Gilligan's Island (1964–1992): Season 3, Episode 26 - Slave Girl - full transcript
After Gilligan rescues a native from drowning in the lagoon she becomes indebted to him.
Help!
He-help!
Help! Help!
Help!
He-help--
a girl!
You almost drowned!
You saved kalani?
Yeah, well,
I heard you scream, see,
and I ran out there,
and I swam out there,
a-and I just
pulled you in.
You saved kalani?
Yeah.
You saved kalani's
life, now kalani
your slave.
Slave?!
* just sit right back
and you'll hear a tale *
* a tale of a fateful trip *
* that started
from this tropic port *
* aboard this tiny ship *
* the mate was
a mighty sailin' man *
* the skipper brave and sure *
* 5 passengers set sail that day
for a 3-hour tour *
* a 3-hour tour *
[thunder]
* the weather started
getting rough *
* the tiny ship was tossed *
* if not for the courage
of the fearless crew *
* the minnow would be lost,
the minnow would be lost *
* the ship aground
on the shore of this *
* uncharted desert isle *
* with gilligan *
* the skipper, too *
* the millionaire and his wife *
* the movie star *
* the professor and Mary Ann *
* here on gilligan's isle *
gilligan, what's
going on here?
And who's she?
Skipper,
you won't
believe it.
I'll believe it.
No, skipper,
you won't
believe it.
Honest,
you won't.
Gilligan, if I say
I'll believe it,
I'll believe it.
Ok, skipper.
I saved her
from drowning,
now she's
my slave.
I don't
believe it!
Your slave?
He saved
kalani's life,
now he is master.
Professor,
you won't
believe it!
Oh, don't go
through that
again, gilligan.
This girl says
she's gilligan's
slave.
Professor: Ah.
[Speaking
native language]
[Speaking
native language]
Professor:
She's a member
of the matoba tribe.
I don't
believe it.
[Speaking
native language]
[Speaking
native language]
Gilligan?
Gilligan?
Uh, gilligan...
[Speaking
native language]
[Speaking
native language]
Don't you
believe a word
of it.
All I did
was just
save her life
from drowning.
Exactly. And according
to matoba custom,
she must become
your slave.
Even if he doesn't
want her to?
Well, if he refuses,
he insults
the entire tribe.
Well,
let's insult
her entir tribe!
Professor:
Well, they'd attack
and kill all of us.
Let's not insult
her entire
tribe.
No, not
insult her,
not insult
her entire
tribe...
Ginger, you mean
she's gilligan's
slave?
Yeah, the professor
just told me about it.
And you're going
to hire her?
Of course!
No more dishes to wash.
Oh, no more laundry,
no more cooking,
no more sewing.
Ginger,
what's the rush?
I want to get there
before the howells do.
Come on!
Thurston, we've
simply got to hire
that native girl
immediately.
It's been awful
living here without
an upstairs maid.
But, lovey,
we don't have
an upstairs.
So we'll make her
a downstairs maid.
We don't have
a downstairs either.
As a matter of fact,
we don't even have
servants' quarters.
We'll turn this
into a maid's room.
But, lovey-poo,
where would we sleep?
Thurston,
with good help
so hard to find,
we can't afford
to give up
the chance
to get
an excellent maid.
Lovey, I hadn't
thought of it that way.
Let's hurry,
shall we, dear?
She gives
massages!
A masseuse!
Oh, we must
have her!
Oh, I've always
wanted to have
a massage!
Give master
bath now.
Just a minute
and I'll help you
with the water.
Gilligan!
Gilligan,
the professor
said
that you really
didn't want her.
I'll pay $50
a week for her.
No, no.
We'll give 100.
125!
150!
You're
bidding
against me!
Oh, I'm sorry!
We'll pay 1,000!
Oh, uh,
Sunday off
every week!
Uh, 2 sundays off
a week!
She can have
her own room!
We'll give her
a suite of rooms!
Ginger: We'll
give her her own
television set!
Mrs. Howell: Color!
I'll take the job!
No, no, no!
Oh, kalani?
I am thurston
howell III,
one of
the richest men
in the world.
You will come
to work for us,
won't you,
darling?
I'm ginger Grant,
internationally
known actress.
I'm sure you'd
rather work for me.
Kalani not work
for anyone.
Only serve
my master.
Master not work.
Kalani do.
That's
ridiculous!
If master work,
kalani lose face.
But I need
the exercise.
Kalani exercise
for you.
Professor,
I just can't stand it.
She's working her fingers
to the bone,
and she won't
let me do anything.
I don't know what
to do about it.
Well, i--
every time I try
to do something,
she always gets there
ahead of me and does it.
She's gonna wear herself
to a frazzle,
and I just don't
know what to do.
Well--
she's doing
all the work here
on the island,
and I feel
very guilty about it,
and I don't know
what to do about it.
I mean--
gilligan,
if you just be quiet
for a moment,
I'll tell you
exactly what
you can do about it.
What?
Nothing.
Nothing?
Or--
or what?
Well, there is
one exception
to this ancient
matoba custom--
if someone
wins her from you
in mortal combat.
Well, why didn't
you say so?
Somebody can win her
from me in mortal combat.
That's great!
That's the greatest idea
I've ever heard of!
What's mortal combat?
A fight to
the death--yours.
Do you have
any other ideas?
'Fraid not.
Oh, there you are,
gilligan, my boy.
Sit down.
I certainly envy you
having your own slave.
I'd like to have one.
Scrubbing the back,
stroking the forehead.
Massaging
the little tootsies,
fluffing Teddy up
from time to time.
I'd sure like
to give her to you,
but the only way
is by mortal combat.
Mortal combat?
That means
somebody's
got to kill me--
yes, I know
what that means.
Gilligan, my boy,
I have
a little proposition
to make to you.
Well, gilligan,
Mr. Howell's
partner
must have been
a bigger man
than you.
Yeah, well,
like they say,
the way to
a man's stomach
is through his heart.
Yes. Now,
you are sure
you know
what you're
supposed to do?
Sure. Mr. Howell
pretends to kill me,
and then she ends up
being his slave.
Be careful
with that thing,
it could be
dangerous!
No, it isn't.
Mr. Howell says
there isn't any way
to hurt anybody.
En garde!
[Ripping]
Fee fi fo fum!
I smell the blood
of gilligan! En garde!
En garde!
Gilligan!
En garde!
En garde! The prize
shall be the fair kalani.
Ow!
Foul! Blow was delivered
in illegal territory.
En garde!
La porte,
le crayon,
la plume,
la grand-mère!
[Murmuring in French]
Now for the finale.
Make it look good.
Aah!
Ugh!
Skewered him!
Die already,
will you?
Remove the debris.
Merci!
Grab his legs,
skipper.
[Humming]
Master.
Mmm, how sweet it is!
Ok, gilligan,
you can open
your eyes now.
Arise, my slave.
Kalani.
Who he?
That ugundi.
He saw fight.
Probably wants
to congratulate me
on my brilliant victory.
[Ugundi speaking
native language]
Yes, well,
convey my thanks
for his very good
wishes.
Why, he's not
congratulating you,
Mr. Howell.
Ugundi wants kalani,
and he's challenging you
to another fight.
Another fight?
With him.
With him?
To the death.
[Gasps]
Tell him I don't
want to fight.
He won't
believe it.
Well, tell him
I'm too rich to die.
Tell him
he can have kalani.
Mr. Howell,
it's not that simple.
The matoba are
a primitive people,
and in order
not to lose face
with his tribesmen,
ugundi's gonna have
to fight to take her.
But there's no honor
in fighting me.
I'm too easy
to kill.
Alright,
I'll try.
Uh, ugundi...
[Speaking
native language]
[Speaking
native language]
What'd he say?
Good.
You name time
when we fight.
Well, um, um,
how about, eh...
20 years from--
from right now,
hmm?
Ugundi not wait.
Kill now!
Ugundi!
Gilligan
not hurt.
He still master.
You master
of kalani?
I guess so.
No, no,
I am.
Yeah,
he is.
No, I am.
Yeah, he is!
N-N-No,
they are!
Yup! They are,
they are.
[Speaks
native language]
Who is master?
Gilligan
is master.
He good
to kalani.
Thanks
a lot.
Ugundi fight you
for kalani.
Sun high in sky.
Ugundi go away
till sun go down.
You know what happen
when sun go down?
Gilligan go down.
There,
there, dear.
What a harrowing
experience.
Yes,
it was terrible.
I haven't
been so scared
since dad took
the practice wheels
off my bicycle.
Aw. If it's going
to be too much trouble,
we'll get on
without a maid.
Forget
about the maid.
That monstrous
native is gonna
kill gilligan!
You never
told me that!
No. I was too scared
to think about it.
Oh, there,
there, dear.
Yeah, I have you
and Teddy.
Yes.
I'm not scared
anymore.
Now you
be brave, yes.
What would happen
if we didn't let
gilligan fight?
In that case,
ugundi's tribe
would attack,
and we'd all
have to fight.
Yes, well, certainly
we just can't
stand around
and watch gilligan
get killed by ugundi.
I agree with you,
skipper.
There are some things
worth fighting for
no matter what the cost.
And one of them
is gilligan.
That's exactly
how I feel.
Alright, then,
it's settled.
We've lived here
together,
and if necessary,
we'll die together.
Right.
I can't
let you
do that!
Gilligan, have you
been listening
to all of this?
If ugundi kills me,
he kills me.
I can't let
the rest of you die.
Gilligan,
that's very noble.
It's
the bravest
thing
I've
ever heard.
Oh, gilligan,
you're a hero!
Well, if i'm
so brave and noble
and I'm a hero,
how come
I'm so scared?
Little buddy,
that's
wonderful.
Hey, skipper.
Maybe if I kill myself
before ugundi does,
it won't hurt
so much.
Gilligan,
that's it!
What's it?
What you
just said!
What'd I say?
About killing yourself!
That's a great idea,
and I'm going
to help you do it!
Huh?!
I was certain
I had seen this
strychnosfera plant.
You know,
the amazonian Indians
use the bark
from this plant
to make curare.
Curare?
Well, isn't that
a deadly poison?
Yes, and once
in the bloodstream,
it paralyzes the muscles.
It even stops the victim
from breathing.
That's great,
but how are
you going
to get ugundi
to take it?
Uh-uh! Not ugundi.
You're going
to take it.
Oh, well,
that's diff--
me?
Yes. Now as I said,
it paralyzes
the muscles,
but when
carefully administered,
it makes the person
appear dead,
even though
he's very much alive.
Now ugundi
will see gilligan dead.
He will take kalani
and leave the island.
Yeah! Oh, boy,
professor,
you've sure got
a head on
your shoulders.
Yeah, and that way
I can keep my head
on my shoulders.
Yes!
How long is this
going to take,
professor?
We've only got
an hour and a half left.
Just a little while.
I must get
the exact strength.
Well, now you're sure
that this is going to be
potent enough
to kill gilligan?
Professor:
Oh, yes. He
will be very dead.
I gotta hand it
to you, professor,
you're a real genius.
When ugundi sees
that gilligan is kaput,
he'll take kalani
and leave the island.
Professor:
And we'll
all be safe.
Now in
a few moments,
I'll have enough
poison curare
to do the job,
then we'll
get gilligan.
Those fiends!
If I hadn't heard it
with my delicate
pink ears,
I wouldn't have
believed it!
Oh, I never thought
the captain
and the professor
would do a thing
like that.
They're trying to save
their own skins.
Let's go find gilligan
and protect him
from his friends.
Gilligan, we've got to
get you out of here.
Quick, quick,
quick, my boy!
No time to ask
questions. Hurry!
Hurry where?
Anywhere but here!
They're plotting
to kill you.
We haven't
got time
to waste.
They're
on their way.
Ugundi's already here?
Not that fiend,
the other
fiends!
Gilligan:
What other fiends?
Oh, the captain
and t-t-the professor.
But they're
not other--
look, you're--you're
wasting time, gilligan.
But you don't
understand,
Mr. Howell--
gilligan, my boy,
I hate to do this
to you,
but it's for
your own good.
Pow!
Lovey...I've struck
another man!
Oh, thurston,
isn't it wonderful?
You knocked him out!
But I bruised
my little pinkie!
Aw, there,
there, dear.
All he-men
are so masculine.
We've got
to hide him
before the murderers
arrive.
Let's take him
back to our hut.
That's a good idea.
We can hide him
in the safe.
We'll cover him
with $1,000 bills,
and they
will never know.
Professor:
It's perfect.
Now, I'll fill
this hypodermic
so I can administer
the poison
to gilligan.
How potent is it?
1/10 of one cc
should knock him out
for a hour.
Oh, I sure hope
it works.
I'm sure it will.
[Mr. Howell grunting]
Lovey, I'm afraid
I'm going to have
to rest.
My flab
is losing its tone.
Thurston!
Mr. Howell:
Those fiends!
Oh, you have
to protect him
from those
murderers.
Professor! They were here!
They killed gilligan!
Here they come, lovey.
What are we going to do?
Oh, you
knocked out
gilligan,
you can
take care
of them.
Of course you're right.
My dear, stand back.
Only fair
to warn you,
I was captain
of the boxing team
at vassar.
En garde!
When's it gonna
happen? Are you sure
you used enough?
I don't feel
a thing.
The drug should be
taking effect...
Right about now.
It's not working!
I don't feel a--
seeing
my little buddy
lying motionless
like that,
it kinda
gives me
the willies.
Are you sure
he's ok?
He's barely
breathing.
And there's
hardly any heartbeat.
No pulse! Good!
Good?
Yes, he's fine!
Oh, and not
a minute
too soon.
Here comes
ugundi.
[Speaking
native language]
What happened
to one you call
gilligan?
He's dead.
Sudden attack
of jungle fever.
So you can
take kalani a-and
leave the island.
Is trick!
You speak truth.
Gilligan now hunting
on island in sky.
He save kalani.
That make him
master of matoba girl.
We give him
matoba funeral.
B-B-But you
can't Bury him,
you just can't!
I mean--
ugundi:
We not Bury him.
That's good.
We burn.
Make fire!
Both: Burn?!
Think
it'll work?
It had better.
Is ginger ready?
Uh-huh.
Here they come.
Ugundi:
Make fire.
Wait!
We, too, have
a tribal custom
for saying farewell
to our warriors.
We must hold
sacred dance.
Sit. Sit.
[Playing slow tempo]
[Faster tempo]
How long before
gilligan revives?
About 25 minutes.
I hope ginger
has a lot of veils.
[Faster tempo]
[Speaking
native language]
Enough dance.
Wait!
No more wait.
[Sniffing]
Barbecue. Mmm.
What's going on here?
You're having a barbecue,
and you didn't invite me!
Because I'm the barbecue!
Ow! Ooh! Ooh! Ow!
Hot! Ow! Ow! Ow!
Ow! Whoa!
Gilligan
great fire god!
Kalani speak truth.
[All speaking
native language]
Gilligan is
great fire god!
Go, or he will put curse
on all of you!
Yell at them
or something.
[Yelling]
Alright, gilligan,
you can stop
the fake screaming now,
they're gone!
Who's faking,
who's faking?!
[All laughing]
Some fire god!
Gilligan,
you did it again!
Here, Mary Ann.
Oh, thanks,
gilligan,
I'm exhausted!
You saved
my life.
Oh, don't
say that!
Master!
* now this is a tale
of our castaways *
* they're here
for a long, long time *
* they'll have to make
the best of things *
* it's an uphill climb *
* the first mate
and his skipper, too *
* will do their very best *
* to make the others
comfortable *
* in their tropic island nest *
* no phone, no light *
* no motor cars,
not a single luxury *
* like Robinson crusoe *
* it's primitive as can be *
* so join us here
each week, my friends *
* you're sure to get a smile *
* from 7 stranded castaways *
* here on gilligan's isle *
He-help!
Help! Help!
Help!
He-help--
a girl!
You almost drowned!
You saved kalani?
Yeah, well,
I heard you scream, see,
and I ran out there,
and I swam out there,
a-and I just
pulled you in.
You saved kalani?
Yeah.
You saved kalani's
life, now kalani
your slave.
Slave?!
* just sit right back
and you'll hear a tale *
* a tale of a fateful trip *
* that started
from this tropic port *
* aboard this tiny ship *
* the mate was
a mighty sailin' man *
* the skipper brave and sure *
* 5 passengers set sail that day
for a 3-hour tour *
* a 3-hour tour *
[thunder]
* the weather started
getting rough *
* the tiny ship was tossed *
* if not for the courage
of the fearless crew *
* the minnow would be lost,
the minnow would be lost *
* the ship aground
on the shore of this *
* uncharted desert isle *
* with gilligan *
* the skipper, too *
* the millionaire and his wife *
* the movie star *
* the professor and Mary Ann *
* here on gilligan's isle *
gilligan, what's
going on here?
And who's she?
Skipper,
you won't
believe it.
I'll believe it.
No, skipper,
you won't
believe it.
Honest,
you won't.
Gilligan, if I say
I'll believe it,
I'll believe it.
Ok, skipper.
I saved her
from drowning,
now she's
my slave.
I don't
believe it!
Your slave?
He saved
kalani's life,
now he is master.
Professor,
you won't
believe it!
Oh, don't go
through that
again, gilligan.
This girl says
she's gilligan's
slave.
Professor: Ah.
[Speaking
native language]
[Speaking
native language]
Professor:
She's a member
of the matoba tribe.
I don't
believe it.
[Speaking
native language]
[Speaking
native language]
Gilligan?
Gilligan?
Uh, gilligan...
[Speaking
native language]
[Speaking
native language]
Don't you
believe a word
of it.
All I did
was just
save her life
from drowning.
Exactly. And according
to matoba custom,
she must become
your slave.
Even if he doesn't
want her to?
Well, if he refuses,
he insults
the entire tribe.
Well,
let's insult
her entir tribe!
Professor:
Well, they'd attack
and kill all of us.
Let's not insult
her entire
tribe.
No, not
insult her,
not insult
her entire
tribe...
Ginger, you mean
she's gilligan's
slave?
Yeah, the professor
just told me about it.
And you're going
to hire her?
Of course!
No more dishes to wash.
Oh, no more laundry,
no more cooking,
no more sewing.
Ginger,
what's the rush?
I want to get there
before the howells do.
Come on!
Thurston, we've
simply got to hire
that native girl
immediately.
It's been awful
living here without
an upstairs maid.
But, lovey,
we don't have
an upstairs.
So we'll make her
a downstairs maid.
We don't have
a downstairs either.
As a matter of fact,
we don't even have
servants' quarters.
We'll turn this
into a maid's room.
But, lovey-poo,
where would we sleep?
Thurston,
with good help
so hard to find,
we can't afford
to give up
the chance
to get
an excellent maid.
Lovey, I hadn't
thought of it that way.
Let's hurry,
shall we, dear?
She gives
massages!
A masseuse!
Oh, we must
have her!
Oh, I've always
wanted to have
a massage!
Give master
bath now.
Just a minute
and I'll help you
with the water.
Gilligan!
Gilligan,
the professor
said
that you really
didn't want her.
I'll pay $50
a week for her.
No, no.
We'll give 100.
125!
150!
You're
bidding
against me!
Oh, I'm sorry!
We'll pay 1,000!
Oh, uh,
Sunday off
every week!
Uh, 2 sundays off
a week!
She can have
her own room!
We'll give her
a suite of rooms!
Ginger: We'll
give her her own
television set!
Mrs. Howell: Color!
I'll take the job!
No, no, no!
Oh, kalani?
I am thurston
howell III,
one of
the richest men
in the world.
You will come
to work for us,
won't you,
darling?
I'm ginger Grant,
internationally
known actress.
I'm sure you'd
rather work for me.
Kalani not work
for anyone.
Only serve
my master.
Master not work.
Kalani do.
That's
ridiculous!
If master work,
kalani lose face.
But I need
the exercise.
Kalani exercise
for you.
Professor,
I just can't stand it.
She's working her fingers
to the bone,
and she won't
let me do anything.
I don't know what
to do about it.
Well, i--
every time I try
to do something,
she always gets there
ahead of me and does it.
She's gonna wear herself
to a frazzle,
and I just don't
know what to do.
Well--
she's doing
all the work here
on the island,
and I feel
very guilty about it,
and I don't know
what to do about it.
I mean--
gilligan,
if you just be quiet
for a moment,
I'll tell you
exactly what
you can do about it.
What?
Nothing.
Nothing?
Or--
or what?
Well, there is
one exception
to this ancient
matoba custom--
if someone
wins her from you
in mortal combat.
Well, why didn't
you say so?
Somebody can win her
from me in mortal combat.
That's great!
That's the greatest idea
I've ever heard of!
What's mortal combat?
A fight to
the death--yours.
Do you have
any other ideas?
'Fraid not.
Oh, there you are,
gilligan, my boy.
Sit down.
I certainly envy you
having your own slave.
I'd like to have one.
Scrubbing the back,
stroking the forehead.
Massaging
the little tootsies,
fluffing Teddy up
from time to time.
I'd sure like
to give her to you,
but the only way
is by mortal combat.
Mortal combat?
That means
somebody's
got to kill me--
yes, I know
what that means.
Gilligan, my boy,
I have
a little proposition
to make to you.
Well, gilligan,
Mr. Howell's
partner
must have been
a bigger man
than you.
Yeah, well,
like they say,
the way to
a man's stomach
is through his heart.
Yes. Now,
you are sure
you know
what you're
supposed to do?
Sure. Mr. Howell
pretends to kill me,
and then she ends up
being his slave.
Be careful
with that thing,
it could be
dangerous!
No, it isn't.
Mr. Howell says
there isn't any way
to hurt anybody.
En garde!
[Ripping]
Fee fi fo fum!
I smell the blood
of gilligan! En garde!
En garde!
Gilligan!
En garde!
En garde! The prize
shall be the fair kalani.
Ow!
Foul! Blow was delivered
in illegal territory.
En garde!
La porte,
le crayon,
la plume,
la grand-mère!
[Murmuring in French]
Now for the finale.
Make it look good.
Aah!
Ugh!
Skewered him!
Die already,
will you?
Remove the debris.
Merci!
Grab his legs,
skipper.
[Humming]
Master.
Mmm, how sweet it is!
Ok, gilligan,
you can open
your eyes now.
Arise, my slave.
Kalani.
Who he?
That ugundi.
He saw fight.
Probably wants
to congratulate me
on my brilliant victory.
[Ugundi speaking
native language]
Yes, well,
convey my thanks
for his very good
wishes.
Why, he's not
congratulating you,
Mr. Howell.
Ugundi wants kalani,
and he's challenging you
to another fight.
Another fight?
With him.
With him?
To the death.
[Gasps]
Tell him I don't
want to fight.
He won't
believe it.
Well, tell him
I'm too rich to die.
Tell him
he can have kalani.
Mr. Howell,
it's not that simple.
The matoba are
a primitive people,
and in order
not to lose face
with his tribesmen,
ugundi's gonna have
to fight to take her.
But there's no honor
in fighting me.
I'm too easy
to kill.
Alright,
I'll try.
Uh, ugundi...
[Speaking
native language]
[Speaking
native language]
What'd he say?
Good.
You name time
when we fight.
Well, um, um,
how about, eh...
20 years from--
from right now,
hmm?
Ugundi not wait.
Kill now!
Ugundi!
Gilligan
not hurt.
He still master.
You master
of kalani?
I guess so.
No, no,
I am.
Yeah,
he is.
No, I am.
Yeah, he is!
N-N-No,
they are!
Yup! They are,
they are.
[Speaks
native language]
Who is master?
Gilligan
is master.
He good
to kalani.
Thanks
a lot.
Ugundi fight you
for kalani.
Sun high in sky.
Ugundi go away
till sun go down.
You know what happen
when sun go down?
Gilligan go down.
There,
there, dear.
What a harrowing
experience.
Yes,
it was terrible.
I haven't
been so scared
since dad took
the practice wheels
off my bicycle.
Aw. If it's going
to be too much trouble,
we'll get on
without a maid.
Forget
about the maid.
That monstrous
native is gonna
kill gilligan!
You never
told me that!
No. I was too scared
to think about it.
Oh, there,
there, dear.
Yeah, I have you
and Teddy.
Yes.
I'm not scared
anymore.
Now you
be brave, yes.
What would happen
if we didn't let
gilligan fight?
In that case,
ugundi's tribe
would attack,
and we'd all
have to fight.
Yes, well, certainly
we just can't
stand around
and watch gilligan
get killed by ugundi.
I agree with you,
skipper.
There are some things
worth fighting for
no matter what the cost.
And one of them
is gilligan.
That's exactly
how I feel.
Alright, then,
it's settled.
We've lived here
together,
and if necessary,
we'll die together.
Right.
I can't
let you
do that!
Gilligan, have you
been listening
to all of this?
If ugundi kills me,
he kills me.
I can't let
the rest of you die.
Gilligan,
that's very noble.
It's
the bravest
thing
I've
ever heard.
Oh, gilligan,
you're a hero!
Well, if i'm
so brave and noble
and I'm a hero,
how come
I'm so scared?
Little buddy,
that's
wonderful.
Hey, skipper.
Maybe if I kill myself
before ugundi does,
it won't hurt
so much.
Gilligan,
that's it!
What's it?
What you
just said!
What'd I say?
About killing yourself!
That's a great idea,
and I'm going
to help you do it!
Huh?!
I was certain
I had seen this
strychnosfera plant.
You know,
the amazonian Indians
use the bark
from this plant
to make curare.
Curare?
Well, isn't that
a deadly poison?
Yes, and once
in the bloodstream,
it paralyzes the muscles.
It even stops the victim
from breathing.
That's great,
but how are
you going
to get ugundi
to take it?
Uh-uh! Not ugundi.
You're going
to take it.
Oh, well,
that's diff--
me?
Yes. Now as I said,
it paralyzes
the muscles,
but when
carefully administered,
it makes the person
appear dead,
even though
he's very much alive.
Now ugundi
will see gilligan dead.
He will take kalani
and leave the island.
Yeah! Oh, boy,
professor,
you've sure got
a head on
your shoulders.
Yeah, and that way
I can keep my head
on my shoulders.
Yes!
How long is this
going to take,
professor?
We've only got
an hour and a half left.
Just a little while.
I must get
the exact strength.
Well, now you're sure
that this is going to be
potent enough
to kill gilligan?
Professor:
Oh, yes. He
will be very dead.
I gotta hand it
to you, professor,
you're a real genius.
When ugundi sees
that gilligan is kaput,
he'll take kalani
and leave the island.
Professor:
And we'll
all be safe.
Now in
a few moments,
I'll have enough
poison curare
to do the job,
then we'll
get gilligan.
Those fiends!
If I hadn't heard it
with my delicate
pink ears,
I wouldn't have
believed it!
Oh, I never thought
the captain
and the professor
would do a thing
like that.
They're trying to save
their own skins.
Let's go find gilligan
and protect him
from his friends.
Gilligan, we've got to
get you out of here.
Quick, quick,
quick, my boy!
No time to ask
questions. Hurry!
Hurry where?
Anywhere but here!
They're plotting
to kill you.
We haven't
got time
to waste.
They're
on their way.
Ugundi's already here?
Not that fiend,
the other
fiends!
Gilligan:
What other fiends?
Oh, the captain
and t-t-the professor.
But they're
not other--
look, you're--you're
wasting time, gilligan.
But you don't
understand,
Mr. Howell--
gilligan, my boy,
I hate to do this
to you,
but it's for
your own good.
Pow!
Lovey...I've struck
another man!
Oh, thurston,
isn't it wonderful?
You knocked him out!
But I bruised
my little pinkie!
Aw, there,
there, dear.
All he-men
are so masculine.
We've got
to hide him
before the murderers
arrive.
Let's take him
back to our hut.
That's a good idea.
We can hide him
in the safe.
We'll cover him
with $1,000 bills,
and they
will never know.
Professor:
It's perfect.
Now, I'll fill
this hypodermic
so I can administer
the poison
to gilligan.
How potent is it?
1/10 of one cc
should knock him out
for a hour.
Oh, I sure hope
it works.
I'm sure it will.
[Mr. Howell grunting]
Lovey, I'm afraid
I'm going to have
to rest.
My flab
is losing its tone.
Thurston!
Mr. Howell:
Those fiends!
Oh, you have
to protect him
from those
murderers.
Professor! They were here!
They killed gilligan!
Here they come, lovey.
What are we going to do?
Oh, you
knocked out
gilligan,
you can
take care
of them.
Of course you're right.
My dear, stand back.
Only fair
to warn you,
I was captain
of the boxing team
at vassar.
En garde!
When's it gonna
happen? Are you sure
you used enough?
I don't feel
a thing.
The drug should be
taking effect...
Right about now.
It's not working!
I don't feel a--
seeing
my little buddy
lying motionless
like that,
it kinda
gives me
the willies.
Are you sure
he's ok?
He's barely
breathing.
And there's
hardly any heartbeat.
No pulse! Good!
Good?
Yes, he's fine!
Oh, and not
a minute
too soon.
Here comes
ugundi.
[Speaking
native language]
What happened
to one you call
gilligan?
He's dead.
Sudden attack
of jungle fever.
So you can
take kalani a-and
leave the island.
Is trick!
You speak truth.
Gilligan now hunting
on island in sky.
He save kalani.
That make him
master of matoba girl.
We give him
matoba funeral.
B-B-But you
can't Bury him,
you just can't!
I mean--
ugundi:
We not Bury him.
That's good.
We burn.
Make fire!
Both: Burn?!
Think
it'll work?
It had better.
Is ginger ready?
Uh-huh.
Here they come.
Ugundi:
Make fire.
Wait!
We, too, have
a tribal custom
for saying farewell
to our warriors.
We must hold
sacred dance.
Sit. Sit.
[Playing slow tempo]
[Faster tempo]
How long before
gilligan revives?
About 25 minutes.
I hope ginger
has a lot of veils.
[Faster tempo]
[Speaking
native language]
Enough dance.
Wait!
No more wait.
[Sniffing]
Barbecue. Mmm.
What's going on here?
You're having a barbecue,
and you didn't invite me!
Because I'm the barbecue!
Ow! Ooh! Ooh! Ow!
Hot! Ow! Ow! Ow!
Ow! Whoa!
Gilligan
great fire god!
Kalani speak truth.
[All speaking
native language]
Gilligan is
great fire god!
Go, or he will put curse
on all of you!
Yell at them
or something.
[Yelling]
Alright, gilligan,
you can stop
the fake screaming now,
they're gone!
Who's faking,
who's faking?!
[All laughing]
Some fire god!
Gilligan,
you did it again!
Here, Mary Ann.
Oh, thanks,
gilligan,
I'm exhausted!
You saved
my life.
Oh, don't
say that!
Master!
* now this is a tale
of our castaways *
* they're here
for a long, long time *
* they'll have to make
the best of things *
* it's an uphill climb *
* the first mate
and his skipper, too *
* will do their very best *
* to make the others
comfortable *
* in their tropic island nest *
* no phone, no light *
* no motor cars,
not a single luxury *
* like Robinson crusoe *
* it's primitive as can be *
* so join us here
each week, my friends *
* you're sure to get a smile *
* from 7 stranded castaways *
* here on gilligan's isle *