Gilligan's Island (1964–1992): Season 2, Episode 32 - Meet the Meteor - full transcript

♪ just sit right back ♪

♪ and you'll hear a tale ♪

♪ a tale of a fateful trip ♪

♪ that started
from this tropic port ♪

♪ aboard this tiny ship ♪

♪ the mate was
a mighty sailin' man ♪

♪ the skipper
brave and sure ♪

♪ 5 passengers set sail
that day ♪

♪ for a 3-hour tour ♪

♪ a 3-hour tour ♪

♪ the weather
started getting rough ♪



♪ the tiny ship was tossed ♪

♪ if not for the courage
of the fearless crew ♪

♪ the minnow would be lost ♪

♪ the minnow would be lost ♪

♪ the ship's aground
on the shore of this ♪

♪ uncharted desert isle ♪

♪ with gilligan ♪

♪ the skipper, too ♪

♪ the millionaire ♪

♪ and his wife ♪

♪ the movie star ♪

♪ the professor and Mary Ann ♪

♪ here on gilligan's isle ♪

Skipper!



Skipper.

Skipper.

Skipper. Skipper.

Ugh!

Gilligan, is this your idea
of some kind of a joke?

Look, a falling star!

Gilligan, it's daytime.
That's impossible.

Would you believe
a falling moon?

No, I wouldn't believe
a falling moon.

What would you believe?

I--i believe
it's gonna hit the island!

Skipper, what do you
think it is?

I don't know, gilligan,
but we'd better go see.

Look, gilligan, look!

What a crazy care package.

Looks like something
from outer space.

I believe it! No wonder.

After all the stuff
we shot up there,
they finally shot back.

I don't mean a weapon,
gilligan. I mean, it's--

it's a piece of meteor.

Oh, no!

A piece of meteor?
A meteor?

Yes, a meteor.

What's a meteor?

Oh, brother.

Come on, let's
take a closer look.

Hey, skipper, I don't think
we should go too close.

Looks kinda spooky.

Gilligan,
let me explain.

A piece of meteor
is something

off a star
or a planet
or something,

and it breaks off
every now and then
and falls to earth.

- Oh.
- Don't go near that!

It talked.

Skipper! Gilligan!

It knows our names.

It's the professor.

Doesn't look like
the professor.

Get away from there!

I wonder what
he's worried about.

Fast!

Let's go find out.
Fast!

What's wrong, professor?

That large,
glowing object.

It's a meteor. It's
like a little piece

of star or planet,
breaks off--

alright, gilligan.
The professor knows
all about that.

Gentlemen,
on the one hand,

there may be nothing
to worry about.

Good.
But on the other
hand--

I knew it. It's
always the other hand
that gets in trouble.

Gilligan, would you be quiet
and let the professor talk?

These meteors travel
millions of miles
through space,

through
the stratosphere,
the ionosphere,

the radiation belt,
picking up

all sorts
of strange rays.

That's why
it's glowing.

Oh, my gosh.

W-What are we
gonna do about it?

I have a suggestion.

Oh, what?

This simple form
of geiger counter

will be able to tell us
whether that meteor
is radioactive.

Oh, professor, if it is,
it's absolutely deadly.

Now, just try
to be calm.

When I put this
fallout meter together,

we'll make
a radiation count,

and that way we'll
definitely know

whether there's
cause for alarm.

Gilligan!

My alarm
just went off.
Oh, cut that out!

Gilligan, there is
great need for secrecy.

Ginger, Mary Ann,
and the howells

mustn't know
anything about this.

That's a good idea,
professor.

I'll help you
put this together.

Gilligan?
Yes, sir?

I--i want you
to stand guard
outside the hut

and let nobody know
what we're doing.

That's easy because
I don't even know
what we're doing.

By the way,
what are we doing?

Gilligan, outside!

Hold this.

Gilligan, what are you
supposed to be?

I can't tell you.

What can't you tell me?

Ask me what the skipper
and the professor
are doing in there.

Alright.
What are the skipper

and the professor
doing in there?

That's what
I can't tell you.

Oh, gilligan.
Come on.

You can tell ginger.

You might not want
to run your fingers
through my hair.

You'll probably
end up with a palmful
of greasy kid stuff.

Why can't you tell me?

My lips are sealed.

There. Did that
steam them open?

No, it's a surprise.

Surprise?

My birthday.

A surprise
birthday party!

A surprise birthday party?

Oh, you admitted it!

Well, gee,
I didn't think
anybody would remember.

Don't tell anybody
that I know!

Ok.

Gilligan!

Why did you do that?

I just wanted
to tell you
something.

Gilligan, will you
please get out of here?

Ginger wanted
to know what was
happening in here,

but I didn't
tell her, but she
thinks she knows--

gilligan!
Gilligan, out!

Ok, you don't have
to be sore about it.

Hi, gilligan.

Who goes there--
friend or foe?

It's me, Mary Ann.

Mary Ann who?

Well, how many
Mary Ann's do you know?

Let me see, I know
Mary Ann finglemeyer.

Mary Ann grumschmidt.
Mary Ann dinglehopper.

Oh, gilligan, stop that.
I've gotta get in the supply hut

and get
some clothespins
for the clothes.

Oh, no. No,
you can't go in there.

Don't you remember? This is
wear your dirty shirt week.

Oh, there's something
in there you don't
want me to see.

Honest, Mary Ann,
I can't tell anyone.

Uh-huh, and if you
can't tell anyone,

it must be something
for everybody.

Yeah, it's something
for everybody, alright.

A Christmas party!

They've hidden
the presents
in there!

They have?
Oh, boy!

No, wait a minute,
Mary Ann--

oh, gilligan,
you just can't
keep a secret.

Hi!

I didn't tap you
on the shoulder
that time.

Gilligan, I have
a good idea for you.

The next time that you have
an urge to come in here,

conquer it!

Out!

Now let's try it again,
professor.

Hello there, gilligan.

Halt! Back up
and be recognized!

Recognized?
Don't be silly.

We're
Mr. and Mrs. Howell.

You've met us
dozens of times.

Stand aside,
young man.

We want to get
our sun umbrella.

I'm sorry. No one's
allowed in there.

I'll have you know
that you're speaking
to a howell!

I'm sorry. Howells aren't
allowed in there, either.

Thurston, I think
I'm going to have one
of my fainting spells.

No, no, lovey.
Let me handle this.

Young man, I'll
have you know that

the howells are greeted
with open arms

at Buckingham Palace,
the white house,

and the kremlin,
which I must point out
is easy to get into

but murder
to get out of.

I'm sorry. No one's
allowed in the supply hut.

Oh, but I must
get my parasol.

This tropical sun
plays havoc

with delicate complexions.

You're so right,
and it isn't good

for your skin,
either.

I'll tell you this.

The skipper
and the professor
are working on a secret.

I just adore secrets!

I love to hear them,
and I love to tell them.

Well, I'd love to tell you,
but I can't.

Oh, and it doesn't matter
because I know anyway.

Egad! You're
so right, lovey!

And besides that...

Yes, which
can only mean...

An anniversary party?

I'm going to break out
my best bottle
of bubbly.

Oh, it's going
to be marvelous.

I know everyone
will be there.

Oh, darling,
darling ginger,

we have the most
wonderful secret
to tell you.

It's about the party.

Oh, gilligan, you promised you
weren't going to tell anyone.

Well, don't worry
about the expense
of the gifts.

After all,
it's the spirit,
my dear, that counts.

Gifts? Why should
I bring a gift

to my own
birthday party?

Gilligan, what is
the meaning of this?

I'm kinda
confused myself.

Please stop fighting.

We're preparing for
the Christmas party.

Christmas party? You mean
birthday party.

Anniversary party.

Young man,
what have you got
to say for yourself?

Just one thing.
What?

Help!

Aren't we close enough,
professor?

Skipper, you just
write down the figures
as I call them out.

Ok, but talk fast.

Alright.

10 over 16.

9 over 17.

10 over 18.

So you see, gilligan,

there was no radiation
near the meteor at all.

Oh, boy!

However there were
cosmic rays.
Oh, boy.

Which aren't as deadly
as interstellar radiation.

Oh, boy!

However, they can
kill you.
Oh, boy.

Gilligan, can't you say
anything but "oh, boy"?

I could say "oh, girl,"
but I don't think
it'd sound right.

Oh, please,
keep digging. Now,
for goodness sakes,

the professor's
got a way of using
these cosmic rays,

and I think
he's gonna get us
off the island, right?

This reflective screen
I'm making will focus
those cosmic rays

and shoot them
straight up into the air.

A weather plane
or a radiation
detection station

is bound to spot them,
investigate,

and we'll be rescued!

Oh, boy!
Skipper.

Yeah, w-well,
a skipper's allowed.

You haven't told me
why I'm digging for lead.

Why, to protect ourselves
from the cosmic rays

when we put this screen
around the meteor.

That's right. You see,
we're gonna melt it all down

and dip our clothes
into it,

and then they'll
be full of lead.

How about that?
Instead of getting
the lead out,

we're getting the lead in.

Yes, gilligan. Dig!

Hurry it up, gilligan.
If this lead gets cold,

it won't stick to the cloth.

This is the last one.

I'm gonna need
more of that lead.

Well, there's plenty
over there, professor.

Oh, this thing's
really gonna
hold a press.

Let the rest of it cool.
We may need it later.

Hey, skipper,
give me a hand
with this.

It's awful heavy.

Alright. Have you
got this, professor?

I have it.

Let's put it over there
with the other things.

We'd better start
getting into our things.

Shoes first.

Hey, gilligan,

how'd you get
your pants on?

Stand me up
and I'll tell you.

Whoo. You fall down,
you break your pants.

Yeah, well,
be careful, too.

You might
break your neck.

Professor,
how're you gonna
walk in these things?

Well, lead
is a soft metal.

It'll loosen up
as you move around a bit.

By the way,
how did you get into them?

Oh, you take the pants,
lay 'em down there,

and then you kinda
sit down, kinda--

slide in!

I'm afraid it's rather
difficult to walk.

This lead makeup sure
feels funny, professor.

Well, we needed
to protect our faces
from the cosmic rays.

I feel like Frankenstein.

Come back here,
gilligan!

Cut that out!

We'd better move on.
We're almost there.

Oh, I hope so.
These suits are
sure uncomfortable.

But I bet
they wear like iron.

Come on, gilligan!

Why, it's wonderful.

It's wonderful!

The count has dropped
almost to zero!

You mean
it might work?

I think so.

I'd better go
tell the others.

Gilligan!

Skipper.

Give me a hand.

Gilligan.

Wait, wait, wait!

There's something funny
going on back there.

Oh, well we could use
some laughs, professor.
Let's go back.

No, no, no.
I don't mean
funny funny.

I mean
funny strange.

Come on.

Professor, what happened
to the bamboo screen?

Why, I'm afraid
to even guess.

I just noticed
something.

Look at this tree!

Gilligan,
it's just a tree.

Yeah, but a few
minutes ago,

it was only
4 feet tall.

What do you mean
a few minutes ago
it was only 4 feet tall?

Gilligan,
for goodness--

no, no, skipper.
He's right.

I remember
that tree.

He tripped
over it.

This is the tree
that he tripped--

oh, well, professor,
what does it mean?

Well, it means
we've got to get
rid of that meteor

before it gets
rid of us.

Gets rid of us?

Gilligan,
those cosmic rays
are so powerful

that they aged
that bamboo screen

into sawdust in just
a few minutes.

Oh--and that tree?

A little while ago
that tree was a sapling.

It's now fully grown
and will die of old age
within a week!

You mean to say
that the cosmic rays

that this meteor puts out
makes things grow older?

Yes, they speed up
the life process at
an incredible rate.

You've made me feel older
since you've been talking.

W-W-Well, w-what
about the plants

and the trees
and the bamboo...

And the people?

Uh, I'm afraid
that within a week,

we shall all
die of old age.

However, the others
don't know

about this, so let's
not tell them.

I only have
one thing to say.

What's that?

Why'd you
have to tell me?

Why? Why did you
have to tell me?

Why? Why did you
have to tell me?

Why'd you have
to tell me?

Alright, gilligan!

Professor, this
is the worst spot
we've ever been in.

Can't you think
of something?

I--i am thinking.

Can you think faster?

Are you thinking faster?

Skipper, I am thinking
as fast as I can.

Well,
it's not fast enough!

You know, I know a way
I could think faster.

How?

If you'd stop telling me
to think faster.

Gilligan,
this is no time
to be listening

to the radio.
Now turn that
music off!

Why? After next week,
we won't have time
to listen to anything.

We interrupt
this program

for a special
weather bulletin.

Gilligan, will you
turn that radio off?
You heard me.

No, no, no.
Leave it on a minute.

The storm
that was due to hit
Hawaii this morning

has passed to the south
and is traveling

in an easterly
direction.

It's an electrical storm
of such intensity

that it has been
lighting up skies
for miles around.

All airlines and ships
have been rerouted.

Oh, great.
That's all we
need is a storm.

Well, it's not just
a storm, skipper.

It's an electrical storm.

You've seen one storm,
you've seen them all.

No, but this one
may save us.

This storm
can save us?

Well, that
meteor out there

is making us
grow older
every minute.

Now listen, skipper.

Meteorites are composed
of metals.

They're made of metals--
iron compounds.

Now if that storm
should pass over the island,

it might just possibly
destroy it.

Oh, come on.

A storm destroy
that meteorite?

Good question.

Thanks, gilligan.

Alright,
now listen to me.

We make a lightning rod,

we attach it
to the meteorite,

and if just
one bolt hits it--

oh, professor.

You mean a bolt of
lightning strike--

what are the odds
on that?

Well, a million to one.

Oh, fine.
A million to one.

What could be
worse than that?

A million to none.

Exactly!

At least it gives us
a possibility.

I mean, that's
better than nothing.

Yeah. I'll go tell
the others the good news.

No, wait a minute.
How can you tell
them the good news

when we haven't told
them the bad news yet?

I mean, that is,
unless of course you--

me? Why would I do
a thing like that?

Oh, ginger.

Do I look
any older to you?

No.

Do I look
any older to you?

No.

Oh, we're too young
to die of old age.

Wait a minute.

What if the professor
is wrong?

Hey, yeah.
What if he's wrong?

On the other hand,
what if he's right?

Come in.

Ginger, Mary Ann.
I've got some good news.

You have?
Good news?

Yeah. There's a big storm
coming this way,

and the professor
figured out a way
to destroy the meteorite.

Oh, gilligan,
I could kiss you!

Oh, so could I!

Yeah, a bolt
of lightning
has to hit it.

A bolt
of lightning...

Has to hit it?

Yeah. The professor's
gonna make a big, big,

long lightning rod
to make the odds better.

And exactly what
will that make the odds?

Million to one.

And you call
that good news?

Well, that's better
than the bad news.

Oh, gilligan.

You haven't
told the howells
about this, have you?

Me? Why would I do
a thing like that?

And being of sound mind,

I do hereby bequeath
to my nephew Perry

my favorite Polo pony,
sea biscuit,

and my set of set
of matched golf clubs,

wingfoot, hillcrest,
and pebble beach,

and the $1.42
his wife Frances owes me

I do hereby
negate in full.

Thurston, it makes me
very sad writing your will.

But, dear, we always
knew that one day
we'd have to go

to that great safety
deposit box in the sky.

Yes, but after all,

in the past we've
always gone first class.

Have you any regrets,
dear?

No, my dear.

No, no,
perhaps one.

That I won't live
to be 100 years old.

Oh, but you will,
dear.

You'll be that
on Saturday.

How much time do you
think we have left?

Well, gilligan said
about a week.

Oh. Only a week.

Oh, the professor'll
simply have to do something.

I can't go. I haven't
got a thing to wear!

Professor, shouldn't
a lightning rod

be made out of copper
or steel or something?

Yes. Obviously,

the better the conductor,
the better our chances,

but all we have to work
with is this lead.

This is the straightest,
longest bamboo pole

I could find, professor.

That's just fine,
gilligan.

Now put one end
into this pot
and keep turning it.

The lead'll gradually
harden on the pole.

Huh.
That's it.

Hey, I'm making
a leadsicle.

Well, there you are,
professor.

The lightning rod's
all finished.

Well, just put it down.
Let it cool and harden.

We'll finish the work
in the hut.

Alright.

Oh, should I wake up
gilligan?

No, he's exhausted.
Just let him stay there.

Cosmic rays
are speeding up
the life cycle,

making everything older.

By the end of the week,
we'll be 50 years older.

Soon we'll all be
50 years older.

50 years older.

50 years older.

50 years older.

Better hurry up,
skippy.

You're gonna be late
for the party tonight.

Well, don't just
stand there, gilligan.

Come over and help me.

Well, hurry it up.

I'm running.

Ungh!

Pull, gilligan.

Thanks,
little buddy.
Heh heh heh.

Well, it's
hard to realize

this 50th
anniversary
on this island.

50 years.

One good thing about it--

we know everybody
at the party.

Heh heh heh heh.

Well, hand me my cane,
gilligan.

Either that cane's
getting heavier,

or I'm getting older.

Well, naturally, gilligan.

You're getting older,

so the cane
isgetting heavier.

Thank you.

Shall we start going?

Lovey, my dear,

help me with my tie,
will you?

Oh, yes, of course,
thurston.

Come over here.

Thank heavens
it's downhill.

There you go, my dear.

Oh, where's your
bow tie, thurston?

This is my bow tie.

It's worn out
through the years.

Erosion, you know.

Dear, did you hear
all that crackling?

I'm afraid they put
too much starch

in your shirt.

Oh, no,
that wasn't starch.

It was my arteries
hardening!

Noisy little sons of guns,
aren't they?

Oh, yes.

Thurston,
help me select
a piece of jewelry.

Alright, my dear.

I'll help you.

Oh, this one is just--
heavy one.

You'll never be able
to wear it, my dear.

Oh, nonsense,
thurston.

Diamonds are
never too heavy.

Put it on me,
please.

There you are.

I'll put it on you,
my dear.

Oh, it must be
terribly uncomfortable.

Oh, on the contrary,

it's a delightful way
to get the bends.

Come along, dear.

Tell the truth,

I feel more comfortable
that way myself.

Let me get
my little hatty.

And away we go!

Out on the town!

Oh, cab!

Here, zip me up.

Alright.

Oh, I can't.

What's the matter?

I haven't got enough
zip left in my zipper.

Use both your hands.

Alright.

There.

Mary Ann, do you
think that anyone

will recognize this dress
from last year,

or the year before,

or the year before,

or the year before?

Oh, yes, I know.

You don't
have to go over
the last 50 years.

50 years? Please!

It's not a day over 30.

Oh, I forgot.

We started
subtracting
10 years ago.

Yo ho! Yo ho!

Are you ladies dressed?

Oh, i--i thought
the skipper and gilligan

were coming to call for us.

Well, it was too far
for them to walk.

Why, you ladies
certainly look

as beautiful
as ever tonight.

Professor,

I bet you say that
to all the girls.

Mary Ann,
we are all the girls.

Well,
if you're ready,

let's go
to the party.

I'm ready.

I'm ready, too.

Alright,
if each one of you
will take an arm,

I think that I'll
be able to make it.

I'd like to--
quiet! Ooh!

Quiet! I'd like
to propose a toast

to our 50th anniversary.

30th!

Anyone for 25?

25!

I won't argue the point.
I'm a gentleman,

but it's--it's 50
that we've been here.

Alright now, here's
a toast to the island.

I raise my cup of grog.

Though life
hasn't been easy here,

at least we've been
out of the smog.

Ha ha ha!

Oh, thurston, you haven't
lost your touch.

Oh, let's have
some music.

Yeah, let's dance.

Come on, ginger.
Let's dance!

Come on,
professor, move!

Get up here, girly.

Round in a bit of a twirl.

We interrupt
this program

for a special
weather bulletin.

The storm is about
to hit this area

at any moment.

See?

And it looks like
a real fish-wiper.

The storm is here!

Lightning rod...

Got to get it
into the meteor!

Help!

Something's happening
to my little buddy!

Little buddy,
are you alright?

Yeah, I'm ok, but I lost
the lightning rod!

It flew
out of my hands,

and I don't know
where it went!

Look!
Look at the meteor!

Gilligan,

the meteor disintegrated!

Not only that, it broke
into a million pieces!

Yes!

Well, I just told
the others the good news.

Not a trace of cosmic rays!

Well, that's wonderful,
professor!

That's the best news
I ever heard.

Gilligan, you've been
looking at that mirror

for the last 10 minutes!

I know.

I don't think
I look bad

for a man of 72.

♪ they're here
for a long, long time ♪

♪ they'll have to make ♪

♪ the best of things ♪

♪ it's an uphill climb ♪

♪ the first mate
and his skipper, too ♪

♪ will do their very best ♪

♪ to make
the others comfortable ♪

♪ in their
tropic island nest ♪

♪ no phone ♪
♪ no lights ♪

♪ no motor cars,
not a single luxury ♪

♪ like Robinson crusoe ♪

♪ it's primitive as can be ♪

♪ so join us here each week,
my friends ♪

♪ you're sure
to get a smile ♪

♪ from 7 stranded
castaways ♪

♪ here on gilligan's isle ♪