Gilmore Girls (2000–2007): Season 2, Episode 13 - A-Tisket, A-Tasket - full transcript

PREVIOUSLY ON GILMORE GIRLS:

LUKE IS A GREAT GUY.

HE'S VERY SPECIAL.

YOU'RE INCREDIBLY
LUCKY TO HAVE HIM.

ARE YOU SLEEPING WITH HIM?

EXCUSE ME?

I HAVE TO GO.

WAIT, CAN I GET YOUR NUMBER?

LAST NAME'S KIM. WE'RE THE
ONLY ONES IN STARS HOLLOW.

I JUST GAVE MY NUMBER TO A
POTENTIAL KOREAN DOCTOR.

YOU KNOW, YOU DON'T
KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ME,

OR MY LIFE, OR MY MOM, OR LUKE.

SO WHY DON'T YOU
DR. LAURA SOMEONE ELSE?

I'M GOING INSIDE.
STAY OUT OF MY FRIDGE.

HELLO.

HOLD ON.

HENRY? HERE.

LANE? HERE.

OK, GUYS, TALK TO YOU LATER.

RORY, HOW ARE YOU?

I'M GOOD. HOW'RE YOU DOING?

JACKSON?

WHAT?

WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO TO
DINNER SOMETIME WITH ME?

OK.

LUKE, I'M SORRY.

THAT KID IS WAY MORE SCREWED
UP THAN YOU THINK HE IS.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT?

GET OFF ME, MAN,
I'M NOT FIGHTING YOU.

JESS, KNOCK IT OFF MAN.

WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?

NOTHIN'.

I'M NOT READY FOR MARRIAGE.

OK.

HOWEVER, I'D BE
WILLING TO MOVE IN.

MOVE IN WHERE?

MOVE IN WITH YOU.

JACKSON, YOU'RE HILARIOUS.

YOU STOLE MY BOOK.

I JUST WANTED TO PUT SOME
NOTES IN THE MARGINS FOR YOU.

YOU'VE READ THIS BEFORE.

ABOUT 40 TIMES.

I THOUGHT YOU SAID
YOU DIDN'T READ MUCH.

GOOD NIGHT, RORY.

GOOD NIGHT, DODGER.

DODGER?

FIGURE IT OUT.

OLIVER TWIST.

SO, I'VE DECIDED

I'M SAVING MYSELF
FOR WILLIAM HOLDEN.

WELL, IT'S NICE OUT
HERE IN LEFT FIELD.

HEY, I'M SORRY SUNSET
BOULEVARD WAS ON LAST NIGHT.

I DON'T KNOW. I'VE KNOWN HIM
FOR YEARS, SABRINA, STALAG 17

AND YET, LAST NIGHT,
SOMETHING SNAPPED.

I'LL SAY.

I THINK IT WAS THE MONKEY SCENE.

YOU KNOW HE'S DEAD? THE MONKEY?

WILLIAM HOLDEN.

EVERY GREAT RELATIONSHIP
HAS ITS OBSTACLES.

YOU'D KNOW THAT IF YOU
WEREN'T DATING ANDY HARDY.

THIS ONE? NO.

WHY?

IT'S TOO BIG. IT
RAISES EXPECTATIONS.

LIKE THERE'S ACTUALLY A
HOME-COOKED LUNCH IN THERE?

INSTEAD OF THE LEFTOVERS IN
OUR REFRIGERATOR? EXACTLY.

OK. GOING BACK ON THE PILE NOW.

OH, IT'S QUAINT, ISN'T IT?

THE WOMEN GET TO MAKE A NICE
LUNCH BASKET, THE MEN GET TO BID ON IT

AND THE WORLD ROTATES
BACKWARDS ON ITS AXIS.

I THINK IT'S FUN.

THAT'S BECAUSE YOU HAVE A
PRETTY BOY TO BID ON YOUR BASKET.

YES, I DO.

DID YOU TELL HIM
TO EAT LUNCH FIRST?

I LOVE HIM. OF COURSE.

OK, I'M GONNA LOOK IN THE BACK.

ALL RIGHT, I'LL HIT THE FRONT.

HEY, PATTY, SHOPPING
FOR BASKETS?

NO, PLEASE. I BOUGHT
MY BASKET WEEKS AGO.

ALWAYS PREPARED.

WELL, I'M GETTING
THAT ITCH AGAIN.

OH, NO, PATTY. YOU DON'T
ACTUALLY NEED ANOTHER HUSBAND.

NEED? NO. BUT WANT?
THAT'S A DIFFERENT STORY.

LISTEN, DARLING, DO YOU
HAPPEN TO HAVE CHANGE FOR $1?

I THINK SO.

I DON'T KNOW WHERE
MY QUARTERS GO.

DOWN SOME GUY'S
G-STRING, I WOULD EXPECT.

OH, NO. A QUARTER
WOULD BE INSULTING.

HERE YOU GO.

OH, THANK YOU SO...

I GOT IT.

NO, NO, THAT'S OK.

THIS IS A PICTURE OF ME.

IT IS?

YEAH.

WHY DO YOU HAVE A PICTURE
OF ME IN YOUR WALLET?

OH, OH, WELL, IT'S A
VERY NICE PICTURE.

THANK YOU. WHY DO YOU HAVE A VERY
NICE PICTURE OF ME IN YOUR WALLET?

I'M A STALKER? OR?

OR WHEN, IN MY DAILY TRAVELS,

I RUN ACROSS A
NICE, SINGLE GUY...

OH, GOD!

I LIKE TO HAVE A
VISUAL AID TO HELP ME

WITH THE WONDERFUL
BUILDUP I GIVE YOU.

PATTY, I APPRECIATE THE GESTURE, BUT
I DON'T NEED YOU TO TRY TO SET ME UP.

YOU'RE SUCH A BEAUTIFUL GIRL,
AND YOU DESERVE A NICE GUY.

I'LL HAVE A NICE GUY,
BUT LET ME FIND HIM, OK?

BUT YOU'RE NO
GOOD AT FINDING HIM.

PATTY.

OH, ALL RIGHT.

THANK YOU. I'LL KEEP
THIS, IF YOU DON'T MIND.

STUBBORN GIRL.

NOT THAT ONE.

YOU GET NO SAY IN THE BASKET.

I HAVE TO BID ON IT.

AND YOU HAVE TO
EAT WHAT'S INSIDE,

AND GET NO SAY ON THAT EITHER.

HEY.

YEAH?

IS TAYLOR BEHIND ME?

NO.

WHAT, TAYLOR?

JESS.

SORRY TO INTRUDE. WHY DID YOU?

WELL, YOU'RE HAVING A VERTICAL
FROM HERE TO ETERNITY MOMENT

RIGHT IN FRONT
OF THE SUPER GLUE.

OH.

NOT THAT THAT'S NOT AN
APPROPRIATE PLACE, BUT...

HERE'S YOUR GLUE.

THANKS. AS YOU WERE.

I REALLY HATE THAT GUY.

HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.

HE'S HERE, HE'S
BREATHING. THAT'S ENOUGH.

I REALLY WISH YOU
TWO COULD START OVER.

WHY?

BECAUSE HE LIVES
HERE. WE RUN INTO HIM.

HE GOES TO YOUR SCHOOL.
IT WOULD BE EASIER.

I'M FINE WITH THE
WHOLE HATING HIM THING.

I JUST THINK IT'S A
WASTE OF ENERGY.

YOU KNOW, I'LL HAVE A POWERBAR.

FINE. FORGET IT.

SO, UH, I SHOULD PROBABLY
GET BACK TO WORK.

WE STILL ON FOR TONIGHT?

I DON'T KNOW. I MIGHT BE BAKING.

I'LL PICK YOU UP AT 7:00.

GET THAT ONE. IT'S
NICE AND SMALL.

BYE.

GOD!

SORRY.

2-FOR-1 SALE.

♪

♪ IF YOU'RE OUT ON THE ROAD ♪

♪ FEELING LONELY, AND SO COLD ♪

♪ ALL YOU HAVE TO
DO IS CALL MY NAME ♪

♪ AND I'LL BE THERE
ON THE NEXT TRAIN ♪

♪ WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW ♪

♪ ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO ♪

♪ IF YOU NEED, YOU
NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU ♪

♪ I WILL FOLLOW, OH ♪

♪ WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW ♪

♪ ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO ♪

♪ IF YOU NEED, YOU
NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU ♪

♪ I WILL FOLLOW WHERE YOU LEAD ♪

INDEPENDENCE INN.
LORELAI SPEAKING.

OH, SURE. UH, WHAT
DATES ARE YOU LOOKING AT?

HOLD ON ONE SEC.

UM, WOULD YOU LIKE A
KING OR A QUEEN-SIZE BED?

WELL, YOU HAVE YOUR CHOICE.

I'VE GOT A ROOM WITH THE
KING-SIZE AND A ROOM WITH 2 QUEENS.

UH-HUH.

OH.

WELL, DO YOU THINK
YOU'LL MAKE UP BY THEN?

YIKES! I... I WOULD TAKE THE
ROOM WITH THE 2 QUEENS.

UH-HUH.

UH-HUH.

OH, GOD! SORRY.

NO, N-NOTHING. NOTHING'S WRONG.

I, UH... EVERYTHING'S...
Y-YES, GREAT.

CALL ME BACK WHEN YOU KNOW.

OK. THANK YOU.

SO, PATTY HAS TAKEN IT UPON
HERSELF TO FIND ME A MAN.

OH, REALLY? YES.

HERE IN MY HAND I HAVE THE PICTURES
AND RESUMES OF THE TOP 3 CONTENDERS.

ANYONE GOOD?

NO. BUT 2 OF THEM HAVE
RUN WITH THE BULLS.

THIS IS SO HUMILIATING.
I CAN FIND MY OWN MAN.

SHE JUST LOVES YOU.

YEAH, BUT, YOU KNOW... EW!

SOOKIE? I...

JACKSON, DON'T LOOK!
COVER YOUR EYES!

OK, OK, I'M SORRY. NOW,
WHY AM I DOING THIS?

BECAUSE I'M BAKING FOR
THE PICNIC TOMORROW,

AND IT'S SUPPOSED
TO BE A SURPRISE.

OH, SURE. NEVER SEE A
PIE BEFORE AN AUCTION.

IT'S BAD LUCK.

OK, YOU GUYS TALK.
I... I HAVE TO CALL PATTY

AND STOP THE FORCED
MATING PROCESS.

I FEEL LIKE LING-LING
THE PANDA BEAR.

OH, HEY, ONE OF THEM'S
SEEN GHOSTBUSTERS 124 TIMES.

CAN YOU SAY "SCORE"?

OK. WHAT'S UP?

WELL, I'M SORRY, CAN
I PUT MY HAND DOWN?

I... I NEED TO LOOK
AT YOU WHEN I TALK.

UH,

HOLD ON.

GO.

I GOT A CALL FROM MY
LANDLORD TODAY REMINDING ME

THAT MY LEASE IS UP AT THE
END OF THIS MONTH. UH-HUH.

SO, OF COURSE HE WANTED TO KNOW

WHETHER I WAS GONNA
RE-UP IT OR NOT. UH-HUH.

BUT I TOLD HIM THAT I
HAD TO TALK TO YOU FIRST.

OK. ABOUT WHAT?

ABOUT RE-UPPING MY LEASE.

MMM-HMM.

SO WHAT DO YOU THINK?

ABOUT RE-UPPING YOUR LEASE?

YES.

WELL, YOU HAVE A
VERY NICE KITCHEN.

YES. I KNOW.

AND I LIKE YOUR LIVING ROOM, THOUGH
THAT HOUSE ACROSS THE STREET

HAS SORT OF THAT
CREEPY MIAMI BEACH BLUE

WHICH MEANS, DURING THE DAY, YOU
REALLY CAN'T LOOK OUT YOUR WINDOW.

BUT AT NIGHT IT'S NOT SO BAD.

SOOKIE, FORGET ABOUT THE
HOUSE ACROSS THE STREET.

WHAT? IF YOU FORGET ABOUT
THE HOUSE ACROSS THE STREET,

I DON'T SEE WHY YOU SHOULDN'T.

YOU DON'T? NO.

OH, OK. FINE.

UM, I JUST WANTED TO
CHECK WITH YOU FIRST.

OH, I APPRECIATE THAT.

SO, UM, I GUESS I'LL GO
RE-UP MY LEASE THEN.

SOUNDS GOOD.

YEAH. SOUNDS GOOD.

KNOW WHAT'S WONDERFUL
ABOUT THE FESTIVAL? NO, WHAT?

IT ALWAYS FALLS ON THE
DAY AFTER TRASH DAY.

SO EVERYTHING YOU
FORGOT TO THROW OUT,

AND WOULD NORMALLY
BE STUCK WITH FOR A WEEK,

YOU CAN INSTEAD PUT IN A PRETTY
BASKET AND AUCTION OFF FOR CHARITY.

THAT IS WONDERFUL.

OK, I'VE GOT IT ALL WORKED OUT.

TELL, PLEASE.

WELL, I INVITED MY COUSIN DAVID
TO COME AND BID ON MY BASKET,

YOU KNOW, TO KEEP
MY MOTHER HAPPY.

THEN WHEN HE GETS IT, WE TELL MY
MOM WE'RE GONNA GO EAT AT THE PARK

WHERE HENRY'S GONNA
CALL ON THE PAYPHONE

AT EXACTLY 2:00 FOR
THE ALL'S CLEAR SIGN.

THEN DAVID WITH THE $20 I
GAVE HIM WILL DISAPPEAR.

HENRY WILL ARRIVE, AND WE'LL
HAVE OUR FIRST OFFICIAL DATE.

MY HEAD IS SPINNING.

STASH THIS FOR
ME AT MISS PATTY'S.

DON'T YOU NEED IT FOR DAVID?

OH, NO, MY MOM PACKED THAT ONE.

HOMEMADE GRANOLA, WHEATGRASS
JUICE, SOY-CHICKEN TACO.

OUR LUNCHES ARE LOOKING GOOD.

THIS IS THE HENRY BASKET.
I WENT BY GIANELLI'S,

STOPPED IN AND GOT A COUPLE OF
MEATBALL HEROES AND SOME CHIPS.

I ALSO PACKED A
CHANGE OF CLOTHES,

MAKEUP, MAKEUP REMOVER,
AND 3 TEMPORARY TATTOOS.

SURE. 'CAUSE 4 IS TRASHY.

I GOTTA GO. GOT TO
SNEAK BACK IN MY HOUSE!

I'M SO EXCITED!

OH, MAN.

I REMEMBER THE DAYS OF LYING
TO MY MOTHER ABOUT A BOY.

ONCE I HAD A BOY
HIDDEN IN THE CLOSET.

OF COURSE MOM WOULDN'T LEAVE.

SO, I FINALLY HAD TO PRETEND TO
GET SICK TO GET HER OUT OF THE ROOM

LONG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO CLIMB
OUT THE WINDOW AND DOWN THE TREE.

HE FELL. BROKE HIS LEG.

OH, TO BE YOUNG AGAIN.

SOLD FOR $15 TO THE
MAN IN THE YELLOW!

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

NOW, THE NEXT BASKET I HAVE HERE

IS A LOVELY GREEN-WICKER NUMBER

THAT WOULD BE A
CHARMING ADDITION

TO ANY ROOM ONCE
THE LUNCH IS GONE.

LET'S START THE BIDDING
AT $5. DO I HEAR $5?

$5.

OK, I HAVE $5. DO I HEAR $10?

$10.

WITHDRAWN.

OK, I'M STILL AT
$5. DO I HEAR $10?

$5 GOING ONCE, $5 GOING TWICE.

SOLD TO THE YOUNG MAN FOR $5!

YOU KNOW WHAT'S NICE?

YOU CAN PUT A COUPLE OF EXTRA
ROLLS OF TOILET PAPER IN THERE

AND STICK IT SOMEPLACE IN THE
BATHROOM. DECORATIVE AND CONVENIENT.

THIS MAY NOT LOOK LIKE MUCH...

MINE.

NICE.

BUT REMEMBER, PEOPLE, GOOD
THINGS COME IN SMALL PACKAGES.

HOW BADLY DOES HE WANT
TO BE HOSTING A GAME SHOW?

HE CAN TASTE IT.

LET'S START THE BIDDING AT $3.

HEY.

$5.

HE'S GOOD. HE'S VERY GOOD.

$5. DO I HEAR $10?

$10.

OK, I HAVE $10. DO I HEAR $15?

$20.

$20, DO I HEAR $25?

$30.

ALL RIGHT, SEE, YOU BOYS DON'T SEEM
TO UNDERSTAND THE WAY THIS WORKS.

$40.

$50.

EXCUSE ME, HAVE EITHER OF YOU
NOTICED HOW TINY THIS THING IS?

$75.

WE'RE NOT TALKING
SENSE, GENTLEMEN...

UH-OH, DEAN'S HESITATING.

$80.

HE DOESN'T HAVE $80
TO SPEND ON A BASKET.

$90.

$90. IS THAT CORRECT?

YOU KNOW, I DON'T
THINK HE'LL HAVE TO.

OK, WE'VE GOT $90 GOING
ONCE, $90 GOING TWICE.

SOLD TO THE NICE YOUNG
HOODLUM IN THE BACK FOR $90.

I'M TRYING TO THINK
IN WHAT SCENARIO

THIS SITUATION COULD BE
CONSTRUED AS POSITIVE.

WELL?

UH, NO ONE'S HEAD IS ON FIRE.

I BETTER GO TALK TO DEAN.

DO YOU WANT HELP?

NO, IT'S OK. I'M JUST OFFICIALLY

NOT A FAN OF UNPREDICTABILITY.

TOTALLY UNDERSTAND. GOOD LUCK.

$5 ON THIS ONE. DO I HEAR $5?

$5.

$5, THAT'S GOOD. HOW ABOUT $10?

I'LL GO $10.

$10. LET'S KEEP GOING.
LOOK AT ITS SIZE.

I'M GONNA KILL HIM!

DEAN, HE'S PROBABLY
JUST FOOLING AROUND.

HE WAS MESSING WITH ME!

HE WAS MESSING WITH ME, AND
IT'S THE LAST TIME, I SWEAR TO GOD.

DEAN, CALM DOWN.

WHY WOULD HE DO THIS?

MAYBE HE WAS HUNGRY.

HE'S TRYING TO MAKE ME CRAZY.

JUST DON'T LET HIM.

I GOT TO TELL YOU, OF ALL THE
NUTTY, BARN-RAISING SHINDIGS

THIS TOWN CAN COOK UP,
THIS ONE WASN'T HALF BAD.

I'M GLAD YOU ENJOYED
IT. YES, I DID. SHALL WE?

SHALL WE WHAT?

SHALL WE GO?

GO WHERE? GO EAT.

EXCUSE ME?

PERSON WHO BUYS THE BASKET
WINS THE COMPANY OF THE PERSON

WHO MAKES THE BASKET FOR LUNCH.

BASKET. BASKET MAKER.

GUY WHO DIDN'T
BRING ENOUGH MONEY.

YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY?

IT'S NO LENNY BRUCE ROUTINE,
BUT IT HAS ITS MOMENTS.

BYE, JESS.

WHERE YOU GOING?

YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S GOING.
AS SOON AS RORY'S READY.

SHE'S NOT GOING WITH YOU.

REALLY? IS THAT
TRUE? YES, IT'S TRUE.

EXCUSE ME, EDGAR BERGEN, I'D
LIKE CHARLIE MCCARTHY TO ANSWER.

SHUT UP. DEAN.

WHAT?

WELL...

OH, COME ON.

IT'S TRADITION.

I DON'T BELIEVE THIS.

IT'S TRUE. MY MOTHER AND I
HAVE BEEN DOING THIS EVERY YEAR.

SO BUCK TRADITION.

ARE YOU KIDDING? DO YOU
REMEMBER HOW MAD TAYLOR WAS

WHEN I COULDN'T GO TO THE
TURKEY-CALLING CONTEST?

THIS ISN'T SCHOOL. YOU'RE
NOT GETTING GRADED.

JUST DON'T MAKE
THIS INTO A BIG THING.

DON'T GO.

OH, JEEZ, MAN, SHE'S
NOT SHIPPIN' OFF TO 'NAM.

YOU SO NEED TO SHUT UP NOW.

LOOK, DEAN, IT'S A
PICNIC. IT'S LUNCH.

WE'LL SIT, WE'LL EAT, IT'S OVER.

NO.

WHAT DO YOU THINK
IS GONNA HAPPEN?

YEAH, I THINK I'D LIKE
TO HEAR THIS ONE ALSO.

I DON'T WANT YOU TO GO.

DEAN...

FINE, FORGET IT. GO.

PLEASE DON'T WALK
AWAY LIKE THAT.

SORRY, I'D DO A SILLY WALK, BUT I'M NOT
FEELING VERY JOHN CLEESE RIGHT NOW.

DEAN, THIS ISN'T MY FAULT.

I DIDN'T ASK HIM TO DO THAT.
I DIDN'T TELL HIM TO DO THAT.

DEAN, YOU'RE MY BOYFRIEND.

I WOULD NEVER DO
ANYTHING TO HURT YOU.

YEAH? YOU'RE DOING IT RIGHT NOW.

GOING ONCE, GOING TWICE,

SOLD FOR $25!

CONGRATULATIONS. THANK YOU.

OH, LORD, WILL YOU LOOK AT THIS?

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
NOW THIS IS A BASKET.

LET'S START THE BIDDING ON
THIS DELICIOUS TREAT AT $10.

DO I HEAR $10?

$10.

$15.

I HAVE $15.

$20.

$20. I HAVE $20. IS
THAT MY FINAL OFFER?

ALL RIGHT, FINE. $25.

KIRK, YOU JUST OFFERED
$20. YOU UPPED YOUR OWN BID.

CAN WE STOP THE BIDDING
FOR JUST A SECOND?

SOOKIE, YOU KNOW THE RULES.

YES, BUT...

WE HAVE $25. DO I HEAR $30?

JACKSON.

$30, IF THERE'S PIE.

THERE ARE NO
CONTINGENCIES, ANDREW.

$35.

ANDREW? JACKSON?

I'M NOT GOING ANY HIGHER
WITHOUT THE PROMISE OF PIE.

I HAVE $35 GOING
ONCE, $35 GOING TWICE.

SOLD TO KIRK FOR $35.

YES. FINALLY.

YOU KNOW, IF IT HADN'T BEEN FOR
ME, I COULD HAVE HAD IT FOR $25.

HEY, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

I GAVE YOU ALL THE SIGNS.

THE POINTING, THE WAVING, THE
MOUTHING, "THAT'S MY BASKET."

DIDN'T YOU SEE THE MOUTHING?

YES, I SAW THE MOUTHING.

WELL, WHY DIDN'T YOU BID?

I DON'T KNOW. IT JUST
DIDN'T FEEL RIGHT.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

I MADE 4 KINDS OF PESTO
AND 3 DIFFERENT DESSERTS.

PLUS, THE ENTIRE BASKET IS AN EDIBLE
PRETZEL WITH A GOAT-CHEESE FILLING.

WELL, I HOPE KIRK ENJOYS IT.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

OH, COME ON, SOOKIE. WHAT?

I TOLD YOU THAT THE LEASE
WAS UP ON MY APARTMENT,

AND I ASKED YOU IF YOU THOUGHT
THAT I SHOULD RENEW THE LEASE,

AND YOU SAID YES.

DO YOU NOT LIKE THAT APARTMENT?

NO, I LOVE THAT
APARTMENT. IT'S PERFECT.

THE ULTIMATE BACHELOR PAD.

IT'S JUST BIG ENOUGH FOR ONE.

OH.

ONLY, HERE'S THE THING. YOU AND
I, WE'VE BEEN DATING FOR A WHILE,

AND I DON'T KNOW, I THOUGHT
THINGS WERE GOING PRETTY WELL.

THINGS ARE GOING REALLY WELL.

OK, SO I HAD THIS CRAZY THOUGHT

THAT SINCE THINGS
WERE GOING REALLY WELL

THAT MAYBE IT WAS TIME
TO TAKE A STEP FORWARD.

YOU WANTED TO MOVE IN TOGETHER?

I AT LEAST WANTED TO
CONSIDER MOVING IN TOGETHER.

OH, UH,

I HADN'T EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT IT.

YOU HADN'T?

WELL, NO.

OH, MY MISTAKE THEN. I THOUGHT
WE WERE ON THE SAME WAVELENGTH.

WE WEREN'T. NO PROBLEM.
ENJOY YOUR LUNCH.

JACKSON, I LIED.

I HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT IT. A LOT.

OUR BATHROOM'S
GONNA BE PINK. I'M SORRY.

WELL, WHY DIDN'T
YOU SAY SOMETHING?

I DIDN'T WANT TO RUIN ANYTHING.

WE'RE DOING SO WELL.

WE HAVE SO MUCH
FUN. IT'S ALL WORKING.

WHY WOULD LIVING
TOGETHER MESS ALL THAT UP?

I DON'T KNOW. WE'D SEE
EACH OTHER EVERY DAY.

WE SEE EACH OTHER EVERY DAY NOW.

AND YOU'D FIND OUT ALL
MY ANNOYING LITTLE QUIRKS.

HEY, I'VE GOT ANNOYING
QUIRKS, TOO, YOU KNOW.

I KNOW.

WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

YOU MIGHT GET SICK OF ME.

OR YOU MIGHT GET SICK OF ME.

NO, THAT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN.

WELL, IF THAT'S
NOT GONNA HAPPEN,

THEN WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

THE PROBLEM IS THAT KIRK IS
GONNA EAT MY GOAT-CHEESE BASKET.

NOT IF I HAVE ANYTHING
O SAY ABOUT IT.

$12. DO I HEAR ANY MORE?

CAN WE GET ANY HIGHER THAN $12?

HOW'S THAT FOR NOT
GETTIN' SICK OF YOU?

NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE
ME, I GOT A BASKET TO GET.

NEXT UP, WHAT?

THAT LOOKS LIKE A DOOSE'S
MARKET BASKET. NICE?

OH, THAT'S MINE.

I'D LIKE TO START THE
BIDDING AT $5. I BID $5.

OH, THAT WAS QUICK.

$10.

ALL THAT'S IN THERE IS 2
STALE POP-TARTS AND A SLIM JIM.

$15.

HE LOOKS FAMILIAR.

$20. SO DOES HE.

$25.

THIS IS GOING VERY WELL.

OH, NO.

$30.

THOSE ARE THE GUYS, AREN'T THEY?

EXCUSE ME?

THE GUYS WHO-WHOSE
PICTURES YOU SENT ME.

YOU BROUGHT THEM HERE.
YOU'RE SETTING ME UP.

WELL, DARLING, YOU CAN'T BE
TRUSTED TO DO IT YOURSELF.

OH, JEEZ. OH, JEEZ.

$35.

THAT ONE'S A SNORKELER.

$35, NOW WE'RE BACK
ON TRACK. KEEP IT UP.

LUKE. WHERE IS HE? WHERE
IS HE? I NEED HIM, CAESAR.

THANK GOD! HEY, HEY,
YOU GOTTA COME WITH ME.

WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'?
I GOT PLATES HERE.

PUT THE BURGERS DOWN.
CAESAR, YOU'RE IN CHARGE.

DO YOU HAVE MONEY? I NEED IT.

WHICH ONE OPENS
THIS THING? THAT ONE?

STOP MESSING WITH THAT.
YOU GOTTA COME WITH ME.

PATTY GAVE MY PICTURE OUT TO THESE
GUYS 'CAUSE SHE THINKS I NEED A MAN.

YOU NEED ONE WITH A COUCH
AND A KNOWLEDGE OF FREUD.

YOU HAVE TO COME OUT
AND BID ON MY BASKET.

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

YES.

I HAVE NEVER IN
MY LIFE TAKEN PART

IN ONE OF THESE
CRAZY GROUP FLIP-OUTS

AND I'M NOT ABOUT TO START NOW.

BUT, RIGHT NOW, OUT THERE...

JUST BUY YOUR OWN BASKET.

I CANNOT BUY MY
OWN BASKET. WHY NOT?

BECAUSE THAT IS PATHETIC.

AND CHASING ME AROUND MY DINER,

BEGGING ME TO BUY YOUR BASKET?

ALSO PATHETIC, BUT
THAT I CAN LIVE WITH,

WHERE THAT PATHETIC IS
TRULY PATHETIC-PATHETIC,

AND ONLY YOU CAN SAVE ME
FROM THE DOUBLE PATHETIC. PLEASE.

I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M DOIN' THIS.

HA, HA. HURRY UP.

HURRY UP.

$45.50.

$46.

$46.50.

$47.

GO ON.

$47, ARE YOU KIDDIN'? LUKE.

$47.50.

FOR WHAT? 2 STALE
POP-TARTS AND A SLIM JIM?

YOU'RE NOT GETTING THE WHOLE
SAVING ME THING, HERE, ARE YOU?

FINE. $48.

$48.50.

$49.

$49.50.

UH, $52.50.

WHAT? WE'RE JUST
SUPPOSED TO GO TO $50.

I HAVE A LIFE.

$52.50. GOING ONCE.

HEY, THAT'S MY JOB.

$52.50 GOING ONCE,
$52.50 GOING TWICE.

OH, PLEASE, GOD.

SOLD FOR $52.50.

YES!

SORRY, GUYS, DON'T FEEL BAD.

I'M TOTALLY INTO DUNGEONS
& DRAGONS. YOU'VE SKATED.

AND THAT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

CONCLUDES THE BASKET
BIDDING FOR TODAY.

VICTORS, COME CLAIM YOUR
PRIZES AND YOUR DATES.

LET THE LUNCHING BEGIN!

YOU ROCK. THANK YOU.

WELCOME. WHAT DO WE DO NOW?

I GUESS WE EAT. THIS?

YEAH.

I HAVE TO BUY AND EAT IT?

HEY, THE BASKET OF BOTULISM
DOES COME WITH MY COMPANY.

OH, YOU DON'T EAT WITH
YOUR MOUTH OPEN, DO YOU?

WOMEN DON'T EAT. WE LOOK AT
FOOD AND JUMP ON THE TREADMILL.

ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO.

YOU KNOW, THERE'S NOTHIN' THERE.

YES, I KNOW.

YOU GOIN' AFTER HIM?

NOT RIGHT NOW.

SO, THEN, SHALL WE?

FINE. COME ON.

YEAH, I THINK SO.

I CAN'T WAIT TO EAT.

OH, KIRK, I'VE BEEN
LOOKIN' ALL OVER FOR YOU.

ANY IDEA WHAT THIS IS?

UH, YEAH, IT'S A
PINEAPPLE-CRANBERRY CHUTNEY.

YUCK!

LISTEN, I'D LIKE TO TALK
TO YOU ABOUT THIS BASKET.

AS YOU KNOW, SOOKIE MADE IT, AND
SINCE SOOKIE AND I ARE SEEING EACH OTHER,

NATURALLY, SHE ASSUMED
THAT I WOULD BID ON IT.

WHERE ARE THE CARROT STICKS?

EVERY LUNCH HAS CARROT STICKS.

BUT, SEE, I WAS A LITTLE
UPSET ABOUT A FIGHT WE HAD,

AND SO I DIDN'T
BID ON THE BASKET.

I LOVE CARROT STICKS.

ESPECIALLY THE CRINKLE-CUT KIND.

HOWEVER, WE JUST MADE UP, AND
NOW I'D LIKE TO HAVE LUNCH WITH SOOKIE.

SO...

I NEED THE BASKET.

THIS IS MY BASKET.

YES, BUT I'D LIKE
YOU TO GIVE IT TO ME,

SO I CAN HAVE LUNCH WITH SOOKIE.

I BOUGHT THIS BASKET.

THE RULES ARE, WHOEVER BIDS
THE HIGHEST GETS THE BASKET.

YES, I UNDERSTAND
THE RULES, BUT...

I BID THE HIGHEST, I BOUGHT
THE BASKET, I GET THE BASKET.

OK, KIRK, I'LL PAY YOU FOR IT.

I'LL GIVE YOU $45.

THAT'S $10 MORE
THAN YOU PAID FOR IT.

NO.

OK. $50.

NO.

KIRK, THIS IS INSANE! I'LL
BUY YOU ANOTHER BASKET.

I DON'T NEED YOU TO
BUY ME ANOTHER BASKET.

I WON THIS ONE. YOU CAN'T
JUST COME BY AND TAKE IT AWAY.

JUST BECAUSE YOU
HAVE A GIRLFRIEND

AND SHE MADE THIS BASKET FOR YOU

DOESN'T GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO BULLY
THOSE OF US WHO DON'T HAVE GIRLFRIENDS

OR ANYBODY TO
MAKE THEM A BASKET.

I WASN'T TRYING TO BULLY YOU.

NOT THIS YEAR, NOT LAST YEAR,
NOT THE YEAR BEFORE THAT.

MY MOTHER DIDN'T
EVEN MAKE ONE FOR ME.

OH, THAT'S VERY SAD.

SHE MADE ONE FOR MY BROTHERS
AND SISTERS, BUT NOT ME.

THAT'S TERRIBLE, KIRK.

12 BROTHERS AND SISTERS.

THE ONLY ONE
WITHOUT A BASKET, ME.

OK, KIRK, WHAT'S IT GONNA TAKE?

$250.

KIRK, YOU'RE KIDDING ME!

12 BROTHERS AND SISTERS.

WILL YOU TAKE A CHECK?

WITH 2 FORMS OF I.D.

I SWEAR, YOU'D BETTER BE
AS PATHETIC AS YOU SOUND.

OH, TRUST ME.

WHAT TIME IS IT?

3:00.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

HENRY SHOULD HAVE CALLED BY NOW.

GIVE ME SOME CHANGE.

THERE.

OH, MY GOD! IT'S NOT WORKING.

GREAT. CAN I HAVE HIS LUNCH NOW?

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE
EATING ON THE GROUND.

SAYS WHO?

EVERY PICTURE YOU'VE EVER SEEN OF A
PICNIC SHOWS PEOPLE EATING ON THE GROUND.

YES, EVERY TIME I
HAVE SEEN A PICTURE

OF PEOPLE EATING ON
THE GROUND I'VE THOUGHT,

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU
DOIN' SITTIN' ON THE GROUND?"

SPRING FOR SOME BEACH
CHAIRS, YOU CHEAPSKATES.

HEY, LORELAI, DO YOU
HAVE YOUR CELL PHONE?

YEAH, IS EVERYTHING OK?

I JUST NEED TO MAKE A CALL.

HERE YOU GO. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK!

HEY, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

I AM GOING TO THE DINER, I AM
GOING TO GET US SOME EDIBLE FOOD,

AND I'M GONNA BRING IT
BACK HERE FOR US TO EAT.

THAT IS SO NOT
THE POINT OF TODAY.

I MADE THIS. I AM INSULTED.

I WILL NOW PROCEED TO POUT.

I'LL BRING BACK SOME BROWNIES.

OOH, THE POUTING
HAS LEFT THE BUILDING.

HELLO?

HELLO, HENRY?

LANE, I'VE BEEN
TRYING TO CALL YOU.

I KNOW. THE PAY PHONE IS BROKEN.

I THOUGHT THE NUMBER
WAS WRONG, SO I...

WHAT? YOU WHAT?

I CALLED YOUR HOUSE AND
YOUR MOTHER ANSWERED.

WHAT DID YOU SAY?

I ASKED FOR YOU, AND
THEN SHE ASKED WHY.

I SAID BECAUSE. SHE
SAID BECAUSE WHY?

AND I GOT NERVOUS
AND TRIED TO SELL HER

A SUBSCRIPTION TO THE
WALL STREET JOURNAL.

OH, WERE YOU SUCCESSFUL?

LANE.

SORRY. BUT SHE
DOESN'T KNOW, RIGHT?

I GUESS NOT.

OK, THEN WE'RE STILL GOOD.
CAN YOU MEET ME NOW?

I DON'T KNOW.

IT'S LATER THAN WE PLANNED,
BUT WE STILL HAVE A LITTLE TIME

AND I SAVED YOUR
LUNCH FROM DAVID.

DAVID? MY COUSIN. THE DECOY.

OH, RIGHT.

WE'LL RENDEZVOUS
WHERE I TOLD YOU.

DRIVE BY, HONK TWICE,
GO AROUND THE BLOCK.

THE 2ND TIME YOU
PASS, I'LL JUMP IN.

DO YOU WANT ME TO SLOW DOWN?

WELL, YEAH, OF COURSE. I
MEAN, NOT TO A TOTAL STOP, BUT...

LANE, I DON'T THINK
THIS IS GONNA WORK.

WHAT?

THIS. YOU, ME.

ARE YOU BREAKING UP WITH ME?

HOW CAN I? I'VE NEVER
BEEN OUT WITH YOU.

YEAH, BUT THAT'S WHAT TODAY
WAS SUPPOSED TO BE. A DATE.

A DATE WHERE WE NEED A
SECRET PLAN AND A 2-HONK DRIVE-BY

AND A DECOY COUSIN?

WELL, YEAH.

LANE, I LIKE YOU, BUT I WANT
TO BE ABLE TO PICK YOU UP,

STOP THE CAR, AND TAKE YOU OUT.

AND I WANT TO BE
ABLE TO CALL YOU.

AT YOUR HOUSE.

I'M GONNA TELL MY
MOTHER. I PROMISE.

WHEN?

SOON.

YEAH. LOOK, I'VE
GOT PROM COMING UP

AND MY FRIENDS AND I ARE GONNA
RENT A LIMO TO TAKE US THERE,

AND I WANT TO GO, AND
I WANT TO TAKE A DATE.

WELL, I'M SURE I CAN
FIGURE SOMETHING OUT.

MAYBE RORY CAN...

I ASKED SOMEBODY ELSE.

OH.

I'M SORRY, I JUST FIGURED
YOU'D NEVER BE ABLE TO GO AND...

NO, IT'S OK. THAT'S GOOD. YOU
SHOULD'VE ASKED SOMEONE ELSE.

I DO LIKE YOU, LANE.

OK, WELL, THANK YOU.
I APPRECIATE THAT.

I HAVE TO GO.

LANE.

DAVID CAME BY
HERE 15 MINUTES AGO!

SAID YOU RAN OFF SOMEWHERE.

WHERE DID YOU RUN? NOWHERE.

WHO IS HE? THE BOY
YOU RAN OFF TO SEE?

THE ONE WHO CALLS
HERE PRETENDING

TO WORK FOR THE
WALL STREET JOURNAL.

THERE'S NO BOY!

YOU KNOW THE RULES. NO BOYS!

NOT UNLESS I
APPROVE, AND I DON'T!

HOW DO YOU KNOW?

I KNOW! I KNOW!

YOU'RE SNEAKING, YOU'RE LYING.

SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH THIS BOY.

THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THIS
BOY! HE'S PERFECT AND HE LIKES ME,

AND I WAS SO AFRAID
TO TELL YOU ABOUT HIM

THAT HE'S TAKING SOMEBODY
ELSE TO THE PROM! AND I BLEW IT.

YOU GO UPSTAIRS RIGHT
NOW AND CALM DOWN!

FINE! NOW!

FINE!

THAT IS NOT CALMING DOWN!

SO, WHERE DO YOU WANT TO EAT?

DON'T CARE.

OK.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T CARE.

I'M NOT JUMPING IN THE LAKE.

NO UNDERWATER DINING. GOT IT.

NOW WHAT?

NOW WE SIT.

HERE? YEP.

ON THE BRIDGE? THAT'S
WHERE WE'RE GOING TO EAT?

YEP.

OK.

I LIKE THIS PLACE.

WOW, A PLACE IN STARS
HOLLOW YOU ACTUALLY LIKE.

I'M STUNNED.

IT'S GOT SOME GOOD MEMORIES.

SEE RIGHT OVER THERE?

YEP.

THAT'S WHERE LUKE PUSHED ME IN.

THAT'S NICE. IT IS.

SO WHY'D YOU DO IT? DO WHAT?

OUTBID DEAN LIKE THAT.

I DON'T KNOW.

I GUESS IT STARTED AS A JOKE JUST TO
BUG HIM, BUT THEN HE JUST GOT SO MAD,

YOU KNOW, AND HE'S SO TALL,

AND I JUST WAS LOOKING AT
HIM AND HE'S STANDING THERE

ALL TALL AND MAD, AND
I JUST... I DON'T KNOW,

IT WAS REALLY FUNNY.

IT WASN'T FUNNY.

WELL, IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL ANY
BETTER, I DIDN'T INTEND TO DO IT.

DOES THAT MAKE
YOU FEEL ANY BETTER?

I JUST DON'T WANT TO
BE IN A FIGHT WITH DEAN.

I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT.

YOU WANT TO PUSH ME IN THE LAKE?

IT'S CATHARTIC, I HEAR.

MAYBE IN A LITTLE BIT.

WHENEVER.

SO WHEN DO WE OPEN THIS THING?

GO AHEAD.

WOW, NOT ONE THING IN HERE THAT I
WOULD REMOTELY CONSIDER EATING.

WELL, I DIDN'T MAKE IT FOR
YOU. I MADE IT FOR DEAN.

AND DEAN WOULD HAVE EATEN THIS?

YES, HE WOULD HAVE.

AHEM.

DEAN IS AN IDIOT.

DEAN NEVER WOULD
HAVE FALLEN FOR THAT.

I CAN'T BELIEVE HE
WOULDN'T TAKE YOUR CHECK.

WELL, APPARENTLY, I
DON'T LOOK LIKE MY PICTURE.

HE'S A LOON.

YEAH. IT'S OK.

I'M PAYING HIM OFF IN WEEKLY
INSTALLMENTS IN CRINKLE-CUT CARROT STICKS.

I'M GLAD WE MADE UP.

YEAH, ME, TOO.

AND, YOU KNOW, IF YOU STILL
WANTED TO TALK ABOUT, YOU KNOW,

WHAT WE WERE TALKING ABOUT,
WE COULD TALK ABOUT IT NOW.

HMM, NO.

EXCUSE ME?

I DON'T KNOW. I'M HAVING
SECOND THOUGHTS.

YOU ARE?

YEAH, I MEAN, LIVING
TOGETHER, BIG DEAL, RIGHT?

OH, RIGHT. BIG DEAL. WHO CARES?

NOT ME. NO SIRREE BOB.

SO, I'M SORRY, YOU DON'T THINK

WE SHOULD LIVE TOGETHER ANYMORE?

NOPE.

OK.

I THINK WE SHOULD GET MARRIED.

WHAT?

I THINK WE SHOULD GET MARRIED.

BUT, UH, BUT...

SOON.

ARE YOU PREGNANT?

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

SOOKIE?

YES!

I SAY YES! OH, MY GOD,
WE'RE GETTING MARRIED!

YOU DO KNOW THAT THIS MEANS
WE'LL HAVE TO LIVE TOGETHER, RIGHT?

YES, I DO.

OK, GOOD.

YOU KNOW YOUR BURGERS
ACTUALLY TASTE BETTER OUTSIDE?

GOOD, THE NEXT TIME THE
ROOF IN THE DINER'S LEAKING,

I'LL JUST RIP THE
STUPID THING OFF.

THIS IS NICE, HUH?
COME ON. ADMIT IT.

NEVER. WHAT?

ADMIT IT. YOU'D MUCH RATHER BE
SITTING OUT HERE THAN INSIDE WORKING.

DINER'S PROBABLY ON FIRE BY NOW.

YOU ARE STUBBORN.

I'M STUBBORN?

YEAH, YOU'RE STUBBORN.

FROM MISS FLEXIBILITY OVER HERE?

HEY, I CAN BE FLEXIBLE.

PLEASE. I CAN.

AS LONG AS EVERYTHING IS EXACTLY
THE WAY I WANT IT, I'M TOTALLY FLEXIBLE.

OH, WELL, MY MISTAKE.

DO YOU WANT A FRY?

YOU WANT A CARROT? IMPOSSIBLE.

RIGHT BACK AT YOU.

SO LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHIN'.

NAPKIN, PLEASE.

WHO DID YOU WANT
TO GET YOUR BASKET?

WHAT?

I MEAN, BEFORE YOU KNEW PATTY
PUT YOU ON THE DATING GAME,

YOU DID PACK THIS DISGUSTING
LUNCH AND BRING IT OUT HERE.

SO WHO DID YOU WANT TO GET IT?

WELL, LAST YEAR,
ROY WILKINS BOUGHT IT,

AND I GOT MY SPRINKLERS
FIXED FOR HALF PRICE.

AND THIS YEAR MY RAIN GUTTERS
ARE COMPLETELY CLOGGED,

AND I THOUGHT IF I COULD
GET THE COLLINS KID TO BITE,

I'D GET THAT TAKEN CARE OF.

VERY PRACTICAL.

I THOUGHT SO.

SO THE PARTICIPATION
IN THIS THING

WAS FOR HOME
IMPROVEMENT REASONS?

YES.

AND I DON'T KNOW,
IT'S A NICE CONCEPT.

WHAT IS?

JUST HAVING SOMEONE
WHO YOU LOVE,

OR HAVE SOME KIND
OF CRAZY CRUSH ON,

BID ON YOUR BASKET AND
THEN SHARE A ROMANTIC LUNCH.

IT'S A NICE CONCEPT.

WELL, I'M SURE
SOMEDAY YOU'LL MANAGE

TO FIND THE RIGHT GUY AND
DRAG HIM OUT TO THIS THING

AND MAKE HIM BUY
YOUR STUPID BASKET,

THEN YOU'LL BE SITTIN'
OUT HERE WITH HIM.

YEAH. SOMEDAY.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

WHAT?

THIS IS NICE.

TSK.

I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU.

OH, YEAH, OK.

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

I'LL BE RIGHT HERE.

HEY, HOW ARE YOU DOIN'?

UH, I'M NOT GREAT.

OH, DEAN, IT'S JUST
A SILLY TOWN THING.

I KNOW. I'VE BEEN
TELLIN' MYSELF THAT,

AND I TRIED TO GO HOME AND
FORGET ABOUT IT, BUT I CAN'T.

I'M WORRIED ABOUT RORY.

SHE SHOULDN'T BE
HANGING OUT WITH THIS GUY.

TODAY WAS KIND OF...

IT'S GOT NOTHIN'
TO DO WITH TODAY.

YES, IT HAS A LITTLE TO DO WITH
TODAY, BUT IT'S MORE THAN THAT.

EVER SINCE I MET HIM, I HAD
THIS FEELING HE WAS BAD NEWS.

YES, JESS HAS A FEW ISSUES.

YEAH, ONE ISSUE IS THAT
HE'S A COMPLETE JERK.

I MEAN, HE'S ALWAYS
GETTIN' IN FIGHTS AT SCHOOL

THAT IS, WHEN HE BOTHERS TO
SHOW UP AT ALL, AND HE JUST...

I DON'T KNOW. NOW
THIS THING WITH RORY.

IT'S LIKE HE'S ALWAYS AROUND.

YOU SOUND JEALOUS.

I-I'M NOT JEALOUS. HE JUST...

SHE HAS TO BE NICE TO
EVERYONE, YOU KNOW?

I KNOW, BUT, HON, THAT'S RORY.

WELL, HE'S GONNA
GET HER INTO TROUBLE.

I... I CAN FEEL IT.
I JUST KNOW IT.

HE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT HER.

HE'S JUST USIN' HER
TO DRIVE ME CRAZY.

DEAN, YOU LOVE RORY, RIGHT?

YEAH.

SO PART OF LOVE IS TRUST.

YOU JUST HAVE TO TRUST HER.

I DO TRUST HER. IT'S...

HIM. I KNOW.

BUT FLYIN' OFF THE HANDLE IS NOT
GONNA GET YOU WHAT YOU WANT.

SHE CARES ABOUT YOU, SHE'S NOT
GOING TO DO ANYTHING TO MESS THINGS UP.

I KNOW THIS.

I HOPE YOU'RE RIGHT.

10.

10?

YEAH, BUT I DIDN'T
UNDERSTAND A WORD OF IT.

SO I HAD TO REREAD
IT WHEN I WAS 15.

I'VE YET TO MAKE IT THROUGH IT.

REALLY? TRY IT. THE
FOUNTAINHEAD IS CLASSIC.

YEAH, BUT AYN RAND
IS A POLITICAL NUT.

YEAH, BUT NOBODY COULD WRITE A
40-PAGE MONOLOGUE THE WAY SHE COULD.

OK, TOMORROW I WILL
TRY AGAIN, AND YOU WILL...

GIVE THE PAINFUL
ERNEST HEMINGWAY

ANOTHER CHANCE. YES, I PROMISE.

YOU KNOW, ERNEST ONLY HAS
LOVELY THINGS TO SAY ABOUT YOU.

WHY ARE YOU ONLY NICE TO ME?

EXCUSE ME?

AN HOUR AGO YOU WERE TOTALLY SCREWING
WITH DEAN, AND NOW YOU'RE NICE TO ME.

YOU SEE, IT'S THE
SCREWING WITH DEAN

THAT'S AN IMPORTANT
STEP TO GETTING HERE,

SO THAT I COULD BE NICE TO YOU.

SO IT WAS A PLAN?

WHAT?

THE WHOLE BIDDING ON MY BASKET.

IT WAS A PLAN.

OK, I'M OFFICIALLY STARVING.

AND OFFICIALLY EVASIVE.

COME ON. I'LL GET YOU A PIZZA.

ANSWER MY QUESTION.

DO YOU LIKE PEPPERONI?

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO, ARE YOU?

WE CAN JUST GET IT
ON HALF IF YOU WANT.

OK. I GIVE. LET'S GO.

IF YOU INSIST.

MOM.

OH, HEY. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

I THOUGHT TAYLOR AUCTIONED
YOU OFF TO THE HIGHEST BIDDER.

NO, I JUST WENT
TO GET SOME PIZZA,

AND I WANDERED AROUND THE
BOOKSTORE FOR A LITTLE WHILE.

HERE.

WHAT'S THIS?

YOU WANTED TO READ
THE CHILDREN'S HOUR.

I DID? WHEN?

WHEN WE WERE WATCHING JULIA,
AND JANE FONDA WAS LILLIAN HELLMAN.

OH, YEAH, AND I MADE THE
HELLMANN'S MAYONNAISE JOKE.

WHICH NO ONE EVER
NEEDS TO HEAR AGAIN.

RIGHT. WELL, THANKS.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

SO WHO WHERE YOU WITH?

WHAT?

PIZZA, BOOK-BUYING.
DID YOU HAVE COMPANY?

OH, YEAH.

WHO?

UM, JESS.

JESS?

YEAH.

RIGHT.

SO I'LL BE IN MY ROOM.

OK. GOOD.

SO HOW WAS THE PICNIC?

FINE.

GOOD. DID YOU GET THE
DEAN ISSUE RESOLVED?

NOT YET. HE'S COMING OVER
LATER AND WE'RE GONNA

SMOOTH THINGS OVER, HOPEFULLY.

OH, YEAH, WELL,
SMOOTHING'S GOOD.

I LOVE THE SMOOTHING.

SO HOW IS IT WITH JESS?

FINE.

WELL, OBVIOUSLY. WITH THE
PIZZA AND THE BOOKS AND...

SO GOOD. THAT'S... I'M GLAD.

WHAT? WHAT WHAT?

YOU LOOK LIKE YOU
HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY.

I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY. I
NEVER HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY.

YES, THAT IS YOUR REPUTATION.

IT'S... I DON'T KNOW.

UM, I'M JUST SURPRISED THAT YOU'RE
HANGING OUT WITH HIM, THAT'S ALL.

WHY?

HE JUST DOESN'T SEEM
LIKE THE NICEST KID.

WELL, YOU DON'T KNOW HIM.

NO, I GUESS NOT.

YOU'RE JUDGING HIM BY
THAT ONE TIME HE CAME HERE.

WHICH, BY THE WAY, WAS
NOT A ROUSING SUCCESS.

HE HAD JUST MOVED HERE.
HE WAS MAD AT HIS MOM.

TRUST ME, HE'S GOT A REALLY
GOOD SIDE TO HIM. YOU'LL SEE IT.

GOOD, I CAN'T WAIT.

MOM.

I'M SORRY, I JUST...

UH, I DON'T KNOW, FROM THE THINGS
I'VE SEEN, AND THE THINGS I HEAR...

LIKE WHAT THINGS?

THE VANDALISM. THE STEALING.

THE CUTTING
SCHOOL. THE FIGHTING.

HOW DO YOU KNOW
ABOUT THE FIGHTING?

WELL, DEAN TOLD ME.

DEAN? YES.

YOU'VE BEEN DISCUSSING
THIS WITH DEAN?

NO, HE DISCUSSED IT WITH ME.

WHEN?

TODAY. RORY, HE'S
REALLY UPSET ABOUT THIS.

SO HE WENT RUNNING TO MY MOTHER?

HE NEEDED SOMEONE TO TALK.

HE COULD'VE TALKED TO ME.

NO, HE COULDN'T.
YOU WERE WITH JESS.

YOU'RE TAKING HIS SIDE?

I'M NOT TAKING SIDES
HERE, OK? I'M SWISS, BABE.

I WASN'T OFF WITH
JESS. JESS OUTBID HIM.

I KNOW.

WELL, THE RULE IS THAT IF ONE
PERSON OUTBIDS SOMEONE ELSE, THEN...

RORY, THIS IS NOT ABOUT THE
RULE. I KNOW WHAT THE RULE IS.

THIS IS ABOUT DEAN
BEING CONCERNED

THAT YOU'RE HANGING OUT WITH
SOMEONE WHO COULD GET YOU HURT.

HOW COULD HE?

IN THE SHORT TIME
HE'S BEEN HERE,

HE'S MANAGED TO
MAKE A LOT OF ENEMIES.

WHEN DID I MOVE TO SALEM?

PEOPLE ARE CONCERNED ABOUT YOU.

YOU'RE YOUNG AND
NAIVE AND YOU THINK

THAT EVERYONE HAS
SOME GOOD INSIDE

IF YOU GIVE THEM A CHANCE.

SO YOU'RE SAYING
THAT JESS IS NO GOOD.

I'VE KNOWN GUYS LIKE
JESS. HE SEEMS COOL

BECAUSE HE'S GOT
THIS DANGEROUS VIBE

AND... AND THIS
PROBLEM WITH AUTHORITY,

AND HE'S SEEN A LOT OF
SYLVESTER STALLONE MOVIES.

OH, MY GOD.

BUT GUYS LIKE THIS
GET INTO TROUBLE.

WHICH, IF YOU HANG OUT WITH HIM,

GETS YOU INTO TROUBLE.
I DON'T WANT THAT.

I'M SORRY, ARE... ARE WE TALKING ABOUT
DEAN STILL, OR ARE WE TALKING ABOUT YOU?

HEY, I'VE BEEN THERE,
OK? YOU HAVEN'T.

BEEN WHERE?

WE GOT PIZZA. WE
LOOKED AT SOME BOOKS.

GOD, I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE
I'M HAVING THIS CONVERSATION.

WITH YOU, OF ALL PEOPLE.

I DON'T EVEN WANT TO
TALK ABOUT THIS ANYMORE.

RORY!

NO, I'M GOING FOR A WALK.

OH, DEAN IS GONNA
BE HERE ANY MINUTE.

WELL, HE PROBABLY WANTS
TO TALK TO YOU ANYHOW.

A CIGAR CLUB?

CAN YOU IMAGINE A MORE
DISGUSTING ORGANIZATION TO JOIN?

YOUR GRANDFATHER NOW PAYS MONEY

TO SIT IN AN ENCLOSED
ROOM WITH A BUNCH OF MEN

AND BLOW SMOKE IN
EACH OTHER'S FACES.

TWICE A WEEK HE COMES HOME
SMELLING LIKE A FLOPHOUSE.

♪

SO I FINALLY JUST
CONFRONTED HIM.

I SAID, "RICHARD, I
KNOW YOU'RE GOING

"THROUGH A
TRANSITIONAL PERIOD HERE

"AND I ENCOURAGE YOUR
TRYING OUT NEW THINGS,

BUT THIS SEEMS COMPLETELY
OUT OF CHARACTER FOR YOU."

I'M SORRY, AM I BORING YOU?

NO, YOU'RE NOT.

SORRY, GRANDMA.

SO HOW ARE THINGS AT THE INN?

FINE. THE SAME.

AND, RORY, HOW'S THAT
BOYFRIEND OF YOURS?

APPARENTLY VERY CHATTY.

OH, THAT'S NICE.

LORELAI, ANYTHING NEW WITH YOU?

NO, NOTHING. IT'S BEEN PRETTY
QUIET AROUND THE HOUSE LATELY.

WELL, SOMETIMES
QUIET COULD BE NICE.

HMM.

SOOTHING.

YOU CAN HEAR YOURSELF THINK.

ALL RIGHT, WHAT'S
GOING ON WITH YOU TWO?

NOTHING.

IT'S NOT NOTHING.

YOU'VE BOTH BEEN SITTING
HERE, NOT SAYING A WORD,

AND NOT EVEN LOOKING AT
EACH OTHER. ARE YOU IN A FIGHT?

I'M NOT. PLEASE.

PLEASE WHAT? YOU'RE THE ONE
WHO'S BEEN FREEZING ME OUT ALL WEEK.

I JUST HAVEN'T HAD
ANYTHING TO SAY.

WHO IS IT?

NO ONE. WHY WON'T
YOU TELL ME WHO?

'CAUSE IT'S NO ONE.

IS IT JESS? YOU'RE
KIDDING, RIGHT?

JESS? WHO'S JESS?

I'M NOT KIDDING.

WHY WOULD YOU AUTOMATICALLY
ASSUME THAT IT'S JESS?

WHY WON'T YOU TELL ME WHO IT IS?

WHO'S JESS? LUKE'S NEPHEW.

IT'S NOT JESS. OK? IT'S DEAN.

YOU WANT TO READ
IT? OH, WAIT, NO,

DEAN WILL PROBABLY TELL
YOU ALL ABOUT IT LATER.

THAT'S NOT FUNNY.
ALL WEEK YOU'VE BEEN...

WE'RE NOT GONNA GET INTO THIS.

GETTING INTO WHAT?
IS IT ABOUT THIS JESS,

THE THING YOU'RE
NOT GETTING INTO?

YOU NEVER LIKED
DEAN AT THE BEGINNING.

THAT'S BECAUSE I
DIDN'T KNOW HIM.

AND NOW YOU DON'T LIKE JESS?

THAT'S BECAUSE I KNOW HIM.

ARE YOU DATING JESS?
WHAT HAPPENED TO DEAN?

I'M NOT DATING JESS.

BUT HE'S TRYING TO
WEASEL HIS WAY IN.

HE'S NOT TRYING
TO WEASEL HIS WAY.

IN WHERE? IN RORY'S WORLD.

HE HAS HIS EYE ON
HER, AND HE'S TROUBLE.

HE'S NOT TROUBLE.

YES, HE IS.

RORY, IF YOUR MOTHER THINKS
THIS BOY ISN'T APPROPRIATE COMPANY,

THEN YOU NEED TO LISTEN TO HER.

THERE. THANK YOU, MOM.

EXCUSE ME, BUT I DON'T
FEEL VERY HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.

KIM'S ANTIQUES. WE'RE
CLOSED. CALL TOMORROW.

MRS. KIM, IT'S RORY.

IT'S AFTER 9:00. I KNOW.

LANE CAN'T TALK AFTER 9:00.

MRS. KIM, I PROMISE I WILL
NEVER AGAIN CALL LANE AFTER 9:00,

BUT CAN I PLEASE JUST TALK
TO HER NOW? JUST THIS ONCE?

OK. JUST THIS ONCE.

THANK YOU.

LANE?

WHAT?

PHONE.

BUT IT'S AFTER 9:00.

IT'S OK, IT'S RORY.

I DON'T WANT TO TALK RIGHT NOW.

RORY, LANE'S NOT FEELING WELL.

SHE NEEDS TO CALL YOU TOMORROW.

OH, OK, UM, THANKS ANYHOW.

YES. GOODBYE.

LANE.

IT'S EARLY FOR YOU TO BE IN BED.

I'M TIRED.

COME DOWNSTAIRS
AND HAVE SOME TEA.

NO, THANK YOU.

I KNOW YOU'RE UPSET, BUT I
HAVE THESE RULES FOR A REASON.

I'M YOUR MOTHER. I KNOW
WHAT'S BEST FOR YOU.

CAN WE TALK ABOUT
THIS TOMORROW, PLEASE?

YOU SEE, THIS IS EXACTLY
WHY I MAKE THESE RULES.

YOU'RE TOO YOUNG,
TOO VULNERABLE.

AMERICAN BOYS HAVE
DIFFERENT VALUES.

THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND RESPECT.

YOU GET HURT. I DO ALL OF THIS

SO YOU DON'T GET HURT,
AND NOW YOU ARE HURT.

I DON'T LIKE THIS. I
DON'T LIKE THIS AT ALL.

WHO IS HE? THIS
BOY WHO HURT YOU?

HENRY CHO.

CHO? YES.

CHO SOUNDS KOREAN. IT IS KOREAN.

HE WAS KOREAN?

YES, AND HE WAS SMART
AND WONDERFUL AND CUTE...

AND... AND YOU'RE
SURE HE WAS KOREAN?

HE'S GONNA BE A DOCTOR.
HE GOES TO CHURCH.

HE'S A COUNSELOR AT BIBLE CAMP.

AND HE LIKED ME.

A DOCTOR!

I'M SO STUPID.

I SHOULD HAVE JUST
TOLD YOU AND I DIDN'T.

NOW HE'S GONE,
AND I'M JUST STUPID.

MAYBE I CAN CALL HIS MOTHER.

I DON'T WANT TO TALK
ABOUT THIS ANYMORE.

YOU'RE SURE HE WAS KOREAN?

I SWEAR, MOM, THERE'S JUST
SOMETHING ABOUT THAT KID THAT...

I DON'T KNOW, I HATE IT

BECAUSE HE'S LUKE'S NEPHEW,
AND RORY LIKES HIM, BUT...

YOU ARE HER MOTHER, LORELAI.

YOU MUST SET BOUNDARIES
AND RESTRICTIONS. IT'S YOUR JOB.

I WANTED TO LIKE HIM, BUT I JUST
COULDN'T, AND RORY CAN'T SEE IT.

WELL, SHE'S YOUNG.

SHE WON'T TAKE MY WORD FOR IT.

WELL, SHE'S YOUNG.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
MAYBE I'M OVERREACTING.

LORELEI, LISTEN TO ME. NOW, I
DON'T SAY THIS TO YOU VERY OFTEN,

BUT ON THIS MATTER, I HAPPEN
TO AGREE WITH YOU 100 PERCENT.

GEE. THANKS, MOM.

I KNOW RORY'S A GOOD GIRL,

BUT GOOD GIRLS CAN GO BAD
WITH THE WRONG INFLUENCES.

WE ALL KNOW THAT.

OH, NO, NO, I... I DON'T THINK
RORY'S ACTUALLY GONNA GO BAD.

DON'T BACK DOWN, LORELAI.

YOU TOOK A STAND, AND YOU ARE
COMPLETELY IN THE RIGHT HERE.

YOU ABSOLUTELY MUST
KEEP HER FROM THAT BOY.

I-IF YOU NEED TO
CHANGE HER CURFEW,

LOCK HER UP, THROW AWAY THE KEY,

WHATEVER IT TAKES TO MAKE SURE
SHE DOESN'T GO ASTRAY, YOU DO IT.

HER JUDGMENT CANNOT
BE TRUSTED HERE.

SHE'S A YOUNG GIRL
AND KNOWS NOTHING.

YOU ARE HER EYES AND HER EARS
AND HER BRAIN, FOR AS LONG AS IT TAKES

TO MAKE SURE SHE DOESN'T MAKE
ANY RIDICULOUS CHOICES IN HER LIFE.

YEAH.

WOULD YOU EXCUSE ME FOR A SEC?

HEY, CAN I COME IN?

IT'S NOT MY HOUSE.
I CAN'T STOP YOU.

JUST LISTEN TO ME
FOR ONE SECOND, OK?

NO SIGHING. JUST LET ME TALK.

GO AHEAD.

I DON'T WANT TO LOCK YOU
UP AND THROW AWAY THE KEY.

WELL, GOOD.

YOUR JUDGMENT MEANS
SOMETHING, ESPECIALLY TO ME.

I CAN'T BE YOUR EYES AND
YOUR EARS AND YOUR BRAIN.

I'M TRYING REALLY HARD
TO CONNECT THE DOTS HERE.

I GOT SPOOKED. I KNOW IT VIOLATES
THE FABULOUS "COOL-MOM" CLAUSE

WE'RE SUPPOSED TO HAVE
GOING. BUT I DID, AND I'M SORRY.

IT'S OK.

NOW, I AM CONCERNED ABOUT JESS.

YOU SHOULDN'T BE.

BUT I AM. HOWEVER,

YOU ARE A SMART GIRL, YOU'RE
A GOOD JUDGE OF CHARACTER,

AND THE FACT THAT
HE SEEMS TO LIKE YOU

GIVES HIM A COUPLE
OF BROWNIE POINTS.

YOU'RE NOT A LITTLE KID.

I DON'T ACTUALLY THINK
YOU EVER WERE A LITTLE KID.

I WAS, FOR ABOUT A MONTH.

IF YOU THINK HE'S A DECENT GUY,

I HAVE TO RESPECT YOUR JUDGMENT.

THANK YOU.

BUT I'M ASKING
YOU TO BE CAREFUL.

I WILL.

REALLY CAREFUL. I WILL.

BOY-IN-THE-PLASTIC-BUBBLE
KIND OF CAREFUL.

I PROMISE.

AND YOU HAVE TO
CUT DEAN SOME SLACK.

HE'S SO CRAZY ABOUT YOU.

HE DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING BY
COMING TO ME, HE JUST WIGGED.

I KNOW.

IS OUR FIGHT OVER?

FIGHT OVER.

GOOD.

OH.

YOU STILL DON'T LOOK OK.

OH, WELL, MY MOTHER
AGREED WITH ME TONIGHT.

I'M SO SORRY.

THANK YOU. I APPRECIATE THAT.

I NEED A SHOWER.

DON'T BE SO DRAMATIC.

"I AGREE WITH YOU
100 PERCENT." OH!

GO UPSTAIRS.

FIND A MOVIE. I'LL
BE DOWN IN A MINUTE.

OK.

"I AGREE WITH YOU 100 PERCENT."

I MAY HAVE TO
SHAVE MY HEAD ALSO!

BYE.

HELLO?

HI.

HI.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

NOTHING. YOU?

NOTHING.

WHY'D YOU CALL?

I, UH, I WANTED TO...

I'M GLAD YOU CALLED.

YEAH? YEAH.

WHY?

'CAUSE MAYBE YOU COULD EXPLAIN

WHAT THIS CRAZY
WOMAN IS TALKING ABOUT.

OH, THE FOUNTAINHEAD.

YES.

YOUR FAULT. AND YOU WILL PAY.

I PROMISE, COMMIT
TO IT ONE MORE TIME

AND IF IT STILL IS AWFUL FOR
YOU, I WILL MAKE IT UP TO YOU.

OH, YEAH?

YEAH.

OK. I'M GONNA HOLD YOU TO THAT.

♪ LA, LA, LA ♪