Gilligan's Island (1964–1992): Season 2, Episode 3 - The Little Dictator - full transcript
A Latin American dictator is exiled to the island.
♪ just sit right back,
and you'll hear a tale ♪
♪ a tale of a fateful trip ♪
♪ that started
from this tropic port ♪
♪ aboard this tiny ship ♪
♪ the mate was
a mighty sailin' man ♪
♪ the skipper brave and sure ♪
♪ 5 passengers set sail that day
for a 3-hour tour ♪
♪ a 3-hour tour ♪
[thunder rumbling]
♪ the weather started
getting rough ♪
♪ the tiny ship was tossed ♪
♪ if not for the courage
of the fearless crew ♪
♪ the minnow would be lost,
the minnow would be lost ♪
♪ the ship set ground
on the shore of this ♪
♪ uncharted desert isle ♪
♪ with gilligan ♪
♪ the skipper, too ♪
♪ the millionaire and his wife ♪
♪ the movie star ♪
♪ the professor and Mary Ann ♪
♪ here on gilligan's isle ♪
[Indistinctive chattering]
Y la pistola!
La pistola!
[Laughing]
[Shouting in foreign language]
La pistola!
La pistola...
Donde esta la pis...
Who are you?
I am pancho hernando
Gonzalez enriques Rodriguez,
ex-presidente
de la republica
de equarico.
And i'm
George Washington,
ex-president of
the United States.
Ah! You have been
exiled, too!
Get your hands up
and tell me
the truth.
Who are you?
I am telling you the truth.
Until yesterday, I am president
of the republic of equarico.
Today...ex-president.
A real live president?
Oh, I'm real pleased
to meet you.
Pleased to meet you.
Now you get your
hands up, George!
I was kidding about
being George Washington.
I'm gilligan.
What is in that basket,
food?
Yeah, berries.
You want some?
Keep your hands up
and drop the basket.
No, hands up!
Drop the basket.
You eat first.
I just had
breakfast.
Eat!
Enough!
You don't feel sick?
No.
Eh...a little dizzy?
No.
Eh...maybe woozy
in the stomach?
No.
No?
Ok.
Now I eat.
I suppose now you want me
to take you to my leader, right?
Wrong. In my country
there's a saying...
"He who has gun
is the leader."
March and take
my bag with you.
Hand up.
[Instrumental music]
[Gunshot]
Was that a gunshot,
gilligan--
who are you?
Heavens,
the gestapo!
That was only
the first
bullet.
There are 5
little brothers
in there
waiting
their turn.
Drop that gun.
We've got you covered!
You drop your weapons
and come out with
your hands up!
Oh...i don't understand it.
It always used to work
in the movies.
Ay, chihuahua!
It's a good view
from there, George.
George?
He thinks
I'm Washington.
Magnifico. Almost twice
as big as my country
equarico.
What is the name
of this place?
Well, we haven't
had an official
ceremony.
Howell hills
has been
suggested.
Oh! Who call it that?
Well, me! Me!
I have another suggestion.
I suggest we call it
equarico west!
Equarico west?
Si. I have always
had a dream to be
the father of a country.
My father was the father
of a country.
My brothers were
the father of their country.
Even my mother
was the father
of a country.
He thinks
he's conquered us.
A radical!
Why, i--
silencio!
Show a little more respect
for your provisional
presidente!
President?
President?
Yes! Until it is
safe to hold free,
Democratic elections.
And when will
that be?
You should live so long.
[Complaining]
There goes
brother number 2.
Do I hear a cheer for
your new presidente?
Hip hip...
All, weakly: Hooray?
Eh.
Mr. Thurston howell III.
How are you?
Please be seated.
Oh, thank you.
Thank you.
George here
tells me
that you are
well-acquainted
with money.
Well, shall we say
that money and I
are on a first-name
basis?
Good. Our country
needs a strong
economy!
That is why I appoint you
as secretary of my treasury.
What treasury?
That is your first
assignment.
Well, you see, to have
a monetary system,
a country must first possess
certain rare precious
metals--
in my country
all you need
is printing press
and paper.
Well, I'm afraid
we don't have
either of those.
But we do have
tree bark and my
signature.
[Laughs] Tree bark
and your signature?
Preposterous!
Suddenly it's very
posterous!
But don't overdo it.
We want to stay
underdeveloped
enough
so we can get
an American loan.
Next!
Mrs. Thurston howell
III.
Your excellency--
oh...thank you.
Gentlemen...are we
going to submit
or subvert?
I vote
for subversion.
May the Harvard club
have mercy
on my soul.
Howell!
Where do we begin?
With his gun.
He's already
fired 2 shots,
which means he has
only 4 bullets left.
Then all we have to do
is jump him,
take his gun away from him.
Yes, but someone might get hurt!
Alright. We'll use that
only as a last resort.
That'll be plan "b".
Now, plan "a".
Somehow, we've
got to get him
to fire off
those last 4 shots.
Oh!
Oh!
Superb shot,
Rodriguez!
It was marvelous!
Es El presidente.
Oh, yes, yes.
Mr. President,
I'll bet you a stack
full of tree bark
that you can't hit
that little coral shell
right over there
with the gun.
I cannot hit the shell?
That's right.
You can't hit it.
Watch.
Hey...
You think
that Rodriguez
es muy estupido? Huh?
Huh?
You already see with one shot
that I'm a crack
sharpshooter.
Oh, of course!
We know that.
Now remember,
you're peasants!
Your presidente
will not take any more
of your hanky panky!
Oh, senor presidente.
You are so talented.
You know...
I got goosebumps
all over
just watching
your masterful
marksmanship.
And you like the way
Rodriguez shoots?
Oh, si.
Si, si, si,
si, si!
Oh...
Senorita, Rodriguez
can do many things.
I bet
you can.
You should see me
dive for coins.
Oh...you know,
if I could learn
to shoot like you,
I would have had
the lead
in standing cow,
daughter of
sitting bull.
There is nothing
to it.
Oh, I couldn't learn.
Not in a million
years.
I will teach you
right now.
You will?
Si, si.
Oh, please do.
Si...
Ah...
I will give you
a target. Wait.
Oh.
How was that?
Carumba! Not yet!
Let me try it
again.
No! Stop!
End of lesson!
And end of plan "a".
Whatever
do you mean,
end of plan "a"?
You don't fool Rodriguez!
I have been through
plan "a" too many times!
Oh, forget about
plan "b"!
You mean,
you know about
plan "b"?
My dear...
You cannot have
a revolution
without plan "b".
I will explain it to you.
You take 2--
hey, who do you
think you are?
Now remember, gilligan,
the skipper
can't see the doorway
from over there.
You understand?
So, now wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
I'll call Rodriguez out
and get him to stand
over there.
Then you signal
the skipper.
Yeah. Take off my hat
and wave it like this--
not yet, not yet!
They'll capture us!
Get over there
and get ready
to signal the skipper.
[Knock knock knock]
El presidente...
There's a--there's a--
there's a boat out here!
A boat!
[Buzzing]
[Knock knock
knock knock]
El presidente,
la boata in la oceano.
Outside. Yes, sir!
Out here!
[Buzzing]
A boat? For me?
Where?
I don't see no boat.
Who called me?
I think I hear somebody
say a boat.
Are you alright?
Yes, I'm alright,
gilligan.
Did we trap him?
Well, not exactly.
What do you mean,
not exactly?
Never mind. Here.
Hold on to this,
and I'll look
for myself.
[Indistinct chattering]
Hey, what you
doing there?
I just dropped by
to go fishing--
oh! Listen!
You stay here!
I stay here!
You stay there!
Oh!
Stay there!
Who did these
things?
Don't fool around
with me!
Alright, Georgie,
you hold on
to that rope,
because I'm gonna
fish you out like you
never been fished before!
Oh, please, you can't
shoot gilligan!
We were all part
of the scheme!
I demand
a trial by jury!
I'll get the most
expensive legal talent!
I may handle the case myself!
Perhaps Mr. Secretary
treasurer, you like to
go up there yourself?
I refuse to answer that
on grounds that it might
tend to--
[softly]
Incriminate me.
Senor presidente, he's
so young. He's just a boy.
A growing boy.
I wanna keep growing.
Oh, I can't
watch!
Don't I get a last meal
or something?
Alright!
What would you
like?!
Well, let's see...
Never mind!
Never mind!
It is time to teach
you all a lesson!
You can't shoot him
in cold blood!
I have very warm blood.
Ask the lady.
If you ask me,
you're a coward
like all
the dictators!
I don't ask you.
Get ready!
Get set...
All: No! No!
No, please!
Silencio!
Silencio!
Silencio!
Silencio!
You get me
all mixed up!
Now where I was?
Get ready.
Thank you.
Get ready...
Get set...
[Click]
[Click]
It's alright, gilligan.
There were no shots.
You're sure?
He might have
used a silencer.
But what happened
to my last
2 bullets?
Oh, yes,
I remember!
In my old country,
in the last
communist meeting,
I used them! [Sobs]
Aw, poor fellow.
I hope he has money
in Switzerland.
Your
excellency...
I am ready.
Ready for what?
To be executed.
Oh, don't be
ridiculous.
Then you are going
to exile me, of course.
I never heard
such nonsense.
Then what will
become of me?
You will become a member
of our little community.
You mean become
one of the masses?
We don't like to think
of ourselves that way.
We're a free society,
and you will be free
to do or become
whatever you want.
Anything?
Mm-hmm.
Senora...
You have just
given me an idea.
You really think
I should be the leader
here on the island?
It's obvious.
[Skipper snoring]
Well, come to think
of it,
I was president
of the eighth grade
camera club.
You see? Even then
they recognized your
leadership abilities.
That's right.
Besides, I was the only
one who owned a camera.
Then you accept.
I don't know.
I had an awful lot
of trouble
staying in power
of that camera
club--
especially
if I broke the camera.
But your friends
need you to lean on.
You owe it to them
to protect them.
I don't know
if I could handle it.
If you have any problems,
my door will always
be open to you.
No, I don't think
I should do it.
[Tantrum sounds]
Alright!
Alright.
Forget that
they're your friends.
Let them down.
I couldn't do that.
Then think about it,
alright?
Sleep on it.
We will decide
tomorrow
in the morning.
Ok.
Sleep on it.
[Mumbling]
[Crowd cheers]
Good people,
this is your leader
talking.
[Cheering]
I would like
to promise you,
uh...
I'd like to promise
you, uh...
Just a second.
What should I
promise them?
Promise them dis, dat,
and the other ting.
I promise you dis,
dat, and the other ting.
[Cheering]
So everybody, go home,
kick off your shoes,
turn on the TV
and relax--
and that's an order!
[People cheering]
Be seated.
Before the cabinet
begins its
contemplation,
we have to pay
our respect
to the leader
of our country
and to our country.
Ladies, please
get the flag.
Everybody rise
and cheer the leader
of the country:
Viva...
All: Viva El presidente!
Viva...
El presidente!
Ahem.
[Blowing whistle]
♪ g-i-double-l-i ♪
♪ g-a-n spells gilligan ♪
♪ leader of
a mighty nation ♪
♪ idolized
by all the population ♪
♪ g-i-double-l-i ♪
♪ g-a-n, you see ♪
♪ he's the one
we adore ♪
♪ he will keep us
out of war ♪
♪ gilligan ♪
♪ that's me ♪
[whistles]
There's holes
in the flag.
Somebody
been throwing
stones at it?
Nonsense. Moths.
Alright,
put the flag
away,
and let's
get down
to business.
I'm glad you
noticed that.
There seems to be
a rising discontent
among the people.
They don't like
the way the country
is being run.
How come? I give 'em
dis, dat, and the other
ting, don't I?
Of course you do.
Don't listen to her.
The country
is in great shape!
Have you looked out
the window lately?
[Commotion]
Are you going
to believe your eyes
or me?
Go away, you!
Everybody, go away!
Are you going
to let him talk
to us that way?
We're your only
loyal subjects.
Wait a minute.
Everybody, I'll send
for you one by one.
Right now I'd like
to talk to the minister
of finance.
[Gasps]
Is this any way to dress
for an audience
with your leader?
Well, we're in the midst
of an economic recession.
Oh, do not believe him.
Did I not serve you
a chocolate eclair
for breakfast this morning?
Be that as it may,
someone is tampering
with the treasury.
If you just step
to the window,
I'll show you the economic state
of your so-called great society.
What does that prove?
Every country
has its low rent district.
Well, I've heard
of poverty, but
that is ridiculous!
Go!
And send in my
secretary of the Navy.
Yes, I'll pipe him
aboard.
Secretary of the Navy
reporting, sir.
It's lies,
all lies.
I haven't said
anything yet!
Then speak first,
then it's lies,
all lies.
How's my Navy holding up?
Since you brought it up,
sir, why don't you come
to the window
and see for yourself?
Again?
Propaganda!
Vicious propaganda!
Are you doing something
about that?
Yes, sir, we are.
We're teaching our
sailors how to swim.
Good.
The people on shore
are learning
mouth-to-mouth resuscitation
without becoming
emotionally involved.
How can you do
that?
It ain't easy.
Mr. President,
I can't wait any longer.
The country can't wait.
We're in grave danger.
Throw the imposter
out.
Yeah, throw
the impostor out.
I'm not an imposter.
I'm your
very own spy,
secret agent 0036.
Secret agent 0036?
Ho ho! 36!
I want you to know
that I've
uncovered plenty.
Can't argue with that,
can you?
She's in the pay
of the enemy.
You're sure you're not
a counter spy?
Mr. President,
I have nothing
to hide.
You can't argue
with that either.
If you can't trust
your very own spy,
who can you trust?
Yeah, who can I trust?
Me. And I say the country
is in great shape.
And I say it's in
terrible shape.
Take a look!
Not at me!
At the state
of the country!
Oh.
[Whooping and yelling]
That must be the window
facing the west.
Where is everybody?
Where is everybody?
They have been
taken care of,
along with the rest
of your cabinet.
What? Where's my
loyal subjects?
Where's my cabinet?
Where are you, my cabinet?
My loyal subjects,
where are you?
Where are you?!
Come back!
I need you!
Would you like
to join them?
What do you mean?
I'm the leader
of this country
and president of
the eighth grade
camera club!
You are not
a president.
You are nothing
but a puppet ruler!
Me? A puppet ruler?
I don't believe it!
I can make you do
anything I want!
Absolutely anything!
I can make you dance...
Hee hee hee!
I can make you sit
or kneel
or I can...
Take away your power
like this!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Rodriguez, I don't wanna
be your puppet!
Oh! Uh--
Rodriguez. Rodriguez.
Rodriguez...
I won't be your puppet!
I refuse to be your puppet!
Gilligan, what's the matter,
little buddy? Gilligan!
Rodriguez!
I won't be your puppet!
Rodriguez, I won't be
your puppet!
You do not have to,
George.
Oh, good.
Where you going?
Back to my own country.
Wait, Rodriguez,
wait!
Don't leave us
here!
A boat has come
to pick me up.
The loyalists
are in power again,
and I am again
a leader.
I will send
a ship for you,
my own, personal ship
from my own,
personal country!
We'll be waiting!
Adios, amigos!
Adios!
Adios!
I will see you soon!
We're gonna be
rescued, gilligan!
Bye!
[Yelling]
Adios, amigos!
Bye-bye! We're gonna
be rescued!
Yay, yay, yay!
Adios! Adios, amigos!
And since we will be
living
in a Spanish speaking
country until we return home,
I think it only proper
and good manners that we
know a little of the language.
Now, if you'll
repeat after me...
Buenos dias.
Good day.
Buenos dias. Good day.
Announcer: This is
Eddie Gallagher of wtop
in Washington, D.C.
Wait a minute,
wait a minute.
We interrupt our regular
broadcast for a special
announcement.
Following yesterday's
counter-revolution
in equarico,
a counter-counter revolution
again unseated
president Rodriguez.
This time his downfall
was attributed to insanity
since he insisted
that he had been dictator
of a deserted island
with people on it.
At last reports,
he was being parachuted
into permanent exile
on the highest peaks
atop the andes mountains.
A deserted island
with 7 people on it!
No wonder they--
all: Oh, no!
There goes
our rescue again!
I don't know how
this always works!
Could have saved us!
Alright.
Everybody repeat after me:
Repeat after me.
Buenas noches.
Goodnight!
♪ now this is a tale
of our castaways ♪
♪ they're here
for a long, long time ♪
♪ they'll have to make
the best of things ♪
♪ it's an uphill climb ♪
♪ the first mate
and his skipper, too ♪
♪ will do their very best ♪
♪ to make the others
comfortable ♪
♪ in their tropic island nest ♪
♪ no boat, no light ♪
♪ no motor cars,
not a single luxury ♪
♪ like Robinson crusoe ♪
♪ it's primitive as can be ♪
♪ so join us here
each week, my friends ♪
♪ you're sure to get a smile ♪
♪ from 7 stranded castaways ♪
♪ here on gilligan's isle ♪
and you'll hear a tale ♪
♪ a tale of a fateful trip ♪
♪ that started
from this tropic port ♪
♪ aboard this tiny ship ♪
♪ the mate was
a mighty sailin' man ♪
♪ the skipper brave and sure ♪
♪ 5 passengers set sail that day
for a 3-hour tour ♪
♪ a 3-hour tour ♪
[thunder rumbling]
♪ the weather started
getting rough ♪
♪ the tiny ship was tossed ♪
♪ if not for the courage
of the fearless crew ♪
♪ the minnow would be lost,
the minnow would be lost ♪
♪ the ship set ground
on the shore of this ♪
♪ uncharted desert isle ♪
♪ with gilligan ♪
♪ the skipper, too ♪
♪ the millionaire and his wife ♪
♪ the movie star ♪
♪ the professor and Mary Ann ♪
♪ here on gilligan's isle ♪
[Indistinctive chattering]
Y la pistola!
La pistola!
[Laughing]
[Shouting in foreign language]
La pistola!
La pistola...
Donde esta la pis...
Who are you?
I am pancho hernando
Gonzalez enriques Rodriguez,
ex-presidente
de la republica
de equarico.
And i'm
George Washington,
ex-president of
the United States.
Ah! You have been
exiled, too!
Get your hands up
and tell me
the truth.
Who are you?
I am telling you the truth.
Until yesterday, I am president
of the republic of equarico.
Today...ex-president.
A real live president?
Oh, I'm real pleased
to meet you.
Pleased to meet you.
Now you get your
hands up, George!
I was kidding about
being George Washington.
I'm gilligan.
What is in that basket,
food?
Yeah, berries.
You want some?
Keep your hands up
and drop the basket.
No, hands up!
Drop the basket.
You eat first.
I just had
breakfast.
Eat!
Enough!
You don't feel sick?
No.
Eh...a little dizzy?
No.
Eh...maybe woozy
in the stomach?
No.
No?
Ok.
Now I eat.
I suppose now you want me
to take you to my leader, right?
Wrong. In my country
there's a saying...
"He who has gun
is the leader."
March and take
my bag with you.
Hand up.
[Instrumental music]
[Gunshot]
Was that a gunshot,
gilligan--
who are you?
Heavens,
the gestapo!
That was only
the first
bullet.
There are 5
little brothers
in there
waiting
their turn.
Drop that gun.
We've got you covered!
You drop your weapons
and come out with
your hands up!
Oh...i don't understand it.
It always used to work
in the movies.
Ay, chihuahua!
It's a good view
from there, George.
George?
He thinks
I'm Washington.
Magnifico. Almost twice
as big as my country
equarico.
What is the name
of this place?
Well, we haven't
had an official
ceremony.
Howell hills
has been
suggested.
Oh! Who call it that?
Well, me! Me!
I have another suggestion.
I suggest we call it
equarico west!
Equarico west?
Si. I have always
had a dream to be
the father of a country.
My father was the father
of a country.
My brothers were
the father of their country.
Even my mother
was the father
of a country.
He thinks
he's conquered us.
A radical!
Why, i--
silencio!
Show a little more respect
for your provisional
presidente!
President?
President?
Yes! Until it is
safe to hold free,
Democratic elections.
And when will
that be?
You should live so long.
[Complaining]
There goes
brother number 2.
Do I hear a cheer for
your new presidente?
Hip hip...
All, weakly: Hooray?
Eh.
Mr. Thurston howell III.
How are you?
Please be seated.
Oh, thank you.
Thank you.
George here
tells me
that you are
well-acquainted
with money.
Well, shall we say
that money and I
are on a first-name
basis?
Good. Our country
needs a strong
economy!
That is why I appoint you
as secretary of my treasury.
What treasury?
That is your first
assignment.
Well, you see, to have
a monetary system,
a country must first possess
certain rare precious
metals--
in my country
all you need
is printing press
and paper.
Well, I'm afraid
we don't have
either of those.
But we do have
tree bark and my
signature.
[Laughs] Tree bark
and your signature?
Preposterous!
Suddenly it's very
posterous!
But don't overdo it.
We want to stay
underdeveloped
enough
so we can get
an American loan.
Next!
Mrs. Thurston howell
III.
Your excellency--
oh...thank you.
Gentlemen...are we
going to submit
or subvert?
I vote
for subversion.
May the Harvard club
have mercy
on my soul.
Howell!
Where do we begin?
With his gun.
He's already
fired 2 shots,
which means he has
only 4 bullets left.
Then all we have to do
is jump him,
take his gun away from him.
Yes, but someone might get hurt!
Alright. We'll use that
only as a last resort.
That'll be plan "b".
Now, plan "a".
Somehow, we've
got to get him
to fire off
those last 4 shots.
Oh!
Oh!
Superb shot,
Rodriguez!
It was marvelous!
Es El presidente.
Oh, yes, yes.
Mr. President,
I'll bet you a stack
full of tree bark
that you can't hit
that little coral shell
right over there
with the gun.
I cannot hit the shell?
That's right.
You can't hit it.
Watch.
Hey...
You think
that Rodriguez
es muy estupido? Huh?
Huh?
You already see with one shot
that I'm a crack
sharpshooter.
Oh, of course!
We know that.
Now remember,
you're peasants!
Your presidente
will not take any more
of your hanky panky!
Oh, senor presidente.
You are so talented.
You know...
I got goosebumps
all over
just watching
your masterful
marksmanship.
And you like the way
Rodriguez shoots?
Oh, si.
Si, si, si,
si, si!
Oh...
Senorita, Rodriguez
can do many things.
I bet
you can.
You should see me
dive for coins.
Oh...you know,
if I could learn
to shoot like you,
I would have had
the lead
in standing cow,
daughter of
sitting bull.
There is nothing
to it.
Oh, I couldn't learn.
Not in a million
years.
I will teach you
right now.
You will?
Si, si.
Oh, please do.
Si...
Ah...
I will give you
a target. Wait.
Oh.
How was that?
Carumba! Not yet!
Let me try it
again.
No! Stop!
End of lesson!
And end of plan "a".
Whatever
do you mean,
end of plan "a"?
You don't fool Rodriguez!
I have been through
plan "a" too many times!
Oh, forget about
plan "b"!
You mean,
you know about
plan "b"?
My dear...
You cannot have
a revolution
without plan "b".
I will explain it to you.
You take 2--
hey, who do you
think you are?
Now remember, gilligan,
the skipper
can't see the doorway
from over there.
You understand?
So, now wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
I'll call Rodriguez out
and get him to stand
over there.
Then you signal
the skipper.
Yeah. Take off my hat
and wave it like this--
not yet, not yet!
They'll capture us!
Get over there
and get ready
to signal the skipper.
[Knock knock knock]
El presidente...
There's a--there's a--
there's a boat out here!
A boat!
[Buzzing]
[Knock knock
knock knock]
El presidente,
la boata in la oceano.
Outside. Yes, sir!
Out here!
[Buzzing]
A boat? For me?
Where?
I don't see no boat.
Who called me?
I think I hear somebody
say a boat.
Are you alright?
Yes, I'm alright,
gilligan.
Did we trap him?
Well, not exactly.
What do you mean,
not exactly?
Never mind. Here.
Hold on to this,
and I'll look
for myself.
[Indistinct chattering]
Hey, what you
doing there?
I just dropped by
to go fishing--
oh! Listen!
You stay here!
I stay here!
You stay there!
Oh!
Stay there!
Who did these
things?
Don't fool around
with me!
Alright, Georgie,
you hold on
to that rope,
because I'm gonna
fish you out like you
never been fished before!
Oh, please, you can't
shoot gilligan!
We were all part
of the scheme!
I demand
a trial by jury!
I'll get the most
expensive legal talent!
I may handle the case myself!
Perhaps Mr. Secretary
treasurer, you like to
go up there yourself?
I refuse to answer that
on grounds that it might
tend to--
[softly]
Incriminate me.
Senor presidente, he's
so young. He's just a boy.
A growing boy.
I wanna keep growing.
Oh, I can't
watch!
Don't I get a last meal
or something?
Alright!
What would you
like?!
Well, let's see...
Never mind!
Never mind!
It is time to teach
you all a lesson!
You can't shoot him
in cold blood!
I have very warm blood.
Ask the lady.
If you ask me,
you're a coward
like all
the dictators!
I don't ask you.
Get ready!
Get set...
All: No! No!
No, please!
Silencio!
Silencio!
Silencio!
Silencio!
You get me
all mixed up!
Now where I was?
Get ready.
Thank you.
Get ready...
Get set...
[Click]
[Click]
It's alright, gilligan.
There were no shots.
You're sure?
He might have
used a silencer.
But what happened
to my last
2 bullets?
Oh, yes,
I remember!
In my old country,
in the last
communist meeting,
I used them! [Sobs]
Aw, poor fellow.
I hope he has money
in Switzerland.
Your
excellency...
I am ready.
Ready for what?
To be executed.
Oh, don't be
ridiculous.
Then you are going
to exile me, of course.
I never heard
such nonsense.
Then what will
become of me?
You will become a member
of our little community.
You mean become
one of the masses?
We don't like to think
of ourselves that way.
We're a free society,
and you will be free
to do or become
whatever you want.
Anything?
Mm-hmm.
Senora...
You have just
given me an idea.
You really think
I should be the leader
here on the island?
It's obvious.
[Skipper snoring]
Well, come to think
of it,
I was president
of the eighth grade
camera club.
You see? Even then
they recognized your
leadership abilities.
That's right.
Besides, I was the only
one who owned a camera.
Then you accept.
I don't know.
I had an awful lot
of trouble
staying in power
of that camera
club--
especially
if I broke the camera.
But your friends
need you to lean on.
You owe it to them
to protect them.
I don't know
if I could handle it.
If you have any problems,
my door will always
be open to you.
No, I don't think
I should do it.
[Tantrum sounds]
Alright!
Alright.
Forget that
they're your friends.
Let them down.
I couldn't do that.
Then think about it,
alright?
Sleep on it.
We will decide
tomorrow
in the morning.
Ok.
Sleep on it.
[Mumbling]
[Crowd cheers]
Good people,
this is your leader
talking.
[Cheering]
I would like
to promise you,
uh...
I'd like to promise
you, uh...
Just a second.
What should I
promise them?
Promise them dis, dat,
and the other ting.
I promise you dis,
dat, and the other ting.
[Cheering]
So everybody, go home,
kick off your shoes,
turn on the TV
and relax--
and that's an order!
[People cheering]
Be seated.
Before the cabinet
begins its
contemplation,
we have to pay
our respect
to the leader
of our country
and to our country.
Ladies, please
get the flag.
Everybody rise
and cheer the leader
of the country:
Viva...
All: Viva El presidente!
Viva...
El presidente!
Ahem.
[Blowing whistle]
♪ g-i-double-l-i ♪
♪ g-a-n spells gilligan ♪
♪ leader of
a mighty nation ♪
♪ idolized
by all the population ♪
♪ g-i-double-l-i ♪
♪ g-a-n, you see ♪
♪ he's the one
we adore ♪
♪ he will keep us
out of war ♪
♪ gilligan ♪
♪ that's me ♪
[whistles]
There's holes
in the flag.
Somebody
been throwing
stones at it?
Nonsense. Moths.
Alright,
put the flag
away,
and let's
get down
to business.
I'm glad you
noticed that.
There seems to be
a rising discontent
among the people.
They don't like
the way the country
is being run.
How come? I give 'em
dis, dat, and the other
ting, don't I?
Of course you do.
Don't listen to her.
The country
is in great shape!
Have you looked out
the window lately?
[Commotion]
Are you going
to believe your eyes
or me?
Go away, you!
Everybody, go away!
Are you going
to let him talk
to us that way?
We're your only
loyal subjects.
Wait a minute.
Everybody, I'll send
for you one by one.
Right now I'd like
to talk to the minister
of finance.
[Gasps]
Is this any way to dress
for an audience
with your leader?
Well, we're in the midst
of an economic recession.
Oh, do not believe him.
Did I not serve you
a chocolate eclair
for breakfast this morning?
Be that as it may,
someone is tampering
with the treasury.
If you just step
to the window,
I'll show you the economic state
of your so-called great society.
What does that prove?
Every country
has its low rent district.
Well, I've heard
of poverty, but
that is ridiculous!
Go!
And send in my
secretary of the Navy.
Yes, I'll pipe him
aboard.
Secretary of the Navy
reporting, sir.
It's lies,
all lies.
I haven't said
anything yet!
Then speak first,
then it's lies,
all lies.
How's my Navy holding up?
Since you brought it up,
sir, why don't you come
to the window
and see for yourself?
Again?
Propaganda!
Vicious propaganda!
Are you doing something
about that?
Yes, sir, we are.
We're teaching our
sailors how to swim.
Good.
The people on shore
are learning
mouth-to-mouth resuscitation
without becoming
emotionally involved.
How can you do
that?
It ain't easy.
Mr. President,
I can't wait any longer.
The country can't wait.
We're in grave danger.
Throw the imposter
out.
Yeah, throw
the impostor out.
I'm not an imposter.
I'm your
very own spy,
secret agent 0036.
Secret agent 0036?
Ho ho! 36!
I want you to know
that I've
uncovered plenty.
Can't argue with that,
can you?
She's in the pay
of the enemy.
You're sure you're not
a counter spy?
Mr. President,
I have nothing
to hide.
You can't argue
with that either.
If you can't trust
your very own spy,
who can you trust?
Yeah, who can I trust?
Me. And I say the country
is in great shape.
And I say it's in
terrible shape.
Take a look!
Not at me!
At the state
of the country!
Oh.
[Whooping and yelling]
That must be the window
facing the west.
Where is everybody?
Where is everybody?
They have been
taken care of,
along with the rest
of your cabinet.
What? Where's my
loyal subjects?
Where's my cabinet?
Where are you, my cabinet?
My loyal subjects,
where are you?
Where are you?!
Come back!
I need you!
Would you like
to join them?
What do you mean?
I'm the leader
of this country
and president of
the eighth grade
camera club!
You are not
a president.
You are nothing
but a puppet ruler!
Me? A puppet ruler?
I don't believe it!
I can make you do
anything I want!
Absolutely anything!
I can make you dance...
Hee hee hee!
I can make you sit
or kneel
or I can...
Take away your power
like this!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Rodriguez, I don't wanna
be your puppet!
Oh! Uh--
Rodriguez. Rodriguez.
Rodriguez...
I won't be your puppet!
I refuse to be your puppet!
Gilligan, what's the matter,
little buddy? Gilligan!
Rodriguez!
I won't be your puppet!
Rodriguez, I won't be
your puppet!
You do not have to,
George.
Oh, good.
Where you going?
Back to my own country.
Wait, Rodriguez,
wait!
Don't leave us
here!
A boat has come
to pick me up.
The loyalists
are in power again,
and I am again
a leader.
I will send
a ship for you,
my own, personal ship
from my own,
personal country!
We'll be waiting!
Adios, amigos!
Adios!
Adios!
I will see you soon!
We're gonna be
rescued, gilligan!
Bye!
[Yelling]
Adios, amigos!
Bye-bye! We're gonna
be rescued!
Yay, yay, yay!
Adios! Adios, amigos!
And since we will be
living
in a Spanish speaking
country until we return home,
I think it only proper
and good manners that we
know a little of the language.
Now, if you'll
repeat after me...
Buenos dias.
Good day.
Buenos dias. Good day.
Announcer: This is
Eddie Gallagher of wtop
in Washington, D.C.
Wait a minute,
wait a minute.
We interrupt our regular
broadcast for a special
announcement.
Following yesterday's
counter-revolution
in equarico,
a counter-counter revolution
again unseated
president Rodriguez.
This time his downfall
was attributed to insanity
since he insisted
that he had been dictator
of a deserted island
with people on it.
At last reports,
he was being parachuted
into permanent exile
on the highest peaks
atop the andes mountains.
A deserted island
with 7 people on it!
No wonder they--
all: Oh, no!
There goes
our rescue again!
I don't know how
this always works!
Could have saved us!
Alright.
Everybody repeat after me:
Repeat after me.
Buenas noches.
Goodnight!
♪ now this is a tale
of our castaways ♪
♪ they're here
for a long, long time ♪
♪ they'll have to make
the best of things ♪
♪ it's an uphill climb ♪
♪ the first mate
and his skipper, too ♪
♪ will do their very best ♪
♪ to make the others
comfortable ♪
♪ in their tropic island nest ♪
♪ no boat, no light ♪
♪ no motor cars,
not a single luxury ♪
♪ like Robinson crusoe ♪
♪ it's primitive as can be ♪
♪ so join us here
each week, my friends ♪
♪ you're sure to get a smile ♪
♪ from 7 stranded castaways ♪
♪ here on gilligan's isle ♪