Gilligan's Island (1964–1992): Season 3, Episode 27 - It's a Bird, It's a Plane - full transcript
U.S. Air Force Jetpack X-JP was lost at sea and found by Gilligan.
Now, watch this
next maneuver, general.
Well, sir?
Yeah. It seems like
quite a device,
colonel.
You're,
uh, convinced
that I should
authorize this
for official
air force use.
General, our tests
in the pacific
indicate that the xjp
will render all other
manually controlled
jet packs obsolete.
It's compact
and lightweight.
Practically anybody
can operate it,
and it has a range
of over 500 miles.
Frankly, sir, I think
it's a perfect machine.
[Knock on door]
Come in.
Begging the colonel's
pardon, sir.
Yes, lieutenant?
Just received
this message
from the test ship
in the pacific, sir.
Bad news, colonel?
It seems
our perfect machine
has become a victim
of human error, sir.
"Jet pack xjp
lost at sea.
Please advise."
Yeah, that is
bad news.
Yes, sir. We certainly
wouldn't want
the xjp to fall
into the wrong hands.
Lieutenant,
authorize a fleet
to begin a search
for the pack at once.
Yes, sir.
I wouldn't be
too concerned,
general.
The pack should
stay afloat
for several days,
and, well, I believe
our ships will find it.
Good. You know,
what I can't believe
is that man
has reached the age
where he can fly
like a bird.
You know, I haven't
seen one of these
since I was a boy
reading
the adventures
of buck Rogers.
Buck who?
Buck Rogers.
He was the guy
who used to fly around
in one of these things.
Oh, gilligan.
Why don't you--
hi. Any luck?
What's that?
I think it's
buck Rogers' rocket.
Let me see that.
If this were
Mr. Rogers' rocket,
his mother would
have sewn his name
on it somewhere.
Gilligan,
there is no such person
as buck Rogers.
He was a comic book
character.
Did you ever meet
buck Rogers?
Of course not.
Then how do you know
he wasn't a real person?
I'm gonna explain it
once more, and then i'm--
gilligan,
you're right.
I am?
You mean,
this does belong
to buck Rogers?
No, but it is
a jet-powered flight pack,
and it's practically
full of fuel.
Well, maybe we can
find some way
to use it
to get off the island.
I'll begin experiments
right away.
You know,
it's just possible
that there's enough fuel
in this jet pack
to get it all the way back
to Hawaii.
Oh, boy. Let's start
experimenting.
Come on, gilligan.
* just sit right back,
and you'll hear a tale *
* a tale of a fateful trip *
* that started
from this tropic port *
* aboard this tiny ship *
* the mate was
a mighty sailin' man *
* the skipper brave and sure *
* 5 passengers set sail that day
for a 3-hour tour *
* a 3-hour tour *
[thunder]
* the weather started
getting rough *
* the tiny ship was tossed *
* if not for the courage
of the fearless crew *
* the minnow would be lost,
the minnow would be lost *
* the ship's aground
on the shore of this *
* uncharted desert isle *
* with gilligan *
* the skipper, too *
* the millionaire and his wife *
* the movie star *
* the professor and Mary Ann *
* here on gilligan's isle *
Hey, professor?
Professor?
Oh, good heavens.
Look what
you've made me do.
Sorry, professor,
but we're dying
to find out
if this jet pack's
gonna be able
to fly to Hawaii.
Yeah.
Well, there's a chance,
skipper, but--
oh, did you
hear that,
gilligan?
One of us
might be able
to fly to Hawaii.
Isn't that
great news?
Yeah.
It's a long trip there.
I hope the jet pack
has a good movie.
Yeah, so do I,
because...
When you gentlemen leave,
I can complete
this fuel analysis.
Alright, professor.
We're going right now.
Come on, gilligan.
Professor, I just have
one more question--
professor.
Professor.
Oh, why did you girls
have to burst in
in the middle
of an experiment?
Oh, we're sorry,
professor,
but we heard
that gilligan
found some kind
of a jet pack
to get us
off the island.
Well, it's possible,
ginger,
but I won't know
till I complete
these tests.
Oh, you just
don't know
how desperately
I want to breathe
the heady wines
of civilization
again.
Oh, to meet a tall,
handsome man
and have a candlelit
dinner for 2,
and then
after dinner,
to dance.
Oh, just to float--
just float
through the air--
until dawn's
gentle fingers
pull back
the soft blanket
of night.
That's a scene
from a tender,
romantic movie I was in.
It was called,
the bird people meet
the chicken pluckers.
Alright. Would you girls
leave now
so I can continue
my work?
Oh, but--
but, professor--
alright, out!
Shoo!
I'll let you
know the results
the moment I'm finished.
Now, go!
Professor?
Oh, I'm terribly
sorry.
Oh, dear,
professor.
Did we cause you
to spill that?
Oh, not at all,
Mrs. Howell.
I've had so much
practice recently,
I could have spilled it
without your help.
Uh, how soon will you know
if the flight is feasible?
Well, if you'll both
be quiet,
I will know
in a minute.
Well, professor,
can one of us
fly off
for help now?
I'm afraid not,
Mrs. Howell,
although
my experiments
indicate
the jet pack has
sufficient flight range
to reach Hawaii,
I'm afraid such a flight
would be terribly,
terribly risky.
Nothing is too risky
to save a howell.
2 howells, dear.
Uh, that's right.
Make that 2 howells.
Write that down.
Besides risk,
we're facing a time problem.
You see, the fuel
in this jet pack
has given me a propellant
potency retention problem.
How dare you
talk that way
in front of my wife?
Oh, what I meant was
that this particular
type of fuel
loses its potency
when it gets old.
Nonsense, professor.
Haven't you heard?
There's no fuel
like an old fuel.
Ha ha.
Let's sneak in
and get the jet pack.
Oh, it seems
such a mean trick
to play on gilligan.
Well, I know
how you feel, dear,
but--but you heard
the professor.
If--if one of us
doesn't attempt
the trip soon,
our chance
of being rescued
will be ruined.
True.
Gilligan is the only one
on the island
who can
make this trip.
He's young, he's wiry,
and he's agile.
Besides, who else
could we possibly
trick into doing it?
You see, gilligan,
he's determined
to go through
with this.
Lovey,
how dare you bring
gilligan here?
He's sure
to try and stop me
from--from making
this flight.
Well, wait a minute,
Mr. Howell.
I don't know how
to forgive you,
lovey,
for what
you've done.
Don't be angry,
Mr. Howell.
She doesn't want you
to make the flight,
either.
Well, if I won't
make the flight,
who will?
Well, uh...
Aha! I should
have known
that you would
want to grab the glory.
Oh, Mr.--
oh, you can't
fool me, gilligan.
You know,
whoever makes this flight
will be
a national hero,
and you're aching
to go instead of me.
Is that
what you think?
I don't think so,
I know.
I know you don't know,
either.
Now, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Don't try and stop me,
'cause it won't
do any good.
Well, ok.
I won't try
to stop you.
Well, i--i know that
your persistence
is hard to break down,
my boy,
but before
you convince me
that you should go
instead of me,
give me one good reason--
one, sir--
why I shouldn't
make this flight.
But, thurston,
if anything
happened to you,
who would
take care of me,
and all our beloved
little howells?
What beloved
little howells?
Well, the howell
steel company
and the howell
chemical company
and the howell--
that's just it,
lovey.
I--I'm tired
of being a man
who's known for
the companies he keeps.
I want to be known
as a man
who would
risk his life
for his dear
and beloved friends.
Oh, thurston.
Please try
to understand,
gilligan.
Despite
my advanced age
and my physical
inability
and the fact that
you're more qualified,
I am going
to make this flight.
So please
leave me to do
what I must do.
That's very brave
and noble, Mr. Howell,
but I think I ought
to be the one
that takes the flight.
Now, you just go.
You heard what
Mr. Howell said.
Go ahead.
I want to be alone
to say good-bye
to my husband.
Lovey,
how could you?
Oh, darling,
how could
I watch you
brave,
courageous,
thing?
Well, how could you
make gilligan go away?
But you said
you wanted him
to leave.
No, it was
just an act
to trick him
into making the flight.
Oh, darling, I forgot
what a marvelous actor
you are.
Oh, and all this
is just a little play.
Are you furious
with me?
Of course not.
It's show biz.
Hurry up, Mary Ann.
I think
I hear gilligan.
Hurry up.
Ok. Oh, gilligan!
Oh, gilligan!
Oh, come quick!
What is it,
Mary Ann?
Oh, gilligan,
ginger's gonna fly
to Hawaii.
You've got
to stop her.
You'd better find
somebody else.
I already tried
to stop Mr. Howell
and couldn't do it.
Nobody's going
to stop me,
Mary Ann.
If I have
to sacrifice
myself
for my friends,
I intend
to do so.
You don't want
to sacrifice yourself.
Of course I do.
Is there a brave,
decent person
on this island
that wouldn't
want to?
No, but there's a rotten,
cowardly person
who doesn't want to.
Gilligan.
You guessed it.
Oh, Mary Ann, um,
would you give me
a few minutes alone
with gilligan?
Gilligan?
There's something
that I want to do
before I fly away.
Buy insurance?
No. I want
to give you
a good-bye kiss.
You don't have to.
I'm not going anyplace.
I see. Well,
now, let me get
this plan straight,
professor.
We build a dummy,
we strap
the jet pack to it,
pin a note to it,
and then send it off
to Hawaii from
a launching pad.
Exactly. Here's
the drawing I made.
Wow, what
a brilliant idea.
Well, frankly,
skipper,
I think it's my
most brilliant idea.
There's only one thing
I'm not certain of.
Oh, what's that?
If it will work.
Well, I wonder
what's going on
over there?
Good heavens.
What's going on here?
Oh, professor.
Uh, well, uh...
Well, I guess
we'd better confess,
ginger.
We were desperate.
We wanted somebody
to try to fly
to Hawaii.
Well, you can stop
being desperate,
Mary Ann.
Someone is going
to fly to Hawaii.
They are? Who?
The dummy.
Huh? What did
you say?
I said, the dummy is
gonna fly to Hawaii.
Oh, no, I'm not.
I'm not flying anyplace.
How did I get
in this thing?
Let me out of here.
I'm not gonna stay here.
I'm getting
out of here.
Here, take--take
this jet pack. Oh!
There. How do you
think he looks?
Well,
he's not exactly
rock Hudson,
but I guess
he'll have
to do.
Now, we have
to make sure
he's 6 feet,
5 inches tall.
How are we gonna
find that out
without
a tape measure?
Easy.
Ginger, what are
you doing?
Well, I used
to go steady
with this
basketball player.
He was exactly
6 feet 5,
and I know
just how much
I had to reach up
to kiss him.
Oh.
Oh, ginger,
have you got a--
what is it,
Mrs. Howell?
Well, I don't mean
to meddle, dear,
but since
that dummy's
about to fly away,
do you think it
wise
to become
emotionally
involved?
There's just one thing
I don't understand,
professor.
Yes?
Well,
how's the dummy
gonna operate
the jet pack
when he flies
to Hawaii?
You see,
by building him
into exact
height and weight
specifications
and by placing him
precisely
at the proper angle
on the pad,
I feel the essential
thrust of the rocket
will be enough to send him
on a direct and unswerving
azimuth to Hawaii.
Oh. Did you hear that,
gilligan?
My right ear heard it.
My left ear's waiting
for the translation.
I merely said the dummy's
all set to go.
Oh. You know,
skipper,
I'm kind of worried
about the dummy
making the flight.
Oh, you don't
have to worry
about that.
The professor's
got it
all worked out.
The dummy
will definitely
fly to Hawaii.
You think
he's dressed right?
It's the rainy season
in Honolulu.
Yes, I know,
but I don't think
he should--
will you stop
with that
conversation?
Now, all I have to do
is write this note,
put it on the dummy,
and we're all set
to blast off.
Have a good trip,
dummy.
Don't forget to write.
I'll pick it up.
Gilligan! Stop him!
I haven't finished
the note!
Skipper! Skipper!
Where's the dummy?
Oh, here it comes.
Aw, I was
afraid of that.
The trip through
the jungle and the water
carrying the extra weight
used up practically
all the fuel.
What? You mean,
we won't be able
to fly it
to Hawaii?
I'm afraid not.
Will the real dummy
please stand up?
Well, professor?
Well, my original
conclusion
was correct.
After gilligan's
little cruise
around the lagoon,
there isn't nearly
enough fuel left
for a flight
to Hawaii.
You know what you are?
You're bumbling, stupid,
incompetent and useless,
and those are
your good points.
You're right,
skipper.
I deserve it.
Professor!
Professor!
We--we heard
the most
marvelous news
on the radio,
the newscast.
All of Mr. Howell's
stocks have gone up.
Uh, no, that's not
the good news.
We heard
that they'll be
a fleet of ships
in the area tomorrow
to make
a final search
for the jet pack.
That's
the good news.
Oh, what do you
make of that,
professor?
Well,
it's a long shot,
skipper,
but I've got an idea
that may reduce
the odds.
Can I help, professor?
Please, gilligan.
I want to do something
to make up for what I did.
Please, professor?
Gilligan,
why don't you go
take a flying leap?
That's it exactly,
skipper.
That's the basis
of my whole idea.
A flying leap.
Huh?
Alright. Listen.
There's enough fuel
left in the jet pack
for about
a 15-minute flight.
Now, suppose
one of us were
to put on the pack
and go straight up,
while the ships
were in the area.
That would improve
our chances
of being spotted
immeasurably.
It certainly would.
Well, that makes
great sense.
Lovey:
Oh, professor,
it's wonderful
having someone
like you with us.
You're absolutely
marvelous.
If you were
a republican,
you'd be perfect.
The professor sure is
taking a long time
to decide
whether his plan's
gonna work or not.
Oh, it will work,
gilligan.
The professor's
trying to decide
who will get
the assignment
of strapping on
the jet pack
and soaring
up in the air.
Yeah, I guess
that's it.
Well, I suggest
to save time,
we volunteer.
Anyone volunteer
to go up 100 feet?
90 feet?
Anyone willing to put on
my elevator shoes?
Well, professor?
Well, it'll work.
One of us can go up
in the morning,
and the flight should be
comparatively safe.
I knew it.
Now, who will
volunteer?
Mr. Howell, we can't
pick our flyer
on a volunteer
basis.
Well, why not?
Because no one
wants to volunteer.
Well, that's not true.
I am not afraid.
I would love to go.
Skipper:
Oh, come on,
Mr. Howell.
Oh, I'm sure
Mr. Howell
is quite sincere.
But since the rise
in altitude
causes a loss
of oxygen
to the brain,
we're going to have
to take a test
to determine
which of us
is least likely
to become
light-headed
or dizzy.
Take me.
Take me, professor.
I'd love to soar
into the wild blue yonder.
I would--
I get so dizzy
on my tippy toes.
Oh, hold me,
professor.
Time, Mary Ann.
Wow. I can hardly walk.
I haven't
felt like this
since I was
elected president
of the wine-tasting
society.
Where's gilligan?
Yeah?
Hi, everybody.
Is the ride
over already?
That's too bad.
I was just having fun.
Gilligan
isn't even dizzy
or light-headed.
That's because he's dizzy
and light-headed
all the time.
He's just used to it.
Gilligan, my boy,
you've been selected
as our astronaut,
fairly and squarely.
I have?
Well, couldn't we take
the test over again,
and this time,
I'll cheat a little bit?
Whoa. Whoa, gilligan.
You're about
to begin your training
as an astronaut.
Oh, professor.
Do I have to?
Well, you're not
afraid, are you?
Who me? Afraid?
Me afraid?
Me afraid.
98, 99...
Thurston?
Oh, yes, my dear?
This astronaut
training
is rather
vigorous,
isn't it?
Yes, it's hard
to relax
with gilligan
hanging about.
How's your drink,
my dear?
Very nice,
thank you.
Would you care
for another one?
Oh, thank you, dear.
This time,
would you give me
a little mint?
Which little mint
would you prefer?
The one in Denver
or the one
in San Francisco?
Ha. That's a howell
rich joke.
What's the count,
Mr. Howell?
The count?
Oh, of course,
darling.
We were supposed
to count his swings.
Oh, yes. Yes.
Onesies...
Uh, now big--big
twosies.
Never mind.
What time is it,
Mrs. Howell?
Oh, dear.
It's so hard to see
without
my lorgnette.
It's, uh, 4 rubies
past the diamond.
Well, I think
he's had enough.
Let's let him down.
Are you alright,
little buddy?
I think so,
but I don't think
I was cut out
to be a swinger.
Here's our astronaut,
professor.
What's wrong with him?
Well, he's just
so exhausted
from all
the astronaut training
that he's sound asleep.
I'd better
wake him up, huh?
Come on, gilligan.
Wake up. Wake up.
Are you awake,
little buddy?
Sure, skipper.
Ah, fine.
Well, let's get him
into the jet pack
and onto
the launching pad
before he wakes up.
According to
the last news flash,
the ships won't be
in the area for
another 10 minutes.
Alright.
Let's get him up.
[Snoring]
Gilligan, little buddy.
Gilligan.
Mmm?
Wake up.
Rise and shine.
Hi, skipper.
I was dreaming about
wearing the jet pack
and blasting off
into space.
I'm gonna
go back to sleep
and see how
it turns out.
But that's no dream,
gilligan.
You are gonna blast off
in a jet pack.
I am?
Yes.
I am. Oh, I'm getting
out of here.
Oh, now wait a minute,
gilligan.
We've got to get you
up in the air
so those Navy ships
can spot you
and we can all
get off the island.
Gilligan, I'm sending
the radio up with you
so you'll know
from the news flashes
exactly when the ships
are in the area,
and exactly when
they've spotted you.
Good luck.
Professor, do I
really have to?
Alright,
count down.
10, 9...
Oh, professor,
I don't think
we should
leave this island.
8, 7...
I really
like it very much.
6, 5...
Put your hand on it.
4, 3...
I'm not
going up.
I'm not going up.
2, 1...
Good luck,
gilligan!
I'm not.
Blastoff!
I'm going up,
but I'm never gonna
go up again! Oh!
Well, do you see him,
professor?
There he is,
and he's at just
the right altitude
for our ships
to spot him.
It's not so bad up here.
In fact, it's kind of fun.
I'm a bird. I'm a plane.
I'm supergilligan.
[Squawking]
That's the only
way to fly.
Oh, won't it
be wonderful
when those sailors
pick us up, ginger?
It won't be
the first time
it's happened
to me,
Mary Ann.
[Yawning] It shouldn't
be too long now.
I'd better keep my ears
open for the news.
Yeah. I'd better keep
my eyes open, too.
Announcer: We interrupt
this program
to bring you a bulletin
from the pacific
where our Navy ships
are searching
for a lost
experimental jet pack.
This is chick Hearn
reporting to you
from the deck
of the destroyer redwood,
and we have just sighted
a ufo in this area.
A ufo? That's an
unidentified flying object
from another planet.
I wonder where it is?
I wonder where it is?
Chick Hearn:
About 250 miles
out of Hawaii.
Oh, that's right
where I am.
Navy observers
have not yet determined
whether the ufo
is friendly
or unfriendly.
Well, I'm not waitin'
to find out.
I'm gettin' out of here.
Chick Hearn:
Ladies and gentlemen,
the ufo
has just disappeared
into a cloud bank.
Yeah. Good. As long
as it's in the cloud,
it'll never see me.
What's the matter
with him, professor?
What's he doing?
Well, he's steered himself
into a cumulus cloud.
Oh, no.
If he's in a cloud,
those ships
won't be able
to spot him.
Well, that's not
the worst of it.
Oh, what do you mean,
professor?
Well, now that he's flown
into a cumulus cloud,
the exhaust
from the jet fuel
is bound to seed
the water vapor,
and the result
of that will be--
no!
Rain!
Yeah. That's
a reasonably
accurate guess.
[Girls scream]
Gilligan!
Announcer:
And so, as a result
of the unexpected
heavy rainstorm
in the area,
the Navy has decided
to abandon their search
for the lost jet pack.
That's the end
of that.
And all because
you dived
into a cloud
and started
the rain.
Yeah, but the radio said
there was a ufo
in the area,
and I was scared.
Gilligan,
there was no need
for you
to be frightened.
You were the ufo
they spotted.
Huh?
They saw you
flying around
up there,
and they reported
an unidentified
flying object.
Gilligan:
Me, a ufo?
Yeah, and you
scared yourself
right into
ruining
our chances
of getting
off the island.
Well, if I'm a ufo,
I gotta know one thing.
What's that?
Am I from
Mars or Venus?
Where do I
come from?
It all depends
on how far I have
to chase you!
I figured out
how to synthesize
the jet fuel.
It was a simple matter
to make enough for 2 trips
to Hawaii.
Oh, boy, professor.
How soon are we
gonna try it?
Well, I've already
filled the fuel tanks
on the jet pack,
so once we build
a new dummy, we could--
what's the matter?
The jet pack
is gone.
Oh, professor.
Oh, skipper, come quick.
What's the matter?
Oh, it's gilligan.
He's put
the jet pack on,
and he's gonna
launch himself to Hawaii.
Oh, no.
Oh, he thinks
it's his fault
we weren't rescued
the last time.
Come on, let's go.
Gilligan, wait!
Don't worry, professor.
I haven't forgotten
one thing you told me
about the jet pack.
Not one single,
solitary thing.
Except to buckle it on.
Nice going,
gilligan.
Skipper,
give me a boost.
Yeah, sure.
Give you a boost?
I'll give you
a boost.
* now this is the tale
of our castaways *
* they'll have to make
the best of things *
* it's an uphill climb *
* the first mate
and his skipper, too *
* will do their very best *
* to make the others
comfortable *
* in the tropic island nest *
no phone...
No lights...
* no motorcars,
not a single luxury *
* like Robinson crusoe *
* it's primitive
as can be *
* so join us here
each week, my friends *
* you're sure to get a smile *
* from 7 stranded castaways *
* here on gilligan's isle *
next maneuver, general.
Well, sir?
Yeah. It seems like
quite a device,
colonel.
You're,
uh, convinced
that I should
authorize this
for official
air force use.
General, our tests
in the pacific
indicate that the xjp
will render all other
manually controlled
jet packs obsolete.
It's compact
and lightweight.
Practically anybody
can operate it,
and it has a range
of over 500 miles.
Frankly, sir, I think
it's a perfect machine.
[Knock on door]
Come in.
Begging the colonel's
pardon, sir.
Yes, lieutenant?
Just received
this message
from the test ship
in the pacific, sir.
Bad news, colonel?
It seems
our perfect machine
has become a victim
of human error, sir.
"Jet pack xjp
lost at sea.
Please advise."
Yeah, that is
bad news.
Yes, sir. We certainly
wouldn't want
the xjp to fall
into the wrong hands.
Lieutenant,
authorize a fleet
to begin a search
for the pack at once.
Yes, sir.
I wouldn't be
too concerned,
general.
The pack should
stay afloat
for several days,
and, well, I believe
our ships will find it.
Good. You know,
what I can't believe
is that man
has reached the age
where he can fly
like a bird.
You know, I haven't
seen one of these
since I was a boy
reading
the adventures
of buck Rogers.
Buck who?
Buck Rogers.
He was the guy
who used to fly around
in one of these things.
Oh, gilligan.
Why don't you--
hi. Any luck?
What's that?
I think it's
buck Rogers' rocket.
Let me see that.
If this were
Mr. Rogers' rocket,
his mother would
have sewn his name
on it somewhere.
Gilligan,
there is no such person
as buck Rogers.
He was a comic book
character.
Did you ever meet
buck Rogers?
Of course not.
Then how do you know
he wasn't a real person?
I'm gonna explain it
once more, and then i'm--
gilligan,
you're right.
I am?
You mean,
this does belong
to buck Rogers?
No, but it is
a jet-powered flight pack,
and it's practically
full of fuel.
Well, maybe we can
find some way
to use it
to get off the island.
I'll begin experiments
right away.
You know,
it's just possible
that there's enough fuel
in this jet pack
to get it all the way back
to Hawaii.
Oh, boy. Let's start
experimenting.
Come on, gilligan.
* just sit right back,
and you'll hear a tale *
* a tale of a fateful trip *
* that started
from this tropic port *
* aboard this tiny ship *
* the mate was
a mighty sailin' man *
* the skipper brave and sure *
* 5 passengers set sail that day
for a 3-hour tour *
* a 3-hour tour *
[thunder]
* the weather started
getting rough *
* the tiny ship was tossed *
* if not for the courage
of the fearless crew *
* the minnow would be lost,
the minnow would be lost *
* the ship's aground
on the shore of this *
* uncharted desert isle *
* with gilligan *
* the skipper, too *
* the millionaire and his wife *
* the movie star *
* the professor and Mary Ann *
* here on gilligan's isle *
Hey, professor?
Professor?
Oh, good heavens.
Look what
you've made me do.
Sorry, professor,
but we're dying
to find out
if this jet pack's
gonna be able
to fly to Hawaii.
Yeah.
Well, there's a chance,
skipper, but--
oh, did you
hear that,
gilligan?
One of us
might be able
to fly to Hawaii.
Isn't that
great news?
Yeah.
It's a long trip there.
I hope the jet pack
has a good movie.
Yeah, so do I,
because...
When you gentlemen leave,
I can complete
this fuel analysis.
Alright, professor.
We're going right now.
Come on, gilligan.
Professor, I just have
one more question--
professor.
Professor.
Oh, why did you girls
have to burst in
in the middle
of an experiment?
Oh, we're sorry,
professor,
but we heard
that gilligan
found some kind
of a jet pack
to get us
off the island.
Well, it's possible,
ginger,
but I won't know
till I complete
these tests.
Oh, you just
don't know
how desperately
I want to breathe
the heady wines
of civilization
again.
Oh, to meet a tall,
handsome man
and have a candlelit
dinner for 2,
and then
after dinner,
to dance.
Oh, just to float--
just float
through the air--
until dawn's
gentle fingers
pull back
the soft blanket
of night.
That's a scene
from a tender,
romantic movie I was in.
It was called,
the bird people meet
the chicken pluckers.
Alright. Would you girls
leave now
so I can continue
my work?
Oh, but--
but, professor--
alright, out!
Shoo!
I'll let you
know the results
the moment I'm finished.
Now, go!
Professor?
Oh, I'm terribly
sorry.
Oh, dear,
professor.
Did we cause you
to spill that?
Oh, not at all,
Mrs. Howell.
I've had so much
practice recently,
I could have spilled it
without your help.
Uh, how soon will you know
if the flight is feasible?
Well, if you'll both
be quiet,
I will know
in a minute.
Well, professor,
can one of us
fly off
for help now?
I'm afraid not,
Mrs. Howell,
although
my experiments
indicate
the jet pack has
sufficient flight range
to reach Hawaii,
I'm afraid such a flight
would be terribly,
terribly risky.
Nothing is too risky
to save a howell.
2 howells, dear.
Uh, that's right.
Make that 2 howells.
Write that down.
Besides risk,
we're facing a time problem.
You see, the fuel
in this jet pack
has given me a propellant
potency retention problem.
How dare you
talk that way
in front of my wife?
Oh, what I meant was
that this particular
type of fuel
loses its potency
when it gets old.
Nonsense, professor.
Haven't you heard?
There's no fuel
like an old fuel.
Ha ha.
Let's sneak in
and get the jet pack.
Oh, it seems
such a mean trick
to play on gilligan.
Well, I know
how you feel, dear,
but--but you heard
the professor.
If--if one of us
doesn't attempt
the trip soon,
our chance
of being rescued
will be ruined.
True.
Gilligan is the only one
on the island
who can
make this trip.
He's young, he's wiry,
and he's agile.
Besides, who else
could we possibly
trick into doing it?
You see, gilligan,
he's determined
to go through
with this.
Lovey,
how dare you bring
gilligan here?
He's sure
to try and stop me
from--from making
this flight.
Well, wait a minute,
Mr. Howell.
I don't know how
to forgive you,
lovey,
for what
you've done.
Don't be angry,
Mr. Howell.
She doesn't want you
to make the flight,
either.
Well, if I won't
make the flight,
who will?
Well, uh...
Aha! I should
have known
that you would
want to grab the glory.
Oh, Mr.--
oh, you can't
fool me, gilligan.
You know,
whoever makes this flight
will be
a national hero,
and you're aching
to go instead of me.
Is that
what you think?
I don't think so,
I know.
I know you don't know,
either.
Now, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Don't try and stop me,
'cause it won't
do any good.
Well, ok.
I won't try
to stop you.
Well, i--i know that
your persistence
is hard to break down,
my boy,
but before
you convince me
that you should go
instead of me,
give me one good reason--
one, sir--
why I shouldn't
make this flight.
But, thurston,
if anything
happened to you,
who would
take care of me,
and all our beloved
little howells?
What beloved
little howells?
Well, the howell
steel company
and the howell
chemical company
and the howell--
that's just it,
lovey.
I--I'm tired
of being a man
who's known for
the companies he keeps.
I want to be known
as a man
who would
risk his life
for his dear
and beloved friends.
Oh, thurston.
Please try
to understand,
gilligan.
Despite
my advanced age
and my physical
inability
and the fact that
you're more qualified,
I am going
to make this flight.
So please
leave me to do
what I must do.
That's very brave
and noble, Mr. Howell,
but I think I ought
to be the one
that takes the flight.
Now, you just go.
You heard what
Mr. Howell said.
Go ahead.
I want to be alone
to say good-bye
to my husband.
Lovey,
how could you?
Oh, darling,
how could
I watch you
brave,
courageous,
thing?
Well, how could you
make gilligan go away?
But you said
you wanted him
to leave.
No, it was
just an act
to trick him
into making the flight.
Oh, darling, I forgot
what a marvelous actor
you are.
Oh, and all this
is just a little play.
Are you furious
with me?
Of course not.
It's show biz.
Hurry up, Mary Ann.
I think
I hear gilligan.
Hurry up.
Ok. Oh, gilligan!
Oh, gilligan!
Oh, come quick!
What is it,
Mary Ann?
Oh, gilligan,
ginger's gonna fly
to Hawaii.
You've got
to stop her.
You'd better find
somebody else.
I already tried
to stop Mr. Howell
and couldn't do it.
Nobody's going
to stop me,
Mary Ann.
If I have
to sacrifice
myself
for my friends,
I intend
to do so.
You don't want
to sacrifice yourself.
Of course I do.
Is there a brave,
decent person
on this island
that wouldn't
want to?
No, but there's a rotten,
cowardly person
who doesn't want to.
Gilligan.
You guessed it.
Oh, Mary Ann, um,
would you give me
a few minutes alone
with gilligan?
Gilligan?
There's something
that I want to do
before I fly away.
Buy insurance?
No. I want
to give you
a good-bye kiss.
You don't have to.
I'm not going anyplace.
I see. Well,
now, let me get
this plan straight,
professor.
We build a dummy,
we strap
the jet pack to it,
pin a note to it,
and then send it off
to Hawaii from
a launching pad.
Exactly. Here's
the drawing I made.
Wow, what
a brilliant idea.
Well, frankly,
skipper,
I think it's my
most brilliant idea.
There's only one thing
I'm not certain of.
Oh, what's that?
If it will work.
Well, I wonder
what's going on
over there?
Good heavens.
What's going on here?
Oh, professor.
Uh, well, uh...
Well, I guess
we'd better confess,
ginger.
We were desperate.
We wanted somebody
to try to fly
to Hawaii.
Well, you can stop
being desperate,
Mary Ann.
Someone is going
to fly to Hawaii.
They are? Who?
The dummy.
Huh? What did
you say?
I said, the dummy is
gonna fly to Hawaii.
Oh, no, I'm not.
I'm not flying anyplace.
How did I get
in this thing?
Let me out of here.
I'm not gonna stay here.
I'm getting
out of here.
Here, take--take
this jet pack. Oh!
There. How do you
think he looks?
Well,
he's not exactly
rock Hudson,
but I guess
he'll have
to do.
Now, we have
to make sure
he's 6 feet,
5 inches tall.
How are we gonna
find that out
without
a tape measure?
Easy.
Ginger, what are
you doing?
Well, I used
to go steady
with this
basketball player.
He was exactly
6 feet 5,
and I know
just how much
I had to reach up
to kiss him.
Oh.
Oh, ginger,
have you got a--
what is it,
Mrs. Howell?
Well, I don't mean
to meddle, dear,
but since
that dummy's
about to fly away,
do you think it
wise
to become
emotionally
involved?
There's just one thing
I don't understand,
professor.
Yes?
Well,
how's the dummy
gonna operate
the jet pack
when he flies
to Hawaii?
You see,
by building him
into exact
height and weight
specifications
and by placing him
precisely
at the proper angle
on the pad,
I feel the essential
thrust of the rocket
will be enough to send him
on a direct and unswerving
azimuth to Hawaii.
Oh. Did you hear that,
gilligan?
My right ear heard it.
My left ear's waiting
for the translation.
I merely said the dummy's
all set to go.
Oh. You know,
skipper,
I'm kind of worried
about the dummy
making the flight.
Oh, you don't
have to worry
about that.
The professor's
got it
all worked out.
The dummy
will definitely
fly to Hawaii.
You think
he's dressed right?
It's the rainy season
in Honolulu.
Yes, I know,
but I don't think
he should--
will you stop
with that
conversation?
Now, all I have to do
is write this note,
put it on the dummy,
and we're all set
to blast off.
Have a good trip,
dummy.
Don't forget to write.
I'll pick it up.
Gilligan! Stop him!
I haven't finished
the note!
Skipper! Skipper!
Where's the dummy?
Oh, here it comes.
Aw, I was
afraid of that.
The trip through
the jungle and the water
carrying the extra weight
used up practically
all the fuel.
What? You mean,
we won't be able
to fly it
to Hawaii?
I'm afraid not.
Will the real dummy
please stand up?
Well, professor?
Well, my original
conclusion
was correct.
After gilligan's
little cruise
around the lagoon,
there isn't nearly
enough fuel left
for a flight
to Hawaii.
You know what you are?
You're bumbling, stupid,
incompetent and useless,
and those are
your good points.
You're right,
skipper.
I deserve it.
Professor!
Professor!
We--we heard
the most
marvelous news
on the radio,
the newscast.
All of Mr. Howell's
stocks have gone up.
Uh, no, that's not
the good news.
We heard
that they'll be
a fleet of ships
in the area tomorrow
to make
a final search
for the jet pack.
That's
the good news.
Oh, what do you
make of that,
professor?
Well,
it's a long shot,
skipper,
but I've got an idea
that may reduce
the odds.
Can I help, professor?
Please, gilligan.
I want to do something
to make up for what I did.
Please, professor?
Gilligan,
why don't you go
take a flying leap?
That's it exactly,
skipper.
That's the basis
of my whole idea.
A flying leap.
Huh?
Alright. Listen.
There's enough fuel
left in the jet pack
for about
a 15-minute flight.
Now, suppose
one of us were
to put on the pack
and go straight up,
while the ships
were in the area.
That would improve
our chances
of being spotted
immeasurably.
It certainly would.
Well, that makes
great sense.
Lovey:
Oh, professor,
it's wonderful
having someone
like you with us.
You're absolutely
marvelous.
If you were
a republican,
you'd be perfect.
The professor sure is
taking a long time
to decide
whether his plan's
gonna work or not.
Oh, it will work,
gilligan.
The professor's
trying to decide
who will get
the assignment
of strapping on
the jet pack
and soaring
up in the air.
Yeah, I guess
that's it.
Well, I suggest
to save time,
we volunteer.
Anyone volunteer
to go up 100 feet?
90 feet?
Anyone willing to put on
my elevator shoes?
Well, professor?
Well, it'll work.
One of us can go up
in the morning,
and the flight should be
comparatively safe.
I knew it.
Now, who will
volunteer?
Mr. Howell, we can't
pick our flyer
on a volunteer
basis.
Well, why not?
Because no one
wants to volunteer.
Well, that's not true.
I am not afraid.
I would love to go.
Skipper:
Oh, come on,
Mr. Howell.
Oh, I'm sure
Mr. Howell
is quite sincere.
But since the rise
in altitude
causes a loss
of oxygen
to the brain,
we're going to have
to take a test
to determine
which of us
is least likely
to become
light-headed
or dizzy.
Take me.
Take me, professor.
I'd love to soar
into the wild blue yonder.
I would--
I get so dizzy
on my tippy toes.
Oh, hold me,
professor.
Time, Mary Ann.
Wow. I can hardly walk.
I haven't
felt like this
since I was
elected president
of the wine-tasting
society.
Where's gilligan?
Yeah?
Hi, everybody.
Is the ride
over already?
That's too bad.
I was just having fun.
Gilligan
isn't even dizzy
or light-headed.
That's because he's dizzy
and light-headed
all the time.
He's just used to it.
Gilligan, my boy,
you've been selected
as our astronaut,
fairly and squarely.
I have?
Well, couldn't we take
the test over again,
and this time,
I'll cheat a little bit?
Whoa. Whoa, gilligan.
You're about
to begin your training
as an astronaut.
Oh, professor.
Do I have to?
Well, you're not
afraid, are you?
Who me? Afraid?
Me afraid?
Me afraid.
98, 99...
Thurston?
Oh, yes, my dear?
This astronaut
training
is rather
vigorous,
isn't it?
Yes, it's hard
to relax
with gilligan
hanging about.
How's your drink,
my dear?
Very nice,
thank you.
Would you care
for another one?
Oh, thank you, dear.
This time,
would you give me
a little mint?
Which little mint
would you prefer?
The one in Denver
or the one
in San Francisco?
Ha. That's a howell
rich joke.
What's the count,
Mr. Howell?
The count?
Oh, of course,
darling.
We were supposed
to count his swings.
Oh, yes. Yes.
Onesies...
Uh, now big--big
twosies.
Never mind.
What time is it,
Mrs. Howell?
Oh, dear.
It's so hard to see
without
my lorgnette.
It's, uh, 4 rubies
past the diamond.
Well, I think
he's had enough.
Let's let him down.
Are you alright,
little buddy?
I think so,
but I don't think
I was cut out
to be a swinger.
Here's our astronaut,
professor.
What's wrong with him?
Well, he's just
so exhausted
from all
the astronaut training
that he's sound asleep.
I'd better
wake him up, huh?
Come on, gilligan.
Wake up. Wake up.
Are you awake,
little buddy?
Sure, skipper.
Ah, fine.
Well, let's get him
into the jet pack
and onto
the launching pad
before he wakes up.
According to
the last news flash,
the ships won't be
in the area for
another 10 minutes.
Alright.
Let's get him up.
[Snoring]
Gilligan, little buddy.
Gilligan.
Mmm?
Wake up.
Rise and shine.
Hi, skipper.
I was dreaming about
wearing the jet pack
and blasting off
into space.
I'm gonna
go back to sleep
and see how
it turns out.
But that's no dream,
gilligan.
You are gonna blast off
in a jet pack.
I am?
Yes.
I am. Oh, I'm getting
out of here.
Oh, now wait a minute,
gilligan.
We've got to get you
up in the air
so those Navy ships
can spot you
and we can all
get off the island.
Gilligan, I'm sending
the radio up with you
so you'll know
from the news flashes
exactly when the ships
are in the area,
and exactly when
they've spotted you.
Good luck.
Professor, do I
really have to?
Alright,
count down.
10, 9...
Oh, professor,
I don't think
we should
leave this island.
8, 7...
I really
like it very much.
6, 5...
Put your hand on it.
4, 3...
I'm not
going up.
I'm not going up.
2, 1...
Good luck,
gilligan!
I'm not.
Blastoff!
I'm going up,
but I'm never gonna
go up again! Oh!
Well, do you see him,
professor?
There he is,
and he's at just
the right altitude
for our ships
to spot him.
It's not so bad up here.
In fact, it's kind of fun.
I'm a bird. I'm a plane.
I'm supergilligan.
[Squawking]
That's the only
way to fly.
Oh, won't it
be wonderful
when those sailors
pick us up, ginger?
It won't be
the first time
it's happened
to me,
Mary Ann.
[Yawning] It shouldn't
be too long now.
I'd better keep my ears
open for the news.
Yeah. I'd better keep
my eyes open, too.
Announcer: We interrupt
this program
to bring you a bulletin
from the pacific
where our Navy ships
are searching
for a lost
experimental jet pack.
This is chick Hearn
reporting to you
from the deck
of the destroyer redwood,
and we have just sighted
a ufo in this area.
A ufo? That's an
unidentified flying object
from another planet.
I wonder where it is?
I wonder where it is?
Chick Hearn:
About 250 miles
out of Hawaii.
Oh, that's right
where I am.
Navy observers
have not yet determined
whether the ufo
is friendly
or unfriendly.
Well, I'm not waitin'
to find out.
I'm gettin' out of here.
Chick Hearn:
Ladies and gentlemen,
the ufo
has just disappeared
into a cloud bank.
Yeah. Good. As long
as it's in the cloud,
it'll never see me.
What's the matter
with him, professor?
What's he doing?
Well, he's steered himself
into a cumulus cloud.
Oh, no.
If he's in a cloud,
those ships
won't be able
to spot him.
Well, that's not
the worst of it.
Oh, what do you mean,
professor?
Well, now that he's flown
into a cumulus cloud,
the exhaust
from the jet fuel
is bound to seed
the water vapor,
and the result
of that will be--
no!
Rain!
Yeah. That's
a reasonably
accurate guess.
[Girls scream]
Gilligan!
Announcer:
And so, as a result
of the unexpected
heavy rainstorm
in the area,
the Navy has decided
to abandon their search
for the lost jet pack.
That's the end
of that.
And all because
you dived
into a cloud
and started
the rain.
Yeah, but the radio said
there was a ufo
in the area,
and I was scared.
Gilligan,
there was no need
for you
to be frightened.
You were the ufo
they spotted.
Huh?
They saw you
flying around
up there,
and they reported
an unidentified
flying object.
Gilligan:
Me, a ufo?
Yeah, and you
scared yourself
right into
ruining
our chances
of getting
off the island.
Well, if I'm a ufo,
I gotta know one thing.
What's that?
Am I from
Mars or Venus?
Where do I
come from?
It all depends
on how far I have
to chase you!
I figured out
how to synthesize
the jet fuel.
It was a simple matter
to make enough for 2 trips
to Hawaii.
Oh, boy, professor.
How soon are we
gonna try it?
Well, I've already
filled the fuel tanks
on the jet pack,
so once we build
a new dummy, we could--
what's the matter?
The jet pack
is gone.
Oh, professor.
Oh, skipper, come quick.
What's the matter?
Oh, it's gilligan.
He's put
the jet pack on,
and he's gonna
launch himself to Hawaii.
Oh, no.
Oh, he thinks
it's his fault
we weren't rescued
the last time.
Come on, let's go.
Gilligan, wait!
Don't worry, professor.
I haven't forgotten
one thing you told me
about the jet pack.
Not one single,
solitary thing.
Except to buckle it on.
Nice going,
gilligan.
Skipper,
give me a boost.
Yeah, sure.
Give you a boost?
I'll give you
a boost.
* now this is the tale
of our castaways *
* they'll have to make
the best of things *
* it's an uphill climb *
* the first mate
and his skipper, too *
* will do their very best *
* to make the others
comfortable *
* in the tropic island nest *
no phone...
No lights...
* no motorcars,
not a single luxury *
* like Robinson crusoe *
* it's primitive
as can be *
* so join us here
each week, my friends *
* you're sure to get a smile *
* from 7 stranded castaways *
* here on gilligan's isle *