF PHONE TIME,
BUT I HAD TO TALK TO YOU.
THERE'S A NEW BELLE AND
SEBASTIAN SINGLE COMING OUT TODAY.
I KNOW.
I HAVE TO HAVE IT. OK, WELL.
I HAVE TO HAVE IT.
I DON'T KNOW IF I HAVE
TIME TO PICK IT UP.
WHAT?
DO YOU WANT TO HEAR HOW I USED
UP MY 5 MINUTES OF PHONE TIME TODAY?
IN A PACKAGE WITH A RETURN ADDRESS
REFERENCING SOMETHING KOREAN AND RELIGIOUS.
WOULDN'T DO IT, HUH?
I THINK THEY NOTIFIED
THE GOVERNMENT.
CAN'T YOU WAIT FOR YOUR
GROUNDING TO BE OVER?
HEY, I AM A FANATIC AUDIOPHILE.
THAT COMES WITH RESPONSIBILITIES
THAT A GROUNDING
DOESN'T ALTER NOW.
I HAVE TO HAVE THIS SINGLE
AND YOU HAVE TO GET IT TO ME.
OK, OK, I'LL DO MY BEST.
THANK YOU. I HAVE TO GO.
OH, HEY.
WHAT?
AND YOU'VE GOT
SOMETHING IN YOUR TEETH.
STOP THAT.
HEY, THERE YOU ARE.
WHERE WERE YOU?
OH, HI.
I THOUGHT WE'D MEET
BY THE VENDING MACHINES
FOR A LITTLE PRE-DEBATE
NON-DAIRY SNACK.
PARIS WANTED TO DO A SOUND CHECK
AND SHE FOUND SOME PROBLEMS
WITH THE ACOUSTICS HERE.
THE LAYOUT ON THIS ROW OF
SEATS IS CAUSING A BASS PROBLEM.
WE'VE GOT TO MOVE THIS
WHOLE ROW OVER A FOOT. ESTA!
JUST MOVE THESE PEOPLE OUT.
BETTER FIND A SEAT
BEFORE SHE MOVES THEM ALL.
HAVE FUN.
THANKS. GLAD YOU CAME.
NO, YOU'RE NOT.
WHAT?
I'M JUST GETTING
YOU IN THE MOOD.
DID YOU SEE
CHRISTOPHER ANYWHERE?
UH, WELL, NO. NO, NO.
HEY, WHAT DOES HE LOOK LIKE?
IF YOU DON'T KNOW,
WHY ARE YOU LOOKING?
I'M LOOKING FOR A GUY THAT LOOKS
LIKE A GUY THAT YOU COULD BE WITH
ONLY I'M DEDUCTING 17 YEARS
OFF HIS AGE AND I'M ADDING
AN ALL-BOYS PRIVATE SCHOOL
UNIFORM AND A YANKEES CAP.
AND DOES YOUR HEAD HURT?
YEAH, IT DOES.
IF EVERYBODY COULD PLEASE
TAKE THEIR SEATS, WE'LL BEGIN.
THAT INCLUDES ALL THE
MEMBERS OF THE DEBATE TEAMS.
BRAD. HI.
HI, RORY.
I DIDN'T THINK
YOU'D REMEMBER ME.
OF COURSE I DO. HOW'S
YOUR NEW SCHOOL?
I LOVE IT.
IT'S WAY MORE MELLOW THERE,
AND I MADE A TON OF FRIENDS.
GOOD FOR YOU.
WELL, BRAD.
PARIS.
GUESS WE'RE GOING
MANO A MANO TODAY, HUH?
OH, GOD.
ALL RIGHT. THE TOPIC FOR TODAY'S
DEBATE IS DOCTOR-ASSISTED SUICIDE.
THAT'S PLEASANT.
LET ME INTRODUCE THE DEBATERS.
ON THE HILLSIDE
ACADEMY TEAM, WE HAVE
BRAD LANGFORD AND
NANCY WATERFORD.
YOU LOOK SICK.
I FEEL SICK.
AND ON THE CHILTON TEAM, WE HAVE
RORY GILMORE AND PARIS GELLER.
WERE WE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT?
MAYBE NO ONE NOTICED.
EACH TEAM WILL HAVE 3
MINUTES FOR THEIR OPENINGS,
3 MINUTES FOR REBUTTALS, AND 2
MINUTES FOR THEIR CONCLUSIONS.
THEY WILL BE JUDGED ON THE BASIS
OF CONTENT, STRATEGY, AND STYLE.
I WILL BE THE JUDGE ALONG
WITH MRS. GLADSTONE.
MRS. O'MALLEY IS IMPREGNABLE,
BUT YESTERDAY I COMPLIMENTED
MRS. GLADSTONE'S DUMPY OUTFIT
AND BOUGHT HER AN
ICE-CREAM SANDWICH.
SHE PRACTICALLY LICKED
MY HAND IN GRATITUDE.
NICE GOING.
WE CHOOSE WHICH TEAM TAKES THE
PRO OR CON SIDE WITH THE TOSS OF A COIN.
A MEMBER OF HILLSIDE
WILL MAKE THE CALL.
HEADS.
NO, TAILS! I MEAN TAILS!
AH, IT'S HEADS.
CHILTON WILL PICK. PRO OR CON?
PRO ASSISTED SUICIDE.
WHAT A SHOCK.
ALL RIGHT. WHENEVER YOU'RE
READY, YOU MAY COMMENCE.
THANK YOU. KEEP IT SNAPPY.
THERE ARE MANY VANTAGE POINTS
FROM WHICH TO CONSIDER
DOCTOR-ASSISTED SUICIDE.
SERIOUS CONSIDERATION
DRAWS FROM ETHICS, LAW,
MEDICAL PRACTICES,
PHILOSOPHY, PSYCHOLOGY,
PUBLIC POLICY, AND RELIGION,
ALL TOPICS I PLAN TO EXPLORE IN
THE NEXT 2 MINUTES AND 46 SECONDS.
GEEZ. LOOK AT THAT
KID. HE'S SHAKING.
AND PALE.
HE LOOKS ALL WHITE AND TINY.
EITHER INFORMATION
OR THE ACTUAL MEANS,
SUCH AS MEDICATION
OR OTHER SUPPLIES
TO A PERSON WHO WISHES TO
TERMINATE HIS OR HER OWN LIFE.
THE PATIENT MUST THEN
INITIATE THE PROCESS.
THE GOAL IS EUTHANASIA, A TERM
WITH ITS ROOTS IN ANCIENT GREEK.
AND REFERENCING THEIR LAST POINT
WHICH ERRONEOUSLY
CITED SOUTH CAROLINA
AS A STATE THAT HAS NEITHER
A STATUTE NOR COMMON LAW
WHICH PROHIBITS
ASSISTED SUICIDE,
WHEN WE KNOW THAT NORTH
CAROLINA IS THE PROPER CITATION,
THEIR SUBSEQUENT
ARGUMENT FALLS SHORT
OF EVEN A LEVEL OF SPECIOUSNESS
DUE TO THE FACT THAT IT DOESN'T
EVEN HAVE A RING OF FACTUAL TRUTH,
LET ALONE ITS SUBSTANCE.
AND AFTER ALL, THE ABSENCE OF
PROHIBITION AGAINST ASSISTED SUICIDE
IS A FAR CRY FROM A STATUTE WHICH
ACTUALLY LEGITIMIZES THE PRACTICE,
A STATE OF AFFAIRS WHICH TODAY
EXISTS ONLY IN
OREGON, SADLY ENOUGH,
UNDER THE 1997 DEATH
WITHOUT DIGNITY ACT.
HEY, CIRCUS LADY, WHAT'S
WITH THE CONTORTIONS?
I'M TRYING TO SNEAK A PEEK AT
THE GIRL CHRISTOPHER'S WITH.
BUT YOU SEE, THE CONCEPT BEHIND
"SNEAK" IS NOT HAVING PEOPLE NOTICE YOU,
AND WHAT YOU'RE DOING
IS SHOUTING, "NOTICE ME!"
TELL ME YOU'RE NOT CURIOUS.
I'M NOT CURIOUS.
YOU ARE, TOO.
WE'LL MEET HER IN A
MATTER OF MINUTES.
COME ON, WATCH THE TINY
SHAKING BOY GET SHORTER.
2 MINUTES FOR CONCLUSION.
CONCERNS THE INCREASINGLY
PRESSING NATURE
OF THIS DEBATE
AS THE BABY-BOOMER GENERATION
ENTERS THEIR GRAYING YEARS
AND BEGINS TO PLACE AN
INSUPPORTABLE BURDEN
OVER THE NATION'S ALREADY...
YOU SNEAK A LITTLE PEEK? SHH.
PROFESSOR BOWMAR OF WILLAMETTE
UNIVERSITY COLLEGE OF LAW
HAS PREPARED A LENGTHY SUMMARY
THAT I'D LIKE TO USE IN MY REMAINING TIME.
TIME. WHAT?
THAT'S IT. TIME'S UP.
IF I COULD HAVE A FEW SECONDS
TO REBUT THEIR CHARGE
OF THE CRUELTY OF THE ACT...
WE TAKE IT BACK.
YOU CAN'T TAKE IT
BACK. IT'S A DEBATE.
OK, THAT'S ENOUGH
CRUELTY FOR ONE DAY, PARIS.
YOUR TEAM HAS WON.
CONGRATULATIONS.
REALLY? THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
YOU PUT UP A GOOD FIGHT.
BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME.
YOU OK?
I'M SWEATING.
I'M COMPLETELY SOAKED THROUGH.
AND I THINK I'M CATCHING A COLD.
DO YOU NEED A HUG, OR A TOWEL?
NO, THANKS.
I THINK I'M JUST GONNA
SIT HERE QUIETLY.
HUH! THERE THEY ARE.
I SEE THEM, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
SHE'S GOT GOOD HAIR. PLUS,
SHE'S BEEN SITTING FOR AN HOUR
AND HER DRESS IS UNWRINKLED.
HOW DOES SHE DO THAT?
SHE MUST BE A WITCH.
SHE'S DOING THAT NO-HOSE THING.
NO, SHE'S A CHIC, GOOD-HAIRED,
WRINKLE-FREE, NO-HOSE-WEARING WITCH.
YOU READY?
YEAH.
HI, THERE, YOU TWO.
HEY, LORELAI. YOU GUYS
GET TO MEET AT LAST.
THIS IS...
SHERRIE.
NICE TO FINALLY MEET YOU.
I RECOGNIZE YOU FROM
YOUR CHRISTMAS CARD.
WHICH I'M SURE YOU
MOCKED MERCILESSLY.
DID NOT. OTHERS,
YES, BUT NOT YOURS.
YOU WERE CUTE. AND
THE PUPPY WAS CUTE.
HEY, THIS IS SOOKIE.
NICE TO MEET YOU.
NICE TO MEET YOU.
YOU HAVE A VERY SMOOTH DRESS.
OH, THANK YOU. IT'S THE FABRIC.
THE FABRIC.
CHRIS, I'VE TOLD
YOU ABOUT SOOKIE.
YES, YOU HAVE.
THE FAMOUS SOOKIE.
THE FAMOUS CHRISTOPHER.
I HEAR YOU'RE THE GREATEST
CHEF AFTER ALAIN DUCASSE.
AFTER ALAIN DUCASSE?
WHO... WHO SAID "AFTER"?
HI, DAD. YOU CAME.
OF COURSE I DID.
SORRY, I'M STILL
GETTING USED TO IT.
I'M GLAD.
HONEY, LOOK WHO DAD BROUGHT.
THIS IS SHERRIE.
SHERRIE, THIS IS RORY.
OH, FINALLY, FINALLY, FINALLY.
I AM SO BEYOND
THRILLED, I CAN'T TELL YOU.
ALL HE DOES IS TALK ABOUT YOU.
I COULDN'T WAIT TO MEET
THIS AMAZING PERSON.
OH, SHE LIVES UP TO THE
HYPE, LET ME TELL YOU.
IS MY FACE TURNING RED?
OH, YEAH, BEET RED.
OH, I'M SORRY. I PUT
YOU ON THE SPOT.
I'VE JUST BEEN REALLY
LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS.
NO, NO, NO, IT'S OK.
UH, WILL YOU EXCUSE
US FOR A MINUTE?
RORY JUST WANTED
TO SHOW ME SOMETHING
AROUND THE CORNER
HERE. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
SO RORY WAS GREAT, HUH.
BRILLIANT.
SO, WHO SAID I WAS
AFTER ALAIN DUCASSE?
HE BROUGHT SHERRIE. I KNOW.
THIS IS A LITTLE... YEAH.
DID YOU TALK, IS SHE NICE?
SHE'S A WITCH.
OH, GOOD.
SO W-WHAT DO WE DO?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
WE GOT TO PUT ON OUR HOSTESSING
HATS AND SET A GAME PLAN HERE.
IT WOULD BE IMPOLITE IF WE DIDN'T
ASK THEM TO HANG OUT WITH US.
DO WE HIT THE VENDING MACHINES?
INVITE THEM TO LUKE'S?
DOES SHE SEEM
LIKE A DINER CHICK?
PROBABLY NOT.
I WISH HE'D SAID SHE WAS
WITH HIM. WHERE ELSE?
AL'S PANCAKE WORLD.
IT'S FRIDAY. HE DOES
HIS PRIX-FIXE MENU.
THERE'S ALWAYS OUR HOUSE.
IT'S A MESS.
MIGHT BE THE SAFEST? OK.
WHY DIDN'T HE MENTION
SHE WAS WITH HIM?
I DON'T KNOW.
IT'S REALLY MORE
OF AN EXPRESSION
THAN SOMETHING I
PROBABLY ACTUALLY HEARD.
BUT MAYBE SOMEONE
IMPLIED THAT I WAS AFTER HIM?
OH, SOOKIE.
YEAH.
YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU ARE THE
GREATEST CHEF IN THE WORLD, BAR NONE.
THANKS.
SO, UM, ARE YOU GUYS
DOING ANYTHING NOW?
NOT REALLY.
NO, WE'RE PRETTY FREE
FOR THE REST OF THE DAY.
WELL, WHY DON'T YOU
COME AND SEE OUR PLACE?
OH, THAT WOULD BE GREAT!
YEAH, SURE, WE'D
LOVE THAT. THANKS, LOR.
I WAS HOPING WE'D SEE WHERE
RORY LIVES AND HER ROOM.
MY ROOM'S NO BIG DEAL.
OH, AND THE BOOKS.
I HAVE HEARD ALL
ABOUT THE BOOKS.
I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THE BOOKS.
LET'S GO AND SEE THE BOOKS.
RORY.
SO, GREAT JOB. WE PRETTY
MUCH WIPED THE FLOOR WITH THEM.
YEAH, WE TURNED THEM INTO
CLEANING PRODUCTS. DEFINITELY.
LISTEN, THE VERBATIM TRANSCRIPTS OF
THE DEBATE WILL BE READY IN A HALF-HOUR.
I THOUGHT WE COULD
WAIT FOR THEM AND TALK
ABOUT WHAT WE DID
RIGHT, AND WRONG,
COMPARE W.P.M.s.
WELL, I'M ACTUALLY
HEADING WITH MY GROUP
BACK TO OUR HOUSE,
SO I REALLY CAN'T.
OH.
OK. WHATEVER.
IF YOU DON'T WANT TO CELEBRATE
WITH ME, THAT'S JUST FINE!
YOU DO THE LIVING
ROOM, I'LL DO THE KITCHEN.
WHAT ABOUT THE UPSTAIRS?
I'LL BLOCK THE FOOL
WHO GOES UPSTAIRS!
COMPANY IS STRESSFUL.
DON'T FORGET YOUR ROOM!
WHAT?
YOUR ROOM! SHE WANTS
TO SEE THE BOOKS.
OH, I'LL HIT IT NEXT.
OH, THEY'RE PROBABLY GONNA
WANT SOMETHING TO EAT AND DRINK!
COMPANY USUALLY DOES.
WE HAVE NOTHING.
WE MUST HAVE SOMETHING.
ONLY IF DIVINE
PROVIDENCE HAS PLACED
A BRIE-AND-CRACKER
PLATE IN THE FRIDGE.
WE HAVE LEFTOVER
HALLOWEEN CANDY.
OH, WASTE THAT ON COMPANY?
HAVING COMPANY IS
ABOUT MAKING SACRIFICES.
MARTHA STEWART?
I PARAPHRASED PROUST.
I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN. FINE.
PRESENTATION IS EVERYTHING.
HELLO?
HI, DAD.
NEED SOME MORE TIME TO CLEAN UP?
HE KNOWS US TOO WELL.
COME ON IN.
HOW'D YOU KNOW WE WERE CLEANING?
WHEN YOU CUT US OFF IN THE
PARKING LOT AND SPED OFF DOING 60,
I FIGURED YOU WERE TRYING
TO BEAT US HOME FOR A REASON.
I HOPE WE'RE NOT
RUINING YOUR DAY.
OH, NO, WE LOVE
COMPANY. PLEASE, COME IN.
YOUR HOUSE IS GREAT.
THANKS, WE LIKE IT. HAVE A SEAT.
RORY, YOU WERE WONDERFUL
IN THE DEBATE TODAY.
THANKS.
THAT PARIS WAS A LITTLE INTENSE.
A LITTLE? THE OPPOSING TEAM
COULD BRING HER UP ON WAR CRIMES.
HER APPROACH WILL COME IN
HANDY WHEN SHE BECOMES A C.E.O.
OR A DICTATOR OF A
COUNTRY OR SOMETHING.
YOU WERE VERY POISED UP THERE, VERY
SURE OF YOURSELF, JUST LIKE YOUR DAD.
AND YOUR MOM.
OH, SHUCKS, PA.
AND YOUR UNIFORM IS DARLING.
REALLY I LOVE THE BLUE.
OF COURSE, I'M SURE YOU
LOOK GOOD IN ANYTHING.
YEAH, YOU SHOULD
SEE HER IN CHAPS.
REALLY?
NO. THAT WAS JUST
MY MOM BEING FUNNY.
OH.
YEAH, IT COMES AND GOES.
YOU'LL NOTICE THE SIGNS.
THE WAVES GET REALLY STILL, AND
THE ANIMALS START TO ACT FUNNY.
I WENT TO PRIVATE
SCHOOL, TOO. REALLY?
EXCEPT THAT OUR COLORS
WERE WHITE AND BRIGHT RED.
I LOOKED HIDEOUS.
SHE'S BEING SELF-DEPRECATING.
YOU LOOKED CUTE IN THAT OUTFIT.
NO, NO, I LOOKED LIKE
A PEPPERMINT STICK.
THAT'S WHERE MY ADDICTION
TO CLOTHES COMES FROM:
MAKING UP FOR YEARS OF HAVING
TO WEAR THE SAME THING EVERY DAY.
YEAH, I CAN UNDERSTAND THAT.
WE SHOULD GO SHOPPING SOMETIME
FOR CLOTHES OR WHATEVER.
YEAH. WE COULD DO THAT.
SOON, OK? SURE.
WHO WANTS SOMETHING TO DRINK?
I'VE GOT WATER, SODA...
UH, JUST WATER FOR ME.
ME, TOO.
MAKING IT EASY. I LOVE IT.
I'LL HELP YOU.
OH, NO... WELL, OK.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO HELP ME.
NO, I WANT TO.
GREAT.
SO, UH, DO YOU WANT
FLAT WATER OR SPARKLING?
I HOPE FLAT, 'CAUSE I
DON'T HAVE SPARKLING.
OR FLAT. OR ICE CUBES.
I HAVE CUPS, I THINK.
IT'S A LITTLE AWKWARD, ISN'T IT?
WHAT?
US.
YOU AND ME. OUR BEING HERE.
OH. NO, NOT REALLY.
BUT KIND OF, RIGHT?
WELL, WE'RE JUST
NOT USED TO COMPANY.
I MEAN, YOU AND CHRISTOPHER WERE
SO CLOSE. I KNOW IT WAS YEARS AGO,
BUT THESE THINGS
ARE NEVER SIMPLE.
JUST IN GENERAL, THINGS LIKE
THIS ARE ALWAYS AWKWARD,
SLIGHTLY, BUT ONLY SLIGHTLY.
AH, LOOK. APPLE JUICE.
WITH A PERFECTLY
RESPECTABLE EXPIRATION DATE.
LOOK, I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW
THAT YOU SHOULD NOT FEEL
LIKE YOU NEED TO GET TO KNOW ME.
OH. AT ALL.
OK.
I MEAN, JUST BECAUSE
CHRISTOPHER AND I ARE CLOSE
DOESN'T MEAN THAT
WE NEED TO BE CLOSE.
OR FRIENDS. OR ANYTHING,
FOR THAT MATTER.
NO, I GUESS NOT.
I MEAN, EXCEPT FOR OUR UNEXPECTED
VISIT, WE MAY NEVER HAVE EVEN MET.
WELL, I THINK WE WOULD
HAVE MET EVENTUALLY.
PERHAPS AT SOME
FUNCTION OR OTHER.
YEAH, YOU, ME, MARTIN SHEEN,
ALL CHAINED TO THE SAME TREE.
BUT I DO DESPERATELY
WANT TO KNOW RORY.
WELL, SURE, SHE'S A GREAT KID.
AND THAT'S OK WITH YOU?
YEAH, THAT'S FINE.
I'M SO GLAD TO HEAR THAT, BECAUSE
THINGS ARE KIND OF SPEEDING UP
BETWEEN ME AND
CHRISTOPHER AND...
REALLY?
RORY IS SO IMPORTANT TO HIM.
YEAH, I KNOW. SHE IS.
HE TOLD ME ABOUT HOW HE REALLY
WASN'T PRESENT IN HER LIFE FOR YEARS
AND HOW HE'D LIKE TO MAKE UP
FOR ALL THAT TIME THAT HE WASTED.
OH, HE'S BEEN DOING
REALLY WELL LATELY.
I KNOW. HE IS OBSESSIVE
ABOUT HIS CALL DATES TO HER.
I MEAN, IT DOESN'T MATTER WHERE
WE ARE OR WHAT WE'RE DOING,
HE'S GOT TO CALL RORY
WEDNESDAY NIGHTS AT 7:00.
I LIKE THAT ABOUT HIM.
YEAH. ME, TOO.
HE REALLY WANTS ME
TO BOND WITH HER, TOO.
IT'S IMPORTANT WITH
EVERYTHING WE HAVE COMING.
I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND.
GOOD. I'M GLAD.
YEAH.
SO WHAT ARE THE
CHANCES OF RORY AND I
GETTING TOGETHER ON THIS TRIP?
THIS TRIP? HOW ABOUT TONIGHT?
TONIGHT? RORY SEEMED UP FOR IT.
TONIGHT, HUH. IT'S
KIND OF LAST MINUTE
AND WE'RE SUPPOSED
TO GO SOMEWHERE.
THE FRIDAY-NIGHT DINNER
WITH YOUR PARENTS.
YOU KNOW ABOUT
THOSE? ALL ABOUT THEM.
BUT CHRISTOPHER
SAID YOU CAN GET HER
OUT OF THEM IF THERE'S
A PRESSING NEED.
WELL, THAT'S TRUE TO
A CERTAIN EXTENT, BUT...
THIS IS PRESSING.
I AM SO FORCING MYSELF
HERE, IT'S EMBARRASSING.
BUT THAT'S HOW IMPORTANT IT IS.
I MEAN, WHO KNOWS
WHEN THIS OPPORTUNITY
IS GOING TO PRESENT
ITSELF AGAIN. RIGHT?
RIGHT. SO?
WELL, UM...
SURE.
YOU'LL HAVE TO ASK RORY, BUT IF
IT'S OK WITH HER, IT'S OK WITH ME.
YOU KNOW, YOU'RE AS GREAT
AS CHRISTOPHER SAID YOU WERE.
WELL, HE'S AN EXCELLENT
JUDGE OF CHARACTER.
OK. I'LL SEE YOU BACK OUT THERE?
EVERYTHING OK?
YUP, SHE FOUND APPLE JUICE.
RORY, WILL YOU GET THAT, PLEASE?
LET THE MACHINE PICK IT UP.
NO, IT COULD BE IMPORTANT.
OK.
HELLO? HI, IT'S ME.
OH, HI.
I'M STILL IN THE KITCHEN.
LISTEN, JUST WANTED TO TELL
YOU THAT SHERRIE ASKED ME
IF BOTH OF YOU
COULD GO OUT TONIGHT.
SHE TRAPPED ME INTO SAYING I'D
GET YOU OUT OF FRIDAY DINNER.
SHE KNEW ALL ABOUT IT.
I SAID SHE HAD TO ASK YOU,
SO YOU CAN GET OUT OF IT.
BUT IT MAY BE GOOD TO GET THIS
OVER WITH, 'CAUSE IT SEEMS INEVITABLE.
IF YOU'RE OK GOING WITH HER, JUST SAY,
UM, "SORRY, LEONARD, I'LL CALL YOU BACK."
SORRY, LEONARD,
WE'VE GOT COMPANY.
CALL YOU BACK.
OK. BYE.
OK, HERE'S YOUR
DRINK. WHO WAS THAT?
UM, THAT WAS LEONARD.
DID YOU TELL HIM
WE HAVE COMPANY?
YEAH.
UH, WHO'S LEONARD?
JUST A FRIEND.
OF YOURS OR LORELAI'S?
MUTUAL FRIEND.
IT'S PRETTY MUCH EQUAL.
A MUTUAL LEONARD.
WE'RE CONSTANTLY
FIGHTING OVER HIM.
RORY, CAN I RUN
SOMETHING BY YOU?
OH, SURE.
YOUR DAD AND I ARE AROUND FOR
ANOTHER NIGHT, AND HE'S TOTALLY SICK OF ME.
NOT TRUE.
ANYHOW, I WAS
WONDERING IF YOU WANTED
TO DO SOMETHING WITH ME
TONIGHT. JUST THE TWO OF US.
SURE, THAT WOULD BE NICE.
REALLY?
YEAH, I MEAN, UH, IF
IT'S OK WITH MY MOM
BECAUSE WE DO HAVE A
GRANDMA-GRANDPA DINNER TONIGHT.
IT'S FINE BY ME.
GREAT. OF COURSE, THIS DOES
LEAVE YOU A SAD LITTLE ORPHAN.
I'LL HAVE ONE OF MY PATENTED
WHITE CASTLE BACHELOR DINNERS.
OR YOU CAN COME WITH ME
TONIGHT, UH, IF YOU WANT.
TO YOUR PARENTS?
YEAH, 'CAUSE WITH RORY NOT
THERE, I MIGHT NEED A HOSTAGE.
OH, YES, DO IT.
OK, IT'S GOOD GRUB.
YOU SURE THEY WON'T BE MAD?
THEY LIKE YOU.
TRUE.
GREAT. WE SHOULD GO GET
CLEANED UP FOR TONIGHT.
THANKS FOR HAVING
US OVER LIKE THIS.
ANYTIME.
WE'LL SWING BY AROUND 6:00.
SOUNDS GOOD.
BYE, SWEETIE.
BYE, DAD.
GOODBYE, LEONARD.
HONEY, HURRY, THEY SAID 6:00.
YEAH, BUT IT'S 6:00 DAD-TIME,
SO IT'S MORE LIKE 6:30.
DAD-TIME IS LINKED
TO SHERRIE-TIME.
SHERRIE SEEMS AWFULLY PUNCTUAL.
THAT'S SO ANNOYING.
THEY HAVE TO LIVE
WITH THEIR DEFICIENCIES.
I'LL GET IT.
IF IT'S LEONARD, I'LL CALL BACK.
HE'S SO NEEDY.
HELLO?
HUMONGOUS SNAG
IN THE C.D. DROP PLAN.
WHAT HAPPENED?
BIBLE CLASS HAS BEEN
MOVED AN HOUR LATER
ALL TO ACCOMMODATE THE
TEACHER'S HANDBALL SCHEDULE.
THE REVEREND PLAYS HANDBALL?
I'M JUST AS APPALLED.
SO IT'S AT 10:00
INSTEAD OF 9:00.
I'LL MAKE THE
NECESSARY ADJUSTMENTS.
THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
SO, ANYTHING NEW?
MY DAD BROUGHT HIS
GIRLFRIEND TO MY DEBATE.
THE POTENTIAL
STEPMOM? OH, MY GOD.
TELL ME WHAT'S SHE
LIKE? WHAT'D SHE SAY?
TELL ME IN 11 SECONDS 'CAUSE
THAT'S THE TIME I HAVE LEFT.
THAT'S TOO MUCH PRESSURE.
THEN WRITE A LONG,
DESCRIPTIVE LETTER
AND SLIP IT INTO
THE C.D. BOOKLET.
OH, AND INCLUDE A CANDID
POLAROID OF HER IF YOU CAN.
I'LL TRY. GOTTA GO.
BYE.
HEY, CAN WE COME IN?
YEAH, COME ON IN.
YOU LOOK GREAT.
YOU, TOO.
HI, THERE. YOU READY TO GO?
ALL SET.
OK, WE WON'T BE TOO LATE,
PROBABLY AROUND 10:00.
IF YOU WANT A DRINK, RORY'S GOT
THE LIST OF PLACES THAT SERVE MINORS.
I GOT A FLASK IN MY PURSE.
I'LL HAVE TO DRINK A LOT OF
COFFEE TO KEEP UP WITH YOU TWO.
DAMN, OUR SECRET'S
BEEN REVEALED.
BYE, LOVE.
HAVE FUN. OK.
BYE, SWEETS.
BYE.
THERE THEY GO.
YEAH, THERE THEY GO.
SHERRIE'S EXCITED ABOUT THIS.
SUCH A GREAT OPPORTUNITY, LOR.
THANKS FOR MAKING IT HAPPEN.
THAT'S WHAT I'M HERE FOR.
LET ME JUST GET MY
COAT, AND WE CAN GO.
GREAT.
CAN I ASK YOU A QUICK QUESTION?
SURE. WHAT?
WHEN I INVITED YOU TO RORY'S
DEBATE, WAS SHERRIE WITH YOU?
YEAH, OF COURSE. SHE'S BEEN
WITH ME THE WHOLE TRIP. WHY?
YOU GAVE ME NO INDICATION
THAT SHE WAS WITH YOU.
WHAT? I MUST HAVE.
NO, SINGULAR
PRONOUNS ALL THE WAY.
ACTUALLY I DON'T
REMEMBER WHAT I SAID.
I DO. YOU SAID, "I'LL BE
THERE," AS IN JUST YOU.
WELL, I MAY HAVE SAID THAT. BUT I
WASN'T MAKING A POINT OF SAYING THAT.
IT JUST CAME OUT THAT WAY.
OK, WHATEVER. I
WAS JUST WONDERING.
IT'S OK THAT I BROUGHT
SHERRIE ALONG, ISN'T IT?
ABSOLUTELY.
IT WAS JUST A
SURPRISE, THAT'S ALL.
OK.
YOU WEREN'T TRYING
TO HIDE THE FACT?
NO. I MEAN, OBVIOUSLY YOU'D FIND
OUT SHE WAS WITH ME ONCE WE ARRIVED.
OBVIOUSLY.
OK, THEN. OK.
SO WHAT DO YOU THINK OF HER?
OH, I DON'T KNOW HER
WELL ENOUGH TO JUDGE.
THAT'S NEVER STOPPED YOU
FROM JUDGING PEOPLE BEFORE.
HEY, BUDDY, I'M
TRYING TO GROW HERE.
SHE WAS SAYING REALLY
NICE THINGS ABOUT YOU.
REALLY?
YEAH. SHE SAID YOU GUYS
HAD A NICE TALK IN THE KITCHEN.
IF THAT'S WHAT SHE
SAID, THEN I GUESS WE DID.
LORELAI, COME ON. WHAT?
YOU'RE BEING VERY CRYPTIC.
DID SOMETHING HAPPEN
BETWEEN YOU TWO?
NO, I JUST...
I THOUGHT OUR CONVERSATION
IN THE KITCHEN WAS A LITTLE ODD.
AND THIS IS BEING LESS CRYPTIC?
IT'S JUST THAT SHE
WENT ON AND ON ABOUT
HOW WE NEVER HAVE TO BE FRIENDS
OR GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER AT ALL
OR TRY TO FORCE ANY
KIND OF RELATIONSHIP.
REALLY? SHE NEVER
MENTIONED THAT PART. HUH.
HOW COME SHE FIGURES
SHE NEVER HAS TO SEE ME?
I'M SURE SHE WAS TRYING TO MAKE
YOU FEEL AT EASE AROUND HER.
BECAUSE IT'S TRUE, YOU GUYS
DON'T HAVE TO FORCE ANYTHING.
WHERE'D SHE GET THIS
"DON'T FORCE IT" PHILOSOPHY?
NOT FROM ME.
YOU SURE?
YES, I'M SURE.
SO SHE JUST WANTS TO
GET TO KNOW RORY, NOT ME.
I DID STEER HER TOWARD
BONDING WITH RORY. I ADMIT THAT.
BUT NOT WITH ME.
RORY'S MY DAUGHTER, LORELAI.
SHERRIE HAS TO GET TO KNOW HER.
I KNOW.
I WASN'T PURPOSELY OMITTING YOU
OR SAYING NOT TO
INTERACT WITH YOU.
OH, GOOD, SO YOU'RE
NOT HAVING ME KILLED?
IN FACT I WAS JUST GOING
OVER MY "PEOPLE TO KILL" LIST,
AND I DON'T THINK
YOU WERE ON IT.
BECAUSE BY THE VERY FACT THAT
RORY EXISTS, I AM IN THE PICTURE.
YOU CAN BACK OFF, LORELAI,
YOU'LL BE IN SHERRIE'S LIFE.
GOOD.
NOT THAT YOU THOUGHT TO DO THE
SAME THING WHEN YOU WERE IN MY SHOES.
WHAT? WHAT ARE
YOU TALKING ABOUT?
YOU HAD A FIANCE, I BELIEVE.
YES. MAX.
RIGHT. MAX.
THAT WAS NOT THE SAME THING.
REALLY?
MAX KNEW RORY. MAX
GOT CLOSE TO RORY, RIGHT?
YES.
HE AND I NEVER MET.
I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HE
EXISTED UNTIL LATE IN THE GAME.
HELL, I DIDN'T KNOW
YOU WERE ENGAGED
TILL YOU CALLED ME FROM
YOUR BACHELORETTE PARTY.
AND I WASN'T INVITED
TO THE WEDDING.
OR DID MY INVITATION
GET LOST IN THE MAIL?
YOU'VE MOVED A
LOT THIS PAST YEAR.
I WAS NEVER PART
OF THAT EQUATION.
OK, MAYBE.
BUT TRUST ME, YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN
PART OF THE EQUATION EVENTUALLY.
REALLY, CHRIS, YOU WOULD HAVE.
THEN, TRUST ME,
LORELAI. EVENTUALLY,
YOU WOULD HAVE
BEEN PART OF THIS ONE.
CHRISTOPHER.
HELLO, EMILY.
WELL, THIS IS A
SURPRISE. WHERE'S RORY?
A LAST-MINUTE THING CAME UP,
BUT I BROUGHT A GOOD SUBSTITUTE.
HALF HER GENES IN A NICE,
NIFTY CHRISTOPHER PACKAGE.
WE'RE LETTING THE FREEZING
AIR GET IN. COME IN. COME IN.
IS SHE SICK?
THERE ARE TERRIBLE THINGS
MAKING THE ROUNDS THESE DAYS.
NO, SHE'S NOT SICK. HI, DAD.
HELLO, LORELAI.
CHRISTOPHER, THIS IS A SURPRISE.
A NICE ONE, I HOPE.
A VERY NICE ONE.
HOW ARE YOU, RICHARD?
YOU'RE LOOKING WELL.
SO ARE YOU. YOU PLAYING
A LOT OF GOLF LATELY?
UH, WELL, MORE
LIKE IT'S PLAYING ME.
LET'S NOT STAND HERE.
COME INTO THE LIVING ROOM.
NOW WHO WANTS A DRINK?
UH, MARTINI, MANHATTAN,
SOME SCOTCH?
YES, PLEASE.
YOU WANT TO NARROW
THAT DOWN FOR ME?
HOOCH IS HOOCH, DAD.
I'LL HAVE A MANHATTAN.
SAME HERE.
SO YOU NEVER SAID WHERE RORY IS.
RORY'S NOT HERE?
RICHMOND, YOU DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE
YOUR OWN GRANDDAUGHTER ISN'T HERE?
WELL, SHE'S SO QUIET. SHE
SOMETIMES SLIPS IN UNNOTICED.
SHE SHOULD WORK FOR THE C.I.A.
ONE CHERRY GOOD FOR EVERYBODY?
FINE WITH ME. ME, TOO.
8, PLEASE. I'M PECKISH.
WELL, I NOTICED
THAT RORY ISN'T HERE.
YOU'VE GOT THAT EAGLE EYE, MOM.
I'M AFRAID, IT'S MY FAULT. MY GIRLFRIEND
AND I WERE PASSING THROUGH TOWN
AND WE DROPPED BY
STARS HOLLOW FOR A VISIT.
AND SHE AND RORY ARE OFF
DOING SOMETHING TOGETHER.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
SHERRIE.
AND SHE AND RORY
ARE OUT TOGETHER?
I'M SORRY. I SHOULD
HAVE CALLED, MOM.
THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN THOUGHTFUL.
I MEAN, WE SET A PLACE FOR HER
AT THE TABLE AND EVERYTHING.
WELL, CHRIS IS HERE,
SO IT WON'T GO TO WASTE.
NORMALLY I DEMAND MY OWN
CUSTOMIZED PLACE SETTING.
SO HOW LONG HAVE YOU
BEEN WITH THIS WOMAN?
8 MONTHS.
HMM. I'LL BET SHE'S PRETTY.
YES, SHE'S VERY PRETTY.
SOMETHING IN YOUR EYE, LORELAI?
I GOT IT.
YOU'VE MET THIS WOMAN?
YES, MOM, I MET HER
TODAY. AND SHE'S VERY NICE.
WHAT DOES SHE DO? DOES SHE WORK?
UH, SHE'S THE EAST COAST
SALES REP FOR L'OREAL COSMETICS.
HMM, SOUNDS LIKE A
LOT OF RESPONSIBILITY.
IT KEEPS HER BUSY,
INVOLVES SOME TRAVEL.
WHAT ARE THEY DOING? WHAT?
RORY AND CHRISTOPHER'S FRIEND.
WHAT ARE THEY DOING TONIGHT?
DINNER AND A MOVIE.
SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
IT'S MY FAULT THAT
WE DIDN'T CALL.
YOUR WORK HAS
YOU TRAVELING, TOO.
SOME.
EVERYONE THINKS THAT TRAVELING
ON BUSINESS IS SO GLAMOROUS.
BUT WHAT THEY DON'T REALIZE
IS THAT THE BUSINESS TRAVELER
NEVER GETS TO SEE THE PLACES HE VISITS.
MY LAST TRIP TO ROME,
I SPENT THE WHOLE 4 DAYS IN A
CONFERENCE ROOM BY THE AIRPORT.
MIGHT AS WELL HAVE BEEN
IN FRENCH LICK, INDIANA.
MY TRIPS ARE MOSTLY
LOCAL, JUST ME AND MY VOLVO.
YOU HAVE A VOLVO?
THAT'S NEW, ISN'T IT?
I JUST GOT IT.
EXCELLENT CHOICE.
IT'S NICE AND SAFE.
THAT'S A GOOD FAMILY CAR.
IT'S ALSO EXCELLENT
FOR CRANKING METALLICA.
CRANKING METALLICA. MMM-HMM.
IF THAT'S SOME SORT OF DRUG
REFERENCE, IT ISN'T FUNNY.
SO YOU'RE PLANNING
ON HAVING A FAMILY?
WHAT? WITH THIS WOMAN.
HER NAME'S SHERRIE, MOM.
YOU'RE PUTTING CHRIS
ON THE SPOT HERE.
WELL, HE BOUGHT A FAMILY CAR.
IT'S A NATURAL QUESTION.
DAD CALLED IT A FAMILY CAR.
I'M SURE THE SALES
CONTRACT DOESN'T SAY
YOU HAVE TO HAVE A FAMILY
IN ORDER TO BUY THE CAR.
THOUGH I DIDN'T
READ THE FINE PRINT.
YOU ALWAYS DROVE A
MOTORCYCLE BEFORE, DIDN'T YOU?
I STILL GOT IT.
OH, A FAMILY MAN SHOULDN'T
RIDE A MOTORCYCLE.
THE ACCIDENTS I
COVERED FOR THE FIRM
INVOLVING
MOTORCYCLES, THE WORST.
GRISLY. THEY USE THIS
INDUSTRIAL MACHINE
TO SCRAPE THE VICTIMS OFF
THE ROAD LIKE A HUGE SPATULA.
HEY, MOUTHFUL OF CHERRIES HERE.
SO ARE YOU LIVING TOGETHER?
MOM, GET OUT THE INTERROGATION
LAMP, WHY DON'T YOU?
YEAH, BUT WE'RE LOOKING FOR
SOMETHING BIGGER IN THE BOSTON AREA.
THERE ARE A LOT OF
NICE, HISTORICAL PLACES.
SOMETHING HISTORICAL IN OUR
PRICE RANGE WOULD BE PERFECT.
YOU KNOW HISTORICAL HOMES
ARE INFESTED WITH MOLD, DON'T YOU?
MOLD?
IT GETS INSIDE THE WALLS AND GROWS
OUT OF SIGHT AND SHOOTS OFF SPORES
THAT SLOWLY KILL
YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.
YOU SHOULD GET A SHOW ON THE
HOME AND GARDEN CHANNEL, MOM.
WHEN DID YOU BECOME
AN EXPERT ON MOLD, EMILY?
IT WAS IN THE NEW
YORK TIMES MAGAZINE.
I'D HOLD OFF BUYING A PLACE WITH
THIS WOMAN UNTIL YOU LOOK INTO THIS.
SHERRIE. SHERRIE.
IT'S ACTUALLY GONNA COME DOWN
TO WHATEVER WE CAN AFFORD.
IT MIGHT JUST BE A
NEWLY-BUILT PLACE.
WITH THEIR SHODDY
CRAFTSMANSHIP? YOU DON'T WANT THAT.
WHAT DOES THAT
LEAVE THEM, A TEEPEE?
I'M SORRY. I JUST DON'T THINK THAT
RORY SHOULD MISS OUR DINNERS
FOR SOMETHING OTHER THAN
SICKNESS OR EMERGENCIES.
THAT WAS THE AGREEMENT.
I'M SORRY, EMILY. REALLY.
MOM, CHRIS HAS APOLOGIZED LIKE A
HUNDRED TIMES. HOW MANY MORE DO YOU WANT?
LISTEN, I CAN CALL SHERRIE AND HAVE
HER AND RORY COME BY AFTER THEIR MOVIE.
THAT WAY, IT WON'T BE A
TOTALLY RORY-LESS EVENING.
THAT'S NOT WHAT I WANT.
MOM, WE'RE DESPERATELY
TRYING TO WORK WITH YOU.
WORKING WITH ME IS ONE THING,
PATRONIZING ME IS ANOTHER.
EXCUSE ME.
I FEEL HORRIBLE.
DON'T, SON. THAT'S JUST EMILY.
I'LL GO SEE WHAT I CAN DO.
YOU WANNA TELL ME
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
HOW CAN YOU LET THAT HORRIBLE
WOMAN TAKE RORY LIKE THAT?
HEY, MOM. CALM DOWN.
IT'S ONLY ONE NIGHT.
THAT'S HOW IT STARTS.
SHE'S GETTING HER
CLAWS INTO HER.
HER CLAWS?
WE'LL NEVER SEE RORY AGAIN
IF THAT WOMAN HAS HER WAY.
MOM, HOLD IT. RORY IS
MY DAUGHTER, YOU KNOW.
I HAVE SOME CONTROL OVER THIS.
SHE'S NOT GETTING RORY ON
WEEKENDS. YOU CAN'T LET THAT HAPPEN.
WHAT IS THIS ABOUT? WHY
ARE YOU SO FLIPPED OUT?
LORELAI, ARE YOU BLIND
OR JUST THAT HUMILIATED?
HUMILIATED?
CHRISTOPHER GETS HIS LIFE
TOGETHER WITH THAT WOMAN.
SO THAT'S GOOD.
IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN YOU.
WHAT?
DON'T PLAY DUMB,
LORELAI. YOU KNOW IT, TOO.
AND DEEP DOWN, I KNOW
YOU'RE HEARTBROKEN.
I'M NOT HEARTBROKEN.
WELL, I AM.
I ALWAYS HAVE THE PICTURE IN MY
MIND OF THE THREE OF YOU TOGETHER.
AFTER ALL THESE YEARS, AND ALL
THE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPENED,
RORY WITH BOTH HER PARENTS.
AND NOW THAT CHRISTOPHER'S GOT HIS
LIFE TOGETHER, IT'S WITH HER, NOT YOU.
MOM, THE TIMING WAS
NEVER RIGHT FOR US.
THAT'S BECAUSE YOU
DAWDLE TIME AWAY.
YOU COULD'VE HAD
THAT EFFECT ON HIM.
IT COULD'VE BEEN THE PERSON TO
HELP HIM GET HIS LIFE TOGETHER,
BUT YOU MADE NO EFFORT.
SO NOW THIS COMES DOWN TO SOMETHING I
DIDN'T DO? DON'T PUT THAT ON ME, MOTHER!
WHAT OTHER EXPLANATION IS THERE?
HE'S ALWAYS BEEN
CRAZY ABOUT YOU,
BUT YOU ALWAYS KEPT HIM AT
ARM'S LENGTH, LIKE YOU DO EVERYONE.
THAT'S NOT TRUE. IT IS TRUE.
YOUR DESTINY WAS TO BE WITH
CHRISTOPHER. NOW IT'S TOO LATE.
THEN IT WASN'T OUR DESTINY!
SO YOU'RE SAYING YOU DON'T
HAVE FEELINGS FOR HIM, LORELAI,
THAT ALL OF THIS IS
JUST FINE WITH YOU?
THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT. IT'S NOT?
NO. WHAT'S IMPORTANT IS THAT
CHRISTOPHER IS DOING WELL AND HE'S HAPPY,
AND WE SHOULD BE HAPPY FOR HIM.
YOU'RE IMPOSSIBLE.
I NEED TO LIE DOWN.
TELL CHRISTOPHER...
TELL HIM WHATEVER
YOU LIKE, I DON'T CARE.
HEY.
HEY.
YOU ALONE THIS MORNING?
NO, RORY'S WITH ME.
SHE JUST HAD TO RUN AN ERRAND.
TAKE WHATEVER TABLE YOU WANT.
OK.
YOU OK? YEAH.
YOU DON'T SEEM
YOUR CHIPPER SELF.
I BROUGHT SOME SPARKLERS.
I'LL LIGHT THEM LATER
AND DO SOME KICKS.
I CAN CLEAR THE COUNTER, AND
YOU CAN PLAY BAGEL HOCKEY.
YOU CAN'T PLAY BY YOURSELF.
I'LL PLAY WITH YOU.
YOU'LL HAVE TO
EXPLAIN THE RULES.
IT'S OK.
I'M JUST RECOVERING
FROM LAST NIGHT.
IT WAS ONE OF THOSE NIGHTS
WHERE YOU START OFF
STEPPING IN QUICKSAND
AND END UP WITH A 16-TON
ANVIL LANDING ON YOUR HEAD.
I'VE HAD LOTS OF THOSE.
I'LL BRING YOU SOME COFFEE.
CAN'T HURT.
YOU ORDER?
NO, JUST COFFEE.
I MUST HAVE BEEN SOUND ASLEEP
WHEN YOU GOT HOME LAST NIGHT.
YOU WERE SNORING
LIKE A BUZZ SAW.
I BELIEVE THAT'S DEFINED
AS A SUPERFLUOUS COMMENT.
YES, YOU WERE SOUND ASLEEP.
SO, I'M DYING TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR
NIGHT WITH SHERRIE. HOW WAS IT?
GIVE IT TO ME, "A" TO "Z",
BEGINNING TO END, SOUP TO NUTS.
WELL, SHE IS WHAT SHE SEEMS.
DETAILS, PLEASE.
SHE'S A VERY CAUTIOUS DRIVER, SHE
DOESN'T ROLL THROUGH STOP SIGNS,
DOESN'T SPEED, SHE ALWAYS
SIGNALS BEFORE SHE TURNS.
COMMENDABLE, BUT NOT THE PERSON
I WANT DRIVING OUR GETAWAY CAR.
WHAT ARE WE ROBBING?
SEPHORA. WE'D PLANNED IT.
SLIPPED MY MIND.
WHAT'S HER MUSIC TASTE?
BIG BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN
FAN, SEEN HIM LIKE 20 TIMES.
BLUE-COLLAR ROOTS OR
IS SHE JUST SLUMMING?
HER FATHER OWNED A SHOE STORE,
AND HER MOM TAUGHT KINDERGARTEN.
WOW. YOU GUYS GOT INTO DETAILS.
SHE WAS DEFINITELY
IN BONDING MODE.
WHAT ELSE? WHAT ELSE?
SHE'S VERY TOUCHY-FEELY, HAND
ON THE SHOULDER, LOTS OF HUGS.
DID SHE TRY TO GET FRESH?
GROSS.
GO ON.
UH, SHE'S HAD ONE PRIOR
SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP IN HER LIFE.
FINALLY, THE JUICY STUFF.
AND IT LASTED 11 YEARS.
11 YEARS AND SHE
NEVER GOT MARRIED?
SHE SAID SHE NEVER THOUGHT
ABOUT IT BECAUSE OF HER CAREER,
BUT NOW SHE IS, MORE AND MORE.
TICK-TOCK. TICK-TOCK.
IN THE PAST COUPLE OF YEARS,
SHE HASN'T DATED ANYONE,
UNLESS SHE THOUGHT THAT FOR SURE
IT COULD BE A LASTING RELATIONSHIP.
AND SHE'S GOT SPECIFIC GOALS
NOW CONCERNING CHILDREN.
OH, HERE WE GO.
SHE WANTS AT LEAST 2.
AND BEFORE SHE MET DAD, SHE WAS
SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING SINGLE PARENTHOOD.
THAT'S WANTING KIDS.
THAT'S ABOUT IT.
SHE WORKS FOR L'OREAL.
HM, I HEARD THAT.
I'M TAPPED. HOW WAS YOUR NIGHT?
OH, FINE, JUST TOOK MOM WHOLE 5
MINUTES BEFORE SHE LEFT THE ROOM IN TEARS.
WHAT?
SHE FREAKED OUT THAT YOU WERE
WITH SHERRIE. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?
SHE FREAKED?
TOTALLY. SHE KEPT
CALLING HER "THAT WOMAN."
WHAT DID SHE THINK?
YOU'D COME HOME AND FIND A
RABBIT BOILING ON THE STOVE?
NO, IT HAD TO DO WITH
HER AND CHRISTOPHER...
ANYWAY, EVENTUALLY SHE CAME
DOWN AND HAD A POUTY DINNER.
SO IT ENDED UP OK?
FOR THE MOST PART.
IS SHE MAD AT ME?
NO, THE ANGEL CHILD, NEVER.
HERE YOU GO.
THANK YOU.
THANKS.
SO, UM,
I WANT TO ASK YOU SOMETHING.
ASK.
WHEN YOU'VE THOUGHT
ABOUT ME AND YOUR DAD,
WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN
THINKING ALL THESE YEARS?
UM, WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
I MEAN,
DID YOU EVER PICTURE
US POTENTIALLY TOGETHER,
LIKE, "WE ARE FAMILY" TOGETHER?
WELL, NOT REALLY.
BUT, SORT OF? IT
CROSSED YOUR MIND?
I FEEL LIKE I'M ON
THE RICKI LAKE SHOW.
GO, RORY! GO, RORY!
WEL, I'LL ADMIT I HAVE
PICTURED THE THREE OF US
LIVING TOGETHER
AT VARIOUS TIMES,
BUT IN THE WAY THAT
ALL KIDS PICTURE,
THEIR ESTRANGED
PARENTS LIVING TOGETHER.
THE WAY THEY SHOULD BE
TOGETHER, BUT IT'S STUPID.
IT'S NOT STUPID.
YEAH, I'VE PICTURED IT.
BUT I ALSO PICTURED YOU
WITH PEE WEE HERMAN.
WOW.
WE LIVED IN HIS PLAYHOUSE,
AND WE'D BE TALKING TO CHAIRY,
AND CAPTAIN CARL
WOULD BE WALKING BY.
FUN.
YEAH. OH, AND LATER, I PICTURED
YOU MARRYING MATTHEW BRODERICK.
AND WE LIVED IN NEW YORK IN THIS
GREAT APARTMENT IN THE VILLAGE
AND WE WOULD TALK ABOUT
HIS FERRIS BUELLER DAYS.
TJUST HINK HOW EASY PRODUCERS
TICKETS WOULD BE TO GET.
OH, IT WOULD BE 4TH
ROW CENTER EVERY NIGHT.
I'M SORRY
THAT MATTHEW AND I
COULDN'T WORK IT OUT, HONEY.
I'LL TRY TO GET OVER IT.
SO SHOULD IT HAVE BEEN ME?
HUH?
OOPS. SORRY, ZERO
HOUR. I HAVE TO GO.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
COME ON. COME ON.
EXCUSE ME, MRS. KIM? I'M KIRK.
I KNOW. I'VE KNOWN
YOU SINCE YOU WERE 2.
THAT'S NO GUARANTEE
THAT PEOPLE REMEMBER ME.
WE'RE IN A HURRY.
I WON'T TAKE UP MUCH TIME.
I WAS JUST WONDERING
WHAT YOUR STORE HOURS ARE.
FOR PEOPLE WHO COME TO
BUY THINGS AND COME WITH CASH,
IT'S 10:00 TO 6:00,
SUNDAY THROUGH FRIDAY.
FOR THOSE WHO WANDER AROUND, BLOCKING
AISLES, TOUCHING THINGS WITH DIRTY HANDS,
NEVER BUYING, ASKING FOR
80 PERCENT OFF, WE'RE CLOSED.
I SHOULD JOT THIS DOWN.
YOU SAID 10:00 TO
6:00. THAT'S 10:00 A.M.?
YES.
OK. GOT IT. THANKS
FOR YOUR TIME.
OH, MY GOD. MICHEL, ARE YOU OK?
I'VE BEEN RUNNING AROUND THIS
STUPID SQUARE FOR OVER AN HOUR.
WHY?
WHY? BECAUSE THE PLAN WAS TO DROP THIS C.D.
- 00.
NO, IT GOT CHANGED TO 10:00.
I TOLD MY MOM, AND SHE
SAID SHE'D PASS IT ON.
SHE DIDN'T PASS IT ON, DID SHE?
DEFINITELY NOT.
OH, WELL, THE MISSION
WAS A SUCCESS.
YES, MY CARDIOLOGIST
WILL BE THRILLED.
AH! I'VE GOT A CRAMP.
I'VE GOT A CRAMP.
CAN I DO ANYTHING FOR YOU?
GET AWAY FROM ME, EVIL GIRL.
NEVER WILL I DO ANYTHING FOR
YOU AGAIN EVER, EVER, NEVER!
IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL ANY BETTER,
YOU HAD REALLY GOOD FORM.
YOU'RE YOUR MOTHER'S CHILD.
THANK YOU.
HEY, GUYS.
HI.
WE JUST WANTED TO
SAY A LAST GOODBYE.
RORY'S NOT HERE?
SHE WENT OUTSIDE SOMEWHERE.
YOU COULD PROBABLY FIND HER.
OK. I THINK I WILL.
WE HAD SUCH A
GREAT TIME LAST NIGHT.
SO I HEAR YOUR DINNER WAS GOOD.
OH, YEAH, IT WAS GREAT.
I WOULD LOVE TO SEE
THAT HOUSE SOMETIME,
ESPECIALLY THE PORTRAIT
OF RORY IN THE STUDY.
ANY WAY I COULD GET A PICTURE?
I CAN SEND YOU ONE.
THAT WOULD BE GREAT.
SO SHE'S OUTSIDE?
SOMEWHERE.
I'M GONNA TRY TO CORRAL HER.
YEAH, BRING HER BY
SO I CAN SEE HER, TOO.
OK. BYE, LORELAI.
THANKS FOR EVERYTHING.
OH, YOU'RE WELCOME. BYE.
SO, QUITE THE EVENING
OF THEATER LAST NIGHT.
UH-HUH, YES. THE GILMORE FAMILY
PLAYERS RIVAL THE BARRYMORES
FOR THEIR SOPHISTICATED,
DRAMATIC PRODUCTIONS.
I NEVER THOUGHT SHE'D FREAK
OVER RORY NOT BEING THERE LIKE THAT.
I NEVER WANTED TO PUT
YOU IN THAT POSITION.
AH, YOU COULDN'T HAVE KNOWN.
I MEAN RORY'S MISSED THE
OCCASIONAL DINNER BEFORE.
YEAH, WELL, THIS WAS
COMPOUNDED BY OTHER THINGS.
WHAT OTHER THINGS?
YOU SHOULD KNOW AS WELL AS I
THAT WHEN IT COMES TO EMILY
GILMORE, IT'S NEVER SIMPLE.
GOT IT. AH! LOOKS LIKE
THEY FOUND EACH OTHER.
YOU KNOW, SHERRIE HAD A
REALLY GOOD TIME LAST NIGHT.
I HOPE RORY DID, TOO.
YEAH, SHE SEEMED TO.
GOOD. GOOD.
SO, CHRIS, BEFORE YOU GO, UM,
I HAVE SOMETHING I
WANT TO SAY TO YOU.
UH-OH. IT'S NOT AN "UH-OH."
OK. WHAT?
WELL, I, UM, KIND OF
REALIZED SOMETHING
WITH YOU AND SHERRIE VISITING
AND, GOD HELP ME, BECAUSE OF
SOMETHING MY MOTHER SAID TO ME.
WOW. INSPIRATION CAN COME
FROM THE UNLIKELIEST SOURCES.
I WAS JUST THINKING, YOU
KNOW, ALL THESE YEARS
NO MATTER WHAT MY
RELATIONSHIP STATUS HAS BEEN,
WHETHER I'VE BEEN DATING
OR HIBERNATING OR WHATEVER,
I THINK I'VE ALWAYS HAD
YOU IN THE BACK OF MY MIND,
YOU KNOW, THE PROSPECT
OF US BEING TOGETHER.
BUT THIS PROSPECT WAS
SORT OF INDEFINITELY ON HOLD
WHILE YOU, YOU KNOW, FOUND YOURSELF
AND, UH, GOT YOUR PERSONAL LIFE TOGETHER,
SO THAT YOU COULD REALLY BE THERE
FOR ME AND ESPECIALLY FOR RORY.
BUT YOU AND I HAVE
BEEN SO LINKED IN MY MIND
THAT I THINK I'VE
UNCONSCIOUSLY SABOTAGED
EVERY DECENT
RELATIONSHIP I'VE HAD
INCLUDING THE ONE WITH MAX,
BECAUSE I WAS WAITING FOR YOU.
AND I SHOULDN'T HAVE
BEEN. NOW THAT I SEE THAT
AND I SEE YOU SETTLING
DOWN WITH SHERRIE,
I THINK I CAN MOVE BEYOND IT.
GOOD, I'M REALLY GLAD
IT'S GOOD FOR YOU, LORELAI.
IT IS.
CHRIS.
HOW DARE YOU PUT THAT ON ME?
I'M JUST THANKING YOU.
WELL, DON'T.
AH, WHAT'S WRONG?
WHAT'S WRONG?
DAMN IT, LORELAI.
YOU'RE DUMPING 15 YEARS
OF UNHAPPINESS ON ME?
15 YEARS OF NOT HAVING HEALTHY,
LASTING RELATIONSHIPS ON ME?
YOU'RE BLAMING ME FOR
BREAKING UP WITH MAX
AND NOT MARRYING?
THAT'S MY FAULT?
NO, I JUST...
I DID NOTHING TO DESERVE THAT.
I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU DID.
YOU'RE AS GOOD AS SAYING IT.
NO, I'M NOT.
THEN WHAT DID YOU EXPECT TO
COME FROM THIS DIVINE REVELATION
THAT YOU'VE BEEN SO
KIND TO SHARE WITH ME?
DID YOU WANT ME TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU
FOR RUINING YOUR LIFE OR COMFORT YOU
"THERE, THERE. EVERYTHING
WILL BE ALL RIGHT,"
SO YOU CAN FEEL OK? FORGET IT!
CHRIS, WAIT.
IF THERE'S ANYTHING YOU
FEEL BAD ABOUT YOUR LIFE,
YOU WANT TO DUMP ON MY
DOORSTEP, JUST LEAVE A NOTE.