Gilligan's Island (1964–1992): Season 3, Episode 5 - Voodoo - full transcript

* just sit right back,
and you'll hear a tale *

* a tale of a fateful trip *

* that started
from this tropic port *

* aboard this tiny ship *

* the mate was
a mighty sailin' man *

* the skipper brave and sure *

* 5 passengers set sail that day
for a 3-hour tour *

* a 3-hour tour *

* the weather started
getting rough *

* the tiny ship was tossed *

* if not for the courage
of the fearless crew *



* the minnow would be lost,
the minnow would be lost *

* the ship's aground
on the shore of this *

* uncharted desert isle *

* with gilligan *

* the skipper, too *

* the millionaire and his wife *

* the movie star *

* the professor and Mary Ann *

* here on gilligan's isle *

Gilligan!

Gilligan!

Gilligan!

I'm in here!

Here...
Here...Here...



Where? Where? Where?

Gilligan, are you
in that cave again?

Gilligan, I thought
I told you to stay out
of this cave yesterday.

I did stay out
of this cave
yesterday.

Oh, brother.

Besides,
I had to come back.

I lost my lucky
rabbit's foot.

Boy, that
rabbit's foot's
always getting lost.

First by the rabbit,
and now by me.

Well, hurry up and find it
and let's get out of here.

Yeah, and skipper,

I found some more
of this junk.

Aah!

Gilligan, will you stop
digging for this stuff?

I told you that
it was probably buried

by some ancient tribe.

And they're probably
protected by a taboo.

Tab who?

Not tab who.

Taboo.

Like in voodoo.

This whole place
is probably

under the curse
of a witch doctor.

Come on, gilligan.
Let's get out of here.

This place is giving me
the creeps.

Oh! I can't stand up.

You can't stand up,
little buddy?
You really can't stand up?

You're standing
on my hand.

The voodoo
is beginning to work.

Come on, gilligan.
Let's go.

Ow! Hey!

What is it?

Somebody jabbed me
in the neck and...

It couldn't have been
you because you're
in front of me,

and there's nobody
behind me, so I...

Uh-oh.

Uh-oh is right.

That voodoo's
beginning to work.

Come on, gilligan,
let's get out of here.

Beautiful. Just beautiful.

Look at it, skipper.

No, I will
not look at it.

It's definitely
a classical example

of early Mayan
workmanship.

What else
did gilligan
find in that cave?

Well,
he found some jewelry

that he gave to ginger
and Mary Ann, but...

I'm all for putting
this stuff back there.

These artifacts
are priceless.

Just--just look
at the detail.

Well, take a look.

Oh, come on...

Please, professor!
I'm not gonna look at it.

It's got a curse on it!

It won't bite you.

Oh, it won't
bite me, huh?

Oh, please, professor,

it'll just chew me up
and spit me out all over
the rest of the island.

It's just a piece
of pottery.

Well, it may be
just a piece
of pottery to you,

but to me, it's
a "do not disturb" sign.

How can a grown man
be frightened

of a piece
of baked Clay?

Please, professor,

there's voodoo
all through these islands.

Why, they got
witch doctors out there

that can turn a man
into a zombie.

That is just
a sailor's superstition.

Have you ever seen
a zombie?

Well, not really.

Well, you see, it's
all imagination.

Imagination, huh?

Gilligan, tell him
what happened in the cave.

It felt like a sharp pin
was jabbed in my neck.

There, you see?
A pin in the neck.

If that isn't voodoo,
what is it?

It's simple.
Gilligan was digging,

and he probably
sprained a muscle.

Professor, gilligan
doesn't have any muscles
in his head.

Fat, maybe,
but no muscles.

Well, that's the way
they work it.

They make you feel
that everything's okay,

and then, pow!

Well, how can it
go pow when there's
nobody there?

Gilligan, they make a doll
that resembles the person.

Then they get
a personal object
from that person.

That's what puts
the hex on 'em.

My lucky rabbit's foot.
Maybe he's got my lucky
rabbit's foot!

Exactly! They stick
a pin in the doll,
and the victim feels it.

I'm hexed. I'm hexed.

Whoa, whoa!
What you gonna do?

I'm gonna get
the hex
out of here.

You got that poor fella
scared half to death.

Now, believe me,
there isn't a voodoo
witch doctor

within 1,000 miles
of here.

I feel like
I've been locked
all night

in a jewelry
store.

Imagine a man giving
a girl all of this

and asking nothing
in return.

That's our gilligan.

Isn't this beautiful?

How do I look?

Well, let me see.

Uh-oh.

Oh. Oww...

W-We're stuck.

Maybe if we stand up.

Well, don't
stand up, ginger.
You'll strangle me!

Well, I can't
keep staying like that.

Wait...wait...

Stand on your toes,
can't you?

I'll try.

Ohh...

Oh!
Oh!

Hold this.

I guess we're just gonna
be stuck this way forever.

Thurston,
the strangest thing
has happened.

I left my lipstick
on this table,

and it's disappeared.
Did you take it?

I? Do I look
like the kind of man

who would use lipstick?

You know, speaking
of missing articles,

my wallet is missing.

Oh, darling,
I was talking about
something important.

After all,
what's in a wallet?
Only money.

That's true, my dear,
that's so true.

Uh, whatever is that?

It looks like a hubcap.

Gilligan found it
in a cave and gave
it to me.

Obviously costume jewelry.

Well, obviously.

Anything real
would come
from fifth Avenue.

Uh--uh, come in!

Mrs. Howell, I understand
that gilligan--

oh, I see you're wearing it.

Oh, yes, it's
alright to wear
around the hut,

but of course,
not out in public.

That Jewel's
worth a fortune.

A fortune?

That's exactly
what I was telling lovey.

But, thurston, you--

no, I said it
was a perfect stone.
Invaluable, my dear.

Oh, how marvelous!

Then tell gilligan,
go dig up
something else.

I need
something to wear
on my beige suit.

Gilligan,
I've got to have

more
of those relics
for my museum.

I'm sorry, Mr. Howell.
I can't go back
into that cave.

It's haunted. It's got
a curse on it. Voodoo.

Voodoo? Don't
be ridiculous.

You can laugh at voodoo,

but to me, it's a pain
in the neck.

No, you've got to
go back in that cave
and dig for me.

Now, money
is no object.

I'll pay you
anything.

40 cents an hour.

No, thanks.

55 cents?

65 cents?

I don't care if you
give me $100 an hour.

Don't even say that
in jest.

It's more
than my poor heart
can stand.

Mr. Howell,

I'm afraid to go back
in that cave.

Now, what are you
afraid of?
Spooks.

Spooks? There are no
such thing as spooks.

Well, the cave
is loaded with them.

Big ones, small ones,
long arms--

really?
Yeah.

Wonder
what they'd charge
to work for me.

Hey, skipper,
why don't you take
your hat off?

Because I just
want a trim, gilligan,

and I don't trust you.

Hey,
you fellas seen
my pocket knife?

It seems to have
disappeared.

No, I haven't seen it.
Have you, skipper?

Nope.

Hey, maybe it fell into
the hole in your pocket.

I don't have a hole
in my pocket.

You lost that, too, huh?
Gilligan...

Perhaps I left it
in the supply hut.

You know, skipper,

everybody seems
to be losing something.

I lost my rabbit's foot,
Mary Ann lost her comb,

and the professor
lost his pen knife.

Hey, skipper,
you lost anything?

I'm about to lose
something.

My Patience!

Uh, gilligan,
about those relics--

uh-uh, Mr. Howell,
I'm not going back in
that spooky cave again.

How about you,
captain?

Interested in making
a little extra?

Not interested.

Say, uh, uh,
$10 an hour?

Nope.
15?

Forget it.

20?

It's a deal.

You mean you're
gonna take it?

No. You are.

Gilligan, you can forget
about the haircut.

Right now you've got a date
with a shovel in that cave.

But what about the voodoo?
You're forgetting the curse.

I'm not forgetting it,

but $20 can take the curse
off anything. Come on!

Come on, gilligan.

Skipper, can't we
talk this over?

There is nothing
to discuss.

Yeah, but I can think
of a lot of things.

Look, gilligan, will you
just get in there?

I'm afraid.

Gilligan, I made a deal
with Mr. Howell,

and I never
go back on my word.

Now, get in there.

Won't you come in there
just a little ways?

Alright, gilligan.
Come on.

Okay, we've seen it.
Now can we go back?

Let's go.

Girls, I intend
to prove to you

that you have
nothing to fear.

Oh, except voodoo
and hexes.

Well, I am surprised
at both of you.

2 modern, normal,
well-educated
American girls

afraid of
a silly superstition?

That's right.
That's us.

You can't let fear
rule your lives.

Oh, yes, we can!

Well, on the other hand,

a little fright
never hurt anyone.

Oh, do we have
to go in there?

Don't worry.
As long as I'm with you,

you have nothing
to be afraid of.

Just think, lovey,

in a few minutes,
we'll have enough
of those relics

to fill
the howell museum.

Thurston, aren't you
a wee bit nervous

about the voodoo
and curses and all
that sort of thing?

I'm a man
of supreme courage.

No spook would
dare tangle with
thurston howell III.

After you, my dear.

What marvelous work
these natives did,
thurston.

They really were
way ahead of their time.

Yes, but what are they?

Well, obviously
a pair of bookends.

Books weren't invented then.

Well, that's what I
said. They were way
ahead of their time.

Gilligan, what
have you found?

A hungry old man?

No, gilligan.
I think it's some
sort of an idol,

and it's made
out of solid gold!

Uh, don't forget,
this is my expedition.

Uh, we're just
shining it up,
Mr. Howell.

Gilligan,
would you mind
telling me,

what are you
doing?

I don't know, skipper.

Well,
cut it out!

I can't!

Gilligan, what
does this mean?

I don't know, skipper.
I felt like

I didn't have any
control of myself.

Well, how do you
explain that,
professor?

Well, it's really
quite simple

and based
on the power
of suggestion.

The seeds of fear were
planted in your minds,

and you all succumbed
to the notion

that voodoo
and witch doctors
really do exist.

Now, naturally,
having read books

and seen motion pictures
and television shows,

you all began to react
to what you had seen.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Now, an excellent book--

skipper, my feet
are getting hot.

Yeah.
So are mine.

Thurston, this is
most uncomfortable.

Not only that.
It hurts!

I'm getting out of here!

So am I.
Women and
children first!

Whoa!
Oh!

Ow! Ow!

Hey, skipper, look.
A hole burned

right through the bottom
of my sneaker.

I know. That ground
was hotter than
a kitchen stove.

I tell you, little
buddy, this whole
island is bewitched!

There's only one thing
we can do.

What's that?

Get off the island.

You're right,
gilligan.

We'll pack up,
we'll go
aboard ship,

and we'll sail
right to--

oh, come on,
wait a minute,
gilligan.

We're shipwrecked,
remember?

Yeah. I'll have to think
of something else.

There's nothing else
we can do, though.

The island's
under a spell.

Oh, nonsense,
skipper.

Superstitious
nonsense.

Oh, I suppose you have

a logical explanation
for this whole thing.

Well, as a matter
of fact, I have.

I would say
it was a geological
phenomenon

caused by volcanic
activity

beneath the earth's
surface

resulting in
the concentration
of heat

in a specific
location.

That makes sense to me.
There's only one thing
I don't understand.

And what's that?

How come the ground
got so hot underneath our feet?

Now, look, professor,
I don't know anything
about geology,

but I do know
something about voodoo,

and what's been
happening is voodoo
with a capital "v."

Yeah, and a capital "oo"
and a capital "doo."

Come on, professor,
think about it.

This island must be
full of evil influences.

You get 'em mad,

and there's no telling
what'll happen to you.

I do not believe
in evil spirits.

Now, I've told
you time after
time after ti--

talking to him
is like talking to a wall.

You notice
anything different
about the professor?

There's nothing different
about the professor.

He's just as stubborn
as he ever was.

I didn't know
he could sleep
standing up.

He's not sleeping.

Oh, yeah.
His eyes are open.

Professor?
Professor?

Maybe I should get
an alarm clock

or go "cock-a-doodle-do!"

He's not sleeping.

He's been turned
into a zombie.

Zombie?

Help.

Help, somebody!

Help! Help!

Help, Mrs. Howell!

Mrs. Howell, something
terrible's happened!

The professor's been
turned into a zombie!

Oh, how terrible.
A zombie.

Thurston!

Yes? Yes, my dear,
what is it?

What's a zombie?

What's a zombie?

Well, it's a--
rather, you see,

you take 5 jiggers
of rum

and then some...
Some cooling ice

and fruit juice...

Why do you ask?

Well, the professor's
just been turned into one.

Oh! Well,
let's go see.

Maybe we could do
something to help.

Yes. We could bring
a couple of
tall glasses.

Oh, the poor man.

There must be
some way to snap him
out of it.

Oh, it's awful.

Ginger, have you ever seen
a man stare like that?

Just once.
I was entertaining
a bunch of gis

at an army camp.

We just can't stand here.
We've got to do something.

Stand back,
Mary Ann.

Ohh...

If that doesn't
bring him back,
nothing will.

Gilligan,
I've got it--oof!

Sorry, skipper.

Look, gilligan,

I think I know
how we can help
the professor.

We'll make peace
with the evil spirits

who put the hex
on him.

Yeah? How?

Well, it all started

when we took
those relics out
of the cave, right?

So we collect them all,
put them back in,

and that ought to satisfy
whoever's putting
this curse on us.

Yeah. And once
they're satisfied,

they'll de-zombie
the professor.

De-zombie?

Unzombie.

Ex-zombie?
Well, never mind.

Now, look, I
want you to get over
to the girls' hut

and collect
all the stuff
that you gave them.

I'll go over to
the howells and
collect their stuff.

Yeah.
Alright, come on.
On your way.

Unzombie?

De-zombie?

Ex-zombie?

I wonder
which one it is.

Dis-zombie!

Dat zombie?

Will you get over
to the girls' hut?!

Alright,
gilligan, here.

You take the stuff...

Put it in there...

And I'll wait here.

Okay, skipper.

Wait a minute.
How come I have
to go in there?

What about you?

Alright, gilligan.

You go in,
and I'll wait here.

That's better.

Aah!

Gilligan, it's you.

Well, did you put
everything back?
Is everything alright?

I put everything back
right where it belonged.

Oh, wonderful! I really
feel better already.

Let's get out
of here, skipper.
It's really spooky.

Yeah. Ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha!

Did I say
something funny?

Ha ha ha ha ha!

What's the joke,
skipper?
Let me in on it.

I don't see
anything funny.

Ha--gilligan--ha ha!

Professor?

Professor.

Professor!

This is Mrs. Howell III
speaking.

Mrs. Thurston howell.

Lovey.

You remember. We were
shipwrecked together.

If you're a zombie,
nod once.

If you're not a zombie,
nod twice.

Oh, dear, professor,

if you won't cooperate,
how on earth are we
going to help you?

Thurston, he refuses
to recognize me.

Well, of course,
my dear. Don't you see?

He's a zombie.

Well, that's no excuse
for bad manners.

Yeah. Well,
come along to the cave.

Oh, don't go away.
I have a plan

that's guaranteed
to cure you.

But he won't talk
at all. Not a word.

You know, I wonder
if I could learn

how the witch doctors
do that.

Well, whatever for?

Well, don't you see?
Back home,

the howell factories,
my dear...

5,000 employees,

none of them able
to ask for a raise.

How heavenly!

Well, well.
Here we are.

Hmm.

But, darling,

however do you expect to
appease these evil spirits

when even the skipper
has failed?

My dear,
I have something
in this case

that will placate
even the most evil
of spirits.

Oh, what is that?

Cash.

Oh, darling,
how absolutely marvelous!

Yes, I am.

And besides,
my dear,
it's deductible.

Oh.

Coming, dear?

Come on, professor,
open up. Open your mouth.

It's yummy, yummy, yummy.

Come on, professor,
it's really good.
Come on, professor.

Gilligan,
what are you doing?

I'm trying
to snap the professor
out of his trance.

I've got
his favorite dish here,

Halibut in kumquat sauce.

Oh. No luck,
though, huh?

No. I guess being
a zombie kind of takes
your appetite away.

Oh, skipper...

Yes, ginger?

I--i just
thought of something
that might help.

You know,
I once made a movie
in the south pacific

called
belly dancers
from Bali Bali.

Well, that's fine,
ginger,

but how's that gonna help
the professor?

Well, in the movie,
the hero was turned
into a zombie,

and I cured him
by doing
a native dance.

Well, I don't think
the professor's

in the mood to dance,
but you can ask him.

Oh, I'm not going
to dance with him,
gilligan.

I'm going to dance
for him.

It's, um,
a special kind
of a native dance.

Well, we've tried
everything else.

I doubt that it's
gonna work, though,
ginger.

It might work, skipper.

I saw the movie 3 times,
and it worked every time.

Oh, help!
Gilligan, stop!

Is it working?

Did we break the spell?

Oh, I'm sorry.
I've made
a terrible mistake.

I was doing
the wrong dance.

It was from
a picture called

the rain dancers
of rango rango.

Oh...

Oh, the poor
professor.

Is he still
under the spell?

Yeah. Those
evil spirits must be
working overtime.

I'll tell you
one thing that's--

oh, Mary Ann...

Isn't that pin
one of the relics?

Yeah. I gave it to her.

Well, but, uh,
it should be going back

with the rest
of the stuff.

Oh. Well,
I didn't think

one teensy weensy
little pin would hurt.

Well, certainly
it matters, Mary Ann.

I mean, I've
got to take this back.

Now, gilligan,
hop over to the cave

and put that back
with the rest of them.

Me? Why always me?
Why can't we both go?

Because somebody's
got to stay here

and keep an eye
on the professor.

Oh, yeah.

Why can't I
keep an eye
on the professor?

Because you're
going to be busy

taking the pin back.

Oh, yeah.
You're right.

Sorry.

Hey, those are cute.

Yeah.

And there's
my rabbit's foot!

And the professor's knife.

And Mary Ann's comb, and--

gee...

Uh-oh.

If that's supposed
to be me,

I must say it isn't
a very good
likeness.

I look
absolutely ghastly.

Oh, remember, my dear,
we never had a sitting.

Whoever made
these dolls had us
in their power,

but now we've got
the dolls back

and our personal
possessions,

the spell is broken.

What about the professor?
He's still a zombie.

Oh, but not for long.

What are you gonna do?

Where's his knife?

Once he sees that
he's got his personal
possession back,

the spell
will be broken!
Oh.

Well, if it isn't,
I've got a place for him

in my organization.

Professor?

...ime after time
after time

that voodoo spells
and zombies

are figments
of the imagination.

Ha ha ha!

Well, there goes
another source
of cheap labor.

What is
everyone laughing about?

Well, believe it
or not, professor,

for the last 24 hours,
you've been a zombie.

Nonsense.

I just got through
telling you

that that is
nothing but native
superstition.

There is
no such thing
as witch doctors,

hexes, or curses.

By the way,
how did I get wet?

Gilligan, what
have you got there?

It's a witch doctor
doll I made.

You made?

Yeah. I figured
if he could do it
to us,

I can do it to him.

Don't be ridiculous,
gilligan.

For goodness sakes,
it takes those witch doctors

years of practice
to make their voodoo work.

You mean nothing'll
happen if I stick it
with the pin?

That's exactly right.
Nothing will happen.

Aah! Aah!

* they're here
for a long, long time *

* they'll have to make
the best of things *

* it's an uphill climb *

* the first mate
and his skipper, too *

* will do their very best *

* to make the others
comfortable *

* in the tropic island nest *

no phone...
No lights...

* no motorcars,
not a single luxury *

* like Robinson crusoe *

* it's primitive
as can be *

* so join us here
each week, my friends *

* you're sure to get a smile *

* from 7 stranded castaways *

* here on gilligan's isle *